时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:21] | Yes, I did choose to V.O.D. the film through your service, | 没错 我的确从你们的平台点播了那部电影 |
[00:24] | but my end-user experience was unsatisfactory. | 但我的终端用户体验非常不满意 |
[00:28] | No, no. There was no lag time. | 不不 并没有延迟 |
[00:30] | Everything was fine. | 一切都没问题 |
[00:32] | Well, you see, Mario, | 知道吗 马里奥 |
[00:34] | the problem is The Babadook… | 问题在于《鬼书》这部电影… |
[00:37] | It’s not scary. | 它不恐怖 |
[00:39] | It’s actually so scary. | 其实恐怖惨了 |
[00:40] | – I’m gonna make you watch it. – Then why do you want a refund? | -我会逼你看的 -那你为什么想申请退款 |
[00:42] | They just give you free shit. | 这样他们会免费送东西 |
[00:43] | I told U-verse that I got seizures from watching Legion– | 我告诉网络电视运营商我看《大群》时癫痫发作 |
[00:46] | they gave me six months NBA TV. | 他们送了我六个月的NBA台免费观看权限 |
[00:50] | Shit-sticks. | 该死 |
[00:52] | Uh, hide. You can’t be here. | 躲起来 不能被人发现你在这里 |
[00:54] | Gretchen can be anywhere! | 格雷琴想去哪就去哪 |
[00:55] | That crumplesack Neil is dropping off Olivia. | 那个傻逼尼尔要送奥利维亚过来 |
[00:57] | I’m not supposed to let a lover hang with the kid | 我不能让女朋友和我的孩子相处 |
[01:00] | – until Whitney meets her and approves. – I’ll meet your ex-wife. | -除非威特妮见过她并认可了 -我愿意见你前妻 |
[01:03] | I’ll meet anyone. | 我见谁都行 |
[01:04] | I met January Jones once. | 我还见过詹纽瑞·琼斯 |
[01:07] | Hey, Booner. | 小布好啊 |
[01:08] | Olivia ran next door to play on the Coughlins’ trampoline. | 奥利维亚去隔壁科弗林家玩蹦床了 |
[01:10] | Okay, bye. | 好了 再见 |
[01:12] | Hey, so… I’ve started seeing someone. | 话说 我有新女友了 |
[01:15] | She wants to meet Whitney. | 她想见威特妮 |
[01:19] | Our shared calendar says she’s free this afternoon. | 我们的共享日程表显示她今天下午有空 |
[01:21] | Shared calendar? | 共享日程表 |
[01:25] | – Sorry. – Real mature. | -抱歉 -真成熟啊 |
[01:27] | – I said sorry. – Whatever. | -我已经道歉了 -随便吧 |
[01:28] | Yes, Neil, I have a hot girlfriend | 没错 尼尔 我有个超性感的女朋友 |
[01:30] | who likes it when I give it to her every day, hard, | 她每天被我操得爽翻天 |
[01:33] | sometimes twice. | 有时一天还操两回 |
[01:34] | So, have fun having zero sex ever. | 祝你一辈子没性生活开心哦 |
[01:38] | Why are you like this?! | 你为什么要这样 |
[01:39] | Maybe ’cause you’re living in my house, | 可能是因为你住在我家 |
[01:41] | farting on my Tempur-Pedic, next to my wife, | 在我的高级床垫上放屁 还睡在我老婆旁边 |
[01:43] | you walking circumcision! | 你这个人形包皮 |
[01:45] | – You need therapy. – I don’t… | -你需要看心理医生 -我才不… |
[01:47] | You need therapy! You creepy little turd! | 你才需要看心理医生 你个恶心的屎人 |
[01:50] | You jug of ball sweat! | 你就是个臭傻屌 |
[01:53] | This afternoon? | 今天下午吗 |
[01:54] | Okay, bring it on. | 好吧 放马过来 |
[01:57] | Once I get a gallon of tomato juice and beer in me, | 等我喝下一加仑的番茄汁混啤酒后 |
[02:00] | I am hella charming. | 我就变得超讨人喜欢 |
[02:02] | She’s gonna grill you. | 她会拷问你的 |
[02:03] | Grill away, bitch. | 随便她拷 贱人 |
[02:07] | This ranch tastes funny, boo. | 这田园沙拉酱味道怪怪的 布宝 |
[02:08] | We don’t have ranch. | 我们家没有田园沙拉酱 |
[02:33] | This week on “Tip of My Tongue…” | 本周的《话到嘴边》 |
[02:35] | I guess I’d rename the Miracle Mile the, uh, | 我想我要把”奇迹一英里”改名为 |
[02:38] | Cursed Kilometer. | “诅咒一公里” |
[02:42] | Morning! | 早上好 |
[02:43] | Katherine. | 凯瑟琳 |
[02:45] | Hello. | 你好啊 |
[02:48] | So… | 话说 |
[02:51] | not that I regret last night | 我倒不是后悔昨晚的事 |
[02:54] | I mean, on principle, I don’t regret things, | 原则上我不会后悔做任何事 |
[02:56] | not even buying tickets | 哪怕是买票去看 |
[02:58] | to see Billy Bob Thornton’s band, but… | 比利·鲍伯·松顿的乐队演出 但… |
