| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | When you think about it, aren’t we all special needs? | 仔细想想看 我们不是都有特殊需求吗 |
| [00:04] | I mean, we have this set of ways we want to be treated, right? | 我们都有自己希望被对待的方式 不是吗 |
| [00:07] | But the question is, is it real | 但问题是 那是真实的 |
| [00:09] | or is it just a reaction to life | 还是只是因为生活总是让我们失望 |
| [00:10] | constantly disappointing us? | 所以产生了这样的反应 |
| [00:12] | Of course, we blame those who are closest to us for our misery, | 当然 我们将自身的不幸归咎到最亲近的人身上 |
| [00:15] | instead of taking responsibility for being unsatisfiable dick nuggets. | 而非为自己不知足的混帐行为承担起责任 |
| [00:19] | We say, “Hey there, person I love, | 我们经常说 “你好啊 我爱的人 |
| [00:22] | I’m unhappy, so clearly you’re failing me.” | 我不开心 显然是因为你让我失望了” |
| [00:25] | My wife is miserable, | 我妻子就活得很辛苦 |
| [00:27] | and instead of dealing with her own malfunction, | 但她没有去应对自己的问题 |
| [00:30] | she fixates on some minor financial trouble I had. | 而是来关注我小小的财政问题 |
| [00:34] | So not only am I now not allowed to spend more than 25 bucks | 所以现在我都不被允许花25美元以上的钱 |
| [00:37] | on anything fun, | 用于娱乐 |
| [00:38] | she requires me to haggle for everything. | 她还要求我买什么都还个价 |
| [00:41] | I’m a happy dude. | 我是个快乐的男人 |
| [00:42] | But Bec, she’s this angry bee swarm. | 但贝卡 她就是个愤怒的蜂群 |
| [00:45] | And instead of actually pollinating some goddamn flowers, | 她不去给那些该死的花授粉 |
| [00:48] | she finds me enjoying life | 当她发现我在享受生活 |
| [00:50] | and knows she can’t have that. | 并知道她没办法去享受 |
| [00:51] | So, buzz! Sting! | 就跑来蜇我 |
| [00:53] | Anyway, so how ’bout $40? | 总之 40块怎么样 |
| [00:55] | It’s $60. | 一口价60块 |
| [00:56] | Had to try. | 我必须试试 |
| [01:03] | You guys sure came a long way for a bassinet. | 你们就为买个摇篮 跑得可真够远的 |
| [01:04] | – My glasses! – Oh, when Bec wants something… | -我的眼镜 -贝卡想要 千万里也得跑 |
| [01:07] | Doing good, bud! | 表现不错 兄弟 |
| [01:08] | I broke my glasses! | 我把眼镜弄碎了 |
| [01:12] | When’s the baby due? | 预产期什么时候 |
| [01:13] | I forget. Whenever. | 我忘了 随便吧 |
| [01:15] | Hey, shoot me a text | 对了 给我发条短信 |
| [01:16] | confirming that I tried to haggle with you. | 证明我真的试图还过价 |
| [01:19] | Shotgun! | 副驾位 |
| [01:20] | I called shotgun! | 我要坐副驾驶位 |
| [01:22] | – I’m driving. – So what? | -我开车啊 -所以呢 |
| [01:23] | I still get shotgun! | 副驾驶位还是我的 |
| [01:53] | You’re listening to Folio. | 您正在收听弗里欧电台 |
| [01:55] | I’m Steve Cornelia. | 我是斯蒂夫·科尼利亚 |
| [01:57] | Up next, we’ll talk to the ambrosial Jay Becanerny. | 接下来 我们将与伟大的杰·巴克纳尼对话 |
| [02:01] | I’ve known Jay since we were both fact-checkers at the New Yorker. | 我们还在《纽约客》做核查员时就认识了 |
| [02:05] | The year, I shall not reveal, | 具体是哪年我就不说了 |
| [02:07] | but suffice it to say that we each carried… | 但可以说 我们都… |
| [02:15] | Well, I have to say we’ve made good time. | 我必须说我们这一趟开得很快 |
| [02:18] | I believe we’ll be at my estimate home by 25 minutes or so. | 我估计再过25分钟就到我家了 |
| [02:22] | Road trip bonus time. | 公路旅行盈余时间 |
| [02:23] | Let’s do a bunch of fun shit. | 我们来做一堆有趣的事吧 |
| [02:24] | First we got to get a blizzard. | 首先我们得尝尝”暴风雪” |
| [02:26] | You put some rum in it, you call it a rizzard. | 往里面加些朗姆酒 就成了”朗风雪” |
| [02:28] | If you put gin in it, gizzard. | 往里面加杜松子酒 是”杜风雪” |
| [02:31] | Put wine in it, it’s a wizard. | 加红酒 就是”红风雪”[巫师] |
| [02:34] | Yes! See? | 没错 瞧吧 |
| [02:35] | This is what it’s all about, | 就是该这样才对 |
| [02:36] | family hang, making mad jokes, dicking around. | 家人聚在一起 开开玩笑 到处耍耍 |
| [02:40] | So boss. I love it, I really do. | 超赞 我喜欢这样 真的 |
| [02:44] | ♪At a Tombstone bar ♪ | ♪在汤姆斯通酒吧♪ |
