| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:18] | So, Gretchen, | 格雷琴 |
| [00:20] | There’s a topic we haven’t broached yet. | 有一个话题我们还没提过 |
| [00:22] | How you seem to only own one pair of jeans? | 你怎么只有一条牛仔裤 |
| [00:25] | You’ve been so focused on Jimmy’s dad. | 你最近一直很关注吉米爸爸的事 |
| [00:27] | Has that stirred up any feelings about your father? | 那是否触发了你对于你爸爸的感情 |
| [00:32] | Nope! | 没有 |
| [00:32] | What about your mom? | 那你妈妈呢 |
| [00:34] | I’ve noticed some tension around the subject. | 我注意到 一谈到这个话题你就紧张 |
| [00:36] | Tension? | 紧张 |
| [00:37] | My mom’s a baller-ass boss. End of story. | 我妈是个屌爆的女强人 没了 |
| [00:39] | Did you see Wheel last night? | 你看了昨晚的《幸运之轮》吗 |
| [00:41] | Someone almost hit the million-dollar wedge. | 有个人差点转到了100万美元的那一格 |
| [00:43] | I remember when they brought that out in ’08, | 我记得他们08年把100万的奖放上去时 |
| [00:45] | I was like, “What? That is nuts.” | 我就在想 什么鬼 真是太疯狂了 |
| [00:48] | So, would you say she’s controlling, manipulative? | 你觉得她控制欲强 喜欢操纵他人吗 |
| [00:51] | If I biffed a tennis match, | 要是我输了一场网球比赛 |
| [00:53] | She would take away my sheets and pillows. | 她就会收走我的床单和枕头 |
| [00:55] | But that is what made me strong. | 但那让我更加坚强 |
| [00:56] | My friends had chill parents who didn’t push them, | 我朋友们的父母倒是很随意 从不逼迫他们 |
| [00:59] | And now they’re all unmotivated babies. | 如今他们都是不上进的爸宝妈宝 |
| [01:01] | Maybe if they had a mom like mine, | 要是他们的妈妈像我的一样 |
| [01:03] | They wouldn’t be the pieces of shit that they are currently. | 他们就不会是现在这副鬼样子 |
| [01:06] | You know what? | 这样吧 |
| [01:08] | I’gonna fix those shitty babies, just like my mom would. | 我要去矫正那些熊孩子 我妈肯定会这么做的 |
| [01:11] | I would actually advise you not interfere with your friends’ lives, | 我还是建议你不要干预你那些朋友们的生活 |
| [01:13] | Too late. Doing it. | 太迟了 已经干预了 |
| [01:15] | Of course you are. | 当然了 |
| [01:17] | Okay, Gretchen. | 好吧 格雷琴 |
| [01:19] | this is obviously not working. | 这样显然没作用 |
| [01:20] | The defensiveness, the mid-session naps, | 你防备心太强 谈话过程中还要睡一觉 |
| [01:23] | The things you’re writing on the bathroom stalls, | 还有你在厕所墙上写的东西 |
| [01:24] | The name calling… | 那些骂人的话 |
| [01:25] | Oh, see, that one’s on you. | 等等 那个得怪你 |
| [01:27] | You let a dog on the bed once… | 你一旦允许我肆无忌惮地骂过一次… |
| [01:28] | No one is forcing you to be here. | 没人逼你来这儿 |
| [01:30] | Are you firing me? | 你要炒了我吗 |
| [01:32] | You don’t fire me. I fire you. | 你不能炒了我 我炒你才对 |
| [01:37] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [01:40] | Wait. Uh, let’s compromise. | 等等 我们互相妥协下吧 |
| [01:42] | If I fix my friends | 要是我矫正了我的朋友 |
| [01:44] | and prove that I’m right about my mom, | 并证明我对我妈的看法是对的 |
| [01:45] | Do you promise not to fire me? | 你能保证不炒了我吗 |
| [01:48] | I’m not firing you. | 我没有要炒了你 |
| [01:50] | That is not a compromise. | 而且那也不是什么妥协 |
| [01:52] | And I don’t agree to any of it. | 我完全不同意 |
| [01:53] | Great. Deal. | 很好 说定了 |
| [01:56] | Seriously, | 讲真 |
| [01:57] | Jeans are, like, 20 bucks at H&M. | H&M的牛仔裤才20刀一条 |
| [01:59] | Get on it. | 去买吧 |
| [02:28] | What are you doing? | 你干什么 |
| [02:28] | Zoo Entrepreneur? What the hell is this? | 动物园企业家 这是什么玩意儿 |
| [02:30] | It’s a highly invigorating game | 一个超好玩的游戏 |
| [02:32] | In which one builds a virtual zoo. | 你可以在里面建一所虚拟动物园 |
| [02:35] | Mine’s called “Jimmy’s spectacular zoo of wonder | 我的叫”吉米的豪华幻想动物园 |
| [02:38] | “and animal friends | 住满了小动物 |
| [02:39] | Plus Cinnabons, parenthesis no Edgars allowed.” | 开有肉桂餐厅 且埃德加不得入内” |
| [02:43] | And you’re a professional writer. | 你竟然有脸当一名职业作家 |
| [02:44] | Gretchen, feeding the giraffe and washing the rhinoceri | 格雷琴 喂喂长颈鹿 给犀牛洗澡 |
| [02:47] | exercises everything that a writer needs for a productive day | 满足了一个作家保持高产的一切必须条件 |
