| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | So I said to her, “Hey, mom, | 于是我说 老妈 |
| [00:08] | your birthday was last month. Hoist it up yourself.” | 您生日是上个月 自个儿吊起来嘛 |
| [00:12] | I don’t get it. What are they laughing at? | 我不明白 这有什么好笑的 |
| [00:14] | Anyway, I’m not saying my mom is overweight, | 好啦 我不是说我老妈超肥 |
| [00:16] | but she’s got that flabby skin under her arm. | 可她的胳膊上都是下垂的赘肉 |
| [00:19] | You know what I’m talking about. | 你们懂的 |
| [00:20] | Well, the other day this wind picks up, | 某天狂风吹过 |
| [00:21] | this stuff starts jigglin’– | 赘肉开始抖动 |
| [00:23] | out dropped a tricycle I lost when I was seven. | 掉出了我七岁时丢失的三轮脚踏车 |
| [00:27] | Excuse me. | 打扰一下 |
| [00:29] | Perhaps you can help me out. | 你能说明下吗 |
| [00:31] | Those things you said about your mother, | 这些关于你母亲的事情 |
| [00:33] | I don’t understand why they’re considered funny. | 我不明白为什么这会成为笑料 |
| [00:35] | – Well, um– – Is it because | -呃 -是因为 |
| [00:37] | the toned arms that once cradled you securely | 曾经给你安全摇篮的结实臂弯 |
| [00:40] | now have large deposits of cellulite hanging from them? | 如今有巨型脂肪团悬挂在上面吗 |
| [00:44] | – Is aging funny? – If you think about it– | -变老很好笑吗 -如果你这样想… |
| [00:47] | And you! Is it all the alcohol you’re consuming | 还有你们 是不是喝酒喝昏头了 |
| [00:50] | that makes it okay to laugh at | 让你们觉得嘲笑 |
| [00:51] | the expense of your loved ones? | 自己所爱的人很好笑 |
| [00:53] | He’s right! I love my fat mama! | 他说的对 我爱我的胖妈妈 |
| [00:57] | And you’re a bad man! | 你是个坏人 |
| [01:04] | Dr. Albright, | 欧布莱特教授 |
| [01:05] | have you ever lost a tricycle in your mother? | 你曾经把三轮脚踏车落在你母亲身体里吗 |
| [01:09] | Please, Dick, I am in a cruddy mood. | 别来这套 迪克 我现在心情很糟 |
| [01:12] | This fundraiser is turning out to be a nightmare. | 这次筹款简直是场噩梦 |
| [01:26] | Well, why are you laughing? | 你为什么笑了 |
| [01:27] | You just said you were in a cruddy mood. | 你刚说你的心情很糟 |
| [01:29] | Oh, it’s these jokes Ben Littmeyer gave me at lunch. | 这是本·利特迈尔午餐时给我的笑话 |
| [01:32] | Ben Littmeyer, from the sociology department? | 本·利特迈尔 社会学系的? |
| [01:35] | Yes. Oh, he has the best sense of humor. | 是的 他的幽默感棒极了 |
| [01:37] | I finally convinced him to host the fundraiser. | 我终于说服他来主持筹款晚会 |
| [01:40] | Well, why didn’t you ask me to do it? | 你为什么不让我主持呢 |
| [01:42] | I have a wonderful sense of humor. | 我的幽默感也很棒 |
| [01:45] | Nina, come in here. | 尼娜 进来一下 |
| [01:47] | I have a wonderful sense of humor, don’t I? | 我有很棒的幽默感 没错吧 |
| [01:55] | See? | 看到没 |
| [01:57] | This is an important fundraiser for Pendleton, | 这是潘德顿大学很重要的筹款晚会 |
| [02:00] | and Ben can get those fat cats to cough up some cash. | 本可以让那些有钱人掏腰包[肥猫咳出钱] |
| [02:04] | Well, I can make a fat cat cough. | 我也能让肥猫咳啊 |
| [02:06] | I can even make him vomit. | 让它吐都行 |
| [02:10] | Thanks, Dick, but Ben already said yes. | 谢谢你 迪克 本已经答应了 |
| [02:12] | – You don’t think I’m funny? – Oh, Dick, | -你认为我不搞笑 -迪克 |
