| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:18] | “Simon and Kitty stood before | “萨蒙和凯蒂站在 |
| [00:20] | “Pauline’s crumbling fieldstone marker. | 波琳的碎石墓碑前 |
| [00:23] | “Moments later, in a nearby crypt, | 片刻过后 在附近的一个地窖里 |
| [00:26] | “Simon repeatedly plunged into Kitty, | 萨蒙不停地进出凯蒂的身体 |
| [00:29] | “The sounds of their passion | 他们激情欢爱的声音 |
| [00:31] | “Mixing with the wet summer air | 与湿润的夏夜晚风 |
| [00:33] | and the cicadas’ desperate, deafening, doomed song.” | 以及夏蝉绝望喧扰又凄惨的歌声交织在了一起” |
| [00:38] | The end. | 全书终 |
| [00:39] | I inspired the ending! | 结局是受我启发的哦 |
| [00:41] | You should put in the part about pulling out | 你应该描写一下他是体外射精的 |
| [00:42] | so she doesn’t have a ghost baby. | 这样她才不会怀上鬼胎 |
| [00:44] | Just kidding. | 开玩笑的啦 |
| [00:44] | – I think it’s perfect. – I am so happy with it. | -我觉得这简直完美 -我非常满意 |
| [00:47] | I mean, a theme that I hadn’t planned on exploring | 我原本没有打算探索的一个主题 |
| [00:50] | was the fallacy of the very concept of the familial paradigm in art. | 就是艺术中的家庭范式这一概念的谬误 |
| [00:55] | I mean, the idea still persists | 我是说 这个观念仍然坚称 |
| [00:57] | that family, somehow, automatically prescribes closeness. | 家庭就必然地与亲密相关 |
| [01:02] | Family is portrayed as a safe harbor, but nay, | 家庭被描述成安全的港湾 其实才不是 |
| [01:06] | it is often the very Charybdis that yanks us to the fathoms. | 它往往是神话里的女妖 会把我们拖下水 |
| [01:10] | – But not you, buddy. – Not me. | -但你不会 老兄 -我才不会 |
| [01:13] | I am post-family. | 我是个后家庭主义者 |
| [01:15] | You are looking, finally, at a truly free man. | 你眼前的这位 终于成为了一个真正的自由人 |
| [01:19] | Like Thoreau. | 就像梭罗一样 |
| [01:21] | Or the Unabomber. | 或是大学炸弹客 |
| [01:21] | 美国数学家 为对抗现代科技 而举行了全国性的投放炸弹行动 | |
| [01:22] | So… | 所以… |
| [01:24] | are we okay? | 可以开始了吗 |
| [01:26] | Oh, my God, do we really have to do thi…? | 天呐 我们真要做这… |
| [01:27] | Nope, nope, just checking. | 不不 只是问一下而已 |
| [01:33] | Did you hear about this murder off Mulholland? | 你有没有听说穆赫兰道上发生的一起谋杀案 |
| [01:35] | What? | 什么 |
| [01:35] | It was four days ago. | 就发生在4天之前 |
| [01:37] | They found this girl. | 他们发现了被害的女孩 |
| [01:38] | And– oh, that is gruesome! | 而且…哦 太可怕了 |
| [01:42] | “Murder, She Tweeted”? | @女博主与谋杀案 |
| [01:43] | How do I not follow this account? | 我怎么会没关注这个账号呢 |
| [01:45] | Her head was chopped off. | 她的头被砍下 |
| [01:48] | Her blood was drained? | 鲜血流干 |
| [01:50] | Bloody symbols on the rocks? | 石头上有血迹画成的符号 |
| [01:53] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [01:54] | This happened right near our house. | 这就在我们家附近 |
| [01:55] | It could’ve been me! | 受害者也可能会是我 |
| [01:57] | – Can we go look? – No way! | -我们能去看看不 -没门 |
| [01:59] | It sounds very scary. | 听上去挺吓人的 |
| [02:00] | Jimmy. | 吉米 |
| [02:06] | Please? | 求你了 |
| [02:08] | Please. | 求求你 |
| [02:09] | Please? | 求你了啦 |
| [02:11] | Fine! | 好吧 |
| [02:12] | You creepy, creepy murder girl. | 你这个变态的凶案痴迷者 |
| [02:15] | Yay! | 好耶 |
| [02:16] | They say, when a murder scene is fresh, | 有人说 如果凶杀刚发生不久 |
| [02:20] | you can still smell the fear in the air. | 你仍然可以在空气里嗅到恐惧的味道 |
| [02:23] | And afterwards, we can swing by Echo Park and get paletas. | 然后我们还可以绕道回声公园买点水果冰棒 |
| [03:01] | Anyway, the show’s called Doug Loves Sketches, | 总之 节目的名字叫《道格爱喜剧》 |
| [03:04] | and it’s a full-time gig. | 并且这是个全职工作 |
| [03:05] | Like, this is what I’m doing for a living now. | 现在这就是我的生计了 |
| [03:09] | I’m a comedy writer. | 我是名喜剧编剧 |
| [03:10] | Can I get some salty black sauce for this egg rice? | 能给我点酱油配这个鸡蛋饭吗 |
| [03:12] | – Yeah. – Where’s your food? | -当然 -你的早饭呢 |
| [03:14] | Oh, I only have enough left for Jimmy. | 剩下的只够给吉米吃了 |
| [03:16] | Anyway, I’m super excited, | 总之 我超激动 |
| [03:19] | but I’m also kind of nervous to tell Dorothy. | 但我也有点忐忑 不敢告诉多洛希 |
