| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:42] | You! Clean that window. | 你 把那扇窗户擦干净 |
| [00:43] | Yes, sir. | 好的 先生 |
| [00:45] | Pistachios? This isn’t a baseball game. | 开心果 又不是看棒球赛 |
| [00:49] | No, you want to present the plate– aioli smear at 12:00, | 不 上菜时要让蒜泥蛋黄酱那边正对12点钟方向 |
| [00:53] | and for God’s sake, call them servilletes. | 老天啊 纸巾一定要用洋气的说法「巾帕」 |
| [01:02] | All good. Smashing. No notes. | 都没问题 完美 没其他意见了 |
| [01:05] | Atención! | 全体注意 |
| [01:08] | Hello, help. | 各位仆人好 |
| [01:10] | In my history as a wedding guest, | 我以前作为宾客参加婚礼时 |
| [01:12] | I have successfully heckled so many ceremonies, | 曾经成功羞辱过多场仪式 |
| [01:15] | people are gonna be gunning for us today. | 今天出席的宾客会伺机报复我们 |
| [01:17] | Thus, our nuptials must be absolutely flawless. | 因此 我们的婚礼必须无可挑剔 |
| [01:21] | So, in the tradition of punching a bully | 所以 按照揍一个恶霸 |
| [01:24] | to demonstrate one’s gravitas, | 以显示严肃认真性的惯例 |
| [01:25] | you, ma’am, are sacked. | 你 女士 被炒了 |
| [01:28] | You have been made redundant. You are proper on the dole now. | 你被裁掉了 你可以去领失业救济金了 |
| [01:31] | Let that be a warning to you all. | 这叫杀一儆百 |
| [01:34] | Oh, and have fun! | 你们玩得开心 |
| [02:10] | 我的婚礼誓词 吉米·希瓦-奥弗利 编写 | |
| [02:12] | 我 吉米·希瓦-奥弗利郑重发誓从今天起 从今往后 与你格雷琴·卡特勒结为合法夫妻 矢志不渝 | |
| [02:17] | Jimmy! Blessed day. | 吉米 今天是大喜日子 |
| [02:19] | Really, just jacked to shit. I love you so goddamn much. | 真的 奢华无比 我太他妈爱你了 |
| [02:23] | Anyfarts, what are you doing out here? | 话说 你在这里干什么 |
| [02:25] | Editing my vows, but now I’ve pulled a thread. | 修改我的婚誓 但我扯出一根线头后 |
| [02:28] | It’s all starting to unravel. | 整篇誓词就开始散架了 |
| [02:29] | I did that to a sweater once. | 我也曾这样拆掉了一件毛衣 |
| [02:31] | You hear Gretchen’s vows yet? | 你听了格雷琴的誓词没有 |
| [02:32] | No, but I cannot wait. | 还没 但我等不及了 |
| [02:33] | You know they’re gonna be so emo. | 你知道她的誓词一定情绪泛滥 |
| [02:36] | I hope she cries so hard she vomits. | 但愿她到时痛哭到吐 |
| [02:39] | – Oh, shit! – Hey, welcome, guys. | -该死 -欢迎你们的到来 |
| [02:41] | We can’t see each other. | 我跟她现在不能见面 |
| [02:45] | Gretchen. | 格雷琴 |
| [02:46] | – Missed you. – Huh, glad they’re on good terms again. | -想死你啦 -他们和好了 真好 |
| [02:48] | Hurry, hand it over. | 快点 给我 |
| [02:50] | What’s he handing her? | 他给她什么了 |
| [02:51] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [02:54] | That was weird. Anyjunk, what’s up? | 真奇怪 管他妈的 有什么事吗 |
| [02:56] | Why’d you need me early? | 为什么叫我提早来 |
| [02:57] | Last-minute titty bar? | 紧急去趟脱衣舞酒吧吗 |
| [02:58] | No. You’re best man now. | 不是 现在你是伴郎了 |
| [03:01] | What? | 什么 |
| [03:03] | What?! | 什么 |
| [03:04] | No. No. | 不 不会吧 |
| [03:07] | Oh, my God! | 我的老天呐 |
| [03:10] | Well, well, well. | 哟 哟 哟 |
| [03:12] | Here comes my big apology. | 某人来向我道歉了 |
| [03:14] | Vernon, you’re no longer best man. | 弗南 你不再是伴郎了 |
| [03:16] | Oh, okay. That’s-that’s fine. I’m fine. | 好吧 没关系 我没受伤 |
| [03:25] | – All right. Let’s have it. – Let’s have what? | -好了 开始吧 -开始什么 |
| [03:27] | The begging, the groveling. | 卑躬屈膝地跪求我 |
| [03:30] | Perhaps one of your signature pancakes | 或者做你拿手的薄煎饼 |
| [03:32] | with “Sorry” spelled out in frosting. | 用糖霜在上面拼出”对不起”三个字 |
| [03:35] | Oh, no, I meant what I said. | 不 我那些话是真心的 |
| [03:37] | I just came to bring you your rings. | 我只是来给你送戒指的 |
| [03:39] | Oh, shit. Right, yeah. | 该死 对哦 |
| [03:40] | I was, uh, about to text you for these. | 我正要发短信提醒你送过来 |
| [03:59] | Katie Overholser was not the kind of girl you could ignore, | 凯蒂·奥弗霍尔泽不是你能无视的那种女孩 |
| [04:03] | so when she went missing… | 所以当她失踪后… |
| [04:04] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [04:05] | Waiting here in case you change your mind | 在这儿等着 以防你改变主意 |
| [04:06] | and need a quick getaway. | 需要迅速逃走 |
| [04:08] | And it was that swiftness, with which the search for Katie began, | 正是因为他们迅速开始寻找凯蒂 |
| [04:11] | that would, four days later, lead to her death. | 反而导致她在四天后死亡 |
| [04:18] | You’re best man again. | 你又是伴郎了 |
| [04:21] | What a roller coaster! | 真是过山车般的刺激体验 |
| [04:23] | It tastes so much sweeter now that it was taken away. | 曾经被夺走过的果实现在尝起来更加香甜 |
