| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | We returned from the home planet, | 我们从母星返回了地球 |
| [00:05] | but forgot to clean up the landing site. | 但是忘了清理降落地点 |
| [00:07] | Aliens, huh? | 外星人 开什么玩笑 |
| [00:08] | Meanwhile, the big giant head | 与此同时 大头伟哥 |
| [00:10] | made us bring back a little present for Dick. | 让我们给迪克捎来了一份小礼物 |
| [00:12] | I’d like you to meet… | 让我为你介绍 |
| [00:13] | your new wife! | 你的新婚老婆 |
| [00:14] | My wife?! | 我老婆 |
| [00:16] | We’ve been calling her Janet. | 我们都叫她珍妮特 |
| [00:17] | Too bad he was already engaged to Dr. Albright. | 糟糕的是他已经和欧布莱特教授订婚了 |
| [00:20] | You crazy lug. | 小疯老头 |
| [00:22] | So Dick came up with the idea to send his new wife packing. | 所以迪克想了个办法把他的新老婆打发走 |
| [00:25] | Watch as I become the most obnoxious, repulsive creep | 我会变成有史以来最令女人恶心 |
| [00:29] | any woman has ever met. | 讨厌的变态男人 |
| [00:43] | Stella! | 丝戴拉 |
| [00:47] | Stella! | 丝戴拉 |
| [00:52] | Janet! | 珍妮特 |
| [00:57] | You didn’t eat your mini pizza! | 你怎么没吃你的迷你小披萨呀 |
| [01:00] | Acchh! | 我呸 |
| [01:01] | You call that a pizza? | 那玩意儿也能叫披萨吗 |
| [01:02] | I wouldn’t feed that to a dog! | 我都不会拿它去喂狗 |
| [01:04] | A dog wouldn’t feed it to a dog! | 狗都不会拿它去喂狗 |
| [01:06] | Not even a dog he hated! | 哪怕它对那只狗恨之入骨 |
| [01:09] | Ok, then. | 好吧 |
| [01:10] | Damn right you’re sorry! | 给老子道歉有屁用 |
| [01:13] | Sorry as hell! | 道歉有屁用 |
| [01:15] | You’re– | 你真是… |
| [01:16] | Now bring me another beer. | 给我再拿瓶啤酒来 |
| [01:19] | Because I drink! | 因为老子喜欢喝酒 |
| [01:20] | And I drink a lot! I’m a booze hound, I am. | 而且喝得很多 老子就是个超级酒鬼 |
| [01:25] | And what’s worse, | 更糟糕的是 |
| [01:27] | when I drink, I get a head of steam. | 我一喝酒 就很亢奋 |
| [01:29] | I get all punchy, and I like to lash out! | 我变得很有暴力倾向 很想发泄 |
| [01:33] | Oh, you’re not so bad. | 你也没那么糟糕啦 |
| [01:36] | Ahh…god! | 上帝啊 |
| [01:39] | Why can’t you dress nice? | 你为什么不能穿得漂亮点 |
| [01:42] | Look at you! | 看看你自己 |
| [01:43] | You look like someone who–who– | 你看上去就像个… |
| [01:45] | isn’t dressed all that nice. | 像个穿得不漂亮的人 |
| [01:49] | Well, I could change for you. | 我可以为了你而改变呀 |
| [01:51] | And look at that apron. | 你再看看你的围裙 |
| [01:54] | I like that apron. | 我倒是挺喜欢这围裙的 |
| [01:58] | It’s pretty. | 多好看呀 |
| [02:00] | With all the hearts and–and the words | 有这么多小心心 还有这些字 |
| [02:02] | and–and the hearts… | 还有这些小心心 |
| [02:06] | Oh, that’s Ok, baby. | 宝宝乖啊 别哭啊 |
| [02:08] | You can wear the apron. | 你可以拿去穿啊 |
| [02:10] | Oh, god, I’m sorry! | 上帝啊 真的对不起 |
| [02:14] | You’re a nice person, | 你是个好人 |
| [02:16] | and it’s not your fault that the big giant fathead | 大呆头伟哥把你派到这儿来 |
