| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:53] | – How you feeling? – Good. | -你感觉如何 -挺好的 |
| [00:55] | You sure you’re okay he’s coming? | 你真的不介意他来吗 |
| [00:59] | I’m not angry anymore. | 我已经不生气了 |
| [01:01] | I think it might even be good to see him. | 而且能见到他 说不定是好事 |
| [01:04] | Good. | 那就好 |
| [01:22] | What’s your end-of-life plan? | 你希望的死亡方式是怎样的 |
| [01:24] | Easy, toss me off something. | 简单 把我从高处抛下来 |
| [01:27] | Huh? | 什么 |
| [01:27] | I want to know how it feels to fly. | 我想知道飞翔的感觉 |
| [01:30] | Or sex murder me. | 或者用性杀死我 |
| [01:31] | Yeah, scratch that. Sex murder me for sure. | 没错 划掉重来 绝对是用性杀死我 |
| [01:34] | I’ll be on Nancy Grace 24/7, | 那样我就能日夜被司法节目讨论 |
| [01:36] | a nation will mourn. | 全国人民都会为我哀悼 |
| [01:38] | Don’t let Ron Howard’s daughter play me in the movie. | 不过别让导演朗·霍华德的女儿在电影里演我 |
| [01:40] | We have beef. | 我跟她有仇 |
| [01:42] | I want to be cremated, | 我想被火化 |
| [01:43] | with my ashes kept for eternity in an urn on your mantel. | 永远装有我骨灰的瓮就放在你的壁炉架上 |
| [01:47] | You may remarry, just no one sexier than me. | 你可以再婚 但不能找比我性感的人 |
| [01:51] | The one exception being Mark Ruffalo. | 唯一的例外是演员马克·鲁法洛 |
| [01:53] | Fair enough. | 好吧 |
| [01:59] | Actually, I’m pretty tired. | 其实我很累了 不想做 |
| [02:01] | Oh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [02:03] | Okay, good night. | 好了 晚安 |
| [02:06] | It’s just that… | 只是… |
| [02:10] | uh, we’ve-we’ve sort of created an expectation where we do sex | 我们似乎有不成文的默契 只要一方想做 |
| [02:14] | – whenever one of us wants it. – And yet, I’m still tired. | -另一方就会配合 -但我还是很累 |
| [02:17] | – Are you mad about the florist? – I’m fine. | -你是不是为花商的事在生气 -没有 |
| [02:19] | – I want to make it up to you. – Don’t bother. | -我想补偿你 -不必了 |
| [02:21] | – You can’t. – How can we make it even? | -你补偿不了 -那我们怎样才能扯平 |
| [02:23] | Do you want to sock me in the face? I’m extra bruisey, | 你想揍我的脸吗 我很容易留下淤青 |
| [02:26] | so you’ll get to relish the effects for weeks. | 你在接下来几周都能细细品味复仇的快感 |
| [02:28] | There’s nothing you can do about getting your dick sucked. | 无论你怎么做 都改变不了别人给你舔屌的事实 |
| [02:30] | I could suck a dick. | 我可以去舔屌啊 |
| [02:33] | To even it out. | 那就扯平了 |
| [02:34] | Like those “Take a penny, leave a penny” Cups. | 就像收银台上那种”拿走一毛 放回一毛”的零钱桶 |
| [02:37] | Make it a zero-blowjob sum gain for me. | 一来一往 相当于我没被口交 |
| [02:40] | Sounds fair. You do that. Suck a dick, Jimmy. | 听起来很有道理 你去舔屌吧 吉米 |
| [02:44] | No, I’m serious. | 不 我是认真的 |
| [02:45] | Suck a dick. Suck a dick! | 舔屌吧 快舔屌 |
| [02:48] | Alternately, just let me be mad. | 要么 让我继续生气 |
| [03:14] | Next, we have examples of some of our most popular fillings. | 接下来 请尝尝我们最受欢迎的几款馅料 |
| [03:18] | Uh, Butterscotch-Cream Cheese, | 奶油硬糖芝士 |
| [03:19] | Almond Ganache, Lemon Curd, Earl Grey Medley, | 杏仁甘纳许 柠檬酱 伯爵茶什锦 |
| [03:23] | Apricot Jam, Kiwi-Pistachio Buttercream. | 杏子酱 奇异果开心果奶油乳酪 |
| [03:26] | Hey, you wouldn’t think kiwi and pistachio | 话说 一般人都觉得把奇异果和开心果 |
| [03:29] | would go well together, and yet, they don’t. | 放在一起不搭 没错 确实不搭 |
| [03:33] | – So when’s the big day? – June 9. | -你们的大喜日子是哪一天 -6月9日 |
| [03:35] | – Six-nine. Nice. – Sex number. | -69式 真不错 -性爱体位数字 |
| [03:38] | They get it. What about you? | 他们听懂69的哏了 你们呢 |
