| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Gretchen, | 格雷琴 |
| [00:07] | will you please pass the syrup to your boyfriend? | 你能把糖浆递给你男朋友吗 |
| [00:10] | We’re eating! | 我们在吃饭呢 |
| [00:11] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [00:12] | You’re boyfriend-girlfriend now, right? | 你们现在是男女朋友了 不是吗 |
| [00:13] | Sounds so high school. | 听着跟幼稚的高中生一样 |
| [00:14] | Then what do you call each other? | 那你们是怎么互称对方的 |
| [00:16] | Your honey? Your boo? | 亲爱的 宝宝 |
| [00:19] | Your companion? | 伴侣吗 |
| [00:19] | What are we, gay lovers from the ’80s? | 你当我们是什么 80年代的基佬吗 |
| [00:21] | We’re not calling each other anything. | 我们才没有什么甜蜜称呼呢 |
| [00:23] | We just made a verbal agreement | 我们只是口头协定了 |
| [00:25] | not to sleep with other people. For now. | 不再跟其他人上床 暂时是这样 |
| [00:27] | In a week, we could remember that monogamy is a | 一周后 我们说不定就会觉得一夫一妻制 |
| [00:29] | social construct free of biological necessity. | 是一种缺乏生理必要性的社会结构 |
| [00:32] | Or we could be invited to a really fun sex party. | 或许我们会受邀参加一个超级好玩的性爱派对 |
| [00:36] | Remember group sex, Jimmy? | 你还记得大明湖畔的群交吗 吉米 |
| [00:40] | Jimmy? | 吉米 |
| [00:41] | Remember group sex? Jimmy? | 你还记得群交吗 吉米 |
| [00:43] | Actually, I’ve never… | 实际上 我从来没有… |
| [00:44] | What?! Not even a standard threesome? | 什么 基本的3P都没有过吗 |
| [00:47] | Oh, Jimmy. | 哎呀 吉米 |
| [00:48] | You’ve had a threesome? | 你都有过3P吗 |
| [00:49] | I’m an adult male in my 30s, | 我可是个30多岁的成年男人 |
| [00:51] | so, yeah. | 所以 没错 |
| [00:54] | Anyway, uh, Lindsay and I wanted to celebrate | 总之呢 琳赛和我想庆祝一下 |
| [00:57] | y’all making it official, | 你们终于正式成为一对了 |
| [00:59] | so I made a dinner reservation for four at 8:00. | 所以我预定了一个8点的四人席位 |
| [01:04] | Oh, hey, I almost forgot. | 对了 我都差点忘了 |
| [01:07] | This package came for you. | 你有一个包裹 |
| [01:34] | That was weird. | 真古怪 |
| [01:36] | I guess I should go give him one of my | 我觉得我该使出埃德加·坤塔罗的 |
| [01:38] | famous Edgar Quintero pep talks. | 独家谈话去抚慰他的小心灵 |
| [01:43] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [01:46] | That’s your job now. | 现在那是你的事了 |
| [01:47] | What? Ew. Why? | 什么 好嫌弃 为什么 |
| [01:49] | Because you’re his lady. | 因为你是他的女人啊 |
| [01:51] | Behind every great man there’s a great woman. | 每个成功男人的背后都有一个伟大的女人 |
| [01:54] | Or, you know, someone like you. Go. | 或者 像你这样的女人 去吧 |
| [01:57] | I think it’s time you got to know the real Jimmy. | 我觉得你该是时候了解真正的吉米了 |
| [02:00] | Do I have to? | 我非去不可吗 |
| [02:18] | 总监 伊森 | |
| [02:40] | Yes! | 好棒 |
| [02:43] | You’ve sold out of my book. | 你把我的书都卖光了 |
| [02:45] | It just goes to show that with patience | 此事证明 只要有耐心 |
| [02:47] | and strong word of mouth, | 以及超强的嘴上推销功夫 |
| [02:49] | true literature… | 真正的文学… |
| [02:50] | You’ve been remaindered, Jimmy. | 你的书被廉价清空了 吉米 |
| [02:52] | Your books are probably being turned into hamster bedding right now. | 你的书现在或许正被制作成仓鼠的窝呢 |
| [02:55] | What?! | 什么 |
| [02:55] | Well, that seems premature. | 不会这么快就沦落如此了吧 |
| [02:57] | Well, if we suddenly get a big rush for it, | 如果你的书突然火了的话 |
| [02:59] | we can always send people to the dollar bin at Costco. | 我们可以让人去好市多的杂物货架上买啊 |