| [02:19] | made you come here and live with people you don’t even know! | 让你和根本不认识的人住在一起 也不是你的错 |
| [02:26] | I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers. | 我一直都很相信陌生人的善良 |
| [02:34] | Mama make it all better! | 听妈妈的话 一切都会好起来的 |
| [02:39] | I’m all messed up inside, mama. | 我的内心世界一团糟 妈妈 |
| [02:53] | Good morning, lover. | 早上好 亲爱的 |
| [02:55] | Oh, my god! What have I done? | 天哪 我干什么了 |
| [02:57] | Well, not much. But, hey, there’s always tonight. | 也没干太多啦 不过今晚还能继续呀 |
| [02:59] | Oh, what time is it? I- I’ve got to get to work. | 现在几点了 我得去上班了 |
| [03:02] | No, don’t worry about it. I already called Nina, | 别担心 我已经给尼娜打过电话了 |
| [03:05] | – and I told her you were gonna be late. – You called Nina? | -我告诉她你会迟到的 -你打电话给尼娜了 |
| [03:08] | Yes. I–I told her everything. | 是啊 我什么都告诉她了 |
| [03:09] | You told her everything?! | 你什么都告诉她了 |
| [03:13] | Well, where’s my kiss?! | 怎么不亲我一下就走 |
| [03:52] | “Speaking off the record, | 并非代表官方发言 |
| [03:55] | officer Don Orville told the bugle, | 唐·奥维尔警官私下接受采访时说 |
| [03:57] | ‘I believe aliens are among us | 我相信身边有外星人的存在 |
| [04:00] | and it’s up to me to nab ’em.'” | 而我的职责就是抓住他们 |
| [04:04] | Don, front page. | 唐 头版耶 |
| [04:06] | And it’s all because my eyes were opened to a world | 全因我不再固步自封 |
| [04:09] | I never knew existed. Thanks, Harry. | 勇敢地接受了新世界 谢了 哈里 |
| [04:16] | You can’t listen to him. It doesn’t exist. | 你别听他的 那个世界根本就不存在 |
| [04:18] | Oh, yes. It does. | 当然存在了 |
| [04:21] | Look what I found in the wheat field. | 瞧瞧我在麦田里发现了什么 |
| [04:23] | It’s the fusion chamber! | 是核变器 |
| [04:28] | The what? | 这是什么 |
| [04:30] | The fusion chamber…lain. | 何变奇 |
| [04:32] | The Fusion Chamberlain Show. | 何变奇脱口秀 |
| [04:34] | With your host, | 有请主持人 |
| [04:36] | Fusion Chamberlain! | 何变奇 |
| [04:44] | I’ve never seen it. | 没看过 |
| [04:46] | Sally, what I have in my hand | 莎莉 我手里拿着的 |
| [04:49] | is a piece of a terrifying alien spacecraft. | 是足以震天骇地的外星人飞船零件 |
| [04:52] | Undeniable proof that they’ve landed. | 铁证如山地证明了他们的降落 |
| [04:54] | Now if you’ll excuse me, | 失陪了 |
| [04:56] | I have to pack this in dry ice and drive it to the | 我要把它装进干冰箱子里 然后带着它去 |
| [04:58] | regional field office of the FBI in Cleveland. | 联调局克里夫兰办公室 |
| [05:00] | Why dry ice? | 为什么要用干冰 |
| [05:01] | Gives a nice smoky effect. | 因为有很炫的烟雾效果啊 |
| [05:03] | Well… | 好了 |
| [05:04] | good-bye, Sally. | 别了 莎莉 |
| [05:06] | Good-bye? | 别了 |
| [05:07] | I’m off to save the earth… | 我要去从宇宙败类手中 |
| [05:13] | from the scum of the universe. | 拯救地球 |