| [02:51] | Problem solving, imagination, word having. | 解决问题 想象 创造词语 |
| [02:55] | What’s your giraffe’s name? | 你的长颈鹿叫什么名儿 |
| [02:56] | – Necky. – Jimmy, you have a deadline! You need to be writing! | -小颈子 -吉米 你有最后期限 你得写起来 |
| [02:59] | Gretchen, it’s all writing! | 格雷琴 这都是写作 |
| [03:01] | No, it’s not. | 不 才不是 |
| [03:02] | Playing, literally, the world’s most boring game is not writing. | 玩世界上最无聊的游戏真不是写作 |
| [03:05] | You know what’s writing? | 你知道什么才是写作吗 |
| [03:07] | Writing! | 动笔写 |
| [03:08] | Sorry, bor– boring? | 不好意思 无聊 |
| [03:10] | Why, just yesterday a seven-year-old | 就昨天 一个7岁小孩儿 |
| [03:11] | Fell into the koala enclosure. | 掉进了考拉的围笼 |
| [03:13] | He was not injured. | 他没受伤 |
| [03:14] | But he sure was severely nuzzled. | 但他被考拉用鼻子狂”爱抚”了一番 |
| [03:17] | Gretchen, what are you– no! | 格雷琴 你在干…不要 |
| [03:18] | No, plug the router back in! | 不要 给我把路由器接回去 |
| [03:19] | My zoo is cloud-based. | 我的动物园建在云平台上 |
| [03:21] | You show me some pogress on your book and maybe you’ll get this back. | 让我看到你的书有进展 说不定你就能拿回这个 |
| [03:23] | But my female elephant has severe ADHD. | 可是我的母象患有严重的多动症 |
| [03:27] | If I don’t provide her with constant stimuli, | 要是我不能持续给她提供外界刺激 |
| [03:30] | She’ll suck all the hair off her tail. | 它就会啃掉自己尾巴上的毛 |
| [03:31] | What’s your elephant’s name? | 你的大象叫什么名儿 |
| [03:33] | Persephone Cordelia Fitzsimmons. | 珀尔塞福涅·科迪莉亚· 菲茨西蒙斯 |
| [03:35] | Trunky. | 其实叫小鼻鼻 |
| [03:41] | Oh, yes. | 好爽 |
| [03:43] | Oh, that’s so good. | 真是太爽了 |
| [03:45] | Do it. | 用力 |
| [03:47] | Would you look at that? | 瞧瞧啊 |
| [03:48] | A new poké place just opened up on Barrington. | 巴灵顿新开了一家宝可梦中心 |
| [03:53] | Actor Peter Gallagher | 演员皮特·加拉格 |
| [03:55] | has shaved $100,000 off the listing for his home, | 将其待售房屋的价格降低了10万美元 |
| [03:58] | which features mature fruit trees. | 那可是带成熟果树的房子啊 |
| [04:01] | Imagine that. | 想想啊 |
| [04:04] | The bulky item drop-off event is next weekend. | 大件物品回收活动就在下周末 |
| [04:07] | We could dispose of the broken wine fridge. | 我们可以把那个坏酒柜处理掉 |
| [04:10] | Pull my hair. | 扯我头发 |
| [04:11] | What? | 什么 |
| [04:11] | Another iOS update? | iOS又更新啦 |
| [04:14] | These things are quite the nuisance, but… | 像这种东西真的很麻烦 但… |
| [04:15] | – Choke me. …- necessary for stability. | -掐我喉咙 -对稳定性有必要 |
| [04:17] | – Almost there. – Oh, my God, Lindsay. | -快到了 -我的天 琳赛 |
| [04:19] | Did you know that every time you evacuate your bowels, | 你知道吗 每当你肠道排便时 |
| [04:22] | – You lose one-third… – Almost there! | -你会排掉… -快到了 |
| [04:25] | – of the bacteria… – I’m almost there! | -1/3的… -我就快高潮了 |
| [04:27] | in your body. | 体内细菌 |
| [04:28] | Goddamn it! | 该死的 |
| [04:29] | Isn’t that amazing? | 那很棒不是吗 |
| [04:34] | “Simon startled, pulsing with desire, | “萨蒙惊了 身体充斥着欲望 |
| [04:37] | for he had dreamed of Kitty again. | 因为他再次梦到了凯蒂 |
| [04:38] | He wondered if at that moment, | 他在想 在那一刻 |
| [04:40] | She was dreaming of him, moist and…” | 她是否也在梦着他 湿滑又…” |
| [04:42] | This is the worst day for me to be absent from the zoo. | 今天是最不该缺席动物园的日子 |
| [04:46] | I didn’t order extra pellets for the petting zoo. | 我没有为爱抚动物园多预定些食物 |
| [04:49] | There’s no way that those goats don’t develop a taste for human fingers. | 那些小山羊肯定爱上了人类手指的味道 |
| [04:52] | Can’t do this today. | 今天写不下去了 |
| [04:54] | You promised your agent two more chapters by the end of the week. | 你承诺你的经纪人周末前再交两章了 |
| [04:56] | Well, we all make promises we can’t keep, Killian. | 是个人都会做些难以兑现的承诺 卡利安 |
| [05:00] | like you, with your Presidential Fitness Challenge. | 就像你和你的”总统健身挑战” |
| [05:11] | Uh, are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [05:12] | Ever since my dad’s roast, I’ve felt odd. | 自从被我爸嘲弄后 我就感觉很怪 |
| [05:15] | Just aimless, but suddenly awakened. | 失去目标 但又突然醒悟 |