| [03:01] | Oh, you would buy your food in bulk. | 你就等着穷到买散装食物吧 |
| [03:04] | Is that the lesbian from Roseanne? | 那是《罗珊妮》剧中的那个拉拉吗 |
| [03:07] | Unlike you, she wrote a book that’s selling actual copies. | 跟你不同 她写了本书还挺畅销的哦 |
| [03:10] | Oh, of course she did. | 那是当然了 |
| [03:12] | Did they give Darlene a book? | 他们给了达琳一本吗[剧中人] |
| [03:14] | Let’s give Becky Two a book! | 我们给二号贝琪一本吧[剧中人] |
| [03:17] | I look forward to your Married with Children cast poetry slam. | 我很期待你的《奉子成婚》全体卡司的诗朗诵比赛 |
| [03:24] | Dana from work liked my ‘gram of the baby sneaker in the gutter. | 我同事丹娜很喜欢我的迷你运动鞋 |
| [03:27] | And her Internet approval is meaningful because…? | 她在网上大获肯定很有意义 为什么呢 |
| [03:31] | I like her | 我喜欢她 |
| [03:32] | and I don’t have a lot of female friends. | 而且我没有多少女性朋友 |
| [03:34] | I think women are intimidated by vme | 我觉得女人都有点被我吓到 |
| [03:36] | because I have mean cartoon eyebrows. | 因为我有着卡通人物般的刻薄眉毛 |
| [03:41] | So, uh… | 那个… |
| [03:43] | What’s new? | 有发生什么事吗 |
| [03:46] | Listen, if something is bothering you | 听着 如果你有什么烦心事 |
| [03:48] | and you want to talk about it, I will listen. | 你又想谈谈的话 我愿意倾听 |
| [03:52] | Or if you just want to pretend that nothing happened, | 如果你就想当做什么事都没发生 |
| [03:54] | that’s totally fine, too. | 那也是完全没问题的 |
| [03:56] | It was a package from my dad. | 那是我爸寄来的包裹 |
| [03:58] | A Manchester jersey. | 曼城队的球衣 |
| [04:00] | I don’t even like sports– especially Manchester, | 我根本不喜欢体育运动 尤其是曼城队 |
| [04:03] | the team that ruined every Saturday of my entire childhood. | 那个队伍毁了我整个童年中的每一个周六 |
| [04:08] | Also, I sent him a copy of my book, like, months ago. | 而且 我几个月前给他寄去了一本我的书 |
| [04:12] | He didn’t say anything about it. | 他竟然没做出任何评价 |
| [04:17] | Instead, he sends me Gareth Henderson gear. | 相反 他给我寄来了加里斯·亨德森的球衣 |
| [04:22] | Well, great. | 好极了 |
| [04:23] | I’m glad you got that off your chest. | 我很高兴你把胸中憋闷都说出来了 |
| [04:25] | Look! Lena Dunham’s dog got a haircut. | 瞧啊 丽娜·德纳姆的狗狗剪了个头发 |
| [04:28] | I mean, does he think that after, what, 30-odd years on this planet, | 难道他觉得 我在这个星球上生活了30多年后 |
| [04:32] | I’m magically going to start sharing his interest in… | 突然就神奇地和他有同样的兴趣爱好了吗 |
| [04:35] | Uh, still waiting for our friends. | 我们还在等朋友呢 |
| [04:42] | How are you? | 你还好吗 |
| [04:44] | No one ever asks me that. | 从来没人这么问过我 |
| [04:46] | But since you did, I cheated on my husband | 但既然你都问了 我背叛了我的丈夫 |
| [04:50] | with a 19-year-old named Aiden. | 对方是一个叫艾登的19岁少年 |
| [04:54] | Do you feel guilty? | 你感到愧疚吗 |
| [04:55] | Ooh, good question. | 真是个好问题 |
| [04:58] | Honestly, I kind of feel like two different people right now. | 老实说 我觉得我现在就像分裂成了两个人 |
| [05:02] | There’s Wife Lindsay who helps Paul | 一个是人妻琳赛 在保罗进行 |
| [05:04] | with gravestone rubbings on his genealogy trips. | 寻根之旅时 帮助他擦擦墓碑什么的 |
| [05:07] | And then there’s Adulteress Lindsay | 另一个是淫妇琳赛 |
| [05:09] | who just wants to sit on everyone’s face. | 看到个男人就想坐在他脸上 |
| [05:11] | Sometimes I feel like | 有时候我也会觉得 |
| [05:13] | there’s Veteran Edgar and Regular Edgar. | 存在一个老兵埃德加和正常埃德加 |
| [05:16] | So feeling like this is normal? | 那像这种感觉正常吗 |