[03:00] | But there are no sleepovers. | 但不能在你家过夜 |
[03:03] | Got it. Won’t happen again. | 明白了 不会有下次 |
[03:16] | Well, it’s been weird, | 虽然挺怪的 |
[03:18] | but ultimately delightful seeing you, Jimmy. | 但总的来说见到你很开心 吉米 |
[03:21] | You’re right, it got much bigger. | 你说得对 你的鸡鸡的确变大很多 |
[03:24] | I’m just gonna get me coat. | 我去拿外套 |
[03:28] | Guess who’s about to buy his first brand-new car? | 猜猜谁要买人生第一辆新车啦 |
[03:32] | My main dude Max has a guy who sets up the loan | 我的好兄弟麦克斯可以找人帮我办贷款 |
[03:36] | and delivers it to you like a pri-zza! | 然后送车到府 像送比萨一样方便 |
[03:39] | What the hell does Gretchen mean by this? “We need to talk.” | 格雷琴这话是什么意思 “我们得谈谈” |
[03:42] | There’s a special circle in hell for people who say, | 地狱里专门有个地方是留给这种 |
[03:45] | “We need to talk,” instead of just talking. | 说”我们得谈谈”而不是直接开谈的人的 |
[03:47] | Fire back, bruh. | 反击吧 兄弟 |
[03:49] | I shall. | 我会的 |
[03:57] | Take that. | 接招吧 |
[03:59] | Well, I’m off. | 我走啦 |
[04:06] | Where are you going? | 你要去哪里 |
[04:07] | Meeting a few mates for brunch. | 跟几个朋友去吃早午餐 |
[04:09] | Perfect. I need a mimosa or six. | 太好了 我得来杯含羞草鸡尾酒 或者6杯 |
[04:13] | Let me just put on some pants. | 等我去穿个裤子 |
[04:23] | Nice. | 厉害 |
[04:24] | Right? | 是吧 |
[04:26] | Mommy, over here! Mommy! Mommy! Mom! | 妈咪 这里 妈咪 妈咪 |
[04:30] | – This is so sweet. – Mom! | -好有爱啊 -妈 |
[04:33] | Sweet? No! Look! | 有爱个鬼 你看 |
[04:36] | You were doing foot sex with Lou Diamond Phillips | 你在跟卢·戴蒙德·菲利普斯足交 |
[04:38] | instead of paying attention to us! | 对我们不管不顾 |
[04:41] | Am I supposed to feel something about that? | 我难道对此该有什么感觉吗 |
[04:45] | Maybe regret that your daughters– | 比如很后悔你的女儿们… |
[04:47] | one more than the other, obviously– | 尤其是其中一个 因为你的行为 |
[04:49] | are broken because of you. | 受到了严重伤害 |
[04:51] | Lou and I happened to have had explosive sexual chemistry. | 我和卢之间的性爱化学反应特别激烈 |
[04:55] | He could make me climax by whispering in my ear. | 他光是对我耳语都能让我高潮 |
[04:57] | You ignored us constantly. I played in the street, | 你总是无视我们 我小时候在马路上玩 |
[05:00] | I ate watch batteries, I went on a date with Edward Furlong. | 吞过手表电池 还跟爱德华·弗朗约会过 |
[05:05] | But you’re fine. | 你不是挺好的吗 |
[05:06] | I am married to Vernon, | 我嫁给了弗南 |
[05:08] | a man who shaves his pubic hair into the letter “V.” | 他会把自己的阴毛修成V字 |
[05:12] | Well, I don’t know what to tell you. | 我不知道该说什么 |
[05:14] | And I’ve got to get to the set. | 另外我得去片场了 |
[05:17] | Go. Deal with your problems like normal people. | 行动吧 像正常人一样解决自己的问题 |
[05:22] | Split a Klonopin. | 吃点抗抑郁药 |
[05:25] | You saw the tape. We were… happy little girls. | 你也看到录像了 我们小时候那么开心 |
[05:31] | How did we turn out like this? | 怎么会变成这样 |
[05:35] | Did you ever hear from Lou after he and Mom broke up? | 卢和妈分手之后 你收到过他的消息吗 |
[05:38] | Never. | 从来没有 |
[05:40] | – Did you? – Not a peep. | -你呢 -杳无音信 |
[05:42] | Unless he’s the one who’s been leaving notes on my car | 除非是他总在我车上贴便条 |
[05:44] | saying “Learn how to park.” | 上面写着”学学怎么停车” |
[05:47] | But it’s weird. Isn’t it? | 但是很奇怪 你不觉得吗 |
[05:49] | He lived with us for, like, three years. | 他跟我们住了差不多三年吧 |
[05:52] | Yeah, he drove me to dressage every week in junior high, | 是啊 高中时他每周都送我去学马术 |
[05:55] | and then he just… disappeared. | 可后来就直接 消失了 |
[05:58] | He wasn’t there when I finally got Princess Pamplemousse | 我后来终于教会柚子公主走太空步 |
[06:00] | to do the moonwalk. | 他却没在场 |
[06:01] | That’s what I’m saying: he could have kept being our dad-not-dad, | 就是啊 他本可以一直当我们的假爸爸 |