| [05:18] | Like I’m accessing areas of my brain | 我仿佛突然进入了大脑中 |
| [05:20] | that have been shut off for years. | 多年来一直尘封的区域 |
| [05:22] | I feel like Bradley Cooper, you know, in that movie, uh… | 我就像布莱德利·库珀 那部电影叫… |
| [05:26] | – Aloha. …- Limitless. | -《阿罗哈》 -《永无止境》 |
| [05:29] | What is that body of water down there? | 下面那片水域是什么 |
| [05:30] | Is it some sort of public wash for the destitute? | 那是穷人的公共浴池吗 |
| [05:33] | Have you seriously never been to the reservoir? | 你是真的没去过蓄水池吗 |
| [05:35] | There’s a park, a running trail, | 那有个公园 有个跑道 |
| [05:37] | a rec center. | 有娱乐中心 |
| [05:38] | Well, that settles that. To the… | 就这么定了 我决定… |
| [05:42] | reservoir I shall go. | 我要去蓄水池 |
| [05:45] | I’d go with you, | 我可以一起 |
| [05:46] | But I’m actually working on a new Dr. Weed video. | 但我要做新一期的”大麻医生”视频 |
| [05:49] | Did I ever tell you about my character, Dr. Weed? | 我跟你说过我的新角色大麻医生吗 |
| [05:52] | He’s this doctor who loves weed, but… | 他是一位热爱大麻的医生 但是 |
| [05:55] | Mister? | 先生 |
| [05:58] | Do you have any extra foods? | 有没有多的食物 |
| [06:15] | Lindsay, you’re a mess, right? | 琳赛 你整个人一团糟 对吧 |
| [06:17] | Boy howdy. | 当然啦 |
| [06:19] | So, what is going on in your life | 那么 你最近遇到了什么问题 |
| [06:21] | that I can berate you into fixing my way? | 能让我臭骂你一顿 帮你矫正过来 |
| [06:24] | Let’s see. | 我想想看 |
| [06:26] | Well, I was having sex with this hunk named Raul, | 我之前正和一个叫拉乌的肌肉男做爱 |
| [06:30] | and I was about to splooge, | 我马上就要潮吹了 |
| [06:31] | but then paul kept talking and it went back inside. | 结果保罗说个不停 又被我吸回去了 |
| [06:34] | I still can’t believe you’re cucking Paul. | 我还是不敢相信你在”绿”保罗 |
| [06:36] | – I’m what now? – Cuckolding. | -我什么他 -戴绿帽 |
| [06:38] | It’s a subgenre of femdom. | 那是”女王主义”的一种 |
| [06:39] | Well, whatever it is, Paul’s ruining it. | 不管是什么 都被保罗毁了 |
| [06:42] | I just want to be normal and cheat on my husband | 我只想正常地背叛我的老公 |
| [06:44] | without feeling guilty about it. | 且不用有罪恶感 |
| [06:45] | And here you are sulking about it like a loser. | 你又像个失败者一样唉声叹气了 |
| [06:48] | You know what winners do? | 你知道成功者会怎么做吗 |
| [06:50] | They take what they want, no matter what. | 他们随心所欲 不计代价 |
| [06:52] | So what are you gonna do about it? | 所以你准备怎么做 |
| [06:54] | I’m gonna… | 我下次… |
| [06:56] | tell Paul to go away the next time I want to pork a rando? | 和别人做爱时 告诉保罗走开吗 |
| [06:59] | And don’t you come back without results, young lady, | 下次别再无功而返了 姑娘 |
| [07:01] | Or else no must see TV for you! | 否则就别想看电视了 |
| [07:03] | Why are you being so bossy? | 你为何这么蛮横 |
| [07:04] | Not bossy, lindsay. | 不是蛮横 琳赛 |
| [07:08] | Maternal. | 是母性 |
| [07:41] | You retrieved the projectile. | 你捡回了我扔的东西 |
| [07:44] | But why? | 但为什么呢 |
| [08:04] | Do you guys watch Mr. Robot? | 你们看《黑客军团》吗 |
| [08:08] | Okay. Our first letter comes from Randall in Lubbock. | 好了 第一封信来自卢伯克的兰德尔 |
| [08:11] | “Dear Dr. Weed… | “亲爱的大麻医生 |
| [08:13] | “Every soap I use in the shower | “我洗澡时用过的所有香皂 |
| [08:15] | dries my skin out.” | 都让我的皮肤变得好干燥” |
| [08:17] | Randall, this is a very common problem. | 兰德尔 这是个很常见的烦恼 |
| [08:19] | My diagnosis is — | 我的诊断结果是 |
| [08:21] | Twice a day, I want you… | 我希望你能每日两次… |
| [08:23] | to smoke more weed! | 再多抽点大麻 |
| [08:30] | What’s going on here? | 你这是在做什么 |
| [08:31] | Uh, cut. | 停 |
| [08:34] | Uh, just answering viewer mail. | 回复观众来信 |
| [08:38] | I-I write the questions myself. | 其实问题都是我自己写的 |
| [08:41] | So what’s the goal with this? | 那你做这个的目的是什么 |
| [08:42] | Oh, nothing. It’s just something dumb | 没什么目的 就是录点傻兮兮的视频 |
| [08:44] | I put on the internet for my vet friends. | 发到网上逗我那些老兵朋友们笑笑 |
| [08:45] | So you’re wasting your most valuable resource… | 所以你在浪费你最宝贵的资源 |
| [08:48] | – My talent? – Your time, | -我的天赋吗 -你的时间 |
| [08:49] | for no reason. | 且毫无缘由 |