| [05:17] | Maybe. Although, I do have a traumatic brain injury. | 或许吧 不过我的大脑曾经受过重伤 |
| [05:21] | Me, too! | 我也是 |
| [05:22] | One time I was at a rave | 有次我去参加一个狂野派对 |
| [05:23] | and I stared at a strobe light so long | 我盯着一个频闪灯看太久了 |
| [05:25] | I forgot how to whistle. | 最后我都不知道该怎么吹口哨了 |
| [05:27] | What’d you do today? | 你今天有什么事要做吗 |
| [05:29] | Nothing | 无事可做 |
| [05:30] | Oh, my God! Me, too! | 天啊 我也是 |
| [05:32] | With Gretchen around, | 现在有了格雷琴 |
| [05:33] | I don’t have much to do for Jimmy anymore. | 我已经不需要再为吉米做什么了 |
| [05:35] | I feel this is, like, a new chapter in my friendship with him. | 我感觉这是我和他的友情掀开的新篇章 |
| [05:39] | Hey, this is nice. | 其实这样也很好 |
| [05:42] | I can’t remember the last time Jimmy asked me a question about myself. | 我都不记得吉米上次问候我是什么时候的事了 |
| [05:45] | I’ve been trying to talk to Gretchen about Aiden for days. | 我这好几天想找格雷琴说说艾登的事都没机会 |
| [05:48] | We should just ignore them tonight until they ask about us. | 我们今晚得先忽略他们 除非他们先问起我们 |
| [05:52] | Ooh, I love that. | 我喜欢这个主意 |
| [05:54] | Like an experiment, but without the boring science part | 就像是个实验 但是没有无聊的科学部分 |
| [05:57] | like milligrams and elements and shit. | 比如毫克 元素什么乱七八糟的玩意儿 |
| [05:59] | Great | 好极了 |
| [06:03] | They’re not showing up, are they? | 他们不会来了 是吧 |
| [06:05] | I don’t think so, no. | 我看是不会来了 |
| [06:07] | I wrote a novel and still there’s no response from him. | 我写了本小说 他却没有半点反应 |
| [06:11] | He’s barely literate, so who knows if he could even read it, | 他就是个半文盲 谁知道他看不看得懂啊 |
| [06:15] | but if he did manage to sound it out, | 但他如果能想办法看完的话 |
| [06:18] | it’d just be nice to hear that he was proud of me. | 能听他说他以我为傲也是很好的 |
| [06:21] | You know? | 你懂吗 |
| [06:27] | Are you listening to me? | 你到底有没有在听我说话吗 |
| [06:29] | What? | 什么 |
| [06:30] | Of course. I just, I listen better | 当然在听了 只是当我手头不闲着时 |
| [06:33] | when I have something to do with my hands. | 听的效果会更好一些 |
| [06:35] | Okay. That bikini top doesn’t have straps. | 好吧 不同点在于那件比基尼上衣没有带子 |
| [06:39] | Oh, good call. | 真准 |
| [06:40] | My eyes always go straight to the bush. | 我的眼睛总是直接盯着她的毛看 |
| [06:49] | I know it’s, like, my “Job” to be there for him, | 我知道支持他现在就像是我的”工作” |
| [06:52] | but at one point, I thought he was gonna cry, and I was like, | 但某一刻 我以为他要哭了 我心想着 |
| [06:54] | “This is it. I’m never going to be able to have sex with him again.” | “完了 我再也不想跟他做爱了” |
| [06:57] | I just don’t think I’m equipped to handle this part of a relationship. | 我觉得我没办法处理恋情当中的这一部分 |
| [07:01] | I will sample the Aztec Vanilla. | 我要阿兹特克香草味的试吃品 |
| [07:02] | It’s do-it-yourself now. | 现在是自己动手了 |
| [07:04] | One sample cup per customer. | 每位顾客一个杯子 |
| [07:07] | So I guess you guys feel pretty… | 我想你们一定觉得… |
| [07:08] | I know what you mean about emotions. | 我也懂你说的内心情感 |
| [07:10] | Ever since I cheated on Paul, I’ve been feeling hella guilty. | 自从背叛了保罗之后 我就愧疚得要死 |
| [07:13] | You can’t reuse the sample cups. | 样品杯不能重复使用哦 |
| [07:15] | Part of me thinks I should just tell Paul. | 我有点觉得该直接告诉保罗 |
| [07:18] | What do you think? | 你怎么看 |
| [07:19] | It’s like you guys willfully don’t even hear me. | 你们是故意无视我的是吧 |