| [03:40] | We’re already married. Shh. | 我们已经结婚了 保密 |
| [03:41] | We got totally caught up in the hype | 我们当时被兴奋冲昏了头脑 |
| [03:43] | and spent way too much money on our wedding. | 为婚礼花了太多钱 |
| [03:45] | Our ring bearer was an actual bear. | 我们找了一头真的熊来当送戒花童 |
| [03:46] | Deep-sixed our finances for years. | 我们把未来几年的钱都花光了 |
| [03:48] | So we stick it to the wedding industrial complex whenever we can. | 所以我们一有机会就溜进婚姻产业机构蹭吃蹭喝 |
| [03:51] | It feels so good. | 这种感觉太美妙了 |
| [03:52] | Yeah. Rachel has a personality disorder. | 没错 瑞秋有人格障碍 |
| [03:54] | I shoplift. I mean, I used to. | 我常在商店偷东西 是以前啦 |
| [03:56] | So scamming free cakes or menu tastings | 所以骗免费蛋糕或免费试菜吃 |
| [03:58] | really scratches the itch. | 真的能解我心头之痒 |
| [03:59] | It’s our third tasting of the day. | 这是我们今天第三顿试吃了 |
| [04:01] | Quinn is in AA. | 奎恩参加了戒酒互助会 |
| [04:03] | Micro-transgressions make drinking | 轻微违反戒酒规定让喝难喝的苏打水 |
| [04:05] | fucking seltzer water tolerable. | 都没那么难忍受了 |
| [04:07] | I love shoplifting. | 我超喜欢在商店偷东西 |
| [04:09] | I basically stole this whole outfit. | 这套衣服基本上都是偷来的 |
| [04:10] | – And Jimmy’s a total alcoholic. – Hmm? | -吉米也是个不折不扣的酒鬼 -什么 |
| [04:13] | If you guys want our help gaming the system, | 如果你们想学学怎么占体制的便宜 |
| [04:15] | we could save you a buck or two. | 我们能帮你们省点钱 |
| [04:17] | We have low to no morals, so we would be totally up for that. | 我们的道德底线低到近乎没有 所以绝对愿意 |
| [04:20] | Great. | 太好了 |
| [04:23] | Jimmy, we’re gonna have couple friends. | 吉米 我们要有夫妇朋友了 |
| [04:26] | The hardest of passes. | 绝对不要 |
| [04:28] | Couple friends, Jimmy. | 夫妇朋友耶 吉米 |
| [04:29] | All married people need couple friends. | 已婚人士都需要夫妇朋友 |
| [04:32] | It’s a must-have. Couple friends. | 那是必须要有的 夫妇朋友 |
| [04:34] | Stop saying “Couple friends.” | 别再说”夫妇朋友”了 |
| [04:35] | We are not going to have… | 我们才不会有… |
| [04:37] | Couple friends! | 夫妇朋友 |
| [04:40] | Thank you so much for having us over, you guys. | 非常感谢你们邀请我们来 |
| [04:42] | Oh, we love wine hangs on the patio. | 我们很喜欢约朋友来露台喝酒 |
| [04:44] | We have never done this once. | 我们以前从没这么做过 |
| [04:45] | Why not? You have a gorgeous view. | 为什么不呢 你这儿的景致好极了 |
| [04:47] | – We do? – Do we? | -是吗 -有吗 |
| [04:50] | Here is our wedding binder. | 这是我们的婚礼活页夹 |
| [04:52] | The orange tabs are the easiest places to scam. | 橙色标签的是最容易耍手段的地方 |
| [04:54] | Purple means you can get actual cash out of them. | 紫色的意味着你可以从里面赚到真金白银 |
| [04:57] | DJs, photographers, flowers. | DJ 摄影师 花 |
| [05:00] | We may actually be in the market for a new florist. Right, Jimmy? | 我们可能得重新找个花商了 对吧 吉米 |
| [05:04] | Venues. | 场地 |
| [05:05] | – Very cool. – I’m glad we could do this. | -真酷 -我很高兴我们能这样聚聚 |
| [05:08] | Hey, how are you guys? | 话说 你们之间怎么样 |
| [05:09] | – Shh. – Oh, they can’t hear us. | -嘘 -她们听不见我们说话的 |
| [05:12] | We’re not really even here anymore. Watch. | 我们甚至已经不存在了 瞧好了 |
| [05:15] | I don’t believe in the Holocaust. | 我觉得纳粹大屠杀完全是编造的 |
| [05:18] | – So, example… – I like that you can smoke there. | -比如… -能在那里抽烟 真好 |
| [05:21] | Let me try. | 让我试试 |
| [05:22] | Um, Gretchen, you eat your butt, | 格雷琴 你去吃你的屁股吧 |
| [05:26] | and farts from your butt. | 以及屁股里放出的屁 |
| [05:31] | So, why’d you ask about me and Gretchen? | 所以 你为什么要问我和格雷琴之间怎么样 |
| [05:33] | Oh, well, planning a wedding can be stressful. | 这个嘛 策划婚礼压力山大 |