| [02:15] | you’re loving and intelligent and sexy– | 你很可爱 很聪明 很性感 |
| [02:19] | – and funny? – Oh! I have a class! | -很搞笑 -我有课要上 |
| [02:24] | I am funny! I am funny! | 我搞笑 我搞笑 |
| [02:26] | I am! | 我很搞 |
| [03:04] | What happened to your coat? | 你的外套是怎么回事 |
| [03:05] | I don’t know what happened to it, | 我不知道怎么回事 |
| [03:08] | so Ms. Dubcek let me borrow this one. | 杜布切克太太借了这件给我 |
| [03:13] | Sweet woman. | 好心的女人 |
| [03:14] | So you lost your coat? Oh, tough break. | 原来你的外套丢了 真不幸 |
| [03:17] | I lost more than a coat, Tommy! | 我丢的岂止一件外套 汤米 |
| [03:22] | I lost a friend, | 我丢的是朋友 |
| [03:24] | a buddy, | 兄弟 |
| [03:26] | a companion who kept me warm when it was cold | 天冷时令我温暖的伙伴 |
| [03:29] | and warmer when it was really | 天热得穿不了外套时 |
| [03:31] | sort of too hot to be wearing a coat. | 令我温暖得不得了的伙伴 |
| [03:36] | Tommy, | 汤米 |
| [03:38] | look, you’re the information officer. | 听着 你是信息官 |
| [03:41] | What do you know about this thing | 人类所谓的幽默感 |
| [03:43] | they call a sense of humor? | 你知道多少 |
| [03:45] | All I know is, that’s not it. | 据我所知 这个不是 |
| [03:48] | Lieutenant, I need your help. | 副指挥官 我需要帮助 |
| [03:50] | I need you to find out what’s funny. | 我需要你去弄清楚什么叫搞笑 |
| [03:52] | Oh, I can’t. I’ve got to build this– | 没空 我得做一个… |
| [03:54] | I ran out of room for my shoes. | 我的鞋子已经没地方放了 |
| [03:56] | Well, this is more important. It’s about me! | 可这个更重要 是关于我的 |
| [03:59] | Well, how am I supposed to know what’s funny? | 我怎么会知道什么叫搞笑 |
| [04:02] | What’s so important about a sense of humor anyway? | 再说了 幽默感有什么重要的 |
| [04:05] | Oh, come on, Tommy. | 拜托 汤米 |
| [04:06] | Having a sense of humor is having the power | 拥有幽默感就拥有了力量 |
| [04:08] | to transform someone’s mood, | 能改变人类的心情 |
| [04:11] | to lift his spirit. | 使之雀跃 |
| [04:13] | You give it to someone you love when she really needs it. | 当爱人需要时 你就要给她幽默感 |
| [04:16] | And I just found out today | 我今天刚发现 |
| [04:18] | that Mary’s been getting it from another man. | 玛丽从另一个男人那里获取这种感觉 |
| [04:22] | Dick, I think this whole “Being funny” thing | 迪克 我觉得搞笑能力 |
| [04:25] | is just innate. | 是与生俱来的 |
| [04:26] | – What do you think, lieutenant? – What do I think? | -你怎么看 副指挥官 -我的看法 |
| [04:30] | I think either you got it or you don’t. | 出娘胎时有就有 没有就没有 |
| [04:32] | Look what you just did! | 看看你做的好事 |
| [04:37] | What’s wrong with you guys? | 你俩什么毛病 |
| [04:39] | Come on! Wake up, you two! Come on! | 得了 起来 你们两个 起来 |
| [04:46] | How am I ever gonna find out what’s funny? | 我要怎么才能知道什么叫搞笑 |
| [04:51] | No, I don’t get it. Give me an example of what’s funny. | 我没明白 给我一个搞笑的例子 |
| [04:55] | I thought the movie Emma was really funny. | 我觉得电影《爱玛》很搞笑 |
| [05:01] | – What was funny about it? – It was full of irony. | -哪里搞笑了 -充满了讽刺 |
| [05:04] | Okay, so irony’s funny. | 好的 讽刺很搞笑 |
| [05:06] | Sure, because someone says something , | 是的 因为某人说的话 |