| [03:22] | ‘Cause you’re writing for an Internet show and nobody cares about that? | 因为你在给一部无人问津的网剧写段子吗 |
| [03:25] | She’s been really low lately | 她最近情绪特别低落 |
| [03:28] | and this might hurt her feelings. | 这可能会伤害到她 |
| [03:29] | So what? | 那又怎样 |
| [03:31] | Brah, she’s taking that “D” on the reg; | 老兄 她就是个挨操的骚货 |
| [03:33] | it’s her job to support you. | 支持你是她的责任 |
| [03:35] | You got to speak up and tell people what you want. | 你得把你想要的大声说出来 让大家知道 |
| [03:38] | You are the master of your own destiny. | 你就是自身命运的主宰 |
| [03:41] | Don’t be a martyr. | 别做牺牲者 |
| [03:43] | I was a martyr. | 我以前就是个牺牲者 |
| [03:44] | I almost martyred my husband, | 我差点牺牲了我丈夫 |
| [03:46] | but I didn’t. | 但我并没有 |
| [03:47] | You’re right, Lindsay. | 你说得对 琳赛 |
| [03:48] | I should put myself first. | 我应该把自己放在首位 |
| [03:51] | So, | 那么 |
| [03:52] | can I have some of your breakfast sushi? | 能让我吃块你的早餐寿司吗 |
| [03:54] | Sorry, I licked it all already. | 不好意思 我都舔过了 |
| [04:06] | This is gonna be so rad. | 一定会超级刺激的 |
| [04:08] | Maybe they marked where the body is | 或许他们还标示了尸体的位置 |
| [04:10] | and I can lie down in it | 我能躺在那个轮廓线内 |
| [04:11] | and experience her terror. | 亲身体验到她的恐惧 |
| [04:18] | Oh, my God, It’s so ugly. | 天呐 太丑了 |
| [04:20] | It looks like the fox in the Nine Inch Nails video | 看上去就像是九寸钉的MV里那只 |
| [04:22] | that’s being eaten by ants. | 被蚂蚁蚕食掉的狐狸 |
| [04:24] | It looks like it should be screaming at an old lady | 它就像在朝奇异双胞胎乐团的MV里 |
| [04:26] | in an Aphex Twin video. | 那个老妇人尖叫 |
| [04:28] | Why is its face so swollen? | 脸怎么会这么肿啊 |
| [04:30] | Did Becca give birth directly over a beehive? | 贝卡是在马蜂窝上生的孩子吗 |
| [04:32] | Even at an illegal baby mill, they’d be like, | 即使在非法的接生作坊 他们也应该是 |
| [04:34] | “Yeah, that’s okay. We’re good.” | “没事儿 我们挺好哒” |
| [04:42] | Oh, shitsticks! | 我靠 |
| [04:43] | Jimmy, Five-O! | 吉米 条子 |
| [04:45] | Good spotting, Goose. | 眼力不错 呆子 赶快跑 |
| [05:06] | – Yeah? – 17 seconds. New record. | -怎么样 -17秒 新纪录 |
| [05:09] | Okay. | 很好 |
| [05:27] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [05:28] | Page one– preliminary settlement offer. | 第一页 初步和解提议 |
| [05:31] | You’re supposed to write it on a piece of paper | 你应该把它写在一张纸上 |
| [05:34] | and slide it over. | 然后进行滑动翻页 |
| [05:36] | Watch. | 瞧好了 |
| [05:37] | Here’s my initial offer. | 这是我的初步提议 |
| [05:48] | This is just a drawing of a cat. | 你只是画了一只猫而已 |
| [05:50] | It’s just a starting point. | 这只是个开始 |
| [05:51] | It’s called a negotiation. | 这就叫”谈判” |
| [05:54] | Now, you go. | 现在该你说了 |
| [05:56] | My initial spousal support offer is $2,000. | 关于配偶赡养费 我初步开2000美元 |
| [05:59] | Accepted! | 接受 |
| [06:02] | $2,000 a month, Lindsay. | 2000美元一个月 琳赛 |
| [06:04] | I know, that’s so much money. | 我知道 好多钱哦 |
| [06:07] | I accept. | 我接受 |
| [06:09] | Negotiations are over. | 谈判结束 |
| [06:12] | You know, you have to pay for your own apartment. | 你得自己付公寓的房租 |
| [06:13] | Great. How much are apartments, like two hundo? | 很好 房租能有多少呢 两百块吗 |
| [06:17] | So, that’s good. | 不错啊 |
| [06:17] | No, Lindsay. | 不 琳赛 |
| [06:19] | It’s bad. | 很糟糕 |
| [06:21] | It’s really, really bad. | 非常非常糟糕 |
| [06:26] | I’m cucking you now. | 现在是我对你不忠 |
| [06:29] | I’m the hot wife. | 我是性感人妻 |
| [06:30] | I do not like this piece of paper. | 我不喜欢这张纸 |
| [06:33] | I’m finally getting what I want, | 我终于得到自己想要的了 |
| [06:36] | and what I want | 我想要的 |
| [06:38] | is to watch you burn. | 就是看着你玩火自焚 |
| [06:40] | Oh, yes. | 没错 |
| [06:41] | Burn! | 燃烧 |
| [06:55] | Okay. Page two– 401K distributions. | 好了 第2页 养老保险分配 |
| [07:01] | Uh, hi. Uh, Edgar Quintero. | 你好 我是埃德加·坤塔罗 |
| [07:03] | – I have a meeting with Doug. – Oh, sure. | -我和道格约好了见面 -好的 |
| [07:04] | Have a seat, Mr. Benson will be right with you. | 请坐 本森先生马上会见你 |
| [07:06] | Oh, uh, hey. | 对了 |