| [05:36] | Also, because of the little thing with the florist. | 更何况还出了花商那个小插曲 |
| [05:40] | Rachel and Gretchen have been texting. | 瑞秋和格雷琴一直在互通短信 |
| [05:41] | So I gather privacy goes out the window with couple friends? | 所以夫妇朋友之间 就没有隐私可言了是吗 |
| [05:44] | Jimmy, you have no secrets anymore. | 吉米 你已经没有秘密了 |
| [05:48] | – Fantastic. – But seriously, | -好极了 -但说真的 |
| [05:50] | if you ever need someone to listen, I’m here. | 如果你需要找人倾诉 我随时奉陪 |
| [05:52] | Okay, Michael Messner, sociologist | 好啊 社会学家迈克尔·梅辛纳 |
| [05:54] | and proponent of more emotional elasticity | 主张传统男性角色 |
| [05:57] | in traditional masculine roles. | 该有更多的情绪空间 |
| [05:58] | I know, I know. I’m a big old softy. | 我懂的 我成了多愁善感的软汉 |
| [06:01] | AA will do that to you. | 匿名戒酒会就是会让人变成这样 |
| [06:04] | Never stop drinking, Jimmy. | 永远别戒酒 吉米 |
| [06:06] | It’s horrible. | 那太可怕了 |
| [06:10] | Man, I would love to come out here | 兄弟 我真想什么时候能够来这里 |
| [06:14] | and fly my drone over the reservoir sometime. | 操控无人机在水库上畅快地飞一圈 |
| [06:16] | Oh, I have a drone, too. | 我也有一台无人机 |
| [06:18] | Well, “Had.” | 曾经有过 |
| [06:20] | They really should put a “Return Home” Button on the controls. | 他们真应该在遥控器上加个”回家”键 |
| [06:24] | They do. | 有啊 |
| [06:29] | What do you know? | 天呐 你懂得真多 |
| [06:37] | So, um, what did Gretchen tell Rachel about the, uh, | 所以…格雷琴是怎么跟瑞秋说的 |
| [06:41] | you know, t-the time I let someone else fly my drone? | 关于…我让别人”飞”了我的「无人鸡」的事 |
| [06:45] | Was she upset about the flight? | 她对我那次”飞鸡事件”很生气吗 |
| [06:48] | Because she’s been cagey about it. | 因为对这件事她一直不愿多说 |
| [06:51] | Well, how would you feel if someone flew her drone? | 如果别的男人飞了她的”无人逼” 你会怎么想呢 |
| [06:57] | So this place, these are the photographers. | 这个地方 这些是摄影师 |
| [07:00] | This is the whole section of photographers. | 这一块整个都是摄影师 |
| [07:02] | This guy is hot, he’s good, he’s passionate. | 这家伙超性感 他技术不错 他特别热情 |
| [07:10] | They’re so cool. | 他们酷毙了 |
| [07:13] | Do you think she likes me? I think she likes me. | 你觉得她喜欢我吗 我觉得她挺喜欢我 |
| [07:18] | Why are you quiet? Does she not like me? | 你怎么不出声 她不喜欢我吗 |
| [07:21] | Goddamn it. | 该死的 |
| [07:22] | Of course she did. Who wouldn’t like you? | 她当然喜欢 谁会不喜欢你呢 |
| [07:30] | So you talked to Rachel about it? | 所以你跟瑞秋说过那事了 |
| [07:31] | – About what? – It. The florist thing. | -哪件事 -那件事 花商的事 |
| [07:34] | Yet, you won’t talk to me about it. | 但你却不愿意和我谈一谈 |
| [07:36] | – No. – But you talked to Rachel about it. | -没错 -可你却跟瑞秋谈了 |
| [07:37] | – We’re friends. – She told Quinn. | -我们是朋友 -她告诉了奎恩 |
| [07:39] | – They’re married. – And Quinn told me she told him. | -他们是夫妻 -然后奎恩告诉我她告诉了他 |
| [07:41] | Seems like you’ve cracked the case | 看来你对谁知道什么 |
| [07:42] | of who knows what, Dr. Dolittle. | 都掌握得一清二楚啊 怪医杜立德 |
| [07:44] | Dr. Dolittle talked to animals. | 杜立德医生那是跟动物说话 |
| [07:45] | Dr. House. | 那就豪斯医生 |
| [07:48] | You should be happy for me getting a female friend! | 你应该为我交了个女性朋友高兴 |
| [07:52] | I get nervous just texting her because I just know | 给她发短信的时候我都很紧张 因为我知道 |
| [07:54] | I’m gonna say something that will make her hate me. | 我肯定会说一些会让她讨厌我的事 |
| [07:57] | So yes, I open up to her, | 所以没错 我对她敞开心扉 |