| [05:17] | FBI? What are we gonna do? | 联邦调查局 我们怎么办啊 |
| [05:19] | Don’t panic. I have the solution. | 别紧张 我有办法 |
| [05:20] | You’re gonna go down to the police station and take the fall | 你去警察局当回替罪羊吧 |
| [05:22] | Tell them it was a prank. | 告诉他们这是个恶作剧 |
| [05:24] | Why me? | 为什么要我去 |
| [05:25] | Well, you’re a minor. They’ll go easy on you. | 你是未成年人啊 他们不会难为你的 |
| [05:27] | Besides, we all have to make some sacrifices around here. | 再说了我们大家都得做出点牺牲啊 |
| [05:29] | Ok. What sacrifice are you making? | 行啊 你做出什么牺牲了 |
| [05:31] | The shame of having a juvenile delinquent for a nephew, Ok? | 我的侄子是个少年犯 还不够丢人吗 |
| [05:36] | I’m not angry, Tommy. | 我并不生气 汤米 |
| [05:38] | I’m just…disappointed. | 我只是很失望 |
| [05:54] | Good morning, Nina. | 早上好 尼娜 |
| [05:58] | Oh, that can’t be good. | 情况不妙啊 |
| [05:59] | Dick… | 迪克 |
| [06:01] | what happened last night? Where were you? | 昨晚出什么事了 你去哪儿了 |
| [06:03] | Well, didn’t Harry tell you? | 哈里没告诉你吗 |
| [06:04] | He told me you fell down a well. | 他告诉我你掉井里去了 |
| [06:06] | Uh, uh, uh, he was covering for me. | 他其实是在为我打掩护啦 |
| [06:09] | See I was packing my bag so that we could elope! | 我是在收拾行李 准备跟你私奔 |
| [06:11] | – Elope? – Yes! We’re going to Akron! | -私奔 -对 我们一起去阿克伦 |
| [06:14] | Oh, it’ll be so romantic. | 多浪漫呀 |
| [06:16] | You, me, the notary public at the copy-mart. | 只有你 我 还有证婚人 |
| [06:18] | Well, I–I can’t just leave. | 我不能就这么离开啊 |
| [06:20] | I have to cancel 3 classes, and… | 我得取消三堂课 |
| [06:22] | Is Nina in? | 尼娜在吗 |
| [06:23] | No! Uh– | 不在 |
| [06:25] | Mary, forget about your classes. | 玛丽 别想你的课了 |
| [06:27] | This time tomorrow we’ll be on our honeymoon. | 明天的这个时候我们就在度蜜月了 |
| [06:29] | We can go anywhere we want for as long as we want. | 想去哪儿就去哪儿 想待多久就待多久 |
| [06:31] | Heck, we may never come back. | 永远不回来又怎样 |
| [06:32] | We’re crazy in love, let’s go! | 我们为爱痴狂啦 出发吧 |
| [06:34] | Good morning. | 早上好 |
| [06:38] | – What’s going on? – Yeah, Dr. Solomon, | -怎么回事儿 -是啊 所罗门教授 |
| [06:40] | why don’t you tell her what’s going on? | 为什么你不告诉她是怎么回事呢 |
| [06:42] | – She’s lying. – What? | -她在撒谎 -什么 |
| [06:44] | Mary, you can’t listen to a thing she says | 玛丽 她说的任何一句话你都不能相信 |
| [06:46] | because it’s–it’s– | 因为今天是 |
| [06:48] | it’s…opposite Wednesday! | 说反话的星期三 |
| [06:50] | – Opposite Wednesday? – Yes! Everything she tells you, | -说反话的星期三 -对 她告诉你的任何事情 |
| [06:54] | you’re supposed to think the opposite. | 你都要往相反的方向去想 |
| [06:55] | All the secretaries are doing it. | 所有的秘书都这么干 |
| [06:57] | – Is this true? – No！ | -这是真的吗 -不是 |
| [06:58] | See? | 看见没 |