[06:04] | but he straight bailed. | 可他就直接跑了 |
[06:07] | What if it’s us? | 会不会是因为我们 |
[06:09] | What? | 什么 |
[06:09] | What if the reason Mom neglected us | 也许妈妈忽视我们 |
[06:12] | and Lou vanished us is that we’ve always sucked? | 卢也直接消失 是因为我们太烂 |
[06:15] | No. | 不 |
[06:16] | I was the perfect, special girl. | 我那么特别 那么完美 |
[06:19] | I… | 我… |
[06:23] | Let’s go ask him. | 我们去问他吧 |
[06:26] | Mom misremembers everything about our childhoods. | 我们小时候的每件事妈都会记错 |
[06:28] | She showed me a photo of her and Christina Ricci | 她给我看了一张她和克里斯蒂娜·里奇 |
[06:31] | on the set of Mermaids and told me | 在《美人鱼》片场的合影 还跟我说 |
[06:32] | it was us on vacation in Orlando. | 那是我们去奥兰多度假的照片 |
[06:34] | Yes! Let’s do it. | 好 就这么干 |
[06:37] | Lou was always honest with us, no matter– | 卢总是对我们很坦诚 无论发生… |
[06:39] | and there’s his dick. Okay. | 他在这个镜头里露屌了 好吧 |
[06:48] | Gretchen. | 格雷琴 |
[06:51] | Balls. | 完蛋 |
[06:53] | Yes. Gretchen is me. | 没错 格雷琴就是鄙人 |
[06:55] | I mean, I. | 就是我 |
[06:57] | Whitney. | 我叫威特妮 |
[07:09] | I hope you don’t mind, but I did a little research on you. | 希望你不介意 我调查了一下你 |
[07:13] | You post to Urban Dictionary a lot. | 你经常在俚语词典网上发潮词解释 |
[07:17] | People got to know. | 得为人们科普 |
[07:18] | You don’t want people walking around not knowing what you mean | 免得大家都不知道我说的 |
[07:21] | when you tell them you just skunked a creamer. | “干了个多精男”是什么意思 |
[07:24] | Um, did you know there’s a 14-year-old girl | 你知不知道有个14岁的女孩 |
[07:27] | with your name? | 跟你用同样的名字 |
[07:28] | That is also me. | 那也是我 |
[07:30] | I use “Lil’ Gretch” to catch pedophiles | 我利用”萝莉格雷琴”来抓恋童癖 |
[07:33] | and occasionally cyberbully Elle Fanning. | 偶尔还会在网上喷艾丽·范宁 |
[07:37] | Can I get you ladies a drink? | 两位要喝点什么吗 |
[07:38] | Just an iced hibiscus tea. | 我要一杯木槿冰茶 |
[07:40] | I’ll have a Long Island… juice. | 那我要长岛…果汁 |
[07:45] | Oh, sorry. | 抱歉 |
[07:49] | I got to take this. | 我接个电话 |
[07:52] | What? | 怎么了 |
[07:54] | Double shot of Patrón in my juice? | 在我的果汁里加两份培恩龙舌兰酒 |
[07:57] | And if you narc on me, I will cut you. | 如果你告发我 我会削了你 |
[08:00] | Okay. | 好了 |
[08:06] | ♪Sunday, Funday, better better a Monday♪ | ♪快乐星期天呀 好过星期一呀♪ |
[08:10] | ♪Can only do it one way♪ | ♪只有一种享受方法呀♪ |
[08:12] | ♪And that is the drunk way♪ | ♪喝得醉醺醺的呀♪ |
[08:15] | – Gag. – Really. | -令人作呕 -确实 |
[08:18] | My friends are all a bit posh. Try not to embarrass me. | 我的朋友都是上流人士 尽量别让我难堪 |
[08:21] | I am here to binge drink, | 我来就是要豪饮 |
[08:22] | read the Guardian on my phone, and stumble home. | 在手机上看《卫报》 然后蹒跚回家 |
[08:25] | I don’t make friends. | 我才不交朋友 |
[08:28] | This is Charlie, Mariel and Flynn. | 这是查理 马瑞尔和弗林 |
[08:30] | – Guys, Jimmy. – Hello. | -各位 这是吉米 -你好 |
[08:32] | Oh, six mimosas. | 来6杯含羞草鸡尾酒 |
[08:33] | Actually, just bring a bottle of champagne | 算了 直接来一瓶香槟 |
[08:35] | and a pitcher of juice. | 和一扎果汁吧 |
[08:39] | – What do you do, Jimmy? – Novelist. | -你是做什么的 吉米 -小说家 |
[08:40] | – How do you know Katherine? – Back home. | -你怎么认识凯瑟琳的 -在老家认识的 |
[08:47] | Same question, politely directed back at you. | 我想友好地回问你们同样的问题 |
[08:50] | Well, actually, we all met after Mariel gave a TED Talk | 其实我们都是在马瑞尔做了关于习惯持续性的 |
[08:53] | about habit persistence. | TED演讲之后认识的 |
[08:55] | I’m a macro-economist. | 我是个宏观经济学家 |
[08:56] | Halfway interesting. What about you two? | 倒也算是有趣 你们两个呢 |
[08:59] | Architecture critic for the Times. | 我是《洛杉矶时报》的建筑评论家 |