| [08:50] | Edgar, this has potential. | 埃德加 这是有发展潜力的 |
| [08:52] | Really? Thanks. | 真的吗 谢谢 |
| [08:54] | Because, you know, I thought… | 因为 我想… |
| [08:54] | But just because you got Your period at 11 | 就因为你在11岁就来月经了 |
| [08:56] | does not make you a woman. | 并不代表你就是女人了 |
| [09:00] | Look, if you’re gonna do these videos, | 听着 如果你想做这些视频 |
| [09:01] | You got to do them all the way. | 你就要全力以赴 |
| [09:04] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [09:06] | First, we’re gonna blast the video sites | 首先 我们要在视频网站刷屏 |
| [09:08] | and anything veteran related. | 任何与老兵有关的都不能放过 |
| [09:10] | I’ll sneak it to some contacts. | 我会推荐给一些有门路的熟人看的 |
| [09:13] | You have a comment from a journalist. | 有个记者给你留了条留言 |
| [09:15] | “I’m producing a new piece on | “我在制作一篇关于 |
| [09:16] | how marijuana can help veterans, | 大麻是如何帮助老兵的新报道 |
| [09:18] | and I’d love to interview you.” | 我希望能采访你” |
| [09:20] | So have you reached out to him? | 你联系他了吗 |
| [09:21] | Nah. I don’t really want that much attention. | 没有 我不想获取太多的关注 |
| [09:28] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
| [09:31] | Are you mad at me? | 你生我气了吗 |
| [09:32] | Sometimes I think I care more about this than you do. | 有时我觉得自己是皇帝不急太监急 |
| [09:34] | No, no. I’m-I’m sorry. | 不 不是的 真对不起 |
| [09:36] | I was just nervous. I’ll e-mail the guy. | 我只是紧张 我会给那人发电邮的 |
| [09:44] | Is that the shirt you’re wearing? | 你就穿这件衬衫录视频吗 |
| [09:58] | Shoot it, shoot it, shoot it, shoot it. | 快投 快投 快投 |
| [10:00] | Go in, go in, go in, go in! | 投篮投篮 |
| [10:06] | Let’s go. Let’s run next. | 来 接着来 |
| [10:08] | You want in? | 你想一起打球吗 |
| [10:12] | Well, I am trying new things today. | 我今天在尝试新事物 |
| [10:14] | I am in. | 我加入 |
| [10:15] | Whose, uh… Whose squad shall I be on? | 我 我该进哪个小队 |
| [10:18] | The other one. | 别进我这队 |
| [10:19] | Screen, screen, screen. | 防住 防住 |
| [10:28] | You, you, you! | 你 给你 |
| [10:35] | Watch, screen, screen! | 小心 防住 防住 |
| [10:38] | Shoot it! | 投篮 |
| [10:40] | Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [10:41] | I win! I win. | 我赢了 我赢了 |
| [10:45] | What an invigorating hand sport. | 真是项令人振奋的手部运动 |
| [10:46] | How often do you, uh, you fellows play? | 你们多久玩一次 |
| [10:52] | My ankle! | 我的脚踝 |
| [10:53] | W-we forfeit! | 我们被迫退赛 |
| [10:54] | My-my team forfeits! | 我们队被迫退赛 |
| [10:58] | Nice and clean. | 这下干净了 |
| [11:08] | So clean. | 太干净了 |
| [11:13] | Bear, can we talk? | 熊宝宝 我们谈谈好吗 |
| [11:14] | Of course. | 当然 |
| [11:18] | I love you so much. | 我好爱好爱你 |
| [11:21] | And I want to keep being honest with you. | 我希望你一直对你这么坦诚 |
| [11:23] | – Oh, god. – I just noticed | -天啊 -我注意到 |
| [11:24] | how hard It’s been for you when Raul is around. | 每次拉乌来时 你都很难受 |
| [11:27] | So, for your sake, | 所以为了你 |
| [11:28] | I’ll spend time with him, or whoever, | 我和他 或者和其他人在一起时 |
| [11:32] | somewhere else, so you won’t have to watch. | 会另找地方 这样你就不用看着了 |
| [11:36] | For you. | 为了你 |
| [11:40] | You can’t have relations with other men when I’m not there. | 你不能在我不在场的情况下和其他男人来往 |
| [11:43] | That’s adultery. | 那是通奸 |
| [11:44] | Well, you’re clearly not enjoying cucking. | 你显然对绿帽情节不感兴趣啊 |
| [11:47] | Which is what we’re doing. | 也就是我们所做的 |
| [11:49] | And it’s ruining it for me. | 你把我的乐趣都毁了 |
| [11:51] | I am doing the hard work to be a better partner | 我为了成为更好的伴侣 不畏艰难 |
| [11:54] | and tell you what I need. | 告诉你我的需求 |
| [11:55] | And if you can’t handle it… | 如果你不能接受 |
| [11:59] | I just don’t know, Paul. | 我也不知道该怎么办了 保罗 |
| [12:02] | I just don’t know. | 我真的不知道了 |
| [12:05] | So… | 那么 |
| [12:07] | This cucking is something many women fantasize about? | 给老公戴绿帽是很多女人都会幻想的吗 |
| [12:10] | All of them. They all do. | 是所有女人 她们都想这样 |