| [07:01] | Love is war, peace is hate. | 爱情就是战争 和平就是憎恨 |
| [07:03] | If she says she’s happy, she’s actually sad. | 如果她说她开心 其实她很伤心 |
| [07:05] | If she says I was with another woman last night, | 如果她说我昨晚跟另一个女人在一起 |
| [07:06] | it’s because I actually wasn’t! | 是因为我根本就没有 |
| [07:08] | You were with another woman? | 你跟另一个女人在一起 |
| [07:10] | She’s just saying that. | 那是她说的 |
| [07:11] | Save your breath. I already told her. | 省省吧你 我已经告诉她了 |
| [07:16] | Oh, Mary, it’s true. | 玛丽 这事是真的 |
| [07:18] | I was with a woman last night. | 我昨晚跟一个女人在一起 |
| [07:20] | Hah! I didn’t really tell her. | 哈哈 其实我根本没告诉她 |
| [07:23] | What?! | 什么 |
| [07:24] | It’s opposite Wednesday. | 今天是说反话星期三啊 |
| [07:26] | Gr–ohh, Nina! | 尼娜 |
| [07:28] | You’re an evil genius! | 你真是个邪恶的天才 |
| [07:42] | Go ahead and laugh! | 你们尽管笑吧 |
| [07:44] | But you won’t be laughing | 等联邦调查局 |
| [07:45] | when the FBI confirms what I’ve been telling you. | 确认了我说的话之后 你们就笑不出来了 |
| [07:48] | We are not alone. | 地球不是唯一的宇宙文明 |
| [07:51] | Hey, Don, uh, I gotta tell you something. | 嗨 唐 我得告诉你一些事情 |
| [07:53] | Can it wait, Tommy? I got a date with the FBI. | 能等等吗 汤米 我得去联邦调查局 |
| [07:56] | Well, then, no. No, it can’t. | 这样的话就更不能等了 |
| [07:58] | You see, uh, | 你听我说啊 |
| [07:59] | this is pretty funny, heh. | 这事儿其实挺好笑的 |
| [08:01] | I actually think you’re gonna laugh. | 我觉得你会笑出来的 |
| [08:03] | It turns out that it was me | 其实是我 |
| [08:05] | who destroyed old man Sweeney’s field all along. | 毁了斯维尼农场的麦田 |
| [08:07] | What? What the hell are you talking about? | 什么啊 你说什么呢 |
| [08:10] | Well, it’s no big deal. | 没什么大不了的 |
| [08:11] | I was just trying to have a little fun, | 我只是想找点乐子 |
| [08:13] | and so it went too far, you know? | 不过后来情况有点失控而已 |
| [08:15] | Oh? Is that so? | 是嘛 |
| [08:16] | Well, how do you explain the crop circle and the burn marks? | 那你怎么解释麦田里的怪圈和燃烧的痕迹 |
| [08:19] | Well, I– I was running laps | 我当时在绕圈跑 |
| [08:21] | with a flaming 2×4 dragging behind me. | 身后还拖着个火把 |
| [08:27] | You see, I’m a teenager. I don’t know any better. | 你看 我是个小孩 不懂事啦 |
| [08:29] | – See ya – Not so fast, junior. | -拜拜 -别急着走 年轻人 |
| [08:31] | There’s one thing you can’t explain: | 有一样东西你无法解释 |
| [08:34] | it’s this! | 这个 |
| [08:36] | That? | 这个啊 |
| [08:38] | Well– well, this is a– | 这是个… |
| [08:40] | it’s–it’s a– it’s a sling-a-rang. | 是个…抛抛棍 |
| [08:43] | It’s a toy. | 是个玩具 |
| [08:44] | You know, you… | 你知道的 |
| [08:46] | you throw it… | 你把它丢出去 |
| [08:51] | And–and it just lands there on the floor, you know? | 然后它就掉到地上了 |
| [08:56] | I’m sure you’ve seen the commercials for it on TV. | 你肯定在电视上看过它的广告啊 |
