| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [01:04] | Ah, it is so nice to finally have a day off. | 终于能休息一天 太好了 |
| [01:08] | It’s Sunday. | 今天是星期天 |
| [01:09] | Paul F. Tompkins doesn’t believe in Sundays. | 保罗·汤普金斯认为不该有星期天 |
| [01:11] | Or doctors appointments or bathroom breaks. | 或医生预约 或上厕所小休 |
| [01:14] | Well, since you have all this free time, | 既然你有那么多空闲时间 |
| [01:17] | have you finally read my script? | 你终于抽出时间看我的剧本了吗 |
| [01:19] | Shoot! I’m sorry, Jimmy. I did. | 该死 真抱歉 吉米 我看了 |
| [01:21] | And I… loved it. | 而且 我很喜欢 |
| [01:24] | You captured the book perfectly. No notes. | 你完美捕捉到原著的精髓 我没意见 |
| [01:27] | No notes? | 没意见 |
| [01:30] | No… notes? | 没意见 |
| [01:33] | Thank you, Edgar. | 谢谢啦 埃德加 |
| [01:34] | Well, I shall just send it in as is, then. | 那我就直接把这版交上去了 |
| [01:37] | – Final draft, incoming. – Say, Edgar? | -最终稿 马上到 -我说 埃德加 |
| [01:40] | – Why, yes, Lindsay? – You know what I miss? | -怎么了 琳赛 -你知道我怀念什么吗 |
| [01:42] | Handwritten letters? Landlines? Light brown M&M’s? | 手写信 固话 浅咖啡色的巧克力豆 |
| [01:45] | Sunday Funday. Remember that? | 是快乐星期天 你还记得吗 |
| [01:48] | I sure do, Lindsay! | 当然记得啦 琳赛 |
| [01:51] | What… is this? | 这是什么呀 |
| [01:53] | It looks like a Sunday Funday list. | 好像是快乐星期天的玩乐清单 |
| [01:56] | Nope, we’re not doing Sunday Funday. | 不 我们不过快乐星期天了 |
| [01:59] | We retired it, remember? | 我们让它退休了 记得吗 |
| [02:01] | That’s too bad, because it’s… | 太可惜了 因为今天是… |
| [02:04] | Bachelor/Bachelorette Party Sunday Funday! | 单身汉/单身女郎派对快乐星期天 |
| [02:08] | What?! | 什么 |
| [02:14] | What do you think, Jim-skillet? | 你觉得呢 吉米锅锅 |
| [02:17] | ♪Sun-day Fun-day♪ | ♪快乐星期天呀♪ |
| [02:19] | ♪Better than a Monday♪ | ♪好过星期一呀♪ |
| [02:21] | ♪Can only do it one way♪ | ♪只有一种享受方法呀♪ |
| [02:23] | ♪And that is the drunk way♪ | ♪喝得醉醺醺的呀♪ |
| [02:25] | ♪Sunday Funday, better than a Monday♪ | ♪快乐星期天呀 好过星期一呀♪ |
| [02:29] | ♪Can only do it one way, and that is the drunk way♪ | ♪只有一种享受方法呀 喝得醉醺醺的呀♪ |
| [02:33] | ♪Sunday Funday, better than a Monday.♪ | ♪快乐星期天呀 好过星期一呀♪ |
| [02:55] | If I see one plastic novelty penis, | 如果让我看见哪怕一根廉价塑胶屌 |
| [02:57] | I’m shoving you off the bus. | 都会把你踹下大巴 |
| [02:58] | Don’t worry, Gretch. Only real ones. | 别担心 格雷琴 只有真屌 |
| [03:05] | Surprise! | 惊不惊喜 |
| [03:08] | – What the shit? – Hell yeah! | -什么鬼 -赞爆 |
| [03:10] | Party bus bachelor party Sunday Funday! | 派对大巴单身派对快乐星期天 |
| [03:16] | 罗杰·伊伯特再世 (长相酷似) | |
| [03:16] | So honored to be included, you guys. | 谢谢你们邀请我 我很荣幸 |
| [03:18] | Gonna crush it. You’ll see… basically. | 我们会嗨翻天的 你们等会就知道了 基本上吧 |
| [03:21] | – Where are all my real friends? – Which friends? | -我真正的朋友们在哪儿 -哪些朋友 |
| [03:24] | How am I supposed to get buck | 我未来的老婆就在这儿 |
| [03:25] | with my future ball-and-chain here? | 我怎么放纵狂欢啊 |
| [03:27] | Yeah! | 就是啊 |
| [03:28] | Check out all the amazing stuff we have planned. | 看看我们都安排了哪些精彩行程 |
| [03:31] | First, the oldest tiki bar in the San Fernando Valley. | 首先 去圣费尔南多谷最古老的夏威夷风情酒吧 |
| [03:36] | We’ll then hop over to crazy Topanga Canyon | 然后转战托潘加谷 |
| [03:39] | where real-life hippies will teach us to throw pottery. | 那里有真正的嬉皮士教我们做陶艺 |
| [03:42] | Then, a coastal sundown drive along the water. | 接下来在日落时分 驾车沿着海边驰骋 |
| [03:47] | It’s gonna be hardcore. | 一定会非常狂野带劲的 |
| [03:49] | More like hard-snore. | 是无聊到睡着打呼才对吧 |
| [03:51] | The only way to make this impending disaster | 把这个即将发生的灾难变得稍微有趣的 |
| [03:53] | remotely fun now is to immediately get hammered | 唯一方法就是立刻把自己灌醉 |
| [03:56] | and enjoy what an utter failure Edgar and Lindsay | 然后享受埃德加和琳赛如何再次证明了 |
| [03:59] | – once again prove to be. – Where the hell is all the booze? | -自己是废物 -酒都在哪儿 |
