时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:16] | Do you notice how | 有没有注意到 |
[00:17] | this James Brown is always getting somewhere? | 詹姆斯·布朗很能蹦跶[灵魂乐教父] |
[00:19] | He’s getting up, getting down, getting back. | 起来 下去 退后 |
[00:23] | We should contact him– I mean, | 我们应该接触下他 |
[00:24] | as part of our mission to study life on this planet. | 咱们的任务不就是研究这星球上的生命嘛 |
[00:26] | Yes, but according to this, he’s more of a machine, | 没错 但据这歌来看 他更像是机器 |
[00:29] | a sex machine. | 性爱机器 |
[00:31] | Oh, look! It’s the campus police. | 快看 校警来了 |
[00:35] | – Is there some kind of problem? – Ooh, actually, yes. | -有问题吗 -还真有问题 |
[00:38] | There’s a star missing right there. | 那儿有颗星星不见了 |
[00:41] | And we think we know who did it. | 我们知道是谁干的 |
[00:44] | – This is your family? – Why, yes. | -这是您的家人吗 -当然了 |
[00:47] | That’s exactly what we were going for. | 我们正是这样安排的 |
[00:49] | Sally’s the woman. I’m the tall, dashing man. | 莎莉是女人 我是高大帅气的男人 |
[00:51] | Tommy is the adolescent. | 汤米是少年人 |
[00:52] | And Harry is… the funny-looking one. | 哈里 是长相搞笑的人 |
[00:55] | I’m gonna have to see your driver’s license, please. | 请出示您的驾照 |
[00:57] | Why? We’re not driving. We’re parked. | 为什么 我们没有驾驶 车是停着的 |
[01:00] | Yeah, but you’re parked on university property. | 可你们停的地方归大学所有 |
[01:02] | I am university property. | 我也归大学所有 |
[01:05] | Here’s my photo I.D. | 这是我的证件 |
[01:07] | It’s just my head, but I assure you | 上面只有大头照 但我向你保证 |
[01:09] | the rest of me is anatomically correct. | 男人该有的东西 我的身体都有 |
[01:12] | Well, Dr. Solomon, it’s 2:00 A.M. | 所罗门教授 现在是凌晨两点 |
[01:14] | – So, let’s pack this up and move it out. – Right away. | -您还是把车开走吧 -这就走 |
[01:16] | Dick, what’s a driver’s license? | 迪克 驾照是什么 |
[01:19] | It must be some kind of human validation. | 应该是做人的一种许可证 |
[01:21] | – We should get one if we’re going to blend in. – I’m on it. | -如果我们要融入人类就得弄一个 -我会搞定的 |
[01:27] | Listen. It’s that guy again. | 听 又是这个人 |
[01:29] | God, it’s amazing. | 天哪 太神奇了 |
[01:32] | How does he sing like that? | 他怎么可以唱成这样 |
[01:34] | Dick, remember how I said I wanted to learn to sing? | 迪克 还记得我说过要学唱歌吗 |
[01:39] | I’ve changed my mind. | 我改主意了 |
[02:31] | Where are you? | 你跑哪儿去了 |
[02:34] | Very well, I can wait. | 很好 我可以等 |
[02:37] | You’re not watching me. I’m not watching you. | 你没有看我 我也没有看你 |
[02:40] | You’re somewhere in the room, I can feel it. | 你就在这房间的某个地方 我可以感觉到 |
[02:43] | Good morning, Dr. Solomon. | 早上好 所罗门教授 |
[02:48] | – What is it, Nina? – Here’s the mail. | -什么事 尼娜 -邮件到了 |
[02:51] | Oh, it’s a letter for Dr. Albright. | 欧布莱特教授的信 |
[02:54] | She’ll hold this in her delicate hand, | 她那柔若无骨的小手会拿着信 |
[02:56] | insert a finger and rip through the mucilage. | 纤纤玉指把信封撕开 |
[02:59] | She’s just wonderful. | 她太完美了 |
[03:01] | I knew you had a thing for her. | 我知道您喜欢她[thing有penis的意思] |
[03:03] | Yes, but I understand | 对 但我明白 |
[03:05] | I’m not allowed to show it to her without her permission. | 没有她的允许 我不能把这个拿出来给她看 |
[03:09] | Good morning, Dr. Albright. | 早上好 欧布莱特教授 |
[03:11] | – Good morning, Dr. Albright. – Good morning. | -早上好 欧布莱特教授 -早上好 |
[03:13] | – Dr. Solomon, I was just thinking of you. – You were? | -所罗门教授 我刚才正想到你呢 -是吗 |