| [02:45] | ♪In a juke joint car ♪ | ♪一辆酒吧车那里♪ |
| [02:47] | ♪He made a stop ♪ | ♪他停下啦♪ |
| [02:51] | ♪Just long enough ♪ | ♪停的时间刚好♪ |
| [02:52] | ♪To grab a handle off the top ♪ | ♪够他从酒柜上拿下一瓶酒♪ |
| [02:58] | ♪Next stop Chi Town ♪ | ♪下一站是芝加哥♪ |
| [03:00] | ♪Lido, put the money down ♪ | ♪利多 快付钱♪ |
| [03:02] | ♪Let it roll ♪ | ♪喝个痛快吧♪ |
| [03:04] | ♪He said one more hit ought to do it ♪ | ♪他说再来一次 应该就足够♪ |
| [03:08] | ♪This joint ♪ | ♪这根大麻♪ |
| [03:10] | ♪Ain’t nothing to it ♪ | ♪算个屁啊♪ |
| [03:14] | -♪One for the road ♪- Stop. | -♪来一杯留待路上♪ -打住 |
| [03:19] | ♪Lido ♪ | ♪利多♪ |
| [03:25] | ♪He said one more♪ | ♪他说再喝一杯♪ |
| [03:27] | ♪For ♪ | ♪一切♪ |
| [03:29] | ♪The road ♪ | ♪留待路上♪ |
| [03:34] | Scaggs, check it. | 斯卡格斯 听着 |
| [03:44] | I did a list of cool road trip stuff. | 我列了一张适合公路旅行的好玩物品 |
| [03:46] | Check it. | 快看 |
| [03:46] | Strawberry patch, Pea Soup Andersens. | 草莓片 安德森豌豆汤 |
| [03:48] | You got to get some pea soup. | 你得买些豌豆汤 |
| [03:50] | Michael Penn is playing at the Morongo. | 迈克尔·潘今天在摩朗格赌场有演出 |
| [03:52] | I promised Lindsay I’d be home in two hours and 12 minutes. | 我向琳赛保证过 我会在2小时12分钟内到家 |
| [03:58] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [04:00] | I’ll get the gas. | 我去加油 |
| [04:01] | Thanks. I’ll get provisions. | 谢了 我去买东西 |
| [04:03] | Get some Mambas and some Red Vines. | 买点糖块 扭扭糖 |
| [04:06] | and some Blammos, whatever flavor. | 再买点多层卷心饼 随便什么口味的 |
| [04:08] | But make sure it’s something really messed up. | 但一定要买够劲爆的重口味 |
| [04:16] | Oh snap, free blue paper towels. | 棒 免费的纸巾 |
| [04:24] | Cool look, Corey Hart, | 挺酷啊 科瑞·哈特 |
| [04:25] | singer of “I Wear My Sunglasses at Night.” | 唱《夜戴墨镜》的歌手 |
| [04:28] | They’re prescription. | 我这是处方眼镜 |
| [04:30] | – Shh. – What? | -别说话 -怎么了 |
| [04:31] | Hello, my love. | 你好 亲爱的 |
| [04:33] | You’re on speaker phone. | 我把你开免提了 |
| [04:35] | No, I’m not, my ear’s on the thing. | 我没开 我在用耳朵贴着听 |
| [04:38] | We’ve successfully picked up the bassinet. | 我们成功地买到了摇篮 |
| [04:40] | We should be home in the next two hours or so. | 大概两个小时左右就到家了 |
| [04:43] | You’re not here? | 你不在家吗 |
| [04:45] | What? | 什么 |
| [04:47] | No. | 不在啊 |
| [04:48] | Don’t forget, Raul is coming at 7:00. | 别忘了 拉乌7点要来 |
| [04:51] | That’s tonight? | 是今晚吗 |
| [04:53] | Can you postpone? | 你能推迟一下吗 |
| [04:54] | Can you pick up some lube, | 你能买点润滑剂 |
| [04:55] | – diet sun… – Lindsay? | -减肥… -琳赛 |
| [04:58] | Call Lindsay. | 打给琳赛 |
| [05:00] | I found Lind Ski Resort nearby. | “附近找到琳德滑雪胜地” |
| [05:02] | Call Lindsay. | 打给琳赛 |
| [05:05] | Dang it. Damn, damn! | 该死的 我靠 我靠 |
| [05:08] | – What? Don’t! – Stop it. | -什么 不要 -不要这样 |
| [05:10] | No. | 不 |
| [05:13] | – Cut it out. – Vernon, it’s stalling. | -别闹了 -弗南 车熄火了 |
| [05:20] | Great. Nice job, fa… | 很好 干得漂亮 肥… |
| [05:24] | I swear you can taste each individual flavor | 我发誓你可以在这种7层料卷心饼里 |
| [05:27] | in these seven-layer dip Blammos. | 尝出7种单独的口味 |
| [05:29] | How do they do that? | 怎么做到的 |
| [05:34] | One, beans. | 1 豌豆 |
| [05:35] | Two, cheese. | 2 奶酪 |
| [05:36] | Three, guac. | 3 鳄梨酱 |
| [05:37] | Four, sour cream. | 4 酸奶油 |
| [05:39] | Five, salsa. | 5 甜辣酱 |
| [05:41] | Six, black olives. | 6 黑橄榄 |
| [05:42] | You sure you don’t have a signal? | 你确定你没信号吗 |
| [05:44] | What’s the seventh layer in a seven-layer dip? | 7层料的第7种口味是什么来着 |
| [05:47] | Why can’t I remember? | 我怎么记不起来了 |
| [05:48] | Come on, brain. | 加把劲 大脑 |
| [05:50] | Aw, man. | 天啊 |
| [05:52] | Now I’ll never figure out what the seventh layer is. | 这下我再也想不出第7种口味了 |
| [05:54] | What’s the seventh? | 第7种是什么 |