| [04:02] | I had the privilege of crafting a special microbrew | 我有幸为你们量身酿制了一款啤酒 |
| [04:06] | to commemorate the event. | 来庆祝今天的盛事 |
| [04:08] | Introducing the Jimmy and Gretchen… Strawberry… Pale Ale! | 隆重介绍 吉米与格雷琴草莓[红发]淡色[苍白]啤酒 |
| [04:16] | What a laugh. | 好搞笑 |
| [04:19] | So jolly. | 太有意思了 |
| [04:20] | This is going to be fun, trust us. | 这一趟会很好玩的 相信我们 |
| [04:25] | 情感发育不良的 红发女 | |
| [04:25] | 自大的患有白化病的 英国佬 | |
| [04:28] | Paul aboard! | 保罗就位啦 |
| [04:47] | Hello, everybody. Hi. | 大家好呀 |
| [04:49] | As we get closer to Jimmy and Gretchen’s big day, | 随着吉米和格雷琴的大喜日子日益临近 |
| [04:52] | I just want to say how much I look forward to being firmly | 我想说 我非常期待与他们未来的生活 |
| [04:57] | involved in their lives, then even more than now. | 紧密地融合在一起 比现在更紧密 |
| [05:01] | I’m gonna be there is all I’m saying. | 我想说的是 我会一直粘在他们身边 |
| [05:03] | And now a song to get this party started! | 现在来首歌曲 开始派对吧 |
| [05:09] | Just wait. | 等一下 |
| [05:10] | Quickly, just right after this, but quickly. | 我简短发个言 很快就好 |
| [05:12] | I just have a quick… | 我就说两句… |
| [05:14] | Hello, everyone! Hi! | 大家好啊 嗨 |
| [05:17] | Hi. I have a huge announcement. | 嗨 我有件大事要宣布 |
| [05:21] | – English. – Is everyone looking at me? | -切换英语 -大家都在看我了吗 |
| [05:23] | – English. – Shut up, back there! Okay. | -切换英语 -那边的 给我闭嘴 好了 |
| [05:26] | Drumroll. | 击鼓 |
| [05:29] | I’m going to have another baby! | 我又怀孕啦 |
| [05:32] | What? What? | 什么 什么 |
| [05:33] | Becca! Becca! | 贝卡 贝卡 |
| [05:36] | – Becca! – Seriously? Hey, nerd, it worked! | -贝卡 -真的假的 呆子 成功了 |
| [05:38] | Oh, my. Huzzah! Huzzah! | 天呐 好棒 好棒 |
| [05:44] | – Shut up, jerk! – Oh, sorry. Sorry. | -别吵 混蛋 -抱歉啊 抱歉 |
| [05:47] | Hell yeah! What a miracle. | 太好了 真是奇迹啊 |
| [05:49] | – Little baby growing in there. – Yeah. | -小宝宝正在里面成长 -是啊 |
| [05:51] | Gosh, can you believe it’s not just come anymore? | 老天 你敢相信它不再只是精液了吗 |
| [06:01] | Me? A papa. | 我 当爸爸 |
| [06:04] | What responsibility. | 真是天大的责任 |
| [06:10] | One more of these ultra-low-ABV bad boys, | 再来一瓶这种酒精度超低的酒 |
| [06:12] | and I’m liable to tell you a little secret. | 我就会忍不住告诉你一个秘密 |
| [06:15] | – Uh, no. – Are you sure? It’s quite juicy. | -不听 -你确定吗 很劲爆哦 |
| [06:17] | Paul, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. | 保罗 我这辈子就没这么确定过 |
| [06:22] | That sounds like a challenge. | 听起来是个挑战 |
| [06:23] | But you have to swear not to tell anyone. | 但你得发誓不能告诉任何人 |
| [06:25] | If you do, you’ll owe me $1,000. | 你要是说出去 就得给我一千块 |
| [06:28] | Okay, fine. Deal. | 好 可以 成交 |
| [06:29] | Just tell me so I can be out of this horrible conversation. | 赶紧告诉我 好让我从这场可怕的对话中脱身 |
| [06:35] | I impregnated Becca. | 我让贝卡怀孕了 |
| [06:36] | Direct deposit method. | 直接进入的方式 |
| [06:39] | With my member. | 用我的”大器” |
| [06:45] | – Well, that is a good secret. – I told you. | -这个秘密不错 -早跟你说了 |
| [06:53] | Oh, bother. | 该死 |
| [06:56] | Hi, everybody. I have an announcement. | 各位 我有事情宣布 |
| [06:59] | – What is it? – And… sent. | -什么 -已发送 |
| [07:02] | I feel like we haven’t given enough attention to how thrilling it is | 我觉得我们对贝卡再次怀孕这事 |
| [07:03] | 转账提醒 吉米·希瓦-奥弗利已向你转账一千块 | |
| [07:06] | – that Becca is pregnant again. – No, no, no! | -没有表现出足够的激动与重视 -不 不 不 |
| [07:08] | Jimmy, no! | 吉米 不要 |
| [07:09] | But what is so extraordinary about this event | 但这件事最惊世骇俗的地方 |
| [07:12] | is the method by which it transpired. | 在于其所使用的方法 |
| [07:15] | You see, as it turns out, paul used nature’s baster. | 原来 保罗使用了”天然的滴管” |
| [07:21] | His willy! He used his willy! | 他的小鸡鸡 他用了他的”鸡管” |
| [07:24] | Paul put his penis inside Becca and moved it in and out. | 保罗把阴茎插入贝卡体内 进进出出 |
| [07:29] | Party officially set off. | 派对正式开始 |