[03:16] | Yes. I have a meeting with the rules committee on Friday night, | 是的 周五晚上有个规章委员会的会议 |
[03:19] | and I just can’t make it. | 可我去不了 |
[03:21] | It’s too late to try and get out of it now, | 现在才来想辙太迟了点吧 |
[03:23] | unless you can talk some idiot into replac– | 白痴才会替你去… |
[03:29] | You look wonderful. | 你今天真帅啊 |
[03:31] | – Is that a new jacket? – I’m entirely new. | -新西装吗 -我从里到外都是新的 |
[03:34] | Everyone on the rules committee wants to meet you. | 规章委员会的人都想认识你 |
[03:36] | – Really? – We all think of you as the resident genius. | -是吗 -大家都觉得你是天才 |
[03:40] | Please, I need you to substitute for me. | 拜托了 我需要你替我去 |
[03:42] | You need me? I never dreamed | 你需要我? 我从未奢望过 |
[03:44] | that I would be the man you needed. | 我会是你需要的男人 |
[03:47] | I need you desperately. | 无可救药地需要你 |
[03:50] | Let me know if it’s going to get any deeper. | 准备干啥的话提前知会声儿 |
[03:53] | I’m wearing open-toed shoes. | 我今儿穿凉拖跑不快 |
[03:56] | – I’m not prepared. – It’s a dull, mindless group. | -可我没准备呀 -就是个无聊兼无脑的组织 |
[03:59] | It’s “The night of the teaching dead.” | 例行敷衍之夜 |
[04:01] | Maybe I can shake things up with some fresh ideas. | 也许我的独创性可以使之焕然一新 |
[04:04] | No one there would recognize | 你的独创性大到顶心顶肺 |
[04:06] | a fresh idea if it bit them on the ass. | 那些榆木疙瘩也不会注意到 |
[04:08] | Just pass these out for me, please. | 帮我把这个拿去就好了 拜托了 |
[04:10] | All right, I’ll do it. | 好的 没问题 |
[04:12] | Thanks. You’ve saved me. | 谢谢 你是我的大恩人 |
[04:14] | Well, I am a manly man. | 英雄救美是应该的 |
[04:20] | – Well done. – Another five minutes, | -厉害啊 -再聊五分钟 |
[04:22] | and he would have given me a kidney. | 叫他捐肾都没问题 |
[04:31] | Next! | 下一位 |
[04:34] | I can’t believe how much we have to go through to get a license. | 真不敢相信弄个驾照这么麻烦 |
[04:37] | Yeah. Then why are we here? | 没错 那咱们为啥来这儿 |
[04:39] | Because I want one. If I have to be the woman, | 因为我需要驾照 如果我必须做女人 |
[04:41] | I’m not about to be stuck at home. | 也不能做困在家里的女人 |
[04:45] | “Stay behind orange line.” | 站在橙色线后 |
[04:47] | That’s why nobody ever gets to the window. | 难怪没人能去窗口 |
[04:50] | Hey, let’s pull up the slack here. | 各位 队伍跟紧点儿 |
[04:53] | Oh! There must be | 哦 那儿一定有 |
[04:55] | some sort of flesh-melting force field | 熔化身体的力场 |
[04:58] | at the orange line. | 就在橙色线前面 |
[05:00] | – Next! – No-Ooo! | -下一位 -别去 |
[05:06] | I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
[05:08] | You know, cars must have some huge power | 车肯定还有巨大的力量 |
[05:11] | we haven’t discovered yet. | 只是我们没发现而已 |
[05:12] | Look at this– the lines, the waiting, the testing. | 看看这场面 排队 等候 考试 |
[05:14] | Can you imagine what you must have to go through to get a gun? | 你能想象弄把枪该麻烦成什么样儿吗 |
[05:21] | Next! | 下一位 |
[05:24] | What is it they don’t get? That woman says “Next.” | 这么简单还不明白 那女人说”下一位” |
[05:27] | The first person goes to the window. | 排第一的人走到窗口 |
[05:29] | The second person moves to the orange line, becoming first. | 排第二的人走到橙色线 变成排第一的 |
[05:31] | The third person becomes second, | 排第三的变成排第二的 |
[05:33] | and the rest of us pull up the slack! | 剩下的人跟紧点儿 |
[05:37] | There are just too many gaps in this line. | 这个队伍有太多裂口了 |
[05:38] | We should each only be a single person-thickness apart. | 我们应该一人排一队 |