| [07:08] | What happened to the other assistant? | 之前那个助理呢 |
| [07:11] | She died. | 她死了 |
| [07:12] | Mugging in broad daylight. | 光天化日之下抢劫 |
| [07:14] | Fortunately, the guy she mugged is gonna be fine. | 幸运的是 她抢的那个人没有大碍 |
| [07:18] | It’s a joke. | 开玩笑的 |
| [07:19] | It was stomach cancer. She went quick. | 是胃癌 她死得很突然 |
| [07:24] | Hey, can I ask you a question? | 我能问你个问题吗 |
| [07:26] | Do you like your job? | 你喜欢你的工作吗 |
| [07:28] | It’s pretty great. | 非常棒 |
| [07:29] | It really suits my lifestyle. | 很符合我的生活方式 |
| [07:31] | I just sit around all day, answer some calls. | 就整天闲坐着 接接电话 |
| [07:34] | You’re supposed to throw away your personal food at the end of the week, | 你应该在一周后把没吃完的食物都扔掉 |
| [07:37] | but a lot of people don’t. | 但很多人都不会扔 |
| [07:38] | Gwen might be done with that açaí bowl, | 格温也许不会再吃甜品碗了 |
| [07:41] | but Dutch isn’t. | 但达奇可不会 |
| [07:44] | Well, would you ever give up your job for a relationship? | 你会为了一段感情放弃自己的工作吗 |
| [07:48] | Well, that is completely out of the blue. | 这问题可真是太突然了 |
| [07:53] | Edgar. | 埃德加 |
| [07:54] | – Come on in. – Thanks. | -进来 -谢了 |
| [07:56] | What’s up? | 还好吗 |
| [07:57] | Uh, listen, Doug. | 是这样 道格 |
| [08:04] | I can’t do the show. | 我没法做这个喜剧了 |
| [08:06] | – My girlfriend… – Sloppy-blowjob Dorothy? | -我女朋友… -口交贱女多洛希吗 |
| [08:08] | W-What? Um… | 什 什么… |
| [08:10] | A-Anyway, she’s… | 总之 她… |
| [08:13] | she’s been going through a really tough time, | 她在经历一个很艰难的时期 |
| [08:14] | and I feel like my having this opportunity | 我觉得我得到这次机会 |
| [08:18] | is making her feel worse. | 会让她更不好受 |
| [08:19] | I see. Well, I’ll be sad to see you go. | 明白 你退出我会很惋惜的 |
| [08:23] | Dutch, can you get me UTA? | 达奇 帮我联系下联合人才公司 |
| [08:24] | I need some lower level writer résumés. | 我需要一些低水平编剧的简历 |
| [08:26] | I don’t know, maybe I’m making a mistake. | 我也说不好 也许这是错误的决定 |
| [08:28] | I’m supposed to be supporting her, but really, by quitting, | 我应该支持她 但如果真的退出 |
| [08:31] | I’m not standing up for my needs, | 我就没有维护我的需求 |
| [08:32] | which is ultimately bad for our relationship. | 这最终对我们的感情也很不好 |
| [08:34] | So, maybe I shouldn’t quit. | 所以 我或许不该退出 |
| [08:37] | Oh, cool! | 很好 |
| [08:39] | So, you just came into my office to not quit. | 所以你来我办公室就是说不想退出的 |
| [08:41] | That’s a pretty good use of my time. | 真是完全”没有”浪费我的时间啊 |
| [08:43] | So now I get to go to your house with a sandwich | 所以现在我该拿个三明治去你家 |
| [08:45] | and be like, “I don’t want this sandwich.” | 然后说”我不想要这个三明治了” |
| [08:48] | But then say, “I want this sandwich,” And then explain why? | 接着说”我想要这个三明治” 然后解释缘由 |
| [08:51] | – So, I get to do that now? – Sure. | -所以我可以这么做了吗 -当然 |
| [08:53] | That’s actually a really great bit. | 那其实是个很不错的桥段 |
| [08:55] | Get a camera, shoot it over the weekend. | 找个摄像机 在周末把它拍了 |
| [08:57] | I’ll get Andy Richter to play the sandwich | 我会让安迪·瑞切特出演三明治 |
| [08:59] | and I’ll see you on Monday. | 我们周一见吧 |
| [09:01] | All right. | 好的 |
| [09:03] | Cool. | 很好 |
| [09:09] | All right, man. | 好了 伙计 |
| [09:10] | I just e-mailed Doug my letter of resignation. | 我刚把辞职信发给道格了 |
| [09:13] | – What? – I’m willing to try this with you, dude. | -什么 -我愿意和你试一试 哥们 |
| [09:16] | I really don’t think I’m gay, | 我不觉得我是同性恋 |
| [09:18] | but is my life so perfect | 但真是因为我的生活太完美 |
| [09:20] | that I can afford to be closed off? | 足以让我一直思想封闭吗 |
| [09:22] | And when you think about it, | 其实仔细想想 |
| [09:23] | homosexuality really suits my lifestyle– | 同性恋真心符合我的生活方式 |
| [09:26] | sitting around, | 闲坐着 |
| [09:27] | – chugging cold ones, playing vids…- What? No. | -喝喝啤酒 打打游戏 -什么 不 |
| [09:30] | Assume you got to suck a dick once in a while, but whatever. | 可能时不时得舔个鸡巴 不过也无所谓 |
| [09:32] | I’ve put weirder things in my mouth. | 我含过更奇葩的东西 |