| [12:20] | Boy. Now I’m embarrassed by my prudishness. | 天啊 我这么假正经真是丢人 |
| [12:24] | Well, if this is an established, rudimentary fetish, | 如果这是公认的基本的一种癖好 |
| [12:28] | then I suppose I am up for the challenge. | 那我想我愿意接受挑战 |
| [12:31] | I’m going to research this fantasy of yours. | 我要去研究一下你的这种幻想 |
| [12:33] | You’ll see. | 你等着瞧吧 |
| [12:35] | I’ll be the best cuck ever. | 我会成为最绿的绿王八 |
| [12:38] | For our family. | 为了我们的家庭 |
| [12:42] | Family. | 家庭 |
| [12:53] | Are you sure it’s not broken? | 你确定我的脚没断吗 |
| [12:54] | It’s just a sprain. So what happened? | 只是扭伤而已 到底怎么回事 |
| [12:57] | I was hooping “B-ball” | 我刚刚在和一些 |
| [12:59] | with some diverse local athletes. | 其他种族的本地运动员打篮球 |
| [13:01] | Sick. | 酷毙了 |
| [13:02] | I am so stoked you called me for this. | 你叫我来帮你治疗 我真是太激动了 |
| [13:04] | Well, don’t have insurance, so… | 没保险嘛 所以… |
| [13:07] | Anyway, thanks. | 不管怎么说 谢了 |
| [13:08] | Uh-uh. We made a deal. | 别 我们可是作了交易的 |
| [13:09] | – I’m not doing your podcast. – You promised! | -我不会客串你的播客节目的 -你答应过的 |
| [13:11] | I don’t care. I’m not… | 我不管 我不会… |
| [13:15] | Although, before yesterday, I thought I hated dogs, | 话又说回来 昨天之前 我还以为我讨厌狗 |
| [13:18] | sports, hipster picnics and unrefrigerated cart fruit, too. | 运动 嬉皮野餐还有未冷藏的街边摊水果 |
| [13:22] | Do you know what? I will do it. | 好吧 我愿意去参与 |
| [13:24] | Hell yeah! This is gonna the best episode | 太棒了 那么这一期节目将成为 |
| [13:26] | since Adam Pally did that extended bit | 继亚当·裴利特别出镜后最棒的一期了 |
| [13:29] | where he pretended he was pissed | 那期他假装生气 |
| [13:30] | and didn’t know why he was doing my show. | 不知道为什么要给我做播客 |
| [13:33] | You’re slouching. | 你没精打采的 |
| [13:35] | Okay, almost ready. | 差不多准备好了 |
| [13:37] | – Okay. – Good. | -好的 -很好 |
| [13:39] | Edgar, tell the nice man what we talked about. | 埃德加 告诉这位先生我们谈过的事 |
| [13:41] | What’s the blue screen for? | 那块蓝幕是用来做什么的 |
| [13:42] | Edgar. You can ask him. | 埃德加 你可以直接问他 |
| [13:47] | What’s the blue screen for? | 那块蓝幕是用来做什么的 |
| [13:49] | Oh, uh, we have a really cool digital set | 我们有一套很棒的数码场景 |
| [13:52] | that we composite in, like Tosh.0. | 可以嵌入进去 就跟《托什》节目一样 |
| [13:55] | And this card? | 那这块板呢 |
| [13:56] | White balance. | 白平衡 |
| [13:59] | White balance. | 白平衡 |
| [14:04] | Just bring it up a little bit. Good. | 往上拿一点点 很好 |
| [14:08] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [14:10] | So, can you introduce yourself? | 你能介绍一下你自己吗 |
| [14:12] | Well, my name is Edgar Quintero. | 我名叫埃德加·坤塔罗 |
| [14:14] | 6th battalion, 8th infantry. | 隶属第6营第8步兵团 |
| [14:16] | And what’s your experience with the V.A. been like? | 那你和老兵事务处打交道的感觉怎么样 |
| [14:19] | The V.A. is a great institution, | 老兵事务处是个很好的机构 |
| [14:21] | but they’re underfunded and understaffed. | 但是他们缺资金也缺人手 |
| [14:24] | People are literally dying | 很多人真的死了 |
| [14:26] | because they can’t get the health care they need. | 因为他们得不到需要的医疗救治 |
| [14:28] | And how long have you been treating your PTSD with marijuana? | 你用大麻治疗创伤后应激障碍已经多久了 |
| [14:32] | Oh, um, th… | 那个 |
| [14:34] | That wasn’t… | 那不是… |
| [14:35] | That’s not really… | 那不是真正的 |
| [14:40] | I’m just not comfortable being so open about my self-medicating. | 我对于如此公开谈论我的自我治疗感到不大舒服 |
| [14:44] | Plus, this is all a lot fancier than I expected. | 而且 这比我预期的要高级多了 |
| [14:46] | They got a blue screen like Tosh.0. | 他们还有像《托什》那样的蓝幕 |
| [14:49] | Honey… You’re doing great. | 亲爱的 你做得很棒 |
| [14:53] | Now, if you don’t get back out there, | 现在如果你不回到那里 |
| [14:55] | We are not stopping for milkshakes on the way home. | 我们回家路上就不停下来买奶昔了 |
| [15:08] | I have tried a bunch of treatments, | 我已经尝试了很多疗法 |
| [15:10] | but nothing has fixed my PTSD. | 但是都治不好我的创伤后应激障碍 |
| [15:15] | Lately though, I found that s… | 但是最近 我发现 |