| [05:08] | and the opposite is actually true. | 其反意才是真意 |
| [05:10] | Oh, okay, like when you told me | 就像你告诉我 |
| [05:11] | Emma was gonna be a really great movie, | 《爱玛》是部好电影 |
| [05:13] | when actually it sucked out loud? | 事实上却烂到不行 |
| [05:16] | Well, apparently, | 很显然 |
| [05:18] | irony is a little too sophisticated for you. | 讽刺对你来说太深奥了 |
| [05:20] | Either that or you don’t know what’s funny either. | 或者说你根本不知道什么叫搞笑 |
| [05:22] | I… don’t know what’s funny? | 我 不知道什么叫搞笑 |
| [05:25] | I’ll have you know, at camp, | 告诉你 夏令营时 |
| [05:27] | I was voted “Miss whimsy.” | 我被选为了”奇想小姐” |
| [05:31] | Why? Was Miss irony killed in a canoe accident? | 是么 因为”讽刺小姐”玩独木舟时淹死了么 |
| [05:41] | – Hi, Dick. – Oh, uh, Mary. | -迪克 -玛丽 |
| [05:43] | Just doing some reading– | 我在看书 |
| [05:45] | some physics reading, you know. | 物理方面的 |
| [05:48] | Oh, that’s nice. | 很好 |
| [05:51] | Say, uh, | 听着 |
| [05:52] | an amusing joke just came to me– | 我突然想到一个很好玩的笑话 |
| [05:54] | you know, out of the blue. | 完全是突然想到的 |
| [05:59] | Knock, knock. | 咚 咚 |
| [06:02] | Okay. Who’s there? | 好的 是谁 |
| [06:09] | Uh, uh, “Who’s there,” you say? | 你说”是谁”吗 |
| [06:15] | Uh, Nina. | 呃 尼娜 |
| [06:17] | – “Nina” Who? – Our Nina. | -“尼娜”谁 -我们的尼娜 |
| [06:20] | She’s right here! | 她就在这儿 |
| [06:25] | Please let me host that fundraiser! | 求你让我主持募款晚会 |
| [06:27] | No! | 不 |
| [06:30] | Ben Littmeyer just called. | 本·利特迈尔打电话来了 |
| [06:32] | He’s gonna be a few minutes late for lunch. | 午餐他会迟到一会儿 |
| [06:34] | Oh, another lunch with Ben. | 又和本一起吃午餐 |
| [06:35] | I see. | 明白了 |
| [06:37] | How funny for you. | 你真会搞 |
| [06:40] | Well, would you like to join us ? | 你愿意一起吗 |
| [06:42] | We could make it a threesome. | 可以三个一起[3P] |
| [06:43] | I don’t go that way, Mary. | 我不搞那套 玛丽 |
| [06:52] | Fine! | 好的 |
| [06:54] | And last but not least, garlic gum. | 最后的也不差 大蒜口香糖 |
| [06:57] | Oh, uh, Harry, how would you like a nice piece | 哈里 要不要来一块好味道的 |
| [07:01] | – of perfectly ordinary gum? – Okay. | -完美的普通口香糖 -好的 |
| [07:05] | Mmm! Garlicky. | 不错 大蒜味的 |
| [07:09] | Well, I had a great day. | 我今儿黑透了 |
| [07:10] | I haven’t learned a thing about comedy, | 对诙谐依然不懂 |
| [07:12] | and August and I had a huge fight. | 和奥古斯特吵了一大架 |
| [07:13] | Oh, well, how would you like a nice doughnut | 要不要从标有”甜甜圈”的袋子里 |
| [07:16] | from this bag labeled “Donuts”? | 拿一个美味的甜甜圈 |
| [07:19] | Ahh! You touched doggy doody! | 好恶 你拿到了狗屎 |
| [07:24] | Since when is doggy doody made in Taiwan? | 什么时候开始狗屎是”台湾制造”了 |
| [07:26] | They have dogs in Taiwan– big ones. | 人家台湾也有狗啊 大狗 |
| [07:30] | – Funny, right? – I don’t know. You know, | -很搞笑对吧 -我不知道 知道吗 |
| [07:33] | I don’t think I’m ever gonna see my coat again. | 我想我再也见不到我的外套了 |
| [07:35] | Harry, why don’t you sit down? You’ll feel a lot better. | 哈里 不如坐下吧 你会感觉好些 |
| [07:40] | Right here. | 坐这儿 |
| [07:43] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