| [04:25] | Your first order of business: get rid of Edgar. | 你的第一个任务 就是赶走埃德加 |
| [04:44] | Hey, Paul. | 保罗你好呀 |
| [04:45] | Lindsay. Perhaps you can help me. | 琳赛 或许你能帮帮我 |
| [04:48] | It says I’m assigned to Table 13, | 卡片写着我被分配到13号桌 |
| [04:50] | but I don’t see any other guests assigned to that table. | 但我没看到其他宾客被分配到那桌 |
| [04:53] | Cool mystery. | 未解之谜 |
| [04:56] | It was really nice talking on the phone last night. | 昨晚跟你打电话聊天 感觉很不错 |
| [04:59] | It was, wasn’t it? | 确实不错 对吧 |
| [05:02] | I’m glad to see I’m not the only one here without a date. | 看到我不是唯一一个没携伴出席的人 真好 |
| [05:05] | – Oh, I’m actually… – Here you go, lover. | -其实我… -给你 亲爱的 |
| [05:08] | Thank you. Keep the change. | 谢谢 零钱你留着吧 |
| [05:11] | Seriously? Whoa. | 真的吗 太好了 |
| [05:14] | No one ever tips at the Froyo store. | 冻酸奶店从来没人给小费 |
| [05:16] | I’ve thought about putting a cup out, | 我曾考虑过放一个小费罐 |
| [05:17] | but it just feels desperate, you know? | 但那简直像在觍着脸找人要钱 |
| [05:19] | You brought the Froyo guy? | 你带了冻酸奶店的人一起出席 |
| [05:21] | I didn’t want to come alone. | 我不想一个人来嘛 |
| [05:22] | Anyway, I better get this Bride Fuel to Gretchen. | 总之 我得赶紧把「新娘燃料」拿去给格雷琴 |
| [05:26] | See you boys later. | 回见 帅哥们 |
| [05:32] | Hey, got any errands you need done for tips? | 嘿 需要人帮忙跑腿吗 给点小费就行 |
| [05:37] | Actually, would you see what you can find out about Table 13? | 事实上 你去查查看13号桌是怎么回事 |
| [05:41] | Will do, boss. | 这就去 老板 |
| [05:47] | Okay, it’s on. | 好了 穿好了 |
| [05:49] | Hold on! | 等一下 |
| [05:50] | You’re going to want this moment captured forever. | 你会希望永久记录下这一刻的 |
| [05:54] | Okay, come out. Let’s see it. | 好了 出来吧 让我看看 |
| [06:03] | It’s so beautiful. | 太美了 |
| [06:16] | Gretchen. | 格雷琴 |
| [06:17] | I can’t believe this day is finally here. | 我不敢相信这一天终于到来了 |
| [06:19] | Oh, if you make me cry, I’ll kill you. | 如果你害我哭了 我会杀了你的 |
| [06:22] | I mean, think about all the men it took to get here. | 想想你经历了多少男人才走到今天 |
| [06:25] | – All right. – So, so many men. | -行了 -那么那么多男人 |
| [06:28] | So many men… that I wrote a song about it. | 那么多男人 以至于我甚至为此写了首歌 |
| [06:33] | It’s called | 就叫做 |
| [06:35] | “The Very Last Dick.” | 《最后一根屌》 |
| [06:36] | No. | 不 |
| [06:39] | I love you, though. | 不过我是爱你的 |
| [06:40] | Well, I love you, too. Just a few lines? | 我也爱你 要不就听几句 |
| [06:43] | I rhyme Horatio and fel… | 我双押了霍雷肖和费… |
| [06:44] | No, no, no, no. Shh. | 不 不 不 安静 |
| [07:00] | – It’s Jimmy. – Jimmy. | -是吉米 -吉米 |
| [07:08] | There they are. | 他们在那边 |
| [07:11] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [07:13] | Excuse me. | 借过 |
| [07:14] | Yeah, I’d still do him. | 没错 我还会愿意上他 |
| [07:16] | – Nice suit. – Hello. | -西装很帅 -你好 |
| [07:18] | – Hey, how’s it going? – Yeah, excuse me. | -怎么样 -不错 借过 |
| [07:19] | – Groom advice. – Yeah, thank you. | -给新郎的建议 -好了 谢谢 |
| [07:20] | Advice for the groom, excuse me. | 给新郎的建议 打扰一下 |
| [07:23] | Just know that she’s never gonna change. | 记清楚 她永远不会改变 |
| [07:26] | Lindsay sure didn’t. | 琳赛当年就没变 |
| [07:28] | Well, until she wanted to plow other guys in front of me. | 直到她想当着我的面和其他男人操逼 |
| [07:31] | That was a rather seismic shift. | 那可真是惊天动地的巨变 |
| [07:33] | – Yeah, cuck, bye. – But, hey, I have earthquake insurance. | -好了 绿帽公 再见 -但幸好我有「地震保险」 |
| [07:35] | Jimmy, never go back. | 吉米 永远别回头 |
| [07:37] | Oh, wait, that’s the tagline for Jack Reacher 2. | 等等 那是《侠探杰克2》的宣传语 |
| [07:40] | Did you know that Tom Cruise is actually six-foot-one? | 你知道汤姆·克鲁斯身高1.86米吗 |
| [07:42] | If you want to add that to your vows, Jimmy, go ahead. | 如果你想把这加进婚誓里 吉米 大胆地加 |
| [07:45] | What? | 什么 |
| [07:47] | I’ve been reading about you in the trades. | 我在杂志上看到关于你的消息了 |
| [07:49] | Shame about your movie. | 你那电影的事真可惜 |
| [07:50] | But you’ll sell another one. | 但你还会再卖出一部电影版权的 |
| [07:52] | Or get staffed. | 或者招些员工 |
| [07:54] | You have to, because you’re marrying my daughter, | 你必须如此 因为你要娶我女儿了 |
| [07:57] | which means you’re responsible for her now, forever. | 也就是说现在你要对她负责 永远负责 |