[05:40] | Good point. | 有道理 |
[05:43] | I think everyone should hear it. | 我觉得大家都该听听 |
[05:45] | You think so? | 真的吗 |
[05:47] | Okay, people, listen up and nobody gets hurt! | 好的 各位 听清楚了 没人会受伤 |
[05:58] | Tommy, have you been sitting in that same chair all day? | 汤米 你一整天都坐在这儿吗 |
[06:02] | Hmm, let me think about this one. | 让我好好想想 |
[06:04] | Yeah. | 没错 |
[06:06] | You’re supposed to be experiencing human adolescent behavior. | 你应该去体验人类少年时期的生活 |
[06:09] | Well, as an adolescent, everything annoys me, | 作为一名少年 所有的事都让我心烦 |
[06:13] | especially the sound of your voice right now. | 特别是现在 你的声音让我非常烦 |
[06:15] | – Nothing. – Yes, you did. | -我没做什么 -就是你 |
[06:17] | – I did not. – Don’t try to blame it on me. | -不是我 -别想把责任推给我 |
[06:19] | – Did you get your license? – We were thrown out. | -拿到驾照了吗 -我们被赶出来了 |
[06:21] | On the bright side, | 好消息是 |
[06:22] | we did outrun the police. | 我们跑得比警察快 |
[06:24] | What went wrong? | 哪里出问题了 |
[06:25] | Everything. What do people | 全都有问题 地球上的人 |
[06:27] | have to do on this planet to get what they want? | 到底要怎么做才能得到自己想要的 |
[06:29] | Today Dr. Albright wanted something from me. | 今天欧布莱特教授就要我帮忙 |
[06:31] | All she did was ask. | 她唯一做的就是请求 |
[06:32] | – What did she say? – She said she needed my help | -她怎么说的 -她说需要我的帮助 |
[06:35] | and I looked wonderful and I’m a genius. | 我看上去很帅 我是天才 |
[06:37] | – She said that? – About you? | -这是她说的? -说的是你? |
[06:40] | – Yes. – And you bought it? | -没错 -你相信了 |
[06:42] | – Well, I am the high commander. – Wait a minute. | -我是总指挥官 为何不信 -等等 |
[06:45] | Something about this doesn’t wash. | 这有点说不通 |
[06:48] | She’s doing something. | 她在耍什么手段 |
[06:50] | Now I remember, I read about this. | 想起来了 我看过的 |
[06:52] | She’s distorting the truth. | 她在歪曲事实 |
[06:56] | Dr. Albright would never lie to me. | 欧布莱特教授才不会骗我呢 |
[06:58] | Wake up and snort the coffee. | 醒醒吧你 提提神 |
[07:02] | Just because you don’t lie doesn’t mean people here don’t. | 你不撒谎 并不代表其他人也不撒谎 |
[07:05] | We’re colleagues. I trust her. | 我们是同事 我信任她 |
[07:07] | I command you to be more like her. | 我命令你变得更像她 |
[07:09] | – Like what? – Like a woman. | -像什么 -像女人 |
[07:11] | – Fine. I can woman. – Good. | -好的 我可以更女人 -很好 |
[07:15] | – Commander, permission to speak freely? – Granted. | -总指挥官 请求自由发言 -批准 |
[07:17] | As the oldest member of this crew, | 作为本团队最老的一员 |
[07:19] | I feel it’s my duty to inform you all | 我有责任告诉你们 |
[07:21] | that this planet both wipes and sucks, | 这个星球既讨厌又差劲 |
[07:24] | in that order. | 就是这样 |
[07:26] | What is your problem? | 你到底有什么毛病 |
[07:28] | Something’s wrong. My transfer’s not holding. | 出了点问题 我依然在变形中 |
[07:31] | I’m growing hair, and my armpits smell, | 体毛在生长 腋窝臭死人 |
[07:34] | and there’s a constant circus in my pants. | 裤子总是在支帐篷 |
[07:38] | Our old man is becoming a boy. | 咱们的老人家变成大男孩了 |
[07:41] | No, I’m serious. The seal’s broken, | 我说正经的 密封性也被破坏了 |
[07:43] | and I’m losing oil. Look at this. | 我在漏油 看这个 |
[07:45] | Ooh! What is it? | 这是什么 |
[07:47] | It’s a nipple. | 是乳头 |
[07:50] | – What am I going to do about it? – I don’t know, | -我该拿这个怎么办 -不知道 |
[07:52] | but until we figure it out, | 我们弄清楚前 |