| [07:45] | Damn! | 见鬼 |
| [07:49] | You know, at least I can take comfort | 知道吗 至少我可以心怀安慰 |
| [07:52] | in knowing that I treated my coat well. | 因为我一直对外套厚爱有加 |
| [07:55] | Such as yesterday. It was hot on the bus. | 就像昨天 在公车上很热 |
| [07:58] | I took it off and folded it neatly | 我脱下来 叠整齐 |
| [08:01] | and placed it under the shade of my seat. | 放在座椅下的阴凉处 |
| [08:05] | – What? – You left it on the bus. | -怎么了 -你把外套落在公车上了 |
| [08:08] | – No-o-o! – You know, they have a lost and found, Harry. | -不是吧 -他们有失物招领处 哈里 |
| [08:12] | Oh, you mean, I might see my coat again? | 你是说 我有可能再见到我的外套 |
| [08:15] | Oh, I am so happy. | 我好开心哦 |
| [08:19] | Dick, I’ve been thinking about this “Humor” thing. | 迪克 我一直在想这个幽默的问题 |
| [08:22] | Why don’t you try what those guys on TV do? | 为什么你不学电视上的那些家伙 |
| [08:24] | – Everybody says they’re funny? – Oh, yeah, those guys! | -大家都说他们很搞笑 -对 那些家伙 |
| [08:26] | You know– | 就这样 |
| [08:41] | The McLAUGHLIN group? No. | 麦克劳克林组 才不要 |
| [08:44] | They’re not funny at all! | 他们一点也不搞笑 |
| [08:56] | – Oh, hello, Dick. – Hello, Ben. | -你好 迪克 -你好 本 |
| [08:58] | I’m waiting for Mary. | 我在等玛丽 |
| [09:00] | I’m sleeping with Mary. | 我睡过玛丽 |
| [09:04] | Oh. Okay. | 好的 |
| [09:05] | So from what I’ve heard, | 我听说 |
| [09:07] | you’re quite the professor funnypants. | 您可是超级搞笑教授 |
| [09:09] | – Well, I– – It’s seems that you have Mary | -我只是… -看来您用小笑话 |
| [09:12] | wrapped around your little funny bone. | 引得玛丽屁颠屁颠地围着您 |
| [09:15] | But I can assure you, I am a far tougher… | 但我能肯定地告诉您 我能让她 |
| [09:19] | “Bone-wrapper-er.” | 更屁颠屁颠儿 |
| [09:21] | I think I’ll wait outside. | 我看我还是出去等吧 |
| [09:24] | Make me laugh, funny man. | 逗我乐吧 搞笑老头 |
| [09:27] | Well, I’m not a comedian. | 我不是喜剧演员 |
| [09:29] | It’s just that funny things just seem to happen to me. | 只是我总能碰上搞笑的事情 |
| [09:32] | Oh, really? Like what? | 是吗 举个例子 |
| [09:34] | Like, last week I was at a bus stop, | 就像上周 我在公车站 |
| [09:36] | and it suddenly started raining– pouring! | 突然下雨了 倾盆而下 |
| [09:38] | And I look over and I see this | 一眼望过去我看到一位 |
| [09:41] | gorgeous grad student, | 非常漂亮的研究生 |
| [09:43] | and she’s looking at me | 她也在看着我 |
| [09:45] | like a kid with braces looking at a candy apple. | 那眼神 就像戴牙箍的小孩看着糖苹果 |
| [09:48] | Mmm, no. Not funny. | 不 不好笑 |
| [09:50] | Well, I’m about to say hello, | 我正准备打招呼 |
| [09:52] | when I suddenly realize that my hair has flipped forward. | 突然意识到我的假发翻过来了 |
| [09:56] | Here I am, standing in the rain with my very own awning. | 我就这样带着雨篷站在雨中 |
| [10:00] | Well, finally the bus arrived | 终于 公车来了 |
| [10:03] | and the door opened, | 门开了 |
| [10:05] | the compressor kicked in, | 压缩机的效果 |
| [10:07] | and this European weave of mine | 使得我这顶欧洲假发 |
| [10:11] | got sucked right into the bus! | 被公车门给夹住了 |
| [10:14] | Well, there I was, | 于是我就 |
| [10:15] | in front of this beautiful girl | 在漂亮女孩的面前 |