| [07:59] | like girls are supposed to do, and it’s actually working. | 就像女生之间应该做的那样 而且还真奏效了 |
| [08:03] | So you should be goddamn happy for me! | 所以你他妈的应该为我感到高兴 |
| [08:08] | Are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [08:10] | Do you need to up your medication dosage, maybe? | 或许 你的药需要增加一点剂量吗 |
| [08:16] | You got a blowjob from a vendor for our wedding. | 我们婚礼的供应商之一给你口交了 |
| [08:20] | Okay. Then let’s talk about it. | 好了 那我们就来谈谈这事 |
| [08:23] | No. I told you. Suck a dick, or leave me alone about it. | 不 我说过了 要么舔屌 要么就别管我 |
| [08:26] | Okay, but really, what can I do? | 好吧 但说真的 我能做什么 |
| [08:29] | I am dead serious. You’re right. | 我是很认真的 你说得对 |
| [08:32] | That’s the only way to make things even. | 那是能让我们之间扯平的唯一方法 |
| [08:35] | Put a dick in your mouth and suck on it. | 把一根屌塞进你嘴里 开始吮吸 |
| [08:40] | Let me know when you’ve done that. | 你做到这事后 再告诉我 |
| [08:54] | Hey. | 你好 |
| [08:55] | – Hey, girl. – Come in. | -你好呀妹子 -请进 |
| [08:58] | Dope place. | 你这地方真酷 |
| [09:00] | Thanks. It’s a flip. | 谢谢 是个翻新的老房子 |
| [09:02] | Well, I am flipping for it. | 我简直为它”新”动 |
| [09:07] | Cookies! | 给你饼干 |
| [09:08] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [09:08] | Such a good idea to do solo hangs. | 我们单约真是明智 |
| [09:10] | I know. Couple friends, solo style. | 是啊 夫妇朋友 单约走起 |
| [09:13] | Also, I can’t be around Jimmy right now. | 再说了 我现在没办法待在吉米身边 |
| [09:15] | – Still? – Ugh, I don’t know. It’s not his fault. | -还没好吗 -我也不知道 其实不是他的错 |
| [09:18] | Getting his dick sucked isn’t his fault? | 让别人给他舔屌还不是他的错 |
| [09:20] | No, that was. Totally. That was scummy. | 不 那当然是他的错 简直太渣了 |
| [09:22] | I just mean that’s not, like, all of it, you know? | 但我的意思是 不完全是这个原因 |
| [09:29] | Anyways, let’s talk about literally anything else. | 算了 我们换个话题吧 |
| [09:32] | Um, rhubarb! Homemade soap! Feminist porn! | 大黄 自制香皂 女权色情片 |
| [09:36] | – The gig economy! – Bowling! | -临时工作经济 -保龄球 |
| [09:37] | Costa Rica! Doughnuts! | 哥斯达黎加 甜甜圈 |
| [09:39] | – Alcohol? – Ladybugs! | -喝酒 -瓢虫 |
| [09:41] | No, I’m asking do you want some alcohol? | 不 我是问你要不要喝点酒 |
| [09:43] | Oh, God, yes. | 当然要 |
| [09:44] | I hope we didn’t force this solo hang on the boys. | 希望我们的单约没有强迫那两个男人也单约 |
| [09:48] | You think they like each other as much as we do? | 你觉得他们也像我们这样喜欢对方吗 |
| [09:51] | Impossible. | 不可能的 |
| [09:57] | Why in God’s name did I put it out there? | 我他妈当时为什么要把这件事说出来 |
| [10:00] | I know Gretchen. That was very foolish. | 我了解格雷琴 那么做太蠢了 |
| [10:03] | She made me taste my own ejaculate. | 她还逼我尝了自己的精液 |
| [10:05] | – Yeah, I heard about that. – Of course you did. | -是啊 我听说了 -你当然听说了 |
| [10:08] | – You were just making a joke, right? – Yes! | -你当时是开玩笑 对吧 -当然 |
| [10:12] | Well, not a joke precisely. | 严格来说也不是玩笑 |
| [10:13] | I was presenting the obvious logical equivalent. | 我只是提出显而易见的等价交换建议 |
| [10:17] | I didn’t think she’d latch onto it. | 我没想到她会揪着不放 |
| [10:19] | Do you know she hasn’t spoken to me since? | 你知道她再没跟我说过话吗 |
| [10:21] | Wait, am I even supposed to tell you this? | 等等 我应该跟你说这些吗 |
| [10:23] | I don’t know the rules. | 我不了解规则 |
| [10:24] | I’m sorry, Jimmy. This is a tough one. | 抱歉 吉米 这事挺难解决的 |
| [10:26] | You could just wait her out? | 要不就让时间来冲淡一切 |
| [10:29] | Do you know how disconcerting it is | 你知道跟一个不和你说话的人 |