[07:54] | maybe you should sleep in the shower. | 你最好去睡洗手间 |
[08:02] | Gentlemen, we have a guest member | 先生们 今晚有位特邀成员 |
[08:04] | of the rules committee with us tonight. | 参加我们规章委员会的会议 |
[08:06] | Dr. Solomon, would you care to share with us | 所罗门教授 请代欧布莱特教授 |
[08:09] | – some of Dr. Albright’s feelings? – Oh, yes, of course. | -发表她的感言 -好的 |
[08:12] | Well, first, on behalf of Dr. Albright, | 首先 我谨代表欧布莱特教授 |
[08:15] | I would like to say welcome to this big waste of time. | 欢迎大家参加这一浪费时间的会议 |
[08:18] | I’d say I’ve always wanted to put a face | 我一直希望能在你们面前装装样子 |
[08:21] | with those men whom she affectionately calls | 欧布莱特教授亲切地称呼此会议为 |
[08:24] | “The night of the teaching dead.” | 例行敷衍之夜 |
[08:26] | And may I say you do not disappoint. | 依我看来你们的确不负所望 |
[08:28] | I can tell at a glance | 瞟一眼就知道 |
[08:30] | that you indeed are a mindless and dull group. | 你们的的确确是无聊兼无脑的组织 |
[08:32] | So, I would like to start with a fresh idea | 那么 就从我的独创性见解开始 可惜你们 |
[08:35] | that you won’t recognize when it bites you on the ass. | 这些榆木疙瘩根本不懂这有多顶心顶肺 |
[08:37] | Excuse me, does Dr. Albright know you’re speaking on her behalf? | 不好意思 欧布莱特教授知道你代她发言吗 |
[08:41] | Don’t move! Stay where you are! | 别动 保持这个姿势 |
[08:45] | – Dr. Solomon– – Freeze! He’s still there! | -所罗门教授 -不许动 它还在那儿 |
[08:51] | Oh! You have a mole. | 哦 原来是痣啊 |
[08:55] | A big, ugly mole. | 又大又丑的痣 |
[09:00] | Well, you’re in early. | 你来得这么早 |
[09:02] | Dr. Byron told me about your little speech. | 拜伦教授跟我说了你那感人的发言 |
[09:04] | Sorry I missed it. | 真抱歉我错过了 |
[09:06] | Rest assured, I gave you full credit. | 放心吧 绝对是以你的名义发的言 |
[09:11] | What the hell are you trying to do? Ruin me? | 你到底哪根筋不对 想毁了我的名声吗 |
[09:17] | It will take me weeks to repair the damage left in your wake. | 我得花上好几周才能收拾你撂下的烂摊子 |
[09:23] | Weeks. | 好几周 |
[09:24] | All you had to do was show up and feign interest. | 你只要出现并且假装很有兴趣就行了 |
[09:27] | Feign? I will not be a party to feigning. | 假装 我才不会假装呢 |
[09:29] | I always tell the complete truth. | 我只会说百分百的大实话 |
[09:31] | The truth? | 实话 |
[09:32] | Then I will be brutally frank. | 那我就跟你说残忍的实话[也可作人名弗兰克] |
[09:35] | Good, I’ll be genuine Dick. | 好的 那我就是真诚的迪克 |
[09:40] | I thought, foolishly, | 是我傻 我居然想着 |
[09:42] | this would be a good opportunity | 这是一个好机会 |
[09:44] | for my colleagues to get to know you. | 我的同事可以了解你 |
[09:46] | No one wanted to meet you. I made that up. | 根本就没人想认识你 我瞎编的 |
[09:50] | So you lied? | 你骗我 |
[09:51] | I was bending the truth to flatter you. There’s a difference. | 我歪曲事实是为了哄你高兴 这和骗是有区别的 |
[09:55] | I see. So when we met, you said you were pleased to meet me. | 懂了 我们初次见面时 你说很高兴认识我 |
[09:58] | – Was that a lie or truth-bending? – Figure of speech. | -那是谎话还是歪曲事实 -礼貌用语 |
[10:01] | When you said you were impressed with my resume? | 你说我的简历令你钦佩不已 |
[10:04] | Light conversation. | 客套话 |
[10:05] | When I moved in, you said you didn’t mind sharing your office? | 我搬进来时 你说不介意和我共用办公室 |
[10:07] | Diplomacy. Anything else? | 交际辞令 还有吗 |
[10:09] | – Yes, is that really the color of your hair? – Absolutely! | -还有 你头发真是这颜色吗 -当然是真的 |
[10:16] | You’re upset, aren’t you? | 你生气了 是吗 |
[10:19] | – Tell the truth. – Yes. | -说实话 -没错 |