| [08:59] | You know, the little jingle– | 还有广告曲 |
| [09:01] | Sling-a-rang | 抛抛棍 |
| [09:02] | Sling-a-rang | 抛抛棍 |
| [09:04] | Pick it up | 捡起它来 |
| [09:05] | and fling that… thang | 砸恶棍 |
| [09:11] | Of course. | 当然听过 |
| [09:13] | A sling-a-rang in an empty field. | 空地里的一根抛抛棍 |
| [09:16] | I should’ve known. | 我早该料到 |
| [09:19] | It was you. | 确实是你干的 |
| [09:20] | It was you all along. | 自始至终都是你 |
| [09:22] | Yeah. Well, I feel better. | 是啊 我感觉好多了 |
| [09:24] | Thanks for listening, Don. Bye. | 谢谢你听我解释 唐 再见了 |
| [09:25] | Tommy! | 汤米 |
| [09:26] | There are a lot of rotten kids | 有很多坏小孩生活在 |
| [09:28] | in a town like Rutherford, | 像拉瑟福这样的小镇上 |
| [09:30] | but I expected more of you. | 但我对你有更高的期望 |
| [09:32] | I’m afraid I’m gonna have to teach you a lesson. | 恐怕我得给你点教训 |
| [09:36] | Well, I know that must tear you up, Don, | 我知道你一定很难过 唐 |
| [09:38] | considering it could jeopardize | 因为这事儿有可能破坏 |
| [09:41] | your relationship with my gorgeous aunt Sally. | 你跟我的漂亮姑姑莎莉之间的关系 |
| [09:49] | Yup, that’s an owie. | 说到我的痛处了 |
| [09:53] | But for your own good, | 但是为了你好 |
| [09:54] | I’m gonna have to charge you as an adult. | 我要将你作为成年人起诉 |
| [09:57] | Oh, does that mean I can rent “Showgirls”? | 这么说我能租《艳舞女郎》看喽 |
| [10:04] | – Mmm! What is this? – An omelet. | -这是什么 -煎蛋饼 |
| [10:06] | Well, I thought an omelet was runny eggs | 我以为煎蛋饼就是液体状的蛋 |
| [10:09] | filled with big chunks of unmelted cheese food. | 里面塞满了未融化的大块奶酪 |
| [10:12] | Yeah, well, live and learn. | 经一事 长一智 |
| [10:15] | What’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [10:17] | I don’t know, but they’re yummy. Hey! | 我不清楚 但是很好吃 |
| [10:19] | Janet! Come here and tell us what we’re eating! | 珍妮特 来说说我们吃的都是啥 |
| [10:22] | No, no, no, no. | 别喊了 |
| [10:23] | She’s not here. | 她不在家 |
| [10:24] | She went to Dick’s office to drop off his lunch. | 她去迪克的办公室送午饭了 |
| [10:26] | What? | 你说什么 |
| [10:28] | – I said she went to Dick’s office– – You idiot! | -我说她去迪克的办公室 -你这个白痴 |
| [10:30] | If Janet finds out about Albright, | 要是珍妮特发现了欧布莱特的事情 |
| [10:32] | we’re dead! We’ve gotta stop her! | 我们就死定了 我们得阻止她 |
| [10:34] | Let’s go! | 出发 |
| [10:45] | Let’s go! | 出发 |
| [10:48] | Excuse me. Could you tell– | 打扰一下 你能告诉我… |
| [10:54] | Oh, my god! | 上帝啊 |
| [10:55] | Look at the cute tuchus on you! | 瞧你这可爱的小屁屁 |
| [10:59] | Can we help you? | 需要帮忙吗 |
| [11:00] | I am sure you can. | 你肯定能帮上 |
| [11:02] | Well, campus information is– | 校园信息处在… |
| [11:04] | Look at you! | 再看看你 |
| [11:05] | Are you looking for somebody? | 你是在找人吗 |