| [08:01] | Yeah, unlike you. Cheers, bye-bye. | 是啊 不像你 再见 拜拜 |
| [08:03] | Oh, this is great, Jimmy. | 太好了 吉米 |
| [08:04] | All weddings should open with alcohol times. | 所有婚礼都应该以酒精开场 |
| [08:06] | I got blue one and other one. | 我有杯蓝的 还有另外一种 |
| [08:10] | What happened? | 怎么回事 |
| [08:10] | I slept with my Uber driver last night. | 我昨晚睡了我的优步司机 |
| [08:15] | Well, well, well. | 哟 哟 哟 |
| [08:17] | I am so happy for the two of you. | 我真替你们两个高兴 |
| [08:20] | Look, just say whatever awful thing you’re gonna say. | 听着 你想说什么难听的话 就直说吧 |
| [08:22] | No, I’m serious. | 不 我是认真的 |
| [08:23] | I think you guys are perfect for each other. | 我觉得你们简直是天造地设的一对 |
| [08:25] | – That said… – Here we go. | -尽管如此… -终于来了 |
| [08:28] | …since you’re not technically married yet, | 既然你们还没真正结婚 |
| [08:31] | my pregnancy hormones have made me extra squishy. | 我的妊娠激素让我格外”湿哒哒”的 |
| [08:38] | – Everyone here’s an alcoholic. – Jimmy! | -这里的所有人都是酒鬼 -吉米 |
| [08:40] | He’s coming, he’s coming, he’s coming, he’s coming. | 他来了 他来了 他来了 他来了 |
| [08:41] | – See? – You’re right. | -看吧 -你说得对 |
| [08:42] | Jimmy! What a beautiful day. | 吉米 真是美好的一天 |
| [08:44] | I got goose bumps already. | 我这就已经起鸡皮疙瘩了 |
| [08:46] | It reminds me of my nuptials, except, you know, | 这让我想起了我的婚礼 只不过 你也知道 |
| [08:48] | less timelessly elegant. | 没有这么高雅 |
| [08:50] | – Uh, was I there? – Yes. | -我当时在场吗 -在的 |
| [08:51] | Yes, yes, great event. So lovely. | 是的 是的 办得不错 特别温馨 |
| [08:53] | Listen, what did you fellas hand Gretchen this morning? | 听着 你们今早给了格雷琴什么东西 |
| [08:57] | – Uh, Forever Stamps. – Passport photo for your honeymoon. | -永久邮票 -你们度蜜月要用的护照照片 |
| [08:59] | – Uh, cash. – Ticket to Dudamel’s Mahler cycle. | -现金 -杜达梅尔指挥的马勒曲的门票 |
| [09:00] | – Mafia-style. – Bitcoins. | -像黑手党风格那样 -比特币 |
| [09:03] | Okay, fine. She asked us for coke. | 好吧 她找我们要可卡因 |
| [09:06] | She was worried she’d get too drunk and ruin the special day. | 她担心自己喝太醉 毁了这特别的一天 |
| [09:08] | Oh. Oh, well, phew, what a relief. | 好吧 真让我松了口气 |
| [09:11] | I thought it was something bad. No follow-ups. | 我还以为是什么糟糕的东西 我不会继续追问了 |
| [09:15] | There you are. The photographer needs us around back. | 你在这啊 摄影师要我们去后边 |
| [09:17] | Did you get rid of Edgar? | 你把埃德加赶走了吗 |
| [09:18] | It’s in process. Just get your butt out there and look pretty. | 还在努力 你赶紧过去 帅气地拍照就行了 |
| [09:24] | Lindsay. | 琳赛 |
| [09:26] | Huge emergency. | 紧急大事 |
| [09:27] | Edgar’s in his car and you need to get rid of him, | 埃德加在他的车里 你得把他赶走 |
| [09:31] | and I’m commandeering these on behalf of the groom. | 并且我代表新郎 征用这两杯酒 |
| [09:33] | Nothing I do today counts. Bye! | 今天我做什么都不算数 拜 |
| [09:36] | So, you were sleeping together? | 所以你们睡到一起了 |
| [09:39] | – Yeah, I mean… – What? | -是的 我是说 -什么 |
| [09:40] | How could she not tell the attorney | 她怎么能不告诉那个律师 |
| [09:41] | that she used to date Kevin? | 她曾经和凯文在一起过 |
| [09:43] | Fuck. | 操 |
| [09:45] | Jesus, Lindsay. | 天啊 琳赛 |
| [09:48] | What the fuck are you doing out here in your car? | 你他妈一个人坐在车里 躲在场地外面干什么 |
| [09:51] | I told Jimmy not to marry Gretchen. | 我跟吉米说不要和格雷琴结婚 |
| [09:53] | What?! | 什么 |
| [09:56] | Edgar. | 埃德加 |
| [09:58] | Jesus, you are the dumb one. | 天呐 你果然是最笨的那个 |
| [10:01] | You killed the group. | 你毁了我们这个团体 |
| [10:23] | That’s why I didn’t say anything; it was just for us. | 所以我才什么都没说 只有我们知道 |
| [10:25] | But you knew it could be important. | 但你知道这可能会很重要 |
| [10:29] | Okay, now Charlie’s Angels. | 接下来拍《霹雳娇娃》造型 |
| [10:33] | Twins poster. | 《龙兄鼠弟》海报 |
| [10:37] | You have four arms! | 你长了四条胳膊 |
| [10:39] | An Officer and a Gentleman. I’m the lady. | 《军官与绅士》 我来演女士 |
| [10:41] | Catch me! | 接住我 |
| [10:46] | Weekend at Bernie’s. | 《老板度假去》 |
| [10:51] | Right, I think we’re good, yeah? | 好了 应该差不多了吧 |
| [10:52] | I’ll take the bride and maid of honor next. | 接下来拍新娘和伴娘 |
| [10:54] | Quick, go that way so you don’t run into her. | 快 你往那边走 这样不会撞到她 |
| [11:17] | Oh, my God, Jimmy, I’d hit it. | 天呐 吉米 我愿意上她 |
| [11:19] | I was never sure before, but now, yeah, | 我以前一直不确定 但我现在确定了 |
| [11:23] | I’d definitely hit it. | 我绝对愿意上她 |