| [10:31] | to live with someone who will not talk to you? | 每天住在一起 有多糟心吗 |
| [10:33] | I just keep pretending I’m Harvey Keitel in The Piano | 我一直假装我是《钢琴别恋》里的哈维·凯特尔 |
| [10:36] | and Gretchen is a fetching mute. | 格雷琴是个迷人的哑巴 |
| [10:39] | You could… | 你也可以… |
| [10:41] | you know… do it. | 真的 去做那事 |
| [10:44] | What? No, no. | 什么 不行 |
| [10:47] | No, I can’t… I couldn’t… I-I can’t do that. | 我做不到 不行 我做不到 |
| [10:50] | I know, but, I mean, it is just skin. | 我知道 但那不过是皮肤而已 |
| [10:55] | Attached to a disgusting, hairy, male man. | 一个恶心多毛的男人的皮肤 |
| [10:59] | – Wait, you haven’t ever? – No. | -难道你试过吗 -没有 |
| [11:03] | I mean, maybe. | 也许有吧 |
| [11:04] | I used to black out a lot, but, look, | 我以前经常喝到断片 |
| [11:07] | it’s not that big a deal. | 没什么大不了的 |
| [11:08] | It might even be interesting, experientially speaking. | 也许会挺有意思的 也算是个体验 |
| [11:12] | – I do enjoy new experiences. – Uh-huh. | -我确实很喜欢新体验 -没错 |
| [11:14] | Though, generally ones with less immediate proximity to testicles. | 但是我比较喜欢离睾丸没那么近的新体验 |
| [11:19] | No, even if I could “Ess a dee,” | 不 就算我愿意”吹箫” |
| [11:21] | where would I find the dee to ess? | 我上哪儿找一根箫来吹呢 |
| [11:23] | A dating app. | 约炮软件 |
| [11:26] | My brother uses this one all the time. | 我弟总用这个 |
| [11:28] | He lets me help him pick dudes. | 他还让我帮他挑男人 |
| [11:30] | And you can basically order anything. | 基本上什么要求都可以提 |
| [11:32] | It’s like Postmates for penis. Check it out. | 简直就像阴茎的同城快递 你看 |
| [11:35] | You can see what each guy is down for right here. | 上面能看到每个人愿意做什么 |
| [11:38] | Here’s one! | 这有一个 |
| [11:39] | This guy is willing to host and he’s looking for oral ASAP. | 他说可以去他家 他想尽快被人口交 |
| [11:44] | Well, he looks pleasant enough. | 他看起来还不错 |
| [11:46] | – Like a small-town veterinarian. – Yeah. | -像个小城镇里的兽医 -是啊 |
| [11:48] | Or the first soldier | 或是战争电影里 |
| [11:50] | – to die in a war movie. Yeah. – Yes. | -第一个死的大兵 -好 |
| [11:52] | – Let’s make your profile. – Oh, okay. | -来帮你注册下个人信息吧 -好 |
| [11:54] | Uh, wait, wait. Um… | 等一下 |
| [11:59] | Very nice. Now look like a rough boy. | 非常好 再来个爷们儿点的 |
| [12:07] | Mm, maybe go back to the duck lips. | 还是继续嘟嘴吧 |
| [12:09] | Just a little aggressive. There we go. | 有点太过了 好的 |
| [12:13] | You can’t help but to start to imagine | 你总会忍不住开始想象 |
| [12:15] | this entire personality | 你体内的那个小人儿 |
| [12:17] | and childhood and college essays | 会有怎样的性格 怎样的童年 |
| [12:20] | for this thing that’s living inside of you | 将来会写怎样的大学论文 |
| [12:22] | even though you know you’re not supposed to. | 哪怕你心知肚明不应该这样 |
| [12:24] | How can you help it? | 怎么忍得住呢 |
| [12:26] | Anyway, so that was hard to get over. | 总之 这很难释怀 |
| [12:29] | Not sure I am yet. I know I’m gun-shy to try again. | 我应该还没释怀 我吓得都不敢尝试了 |
| [12:34] | – Right. Totally. – So… | -明白 非常理解 -那么… |
| [12:38] | How about you? | 你呢 |
| [12:39] | Oh, yeah, no, nothing like that. | 不 我没有这种经历 |
| [12:41] | I cut myself trying to trim my pubes once, so I get it. | 有一次我修阴毛割伤了自己 所以我懂的 |
| [12:45] | I mean, do you guys want children? | 你们想要孩子吗 |
| [12:47] | Oh, uh… Shit. | 天呐 我操 |
| [12:51] | Babies… I don’t know. | 孩子啊 我不知道 |
| [12:54] | I like them when they’re dressed up like animals, | 我喜欢宝宝穿着动物服装的可爱模样 |