| [07:35] | What-What? | 什么 什么 |
| [07:36] | This is the first I’m hearing of this shocking news. | 我第一次听说这个惊人的消息 |
| [07:39] | You guys are so lucky | 你们太幸运了 |
| [07:41] | you have us to make your lame-o party awesome. | 有我们帮忙把无聊的派对气氛点燃 |
| [07:47] | Okay, we’re stopping at the liquor store immediately. | 够了 我们得马上去一趟酒类专卖店 |
| [08:04] | Oh, I can actually have more than one | 我可以喝不止一杯的 |
| [08:06] | because most women | 因为大多数女人 |
| [08:07] | don’t even know they’re pregnant at this point. | 这时候还不知道自己怀孕了 照喝不误 |
| [08:09] | You’ve done a lot of shitty things to me over the years– | 这些年来 你对我做过很多恶心的事 |
| [08:12] | dropped me in the laundry chute, | 把我丢进脏衣服滑槽里 |
| [08:14] | made me sleep in the backyard because I breathed too loud– | 因为我呼吸声太大 逼我在后院睡觉 |
| [08:17] | but sleeping with my husband was the lowest, | 但跟我丈夫上床真是最无耻的了 |
| [08:20] | and I’m including that summer you told me | 比那年夏天 你骗我喝你的尿 |
| [08:22] | I had to drink your pee or I wouldn’t get boobs. | 不然胸部就不会发育 还要无耻 |
| [08:24] | Lindsay, I swear to you | 琳赛 我发誓 |
| [08:26] | it was as passionless as sex has ever been. | 那是有史以来最冷淡的性爱了 |
| [08:30] | You should know. You married him. | 你该清楚才对 你和他结过婚 |
| [08:45] | Oh, do I have a booger? | 我沾了鼻屎吗 |
| [08:46] | Let’s make a promise that we’ll do this forever, | 我们约定一直保持这样吧 |
| [08:48] | that this, our freest selves, shall e’er rule | 永远做最自由的自我 |
| [08:51] | and that marriage shall not change us in any way. | 不让婚姻以任何方式改变我们 |
| [08:55] | I don’t know. In five years, my freest self might be sober. | 说不好 5年后 我最自由的自我可能戒酒了 |
| [09:00] | That’s not funny. | 那可不好笑 |
| [09:01] | Who knows what our lives will be? | 谁知道我们的生活会变成什么样子 |
| [09:03] | We can make these big declarations, | 我们可以作出各种宣誓 |
| [09:05] | but it doesn’t mean anything. | 但它们没有任何意义 |
| [09:06] | Or worse, we think it means something, | 或者更糟 我们觉得那是有意义的 |
| [09:08] | so we force ourselves to be this, | 所以逼自己这样表现 |
| [09:10] | even though that’s not who we are anymore. | 即便那不再是我们了 |
| [09:12] | – But I am who I am. – I am, too. For now. | -但我就是我 -我也是 暂时还是 |
| [09:17] | What was your favorite part? | 你最喜欢哪部分 |
| [09:20] | – Of what? – Of the script, man. | -什么 -剧本啊 老兄 |
| [09:22] | Come on. Was it the Ramones concert intercut | 拜托 是雷蒙斯音乐会 |
| [09:24] | with Neville Chamberlain announcing conscription? | 和首相张伯伦宣布征兵制混剪的那部分吗 |
| [09:27] | Or Kitty’s seduction at the hands of the church rector? | 还是凯蒂被教堂牧师勾引的那部分 |
| [09:31] | It was all really good, Jimmy. | 都很好 吉米 |
| [09:34] | Well, that was markedly disappointing. For our next… | 这真是令人失望 对我们下一个… |
| [09:36] | Well, well, well. | 哟 哟 哟 |
| [09:38] | Edgar, I thought you had jury duty. | 埃德加 你不是去做陪审员了吗 |
| [09:41] | Oh, um, the guy confessed. | 嫌犯认罪了 |
| [09:44] | Crazy. | 真疯狂 |
| [09:45] | Uh, Jimmy, this is Paul F. Tompkins. | 吉米 这位是保罗·汤普金斯 |
| [09:47] | Hey, Jimmy. Any friend of Edgar’s. | 嗨 吉米 埃德加的朋友就是我的朋友 |
| [09:52] | So, what are you guys up to on this glorious Sunday? | 你们在这美好的星期天打算干什么 |
| [09:57] | Howdy, everybody! My name is Paul F. Tompkins, | 大家好 我叫保罗·汤普金斯 |
| [10:00] | and I will be your host for this party. | 我将担任这场派对的主持人 |
| [10:04] | I regret to inform you the old plan died of being lame. | 遗憾地通知大家 原计划因过于无聊被枪毙了 |
| [10:09] | – Boo! – New plan: | -真逊 -新计划 |
| [10:10] | we’re going to Las Vegas! | 我们要去拉斯维加斯 |
| [10:13] | Hit it! | 放歌 |
| [10:17] | ♪Vegas♪ | ♪维加斯♪ |
| [10:19] | ♪We’re on our way to Las Vegas♪ | ♪我们正前往拉斯维加斯♪ |
| [10:22] | ♪We’re gonna go where paying for sex♪ | ♪我们要去的地方 可以尽情嫖娼♪ |
| [10:26] | ♪is not a crime♪ | ♪那并不违法♪ |
| [10:29] | That’s true. | 是真的 |
| [10:30] | ♪I said Vegas♪ | ♪我说了维加斯♪ |