| [07:21] | I could just take this one to the grave. | 我也可以直接把这个秘密带进坟墓 |
| [07:24] | Like Titanic said, | 就像《泰坦尼克号》里说的 |
| [07:25] | a woman’s heart is an ocean of secrets. Right? | 女人的心就像是秘密的海洋 对吧 |
| [07:30] | Hello? Are you even listening to me? | 喂 你到底有没有在听我说话啊 |
| [07:33] | Yes, totally. | 当然在听了 |
| [07:34] | I just listen better when I have something to do with my mouth. | 我只是嘴里吃着东西 听的效果会好一些 |
| [07:37] | So, what do you think I should do? | 那你觉得我该怎么做啊 |
| [07:38] | Honestly, Linds, | 老实说 琳赛 |
| [07:39] | I wasn’t gonna say anything, but I can’t take it anymore. | 我本来不打算说什么的 但我已经受不了了 |
| [07:42] | First, you get these new Berkin-toting Westside friends | 你先是找了些西区上流社会的新朋友 |
| [07:45] | with fake teeth and even faker tits. | 各个都装着假牙 隆了假乳 |
| [07:47] | And then the minute I get a… | 我一找到一个… |
| [07:50] | Boyfriend? | 男朋友 |
| [07:52] | As soon as Jimmy and I become a thing, | 吉米和我刚成为一对 |
| [07:53] | you go out and start taking dicks. | 你就出去开始偷汉子了 |
| [07:56] | Can you imagine how abandoned I feel? | 你能想象我的被抛弃感有多严重吗 |
| [07:58] | I’m sorry, Gretchen. | 我很抱歉 格雷琴 |
| [08:00] | Wait, why am I apologizing to you? | 等等 为什么是我在向你道歉啊 |
| [08:03] | You stood me up last night. | 明明是你昨晚放了我鸽子 |
| [08:05] | Hi. bitch | 嗨 贱人 |
| [08:07] | Ready to go back to work? | 准备好回去工作了吗 |
| [08:08] | Um, who is this? | 这是谁啊 |
| [08:11] | This is my work wife, Dana. | 是我的”工作伴侣” 丹娜 |
| [08:14] | You’re work-married? | 你在工作上跟人喜结连理了吗 |
| [08:15] | Come on, wifey. | 走吧 老婆 |
| [08:16] | There is ice cream cake in the office kitchen. | 办公室厨房里有冰激凌蛋糕哦 |
| [08:18] | Cake? Eat a dick, yogurt. | 蛋糕 去死吧 酸乳 |
| [08:21] | – Bye, Linds. – Bye! | -再见了 小琳 -再见 |
| [08:26] | Ma’am, could you not do that? | 小姐 你能别那么做吗 |
| [08:29] | Can you just buy something? | 你能掏钱买点什么吗 |
| [08:30] | I can’t believe they flaked again. | 我真不敢相信他们又放我们鸽子了 |
| [08:32] | Why are they treating us like this? | 他们为什么要这样对待我们啊 |
| [08:36] | Lindsay, I think we’re sidekick. | 琳赛 我觉得我们就是小跟班 |
| [08:40] | Ew, I am not a sidekick. | 我才不是什么小跟班呢 |
| [08:43] | I’m Beyonce, not Kelly Rowland. | 我是碧昂斯女王 不是凯莉·罗兰 |
| [08:46] | If I’m on a motorcycle, I’m driving the motorcycle, | 如果我坐在摩托车上 那一定是在开摩托车 |
| [08:48] | not riding in that shitty little side motorcycle thingie | 而不是坐在专为穷人和狗设计的 |
| [08:51] | for poor people and dogs. | 侧边车里 |
| [08:54] | Think about it. | 你好好想想啊 |
| [08:55] | In your relationship with Gretchen, | 在你和格雷琴的关系中 |
| [08:57] | are you the Mary Tyler Moore | 你是玛丽·泰勒·摩尔 |
| [09:00] | or the Rhoda? | 还是洛达 |
| [09:01] | Who are those people? | 这些人是谁啊 |
| [09:02] | They sound ugly. | 听上去好丑 |
| [09:04] | Okay, uh, in Flipping Out on-on Bravo… | 好吧 以《地产大亨》这部真人秀为例 |
| [09:07] | are you the Jeff lewis | 你是杰夫·路易斯 |
| [09:09] | or the-the Jenni We Don’t Know Her Last Name? | 还是那个我们不知道她姓氏的珍妮 |
| [09:13] | Oh, my God! I am totally the Jenni We Don’t her Last Name. | 天啊 我绝对是”珍妮·姓氏不详”女士 |
| [09:18] | Actually, I do– it’s Pulos. | 实际上 我知道她姓普洛斯 |
| [09:20] | I’m a big fan. | 我是个铁杆粉丝 |
| [09:26] | Yes. Okay. I, I’m not gonna tell him that. | 好的 行 我不会告诉他那事的 |
| [09:31] | Okay. Bye. | 好的 再见 |