| [15:19] | smoking pot has been really effective. | 吸大麻真的很有效 |
| [15:24] | I even kind of feel like a real person again. | 我甚至有些觉得自己又像个真正的人了 |
| [15:29] | I don’t know if marijuana works for everyone, | 我不知道大麻是不是对每个人都有效 |
| [15:31] | but it seems to be working for me. | 但对我似乎是有效的 |
| [15:44] | Is it bedtime? | 到睡觉时间了吗 |
| [15:46] | It’s still day. | 现在还是白天啊 |
| [15:47] | Bedtime’s for night. | 睡觉要到晚上啊 |
| [15:49] | As promised, wife, I’ve been researching | 正如我承诺过的 老婆 我一直在研究 |
| [15:51] | this cuckolding fetish we now have. | 那个绿帽癖的事 |
| [15:54] | Certain men intuit | 有些男人本能地觉得 |
| [15:55] | that they are genetically inferior beta males. | 他们在基因上就注定是下等的男性 |
| [15:59] | So they get aroused by watching their partners copulate | 所以通过观看伴侣和其他具有更优秀基因的男子性交 |
| [16:03] | with someone of superior DNA, | 可以燃起他们的性欲 |
| [16:05] | e.g. Raul. | 比如拉乌 |
| [16:08] | Furthermore, I have a special present for you, my hot wife. | 另外 我有一份特别的礼物要送你 我的娇妻 |
| [16:13] | Where’s my present? | 我的礼物在哪呢 |
| [16:15] | Right here. | 就在这儿 |
| [16:20] | The cage symbolizes the cuck’s sexual inferiority | 鸡巴笼象征着绿帽老公的性下等地位 |
| [16:25] | and genital unworthiness. | 和生殖器的卑劣 |
| [16:27] | By associating sexual arousal with… extreme pain, | 将性欲的勃发和巨大的痛楚相连 |
| [16:32] | My body will slowly learn that I do not deserve | 我的身体会逐渐意识到我不配获得 |
| [16:36] | erotic satisfaction. | 情欲上的满足 |
| [16:41] | Oh, god. | 天呐 |
| [16:42] | Okay, Paul… | 好吧 保罗 |
| [16:48] | Part deux of my surprise. | 接下来是惊喜的第二部分 |
| [16:53] | Raul. | 拉乌 |
| [16:54] | Raul’s friend. | 拉乌的朋友 |
| [16:56] | Good day. | 白天好啊 |
| [16:58] | You may take what you want. | 你们尽情享用我老婆吧 |
| [17:09] | Oh, boy. | 天呐 |
| [17:10] | This is humiliating. | 这太丢人了 |
| [17:12] | Your genetic superiority is extremely emasculating. | 你们的基因优越性简直让我不像个男人 |
| [17:16] | Oh, boy, that’s my wife. | 天呐 那是我老婆 |
| [17:18] | I’m a worm. | 我简直是条虫 |
| [17:20] | I’m a worm. | 我是条虫 |
| [17:21] | That’s my wife! | 那是我老婆 |
| [17:22] | I’m a worm! Oh, oh. | 我是条虫 |
| [17:24] | The cage! | 笼子 |
| [17:25] | Oh, the cage. | 笼子 |
| [17:29] | I was not expecting this. | 我没料到是这样的 |
| [17:31] | Dude, I have, like, 20,000 subscribers. | 兄弟 大概有两万人订阅我的节目 |
| [17:34] | Vernon, the guest shower is | 弗南 客房里的淋浴房 |
| [17:35] | completely clogged by your curly hair. | 已经完全被你的卷毛堵住了 |
| [17:37] | I swear to god, if you’re not taking your propecia– | 我发誓 如果你再不用治疗脱毛的药… |
| [17:39] | Hi, Jimmy. Let’s test your levels, huh? | 嗨 吉米 我们来测试一下你的水平 |
| [17:41] | You’re on the podcast? | 你也主持播客吗 |
| [17:43] | Don’t sound so shocked. | 别这么震惊 |
| [17:44] | I interned for Frosty, Heidi and Frank. | 我去《福罗斯蒂&海蒂&弗兰克秀》当过实习生呢 |
| [17:46] | This is balloon knot media. | 这里是气球结传媒 |
| [17:52] | Welcome to Vernon down the house on balloon knot media. | 欢迎收听气球结传媒制作的《弗南闲话》 |
| [17:55] | I am Dr. Vernon Barbara, | 我是弗南·芭芭拉医生 |
| [17:57] | joined, as always, | 我身边依然是 |
| [17:58] | My lovely wife and sidekick. | 我可爱的妻子兼助手 |
| [18:00] | Uh, cohost. | 是搭档主持 |
| [18:01] | Hey, Bec. Aw, did I say “sidekick” again? | 嘿 贝卡 我刚刚又说”助手”了吗 |
| [18:04] | Hey, Vern. Uh, yeah, you did, you stinker. | 嘿 弗南 你又说了 死鬼 |
| [18:07] | Visiting the man cave this week | 本周到访男人窝的 |
| [18:09] | is a very special guest; he’s a best-selling author, | 是一位非常特别的嘉宾 他是畅销书作者 |
| [18:12] | and one of my all-time best buds, | 也是我最好的兄弟之一 |
| [18:14] | Jimmy Shive-overly. | 吉米·希瓦-奥弗利 |
| [18:17] | Welcome, Jimmy. | 欢迎光临 吉米 |
| [18:18] | Uh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [18:19] | – So great. – So, Jimmy, where you from? | -太棒了 -吉米 你来自哪里 |
| [18:21] | Savannah, Georgia. | 乔治亚州萨凡纳市 |
| [18:25] | That’s great. | 太会说笑了 |
| [18:27] | Uh, I’m actually from a small town outside Manchester. | 其实我来自曼彻斯特周边的一座小城 |
| [18:30] | England. | 在英格兰 |