| [05:56] | This is a disaster. | 简直是个灾难 |
| [06:00] | All right, if you could live anywhere in the world, | 好了 假如你可以生活在世界任何地方 |
| [06:02] | where would it be? Go. | 你会选哪里 说 |
| [06:04] | Where would you live? | 你会生活在哪里 |
| [06:05] | Go. | 说 |
| [06:06] | Paul, go. | 保罗 说 |
| [06:08] | I don’t feel like playing games right now. | 我现在没心情玩游戏 |
| [06:13] | What are you doing anyway? | 你这又是在干什么 |
| [06:14] | What’s it look like, idiot? | 这还看不出吗 白痴 |
| [06:16] | I’m messing with these ants. | 我在戏弄这些蚂蚁 |
| [06:17] | Would you help me? | 你就不能帮帮我吗 |
| [06:19] | With what? | 帮你什么 |
| [06:20] | We have no cell. | 我们没手机 |
| [06:21] | No one’s coming by. | 也没有人经过 |
| [06:23] | You’re not doing jack. | 你也什么都没干啊 |
| [06:26] | No, man. | 不好 |
| [06:28] | I’m thirsty. | 我渴了 |
| [06:29] | I ate too many Blammos and I spat on these ants too much. | 我吃了太多卷心饼 又对蚂蚁吐了太多口水 |
| [06:31] | You got any water? I drank all my sodas. | 你有水吗 我的汽水都喝完了 |
| [06:33] | No. | 没有 |
| [06:36] | I hear a creek. | 我听到小溪声了 |
| [06:37] | You can’t drink creek water. It’s not safe. | 你不能喝溪水 那不安全 |
| [06:39] | Nah, I can’t get sick. | 不 我不会得病的 |
| [06:40] | To build my immune system, | 为了强化免疫系统 |
| [06:42] | I lick weird stuff at the hospital all the time. | 我在医院经常舔些奇怪的东西 |
| [06:45] | In surg, they say scrub up, | 在手术时 他们都洗手消毒 |
| [06:47] | I just fake go through the motions. | 我只是假装比划一下 |
| [06:49] | Come on. | 走吧 |
| [06:50] | That’s to protect the patients. | 那是为了保护病人 |
| [06:52] | Agree to disagree. | 求同存异吧 |
| [07:08] | How’d they get so mean? | 她们怎么会那么坏 |
| [07:09] | Both of them. | 两姐妹都是 |
| [07:11] | Mean-ass sisters. | 坏蛋姐妹 |
| [07:12] | We goofed, Paul. | 我们犯了大错 保罗 |
| [07:13] | We married a couple of straight meanies. | 我们娶了一对心狠手辣的婆娘 |
| [07:16] | My family growing up was problematic too. | 我从小到大家里也问题颇多 |
| [07:19] | Is that right? | 是吗 |
| [07:20] | I just said it was. | 我刚说了的 |
| [07:22] | Yeah, my parents never bonded with me | 没错 我父母对我一直都不亲 |
| [07:24] | on account I was born dead. | 因为我出生时是死婴 |
| [07:26] | So, emotionally, they already buried their son, | 所以情感上他们认为儿子已经死了 |
| [07:28] | but then oh, shit, dude’s alive. | 然后突然发现 这家伙还活着 |
| [07:31] | Your parents suck too? | 你的父母也很糟糕吗 |
| [07:33] | No. | 不 |
| [07:34] | They were quite advanced in years by the time I came around. | 我出生的时候他们年事已高了 |
| [07:37] | My siblings were already out of college. | 我的兄长们都大学毕业了 |
| [07:39] | My nephew though, he’s six years older than me. | 不过我的侄子比我大6岁 |
| [07:41] | He was like a father to me. | 他对我来说就像父亲一样 |
| [07:43] | He taught me a love of the natural world. | 他培养了我对大自然的热爱 |
| [07:47] | My nephew gave me my first beer. | 我第一次喝酒 就是我侄子教的 |
| [07:50] | Can you imagine that? | 你能想象吗 |
| [07:54] | Father was a kind soul, | 我父亲人很好 |
| [07:55] | but he just wanted to sit quietly and rest his eyes. | 但他只愿静坐着 闭目养神 |
| [08:00] | Anyway, that’s why I’m so excited to be a young father. | 正因此 我年纪轻轻就当父亲才会这么激动 |
| [08:04] | What? You’re like 50. | 什么 你都要50岁了 |
| [08:06] | I’m 35. | 我才35 |
| [08:07] | No. No way you’re younger than me. | 不 你不可能比我年轻 |
| [08:10] | But I am. | 但我就是 |
| [08:12] | No way. That’s insane. | 不可能 那太扯了 |
| [08:13] | Ask anyone. That is crazy. | 不信你随便找人问问 太扯了 |
| [08:15] | Look at you. You’re insane. | 看看你 你疯了 |
| [08:16] | I’m five years younger than you are. | 我比你年轻整整5岁 |
| [08:18] | Yeah, okay. Whatever. | 好吧 随你怎么说 |
| [08:19] | Impossible. | 根本不可能 |
| [08:22] | Yes! | 太好了 |
| [08:24] | Water skeeters, | 水黾们 |
| [08:27] | I’m-a spit at you! | 我要对你们吐口水了 |
| [08:31] | Oh, my. | 天啊 |