| [10:33] | ♪We’re gonna go where the…♪ | ♪我们要去的地方…♪ |
| [10:34] | Hi, buddy. We have a question. | 嗨 老哥 我们有个问题 |
| [10:35] | What were you doing while another man was having sex with your wife? | 别的男人在干你老婆时 你在干什么呢 |
| [10:42] | I think I was watching a movie. | 我好像在看电影 |
| [10:44] | Oh. What movie were you watching? | 你看的什么电影 |
| [10:46] | Was it A Cuckwork Orange? | 是《发条绿》[《发条橙》]吗 |
| [10:48] | The Hunt for Red Cucktober? | 《猎杀绿色十月》[《猎杀红色十月》] |
| [10:49] | Uncle Cuck? The Mighty Cucks? | 《绿帽叔叔》[《巴克叔叔》] 《野鸭变绿帽》[《野鸭变凤凰》] |
| [10:51] | The Joy Cuck Club? | 《绿帽会》[电影《喜福会》] |
| [10:52] | Cuckleberry Finn? | 《绿帽历险记》[《哈克贝利费恩历险记》] |
| [10:54] | The Marx Brothers in Cuck Soup? | 《马克斯兄弟的绿帽》[马克斯兄弟的《鸭羹》] |
| [10:56] | Good Night and Good Cuck? | 《晚安绿帽》[《晚安好运》] |
| [10:57] | One Flew Over the Cuck-oo’s Nest? | 《飞越绿帽院》[《飞越疯人院》] |
| [10:58] | Mooncuck? | 《月绿》 |
| [11:00] | Sick burns. So comical. | 真会羞辱人 太好笑了 |
| [11:02] | Excuse me for a second. | 失陪一下 |
| [11:07] | I’m looking real bad in this scenario, nerd. | 我现在太丢脸了 呆子 |
| [11:09] | I got to tell ’em the full, triumphant story. | 我得把完整的 光荣的故事告诉他们 |
| [11:12] | Vernon, you can’t do that. | 弗南 你不能说 |
| [11:15] | The Cuck-il Wears Prada. | 《穿普拉达的绿帽》[《穿普拉达的女王》] |
| [11:16] | What’s it worth to you? | 你愿意出多少钱 |
| [11:20] | Are you on Venmo? | 你有移动支付账号吗 |
| [11:26] | – You know what? – No, listen! | -你们知道吗 -都给我听好 |
| [11:27] | You all should be ashamed of yourselves. | 你们都应该为自己感到羞愧 |
| [11:30] | Vernon is a strong, secure man who should be celebrated | 弗南是个强大而有安全感的男人 他如此开明 |
| [11:33] | – for his open-mindedness. – Aw, thanks, Bec. | -你们应该赞赏他 -谢谢你 贝卡 |
| [11:38] | And actually, I think the movie he was watching was | 其实我觉得他当时在看的电影是 |
| [11:40] | I Heart Cuckabees! | 《我爱戴绿帽》[《我爱哈克比》] |
| [11:43] | Didn’t see that coming, did you, cuck? | 没料到这突然的反转吧 绿龟公 |
| [11:50] | No, no, no, no, no, no! | 不要 不要 |
| [11:50] | 转账提醒 无敌医生芭芭拉向你转账一千块 | |
| [11:52] | – No, Vernon, no! – I was there, too, you guys! | -不 弗南 不要 -你们听着 我当时也在场 |
| [11:55] | I was in the room where it happened. | 事情发生时我也在场 |
| [11:58] | I was a part of it! | 我也参与了 |
| [12:00] | I came, too! So hard! | 我也射了 射得好爽 |
| [12:03] | We all came at the same time. | 我们同时到了高潮 |
| [12:05] | It was super sexual. | 场面特别性感 |
| [12:06] | I helped his dong back in and then Bec blew harder | 我帮他把屌插进洞里 然后贝卡潮吹了 |
| [12:09] | than she ever blew before. We held hands after. | 比她以往的高潮都要猛烈 事后我们还一起牵着手 |
| [12:12] | I tried to kill myself, and the sex made me want to stay alive! | 我本来想自杀 但那次性爱让我想活下去 |
| [12:16] | That’s about it! I yield my remaining time! | 差不多就是这样 剩余时间交给别人吧 |
| [12:19] | Sunday Funday! | 快乐星期天 |
| [12:30] | Who here’s from out of town? | 这里有谁不是本地人 |
| [12:40] | So you picked up a bus driver | 所以你们找了一个巴士司机 |
| [12:42] | – and invite him into your marriage bed? – What? | -邀请他一起入了洞房吗 -什么 |
| [12:45] | No, no. | 不 不是 |
| [12:46] | – Let me explain. – I don’t trust him, Jimmy. | -我来解释下 -我不信任他 吉米 |
| [12:49] | He’s got that same look in his eyes | 他现在的眼神 |
| [12:50] | he had that day he made me eat all that sour cream. | 跟那天逼我吃酸奶油时一模一样 |
| [12:53] | Oh, you’re just mad that he’s making this party actually fun. | 你只是气他把这个派对变有趣了而已 |
| [12:55] | Now, shush. I want to see who he’s going to take the piss out of next. | 别吵 我想看看他接下来又要调侃谁 |
| [12:58] | Oh, you two are getting married! | 你们两个要结婚了对吧 |
| [13:01] | That’s right! | 没错 |
| [13:04] | Oh, so great. | 真好 |
| [13:05] | Now, you know, things will change after you get married. | 你们知道吧 结婚之后会有很多变化 |
| [13:07] | That’s right. About to gain that marriage weight, sucka! | 没错 婚后肯定会发福的 混蛋 |