| [09:34] | I-I-I was talking about me and my girlfriend. | 我说的是 我和我女朋友 |
| [09:37] | What? | 什么 |
| [09:39] | Oh, no! | 糟了 |
| [09:41] | I just told Doug Benson I quit | 我刚告诉道格·本森我不干了 |
| [09:43] | and to kiss my gay ass! | 还叫他舔我的基佬屁股 |
| [09:46] | He’s been nothing but nice to me! | 他一直对我很好啊 |
| [09:48] | Why do I keep doing this? | 我为什么总是这样 |
| [09:53] | Hey-hey, Doug. | 听我说 道格 |
| [09:54] | What the hell is going on? | 这他妈怎么回事 |
| [09:55] | – It was– I’m not gay. – Are you kidding? | -这…我不是同性恋 -开玩笑吗 |
| [09:57] | I mean, I might be gay, but I’m not– I don’t think I am. | 我是说我可能是同性恋 但我…我应该不是 |
| [10:05] | I can’t get an Uber to pick me up. | 叫不到优步车来接我了 |
| [10:06] | – I think my rating’s too low. – What’s yours? | -应该是我的评分太低了 -你的呢 |
| [10:09] | Oh, bad. Apparently, they don’t like it | 很糟 显然他们不喜欢 |
| [10:11] | when you call multiple companies | 你同时叫多个公司的司机 |
| [10:12] | and make them race to pick you up. | 叫他们比赛 看谁最先到 |
| [10:17] | Becca’s gonna be the worst mom. | 贝卡将是最糟糕的妈妈 |
| [10:18] | You can tell just by looking at a kid, | 你只需要看看孩子 |
| [10:20] | if they have good or bad parents. | 就能知道他们的爸妈是好是坏 |
| [10:21] | Well, how? | 怎么看出 |
| [10:24] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:25] | See that kid– black dress socks, | 看那个孩子 黑丝袜那个 |
| [10:27] | stained shirt? | 脏兮兮的T恤 |
| [10:28] | His parents don’t give a shit. | 他的父母一点都不关心他 |
| [10:31] | Now, that one with the perfect fade, pressed shirt, he’s totally hot. | 再看那个 发型完美 衬衫平整 帅呆了 |
| [10:35] | His parents care a shit ton. | 他父母肯定相当关心他 |
| [10:38] | When I’m a mom, my kid is gonna look fly as hell | 我要是当妈妈 我的孩子一定时髦炸了 |
| [10:41] | ’cause I’m gonna care the shit out of that kid. | 因为我会关心死那个孩子 |
| [10:43] | That kid’s not that hot. | 那孩子没多帅 |
| [10:44] | Now, that kid, | 再看那个孩子 |
| [10:46] | he’s tanned a perfect bronze, | 晒了一身完美的古铜色 |
| [10:48] | his bod is banging. | 身材超棒 |
| [10:50] | He doesn’t even have a six-pack. | 他连6块腹肌都没有 |
| [10:53] | Check out midriff. | 看那个露腰的 |
| [10:54] | Oh! That ass! | 哇 这美臀 |
| [10:56] | Like it was carved out of marble. | 仿佛是大理石雕琢出的 |
| [10:58] | I think you two should leave. | 我觉得你们两个该走了 |
| [11:00] | – How dare you? – Who even becomes a third-grade teacher anyhow? | -好大胆子 -什么人才会去当三年级老师啊 |
| [11:02] | This has nothing to do with you. | 这和你没有一点关系 |
| [11:04] | Oh, I’m not nurturing enough to be a Kindergarten teacher, | 我不够关怀孩子 当不了幼儿园老师 |
| [11:05] | This is between us and the urchins. | 这是我们和孩子间的事 |
| [11:06] | but I can quite master compound sentences. | 但我对复合句相当了解 |
| [11:07] | Why don’t you just go back to your job, you old cow? | 何不继续做你的事去 你这个老母牛 |
| [11:09] | Where do I belong? | 我属于哪里 |
| [11:11] | 提醒 加丝蒂娜·乔丹刚刚抵达伊顿代尔 洛杉矶 下午1:06 | |
| [11:12] | Hey, my therapist is at Edendale. | 我的心理医生在伊顿代尔呢 |
| [11:14] | Want to come watch me yell at her? | 想不想去看我吼她 |
| [11:15] | You mean, instead of going to the murder place? | 你是说不去犯罪现场了 |
| [11:17] | Oh, hell no. On the way. | 当然不是 顺路去看 |
| [11:19] | I just need you to see how awesome I’ve gotten at heckling her. | 我就是想让你看看 我在黑她时有多棒 |
| [11:22] | I found out she has diabetes– | 我发现她有糖尿病 |
| [11:24] | really opened things up, | 真是茅塞顿开 |
| [11:26] | high-ass sugar-having bitch. | 高血糖的婊子 |
| [11:27] | Huh, then we’ll stop by the house and pick up the car. | 那我们顺便回下房子把车取上 |
| [11:30] | Can you at least give me some money up-front to get started? | 你能不能至少先给我点钱让我起步 |
| [11:35] | Please. | 拜托了 |
| [11:51] | Did you just actually open up a bank app and deposit it | 你刚刚是打开银行应用把钱存了 |
| [11:54] | or did you just take a photo of it? | 还是单纯地拍了张照片 |
| [11:57] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么 |
| [11:58] | Did you observe people using e-check deposit | 你是不是看过别人用电子支票存款 |
| [12:02] | and now, as a result, | 结果 现在 |