| [08:33] | I think that… | 我觉得那是… |
| [08:35] | Yes! | 没错 |
| [08:36] | Vernon, | 弗南 |
| [08:37] | it’s a Squant-Billed Bushtit! | 是一只短嘴山雀 |
| [08:39] | A what? | 一只什么 |
| [08:39] | A Squant-Billed Bushtit! | 短嘴山雀啊 |
| [08:41] | Oh, man. I can’t even. | 我的天啊 真令人无语 |
| [08:42] | Oh, look at him. | 看看它啊 |
| [08:45] | It’s rare to see a male calling out of mating season. | 雄鸟在非交配季节鸣叫是很难得一见的 |
| [08:48] | You see, once a male mates, he falls silent. | 一旦雄鸟交配过后 它就沉默了 |
| [08:50] | He spends all his time tending to his mate and her chicks. | 它把所有的时间都用来照顾它的配偶和雏鸟 |
| [08:54] | Eventually, mute and unneeded, | 最终它会变成无用的哑巴 |
| [08:56] | he jumps from the tree and does not fly. | 它会从树上跳下来 不再飞翔 |
| [08:59] | You’re harshing my swim. | 我游泳的兴致都被你毁了 |
| [09:00] | Boy, he would’ve been a good find. | 天啊 它本该是个大发现的 |
| [09:04] | Except I gave up my big year | 但很可惜我放弃了观鸟大年 |
| [09:07] | because of my unfortunate knife accident. | 因为我不幸被刀捅伤 |
| [09:11] | Are you done? | 你好了没有 |
| [09:12] | Yeah, I guess so. I’m pretty full. | 我看差不多了 我喝得够饱了 |
| [09:15] | Which way back? | 从哪条路回去 |
| [09:20] | That way. | 那条路 |
| [09:25] | Don’t throw pinecones at me. | 别朝我扔松果 |
| [09:27] | You got us lost. | 是你害我们迷路的 |
| [09:28] | You’re lucky I’m only throwing pinecones, shitlord. | 我只扔松果算你走运了 你个屎人 |
| [09:39] | Can you just admit that we’ve been walking around in circles? | 你就不能承认我们在绕圈子吗 |
| [09:42] | I’ve become too reliant on apps in recent years. | 我最近几年变得太依赖手机应用了 |
| [09:46] | Uncle Nephew taught me solar location. | 我侄子叔教过我太阳影子定位法 |
| [09:48] | He’d put me on his lap and point to the sun and say, | 他将我抱到他的腿上 指着太阳对我说 |
| [09:52] | “That’s the only tool you’ll ever need | “那是你唯一需要的工具 |
| [09:54] | to get where you want to go.” | 它会指引你去你想去的地方” |
| [09:56] | Normally, I’d slap the shit out of you for talking like that, | 通常 你敢这么说话 我肯定扇死你丫的 |
| [09:58] | but I am having fun. | 但我现在玩得很开心 |
| [10:06] | Come on! | 快来 |
| [10:07] | We’re men… | 我们是男人 |
| [10:08] | …out in nature, | 身在大自然 |
| [10:10] | away from the sisters Cottumaccio. | 远离那对科特马奇奥姐妹 |
| [10:14] | What a sonically displeasing last name. | 那个破姓氏的发音太难听了 |
| [10:16] | Isn’t it? They’re lucky to take our dope-ass names. | 是吧 能从了我们的酷姓算她们走运 |
| [10:19] | Now, shh. | 别出声 |
| [10:21] | I have to concentrate. | 我得集中精神 |
| [10:23] | As it is, I’m going to be terribly late to get home to Lindsay. | 看来我要很晚很晚才能回家见琳赛了 |
| [10:26] | And Raul. | 还有拉乌 |
| [10:28] | – What? – She said Raul was coming over. | -什么 -她说拉乌要来 |
| [10:29] | Who’s Raul? | 拉乌是谁 |
| [10:32] | No one. | 没谁 |
| [10:33] | TV repairman. | 修电视的 |
| [10:35] | Now, come on. | 快来吧 |
| [10:37] | This way. | 这边走 |
| [10:40] | Is the seventh layer corn chips? | 第七层味道是玉米片吗 |
| [10:43] | Nah, that doesn’t count, damn it. | 不 那不算 该死 |
| [10:56] | We should bunker down for the night. | 我们应该扎营过夜 |
| [10:57] | No, we can make it. | 不 我们能赶回去的 |
| [10:59] | Even if we knew which direction to go in, | 就算我们知道该往哪个方向走 |
| [11:01] | which we don’t, | 事实上我们并不知道 |
| [11:02] | ’cause your gross adult nephew | 因为你恶心的成年侄子 |
| [11:04] | clearly just put you on his lap | 把你抱上他的大腿 |
| [11:05] | so he could rub his dick on your butt. | 显然只是为了能在你的屁股上蹭屌 |
| [11:08] | It’s gonna be dark soon. | 马上就要天黑了 |
| [11:09] | We have to make it! | 我们必须赶回去 |
| [11:10] | We have to build a fire, Paul. | 我们必须生火 保罗 |
| [11:13] | I saw The Grey. | 我看过《人狼大战》 |
| [11:14] | I’m not bottle-fighting no woofs. | 我可不要用酒瓶子和狼血拼 |
| [11:29] | Now I’m not gonna be there for… | 现在我赶不上他们那什么了 |
| [11:33] | This is bad. | 这太糟糕了 |