| [12:56] | but I don’t yet totally know if I… | 但我还不确定我是否… |
| [12:59] | You don’t know if you want to be a mom? Totally normal. | 你不知道你是否想当妈 太正常了 |
| [13:01] | Oh, no, I want it. I was gonna say “Should.” | 不 我想当妈 我想说的词是”应该” |
| [13:04] | I don’t know if I should be a… | 我不确定我是否应该当… |
| [13:08] | Do you want to… do you want me to put on some music? | 你想放点音乐听听吗 |
| [13:11] | I have a mental thing. Uh… whatchamacallit, | 我有点精神方面的问题 叫什么来着 |
| [13:15] | clinical depression. | 抑郁症 |
| [13:20] | – Sorry. – No. | -抱歉 -不 |
| [13:22] | Sorry, I’m sorry. Um, I’m just flinchy. | 抱歉 是我该说抱歉 我这人容易畏缩 |
| [13:24] | – I want a hug. – It’s okay. | -我想要个拥抱 -不用勉强的 |
| [13:27] | In fact… let’s hug as soon as I go pee- pee in your toilet. | 实际上 等我去你家厕所尿个尿再来拥抱 |
| [13:33] | Then we’re gonna hug like motherfuckers. | 然后我们就可以拥抱到天荒地老了 |
| [13:48] | He says his door is unlocked. | 他说他的门没锁 |
| [13:51] | It’s go time. You got this. | 行动时间到了 你可以的 |
| [13:54] | Easy peasy. | 很容易的 |
| [13:57] | Mouthwash, gum, antibacterial wipes. | 漱口水 口香糖 抗菌湿巾 |
| [13:59] | Stash it in a bush. | 藏在灌木丛里 |
| [14:00] | Remember, this is for your lady. It’s just skin. | 记住 这是为了你的女人 那只是皮肤而已 |
| [14:15] | You got this! | 你可以的 |
| [14:22] | Hello? | 有人吗 |
| [14:23] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [14:27] | There you are. | 你在这儿啊 |
| [14:32] | Got a lovely, lovely house. Books! | 你的房子真漂亮 还有很多书 |
| [14:36] | Very nice. | 真不错 |
| [14:37] | I don’t know this neighborhood. | 我对这个社区不是很了解 |
| [14:39] | Seems to have a high walkability rating. | 「可安全步行率」似乎很高 |
| [14:41] | Shh. Take off your shirt. | 嘘 脱掉上衣 |
| [14:46] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:48] | Just like that. Decisive. Good on you, mate. | 很果决嘛 好样的 老兄 |
| [15:02] | I’m a little nervous. You see, this is my… | 我有点紧张 这是我… |
| [15:04] | Can you stop talking? | 你能别再说话了吗 |
| [15:05] | Right, yeah, okay, okay. | 好吧 行 没问题 |
| [15:09] | Silencio, por favor. | 那就沉默吧 |
| [15:12] | I’ll just, I’ll just get at it then. | 那我就直接开始了 |
| [15:16] | Could you make it a little sexy? | 你能弄得性感一点吗 |
| [15:17] | Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, well, I plan to. | 当然可以 正合我意 |
| [15:35] | Yeah, it’s lovely. | 不错 很撩人 |
| [15:37] | Oh, you like that? You like that? | 你喜欢这个吗 喜欢我的肌肉吗 |
| [15:40] | See, I do not work out, like, in a traditional sense, | 我平时并不像一般人那样健身 |
| [15:43] | but I have a top- notch calisthenics routine- – | 但我有一套绝佳的健美操动作 |
| [15:47] | the name of which is derived from Callisthenes of Olynthus. | 它的名字取自古希腊奥林索斯的卡利斯提尼 |
| [15:51] | Fun fact, Aristotle was his great uncle. | 一个有趣的点是 亚里士多德是他的叔祖父 |
| [15:54] | Now, you might wonder… | 你可能很好奇… |
| [15:56] | That was quick. How’d it go? | 好快啊 进行得怎么样 |
| [15:58] | – He disinvited me. – What? Why? | -他取消了对我的邀请 -什么 为什么 |
| [16:00] | He accused me of being a closeted virgin, | 他指责我是个深柜处男 |
| [16:03] | and then I sort of lunged at him awkwardly, | 然后我用古怪的姿势扑过去 |
| [16:05] | fell into his leg, | 摔在了他的腿上 |
| [16:06] | knocked over a picture puzzle he’d been working on. | 撞翻了他拼了好久的一个拼图 |
| [16:08] | He was livid. | 他气得面色铁青 |
| [16:09] | I mean, his attitude at the end was a real turnoff. | 他最后的态度让人彻底没了兴趣 |
| [16:14] | He gave you zero eggplants. | 他给你打的分是0个茄子 |