| [09:32] | That was Lindsay. She wants us to get dinner with them tonight. | 是琳赛打来的 她让我们去跟他们一起吃饭 |
| [09:35] | Since we flaked last night, we should probably go. | 我们昨晚都放鸽子了 今晚该去了 |
| [09:37] | Whatever. As long as they have booze. | 随便吧 只要那里有酒就行 |
| [09:42] | Cheer up, Jimster. | 高兴一点吧 小吉米 |
| [09:46] | Or you could just really wallow in it. | 或者你可以沉湎于郁闷中 |
| [09:49] | We could listen to some… | 我们可以听一些… |
| [09:53] | The Smiths. | 史密斯乐团的歌 |
| [09:55] | They’re sad and English, too. | 他们的音乐很悲伤 也是英国人 |
| [10:00] | Or I could read you a little, uh, | 或者我可以给你读一段… |
| [10:04] | Jude the Obscure. | 《无名的裘德》 |
| [10:07] | I hope our kids don’t hang themselves because we’re poor. | 我希望我们的孩子不会因为贫穷而上吊 |
| [10:16] | I know what will cheer you up! | 我知道什么能让你高兴起来了 |
| [10:18] | We can do it backwards | 我们可以采用后入式 |
| [10:21] | while you watch foot fetish anime. | 你可以在干的同时看恋足影片 |
| [10:23] | Pass. | 免了 |
| [10:30] | Well, I got to go to happy hour with Dana. | 我得和丹娜一起出去乐了 |
| [10:32] | If you think you’re gonna kill yourself, | 如果你想自杀的话 |
| [10:33] | remember there is a hotline for that | 记得要拨打自杀求助热线 |
| [10:35] | or, you know, just text me. | 或者 给我发短信吧 |
| [11:01] | “When I was little, | “小的时候 |
| [11:03] | I never fantasized about having a baby of my own, | 我从未想过要生一个孩子 |
| [11:06] | unless we were playing war. | 除非我们是在玩战争游戏 |
| [11:08] | I might grab someone else’s child | 我或许会抢一个别人的孩子 |
| [11:10] | and run with them through the forest and hide them in a bramble. | 带着他们穿越丛林 把他们藏在荆棘丛里 |
| [11:14] | I wasn’t like other girls, | 我跟其他女孩不一样 |
| [11:17] | the ones who know from the start that they will be mothers, | 她们从小就很清楚 自己终有一天将成为母亲 |
| [11:21] | daydreaming about wedding days and lacy veils. | 幻想着婚礼 蕾丝面纱 |
| [11:25] | They knew Daddy would walk them down the aisle, | 她们知道父亲会牵着她们走过红毯 |
| [11:28] | give them away. For me, it was not so, | 把她们交给丈夫 对我来说却不是这样的 |
| [11:33] | an observer… not a participant.” | 我只是一个旁观者 而非参与者” |
| [11:42] | Oh, girl, he is super hot. | 妹子 他可真性感啊 |
| [11:45] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [11:46] | Sometimes I think he looks like | 有时候我觉得他长得像是 |
| [11:47] | he’s straight out of a Swedish vampire movie. | 从瑞典吸血鬼电影里跳出来的似的 |
| [11:49] | No, he’s a piece of sex. | 不 他是个性感的男人 |
| [11:51] | No surprise, though– ’cause you’re gorgeous. | 倒也不奇怪 因为你也很美 |
| [11:54] | Aw, thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [11:56] | So, tell me about the boyfriend– what’s his deal? | 跟我说说你男友吧 他是怎么回事 |
| [11:58] | We don’t really use that term, | 我们不会这么叫 |
| [11:59] | but, uh, he’s a writer, he’s British… | 他是个作家 是英国人 |
| [12:02] | he’s usually very funny, but | 他一般都很幽默 但是 |
| [12:03] | he’s been super depressed lately. | 他最近很是郁闷 |
| [12:05] | Every dude I’ve dated cannot handle being sad for, like, a second. | 我约会过的每个男人悲伤都无法持续一秒钟 |
| [12:08] | Can you imagine not being able to fully experience your emotions? | 你能想象 无法完全体会自我的感情吗 |
| [12:13] | No. | 不能 |
| [12:15] | Well, we have a dinner later | 我们待会儿要一起去吃晚餐 |
| [12:16] | I have to see if I can get him to rally. | 我得去看看能不能说动他参加 |
| [12:18] | I should head out, too– I’ll give you a ride. | 我也该出去了 我载你一程吧 |