| [11:34] | This is very, very bad. | 实在太糟糕太糟糕了 |
| [11:40] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [11:44] | We got a lot of work to do. | 我们有很多事要做 |
| [11:46] | I’m gonna build a pit trap and catch some varmints. | 我来做个陷阱 抓点有害动物 |
| [11:48] | Whatever. | 随便吧 |
| [11:50] | I’ll build a fire. | 我生个火 |
| [11:51] | Shoot. | 该死 |
| [11:53] | This ground is pretty moist. | 这片土地太潮湿了 |
| [11:55] | It’s going to make finding accelerant difficult. | 会很难找到生火材料的 |
| [12:08] | ♪I am a doctor♪ | ♪我是个医生♪ |
| [12:12] | ♪I go snip snip♪ | ♪我会开刀♪ |
| [12:15] | ♪I rock that body♪ | ♪我在人身上妙手回春♪ |
| [12:19] | ♪or replace that hip♪ | ♪或者给人换个臀♪ |
| [12:24] | Now your turn. | 轮到你了 |
| [12:24] | Come on, it’s easy. Just — | 来吧 很容易的 你只要 |
| [12:26] | just sing your truth. | 只要唱出你的真实情况就好 |
| [12:33] | ♪My name is Paul♪ | ♪我叫保罗♪ |
| [12:37] | ♪I am a human♪ | ♪我是个人♪ |
| [12:40] | ♪I’m Vice President of Wealth Management and Investment Strategies♪ | ♪我是财富管理与投资策略协会的副主席♪ |
| [12:45] | ♪Again my name’s Paul♪ | ♪再说一次 我叫保罗♪ |
| [12:54] | See, the blues is easy. | 瞧 布鲁斯节奏很容易嘛 |
| [12:56] | I am so hungry. | 我饿死了 |
| [12:57] | We got to get some food. I think I’m gonna die. | 我们得找点东西吃 我觉得我要饿死了 |
| [13:02] | Oh, great. | 这下好了 |
| [13:04] | My IBS is flaring up. | 我的肠道易激综合征犯了 |
| [13:07] | Oh, okay, this is quite dire. | 好吧 还挺严重的 |
| [13:09] | I bet you’re regretting making me burn all those sweet paper towels. | 我猜你后悔让我烧光那些纸巾了吧 |
| [13:13] | Here. It’s a receipt for gas. | 给你 这是加油站的收据 |
| [13:15] | Hope your poop’s small. | 希望你的屎小条一点 |
| [13:16] | Stay away from my pit trap. | 别踩到我的陷阱 |
| [13:17] | Don’t want you scaring any future food. | 我可不希望你把可能出现的食物吓跑 |
| [13:22] | ♪Paul’s going to poop♪ | ♪保罗要去拉屎了♪ |
| [13:25] | ♪That cough could be croup♪ | ♪他咳那一声可能是喉炎♪ |
| [13:29] | ♪Salt and pepper same shoe♪ | ♪盐和胡椒牌的鞋♪ |
| [13:32] | ♪My wife Bec is a stu♪ | ♪我老婆贝卡是傻逼♪ |
| [13:45] | You sabotaged my car! | 你故意搞坏了我的车 |
| [13:50] | No! | 不 |
| [13:51] | I’m saying you sabotaged my car! | 我说你故意搞坏了我的车 |
| [13:54] | You put diesel in the tank! | 你往油箱里加的是柴油 |
| [14:00] | What’s funny? | 有什么好笑的 |
| [14:01] | You didn’t wipe your butt. | 你没擦屁股 |
| [14:02] | Gas was $3.27. | 汽油每加仑3.27块 |
| [14:04] | My car takes 18 gallons, max. | 我的车最多可以加18加仑 |
| [14:07] | Total price should be, at most, $58.86. | 总价最多是58.86块 |
| [14:11] | Your total was $64.39! | 你总共花了64.39块 |
| [14:14] | The only way that’s mathematically possible | 这样算起来只有一种可能 |
| [14:17] | is if you put diesel in the tank! | 就是你在油箱里加的是柴油 |
| [14:19] | Fine! | 好吧 |
| [14:20] | Yeah, I put diesel in your dumb tank! | 没错 我是在你的傻逼油箱里加了柴油 |
| [14:22] | So what? I panicked. | 那又怎么样 我慌了手脚 |
| [14:24] | I don’t want to go home. | 我不想回家 |
| [14:25] | This is, like, my last chance to get out of my house | 这是我离开家的最后的机会 |
| [14:28] | and you’re trying to end it. | 而你一直要终结这次机会 |
| [14:29] | Why did I agree to come help you? | 我为什么要同意来帮你 |
| [14:32] | You and Becca are bad people. | 你和贝卡都不是好人 |
| [14:34] | We’re bad people? | 我们不是好人 |
| [14:35] | Your wife stabbed you. | 你老婆捅了你 |
| [14:38] | I backed into the knife. | 是我自己碰到刀上的 |
| [14:40] | Why was she holding it directly at you, then, huh? | 那她为什么拿刀直接对着你呢 |
| [14:43] | Face it, she tried to murder you. | 面对现实吧 她想谋杀你 |
| [14:45] | You shut up, Vernon! | 你给我闭嘴 弗南 |
| [14:47] | You shut up right now! | 立刻给我闭嘴 |
| [14:48] | You shut up, Rumpleforeskin! | 你才闭嘴呢 大傻屌 |
| [14:50] | I hate you! Your sunglasses look so stupid! | 我讨厌你 你的太阳镜看上去特别傻逼 |
| [14:52] | You’re not cool at all! | 你一点都不酷 |