[10:21] | I thought I could trust you. I can’t. | 原以为我可以信任你 看来我错了 |
[10:23] | Trust me? You’re the one who lied and tricked me. | 信任我 你才是骗我耍我的人 |
[10:26] | No. It’s not how you lie to trick someone. | 不 这种谎话不是为了耍人 |
[10:29] | First, you start by– you have something on your tie. | 首先 你得… 你的领带上有东西 |
[10:35] | Ah-ha, very clever. | 哈哈 很聪明 |
[10:38] | Yes, I see how that works. You have something on your shoulder. | 我明白是怎么回事了 你肩膀上有东西 |
[10:48] | That’s not how it works. This is how it works. | 根本不是这么回事 这样才对 |
[10:52] | Your shirttail’s on fire. That’s how. | 你衬衫下摆着火了 这样才对 |
[10:54] | Your blouse is on fire. | 你的衬衫着火了 |
[10:56] | Stop– get your hands off– | 住手 把手拿开 |
[10:59] | Don’t move! | 别动 |
[11:11] | That was my fly. | 这是我的苍蝇 |
[11:13] | I know. | 我知道 |
[11:21] | On the subject of universal truth, | 关于普遍真理 |
[11:23] | Albert Einstein once said– | 阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦曾说过 |
[11:31] | any thoughts on that? | 有什么想法 |
[11:34] | Anyone? Yes, Caryn. | 有人发言吗 凯伦 |
[11:37] | Dr. Solomon, I think you were speaking German. | 所罗门教授 您说的是德语 |
[11:40] | Yes, German. Einstein spoke German. | 对 德语 爱因斯坦说的是德语 |
[11:45] | Okay, I’ll simplify. | 好的 简单点说 |
[11:49] | “Scientific proof is nothing more than conditional truth.” | 科学依据无非是有条件的真实 |
[11:52] | We all understand what truth is, don’t we? | 大家应该都明白这个真实吧 |
[11:56] | Now, I have three of Einstein’s equations on the board. | 黑板上有三个爱因斯坦的方程式 |
[11:59] | Two of them are false, and one is true. | 两个是假的 一个是真的 |
[12:01] | Who can spot the true one? Anyone? | 谁知道哪个是真的 有人知道吗 |
[12:05] | How many of you think it’s number one? | 哪些人认为第一个是真的 |
[12:08] | I’ll give you a hint: it’s not number one. | 给个提示 不是第一个 |
[12:11] | Here’s another hint: it’s not number two. | 再来个提示 也不是第二个 |
[12:13] | How many of you think it’s number three? | 哪些人认为第三个是真的 |
[12:15] | Well, you’re wrong. I lied. I made them all up! | 你们都错了 我骗你们的 这是我瞎编的 |
[12:19] | You see, lying accomplishes nothing. | 看到没 说谎什么好处都没有 |
[12:22] | You can’t trust someone who lies. | 不能相信说谎的人 |
[12:24] | You work with them. You think you know them. | 大家是同事 你以为了解了人家 |
[12:26] | They ask you to substitute. | 人家求你去代开会 |
[12:27] | You make a fool of yourself. They get mad. | 你自己出洋相不说 人家还生气了 |
[12:29] | And your sister can’t even get a driver’s license. | 更过分的是 你妹妹连驾照都弄不到 |
[12:33] | Dr. Solomon, is this going to be on the final? | 所罗门教授 这些期末考试会考吗 |
[12:36] | The point I’m making is, | 我要阐明的是 |
[12:38] | you have to tell the absolute truth, | 你们必须要讲百分百的实话 |
[12:41] | or else you just end up confusing people. | 否则的话 只会让他人困惑 |
[12:43] | But, Dr. Solomon, sometimes you just can’t tell the truth. | 所罗门教授 可是有时候就是不能讲实话 |
[12:46] | But why not? Anyone? | 为什么呢 谁来回答 |
[12:49] | Leon, I’m going to ask you a question, | 里昂 我要问你个问题 |
[12:51] | and I want you to tell me the complete truth. | 你要完全诚实地回答我 |
[12:54] | This won’t affect my grade? | 不会影响我的成绩吗 |
[12:57] | Absolutely not. What do you think of me? | 当然不会 你觉得我这个人如何 |
[13:01] | You make me really nervous. | 您让我非常的紧张 |
[13:04] | I don’t know what’s going on half the time, | 我也不知道为什么总这样 |