| [16:16] | Zero?! How dare he! | 0个 真是放肆 |
| [16:19] | Well, in retaliation, I shall give him… | 我一定要报复他 给他打个… |
| [16:21] | Uh, you can’t. He blocked you. | 你打不了了 他把你拉黑了 |
| [16:26] | Where’s your shirt? | 你的上衣呢 |
| [17:14] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [17:15] | Nothing. I was just seeing if you had a cat. | 没什么 我只是看你家有没有养猫 |
| [17:18] | Do you have a cat? Because I couldn’t find one. | 你养猫了吗 因为我到处都找不到 |
| [17:22] | Oh, the comb. I was thinking of getting one of these, | 你说梳子啊 我也想买一个这种梳子 |
| [17:25] | and I wanted to know if it could fit in my bra. | 我想试试看它能不能放进我的胸罩里 |
| [17:27] | Why, are you accusing me of stealing? | 怎么 你指控我偷盗吗 |
| [17:30] | That is really messed up of you, Rachel. Projecting much? | 你可真是有病 瑞秋 过于以己度人了吧 |
| [17:35] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [17:36] | Why are you laughing at me? | 你为什么笑我 |
| [17:37] | This is my absolute favorite part of a new friendship. | 这是一段新友谊中我最爱的部分 |
| [17:41] | When the real comes out. | 显露真实的自我 |
| [17:49] | Listen, Gretchen, here’s how it is with me. | 听着 格雷琴 我这个人是这样的 |
| [17:51] | I don’t let just anyone in. | 我不会轻易敞开心扉接受别人 |
| [17:54] | But I don’t lose people, so… | 但我也不甘心轻易失去朋友 所以… |
| [17:58] | once you’re in, you’re in for life. | 一旦你进来了 那就是一辈子的事 |
| [18:12] | But, seriously, I am gonna need my grandmother’s comb back. | 但说真的 我需要你把我外婆的梳子还给我 |
| [18:22] | What are you gonna do? | 你打算怎么做 |
| [18:23] | Just live a sexless existence next to a prickly, mute, | 就跟一个易怒的 不说话的 内心充满愤怒 |
| [18:27] | redheaded ball of anger and recrimination | 时不时反唇相讥的红发女过着无性的生活 |
| [18:29] | until she eventually leaves me. | 直到她最终离开我 |
| [18:30] | Or enact some far worse revenge gleaned from | 或是从观看的无数集《崩溃复仇女》中获取灵感 |
| [18:34] | countless hours spent watching Snapped, | 实施更加恶毒的复仇行为 |
| [18:37] | in which women finally, you know, snap. | 在这节目中 女性最后都被逼得崩溃复仇 |
| [18:40] | Fuck this. You can’t give up. | 操 那可不行 你不能放弃 |
| [18:42] | Let’s go to the West Hollywood bars. I’ll wingman you. | 我们去西好莱坞的酒吧 我来当你的勾汉子助手 |
| [18:46] | Oh, forget it. I clearly can’t ess a stranger’s dee. | 算了 我显然无法帮一个陌生人吹箫 |
| [18:49] | I’d have to at least be comfortable with the guy, or… | 我心理上至少要能接受那个男人 或者… |
| [19:51] | I did it. | 我做到了 |
| [19:53] | – Did what? – The thing you told me to do. | -做到什么 -你叫我去做的那件事 |
| [19:56] | I did it. I did the thing. | 我去做了 我做到了 |
| [19:58] | – I did it. – Jimmy. Wait. | -我做到了 -吉米 等等 |
| [20:03] | Whoa, what? | 什么 |
| [20:05] | Jimmy. Jimmy? Jimmy. | 吉米 吉米 吉米 |
| [20:11] | What are you…? What? Who? | 你在说…什么 跟谁啊 |
| [20:14] | – Quinn. – What? What? | -奎恩 -什么 什么 |
| [20:18] | What is happening? | 这是什么情况啊 |
| [20:19] | Oh, my God. You… | 天呐 你… |
| [20:23] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [20:27] | What the actual fuck?! | 真他妈操了啊 |
| [20:31] | Oh, my God! | 天呐 |
| [20:34] | You, you sucked a dick for me. | 你为了我给别人舔屌了 |
| [20:37] | I say “Essed a dee.” It’s classier. | 我称之为「吹箫」 更有格调一些 |
| [20:41] | Wait. Oh, no. But Rachel… | 等等 不 但是瑞秋… |
| [20:44] | Oh, no, no. It’s fine. He called her right before he left. | 不 没事的 他离开前给她打电话了 |
| [20:46] | She thought it was hilarious. | 她觉得这很搞笑 |
| [20:48] | Really? Seriously? Phew. Okay, then. | 真的吗 当真吗 那好吧 |
| [20:54] | So, we’re good? | 那么我们和好了吧 |