| [14:58] | – You’re going to die out here, Vernon! – You’re worthless! | -这就是你的葬身之地 弗南 -你这废物 |
| [15:00] | – I will see to that! – You suck at everything! You’re gonna die! | -我要弄死你 -你一事无成 你去死吧 |
| [15:02] | I’m strong! I’m a strong man! | 我很强壮 我是个强壮的人 |
| [15:04] | I’ve killed so many people, Paul! | 我已经杀了那么多人了 保罗 |
| [15:05] | I’m not afraid of it! | 我可不怕杀人 |
| [15:06] | I am going to throw you off this mountain! | 我要把你从这山上扔下去 |
| [15:08] | I’m going to feed you to a bear! | 我要把你喂熊 |
| [15:10] | Not my hands! | 别打我的手 |
| [15:29] | Never thought squirrel could be so delicious. | 从没想过松鼠会这么好吃 |
| [15:31] | Nuts are high in protein and fat. | 坚果富含蛋白质和脂肪 |
| [15:33] | Makes for tender flesh. | 所以松鼠肉质才这么嫩 |
| [15:36] | People forget I’m a doctor and I know shit. | 大家都忘了我是位医生 我懂行的 |
| [15:39] | Check out his little squirrel dick. | 看它的松鼠屌 |
| [15:41] | You dare me to flick it? | 你猜我敢不敢舔 |
| [15:47] | I didn’t know we’d get lost. | 我不知道我们会迷路 |
| [15:48] | I was just trying to buy more time. | 我只是在争取更多的时间 |
| [15:50] | You don’t understand. | 你不明白 |
| [15:51] | It’s a nightmare over there. | 我家简直是个噩梦 |
| [15:52] | Becca makes me wear full pajamas | 贝卡让我穿全套睡衣 |
| [15:54] | so our skins don’t touch. | 那样我们的皮肤就不用接触了 |
| [15:56] | Lindsay may have stabbed me intentionally. | 琳赛可能是故意捅了我 |
| [15:58] | I only get 20% of the TiVo. | 我只能用电视录像机的20%空间 |
| [16:00] | And Becca’s always erasing my shows “Accidentally.” | 而且贝卡总是故意”不小心”删掉我的节目 |
| [16:02] | I missed all last season of The Librarians. | 我错过了上一季《图书管理员》的所有集 |
| [16:05] | Lindsay order takeout for one. | 琳赛只点一人份的外卖 |
| [16:06] | One time I took a French fry | 有一次我点了份炸薯条 |
| [16:08] | and she made me give her a dollar | 她还要我给她一块钱 |
| [16:09] | even though it was on my credit card. | 尽管刷的是我的信用卡 |
| [16:11] | Becca once held my head in the toilet for a minute | 有一回贝卡把我的头按在马桶里 |
| [16:13] | when I forgot to flush a duke. | 因为我忘了冲水 |
| [16:15] | – Lindsey’s cucking me. – Yeah, no kidding. | -琳赛在给我戴绿帽子 -别开玩笑了 |
| [16:17] | No, seriously. | 不 是真的 |
| [16:18] | That guy I mentioned earlier, Raul, | 我之前提到的那个人 拉乌 |
| [16:21] | he’s her bull. | 他是她的种马 |
| [16:24] | What? Whoa. | 什么 天啊 |
| [16:26] | What? So he porks her and you have to watch? | 什么 他操她的时候 你还得看着 |
| [16:30] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:31] | Damn, that’s crazy! | 该死的 那太疯狂了 |
| [16:33] | Jesus, why doesn’t anything cool ever happen to me? | 天呐 为什么我身上就没发生过很酷的事 |
| [16:37] | I was trying to be a good husband. | 我努力想做个好丈夫 |
| [16:40] | This is going to sound bonkers, | 虽然这听上去有点疯狂 |
| [16:42] | but why are we even going home? | 但是我们为什么还要回家呢 |
| [16:43] | We should drive straight to Mexico. | 我们应该直接开到墨西哥 |
| [16:46] | – There’s a thought. – No, I’m serious. | -倒也是个主意 -不 我是认真的 |
| [16:47] | We could just disappear, start a new life. | 我们可以直接消失 开启新的人生 |
| [16:50] | Things are cheaper down there, | 那里的东西也更便宜 |
| [16:51] | and I can find out what the seventh layer is. | 我还可以知道第七层到底是什么 |
| [16:53] | Seriously! We’re both clearly miserable. | 说真的 我们明显都活得太辛苦了 |
| [16:56] | What’s stopping us? | 有什么理由不那么做呢 |
| [16:57] | The impending children. | 即将出生的孩子 |
| [16:58] | No, that’s bullshit. | 不 那是胡说八道 |
| [17:00] | If a dad is miserable, | 如果父亲活得很辛苦 |
| [17:01] | he’s no good for his kid. | 他对孩子也没什么好处 |
| [17:03] | Look at Jimmy. He hated his dad so much, | 看看吉米 他那么讨厌他爸爸 |
| [17:05] | he’s actually happier now that he’s dead. | 父亲一死 他还更开心些 |
| [17:08] | Jimmy’s dad did seem to be quite a miserable person. | 吉米的爸爸看上去确实像个活得很辛苦的人 |