| [13:11] | So have you two had all the big discussions? | 那些重大决定 你们都讨论过了吗 |
| [13:13] | We will. | 以后会讨论的 |
| [13:14] | Will is my handsy uncle. | 我那个流氓叔叔就叫”陶伦” |
| [13:17] | Let’s knock some of these out right now. | 择日不如撞日 我们现场聊聊吧 |
| [13:19] | First question: If you have a boy, | 第一个问题 如果生了男孩 |
| [13:22] | will he be circumcised? | 会做包皮切除术吗 |
| [13:23] | – Yes, eeryone calls it a turtle. – No, that’s mutilation. | -会 大家都称之为”长皮鬼” -不会 那是毁伤肢体 |
| [13:26] | Will you raise your child with religion? | 你们会让孩子信教吗 |
| [13:27] | – Absolutely not. – Yes. | -绝对不会 -会 |
| [13:30] | Wait, why is everything about children? | 等等 为什么都是关于孩子的问题 |
| [13:32] | Next question: Do you want children? | 下一个问题 你们想要孩子吗 |
| [13:34] | – Probably not. – Absolutely. | -也许不要 -绝对会要 |
| [13:37] | – You’re not religious. – Yes, I am. | -你又不信教 -我信啊 |
| [13:39] | I don’t talk about it because you’ll make me feel dumb. | 我只是从来不说 因为你会让我觉得自己很傻 |
| [13:41] | Why would you say that we want children? | 你为什么说我们想要孩子 |
| [13:43] | – Because I want them. – Well, I don’t. | -因为我想要 -我不想要 |
| [13:47] | This feels bad. | 感觉好尴尬 |
| [13:49] | Is it just me, or does this feel really bad? | 只有我一个人觉得气氛很尴尬吗 |
| [13:50] | – You said you weren’t sure. – Well, I changed my mind. | -你之前说不确定 -我改变主意了 |
| [13:53] | And I might change it again. Right now these are my beliefs. | 我也许会再次改变主意 这是我现在的信仰 |
| [13:56] | But who knows how I’ll feel in a couple years? | 但谁知道我几年后会怎么想 |
| [13:58] | Then they’re not beliefs. They’re whims. | 会变的不是信仰 是心血来潮的念头 |
| [14:03] | Ooh, that is not going to land well. | 哎呀 这场对话的结局不会好了 |
| [14:06] | He’s right, we should make these decisions before we get married. | 他说得对 我们应该在结婚前把决定做好 |
| [14:09] | What’s even the point? | 有什么意义呢 |
| [14:10] | Any rethinking I might do isn’t called “Growth” | 就算我改变主意 那也不是”成长” |
| [14:13] | but “Weakness” because Jimmy’s so goddamn set in his ways. | 而是”软弱” 因为吉米的想法永远非常坚定 |
| [14:16] | Can’t you fucking adjust something | 你这辈子就不能哪怕有一次 |
| [14:17] | for me for once in your life? | 为了我调整一下吗 |
| [14:18] | I have changed for you. | 我为你改变过的 |
| [14:20] | Guys, quick, name some of the things | 大家快帮我想一下 |
| [14:21] | I’ve adjusted for Gretchen. | 我为格雷琴做过的改变 |
| [14:26] | See? | 瞧吧 |
| [14:28] | – You can’t name one thing… – I sucked a dick for you! | -你连一件事都想不出来 -我为你舔了屌 |
| [14:35] | I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard that right. | 抱歉 我好像听错了 |
| [14:38] | Gretchen told me to suck a dick, so I did. | 格雷琴让我去舔屌 我就照做了 |
| [14:42] | I sucked one. | 我真的舔了屌 |
| [14:46] | I want a guy to suck a dick for me. | 我也想有个男人为我舔屌 |
| [14:49] | It all makes sense now, | 这下就说得通了 |
| [14:50] | because of how infrequently he wanted to make love. | 难怪他当初跟我在一起 想做爱的频率那么低 |
| [14:52] | Was I at least on the short list? | 我至少也该在你的舔屌候选名单上吧 |
| [14:54] | I always thought I’d be dope at that | 我一直觉得我的口技会很不错 |
| [14:56] | on account of how good I am at Popsicles. | 因为我舔冰棍的技巧非常娴熟 |
| [15:01] | Why are we stopping? | 我们为什么停了 |
| [15:05] | As far as I can hypothesize, I have an optic yeast infection. | 据我推断 我的眼睛应该是被酵母菌感染了 |
| [15:09] | Happens to the best home brewers. | 自酿酒者经常会遇到这种问题 |
| [15:11] | Move. I’ll drive. | 让开 我来开车 |
| [15:13] | We’ve also run out of fuel. | 而且我们没汽油了 |
| [15:16] | What? | 什么 |
| [15:17] | – I don’t have any service. – What?! | -我手机没信号了 -什么 |
| [15:19] | Me neither. | 我也是 |
| [15:21] | This was your plan all along, wasn’t it? | 这其实一直就是你的计划 对不对 |
| [15:24] | To trap us out here in the desert. | 把我们困在荒漠里 |
| [15:27] | I’m simply trying to have fun with this couple | 我只是想跟这对小情侣闹着玩 |
| [15:29] | who, by the way, clearly shouldn’t be getting married. | 顺便说下 他们显然不应该结婚 |