[09:01] | I work at JPL. | 我在喷气推进实验室工作 |
[09:02] | Tell Jimmy about your robot. | 跟吉米说说你的机器人 |
[09:04] | I don’t want to bore the guy. | 我不想让他觉得无聊 |
[09:06] | I’m building a self-guided cryobot to drill the ice deposits on Mars. | 我正在造一种自导破冰机器人去钻火星的冰层 |
[09:09] | – It’s got spider legs. – What?! | -它长着蜘蛛腿 -什么 |
[09:12] | – So, tell us about your book. – Oh, it’s just a spank book. | -跟我们说说你的书 -就是一本快感书 |
[09:14] | Nobody’s read it with dry hands. | 没人读了后手会是干的 |
[09:16] | Oh, you’ll appreciate this. | 有一点你肯定赞赏 |
[09:17] | I wrote most of it in a tree house I designed. | 我大部分都是在我自己设计的树屋里写的 |
[09:20] | Hammered it together and everything, with the big nails. | 钉钉锤锤造出来 用的是超大的钉 |
[09:23] | Did you hear the ad for next week’s “Tip of My Tongue”? | 你们听了下周《话到嘴边》的广告吗 |
[09:25] | – That Tommy Vietor is so witty. – Hush. | -汤米·维特真是太有才了 -安静 |
[09:28] | So, what are you guys all doing later? | 你们晚点要做什么 |
[09:29] | Heading to Pour Haus to taste their Uco Valley Malbecs. | 去普尔豪斯户外酒吧尝尝优克谷梅贝尔红酒 |
[09:32] | Then, we have a reservation for an escape room. | 然后我们还预定了密室逃脱 |
[09:34] | It’s labeled “Impossible,” but we’ll see about that. | 据说不可能逃脱 不过等着瞧吧 |
[09:37] | And the Astrid Jorgen, | 然后阿斯特丽德·约尔延 |
[09:38] | the Greenlandic Scream-Singer, | 那个格陵兰嘶吼歌手 |
[09:40] | is performing in Chinatown. | 要在唐人街演出 |
[09:42] | Would you want to come? | 你想一起去吗 |
[09:43] | Wish he could, but you’re busy today, aren’t you, Jimmy? | 我也希望他能去 可你今天很忙 对吧 吉米 |
[09:46] | Never! If I’m being honest, | 从不忙 老实说 |
[09:48] | I basically do nothing most of the time. | 我大多时候什么也不干 |
[09:51] | Yesterday, I nodded off halfway through second breakfast. | 昨天 我第二顿早餐吃到一半就打瞌睡了 |
[10:00] | I almost wonder if I should take this and sell it on eBay. | 我竟然有点纠结要不要拿下这件去网上转卖 |
[10:05] | No, ’80s. | 不行 80年代风 |
[10:06] | Becca! Lindsay! | 贝卡 琳赛 |
[10:08] | This is my car! | 这是我的车 |
[10:11] | This is a total panty-soaker. | 这车简直酷得让人直接高潮 |
[10:13] | They threw in the Teen Safety Package for free. | 随车免费赠送青少年安全套餐 |
[10:16] | So, my phone won’t work while the engine’s on, | 所以发动机没熄火时 我的手机就不能用 |
[10:18] | and it beeps if I swear. Max says… | 而且我骂脏话就会被消音 麦克斯说… |
[10:21] | “Max says, Max says.” | “麦克斯说这 麦克斯说那” |
[10:22] | Lindsay says it makes you look doable. | 琳赛说这车让人家想上你 |
[10:25] | But we do it all the time. | 但我们不是经常操吗 |
[10:26] | Please stop. | 住嘴吧 |
[10:30] | Okay, uh, careful, please. | 好吧 请小心点 |
[10:32] | – Gentle, be gentle. – How’d you nab a future car? | -轻点 轻点 -你怎么能搞到未来车 |
[10:36] | Well, um, with my, uh, spotty credit history, | 鉴于我的信用记录黑历史满满 |
[10:39] | I had to take out a seven-year loan with 20% APR. | 我不得不贷七年款 年利率20% |
[10:42] | And as soon as I put my foot on the gas, | 一旦我踩了油门 |
[10:45] | it started depreciating. | 车就开始贬值 |
[10:46] | Well, I “De-preciate” this car. | 反正我超欣赏这辆车 |
[10:48] | Maybe I should cut my losses, return it, | 或许我该减少损失 把车退了 |
[10:49] | and get something reasonable. | 合理消费 买点实际的东西 |
[10:51] | I’m just a grunt… | 我就是个底层… |
[10:52] | – Why is he still talking? – Bored. Drive now. | -他为什么还在叨逼 -无趣 快开车 |
[10:58] | Jesus Christ, my job is a mess. | 天呐 我的工作一团糟 |
[11:00] | And I’m still trying to figure out | 我还在想办法在度假期间 |
[11:01] | the vacation hand-off with Boone. | 把孩子甩给布恩 |
[11:03] | And Neil keeps bugging me about wanting braces. | 尼尔一直烦我说想要戴牙齿矫正器 |
[11:06] | I’m sorry, would… | 不好意思 你… |