| [18:31] | Oh, Jimmy, you are just too much. | 吉米 你真是太棒了 |
| [18:33] | Ah, that is great stuff. | 确实很棒 |
| [18:34] | So, Jimmy, are you in a good place right now? | 吉米 你最近还好吗 |
| [18:39] | Yes. | 好啊 |
| [18:39] | Even with the recent death of your father? | 即便你父亲最近刚去世 |
| [18:42] | Oh, yeah. It gets real in the man cave. | 没错 男人窝采访起来是不留情面的 |
| [18:44] | He made Adam pally cry. | 他曾让亚当·裴利落泪 |
| [18:46] | That guy’s got some stuff. | 那家伙真是有料 |
| [18:48] | Dra-ma! | 抓马 |
| [18:52] | Well, we had a memorial service the other day. | 前几天我们办了个追悼会 |
| [18:54] | That helped me get some closure. | 算是帮我做了一点了结吧 |
| [18:57] | And why was closure important? | 为什么了结这么重要 |
| [19:01] | well, I guess my role in the family | 我觉得我在我们家所扮演的角色 |
| [19:03] | was basically to annoy him, so… | 基本就是惹火他 所以…. |
| [19:05] | So you could get the attention you wouldn’t otherwise get. | 所以你才能得到你原本无法获得的关注 |
| [19:08] | Is that why you moved to L.A., became a writer? | 那是你搬到洛城 成为作家的原因吗 |
| [19:10] | Had your nipple pierced for two weeks, | 你还在你乳头上穿了两周的环 |
| [19:12] | or fostered that boa constrictor? | 甚至养大蟒蛇的原因吗 |
| [19:14] | Aw, Squeezy. | 对哦 小捏捏 |
| [19:15] | Sounds like quite the weight has been lifted off you, then. | 听起来你已经卸下心里的负担了啊 |
| [19:18] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [19:20] | Guess it sort of has. | 似乎的确如此 |
| [19:21] | So, what’s next for Jimmy? | 吉米 你接下来有什么打算 |
| [19:27] | I’ve been working on my new book. | 我在写新书 |
| [19:29] | Although, to be honest, | 虽然说实话 |
| [19:30] | I haven’t been getting much writing done lately. | 我最近压根没写多少字 |
| [19:32] | But I thought you only became a writer to piss off your dad. | 但我以为你成为作家只是为了气你爸 |
| [19:36] | Yes, I did become a writer to make him angry. | 没错 我当作家确实是为了惹他生气 |
| [19:38] | So, if he’s gone, | 那么现在他已经不在了 |
| [19:40] | why are you still living your life in reaction to him? | 你为什么还要按照和他对立的方式度过自己的人生 |
| [19:43] | So, if I’m not writing, | 那么 如果我不再写作了 |
| [19:45] | because I have no one to write against anymore… | 因为我没人可气了 |
| [19:50] | Who am I? | 那么我是谁 |
| [19:51] | – That’s what I’m saying. – That’s what he’s saying. | -我就是这意思 -他就是这意思 |
| [19:53] | Insight. | 洞察力啊 |
| [19:55] | I can start over now. | 我现在可以重新开始了 |
| [19:57] | Not in reaction to anyone, | 不是为了气某个人 |
| [19:59] | But in accordance to my authentic self, | 而是可以顺应真实的自我 |
| [20:02] | whomever I was meant to be! | 我想成为什么样的人都可以 |
| [20:04] | Oh, my god! | 天啊 |
| [20:06] | What if what I was actually meant to do is… | 如果我注定要成就的事业是… |
| [20:08] | I’m gonna stop you right there. Got to pay some bills. Bec? | 我得打住你了 要接点广告支付费用 贝卡 |
| [20:11] | This week’s Vernon Down the House | 本期的《弗南闲话》节目 |
| [20:14] | is exclusively sponsored by Red Napkin. | 是由红餐巾独家赞助的 |
| [20:16] | Guys, I love Red Napkin, for so many reasons. | 各位 我真的好爱红餐巾 理由太多了 |
| [20:20] | You know how sometimes you want a za’atar-spiced fennel stromboli, | 你们都知道有时候会很想吃中东香料料理馅饼 |
| [20:22] | but you don’t want to leave the house? | 但你却不想出门去买 |
| [20:34] | Hey, hon, you hungry? | 亲爱的 你饿了吗 |
| [20:35] | Don’t “Hon” Me! | 别叫我亲爱的 |
| [20:37] | Look at what you did. | 看看你都干了什么好事 |
| [20:40] | Those numbers don’t lie! | 这些数字是不会说谎的 |
| [20:42] | You know what else doesn’t lie? | 你们知道还有什么不会撒谎吗 |
| [20:44] | War heroes! | 战争英雄 |
| [20:46] | My name is Edgar Quintero, 6th battalion, 8th infantry. | 我叫埃德加·坤塔罗 隶属第6营第8步兵团 |
| [20:49] | Smoking pot fixed my ptsd. | 抽大麻治好了我的创伤后应激障碍 |
| [20:52] | The V.A…. expects all of us…to shut the hell up. | 老兵事务处 希望我们 都闭嘴 |
| [20:55] | Marijuana works for everyone. | 大麻适合每个人 |
| [20:57] | People are literally dying | 真的有很多人死了 |
| [21:00] | Because they can’t get marijuana. | 就因为他们得不到大麻 |
| [21:01] | People literally… Dying. | 真的有很多人死了 |