| [12:03] | think you can just take a photo | 你觉得你只需要拍个照片 |
| [12:05] | and it magically goes into your bank account? | 钱就会神奇地进入你的银行账户 |
| [12:09] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [12:12] | This is so freeing. | 真是太解脱了 |
| [12:15] | I can finally say it. | 我终于可以说出来了 |
| [12:17] | You are so stupid! | 你真是蠢爆了 |
| [12:21] | Why does no one talk about how dumb she is? | 怎么没人谈论她有多蠢呢 |
| [12:24] | She’s like the dumbest person on the planet! | 她简直是这个星球上最愚蠢的人 |
| [12:27] | 50 years ago, | 50年前 |
| [12:29] | she would be sterilized for the good of evolution. | 为了人类进化考虑 她会被绝育的 |
| [12:31] | I’m not so stupid that I couldn’t get you | 我也不算太蠢吧 毕竟我成功地让你 |
| [12:34] | to let me bone another guy in front of you | 同意我当着你的面跟别的男人上床 |
| [12:36] | and make you think it was for our marriage. | 并让你坚信那是为了我们的婚姻 |
| [12:38] | Get out! | 滚出去 |
| [12:40] | Out! | 滚出 |
| [12:48] | Uh, excuse you. | 借过 |
| [12:52] | Look who’s here! | 瞧瞧谁来了 |
| [12:55] | Remember? | 还记得吗 |
| [12:57] | That talking baby movie? | 那部会说话的宝宝的电影 |
| [12:58] | Look Who’s Here? | 《瞧瞧谁来了》 |
| [13:00] | Well, I’ll tell you who’s here. | 我来告诉你们是谁来了 |
| [13:01] | Tallulah. | 塔卢拉 |
| [13:04] | It’s me, you turkeys. | 是我哦 你们这些没用的家伙 |
| [13:10] | I’m ready, Vernon. | 我准备好了 弗南 |
| [13:12] | I’m ready to start a new life in Méjico | 我准备好去墨西哥开始新生活了 |
| [13:15] | and find a woman who really loves me. | 找到一个真正爱我的女人 |
| [13:16] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:17] | Oh. Nah, | 不 |
| [13:20] | I hadn’t met the baby when I said that. | 我当时说这话的时候还没见过孩子 |
| [13:22] | I love her so goddamn much, nerd. | 我太爱她了 呆子 |
| [13:24] | Plus, I can’t leave her with Bec. | 再说 我不能让她跟贝卡一起过 |
| [13:26] | She will JonBenet her fo’ sho’, | 她绝对会把女儿害死的 |
| [13:28] | or leave her on a bench at the Marina del Rey Rosé Fest | 或把她丢在玛丽安德尔湾玫瑰节的长椅上 |
| [13:31] | or some shit. | 或其他乱七八糟的事 |
| [13:33] | You’re really giving up those big naturals? | 你真要放弃那对天然的大奶子吗 |
| [13:44] | Tallulah. | 塔卢拉 |
| [13:44] | Uh, sorry, Paul. | 抱歉 保罗 |
| [13:46] | You’re not part of this family anymore. | 你已经不属于这个大家庭了 |
| [13:49] | You know, when I was in high school, | 我念高中的时候 |
| [13:51] | you wouldn’t have existed to me. | 你这种人在我眼中完全是不存在的 |
| [13:53] | Now, we can just return to that natural state of things. | 现在我们又可以回到那种自然状态了 |
| [14:05] | Vernon? | 弗南 |
| [14:05] | Just go. | 快走吧 |
| [14:07] | Get out of here, nerd. | 滚吧 呆子 |
| [14:09] | – But… – Go on. | -但是 -快走吧 |
| [14:11] | Get! | 拿着滚 |
| [14:29] | Gretchen! | 格雷琴 |
| [14:30] | Found you again, dummy, | 又找到你了 笨蛋 |
| [14:31] | just followed the trail of insulin needles. | 通过追寻胰岛素注射针就能找到你 |
| [14:36] | I pictured her so much taller and more muscular. | 我想象中的她要比这高很多 也更健壮 |
| [14:39] | You told them about me? | 你跟他们说了我吗 |
| [14:40] | You’re not allowed to talk about me. | 你是不能谈论我的 |
| [14:41] | I’m so glad you came. | 我真高兴你来了 |
| [14:43] | I Foursquared it, just hoping you’d see. | 我故意发布定位信息 希望你能看到 |
| [14:46] | Oh, hey, hey. | 对了 |
| [14:47] | Do– do that thing where you call me names. | 快表演一下你骂我的样子 |
| [14:49] | Ooh, yes, yes, yes. | 对对对 快来 |
| [14:51] | Like… | 比如 |
| [14:53] | titty-sucking bitch? | 舔奶子的贱人 |
| [14:57] | Oh, I am going to miss that, Gretchen. | 我一定会很怀念这个的 格雷琴 |
| [14:59] | Actually, I’m– | 实际上 我… |
| [15:00] | I’m leaving town. | 我要离开这里了 |
| [15:01] | My boyfriend got into the dramaturgy program at the University of Iowa. | 我男朋友申请到了爱荷华大学的剧作理论课程 |
| [15:06] | So, I feel like I need to support him in that. | 我觉得我需要去支持他 |
| [15:08] | He doesn’t even have a car. | 他连车都没有 |
| [15:10] | He uses Justina’s credit card when he buys her presents. | 他给加丝蒂娜买礼物的时候 刷的还是她的卡 |
| [15:13] | Okay, shut up, you guys. He’s on a path. | 好了 你们都闭嘴吧 他在慢慢变好 |