[11:07] | would you mind if I ordered a drink? | 你介意我点杯酒吗 |
[11:09] | Drinking during the day? | 大白天就喝酒吗 |
[11:11] | Bring us two alcoholic drinks. | 给我们上两杯含酒精的 |
[11:13] | – The same as…? – Yes, the same as each other. | -两杯都跟之前… -没错 两杯都一样 |
[11:15] | Ketel One martini with a twist. | 坎特一号马提尼加柠檬 |
[11:16] | I don’t even know what that is. | 你在说什么我都听不懂呢 |
[11:17] | Two of those. | 就来两杯那个 |
[11:21] | I thought the pain of divorce would end with the papers, | 我以为离婚的痛苦在拿到离婚证那一刻就会终结 |
[11:23] | but a breakup is the gift that keeps on giving. | 但分开之后痛苦依然在不断持续着 |
[11:26] | Amen to that. | 赞成 |
[11:29] | So… what are the other questions you have on your list? | 你的清单上还有什么问题 |
[11:32] | You could tell I had a list? | 你看出来我列了清单吗 |
[11:35] | I copied it from a blog. | 我都是从博客上抄来的 |
[11:38] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[11:40] | “True or false: dinosaur bones are a lie sent by the devil.” | 判断题 恐龙骨骼是恶魔散布的谎言 |
[11:45] | Guess it was a Christian blog? | 这大概是个基督徒的博客吧 |
[11:47] | Bible’s got some horny parts. | 《圣经》里有不少淫荡的内容 |
[12:11] | Stay away from those lemons! | 离这些柠檬远一点 |
[12:12] | Just because they’re hanging over the sidewalk, | 它们悬挂在人行道边上 |
[12:14] | doesn’t mean they’re free! | 并不代表它们就是免费的 |
[12:16] | You people act like | 你们这些人搞得好像 |
[12:17] | I don’t need these lemons, but I do. | 我不需要这些柠檬一样 但我需要 |
[12:19] | I need them very badly! | 我非常需要它们 |
[12:22] | It’s Becca and Lindsay. | 我们是贝卡和琳赛 |
[12:24] | Cottumaccio. | 卡特玛乔的女儿 |
[12:26] | You railed our mom. | 你操过我妈 |
[12:28] | Sorry, you railed our mother, in the ’90s? | 不好意思 你90年代时操过我们的母亲 |
[12:34] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
[12:37] | Becca? Lindsay? | 贝卡 琳赛 |
[12:52] | This is good. | 这真好喝 |
[12:53] | It’s Country Time. My lemons aren’t juicing lemons. | 是乡村时光牌的成品 我的柠檬不能用来榨汁 |
[12:57] | So… what happened? | 所以…到底是怎么回事 |
[13:02] | I loved your mom. | 我当年很爱你们的妈妈 |
[13:05] | And when she left me, I was devastated. | 她抛弃我后 我都崩溃了 |
[13:07] | I couldn’t even stay in the city anymore. | 我甚至都无法再在城市待下去 |
[13:08] | Everything reminded me of her. | 一切都会让我想到她 |
[13:10] | One day, I’m sitting on my lanai, | 有一天 我坐在走廊上 |
[13:12] | watching my gardeners, | 看着我的园丁 |
[13:13] | and I thought to myself, “That’s what I want to do.” | 然后心想 “那就是我想做的事” |
[13:16] | So, I told my agent, | 所以我跟经纪人说 |
[13:17] | “From now on, I’m offer-only,” | “从今以后 不试镜 只接专门找我演的戏” |
[13:18] | and I moved out here, and I put all my energy | 然后搬到了这儿 把一切精力都用来 |
[13:21] | into my lemon grove. | 打理我的柠檬果园 |
[13:22] | One thing I know for sure: | 有一点我很确定 |
[13:25] | lemons won’t ever walk out on me. | 柠檬永远不会离我而去 |
[13:27] | Then why did you just disappear? | 那你为什么消失得无影无踪 |
[13:29] | Was it my bed-wetting? | 是因为我尿床吗 |
[13:30] | Because I stopped eventually, mostly, sort of. | 我后来基本上不尿床了 差不多 算是吧 |
[13:32] | Your mother forbade me from ever contacting you again. | 你们的妈妈禁止我再联系你们 |
[13:34] | I thought you knew that. | 我以为你们都知道呢 |
[13:39] | Listening to her is one of my biggest regrets. | 听她的话是我最后悔的事之一 |
[13:42] | That, and turning down Die Hard. | 另外一件就是拒绝参演《虎胆龙威》 |
[13:44] | – Why would our mother do that? – I don’t know. | -我妈为什么要这么做 -我不知道 |
[13:46] | I wanted to ask her, but she had moved on to dating John Stamos. | 我本想问她 但她开始跟约翰·斯塔莫斯约会了 |
[13:50] | You do not mess with that guy. | 可别惹那个家伙 |
[13:52] | I mean, the Beach Boys were so scared of him, | 海滩男孩组合当年超级怕他 |