| [15:32] | Don’t make fun of my friends. | 不准嘲弄我的朋友们 |
| [15:35] | Some group of friends, Edgar. | 你这是什么狐朋狗友 埃德加 |
| [15:36] | The dick-hungry come lover whose script you clearly hated. | 这位”舔鸡似渴”的人 他的剧本你明显很讨厌 |
| [15:40] | Edgar? | 埃德加 |
| [15:41] | I’m sorry, Jimmy, I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. | 很抱歉 吉米 我不想伤害你的感情 |
| [15:43] | And the sad girl he barely even knows | 以及这个他几乎不怎么了解的悲伤女孩 |
| [15:45] | who tricked him into sucking a dick. | 骗他给男人舔了屌 |
| [15:49] | Then there’s this alcoholic Gorgon | 然后这个酗酒的女妖怪 |
| [15:51] | who boned her sister’s ex. | 还跟自己妹妹的前夫上床了 |
| [15:52] | I had her permission. | 我得到了她的允许 |
| [15:54] | – You did not! – Do me! Do me! | -并没有 -说我 快说我 |
| [15:57] | Then there’s her Howdy Doody husband | 以及她屎一样的丈夫 |
| [15:58] | who’s too lame to even waste a good insult on. | 实在太逊了 我都懒得羞辱他 |
| [16:01] | All right, that’s it. | 好了 够了 |
| [16:04] | Get off of this bus! | 滚下车 |
| [16:06] | Oh, let me think about it. Um, no. | 让我考虑一下 不要 |
| [16:08] | – Get out! Get out! – Watch yourself, Edgar. | -滚出去 滚出去 -当心点 埃德加 |
| [16:11] | I can make it so you never work in this town again. | 我可以让你永远在城里找不到工作 |
| [16:13] | I don’t care. You can be as hard on me as you want, | 我不在乎 随你怎么苛待我都行 |
| [16:16] | but don’t mess with my friends. | 但你不能羞辱我的朋友们 |
| [16:20] | What are you gonna do about it, loser? | 你能怎么办呢 废物 |
| [16:23] | I said… | 我说了 |
| [16:26] | get out! | 滚出去 |
| [16:38] | Is he okay? | 他没事吧 |
| [16:40] | Is he okay?! | 他没事吧 |
| [16:41] | I don’t know; I’m having a hard time remembering | 我不知道 我实在很难想起来身为医生 |
| [16:43] | what I’m supposed to do. | 我应该做什么 |
| [16:44] | R- I- C- E. What’s the “I”? | RICE I代表什么来着 |
| [16:50] | Where the hell are we? | 我们这是在什么鬼地方 |
| [16:51] | I may have taken a wrong turn when the yeast started to activate. | 酵母开始活化后 我可能在转弯时选错了路 |
| [16:55] | Why did you have to push him?! | 你为什么非得推他啊 |
| [16:57] | This is so bad. | 这下糟了 |
| [16:58] | You guys don’t know him like I do. | 你们不像我这么了解他 |
| [17:00] | He is going to ruin my life. | 他会毁了我的人生 |
| [17:04] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [17:05] | He’s a hostile combatant! | 他是个有敌意的战斗人员 |
| [17:06] | Oh, stop it. | 打住吧 |
| [17:08] | You’re acting as irrationally as you did | 你现在又表现得很不理智 |
| [17:09] | when you decided my screenplay needed work. | 就跟你说我的剧本还需要改进时一样 |
| [17:12] | Edgar’s right; we can’t trust this guy. | 埃德加说得对 我们不能信任这家伙 |
| [17:14] | He called me an alcoholic. | 他竟然说我是酒鬼 |
| [17:17] | What’s happening? | 什么情况 |
| [17:19] | Who’s fallen? | 谁摔下去了 |
| [17:24] | See? I told you. | 瞧吧 我就说吧 |
| [17:26] | What? | 什么 |
| [17:29] | Edgar? | 埃德加 |
| [17:31] | Guys? What’s happening? | 各位 什么情况 |
| [17:33] | Do not listen to him. | 别听他说的 |
| [17:35] | Edgar. | 埃德加 |
| [17:37] | You got to help me. My back really hurts. | 你得帮帮我 我得背部好疼 |
| [17:40] | Why did you push me down the stairs? | 你为什么把我从车上推下来 |
| [17:43] | Why are you all standing over me? | 你们为什么都围着我 |
| [17:45] | What are you gonna do to me? | 你们要把我怎么样 |
| [17:46] | I’m sorry if I’ve been hard on you at work, | 如果我在工作上苛待你了 对不起 |
| [17:49] | – but don’t do this. – Why do you have this?! | -但是别这么做 -你怎么会有这把枪 |
| [17:51] | I- I was uncomfortable working with you. | 跟你一起工作 让我不舒服 |
| [17:54] | I mean, you’re a disgruntled employee with PTSD. | 你是个心怀不满的员工 还患有创伤后应激障碍 |
| [17:57] | – He has a point! – And then you pushed me down the stairs. | -他说的有道理 -然后你把我从车上推下来 |
| [18:00] | And then I woke up, | 然后我醒来 |
| [18:01] | and you’re all standing over me in the middle of the desert! | 发现自己身处沙漠 你们都站在我身边围成一圈 |