[13:06] | and when you walk around the room, I’m always afraid | 当您在教室里转悠时 我总是怕 |
[13:08] | you’re going to hit me in the back of the head. | 您会打我的后脑勺 |
[13:14] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[13:16] | There, you see… | 就这样 看到没 |
[13:17] | the truth. | 实话 |
[13:20] | By the way, Leon, you’re failing. | 顺便说下 里昂 你挂科了 |
[13:23] | I thought you said it wouldn’t affect my grade. | 您不是说了这不影响我的成绩吗 |
[13:25] | It didn’t. | 是没影响啊 |
[13:32] | Anybody home? Anyb– Oh, hi. | 有人在家吗 有人在… |
[13:35] | I brought you folks your extra key. | 这是备用钥匙 |
[13:37] | Yeah, right. Good excuse. | 是啊 真会找借口 |
[13:39] | You just wanted to come up here and stare at pimple boy. | 你只是想上来看看我的青春痘吧 |
[13:43] | You poor kid. I remember how it feels to be your age. | 可怜的孩子 我还记得你这年纪时是啥感觉 |
[13:46] | I remember how it feels to be your age. | 我也记得你这年纪时是啥感觉 |
[13:51] | I’m going to go out and get some smokes. | 我正准备出门买烟 |
[13:53] | You want to take a ride? | 你想一起去转转吗 |
[13:55] | Yeah, whatever. | 随便啦 |
[13:57] | It’s really not fair. I can grow a pimple but not a mustache. | 真是不公平 我不长胡子只长痘 |
[14:00] | What’s your secret? | 你有啥长胡子的秘诀 |
[14:10] | – Solomon, Sally. – Here. | -莎莉·所罗门 -来了 |
[14:13] | You failed the written exam. Come back in three weeks. | 你的笔试没通过 三周后再来吧 |
[14:16] | I can’t come back. I can’t. | 我不能再来 不能 |
[14:18] | – Sorry, those are the rules. – I need a license now. | -抱歉 这是规定 -我现在就需要驾照 |
[14:21] | I’m the woman. | 我是女人 |
[14:29] | I really need your help. | 我真的需要你的帮助 |
[14:33] | You must be a genius. | 你肯定是位天才 |
[14:38] | Your line is so big, | 你这边的队伍好长 |
[14:40] | but it moves so fast. | 却前进的好快 |
[14:45] | Well, I do my best. | 我尽力而为 |
[14:47] | There’s got to be some way you can help me. | 你一定有办法帮我 |
[14:50] | I mean, I know you have a heart | 我知道 在你那宽广多毛 |
[14:52] | in that big, hairy, wonderful chest of yours. | 帅气的胸膛里 有一颗善良的心 |
[14:55] | I bet pretty girls beg you all the time, huh? | 美女们肯定总是求你帮忙吧 |
[14:59] | Okay, you can take the test again. | 好的 你可以再考一次 |
[15:03] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[15:05] | I could get very good at this. | 看来玩这套我很拿手 |
[15:13] | Hey, what did you put under “Weight”? | 体重这栏你是怎么填的 |
[15:23] | Tommy, are you all right? Where have you been? | 汤米 你还好吗 去哪里了 |
[15:26] | The mall, Dick. I was at the mall. | 去商场了 迪克 我去商场了 |
[15:28] | It may be the most emotionally satisfying place I’ve ever been. | 这是我去过的 情感上最能获得满足的地方 |
[15:33] | Were you able to observe other life-forms? | 在那儿可以观察其他生命体吗 |
[15:35] | Definitely. Everybody there | 那是当然了 在那儿的每个人 |
[15:37] | was as oily and disgusting as me. | 都跟我一样油不拉叽一样恶心 |
[15:40] | It was a food court of mutants, | 那里犹如变异人的美食广场 |
[15:42] | a catalog of horrors, a freak show, | 讨厌鬼的商品目录 怪胎秀 |
[15:45] | and I was their lizard king. | 而我 就是他们的蜥蜴王[动漫蜘蛛侠里的反派] |
[15:48] | Oh. What do you do when you’re there? | 你在那里做什么 |
[15:52] | Hang. | 混 |
[15:54] | What do you see? | 你看到了什么 |
[15:55] | Stuff. | 东西 |
[15:57] | I belong now. | 我终于融入了 |
[15:59] | Oh, yeah, stay out of my room! | 不准进我的房间 |
[16:06] | Dick? Dick, look, | 迪克 快看 |
[16:08] | I got my driver’s license. | 我拿到驾照了 |
[16:10] | According to this, you’re a 55-year-old, | 这上面显示 你是一位55岁 |