| [17:11] | Picture it– Casa Vernon y Paul. | 想象一下 弗南和保罗二人组 |
| [17:13] | Just the two of us eating shellfish | 就我们两个 吃着海鲜 |
| [17:16] | and drinking margaritas and wizards. | 喝着玛格丽塔酒和威士忌 |
| [17:18] | I could take bullets out of cartel members on the DL. | 我可以私下帮黑帮成员取子弹 |
| [17:21] | You can be their accountant or whatever. | 你可以做他们的会计什么的 |
| [17:23] | We only get one shot at this life, man. | 人一辈子只能活一次 老兄 |
| [17:26] | She is killing my spirit. | 她在扼杀我的灵魂 |
| [17:28] | This is our only chance. | 这是我们唯一的机会 |
| [17:30] | If we wait, it’s going to be too late. | 如果我们再等下去就太迟了 |
| [17:31] | I’m in. | 我加入 |
| [17:33] | Seriously? | 认真的吗 |
| [17:34] | Seriously. | 认真的 |
| [17:35] | I can’t go back to that house. | 我不能再回那个家了 |
| [17:37] | She doesn’t even let me self-stimulate anymore. | 她都不让我自慰了 |
| [17:40] | I don’t get to jack off either, not since Kasia. | 从卡莎那事以后 我也不能打飞机了 |
| [17:42] | Let’s reclaim it. | 让我们夺回主权 |
| [17:44] | Let’s jack off into the fire! | 我们对着火堆打飞机 |
| [17:45] | What? No. | 什么 不要 |
| [17:47] | We have to. | 我们必须这样 |
| [17:48] | We’re not allowed to masturbate! | 她们甚至都不允许我们手淫 |
| [17:50] | Come on, we gotta take back domain over ourselves! | 来吧 我们得夺回自己身体的主权 |
| [17:54] | And into the fire? That is so manly. | 而且对着火 多有男子气概啊 |
| [17:56] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [18:00] | But don’t look at me. | 不过你别偷看我 |
| [18:07] | Hell yeah! I bet no one’s ever done this before. | 太棒了 我敢说从来没人这么做过 |
| [18:10] | Hush. | 闭嘴 |
| [18:12] | What if it explodes? | 万一爆炸了怎么办 |
| [18:23] | Oh there it is. | 要出来了 |
| [18:36] | Oh, God. | 天啊 |
| [18:38] | Holy… | 我的天啊 |
| [18:40] | We just killed, like, a million of our babies. | 我们刚刚杀死了千百万的子孙 |
| [18:55] | I’ve been stuck! | 我被卡住了 |
| [19:22] | Wake up. | 醒醒 |
| [19:28] | My wound opened up. | 我的伤口裂开了 |
| [19:30] | I have trouble clotting | 我的血很难凝固 |
| [19:32] | because of my oblong platelets. | 因为我的血小板是长椭圆形的 |
| [19:36] | Uncle Nephew had the same ailment. | 侄子叔也患有同样的疾病 |
| [19:38] | I could close it with some sap and a hot stick. | 我可以用一些植物汁液和火棍帮你合上伤口 |
| [19:40] | We’ll get you hella painkillers when we get to Tijuana. | 等我们去了蒂华纳 就给你买一堆止疼药 |
| [19:43] | I can’t go with you. | 我不能跟你一起去了 |
| [19:45] | What? | 什么 |
| [19:46] | But Casa Vernon y Paul! | 说好的弗南和保罗二人组呢 |
| [19:48] | I want to be a father. | 我想成为一个父亲 |
| [19:50] | Last night, when I thought I was dying, | 昨晚 当我以为自己快要死了的时候 |
| [19:52] | all I thought about was | 我脑海中唯一想到的 |
| [19:53] | how I’d never meet my child. | 就是我永远见不到我的孩子了 |
| [19:56] | Watching how Jimmy’s father squandered his opportunity | 眼看着吉米的父亲浪费了他的机会 |
| [19:59] | and left Jimmy such a miserable person… | 让吉米成为这么一个活得很辛苦的人… |
| [20:02] | I can’t do that to my offspring. | 我不能这样对待我的后代 |
| [20:04] | Goddamn you, Paul. | 该死的 保罗 |
| [20:07] | Regardless of what we do, we’re in a pretty tight bind. | 不去管我们做了什么 我们现在的关系很密切 |
| [20:12] | I can’t see anything. | 我什么都看不到了 |
| [20:15] | How do we get out of here? | 我们要怎么离开这里 |
| [20:16] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
| [20:21] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [20:23] | Keep playing. | 继续演奏 |
| [20:27] | It’s the Squat-Billed Bushtit. | 那是短嘴山雀的叫声 |
| [20:29] | – So? – He’ll lead us back to his nesting ground. | -所以呢 -它会引领我们去到它筑巢的地方 |
| [20:33] | We’ll follow the creek this time, | 我们这次顺着小溪走 |
| [20:34] | and we’ll find a campground or something for sure. | 肯定能找到某个野营地的 |
| [20:46] | Push me up! | 推我上去 |
| [20:49] | But keep playing. | 但同时要继续演奏 |
| [20:56] | Give me your hand. | 把你的手给我 |
| [21:02] | Um, Vernon? | 弗南 |