| [18:17] | What are we gonna do? | 我们要怎么办 |
| [18:18] | I’ll take care of him. | 我来处理他 |
| [18:23] | It’s okay. I’m fine. | 没事 我没事 |
| [18:26] | Oh, my God! What’s happening?! | 天呐 发生什么事了 |
| [18:29] | Someone tell me what’s happening! | 谁来告诉我到底发生什么事了 |
| [18:36] | I’m so cold. | 我好冷啊 |
| [18:37] | Why can’t I stand up? | 我怎么站不起来了 |
| [18:39] | What did you do?! He’s a doctor! | 你做了什么 他是个医生啊 |
| [18:42] | He said he was gonna take care of me! | 他说他要处理我 |
| [18:43] | I- I thought he was coming over to kill me! | 我以为他是要来杀我 |
| [18:45] | I told you he was a psychopath! | 我就说他有精神病吧 |
| [18:47] | Oh, God, and now he’s dead. | 天呐 这下他死了 |
| [18:51] | Just like all of you are about to be dead. | 就像你们所有人都要死了 |
| [18:55] | What did you say? | 你刚说什么 |
| [18:56] | Oh, nothing. | 没什么 |
| [18:58] | Just, um, spitballing here, but, uh, | 就随便这么一说 但 |
| [19:01] | I think maybe now I have to kill all of you. | 我觉得或许现在我不得不杀了你们所有人 |
| [19:06] | – You… – I’m not joking, fuck- face. | -你… -我没开玩笑 傻逼 |
| [19:09] | This is actually my dream. | 这实际上一直是我的梦想 |
| [19:11] | You drew first blood. | 你先动手的 |
| [19:13] | The security camera on this bus | 巴士上的监控录像 |
| [19:14] | will show you pushing me down the stairs. | 会显示你把我推下车 |
| [19:16] | But out here, no camera. | 但在这里 没有摄像头 |
| [19:19] | Oh, yes, from here on out, it’s all self- defense. | 从现在开始 我的行为都算是自卫了 |
| [19:29] | Oh, no. | 不要 |
| [19:32] | No! | 不要 |
| [19:35] | You’re first, Edgar. | 你第一个死 埃德加 |
| [19:38] | No. No! | 不 不要 |
| [19:43] | He’s okay, right? | 他没事 对吧 |
| [19:45] | Are you okay? Are you okay? | 你没事吧 你没事吧 |
| [20:00] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [20:03] | Breathe. Just breathe. | 呼吸 呼吸啊 |
| [20:06] | I am. I’m calm. | 我…我很冷静 |
| [20:08] | We- we just killed someone! | 我们刚杀了一个人 |
| [20:11] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [20:13] | We have to leave. | 我们得跑路了 |
| [20:16] | Mexico. | 去墨西哥 |
| [20:17] | We have to go to Mexico. | 我们得逃去墨西哥 |
| [20:19] | You’d do that? | 你愿意那么做 |
| [20:20] | As long as we’re together. | 只要我们在一起就行 |
| [20:22] | You guys! | 你们听着 |
| [20:23] | I can’t. I can’t. | 我去不了 我去不了 |
| [20:26] | – Calm down. – I can’t! | -冷静 -我去不了 |
| [20:28] | Gretchen, you have to hold this for me. | 格雷琴 你一定要帮我好好保管着这个 |
| [20:42] | Shh! | 嘘 |
| [20:47] | – What the…? – Surprise! | -什么… -惊喜 |
| [20:51] | What is happening? I don’t understand. | 什么情况 我不明白 |
| [20:53] | Which part? The part where Lindsay and I | 哪一部分不明白 是说琳赛和我策划了 |
| [20:56] | orchestrated the best bachelor/bachelorette party ever? | 史上最棒的单身汉/单身女郎派对这一部分吗 |
| [21:01] | I, uh… yes. I’m speechless. | 我…没错 我说不出话来了 |
| [21:04] | – Bravo, everyone. – Yeah. | -太棒了 各位 -没错 |
| [21:08] | Jimmy, is this real life? | 吉米 这是现实世界吗 |
| [21:21] | So, pretty good, huh? | 相当精彩 对吧 |
| [21:25] | You let us murder someone. | 你让我们杀了人 |
| [21:28] | How did you…? | 你们是怎么… |
| [21:29] | Well, we knew you’d demand real booze | 我们知道 如果我们说用保罗自酿的酒 |
| [21:32] | – if we had Paul make home brew. – What? | -你肯定会要求去买真正的酒 -什么 |
| [21:34] | But I brewed the ale in good faith, | 但我酿那些酒是出自真心啊 |
| [21:36] | independent of the scheming. | 跟整个计划无关 |
| [21:37] | It led us to where Paul F. Tompkins would be waiting. | 那就引导我们来到保罗·汤普金斯等待的地方 |
| [21:40] | And you, sir… | 然后你 先生… |
| [21:42] | I knew eight years of stage combat would pay off. | 我就知道长达8年的武打经验肯定会有用武之地 |
| [21:45] | Plus, I make my own squibs. | 再说了 我还可以自己写讽刺段子 |
| [21:47] | So, you and Edgar aren’t… | 所以 你和埃德加不会… |
| [21:49] | Working together anymore? No. | 不再合作了吗 是的 |
| [21:51] | So, with this, you are free. | 有了这个 你就获得自由身了 |