[16:12] | 300-pound Asian woman. | 体重300磅的亚洲女性 |
[16:17] | And an organ donor. | 还是一位器官捐赠者 |
[16:20] | Dick, I got my driver’s permit, too. | 迪克 我也拿到驾照了 |
[16:23] | Yes, I expected you would. | 好的 我就知道你能拿到 |
[16:27] | I just want to say that I not only accomplished my goal, | 我想说 不仅拿驾照的目的达到了 |
[16:30] | but… I’ve discovered | 我还发现了 |
[16:32] | a softer place within myself, | 自己温柔的一面 |
[16:35] | and it is all because of you | 这都归功于您 |
[16:36] | and your extraordinary ability to command. | 还有您那卓越的指挥能力 |
[16:38] | – Thank you, lieutenant. – You have so many facets to admire, | -谢谢 副指挥官 -您值得钦佩的地方太多了 |
[16:41] | time prohibits my naming them all. | 在有限的时间里根本无法一一列举 |
[16:45] | Shall I speak of your courage, | 我能说说您的勇气吗 |
[16:48] | how you’ve led a ragtag crew of misfits across the galaxies, | 我们这群不称职的乌合之众在您的领导下穿越星系 |
[16:51] | fueled by your brave spirit? | 完全是归功于您的大无畏精神 |
[16:56] | Or shall I confess that your boyish good looks | 不介意我直说吧 您那孩子气的俊朗面容 |
[16:59] | are stunted only by your personal bigness? | 只有在您个人的伟大前才稍显逊色 |
[17:03] | Oh, where to begin | 到底先说哪点 |
[17:06] | simply exhausts my feminine mind. | 我那女性的思维顿时停摆 |
[17:10] | What are you doing? | 你在做什么 |
[17:12] | Lying. | 瞎掰 |
[17:14] | – You like it? – It’s incredible. | -你喜欢吗 -太不可思议了 |
[17:17] | – I love it! – Really? | -我爱死了 -是吗 |
[17:19] | – Yes! How did you do it? – Anybody can do it. | -是啊 你怎么做的 -人人都会 |
[17:21] | Look at me, I’ve just done it once, | 看看我 才不过一次而已 |
[17:23] | and here I am, whipping it out there. | 我已经是胡扯不用打草稿了 |
[17:26] | I thought the truth was potent, | 我以为真话的力量是强大的 |
[17:28] | but it’s nothing compared to this. | 可有什么比得上这个 |
[17:31] | This makes me feel powerless and susceptible, | 这些话让我觉得自己软弱无力 随搓任捏 |
[17:35] | and ready to yield to your every– | 你要我怎样我就怎样 |
[17:39] | I’ve got to find Dr. Albright. | 我得去找欧布莱特教授 |
[17:42] | This is Wednesday. She calls it “Over the hump day.” | 今天是周三 她称之为过了驼峰日 |
[17:45] | I don’t know what that means , but I know where she humps. | 我不懂是什么意思 但我知道她在哪儿找乐子 |
[17:49] | Tommy, we’re going out. | 汤米 我们要出门了 |
[17:50] | – I’ll drive. – No, I’ll drive. | -我来开车 -不 我来 |
[17:51] | – Dick… – Harry called it. | -迪克 -哈里先说的 |
[17:53] | – Shotgun. – I don’t want to ride in the back. | -我坐前排 -我不想坐后排 |
[17:59] | Dr. Albright, hello. | 欧布莱特教授 你好 |
[18:01] | Hello. Sorry we don’t have a chair for you. | 你好 抱歉这里没椅子坐了 |
[18:04] | Not a problem. | 没关系 |
[18:07] | – You know Dr. Byron. – Yes, of course. | -拜伦教授 你认识的 -当然了 |
[18:10] | You really should have that thing removed. | 你真该去把痣除掉 |
[18:12] | It’s all I can look at. | 太吸引眼球了 |
[18:13] | Excuse me. | 失陪了 |
[18:16] | Looks like there’s just the two of us. | 看来只剩下咱俩儿了 |
[18:18] | I’ll have a pitcher of that stuff. | 给我一壶那个 |
[18:20] | May I see your driver’s license? | 可以看下驾照吗[查看是否有21岁] |
[18:22] | You bet you can. | 随便看吧 |
[18:24] | Okay, Mrs. Wu. | 好的 吴女士 |
[18:29] | I discovered something today, and I really need to try it out. | 我今天发现了样新东西 我一定得尝试下 |
[18:32] | Thorazine. I’ll get you some water. | 抗精神病药吗 我去给你拿水 |
[18:37] | You see, you know these things. | 瞧 你明白的 |
[18:40] | You’re so smart, and your… | 你非常聪明 你… |