| [11:27] | Someone said that Vernon was taking photos with Jimmy. | 有人说弗南在跟吉米一起拍照 |
| [11:30] | How come? | 怎么会这样 |
| [11:31] | Uh, yeah, no biggie, but Vernon is Jimmy’s best man now. | 没什么 就是弗南现在是吉米的伴郎 |
| [11:34] | Ooh, let’s do the Stanky Legg. | 我们来跳转腿舞 |
| [11:37] | What? Why? Where’s Edgar? | 什么 为什么 埃德加去哪儿了 |
| [11:40] | – The fiber testing– it failed spectacularly. – No! | -纤维测试 完全失败了 -不要 |
| [11:43] | What is the D.A. Doing? | 地检在干什么 |
| [11:45] | The cops could’ve dragged in those fibers on their shoes. | 那些纤维可能是警察鞋子上带进来的 |
| [11:58] | Most girlfriends would have | 大多数女朋友 |
| [11:59] | tolerated you for a month maybe. | 也许可以忍受你一个月吧 |
| [12:03] | But letting you stay with him | 但是让你住在他家 |
| [12:05] | was, at times of particular assholishness, | 尽管他有时候是天下第一混蛋 |
| [12:08] | the one humanizing thing about Jimmy. | 那算是吉米唯一有人性的一面了 |
| [12:11] | Listen, I-I never meant to… | 听我说 我不是故意… |
| [12:13] | I wouldn’t say a word. I really wouldn’t. | 我建议你一句话都别说 真的 |
| [12:16] | And while I liked you, Edgar, | 我虽然曾经很喜欢你 埃德加 |
| [12:19] | the one thing I could never do was respect you. | 我永远无法做到尊重你 |
| [12:23] | Because the first few times it’s like, | 最开始的几次我还有点内疚 |
| [12:24] | “Hey, be nicer to the guy.” | “嘿 我应该对他好一点” |
| [12:27] | But the next 2,000 times, that’s on you. | 但是接下来的两千次 是你自作自受 |
| [12:30] | I know. That’s why I’m here. | 我知道 所以我此刻才会这样 |
| [12:31] | He is never going to respect you. | 他永远不会尊重你的 |
| [12:35] | Never. Never. | 永远 永远不会 |
| [12:40] | I’m just trying to stop him from making a mistake. | 我只是想阻止他犯错 |
| [12:42] | I don’t even pity you anymore. | 我现在甚至不可怜你了 |
| [12:45] | I just hate you now. | 我只是恨你 |
| [12:47] | Leave. | 你走吧 |
| [12:51] | Leave now. | 赶紧走 |
| [13:25] | And it was. They just threw out the case. | 就这样 他们拒绝受理这个案子 |
| [13:30] | Hey, friend. Bad news. | 朋友 坏消息 |
| [13:32] | There is no Table 13. | 根本没有13号桌 |
| [13:34] | – I don’t understand. – Seems it’s an old wedding joke | -我不明白 -那似乎是个老旧的婚礼笑话 |
| [13:37] | for someone no one wants to sit with. | 用来捉弄没人愿意与之坐一起的人 |
| [13:39] | Oh, dear. | 天呐 |
| [13:43] | Oh, my. That’s dispiriting. | 我的天呐 太打击人了 |
| [13:46] | Yeah, anyway, why don’t we say 50 bucks? | 是啊 我的报酬就按50块来吧 |
| [13:51] | I’ll give you $200 to leave. | 我给你200块 你走吧 |
| [13:53] | Deal. | 成交 |
| [14:03] | All right, Ben Folds. | 好了 本·弗茨 |
| [14:04] | Ready to get your socks knocked off? | 准备好大吃一惊了吗 |
| [14:09] | Whoa, that’s delicious. | 哇 真是太美味了 |
| [14:11] | What the heck is it? | 这到底是什么 |
| [14:12] | – It’s called trash juice. – Trash juice. | -这叫黑暗饮料 -黑暗饮料 |
| [14:15] | It’s magnificent. | 真是太好喝了 |
| [14:18] | I knew I’d find you one day. | 我就知道总有一天能找到欣赏它的人 |
| [14:32] | Ladies and gentlemen, we will be opening the doors | 女士们先生们 15分钟后 |
| [14:36] | to the main hall in 15 minutes. | 主厅入口会打开 |
| [14:47] | Wait. What’s “Squishy”? | 等等 什么”湿哒哒”的 |
| [14:50] | Everything. | 一切 |
| [15:05] | Jimbo, I have a very special guest. | 吉宝 来了一位特殊客人 |
| [15:08] | MILF alert, MILF alert. It’s Gretchen’s mom. | 熟女警告 熟女警告 是格雷琴的妈妈 |
| [15:16] | Just say whatever you need to say. | 你想说什么就说吧 |
| [15:18] | It’s not gonna change anything. | 但这改变不了任何事 |
| [15:21] | This was from her great-grandmother, Gretchen. | 这个曾经属于雷琴的外曾祖母格雷琴 |
| [15:25] | She was similarly feisty. | 她们一样暴躁易怒 |
| [15:27] | I’d appreciate it if you’d give it to her before the ceremony. | 希望你可以在婚礼开始前交给她 |
| [15:31] | Something old. | 算是习俗中的”旧物” |
| [15:35] | A word of advice, Jimmy. | 我给你个建议 吉米 |
| [15:37] | The more you love Gretchen and try to take care of her, | 你越爱格雷琴 越想照顾她 |
| [15:40] | the more she’ll resent you. | 她就会越恨你 |
| [15:43] | I really love her. | 我真的很爱她 |
| [15:46] | I’m glad. | 我很欣慰 |
| [15:55] | So, you and Katie were lovers? | 所以你和凯蒂曾经是恋人吗 |
| [15:57] | That sounds so old-timey. | 听起来好老旧过时啊 |
| [16:00] | Look, Gretchen, I’m not leaving. | 格雷琴 我不会离开的 |
| [16:02] | – Okay? – Take me home, Dmitri. | -明白吗 -带我回家吧 迪米特里 |
| [16:04] | I’m not your Lyft, Ben Folds. | 我不是你的网约车司机 本·弗茨 |