| [10:18] | and chasing that bus | 追着公车 |
| [10:20] | and chasing my hair– | 追我的假发 |
| [10:22] | up and down, chasing! | 一直追 |
| [10:24] | And I couldn’t– I just– oh! | 我没法儿 我… |
| [10:29] | This is not good. | 这可不妙 |
| [10:31] | Yes! Yes, it is! The bus stole your hair! | 很妙 很妙 公车偷了您的假发 |
| [10:35] | Call 911! | 快报警 |
| [10:38] | 911! | 报警 |
| [10:40] | Mary was so right about you, Ben! | 本 玛丽真没看错您 |
| [10:45] | What’s going on? | 怎么了 |
| [10:47] | Ben’s been telling me the funniest story | 本刚给我讲了个搞笑的故事 |
| [10:48] | about the bus and the girl and the– | 有公车 有美女 还有… |
| [10:52] | – Call 911! – You’ve heard this one before! | -快报警 -原来你听过这故事啊 |
| [11:04] | I’m telling you, Ben’s heart stopping temporarily | 告诉你们 本的心脏暂时停止跳动 |
| [11:07] | was the best thing that ever happened to me. | 对我来说是最棒的事 |
| [11:10] | He’s getting some much-needed bed rest, | 他得卧床休息 |
| [11:12] | and I’m emceeing the fundraiser tomorrow night. | 明晚筹款晚会的司仪变成我了 |
| [11:14] | How did you manage that? | 你打算怎么做 |
| [11:15] | I promised Dr. Albright I’d stick to Ben’s script. | 我对欧布莱特教授保证说照着本的稿子念 |
| [11:18] | – Are you gonna? – No. | -你会吗 -不会 |
| [11:20] | All right, next up on open-mic night, very funny man– | “公开表演之夜”下一位登台者 搞笑专家 |
| [11:24] | put your hands together for Dick Solomon. | 请各位鼓掌欢迎迪克·所罗门 |
| [11:30] | Thank you! Thank you! | 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [11:32] | Thanks a lot! Thank you so much! | 非常感谢 太谢谢了 |
| [11:35] | Now, | 现在 |
| [11:37] | I’m gonna tell you some jokes. | 我要给大家讲一些笑话 |
| [11:40] | Joke one. | 笑话一 |
| [11:42] | I went fishing last week. | 上周我去钓鱼了 |
| [11:44] | My permit said I could only catch five. | 只允许钓五条 |
| [11:46] | Oh, I caught five, all right, as in 35. | 我钓了五条 三十五的五 |
| [11:54] | – Was that funny? – No, no, no, no, no, no. | -这个搞笑吗 -一点也不 |
| [11:59] | But you know– | 还有 |
| [12:01] | pot-stickers, what are they all about? | 锅贴饺子知道吧 |
| [12:07] | Okay, joke number two: | 好的 笑话二 |
| [12:10] | some termites– | 一些白蚁 |
| [12:13] | I mean, huge termites– ate my house last night. | 巨型白蚁 昨晚吃了我的房子 |
| [12:22] | Uh, it’s gone. It’s completely gone. | 没了 房子全没了 |
| [12:25] | Uh, that’s it. That’s the joke. | 就这些 这就是笑话 |
| [12:28] | – Really suck. – Really. | -真烂 -太烂了 |
| [12:29] | Where are you going? Wait. | 你们去哪儿 别走 |
| [12:31] | Wait. Where are you going? | 别走 你们要去哪儿 |
| [12:34] | Hey, look! A bald guy. Am I right? | 快看 秃头男 没错吧 |
| [12:44] | So, who do you think’s funny in our class? | 你觉得我们班上谁很搞笑 |
| [12:48] | Um, Alan Gimball. | 艾伦·金伯 |
| [12:50] | – Alan Gimball? Why? – ‘Cause he’s 20. | -艾伦·金伯 为什么 -他二十了 |
| [12:57] | Oh, so– so you think dumb people are funny? | 这么说 你觉得蠢人很搞笑 |
| [13:00] | It they’re that dumb, yeah. | 蠢成那样不搞笑才怪 |
| [13:03] | You know who I think is funny? David Barrett. | 知道我觉得谁搞笑吗 大卫·巴雷特 |
| [13:06] | – Oh, yeah, he’s hysterical. – He is so clever. | -他是很好笑 -他好聪明 |