| [21:54] | And you promise not to go to DB Industries’ HR department | 你必须保证不再去找DB公司的人力部门 |
| [21:56] | with any more allegations of alleged abuse. | 指控我有虐待你的行为 |
| [22:01] | Got to say, | 不得不说 |
| [22:02] | that disgusting threesome runner you guys made up? | 你们编造的3P故事 |
| [22:05] | I almost broke, like, five times. | 我好几次都恶心得演不下去 |
| [22:12] | We are not leaving you behind. | 我们不会丢下你的 |
| [22:14] | – Calm the fuck down. – Okay. | -冷静吧 -好的 |
| [22:25] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [22:25] | Mexico? I thought you hated change. | 竟然提议去墨西哥 我以为你讨厌改变 |
| [22:29] | I suppose there might be some circumstances in life | 或许人生中会发生一些情况 |
| [22:32] | that do change things, like murder. | 真的会改变很多事 比如杀人 |
| [22:35] | Or kids. | 或者孩子 |
| [22:37] | Right. | 没错 |
| [22:39] | Or murder. | 或者杀人 |
| [22:44] | Congrats on knocking up my big sister, you stud. | 恭喜你把我姐姐肚子搞大了 种马 |
| [22:49] | I heartily apologize. | 我诚心地道歉 |
| [22:52] | It’s okay. | 没事 |
| [22:54] | Sister fucker. | 操姐男 |
| [22:57] | Ew, you made my sister come. | 真恶心 你让我姐高潮了 |
| [23:01] | Ew. | 好恶心 |
| [23:04] | No, don’t make me laugh. | 别 别逗我笑 |
| [23:06] | Tears will feed the yeast. | 眼泪会刺激酵母活性化 |
| [23:08] | ♪Anytime you’re feeling lonely♪ | ♪每当你觉得孤寂♪ |
| [23:18] | ♪Anytime you’re feeling blue♪ | ♪每当你觉得忧郁♪ |
| [23:28] | ♪Anytime you feel downhearted♪ | ♪每当你觉得沮丧♪ |
| [23:36] | ♪That will prove your love to me is true♪ | ♪那就证明你对我的爱是真的♪ |
| [23:46] | ♪Anytime you’re thinking ’bout me♪ | ♪每当你想我的时候♪ |
| [23:55] | ♪That’s the time I’m thinking ’bout you.♪ | ♪也正是我想你的时候♪ |
| [24:04] | So? | 怎么样 |
| [24:06] | Hard- core? | 狂野吧 |
| [24:08] | Hard- core. | 相当狂野 |
| [24:09] | – One plot hole. – Hmm? | -但有个漏洞 -什么 |
| [24:11] | How did you know we’d shoot him? | 你怎么知道我们会开枪打他 |
| [24:12] | Ah, we didn’t know for sure, but you did. | 我们之前并不能确定 但你真的做了 |
| [24:14] | You killed him to save me. | 你为了救我而杀了他 |
| [24:15] | Ultimate bad boy move, huh? | 终极坏男孩行为 对吧 |
| [24:17] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [24:19] | Wait, where’d you get the gun? | 你从哪儿搞到那把枪的 |
| [24:21] | Oh, your dad bought it when he came to visit, remember? | 你爸上次来家里做客时买的 还记得吗 |
| [24:23] | You’ve had a gun in your room since then? | 你从那时候起 房间里就一直藏着一把枪吗 |
| [24:25] | Wow. I’ve called you some truly awful things this past year. | 天呐 过去的一年我有时骂你骂得很难听 |
| [24:30] | You could’ve just ended it all. | 你完全可以一枪结束一切的 |
| [24:32] | – Well, yeah, I mean… – The constant nay- saying, | -我是说… -不断被拒绝 |
| [24:34] | the endless cooking and cleaning, | 无休止的做饭和清洁工作 |
| [24:36] | the irrational subservience. | 时不时还要卑躬屈膝拍马屁 |
| [24:38] | With a simple twitch of your finger, | 其实你只需要动一动手指 |
| [24:40] | the misery could have ceased forever. | 这悲惨的生活就彻底结束了 |
| [24:42] | And still, you chose not to kill yourself. | 但是 你还是决定不自杀 |
| [24:47] | Bravo, Edgar. | 太厉害了 埃德加 |
| [24:52] | I’m sorry about the script, Jimmy, | 吉米 剧本那事我很抱歉 |
| [24:53] | but you can’t turn it in. | 但你不能就这么交上去 |
| [24:57] | I suspected it wasn’t very good. | 我也怀疑那个剧本不怎么好 |
| [24:59] | Will you help me fix it? | 你愿意帮我修改吗 |
| [25:02] | Yeah. | 好啊 |
| [25:03] | I’ll call the studio, say you’re consulting. | 我会联系制片公司 说你是顾问 |
| [25:05] | – Co-writing. – Fine. | -联合编剧 -好吧 |
| [25:08] | Just promise you’ll never lie to me again. | 你必须保证再也不会对我撒谎 |
| [25:11] | I promise. | 我保证 |
| [25:19] | Gretchen’s been stealing meds from my medicine cabinet, | 格雷琴一直在从我的药柜里偷药 |
| [25:22] | – a ton of them, for weeks now. – So what? She loves pills. | -偷了很多 持续好几周了 -那又如何 她喜欢药 |
| [25:25] | No. This is the serious stuff. | 不 这回事情很严重 |
| [25:28] | And I don’t think it’s for fun this time. | 我觉得她这次吃药不是为了找乐子 |