| [16:06] | For real? Dang, I keep doing that. | 真的吗 该死 我怎么总犯这种错误 |
| [16:10] | I remember you. | 我记得你 |
| [16:11] | You’re friend with that British guy. | 你跟那个英国人是朋友 |
| [16:14] | How do you do it? | 你是怎么做到的 |
| [16:16] | Adult friendships are so hard to maintain. | 成年人的友谊太难维持了 |
| [16:18] | Billy Corgan and I were really close until that year | 我以前和比利·考根关系很好 直到那年 |
| [16:21] | that I got the better greenroom at Weenie Roast. | 我在维尼音乐节上拿到了更好的休息室 |
| [16:24] | He never got over that. | 他一直耿耿于怀 |
| [16:26] | Point is, you’re lucky. | 重点是 你很幸运 |
| [16:33] | Okay, there’s my ride. | 好 我的网约车来了 |
| [16:35] | Folds out, motherfucker. | 弗茨下车了 混蛋 |
| [16:46] | And then she died. | 然后 她就死了 |
| [17:10] | Ah, okay. | 好嘞 |
| [17:13] | Hell yeah. | 好诶 |
| [17:26] | No, no, no! | 不不不 |
| [17:27] | I am not supposed to see you. | 我今晚不能见你的 |
| [17:29] | What are you doing in here? | 你来这儿干什么 |
| [17:31] | You didn’t write your vows? | 你没写誓词吗 |
| [17:32] | What? What are you even talking about? | 什么 你在说什么呢 |
| [17:36] | I have them right… Oh, fine. | 我写好了就放在…好吧 |
| [17:40] | I had the boys help me. | 我让小伙子们帮我了 |
| [17:42] | You care so little about this wedding | 你如此不重视我们的婚礼 |
| [17:45] | that you even farmed out your vows? | 以至于连誓词都找人来代笔吗 |
| [17:47] | No. I care so much that I hired a professional. | 不 我就是太重视了才雇了个专业人士啊 |
| [17:52] | Shitstain had his first poem in The New Yorker when he was 19. | 施斯坦19岁就在《纽约客》上发表诗歌处女作了 |
| [17:55] | You don’t pick out the flowers, you don’t get your own dress, fine. | 你不选花 不挑婚纱 这都没关系 |
| [17:58] | But these, these are your vows! | 但这 这可是你的誓词 |
| [18:01] | They’re a sacred pledge to me, | 那是你对我神圣的誓约 |
| [18:04] | and you have someone else write them? | 你却让别人代写吗 |
| [18:05] | Why do you even…? | 你为什么要… |
| [18:08] | Is Edgar getting in your head? | 是埃德加的话影响到你了吗 |
| [18:09] | Is that what this is about? | 是因为这样吗 |
| [18:11] | No. What-what? No. | 不 什…什么 才不是 |
| [18:12] | If what Edgar said didn’t affect you, | 要是埃德加的话没有影响到你 |
| [18:14] | then why didn’t you tell me about it? | 那你为什么不告诉我这事 |
| [18:16] | Admit it, you normally wouldn’t give two shits | 你就承认吧 通常情况下 我就算没写誓词 |
| [18:19] | if I didn’t write my own vows. | 你也根本不会在意的 |
| [18:21] | You’re looking for an excuse. | 你这就是在找借口 |
| [18:22] | No, Gretchen. | 不 格雷琴 |
| [18:23] | I’ve been so busy justifying your lack of participation | 我一直忙着为你的消极参与开脱 |
| [18:28] | that I’ve ignored what you’ve been trying to tell me: | 却忽略了你一直试图告诉我的信息 |
| [18:32] | – you don’t want to get married. – I’m not well! | -那就是你其实不想结婚 -我病了 |
| [18:34] | No! You can’t use that as an excuse here. | 不 这会儿你休想用疾病来做借口 |
| [18:38] | – Your mom was right. – Do not bring up my mom! | -你妈妈说得对 -别提我妈 |
| [18:40] | There’s a part of you that will resent me forever | 如果我娶了你 有一部分的你 |
| [18:43] | if I marry you. You hate constraints, | 会永远憎恨我 你憎恶束缚 |
| [18:46] | and that is what I will forever be. | 而我永远都会是你的束缚 |
| [18:47] | – This is insane! – Do you want to marry me? | -简直是疯了 -你想嫁给我吗 |
| [18:50] | – I am here, aren’t I? – You’re still not saying it. | -我人都在这儿了 不是吗 -你没有正面回答 |
| [18:53] | I’m in a dress! My mom is here. | 我穿着婚纱 我妈也来了 |
| [18:55] | Say “I want to marry you.” | 说”我想嫁给你” |
| [18:57] | Stop bullying me! | 别强逼我了 |
| [19:00] | Fine! | 好吧 |
| [19:02] | I want to marry you! | 我想嫁给你 |
| [19:05] | I do. I want to marry you. | 我愿意 我想嫁给你 |
| [19:09] | Goddamn it, Gretchen. | 该死的 格雷琴 |
| [19:16] | I-I don’t think that I want to marry you. | 我…我不想娶你了 |
| [19:36] | – You okay? – It’s an ambush. | -你还好吗 -这是个埋伏 |
| [19:38] | I’ve been ambushed. Gretchen… | 我被伏击了 格雷琴… |
| [19:40] | I know. I should have told you. | 我知道 我早就应该告诉你的 |
| [19:42] | You knew? What, you knew? | 你知道 什么 连你都知道吗 |
| [19:44] | I’m sorry, Jimmy, but I think it’s time you guys talked. | 对不起 吉米 但我想你们该好好谈谈了 |
| [20:00] | They didn’t tell you I’d be here. | 他们没告诉你我会来吧 |
| [20:02] | Nope. | 没 |
| [20:03] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [20:06] | Listen, I don’t… | 听我说 我并不… |
| [20:06] | How’s New York? | 纽约怎么样 |