[13:53] | they let him pretend to play bongos on “Kokomo.” | 不得不同意他在《科科莫》里假装敲邦哥鼓 |
[13:57] | Well, I don’t buy it. | 我不信 |
[13:59] | You don’t just walk away from people you love. | 你不能就这么离开你爱的人 |
[14:02] | What could I do, girls? | 我能怎么办呢 姑娘们 |
[14:03] | I had no choice. | 我没有选择啊 |
[14:08] | I’ve always wondered– | 我一直好奇呢 |
[14:10] | did you ever get Princess Pamplemousse to moonwalk? | 你后来有没有教会柚子公主走太空步 |
[14:14] | I did. | 我成功了 |
[14:16] | Ultimately, it led to a hairline fracture in her shin, | 但最后导致了它的胫骨骨裂 |
[14:19] | and we had to shoot her, but… | 我们不得不射杀了它 但 |
[14:20] | – she got me that blue ribbon. – And, Lindsay, | -它给我赢回了那条蓝丝带 -琳赛 |
[14:23] | you had always talked about being a dinosaur. | 你以前一直说要变成恐龙呢 |
[14:25] | How’d that go? | 后来怎么样了 |
[14:28] | So this is Mom’s fault. | 所以这都是妈妈的错 |
[14:32] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
[14:33] | We got to go pour water on a witch. | 我们得回去审判女巫了 |
[14:36] | Thanks, La Bamba-Dad. | 谢谢 “青春传奇”老爹 |
[14:38] | Good luck with your lemons. | 祝你的柠檬好运 |
[14:41] | Oh, I need more than luck. | 我需要的可不止是好运 |
[14:50] | I’m tasting plum, with hints of violet. | 我尝出了梅子味 略带紫罗兰的清香 |
[14:53] | And then licorice and, um, barberry. | 然后是欧亚甘草和伏牛花子 |
[14:56] | It seems the fruit was harvested too early. | 果子似乎采摘得过早了些 |
[15:00] | Oh, why do you say that? | 为什么这么说 |
[15:01] | Because I’m tasting notes of statutory grape. | 因为我尝到了”法定强奸”的味道 |
[15:01] | 法定强奸(Statutory rape) 指与未到达年龄的未成年人发生性行为 不管对方是否愿意 都算是强奸 与过早摘下的葡萄呼应 | |
[15:22] | I’m thinking it might be the outside ones that… | 我觉得可能是外边的那些… |
[15:25] | You can tilt. | 你可以试试 |
[15:26] | No! No, no, no. | 不 不 不 不 |
[15:42] | Rystar! That says rystar! | “莱斯特” 这上面说”莱斯特” |
[15:44] | Uh, Rystar… knight! | 莱斯特 就是骑士 |
[15:45] | Rystar means knight! | 莱斯特的意思是骑士 |
[15:46] | Night! Uh… nighttime! | 谐音”晚上” 夜晚 |
[15:48] | No, here, here, here! | 不 在这 在这 |
[15:49] | Here’s the knight, here’s the knight! | 骑士在这 骑士在这 |
[15:50] | 55 55! | |
[15:52] | Ooh, the lock, the lock. Yeah. | 锁 锁 对 |
[15:55] | Oh, I can’t breathe. | 我无法呼吸了 |
[15:56] | I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe! | 我无法呼吸 我无法呼吸了 |
[15:59] | – Photos. – I’m claustrophobic, can you let me out? | -照片 -我有幽闭恐惧症 你能让我出去吗 |
[16:02] | Let me out! | 让我出去 |
[16:05] | Let me out! Let me out! | 让我出去 让我出去 |
[16:15] | Ta-da! I escaped us. | 瞧 我带大家逃出去了 |
[16:17] | Stupid. | 蠢货 |
[16:19] | There is this one mom in the PTA | 家长教师协会里有个小孩的妈妈 |
[16:23] | that I think about knifing so much, | 我真的很想捅死她 |
[16:27] | I should take out a restraining order on me. | 我应该申请一个对我的限制令 |
[16:29] | You are nuts, hooker! | 你真是个疯子 小婊子 |
[16:31] | I used to be fun. | 我以前很有趣的 |
[16:34] | I used to wear low-rise jeans and ‘shroom in Joshua Tree. | 我以前常在约书亚树国家公园穿着低腰裤 吸毒 |
[16:38] | And now, I have to be the grown-up, but I want to be fun. | 现在我得做个成年人 但我也想做一个有趣的人 |
[16:44] | Hey, now! | 别这么说 |
[16:45] | You are just a lady doing her A-plus best. | 你是个很出色的女人 |
[16:48] | I wish I had a mom like you. Can I call you Mom? | 我也想有一个像你一样的妈 我能叫你妈吗 |
[16:52] | I’m glad Boone found someone nice. | 我很高兴布恩找到了一个好姑娘 |
[16:55] | He was so lonely for so long. | 他已经一个人孤单太久了 |
[17:00] | Let’s get another round. | 再来一轮酒 |
[17:05] | One thing I do miss is the spontaneousness. | 不过我很怀念当年那种随心所欲的感觉 |
[17:08] | On our second date, | 我们第二次约会的时候 |
[17:10] | Boone drove us to Portland to… | 布恩开车载我们去波特兰… |