| [11:07] | Uh, yes, Dr. Solomon. | 对 所罗门教授 |
| [11:09] | He’s my husband. | 他是我丈夫 |
| [11:10] | I didn’t know Dr. Solomon had a wife. | 我还不知道所罗门教授有个太太呢 |
| [11:12] | Well, this is my first time out of the house. | 这是我第一次出家门 |
| [11:16] | Uh, h-he’s in the next building. | 他在隔壁那栋楼 |
| [11:19] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [11:20] | See you around campus, bubbele. | 回见了 靓仔 |
| [11:29] | Come on, Dick. | 行了 迪克 |
| [11:31] | Who was she? | 她到底是谁 |
| [11:33] | Ok. | 好吧 |
| [11:34] | I wanted to keep this a surprise. | 我本来想给你一个惊喜的 |
| [11:36] | She was a travel agent. | 她是旅行代理 |
| [11:38] | I was up all night with her | 我整晚都跟她在一起 |
| [11:40] | planning our honeymoon in Hawaii. | 计划我们的夏威夷蜜月之旅 |
| [11:42] | So, once again, what are we waiting for? Let’s go! | 所以我们还等什么呢 出发吧 |
| [11:45] | – An all-night travel agent? – They’re the best! | -旅行代理会通宵工作吗 -行内最顶尖的 |
| [11:48] | Oh, Mary, just picture it. | 玛丽 你想象一下 |
| [11:50] | Just us. | 就我们两个人 |
| [11:51] | Just the two of us, no one else, | 就我们两个 没有别人 |
| [11:54] | by the ocean– | 在海边 |
| [11:55] | Palm trees swaying in the breeze, | 棕榈树在微风中轻轻摇曳 |
| [11:57] | you sunning yourself in front of me, | 你在我面前晒日光浴 |
| [12:01] | sensually removing your gauzy dress, | 充满挑逗地褪去你的薄纱 |
| [12:03] | your underwire bra, | 卸下你的钢圈胸罩 |
| [12:07] | your support panties with the tummy-control panel, | 脱去你那带收腹功能的裤子 |
| [12:10] | and finally your knee-highs… | 最后脱掉你的中筒袜 |
| [12:12] | All in the glow of a full moon | 在皎洁的月光下 |
| [12:14] | while I play Hawaiian wedding song. | 我在旁弹奏着夏威夷的婚礼歌曲 |
| [12:29] | Oh, it does sound nice. | 听上去确实很美妙 |
| [12:31] | I’ve got to admit it, Dick, you are full of surprises! | 我不得不承认 迪克 你真是充满了惊喜 |
| [12:35] | – Oh, Mary! – Oh, Dick! | -哦 玛丽 -哦 迪克 |
| [12:36] | Dick, honey, I brought your lunch! | 迪克 亲爱的 我给你送午饭来了 |
| [12:39] | My god. | 天哪 |
| [12:40] | Janet! | 珍妮特 |
| [12:41] | I mean– who are you?! | 不对 你是谁啊 |
| [12:44] | I’m your wife, silly. | 我是你老婆啊 傻子 |
| [12:47] | She’s your what?! | 她是你的什么 |
| [12:49] | His wife. | 老婆啊 |
| [12:50] | Nice to meet you. | 很高兴见到你 |
| [12:52] | You’re married? | 你已经结婚了 |
| [12:54] | Well, uh, not in the way you think. | 不是你想的那样 |
| [12:57] | You told me your wife was dead! | 你告诉我你老婆已经死了 |
| [12:59] | That’s what she told me! | 那是她告诉我的 |
| [13:01] | I’m not dead! | 我没死啊 |
| [13:03] | Your wife is coming! Your wife is coming! Your wife– | 你老婆要来了 你老婆要来了 你老婆 |
| [13:06] | Son of a bitch! | 你个贱人 |
| [13:08] | Mary! | 玛丽 |
| [13:09] | Please! Wait, Mary! | 求你了 等等 玛丽 |