| [13:08] | I meant because he looks like a big dork. | 他可是一脸呆相 |
| [13:13] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [13:14] | – All right, let’s install this baby. – Sweet! | -好了 把这宝贝放进去 -太好了 |
| [13:27] | – Did you measure the shelves? – Yes. | -你量了架子吗 -量了 |
| [13:29] | – Did you measure the closet? – Yes. | -你量了橱柜吗 -量了 |
| [13:31] | Did you measure the door? | 你量了门吗 |
| [13:32] | Damn! | 见鬼 |
| [13:34] | Listen, if it’s storage you’re after, | 如果你需要这个来储物 |
| [13:36] | you can put it in the hall closet downstairs. | 可以放在楼下走廊的壁橱里 |
| [13:39] | Let me get the door for you. | 我去帮你开门 |
| [13:41] | All right. Keep it sideways. | 好的 侧过来 |
| [13:47] | – Uh, Dubcek, hold this. – I got it. | -杜布切克 帮个忙 -托住了 |
| [13:51] | I got it. No problem. I got it. No problem. | 托住了 没问题 托住了 没问题 |
| [13:54] | Okay, no problem. | 放心 没问题 |
| [13:56] | Hello? Yeah, just a second. Harry, for you. | 喂 稍等 哈里 找你的 |
| [14:05] | Hello. | 喂 |
| [14:07] | Wrong number. | 打错了 |
| [14:11] | She took it down herself. | 她自己就拿下去了 |
| [14:15] | Ah, it’s all right. | 没事的 |
| [14:18] | You had the guts to get up there, you know? It takes time. | 你能上台就很勇敢了 慢慢来 |
| [14:21] | I have to be funny by tomorrow night! | 明晚我就得搞笑起来 |
| [14:23] | You’re not gonna make it. | 那是不可能的 |
| [14:25] | I don’t know what to do! | 我不知道该怎么做 |
| [14:27] | Well, don’t over-think it, you know? | 别太想多了 |
| [14:29] | Just talk about things you know. That’s what I do. | 聊些自己知道的事 我就是这样 |
| [14:33] | Yeah. You make fun of your poor mother’s flabby arms. | 没错 你用你可怜母亲肥肥的胳膊来取乐 |
| [14:37] | Hey, those flabby-arm jokes made her | 嘿 那些肥肥胳膊的笑话让她 |
| [14:39] | the most popular senior in Ft. Meyers, Florida. | 成为佛州迈尔斯堡最火的老年人 |
| [14:43] | You– you mean, she doesn’t hate you for it? | 你是说 她并不恨你讲这些笑话 |
| [14:46] | Hate me? No. | 恨我 不 |
| [14:49] | She loves me for it. It’s a joke. | 她才喜欢呢 这是笑话 |
| [14:53] | You mean, | 你是说 |
| [14:55] | tricycles don’t really fall out of her arms? | 三轮脚踏车并没有真从她胳膊里掉出来 |
| [14:59] | Uh, no. | 没有 |
| [15:01] | Oh, my god! Of course they don’t! | 我的神呐 当然不会了 |
| [15:05] | I mean, just think how flabby her arms would have to be | 想想看 她的胳膊该胖到什么程度 |
| [15:08] | for a tricycle to be up in there, and for so many years. | 才能停辆三轮小车 而且是这么多年 |
| [15:12] | And she didn’t even notice it, | 还有她根本没意识到 |
| [15:13] | not even when she took a shower. | 连洗澡时都没看到 |
| [15:16] | That’s hysterical. I get it. | 真好笑 我明白了 |
| [15:20] | I get the joke! | 我明白这笑话了 |
| [15:22] | Thank you! Thank you so much! | 谢谢你 太谢谢你了 |
| [15:29] | This should be fun. | 今晚肯定有得乐 |
| [15:32] | Um, I’d like to welcome you all here tonight. | 很感谢大家今晚的出席 |
| [15:35] | Before we go any further, | 首先我要说的是 |
| [15:37] | I think that we should all acknowledge the sensational job | 让我们感谢深受尊敬的 我的同事 |
| [15:41] | that my esteemed colleague Dr. Mary Albright has done | 玛丽·欧布莱特教授组织了今晚这场 |