| [20:08] | Good. Loud. | 很好 很吵 |
| [20:11] | Lots of triggers, but I’m adapting. | 很多压力触发点 但我慢慢在适应 |
| [20:15] | I’m sorry for what I did back then. | 我为自己当年的所为道歉 |
| [20:20] | – I’m sorry. – You should be. | -对不起 -你确实应该道歉 |
| [20:22] | It was inconceivably abhorrent. | 那实在是太可恶了 |
| [20:26] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [20:29] | But you were proved right. | 但事实证明你是正确的 |
| [20:33] | It took me a while to admit it, | 我用了很久才能承认这一点 |
| [20:34] | but it was, ultimately, a rather brave and… selfless act. | 但那是十分勇敢 而且…无私的行为 |
| [20:42] | It wasn’t selfless. | 那不是无私 |
| [20:46] | It was the only way I could get away from you. | 那是我能离开你的唯一方式 |
| [20:51] | S-So, how are you? | 那…你过得如何 |
| [20:54] | Good. | 不错 |
| [20:54] | Oh, really good. I’m adapting a murder podcast. | 很不错 我正在改编一个关于凶杀案的播客 |
| [20:57] | Yeah, it’s… | 没错 它… |
| [20:59] | taken years to work out the rights, | 花了几年时间才拿下版权 |
| [21:01] | but I’m interviewing some writers while I’m in town. | 但我这次回来会面试一些编剧 |
| [21:05] | Well, I would throw my hat in the ring, | 我也想参与竞争 去给你当编剧 |
| [21:06] | but I’m busy writing Depth. | 但现在正忙于创作《深度》 |
| [21:08] | Yes! You know, I read Height. So good. | 太好了 《高度》我读过了 写得真好 |
| [21:11] | Man, those Victorians were messed up. | 天 那些维多利亚时代的人有点变态啊 |
| [21:14] | So much spanking. | 太爱打屁股了 |
| [21:16] | Ah, you don’t know the half of it. | 你简直无法想象 |
| [21:19] | You don’t talk to me. | 你 别跟我说话 |
| [21:21] | Come on. It’s been long enough. | 别啊 都过去这么久了 |
| [21:26] | Besides, haven’t you learned by now that I’m always right? | 再说了 你现在还没明白我永远是对的吗 |
| [21:38] | Leave Uncle Edgar alone, baby. | 别烦埃德加叔叔 亲爱的 |
| [21:40] | You already caught him. | 你已经抓到他了 |
| [21:41] | – Pick me up, Daddy. – Yes, Miss Bossypants. | -爸爸抱抱 -遵命 霸道小屁孩小姐 |
| [21:46] | You met behind my back? | 你们背着我见过面了吗 |
| [21:48] | Earlier today. | 今天早些时候 |
| [21:49] | I conned Edgar into playing tiger with Felicity. | 我骗埃德加陪菲莉希蒂[幸福]玩了抓老虎的游戏 |
| [21:52] | Come on, Wormy. | 来吧 小虫子 |
| [21:53] | Let’s go find the appetizers. | 我们去找开胃菜吧 |
| [21:58] | Is that…? | 那是… |
| [22:00] | Uh, the florist who essed Jimmy’s dee? Yes. | 给吉米舔屌的那个花商 没错 |
| [22:04] | And it got all possible sexual tension off the table forever, | 这让所有的性吸引力一去不复返 |
| [22:07] | thus the perfect nanny. | 因此她是完美的保姆人选 |
| [22:10] | No danger of Afflecking here. | 不用担心发生本·阿弗莱克那种情况[与保姆出轨] |
| [22:11] | There they are. | 他们在这里 |
| [22:12] | What the hell are you guys all doing out here? | 你们都在外面干什么 |
| [22:14] | You can’t miss our first dance. | 你们不能错过我们的第一支舞 |
| [22:16] | I mean, our second first dance. Paul took lessons. | 我是说我们的二度第一支舞 保罗专门去学了 |
| [22:20] | Yes. I’m all prepared to do the Lindsay Hop. | 是的 我已经完全准备好做琳赛小跳了 |
| [22:24] | Or perhaps I’ll save that particular move for tonight. | 或者我要把这个特别的动作留到今晚 |
| [22:29] | I don’t know what you’re saying. | 我不知道你在说什么 |
| [22:31] | We’ll be right there. I love you. | 我们马上过去 我爱你 |
| [22:37] | – Hey, wait up. – Ooh, we met Jimmy Fallon… | -等等 -我们见到了吉米·法伦 |
| [22:41] | You mad? | 你生气吗 |
| [22:43] | Only murderously. | 只是气到想杀人 |
| [22:45] | Though I suppose that dead little heart of yours was in the right place. | 不过我猜你那颗死去的心 是出于好意 |
| [22:49] | How’d it go with the house? | 房子的事怎么样了 |
| [22:50] | Well, it’s officially not ours anymore. | 它正式不再属于我们了 |
| [22:53] | Oh, I’m sorry, bud. | 真遗憾 老兄 |
| [22:55] | But you know it was a death trap for kids. | 但你知道那里对孩子而言是座危险建筑 |
| [22:58] | Yeah. How was your hotel? | 是啊 你的酒店怎么样 |
| [23:00] | Ugh, great. | 棒极了 |
| [23:03] | You were right. | 你说得没错 |
| [23:05] | I couldn’t get through a month without drinking. | 我不可能一个月不喝酒 |
| [23:07] | But I did get digits. | 但我收到了电话号码 |
| [23:10] | Cute, too. Mama’s still got it. | 是个帅哥 老娘魅力依旧 |
| [23:13] | Oh, we should probably go in. | 我们可能应该进去了 |
| [23:15] | Watch Paul and Lindsay make the same mistake twice. | 围观保罗和琳赛把同一个错误犯两次 |
| [23:20] | First I’m gonna shake all the presents. | 我先要去晃晃所有的礼物 |
| [23:22] | They ripped off our non-wedding venue, | 他们洗劫了我们当年的「非婚礼」现场 |