| [13:12] | – We may be too late. – Gee… | -我们可能来晚了 -哎呀 |
| [13:15] | you think? | 这你都看出来啦 |
| [13:18] | So who’s the shiksa? | 这个非我犹太族类的女人是谁 |
| [13:25] | Mary, please, wait. | 玛丽 求你了 等等我 |
| [13:28] | Mary, you’ve got to listen. | 玛丽 你听我解释啊 |
| [13:32] | Mary– | 玛丽 |
| [13:33] | Mary, please stop! | 玛丽 求你了 停下 |
| [13:35] | I have to tell you something, | 我必须向你坦白一些事情 |
| [13:36] | something that will clear up this whole mess. | 说了就会把现在的混乱局面都理清楚 |
| [13:38] | I can’t wait to hear this. | 我好想听哦 |
| [13:40] | Ok. | 好 |
| [13:41] | Here’s the absolute truth. | 以下所说全部是绝对真实的 |
| [13:45] | I have a wife. Fine. I’ll give you that. | 没错 我是有个老婆 我承认 |
| [13:47] | But, Mary, there’s something you don’t realize. | 但是玛丽 有些事情你还没有意识到 |
| [13:50] | She doesn’t understand me. | 她不理解我 |
| [13:51] | – Oh, you poor thing. – You’re the only woman I love. | -真”可怜” -你才是我唯一爱的人 |
| [13:53] | – Oh, great. – And when I’m with her, | -得了吧你 -我跟她在一起时 |
| [13:54] | all I think about is you. | 脑子里想的全是你 |
| [13:56] | Where have I heard that before? | 我怎么好像以前听过这话呢 |
| [13:57] | Oh, I know! Every married man I’ve ever dated. | 想起来了 每一个我约会过的已婚男人 |
| [14:01] | How many married men have you dated? | 你约会过多少个已婚男人 |
| [14:03] | Just one, Dick. You! | 就一个 迪克 就是你 |
| [14:05] | Because I don’t do that. | 因为我不干那种勾当 |
| [14:07] | And you know what else I don’t do with married men? | 还有一件事我绝不和已婚男人做 |
| [14:09] | Marry them! | 就是嫁给已婚男人 |
| [14:10] | Hey, hey, hey, congratulations, you two! | 嗨 恭喜你们两个啊 |
| [14:13] | Oh, Mary. Look, I’m confused, and you’re confused, | 玛丽 听着 我很困惑 你也很困惑 |
| [14:16] | so let’s just stop all this nonsense, go to a motel, | 我们就别再毫无意义地争吵了 去找个小旅馆 |
| [14:19] | – and make love. – Oh, come on, Dick. | -然后开做吧 -算了吧 迪克 |
| [14:20] | You’re married. Do you understand? Married. | 你已经结婚了 你到底明不明白 你已经结婚了 |
| [14:22] | And you lied about it. | 而且你欺骗了我 |
| [14:24] | I never want to see your face again. | 我再也不想看见你这副嘴脸 |
| [14:27] | – Hey– -S hut up! | -嘿 -闭嘴 |
| [14:35] | Well, hi, honey. How was your day? | 亲爱的 今天一天过得好吗 |
| [14:38] | Oh, how was my day? My life has become a farce! | 过得好吗 我的生活都变成一场闹剧了 |
| [14:41] | And not a witty little door-slamming, | 不是诙谐的传统摔门闹剧 |
| [14:43] | everybody-runs-around farce. No! | 没有众人窜来跳去的有趣场景 没有 |
| [14:44] | A cheerless, lachrymose, dispiriting farce | 而是一场沉闷 眼泪狂飙令人沮丧的闹剧 |
| [14:47] | where the only one laughing is a crying mime! | 唯一的笑点就是痛哭流涕的哑剧演员 |
| [14:51] | Well, at least we have each other. | 至少我们拥有彼此啊 |
| [14:53] | But I don’t love you. | 但我不爱你啊 |
| [14:55] | What?! | 什么 |
| [14:56] | I don’t love you! | 我不爱你 |