| [15:44] | in organizing this truly worthwhile event. Dr. Albright. | 了不起的重要的盛会 感谢欧布莱特教授 |
| [15:52] | Don’t you love Dr. Albright? I know I do. | 欧布莱特教授招人爱吗 我知道我爱 |
| [15:56] | Now, I know many of you are wondering, | 现在 我知道很多人在想 |
| [15:59] | what’s with her long sleeves? | 她为什么穿长袖呢 |
| [16:01] | Well, I’ll tell you. | 我来告诉大家 |
| [16:03] | It’s to cover up her flabby arms. | 为了遮住胳膊上的赘肉 |
| [16:09] | She shook them the other day, | 那天她抖了抖胳膊 |
| [16:11] | and “The Dead Sea Scrolls” fell out. | 《死海古卷》掉了出来 |
| [16:15] | She’s, uh– she’s quite old also, you see. | 她 她也有够老的 |
| [16:20] | But you know, as sweet and wonderful as Dr. Albright is, | 可你们知道吗 欧布莱特教授既温柔又可人 |
| [16:25] | she can also be somewhat domineering, | 但她也有几分专横 |
| [16:27] | power-hungry and hostile, | 控制欲及臭脾气 |
| [16:29] | and I think I finally figured out why. | 我想我终于明白为什么会这样了 |
| [16:31] | Dr. Albright, while you may not have | 欧布莱特教授 你可能没有 |
| [16:34] | a man’s genitalia, | 男性生殖器 |
| [16:35] | at least you have his razor stubble. | 但刮不干净的体毛茬你肯定有 |
| [16:46] | Oh, oh, oh! Oh! And there’s Nina. | 还有 还有 还有尼娜 |
| [16:49] | Nina is Dr. Albright’s assistant. | 尼娜是欧布莱特教授的助理 |
| [16:52] | Nina, stand up, stand up. Come on, stand up. | 尼娜 站起来 站起来 来吧站起来 |
| [16:54] | Show everybody how you put the “Ass” | 向各位显示下 你是如何将屁屁 |
| [16:57] | in “Assistant.” | 放回助理的位置的 |
| [17:03] | – I left my coat on the bus. – Can you describe it? | -我把外套落在公车上了 -可以形容下吗 |
| [17:06] | Yes, it had eight wheels, hard plastic seats, | 可以 它有八个轮子 硬塑料座位 |
| [17:08] | and when it stopped, it went… | 当它停车时 会发出这样的声音 |
| [17:11] | – Harry, he means the coat. – Oh, oh! | -哈里 他叫你形容外套 -知道了 |
| [17:14] | Um, well, it kind of looked like this one, | 和这件挺像的 |
| [17:16] | only it was furry– | 只是有毛 |
| [17:17] | Don’t have it. Next. | 没有 下一位 |
| [17:19] | – Night, Eddie. – See you Monday. | -晚安 艾迪 -周一见 |
| [17:23] | – He’s got my coat. – Harry, be a man. | -他拿了我的外套 -哈里 拿出点男人样 |
| [17:34] | Hey, mister, | 喂 先生 |
| [17:36] | that’s my coat. | 这是我的外套 |
| [17:38] | – No, it isn’t. – Yeah, that’s his coat. | -不是的 -没错 就是他的 |
| [17:41] | If it’s his coat, how come I’m wearing it? | 如果是他的 为什么我穿着 |
| [17:45] | Good point. | 有道理 |
| [17:52] | – Hey, babes. – Good morning, Dick. | -宝贝儿 -早上好 迪克 |
| [17:55] | – Did you sleep well? – Once the adrenaline wore off, | -昨晚睡得好吗 -只要肾上腺素褪去 |
| [17:59] | like a baby. | 就会睡得像个小宝宝 |
| [18:00] | When you’ve been riding the bullet train to “Yuk-ville”” | 一旦踏上通往幽默的高速火车 |
| [18:04] | it’s kind of hard to slow down. | 想降速有点难 |
| [18:05] | I’ve been up all night faxing jokes to Leno. | 我昨儿一整晚都在把笑话传真给里奥 |
| [18:09] | What have we here? | 好丰盛啊 |
| [18:11] | Eleven banana cream pies! | 十一个香蕉奶油派 |
| [18:14] | One for every letter in my name. Am I right? | 正好代表我名字的十一个字母 对吗 |
| [18:17] | – Right. – Oh, girls. | -是的 -美女们 |
| [18:21] | – You shouldn’t have. – Oh, we had to. | -你们太客气了 -这是必须的 |