| [23:25] | they owe me a food processor. | 他们欠我一个食物料理机 |
| [23:32] | Forgot my lighter. I’ll be right in. | 忘拿打火机了 我马上进来 |
| [23:45] | I see Katie’s parents, but they won’t look at me. | 我看着凯蒂的父母 但他们却不看我 |
| [23:47] | The mood is tense. | 气氛相当凝重 |
| [23:49] | The judge enters. | 法官走了进来 |
| [23:50] | The jury enters, looking tired, ragged. | 陪审团走了进来 看起来精疲力竭 |
| [23:52] | The forewoman Mary Elizabeth stands. | 陪审团女团长玛丽·伊丽莎白站起身 |
| [23:53] | Damn it, Jimmy. | 该死的 吉米 |
| [23:54] | We, the jury, find the defendant… | 陪审团裁定被告… |
| [23:57] | Let me clear some space for you. | 我来为你腾点空间 |
| [24:02] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [24:04] | Jimmy, no! | 吉米 不 |
| [24:06] | No, Jimmy. | 不要 吉米 |
| [24:08] | It’s not gonna be that easy to leave me this time. | 这次再想抛下我可没那么容易 |
| [24:10] | You knew who I was. | 你知道我以前是什么样的人 |
| [24:11] | That’s all you have to say? That you’re damaged? | 你要说的就是这个吗 说你有心理创伤 |
| [24:13] | I’m getting straight into Edgar’s car. | 我要直接上埃德加的车 |
| [24:15] | He’s not here anymore, I… | 他不在这里了 我… |
| [24:16] | Motherfucker! | 王八蛋 |
| [24:20] | Look. | 听着 |
| [24:21] | I tried to write my vows. I did. | 我试过自己写誓词 真的 |
| [24:24] | Many times, I tried with all of this and I failed. | 我努力过许多次 都失败了 |
| [24:30] | Mine are just as phony. | 我的誓词也一样虚伪 |
| [24:32] | What? | 什么 |
| [24:34] | Writing them, | 写誓词时 |
| [24:35] | I couldn’t imagine myself up there saying these things, | 我无法想象自己在圣坛上当众对你说出这些话 |
| [24:37] | so… I wrote them as a character. | 所以 我把他作为一个角色来写的 |
| [24:41] | Named Theodore. | 一个叫希奥多的角色 |
| [24:43] | Writing to his future bride. | 写给他未来的新娘 |
| [24:45] | A character named Samantha. Sammy to friends. | 一个叫萨曼莎的人物 朋友都叫她萨米 |
| [24:48] | I had to pretend to be someone | 我必须假装成一个 |
| [24:50] | who wants to take care of someone in sickness and health. | 不论健康与疾病 都愿意照顾对方的人 |
| [24:53] | False concepts like “Forever”, | 加一些虚假的概念 比如”永远” |
| [24:55] | “Eternity”, “Until death”. | “一生” “至死不渝” |
| [24:58] | Who wants to lie in front of everyone they know | 谁想在自己认识的所有人面前撒谎 |
| [25:02] | that they’re gonna love someone forever? | 说自己会永远爱一个人 |
| [25:05] | How can you know that?! | 你怎么知道会爱到永远 |
| [25:08] | You can’t! | 不可能 |
| [25:11] | I feel like we’re not going back inside. | 我感觉我们不会再进屋了 |
| [25:14] | You’ve been saying all along that we might change. | 你一直在说我们有可能会改变 |
| [25:17] | Well, can you really promise that your feelings | 你真的能保证你的感情 |
| [25:19] | won’t change 40 years from now? | 从现在开始40年都不变吗 |
| [25:22] | 20 years from now? Five years from now? | 20年不变 5年不变 |
| [25:24] | This ceremony… is a fiction. | 这场婚礼 就是个假象 |
| [25:28] | It’s a false guarantee | 它是个虚假的保证 |
| [25:30] | that protects us from exactly nothing. | 什么保障也给不了我们 |
| [25:33] | It’s novocaine. | 它是麻醉药 |
| [25:34] | It’s an opiate. | 是鸦片剂 |
| [25:37] | It’s a lie. | 是个谎言 |
| [25:39] | You were right. | 你之前说得很对 |
| [25:45] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [25:48] | I know I was. | 我知道我说对了 |
| [25:54] | So, instead of making these giant, fake, | 所以 不要再许下这些巨大又虚假 |
| [25:57] | impossible-to-live-up-to pledges, | 不可能遵守的誓约 |
| [26:00] | what the fuck are we gonna do? | 我们现在到底要做什么 |
| [26:04] | What do you want, Jimmy? | 你想要什么 吉米 |
| [26:08] | Pancakes. | 薄煎饼 |
| [26:45] | Not guilty. | 裁定无罪 |
| [26:48] | What, seriously? No. | 什么 认真的吗 不 |
| [26:50] | Oh, my God, that is insane. | 天呐 那简直太疯狂了 |
| [26:59] | I can’t find them. | 我找不到他们 |
| [27:01] | You have to do something. | 你必须做点什么 |
| [27:08] | I couldn’t help but overhear. | 我不小心听到了 |
| [27:10] | Jimmy might have gotten cold feet? | 吉米可能是临阵退缩了吧 |
| [27:12] | I don’t know, maybe. | 我不知道 可能吧 |
| [27:14] | Well, the prospect of marriage | 婚姻的前景 |
| [27:17] | can be very daunting. | 的确可能令人畏惧 |
| [27:21] | Did you have dauntings about marrying me? | 你当年娶我的时候 感到畏惧了吗 |
| [27:24] | No way, Jose. | 不可能 |
| [27:25] | No dauntings. | 没有畏惧 |
| [27:28] | Me neither. I’m sorry. | 我也没有 抱歉 |
| [27:31] | Hello, everyone. | 大家好 |
| [27:33] | Hello. | 请注意 |