| [21:03] | They’re… Dying. People… Are dying. | 他们 死了 真的有很多人死了 |
| [21:11] | You got me in with the pot people. | 你把我和那些大麻党搞在一起了 |
| [21:13] | They’re the worst people. | 他们是最糟糕的人 |
| [21:15] | Worse than people who study abroad or atheists or… | 比那些出国留学的人或无神论者还要糟糕 |
| [21:17] | Ooh, what about children of celebrities | 那那些星二代呢 |
| [21:19] | who pretend that it didn’t help their careers. | 他们都假装大麻对他们的事业没有帮助 |
| [21:20] | These pot activists leech off of people with legitimate problems | 那些大麻激进分子从真正有问题的人身上吸血啊 |
| [21:25] | In order to further their agenda, | 就为了推进他们的目标 |
| [21:26] | Which is just getting high! | 而他们的目标就是获得快感 |
| [21:28] | Why did you make me do this?! | 你为什么要让我做这种事 |
| [21:29] | I was looking out for your best interests. | 我是为你的最大利益考虑 |
| [21:31] | Yeah, well, I’m done with Dr. Weed. | 好吧 我再也不会靠大麻来治疗了 |
| [21:34] | If I quit every time my mother pushed me to do something hard, | 如果我妈每次逼我做很难的事 我都甩手不干 |
| [21:36] | I wouldn’t have… I-I… | 我就不会…我… |
| [21:38] | Okay, well, I guess I did quit eventually | 好吧 我后来好像的确是甩手不干了 |
| [21:40] | To start doing drugs and having unprotected sex with college boys. | 去吸毒 和大学生无套做爱 |
| [21:43] | But the point… | 但重点是… |
| [21:45] | No! No more advice! | 够了 别再给我建议了 |
| [21:47] | I hate you. | 我讨厌你 |
| [21:49] | I was trying to help you fill your… | 我只是想帮你… |
| [21:53] | Look what I made! I went to kinko’s. | 瞧瞧我做了什么 我去了金考快印店 |
| [21:56] | Talked to some undergrads making a ‘zine. | 跟一些正在做图文编辑的大学生聊了聊 |
| [21:57] | It’s a lovely place. Anyway, turns out | 那真是个好地方 总之 我发现 |
| [21:59] | I’ve been living my entire life in opposition to my father. | 我一直在按照和我爸对立的方式来过我的人生 |
| [22:02] | And now that he’s dead, I have no idea who I really am. | 现在他死了 我就搞不清自己是谁了 |
| [22:05] | Am I even a writer? Who knows? | 我是个作家吗 谁知道呢 |
| [22:07] | Maybe I’m meant to be a master carpenter, | 或许我的真正使命是成为木匠大师 |
| [22:08] | Slash tree house architect, slash singer-songwriter. | 兼树屋建筑师 兼歌手-词曲作家 |
| [22:11] | Anyways, although my zoo animals are likely dead | 总之 尽快我的动物们很可能都死了 |
| [22:14] | Or escaped, I’d like to thank you for taking that router | 或是逃跑了 我还是想感谢你收走路由器 |
| [22:17] | And forcing me to explore the world. | 并强迫我探索这个世界 |
| [22:19] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [22:20] | I’m gonna go into the backyard | 我先去后院了 |
| [22:21] | and test some branches for load-bearing capacity. | 测试下某些树枝的载重能力 |
| [22:33] | 保罗=地板虫 需要堕胎 速来 在玛丽·卡伦德餐厅见行吗 | |
| [22:45] | Oh, sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [22:47] | Look… Jesus christ. | 当心点 天啊 |
| [22:49] | Ugh, what is that?! What… | 那是什么鬼东西 天啊 |
| [22:52] | Order mozzarella sticks like a person. | 像正常人一样点奶酪棒吃啊 |
| [22:55] | Anyway, I-I don’t want you to cream your jeans or anything | 总之 我也不希望你把奶酪弄到牛仔裤上 |
| [22:58] | ’cause I know they’re your only pair, | 因为我知道你就这么一条 |
| [22:59] | But maybe my mom wasn’t so great. | 但或许我妈没那么好 |
| [23:01] | Seriously? What, did you hack my e-mail? | 不是吧你 你竟然黑了我的邮件吗 |
| [23:02] | I mean, the pressure made me rad, | 那巨大的压力让我狂暴 |
| [23:04] | But have you ever slept with no sheets? | 但你睡过没有床单的床吗 |
| [23:06] | So scratchy. | 真的好痒 |
| [23:08] | Five out of ten. Would bang. | 满分十分打5分 可以上床 |
| [23:10] | Yup, that’s her. | 没错 就是她 |
| [23:10] | Actually, That was the first time I fell into a depression. | 实际上 那是我第一次抑郁 |
| [23:15] | it was after a tennis match and I had won, | 那是在一次网球赛后 我打赢了 |
| [23:18] | But not by enough, ’cause it was never enough. | 但比分差距拉得不够大 永远都是不够好 |
| [23:21] | And my mom was doing this… this food withholding thing. | 我妈就 不给我吃饭 |
| [23:26] | I think she saw something about it on a tv show | 我觉得那好像是她在电视上看到的妙招 |
| [23:28] | as a way to control your dog or something. | 是一种控制狗狗的方法什么的 |