[18:43] | your looks– your looks are like… | 你长得就像是 |
[18:46] | a beer tap, | 啤酒桶阀门 |
[18:48] | a golden rush of drunken beauty with a nice head | 漂亮的脑袋上有美丽的金色急流 |
[18:51] | which spills all down your blouse, | 醉意溅满了你的上衣 |
[18:54] | leaving you sweet and pungent. | 使你既甜美又刺鼻 |
[19:00] | That was pathetic. | 你太可悲了 |
[19:02] | Well, I’m sorry I’m not as good a liar as you are. | 抱歉 我撒谎的本事比不上你 |
[19:05] | Well, I’m sorry. I’m leaving. | 抱歉的是我 我走了 |
[19:07] | Wait! You’re not finished with me yet! | 等等 咱俩儿还没完呢 |
[19:10] | Do you mind? We’re talking. | 不介意吧 我俩正谈着呢 |
[19:15] | Okay, you win. | 好吧 算你狠 |
[19:18] | – What is it? – I’ve realized something. | -到底想怎样 -我意识到一件事 |
[19:20] | I can’t lie to you. I wish I could. | 我没办法对你撒谎 我希望我可以 |
[19:22] | It’s just not something that I’m good at, like– like… | 只是这不是我的强项 不像我擅长… |
[19:25] | actually, I’m good at everything. | 我还真是什么都擅长 |
[19:28] | – Can I tell you the truth? – Why not? | -我可以说实话吗 -说吧 |
[19:30] | The real truth is, | 实话就是 |
[19:32] | you’re delightful. | 你赏心悦目 |
[19:34] | I love looking into your face. | 我喜欢看你的脸 |
[19:37] | I don’t know what it is about you this evening, | 今晚我不知道是什么原因令你… |
[19:40] | maybe it’s the way the light hits your eyes, | 也许是因为灯光照射着你的眼睛 |
[19:42] | maybe it’s the wine, | 也许是因为你喝了酒 |
[19:44] | but you look puffy– you should go home and sleep. | 你看起来肿肿的 你应该回家睡觉 |
[19:52] | There. Is that better? | 这样说好些吗 |
[19:54] | Sadly, yes. | 不幸地是 的确顺耳些 |
[19:57] | May I walk you home? And be honest. | 我可以送你回家吗 说实话 |
[20:01] | Okay. | 可以 |
[20:12] | You know, if someone had told me a year ago | 如果一年前有人对我说 |
[20:15] | that I’d be driving a car | 我会开着车 |
[20:17] | and sucking the flesh off a dead bird, | 啃着死鸟身上的肉 |
[20:20] | I’d have called ’em a liar. | 我一定管他叫骗子 |
[20:23] | Being human is far more complex than I thought. | 做人比我想象中复杂得多 |
[20:26] | There is no absolute personal truth here, | 没有绝对的个人真实 |
[20:28] | and these bodies don’t come with an owner’s manual. | 这些身体也没有配使用手册 |
[20:32] | So every day these people have to make up life, | 所以每天人们都必须粉饰生活 |
[20:35] | and truth becomes highly individual. | 而真实就变成了高度的个别化现象 |
[20:38] | Oh, my god, Dick, | 我的天啊 迪克 |
[20:40] | what if this lying thing falls into | 如果撒谎这档子事儿 |
[20:42] | the hands of the politicians? | 落到了政客手中该怎么办 |
[20:46] | Ooh, that’s a horrifying thought. | 想想都觉得可怕 |
[20:50] | I think these humans bend the truth | 我想人类之所以要歪曲事实 |
[20:52] | because this is a difficult place to live. | 是因为生存环境很恶劣 |
[20:55] | It’s a lonely blue dot on the far end of the galaxy. | 地球只是银河系 犄角旮旯处孤独的蓝色小点 |
[20:59] | And all the half-truths and flattery and diplomacy | 含糊其辞 阿谀奉承 交际辞令 |
[21:02] | are the lubricant that people spread on each other | 是人类相处的润滑剂 |
[21:05] | to get over the rough spots. | 克服彼此间的摩擦 |
[21:07] | It’s a lot easier on our planet. No one ever lies. | 咱们星球上可简单多了 从来没人撒谎 |
[21:11] | Except, of course, when you don’t want to help somebody move. | 当然了 不想帮别人搬家的情况除外 |
[21:15] | – I was sick that day. – I helped you move. | -那天我病了 -我可帮你搬过家 |
[21:17] | – I had two boxes. – Who packed the boxes? | -我才两盒东西 -谁打的包 |
[21:19] | Okay, listen, if we’re gonna… | 够了 听着 如果你… |