| [20:57] | Yes, Jimmy. We’re good. | 是的 吉米 我们和好了 |
| [20:59] | I mean, I was just trying to get you off my back. | 我当时只是想让你别再烦我而已 |
| [21:02] | – What? – Nothing. You did it for me. | -什么 -没什么 你是为我去做的 |
| [21:06] | I love you for that. | 我为此非常爱你 |
| [21:10] | By the way, they’re coming over for dinner tomorrow night. | 顺便说下 他们明晚要过来吃晚餐 |
| [21:12] | Try not to drop your fork | 你可别故意把叉子弄掉 |
| [21:13] | and accidentally suck his dick again. | 然后”一不小心”再次在下面给他舔屌 |
| [21:22] | To making connections. | 敬「建立情感关联」 |
| [21:23] | To the serendipity of meeting you guys at that cake tasting, | 敬「在蛋糕品尝会上偶遇你们的奇妙缘分」 |
| [21:27] | and to always being open to new experiences. | 敬「永远乐于尝试新体验」 |
| [21:30] | To letting people in. | 敬「敞开心扉接受别人」 |
| [21:31] | And to the lengths our husbands will go to make us happy. | 敬「我们的丈夫为讨我们的欢心愿意牺牲的尺度」 |
| [21:36] | Oh, well. If it was good enough for Oscar Wilde | 好吧 如果奥斯卡·王尔德 |
| [21:38] | and Tennessee Williams | 田纳西·威廉姆斯 |
| [21:39] | and Truman Capote and James Baldwin… | 杜鲁门·卡波特 詹姆斯·鲍德温都觉得这没什么 |
| [21:42] | Okay, most of my favorite male writers, actually. | 好吧 我喜欢的大部分男作家都是同性恋 |
| [21:45] | To friends for life. | 敬「一辈子的友谊」 |
| [21:47] | For life. | 一辈子的 |
| [21:53] | I don’t let just anyone in… | 我不会轻易敞开心扉接受别人 |
| [21:55] | but I don’t lose people. | 但我也不甘心轻易失去朋友 |
| [21:57] | Once you’re in, you’re in for life. | 一旦你进来了 那就是一辈子的事 |
| [21:59] | For life! | 一辈子的 |
| [22:01] | I don’t lose people. You’re in for life. | 我不甘心轻易失去朋友 进来了就是一辈子 |
| [22:03] | For life. For life. You’re in for life. | 一辈子的 进来了就是一辈子 |
| [22:06] | You’re in for life. | 进来了就是一辈子 |
| [22:09] | Jimmy, what are you guys talking about? | 吉米 你们在说些什么 |
| [22:13] | What? | 什么 |
| [22:14] | The blowjob. | 口交啊 |
| [22:15] | Gretchen, the, uh… Jimmy? | 格雷琴 就是…吉米 |
| [22:19] | You did know about the… | 你知道那个… |
| [22:21] | Blowjob? You didn’t put your… | 口交 你不会把你的… |
| [22:23] | you had his… your m- mouth, Jimmy? | 你把他那什么…含进嘴里了 吉米 |
| [22:27] | – What are you doing? – Wait, you didn’t tell her? | -你在干什么 -等等 你没告诉她吗 |
| [22:30] | Gretchen, it’s not a big deal. It was all for… wait. | 格雷琴 这没什么大不了的 都是为了…等等 |
| [22:34] | – Gretchen! – Not one more word! | -格雷琴 -别再说了 |
| [22:36] | I thought you told me that she wanted him to. | 你不是跟我说她希望他那么做吗 |
| [22:38] | You thought I wanted my husband to suck your husband’s dick? | 你觉得我希望我丈夫给你丈夫舔屌 |
| [22:41] | That’s what he told me. That’s what he told me. | 他是这么跟我说的 真的 |
| [22:44] | – That’s what you- – what the fuck, Jimmy? – Oh, my God. | -你就是这么…怎么回事 吉米 -天呐 |
| [22:47] | No! No, no, no, no. I d- – I didn’t want to. | 不 不 不 我并不想啊 |
| [22:50] | Gretchen, tell her. Tell her. | 格雷琴 告诉她 告诉她 |
| [22:52] | Did you make up that she said that | 是你自己编造她说了那些话 |
| [22:55] | just to get me to let you do that? | 好让我同意你那么做 |
| [22:56] | Why would I say that?! I think you guys should go! | 我为什么要说那种话 我觉得你们该走了 |
| [23:00] | Yes, I think we should. | 没错 我们是该走了 |
| [23:11] | What the hell was that? | 刚刚这闹的是哪一出 |
| [23:13] | Eh, she was too much for me. | 她控制欲太强 我应付不来 |
| [23:19] | Anyways, all this talk of BJs, I need it now. | 话说 一直在谈论口交 我现在真想要了 |
| [23:30] | Well, okay. | 好吧 |
| [23:57] | Edgar. | 埃德加 |
| [24:01] | Edgar. | 埃德加 |