[17:11] | No. Gretch, don’t black out. | 不 格雷琴 别晕 |
[17:15] | Not now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! | 现在不是时候 不 不不不 |
[17:37] | Oh, God. | 天呐 |
[17:38] | Oh, no. Why is this? | 不 为什么会这样 |
[17:41] | Harder! | 再用力点 |
[17:46] | Oh, God. | 天呐 |
[17:48] | This is fun. | 这真有趣 |
[17:49] | I feel fun! | 我觉得很有趣 |
[17:53] | Oh, no… | 不要啊 |
[17:54] | Here I go. Here I go. | 我的高潮来了 我要喷了 |
[17:57] | Boomtown! | 爽爆了 |
[18:11] | Statutory grape. | 过早摘下的葡萄 |
[18:13] | I should sell that one to the funny-pages. | 我应该把这个笑点卖给笑话书出版社 |
[18:16] | Edgar, call a tow truck. | 埃德加 叫拖车过来 |
[18:18] | Someone’s left a try-hardy luxury sedan in my car park. | 有人把一辆豪华轿车停在我的车位上了 |
[18:22] | Actually, that’s mine. | 实际上 那是我的车 |
[18:24] | But… you’re poor. | 但…你是个穷逼啊 |
[18:26] | I’m not poor. I’m a writer now. | 我不穷 我现在是个写手 |
[18:28] | That doesn’t matter. You have poor brain. | 那也于事无补 你的头脑里知识很贫乏 |
[18:31] | Do you know how I know? Because I have poor brain. | 知道我是怎么知道的吗 因为我的知识也很贫乏 |
[18:34] | – Jimmy! – Do you know | -吉米 -你知道 |
[18:35] | what I did with the outsized advance for my first book? | 我用处女作的超大额预付金做了什么吗 |
[18:37] | I bought a house that I couldn’t afford. | 我买了一幢我买不起的房子 |
[18:40] | I got an FHA loan, | 我申请了联邦住房局的贷款 |
[18:41] | so I only put down 3.5%, | 所以只付了3.5%的钱 |
[18:44] | but it’s an ARM on a balloon structure, | 但那是在大额尾付贷款上的可调利率贷款 |
[18:48] | which means by the end of next year, | 也就是说 在明年年底前 |
[18:49] | I may have to burn it for the insurance, | 我可能得为了保险金把房子烧了 |
[18:52] | which I do not have. | 但我根本没上保险 |
[18:55] | Return the car. | 把车退回去 |
[18:56] | No, Jimmy. | 不 吉米 |
[18:57] | You forfeited your right to tell me what to do. | 你已经丧失了命令我怎么做的权利 |
[19:14] | Maximus. | 麦克斯 |
[19:17] | Oh, the whip? | 豪车吗 |
[19:22] | You got to come check it out. | 你必须过来看看 |
[19:25] | I am so glad you suggested I buy it. | 我真的很高兴你建议我买下它 |
[19:30] | Hell yeah, I sprung for the all- vegan leather package. | 当然了 我当然是要全纯素皮革的了 |
[19:37] | Mom! We’re coming in! | 妈 我们要进来了 |
[19:41] | Hi, girls. | 好啊 姑娘们 |
[19:42] | So, wait, you dated John Stamos, | 等等 你先和约翰·斯塔莫斯交往 |
[19:44] | then Dave Coulier? | 然后才是达夫·考利尔 |
[19:46] | – That is not the direction it’s supposed to go. – I know. | -先帅后丑 不该是这种顺序啊 -我知道 |
[19:50] | What’s going on here? | 什么情况 |
[19:52] | Why is La Bamba-Dad in your house-car? | 为什么”青春传奇”老爹在你的房车里 |
[19:54] | And which is it, a house or a car? | 这到底是什么 房子还是车 |
[19:56] | And where does the poop go? | 粪便怎么处理 |
[19:58] | Your visit inspired me to reach out to Faye after all these years. | 你们的造访让我想在多年后再次联系菲 |
[20:02] | I’m so glad you all reconnected. | 我很高兴你们都重新取得了联系 |
[20:04] | Well, we’re glad too, Mom. | 我们也很高兴 妈 |
[20:06] | Because we started to think the reason we never heard from him | 因为我们本来以为 我们从没收到过他的消息 |
[20:08] | was because there was something wrong with us. | 是因为我们自身有什么毛病 |
[20:10] | But, now we know, there’s nothing wrong with me at all. | 但现在我们知道了 我一点毛病都没有 |
[20:12] | He told us you forbidded him from ever contacting us. | 他告诉我们 你禁止他再联系我们 |
[20:16] | We’re inviting first team, Faye. | 我们要邀请第一队上场了 菲 |
[20:18] | Well? | 怎么说 |
[20:19] | It’s true. I did. | 没错 是我禁止的 |
[20:21] | Why would you do that? | 你为什么要做那种事 |
[20:23] | Because I could see how close you all were getting, | 因为我看出你们的关系变得越来越亲密 |
[20:25] | and I knew it wasn’t going to last between Lou and me. | 我心里清楚我跟卢之间不可能长久 |