| [27:35] | Shut up! | 都给我闭嘴 |
| [27:37] | Best Man Vernon here. | 我是伴郎弗南 |
| [27:39] | I don’t want anyone to lose their shit, | 我希望大家不要惊慌失控 |
| [27:40] | but we can’t find the bride or groom. | 但新娘和新郎都不见了 |
| [27:43] | That really can only mean one thing. | 那只能意味着一件事 |
| [27:45] | Jimmy and Gretchen are likely dead | 吉米和格雷琴很可能已经死了 |
| [27:47] | or have been in a horrible accident, | 或者出了可怕的事故 |
| [27:48] | so starting to picture a life without them | 所以现在开始构想没有他们的生活 |
| [27:50] | is probably a smart move at this point! | 可能是个明智之举 |
| [27:54] | Hi. | 大家好 |
| [27:56] | Sorry about that, everybody. | 很抱歉 各位 |
| [27:58] | Vernon is not good in stressful situations. | 弗南一遇到压力大的情况就不知如何应对 |
| [28:02] | I’m so not! | 我完全不会应对 |
| [28:03] | Everything is fine. | 一切都很好 |
| [28:06] | The best thing to do…at a moment like this… | 在这样的时刻 最好的选择 |
| [28:12] | …is to listen to a song I wrote. | 就是听一首我写的歌 |
| [28:15] | For the bride. | 为新娘而写的 |
| [28:21] | ♪There’s Gregory at South By♪ | ♪南区的格雷戈里♪ |
| [28:23] | ♪Justin with the abs♪ | ♪腹肌迷人的贾斯汀♪ |
| [28:25] | ♪Peter and Ruben from Foot Locker♪ | ♪鞋店的皮特和罗本♪ |
| [28:29] | ♪There’s Eugene from the deaf school♪ | ♪聋哑学校的尤金♪ |
| [28:31] | ♪And Dylan, who sold coke♪ | ♪毒品贩子迪伦♪ |
| [28:33] | ♪And don’t forget that singer from Spin Doctors♪ | ♪别忘了「说谎专家乐队」的那个歌手♪ |
| [28:37] | ♪Bryce, who was weirdly loud♪ | ♪说话古怪大声的布莱斯♪ |
| [28:39] | ♪Mike, who was well-endowed♪ | ♪鸡巴巨大的麦克♪ |
| [28:42] | ♪If far longer than thick♪ | ♪就算要长得多♪ |
| [28:45] | ♪Quite possibly piled up couldn’t beat♪ | ♪可能加在一起也无法匹敌♪ |
| [28:50] | ♪The very last dick.♪ | ♪最后选择的这根屌♪ |
| [29:11] | – So we’re not getting married. – No. | -所以我们不结婚了 -是的 |
| [29:14] | – But we’re not breaking up. – No. | -但我们也不分手 -是的 |
| [29:17] | So what are we going to do? | 那我们要怎么办 |
| [29:21] | Every day… we choose. | 每一天 都选择一次 |
| [29:24] | Huh? | 什么 |
| [29:29] | I don’t want to be with you | 我不希望我跟你在一起 |
| [29:30] | because I made a promise to be with you. | 是因为我承诺了要跟你在一起 |
| [29:32] | I want to be with you because I want to be with you. | 我希望我跟你在一起 是因为我想跟你在一起 |
| [29:35] | So every day… we wake up, | 所以每一天 当我们醒来 |
| [29:39] | we look at each other and say, | 我们看着彼此 然后说 |
| [29:40] | “Today, again… I choose you.” | “今天 我再次选择你” |
| [29:46] | Until maybe one day we don’t. | 直到或许有一天 我们不再选择彼此 |
| [29:49] | You know I love the idea of always having one foot out the door. | 你知道我喜欢总是有一只脚在门外 随时逃跑 |
| [29:53] | We don’t declare anything. | 我们不需要宣誓任何事 |
| [29:55] | Except this. | 除了这个 |
| [29:57] | Gretchen, every day I will make the choice to love you. | 格雷琴 每一天我都会选择爱你 |
| [30:03] | And love you I will. Wholeheartedly. That one day. | 在那一天 我一定会全心全意地爱你 |
| [30:11] | Because I choose to. | 因为那是我主动选择的 |
| [30:17] | I really like it. | 我超喜欢这主意 |
| [30:19] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [30:26] | I’m sorry you didn’t get your wedding. | 我很抱歉你没能得到你梦寐以求的婚礼 |
| [30:28] | We got photos of me looking fly as hell, | 我们已经有了我看上去酷毙的照片 |
| [30:30] | that’s really all that matters. | 那才是最重要的 |
| [30:33] | You know the one thing I do regret? | 你知道我唯一后悔的是什么吗 |
| [30:34] | All the money we wasted? | 浪费了那么多钱吗 |
| [30:36] | Leaving everyone in the lurch? | 抛下了所有人在那里空等吗 |
| [30:38] | Not getting the chance to see Paul wandering around, | 没机会看到保罗到处乱窜 |
| [30:41] | looking for his table all night? | 整晚都在找他的席位吗 |
| [30:43] | Leaving behind all those gifts. | 是丢下了那么多的结婚礼物 |
| [30:46] | I already texted Vernon to load up the car with them. | 我已经发短信给弗南 让他把礼物都装上车了 |
| [30:49] | God, I love you. | 天呐 我好爱你 |
| [34:06] | Hey, you know that there’s always a possibility | 嘿 你知道永远存在这么一种可能 |
| [34:10] | that some day I might leave my phone and keys at home | 就是某一天我会把手机和钥匙都丢在家里 |
| [34:12] | and step in front of a train. | 去撞火车自杀吧 |
| [34:14] | You know that, right? | 你明白这点 对吧 |
| [34:20] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [34:21] | But I’ll move on really quickly. | 但我会快速忘了你 翻开新的人生 |
| [34:23] | Like, record-setting. | 破纪录的那种快 |
| [34:27] | Okay. | 好咧 |