| [12:19] | Ok | 好吧 |
| [12:23] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [12:27] | I came here tonight to heckle you. | 我今晚原本是打算来黑你的 |
| [12:29] | And it would have been scathing. | 那一定会恶毒到极点 |
| [12:31] | But I decided against it based on the strength of your work. | 但我后来因为你的作品 而改变了初衷 |
| [12:35] | And I wanted to share that compliment. | 我也想受到这种赞扬 |
| [12:37] | And also have you sign this, please. | 并且让你帮我签个名 谢谢 |
| [12:41] | What were your heckles? | 你的黑话是什么 |
| [12:44] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [12:46] | “Look! There’s the second worst thing about the ’80s– | “看啊 那是80年代第二糟糕的东西 |
| [12:49] | after Reagan’s trickle-down economics, | 仅次于里根经济学 |
| [12:52] | which immediately caused a 10.8% rise in unemployment | 那直接导致了失业率上升10.8% |
| [12:55] | and an explosion in income inequality.” | 以及收入差距大大拉大” |
| [12:58] | Just stuff like that. | 就是这种黑话 |
| [13:00] | Who do you want this made out to? | 你希望把这书签给谁 |
| [13:04] | “To Ronny Overly, | “赠罗尼·奥弗利 |
| [13:05] | a father whose sole connection to his son is | 作为一名父亲 他和儿子间唯一的纽带 |
| [13:08] | that he never connected with his father…” | 就是他跟他自己的父亲间也从未有过感情纽带” |
| [13:10] | “Yo, Ron. So glad I have a big fan in the UK. | “谢了 罗 我很高兴我在英国还有个粉丝 |
| [13:14] | Love, Sandra.” | 爱你的 桑德拉” |
| [13:16] | Thank you. I’m actually an author myself. | 谢谢 其实我也是个作家 |
| [13:20] | Congratulations, You’re Dying. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? | 《恭喜 你正在死去》 或许你听过这本书吧 |
| [13:23] | They carry it here? | 他们这儿有卖的吗 |
| [13:24] | Bookstore manager? | 书店经理呢 |
| [13:27] | Sandra Bernhard here is interested in purchasing my book. | 桑德拉·伯纳德有意买我的书 |
| [13:32] | I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [13:33] | As Jimmy knows, he’s been remaindered. | 吉米也知道 他的书被低价清空了 |
| [13:36] | That’s such a waste of money. | 真是浪费钱啊 |
| [13:38] | Thank you! It’s a travesty. | 谢你了 真是太滑稽了 |
| [13:40] | You know what they should have done? | 你知道他们应该怎么做吗 |
| [13:42] | They should’ve taken all the books they printed | 他们应该把已经刊印的你的所有书 |
| [13:44] | and thrown them directly into a hobo trash can fire. | 都直接扔进垃圾桶里烧掉 |
| [13:48] | It would have saved a lot on shipping costs. | 那可以省下好多运费啊 |
| [13:50] | You’re an asshole… | 你真是个大混蛋 |
| [13:52] | Man-dra Butt… Buttfart. | 男德拉·屁股臭屁 |
| [13:54] | Is that one of your previously written heckles, | 那是你之前就准备好的黑话 |
| [13:57] | or was that just off the cuff? | 还是你灵机一闪想到的 |
| [13:58] | Tooth gap! Some-something about your tooth | 大牙缝 你的大牙缝绝逼是个槽点 |
| [14:01] | Enough, Jimmy. Philippe! | 够了 吉米 菲利普 |
| [14:03] | What the…?! | 搞毛啊 |
| [14:04] | Don’t you touch me, Philippe! I’m going. | 别碰我 菲利普 我自己走 |
| [14:08] | I am so sorry. | 我真的很抱歉 |
| [14:11] | Yeah, it’s really pretty, huh? | 是啊 真漂亮 对吧 |
| [14:15] | I love that. | 我好爱 |
| [14:21] | Is that Nancy from Roseanne? | 那是《罗珊妮》那部剧中的南茜吗 |
| [14:24] | Don’t want to talk about it. | 我不想谈论这个 |
| [14:26] | Jimmy, this is Dana from work. | 吉米 这是我同事丹娜 |
| [14:32] | I’ve heard… so much about you. | 我听说了 好多关于你的事 |
| [14:35] | You weren’t lying. | 你还真没撒谎 |