| [15:15] | You’re choosing your boyfriend over your career? | 你为了男朋友放弃了自己的事业吗 |
| [15:17] | Oh, that’s a terrible example for women. | 那对女人而言 真是个反面教材 |
| [15:20] | And diabetics! | 对糖尿病患者也是一样 |
| [15:23] | She’s amazing. | 她简直太赞了 |
| [15:24] | Can I have her? | 能把她让给我吗 |
| [15:25] | No! Look, we can still do Skype sessions, right? | 不行 我们还是可以视频聊天的 |
| [15:29] | Iowa has got the Internet, I think. | 我觉得爱荷华州应该有互联网 |
| [15:32] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [15:35] | I’m gonna show you my titties, though, | 不过 我会给你看我的奶子的 |
| [15:38] | and then you’re gonna try to suck on them through the screen. | 然后你要试着隔着屏幕给我舔奶 |
| [15:41] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [15:42] | When you first came to me, you were out of touch, | 你最初来找我的时候 简直是最特立独行的奇葩 |
| [15:45] | even with your most rudimentary behavioral patterns, | 尽管你有着最发育不全的行为模式 |
| [15:48] | but you have done the work | 但是你付出了那些努力 |
| [15:50] | and you have grown so much. | 你成长了很多 |
| [15:52] | And I’m proud of you. | 我为你骄傲 |
| [15:56] | Bitch. | 贱人 |
| [15:58] | Bitch to you, too, Gretchen. | 你也是个贱人 格雷琴 |
| [16:23] | So, Doug Benson offered me a full-time staff job | 道格·本森向我提供了一份全职工作 |
| [16:25] | and I wasn’t gonna take it | 我本来不想接受的 |
| [16:26] | because I didn’t want you to feel bad, | 因为我不希望你难过 |
| [16:28] | but instead, I decided to keep it, | 不过 我最终还是决定去干这份工作 |
| [16:30] | because I’m becoming a real person, | 因为我正在变成一个真实的人 |
| [16:32] | which in turn, | 顺理成章地 |
| [16:33] | will make me a better partner for you. | 我也会成为你更好的伴侣 |
| [16:35] | Isn’t that great? | 那很好不是吗 |
| [16:36] | Uh, slow down. | 慢着 |
| [16:38] | He offered you a staff job | 他给你提供一份工作 |
| [16:39] | and you were gonna turn it down because of me? | 你原本打算为了我而放弃的吗 |
| [16:41] | But I didn’t. | 但我没那么做 |
| [16:42] | And now, I can support you while things are tough. | 现在 在艰难的日子里 我可以支撑你了 |
| [16:48] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [16:50] | I’m not gonna make it. | 我是不会成功的 |
| [16:51] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:53] | Why would you say that? | 你为什么这么说 |
| [16:54] | Because I’m not, Edgar. | 因为我就是不行 埃德加 |
| [16:56] | I’m not, okay? Face it. | 我就是不行 面对现实吧 |
| [16:58] | And the mere fact that you were even thinking of turning down | 你因为同情我 而打算放弃 |
| [17:00] | this amazing gig because you feel sorry for me | 这份出色的工作 光是这件事 |
| [17:02] | means you don’t love me. | 就说明你并不爱我 |
| [17:04] | You pity me. That’s not love. | 你是同情我 那不是爱 |
| [17:06] | I don’t want that. | 我不想要那样 |
| [17:09] | I’m moving back to Jacksonville, Edgar. | 我要搬回杰克逊维尔了 埃德加 |
| [17:12] | N-No. What? | 不要 什么 |
| [17:14] | No, uh, then-then– | 不 那么… |
| [17:16] | then I’ll come with you. | 我也跟你一起去 |
| [17:17] | I-I love Texas– | 我爱德州 |
| [17:19] | the barbecues, rodeos, South By. | 烤肉 马术大赛 西南偏南艺术节 |
| [17:22] | No, Florida. | 不 那地方在佛州 |
| [17:23] | Oh, God. | 天啊 |
| [17:24] | Oh, no. That’s way worse. | 不好 那要糟糕得多 |
| [17:28] | Look, I don’t want you to martyr yourself for me. | 听着 我不希望你为了我而牺牲自己 |
| [17:31] | I want you to stay here and have your dream. | 我希望你留在这里 实现你的梦想 |
| [17:34] | But what about your dream? | 那你的梦想怎么办 |
| [17:38] | Not everybody gets their dream. | 并非每个人都能实现自己的梦想 |
| [17:43] | Hey, if you know anybody | 对了 如果你认识谁 |
| [17:45] | who wants to take over my lease, will you let me know? | 想续租我的房子 能告诉我一声吗 |
| [17:49] | Thank you | 谢谢你 |
| [17:51] | for being a wonderful boyfriend. | 是个这么出色的男友 |
| [17:53] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [17:56] | I failed. | 我失败了 |
| [18:11] | – You’ve had enough? – Who’s hungry? | -你喝饱了吗 -谁饿了啊 |
| [18:12] | – You’ve had enough? – Who’s hungry? | -你喝饱了吗 -谁饿了啊 |
| [18:13] | No? Who’s hungry? | 没有吗 谁饿了啊 |