| [21:05] | What happened back at the campsite…. | 之前在野营地发生的事 |
| [21:07] | I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 我不知道你在说些什么 |
| [21:19] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [21:21] | Thank you so much. | 真是太感谢了 |
| [21:22] | No problem. You really should sue the gas station guy | 没事 你应该去告加油站那家伙 |
| [21:25] | for putting diesel in your tank. | 竟然往你的油箱里加柴油 |
| [21:27] | I would, but I think he was severely mentally handicapped. | 我会的 但我觉得他是个重度智障 |
| [21:33] | Where y’all headed? | 你们去哪儿 |
| [21:34] | San Diego. | 圣地亚哥 |
| [21:36] | Can I pay you for a ride? | 我付钱 你能载我一程吗 |
| [21:39] | Yeah, sure. | 好啊 行 |
| [21:43] | All right, get in there. | 好了 上车吧 |
| [21:44] | I know I mess around a lot, | 我知道我经常搞砸事情 |
| [21:45] | and I like to have fun, and Becca thinks I’m a baby, | 我喜欢找乐子 贝卡觉得我就是个小孩 |
| [21:47] | but I’m really a good person with a good heart. | 但我真的是个心地善良的大好人 |
| [21:51] | – I know you are. – And I believe there is someone out there | -我知道你是 -我相信这世上一定有个人 |
| [21:53] | who will love me. | 是愿意爱我的 |
| [21:54] | Hopefully a Mexican hottie with big naturals. | 但愿是个身材火辣的墨西哥美女 |
| [21:59] | I’ll miss you. | 我会想你的 |
| [22:01] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
| [22:05] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [22:13] | Where the hell is the bassinet? | 那个摇篮去哪儿了 |
| [22:16] | It’s not here. | 不在这里 |
| [22:17] | Goddamn it! | 该死的 |
| [22:19] | That was my baby’s bassinet. | 那是我家宝宝的摇篮 |
| [22:21] | Someone stole my baby’s crib. She could’ve been in there. | 有人偷了我家宝宝的摇篮 她可能就睡在里面呢 |
| [22:24] | I will murder whoever did this! | 我要宰了那个小偷 |
| [22:33] | I can’t let a blind fool like you drive home. | 我不能让你这瞎眼的傻瓜一个人开车回家 |
| [22:37] | Oh, yeah. | 是啊 |
| [22:39] | That might be dangerous. | 那可能会很危险 |
| [22:41] | Thanks, anyway. | 还是谢谢你了 |
| [22:43] | All right, get in. | 好了 坐进去吧 |
| [22:47] | I’m glad you’re staying. | 我很高兴你打算留下了 |
| [22:48] | Oh, I just realized I can’t leave everything hanging yet. | 我刚刚意识到我不能不负责地抛下一切 |
| [22:52] | Plus I need cash and passports, | 再说我还需要现金和护照 |
| [22:54] | and I should grab some medical-grade condoms from the hospital. | 我还得从医院拿些医疗级别的避孕套 |
| [22:57] | They got some viruses down there that will eat up your junk | 墨西哥有些病毒可以吃掉你的鸡巴 |
| [23:00] | like a pig tearing into a corn cob. | 就像猪啃掉玉米棒一样 |
| [23:03] | Don’t worry, I will give you a signal | 别担心 我在离开前 |
| [23:05] | before I leave in case you change your mind. | 会给你一点提示的 以防你改变主意 |
| [23:08] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [23:12] | By the way, traditionally the seventh layer can be anything. | 顺便说下 传统上来说 第七层可以是任何东西 |
| [23:15] | It can be ground beef, | 比如牛肉碎 |
| [23:17] | shredded lettuce, green onion, | 生菜丝 青洋葱 |
| [23:19] | jalapeños. | 墨西哥辣椒 |
| [23:20] | It’s up to whoever makes it. | 做的人想放什么就是什么 |
| [23:22] | Whatever makes them happy. | 只要自己开心就行 |
| [23:24] | You knew this all along and you didn’t tell me? | 你一直都知道这个 竟然却没告诉我吗 |
| [23:26] | You dick. | 你个混蛋 |
| [23:31] | Mind if we stop at the baby store? | 介意我们在婴儿用品店停一下吗 |
| [23:32] | I got to get my baby a place to sleep before I bail. | 我得在我离开前给我家宝宝弄个睡觉的地方 |
| [23:35] | – Sure. – And we got to stop at the toilet paper store, | -当然可以 -还要在厕纸店停一下 |
| [23:37] | I haven’t forgotten you didn’t wipe your ass, you cuck. | 我可没忘记你没擦屁股的事 你个绿帽男 |
| [23:46] | ♪One more job ought to get it♪ | ♪再来一次就能成功 ♪ |
| [23:48] | ♪One last shot ‘for I quit it♪ | ♪再试一次再停止♪ |
| [23:52] | ♪One more for ♪ | ♪再来一个♪ |
| [23:56] | ♪The road ♪ | ♪留待路上♪ |