| [18:25] | Really. | 真的 |
| [18:27] | You were so funny last night. | 昨晚你真是太搞笑了 |
| [18:30] | I was wondering if you could help us out. | 如果你能帮帮我们就更好了 |
| [18:33] | Oh, I’d be delighted to share my… | 我非常乐意分享我的 |
| [18:34] | comedic expertise. | 喜剧专长 |
| [18:37] | We who are clowns are known for our generosity. | 我们诙谐之人都以慷慨大方而闻名 |
| [18:39] | Maybe you can help us settle an argument we were having. | 也许你可以帮我们找到刚才争论的答案 |
| [18:42] | – Shoot. – What’s funnier? | -来吧 -哪一种更搞笑 |
| [18:45] | This… | 这样 |
| [18:50] | or this? | 还是这样 |
| [18:54] | Or… is two at once funny? | 还是一次两个更搞笑 |
| [19:00] | How about… | 那么 |
| [19:04] | this? | 这个如何 |
| [19:11] | Is this funny? | 这个搞笑吗 |
| [19:14] | I think… | 我觉得 |
| [19:17] | this is funny. | 这个很搞笑 |
| [19:19] | You are so right! | 太对了 |
| [19:26] | That is funny! | 好搞笑啊 |
| [19:45] | Thank you so much for helping us. | 非常感谢你的帮助 |
| [19:48] | I’m glad I could be of service. | 很高兴我能帮得上忙 |
| [19:50] | Now if you’ll excuse me, | 现在我失陪了 |
| [19:53] | I have a class to teach. | 我要去上课 |
| [20:07] | You know, it’s a remarkable feeling | 能让别人发笑 |
| [20:09] | to be able to make someone else laugh. | 真是了不起的感觉 |
| [20:11] | It’s almost as if you have the power | 就好像你有力量 |
| [20:13] | to get inside their brain and tickle it. | 进入他们的大脑胳肢一下 |
| [20:16] | I can do that with a chopstick. | 有根筷子我也能做到 |
| [20:19] | Imagine how different war would be | 想象下 战争会全然不同 |
| [20:21] | if instead of trying to kill each other, | 如果不再是互相杀戮 |
| [20:22] | people just showed up armed with jokes. | 而是双方以笑话为武器 |
| [20:25] | But you could still have guns, right? | 还是可以带枪的 对吗 |
| [20:27] | Because, you know, eventually you’d stop laughing | 因为 总会有笑完的时候 |
| [20:29] | and want to get on with the killing. | 接着就要开杀了 |
| [20:32] | You know what I found out? | 知道我发现了什么吗 |
| [20:34] | – Humor’s subjective. – What do you mean? | -幽默的主观性 -什么意思 |
| [20:35] | Well, I thought the fact that no one was laughing at you | 我觉得在喜剧俱乐部里 没人笑你的笑话 |
| [20:39] | at the comedy club was hysterical. | 就很好笑 |
| [20:40] | – Oh, I loved that. – Very funny. | -我喜欢 -太搞笑了 |
| [20:41] | No, no. No, that wasn’t funny. | 不不 一点也不搞笑 |
| [20:43] | – See? – Which is also ironic. | -明白没 -还很讽刺 |
| [20:45] | You were at a comedy club, and no one was laughing. | 你在喜剧俱乐部献技 却没人发笑 |
| [20:50] | Hey, shut up, all of you! | 你们都给我闭嘴 |
| [20:52] | Well, I think I’m gonna take | 我得带我毛茸茸的 |
| [20:54] | my furry little friend for a walk. | 小朋友出去溜达溜达 |
| [20:56] | He’s been locked in the basement all week. | 这个星期他都被关在了地下室 |
| [20:58] | You know, why do they call it a “Fur coat” anyway? | 知道为什么要叫”毛皮大衣”吗 |
| [21:01] | It’s not made of fur and it’s not a coat. | 既不是毛皮 也不是大衣 |
| [21:05] | Uh, actually, Harry, it’s both those things. | 哈里 其实两种都是 |
| [21:08] | It was a joke. | 这是个笑话 |
| [21:14] | Good night, everybody. | 晚安 各位 |