| [18:15] | Not hungry? | 不饿吗 |
| [18:17] | So, um… | 话说… |
| [18:18] | is that formula only for babies, | 那个配方牛奶只有宝宝能喝 |
| [18:21] | or can hungry big boys get in on it, too? | 还是饥饿的大男孩也能喝 |
| [18:25] | Don’t you listen to him. | 你可千万别听他的 |
| [18:26] | Can I talk to you for a minute? | 我能跟你谈谈吗 |
| [18:32] | You got her? | 你抱住了吗 |
| [18:32] | – I got her. – Careful, careful. | -我抱稳了 -当心 当心 |
| [18:33] | Hi, Tallulah. | 嗨 塔卢拉 |
| [18:35] | – Who wants the blues? – No, no. | -谁想听蓝调啊 -不 不要 |
| [18:36] | No one wants that. | 没人想听 |
| [18:39] | ♪ Weird poop in my diaper ♪ | ♪尿片里有着奇形怪状的屎♪ |
| [18:40] | Just change her, for God’s sakes. | 快去给她换尿布吧 天啊 |
| [18:43] | ♪Spit-up on my chin.♪ | ♪下巴上挂着呕吐物♪ |
| [18:45] | Can I live at your house again? | 我能再去你家住一段时间吗 |
| [18:47] | You mean, until a week from now when you change your mind | 你是说 一周后你就会改变主意 |
| [18:50] | and decide to move back in with SpongeNerd SquareFace? | 又搬回去跟无敌大饼脸超级大呆子一起住吗 |
| [18:53] | It’s over for real this time. | 这次是真正结束了 |
| [18:55] | He called me stupid. | 他竟然骂我蠢 |
| [18:57] | Can you believe that? | 你敢相信吗 |
| [18:58] | What? No! | 什么 不是吗 |
| [19:01] | You? What…? | 你还蠢 不是吧… |
| [19:03] | I know. | 我也觉得 |
| [19:05] | Well, I just don’t know | 我只是不确定 |
| [19:06] | if we have the ability to house another baby, | 我们是否有足够的能力再收留一个婴儿 |
| [19:09] | you know, even if it is being raised | 哪怕它是由一个 |
| [19:11] | by a financially disadvantaged single mother. | 经济状况差劲的单亲妈妈抚养长大 |
| [19:14] | There’s no baby. | 没有什么婴儿 |
| [19:15] | It’ll just be me. | 只有我一个人 |
| [19:19] | Well, you would have to be Tallulah’s full-time nanny. | 那你必须当塔卢拉的全职保姆了 |
| [19:23] | Josefina quit because Vernon kept shooting Nerf darts at her | 何塞菲娜辞职了 因为弗南总趁她打扫卫生时 |
| [19:26] | while she vacuums. | 向她发射儿童飞镖 |
| [19:27] | Yes! My kid just dropped a major duke! | 好棒 我家孩子刚刚拉了一大泡屎 |
| [19:30] | Don’t worry, Beck, I got this. | 别担心 贝卡 我可以的 |
| [19:31] | I have to admit, | 我必须承认 |
| [19:33] | part of me is jealous. | 我有一点点嫉妒 |
| [19:36] | It’s gonna be at least 18 years | 至少要18年后 |
| [19:38] | before I can divorce Vernon, | 我才能跟弗南离婚 |
| [19:41] | cut my hair off, | 剪掉我的头发 |
| [19:43] | get a golden retriever, | 养一只金毛猎犬 |
| [19:46] | wear chunky knits, | 穿厚重的毛衣 |
| [19:49] | and just redo my kitchen. | 重新装修我的厨房 |
| [19:52] | Over and over, forever. | 一遍又一遍 永远进行下去 |
| [19:55] | If I were you, I would revel in my freedom. | 如果我是你 我一定会在自由里狂欢 |
| [19:58] | – Yeah. – Babe, | -没错 -宝贝 |
| [20:00] | – can I get a little help up here? – Freedom. | -能来帮帮我吗 -自由 |
| [20:02] | Babe, baby, babe, help me! Babe, help me! | 宝贝 宝贝 帮帮我 快帮帮我 |
| [20:13] | You know, so I realized I can’t live with Becca. | 我意识到 我不能跟贝卡一起住 |
| [20:15] | I need freedom. | 我需要自由 |
| [20:17] | Hey, are you sure she’s gone? | 你确定她已经走了吗 |
| [20:24] | I’m sorry. | 我很遗憾 |
| [20:25] | I liked that rando. | 我还挺喜欢那姑娘的 |
| [20:27] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [20:29] | This is so weird. | 这真的好怪啊 |
| [20:32] | I’m still not even sure what exactly happened. | 我还是不太确定究竟发生了什么 |
| [20:35] | I never understand anything that happens to me. | 我从来就没搞明白过发生在我身上的任何事 |
| [20:40] | Are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [20:41] | I think, once she said it, | 我觉得 一旦她说了出来 |
| [20:44] | part of me wanted her to go. | 我内心确实有一丝希望她离开 |
| [20:46] | She was kind of bumming me out. | 她让我很烦恼和失望 |
| [20:50] | How horrible is that of me? | 我真是个糟糕的人 对吧 |
| [20:52] | I mean, it’s not supposed to work like that. | 不该是那样的啊 |
| [20:54] | Right? | 对吧 |
| [20:55] | And then it does. | 但确实就是这样 |
| [20:57] | Are you gonna be okay here? | 你一个人住这里真的可以吗 |
| [20:59] | Even though I’m alone and broke | 尽管我孤身一人 经济困难 |
| [21:01] | and live in the poorest apartment in the world… | 住在全世界最穷酸的公寓里 |