| [14:36] | He is like a sexy Swedish vampire. | 他确实很像是性感的瑞典吸血鬼 |
| [14:38] | Sorry, ladies. I’m-I’m… I’m going to bed. | 抱歉 女士们 我要上床去睡觉了 |
| [14:47] | This sucks. I need to snap him out of it somehow. | 真是太糟糕了 我得想办法让他摆脱这种状态 |
| [14:52] | Just bang the shit out of him, dummy. | 跟他疯狂地干一场就行了 傻姑娘 |
| [14:54] | I tried! | 我试过了啊 |
| [14:55] | I’m sorry, Dana. This is not how you should be spending your night. | 不好意思 丹娜 你的夜晚不该这么度过 |
| [14:59] | You are way too fun and beautiful and spontaneous. | 你很有趣 美丽 又随性疯狂 |
| [15:03] | You should just go. | 你还是先走吧 |
| [15:04] | Do you want me to stay? | 你想让我留下来吗 |
| [15:07] | Well, maybe we could go down there and… | 或许我们可以下去 然后… |
| [15:10] | Oh, my God, I just had the craziest idea. | 天啊 我刚想到一个疯狂的主意 |
| [15:13] | What? You can just ask me to have a threesome. | 什么 你可以直接邀请我玩3P的 |
| [15:15] | What?! What? | 什么 神马 |
| [15:17] | That is bananas. What are you even talking about? | 那真是太疯狂了 你在胡说些什么啊 |
| [15:21] | Can you imagine? Are you serious? | 你能想象吗 你是说真的吗 |
| [15:25] | – Sure. – Okay. | -当然 -好的 |
| [15:28] | – Okay! – Ok | -好吧 -好吧 |
| [15:31] | Oh, this is awesome. | 真是太赞了 |
| [15:33] | This is guaranteed to cheer him up. | 这个一定会让他高兴起来的 |
| [15:35] | He has never had a threesome before. | 他以前从没玩过3P呢 |
| [15:36] | Did he never go to middle school? | 他难道没上过中学吗 |
| [15:37] | Right? | 就是啊 |
| [15:50] | Jimmy. How you doing, buddy? | 吉米 你还好吗 小哥 |
| [15:56] | We just wanted to make sure that you are doing okay. | 我们只是想确保你没事 |
| [15:59] | I’m fine, yeah. | 我挺好的 |
| [16:01] | We just wanted to make sure that you were extra fine. | 我们只是想确保你超级好 |
| [17:08] | Is that… ? | 那是… |
| [17:09] | You came already?! | 你这就射了吗 |
| [17:12] | I guess this show got a little bit too sexy for you. | 我看这场戏对你来说香艳过头了吧 |
| [17:15] | What? | 什么 |
| [17:17] | It’s his first time. Maybe he got a little overexcited. | 这是他第一次 或许他是兴奋过度了 |
| [17:19] | No, I didn’t. | 不 我没有 |
| [17:21] | In fact, the joke’s on you. | 实际上 闹笑话的人是你们 |
| [17:23] | This is from a couple of minutes ago | 这个是几分钟前射的 |
| [17:26] | before you guys even came down. | 当时你们都还没下来 |
| [17:28] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [17:29] | Hold on. | 等等 |
| [17:30] | So, you masturbated to completion in the literally one minute | 所以你在一分钟内就完成了打飞机的过程吗 |
| [17:34] | from the time you left upstairs to this moment? | 从你下楼梯那刻算起 直到此刻 |
| [17:36] | I started at the top of the stairs. | 我从楼梯上层就开始撸了 |
| [17:38] | What? I couldn’t help it. | 怎么了啊 我欲望难抑啊 |
| [17:39] | You’re both so beautiful, | 你们都这么漂亮 |
| [17:42] | and I started thinking about | 我开始想着 |
| [17:43] | how you guys must have hugged earlier tonight, | 你们今晚早些时候肯定拥抱过 |
| [17:47] | and when you did, did your… | 当你们拥抱的时候 你们的… |
| [17:48] | did your boobies get all, like, “squozen” together? | 你们的大胸是不是 都挤到一起去了 |
| [17:51] | And then you just laid there in it? | 然后你就那么任精液横流吗 |
| [17:53] | Shut up… Dana! | 闭嘴 丹娜 |
| [17:55] | I was enjoying the afterglow! | 我是在享受高潮的余波 |
| [17:57] | I didn’t think you’d actually come down here, | 我没想到你们两个会下来 |
| [17:59] | you giant weirdo. | 你们两个死变态 |