[20:28] | I did it to protect you. | 我那么做是为了保护你们 |
[20:30] | Cameras are ready, Faye. | 摄像机都准备好了 菲 |
[20:32] | – Will you give us a second?! – We are very busy | -你能给我们一点时间吗 -我们正忙着 |
[20:33] | blaming our mother for everything! | 把一切过错都怪罪到妈妈头上 |
[20:34] | – This is very, very important! – Go, go, go! | -这事非常 非常重要 -滚 快滚 |
[20:38] | You two are adults. | 你们已经是成年人了 |
[20:40] | You’re goddamned baked. | 你们现在嗑药嗑高了 |
[20:41] | If your lives are a mess, you figure it out. | 如果你们的人生一团糟 自己想办法解决 |
[20:54] | She’s right, you know. | 其实她说得对 |
[20:56] | Instead of sitting around being angry at your mom, | 我当年可没有消沉下去 怨恨你们的妈妈 |
[20:58] | I decided to buy some land in the country | 我决定去乡下买一块地 |
[21:00] | and focus my energy on growing a real orchard. | 把精力都放在了开发果园上 |
[21:03] | And now, I just kick back and wait for La Croix to call. | 现在我回来了 等着汽水行业巨头给我打电话 |
[21:08] | You can’t solve your problems by blaming the past. | 怪罪过去 并不能解决问题 |
[21:12] | Then how do we solve them? | 那到底要怎么解决 |
[21:16] | You have a kid. | 你有个孩子 |
[21:17] | Be a good parent. | 当个好母亲 |
[21:18] | Break the cycle. | 打破恶循环 |
[21:19] | It’s too late. | 太迟了 |
[21:21] | Vernon’s her father. | 她的父亲是傻逼弗南 |
[21:23] | Tallulah’s headed straight for the pole. | 塔卢拉的人生注定已经毁了 |
[21:25] | What about me? | 那我呢 |
[21:27] | I don’t have a kid. | 我没有孩子 |
[21:28] | You were such a giving child. | 你以前是个很有奉献精神的孩子 |
[21:30] | It’s true. | 是真的 |
[21:32] | She used to dump her dinner in the toilet | 她以前经常把晚餐倒在马桶里 |
[21:34] | because she felt bad that it only ever got to eat poop. | 因为马桶只能吃屎 她觉得心里不好受 |
[21:37] | Maybe you’re supposed to help other people. | 或许你的使命是帮助他人 |
[21:41] | Help people. | 帮助他人 |
[21:44] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[21:45] | In fact, you’ve already started by helping me do something | 实际上 你已经开始了 你帮我做了一件 |
[21:48] | that I’ve wanted to do for years: | 我多年前就想做的事 |
[21:51] | have sex with your mom one last time. | 那就是跟你们的妈妈最后做一次爱 |
[21:59] | Your friends are so sophisticated. | 你的朋友们太高端了 |
[22:02] | You know, my only friends are | 我的朋友们完全不一样 |
[22:03] | this divorced girl with citrus blindness | 比如一个对柑橘类水果分不清的离婚女孩 |
[22:06] | and a redheaded doctor who might be a legal imbecile. | 一个可能是白痴的红头发医生 |
[22:11] | Are they, uh, available tomorrow? | 他们明天还有空吗 |
[22:14] | I’m not bringing you around my friends again. | 我不会再让你接触我的朋友们了 |
[22:19] | What? | 什么 |
[22:21] | They didn’t like me? | 他们不喜欢我吗 |
[22:22] | You behaved like a complete rube. | 你表现得跟个乡巴佬一样 |
[22:24] | You were our redheaded doctor! | 你就是我们圈子里的红发白痴医生 |
[22:26] | Jimmy, I moved across the world on purpose. | 吉米 我是故意穿越大洋来到这里的 |
[22:29] | All you do is remind me of the past. | 但你却只会让我想起我不堪的过去 |
[22:32] | Bye, Jimmy. | 再见 吉米 |
[22:35] | Wait. | 等等 |
[22:40] | Can we still go to JPL? | 我们还能去喷气推进实验室吗 |
[22:41] | I want to see the spider robot. | 我想看那个蜘蛛机器人 |
[22:57] | Right? It’s like getting drunk on salsa. | 对吧 就像喝萨尔萨辣酱喝醉了 |
[23:04] | Oh, um, Whitney texted the okay. | 威特妮发短信说没问题 |
[23:06] | She really, really likes you. | 她真的真的很喜欢你 |
[23:10] | Oh, that’s such good news. | 真是个好消息 |
[23:12] | Also, they refunded me the seven bucks for The Babadook. | 并且 他们把观看《鬼书》的7块钱费用退给我了 |
[23:15] | Suckers! | 傻逼们 |
[23:24] | Good job, you. She’s a tough nut to crack. | 好样的 要搞定她可不容易 |
[23:27] | I had to go deep. | 我不得不使出浑身解数 |
[23:28] | Really knuckle down. | 真正地”逼”出成果 |
[23:32] | Boomtown. | 爽爆了 |