| [21:05] | – I feel good. – Good! | -我还是感觉很愉快 -好极了 |
| [21:08] | I’ll be by in the morning to help you… | 我明早过来帮你… |
| [21:11] | – spruce this place up. – Thanks, Edgar. | -把这地方收拾整理一下 -谢了 埃德加 |
| [21:13] | I’ll buy you a pizza… | 我请你吃披萨 |
| [21:14] | Oh, wait. I just remembered | 等等 我刚突然想起来 |
| [21:16] | I don’t have any money. Can you bring me a pizza? | 我其实没有钱 你能给我买份披萨吗 |
| [21:19] | No. | 不行 |
| [21:20] | Good boy. | 好样的 |
| [21:58] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [22:00] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [22:03] | Oh, my God, | 天啊 |
| [22:04] | it’s so scary! | 好吓人 |
| [22:07] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [22:09] | What does it mean? | 这是什么意思啊 |
| [22:12] | Jimmy… | 吉米 |
| [22:15] | I want to touch it. Can I touch it? | 我好想摸摸 我能摸摸吗 |
| [22:17] | Oh, Jimmy, I’m gonna touch it. | 吉米 我要摸了 |
| [22:23] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [22:25] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [22:26] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么呢 |
| [22:27] | The world is absolutely lousy with people, | 这个世界充满了人 |
| [22:33] | and I hate them all. | 我憎恶所有的人 |
| [22:36] | I hate everyone… | 我讨厌每一个人 |
| [22:38] | but you. | 除了你 |
| [22:39] | Yeah. I hate everyone else, too. | 没错 我也讨厌其他所有人 |
| [22:42] | Now, let’s look for clues. | 我们开始寻找线索吧 |
| [22:43] | You did something really horrible for us. | 你做了对我们而言非常可怕的事 |
| [22:46] | You went to therapy, and for me you did this. | 你去接受心理治疗了 而且你是为了我这么做的 |
| [22:48] | And thus, you deserve as grand a gesture in return. | 因此 你值得获得一个大大的回报 |
| [22:53] | And since I am 100% psychologically sound | 鉴于我的心理是100%健全的 |
| [22:58] | and do not need therapy of any kind… | 也绝不需要任何的心理治疗 |
| [23:06] | Gretchen, | 格雷琴 |
| [23:07] | extraordinary, confounding Gretchen, | 超凡绝伦 复杂多变的格雷琴 |
| [23:11] | she who emits more energy than a dying galaxy, | 比一个即将消亡的星系能释放出更多的能量 |
| [23:15] | despite not washing her legs, | 尽管不洗腿 |
| [23:17] | together we transcend the… | 我们一起 超越了… |
| [23:20] | mundanity down there. | 下面那些世俗的人类 |
| [23:23] | Separate, it shall eventually consume us | 如果分开 那只会吞噬我们的力量 |
| [23:26] | and turn us as mundane as them, | 把我们变成跟他们一样世俗的存在 |
| [23:28] | and to allow that to happen simply because we were scared | 就因为我们害怕 就允许那种情况发生 |
| [23:34] | would be a criminal act. | 简直是在犯罪 |
| [23:36] | Wait, but the murder…? | 等等 那个谋杀案… |
| [23:38] | I made it up. | 是我编造的 |
| [23:41] | The article? The Twitter account? | 那篇报道 那个推特账号 |
| [23:44] | Me. | 是我伪造的 |
| [23:44] | The D.U.I. checkpoint? | 那个酒驾检查点 |
| [23:46] | Oh, no. That was real. No, we were way lucky on that one. | 不 那个是真的 不过算我们走运躲过去了 |
| [23:57] | Jimmy, | 吉米 |
| [23:57] | yeah, n… Wait. | 我愿意 等等 |
| [24:01] | You haven’t actually asked yet. I am not doing that again. | 你还没正式问我呢 我可不要又像上次那样 |
| [24:04] | Will you marry me? | 你愿意嫁给我吗 |
| [24:07] | Yes! | 我愿意 |
| [24:15] | You made a murder for me! | 你为我制造了一个谋杀案 |
| [24:25] | Hey, uh, you ever | 对了 你有没有过 |
| [24:27] | boned down during the Hollywood Bowl fireworks? | 在好莱坞露天剧场焰火表演下做爱的经历 |
| [24:30] | I mean, of course. | 当然有啦 |
| [24:30] | Yeah, me, too, but not as an engaged person. | 我也有过 但是可没以订婚人士的身份干过 |
| [24:35] | I’ll get us a hoodie from the car to lie on. | 我去拿个引擎盖来 躺在上面干 |
| [24:38] | Hurry back. | 快点回来哦 |
| [24:40] | This fits, you know? | 这很合适 你知道吗 |
| [24:42] | You lost your dad, but… | 你失去了你爸 但是… |
| [24:45] | you gained me. | 你得到了我 |
| [24:46] | We’re a family. | 我们是一家人了 |
| [24:48] | That’s pretty cool, right? | 那挺酷的 对吧 |
| [24:51] | We’re no longer just | 我们不再是 |
| [24:53] | whatever we were. | 曾经的我们了 |
| [24:54] | We’re no longer… just us. | 我们也不再是 单独的自我了 |
| [24:58] | We’re a family now. | 我们现在是一家人了 |