| [18:00] | You masturbated while walking down the stairs | 你抱着桑德拉·伯纳德的站立人像 |
| [18:04] | carrying a giant Sandra Bernhard standee, and I’m the weirdo?! | 一边下楼梯一边打飞机 还说我是死变态 |
| [18:08] | Yeah, I got to go. | 行了 我得走了 |
| [18:09] | No. Wait! | 不 等等 |
| [18:13] | Well, now I get why you’ve never had a threesome. | 现在我算知道你为什么从来没有过3P了 |
| [18:16] | Dumb ass. Dana? | 蠢货 丹娜 |
| [18:23] | I’m sure they’ll be here any minute. | 我相信他们很快就会来的 |
| [18:35] | What’s the matter? | 怎么了 |
| [18:35] | I can’t believe I finally made a new friend, | 我真不敢相信我终于交到一个新朋友 |
| [18:38] | and I tried to bang her the first time we hung out. | 第一次约她出来玩 就想上她 |
| [18:41] | I suck at girls, Jimmy. | 我真不擅长交女性朋友 吉米 |
| [18:43] | All the way back to the fourth grade | 回忆四年级的时候 |
| [18:45] | when everyone was mean to me | 每个人都对我很刻薄 |
| [18:46] | because I was the first person to grow boobs. | 因为我是胸部第一个发育的人 |
| [18:49] | Whatever, Jessica Olsen. | 管他呢 杰西卡·奥尔森 |
| [18:51] | You’re still flat as shit. | 你到现在还是个飞机场 |
| [18:54] | I guess I’m still that sad little ten-year-old girl sometimes, | 我觉得我有时依然是那个悲伤的10岁小女孩 |
| [19:00] | wishing someone would sit next to me on the side… | 希望某人能愿意坐在我身边 |
| [19:01] | Oh, my God, will you stop?! | 天啊 你能别叨逼了吗 |
| [19:03] | What? | 怎么了啊 |
| [19:05] | No offense, but you’re kind of making my skin crawl. | 无意冒犯 但你简直让我起鸡皮疙瘩 |
| [19:10] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [19:11] | I’m not comfortable with… feelings. | 我不太习惯 坦然面对心里的感情 |
| [19:14] | I listened to you blathering on about | 我之前一直在听你叨逼 |
| [19:16] | “Ooh, me Da.” | “俺爹什么的” |
| [19:17] | That’s Irish, dumb-dumb. | 那是爱尔兰语 蠢蛋 |
| [19:20] | And you didn’t listen. You played Photo Hunt. | 你根本就没听啊 你当时在玩看图找错 |
| [19:24] | And quite poorly, for the record. | 并且 你玩得很烂 |
| [19:26] | I don’t know why I started unloading on you like that. | 我也不知道我为什么就开始对你倾诉了 |
| [19:29] | I don’t do… feelings. | 我向来都是 屏蔽心里感情的 |
| [19:34] | What the hell is wrong with us? | 我们到底是有什么毛病啊 |
| [19:37] | Nothing. | 没毛病 |
| [19:38] | We should celebrate. | 我们该庆祝一下 |
| [19:41] | We found someone who is equally dead inside. | 我们找到了一个内心同样已经死去的人 |
| [19:45] | Let’s make a pact | 我们来立个契约吧 |
| [19:46] | never to feel anything around each other ever again. | 以后自动忽略对方的感情宣泄 |
| [19:49] | – Deal? – Deal. | -成交吗 -成交 |
| [19:51] | I can’t believe you’ve been my boyfriend for, like, three days, | 我真不敢相信你做我的男朋友才3天 |
| [19:54] | and we already had to bring in a third party. | 我们就得请外援了 |
| [19:57] | – What? – You just said boyfriend? | -怎么了 -你刚说了男朋友 |
| [20:00] | Oh, whatever. It’s… it’s economical, okay? | 管他呢 那很顺口而已 |
| [20:03] | Sure. God, you have issues. | 是啊 天啊 你真是有毛病 |
| [20:06] | You are the one who cried over a soccer jersey. | 是你对着一件足球衫哭得惨兮兮的 |
| [20:20] | Actually… that is kind of hot. | 实际上 你穿着还挺性感的呢 |
| [20:24] | You look like a soccer hooligan. | 你看着就像是个足球小痞子 |
| [20:27] | I always had a thing for jocks, you know? | 我一直对运动男情有独钟呢 |
| [20:30] | Hey, uh, we can pop inside and do it quick | 我们可以先进去 打个快炮 |
| [20:34] | before we head to the diner, right? | 然后再一起去吃饭 好吗 |
| [20:36] | Oh, yeah. Oh, 15 minutes, tops. | 好啊 最多15分钟吧 |