| [14:58] | You do too love me. | 你一定是爱我的啊 |
| [15:01] | I am your wife, the person you’re supposed to love! | 我是你老婆 你应该爱我啊 |
| [15:04] | – Those are the rules! – There are no rules! | -这可是规矩 -这方面可没有规矩 |
| [15:07] | You can feel whatever you want for whoever you want to. | 你有权对任何一个人产生任何一种感情 |
| [15:10] | Love’s not an assignment. It just happens! | 爱情不是完成任务 是要顺其自然的 |
| [15:13] | That’s earth, baby! | 这里是地球啊 宝贝儿 |
| [15:15] | So, you mean… | 这么说 你的意思是 |
| [15:17] | that I don’t have to love you? | 我不是非得爱你不可 |
| [15:20] | No. | 不是 |
| [15:22] | Oh, my god, that’s so great. | 天哪 太好了 |
| [15:23] | Ever since I got here | 自从我到地球后 |
| [15:25] | you’ve been just a huge pain in my purple tube. | 我就一直觉得你顶心顶肺 |
| [15:28] | Wha– | 啥 |
| [15:29] | In fact, there are a lot of things | 事实上 这个星球上的很多东西 |
| [15:32] | that I don’t love about this planet. | 我都不喜欢 |
| [15:35] | This broom… | 这个扫帚 |
| [15:38] | This stupid-ass apron… | 这个蠢到家的围裙 |
| [15:41] | These stupid dishes… | 这些傻乎乎的盘子 |
| [15:43] | – And your family! – What’s wrong with my family? | -还有你的一家人 -我的家人怎么了 |
| [15:46] | What’s wrong with them? | 怎么了 |
| [15:47] | They act like a bunch of people! | 他们活脱脱就像一群人类啊 |
| [15:50] | But what are you doing? | 你要干什么 |
| [15:53] | I’m leaving you, darling. | 我要离开你 亲爱的 |
| [15:56] | Leaving? W-well, what about your big giant uncle? | 离开 那你的大头叔叔那里怎么交待 |
| [16:00] | Well, that will have to be our… | 这么说 这件事情就只能是 |
| [16:02] | big giant secret. | 你我之间的大秘密了 |
| [16:04] | Oh, thank you, Janet. | 谢谢你 珍妮特 |
| [16:06] | I mean, jeez, if I get to pick the person I’m in love with, | 拜托 如果我能自己挑选爱人的话 |
| [16:08] | I’m gonna get somebody really good-looking! | 我一定会选个超级大帅哥 |
| [16:11] | Oh! I’m gorgeous. | 我就很好看啊 |
| [16:13] | I mean, I saw these guys today at the school, | 我今天在学校看见两个家伙 |
| [16:16] | and they were just unbelievably beautiful! | 小伙子长得那叫一个英俊非凡 |
| [16:19] | I mean, they had all these muscles. | 他们全身都是肌肉 |
| [16:21] | Well, I have muscles. | 我也有肌肉啊 |
| [16:22] | No, I mean real muscles! | 我的意思是货真价实的肌肉 |
| [16:25] | And they were young, and they were hard, | 他们很年轻 很强壮 |
| [16:28] | and they had all their hair, even right here. | 而且他们全部头发都在 连这儿都有 |
| [16:30] | Huh! Hair is very overrated. | 拜托 头发没那么重要 |
| [16:32] | It takes away from the size of your face. | 头发多了会显得脸很小 |
| [16:34] | Well, don’t take it personally, Dick. | 你又何必在意呢 迪克 |
| [16:37] | I mean, you just said yourself that you don’t love me. | 你刚自己还说你不爱我的 |
| [16:42] | Ok. Now, which way’s Vegas? | 好了 赌城怎么走 |
| [16:44] | But, Janet, it’s a big world out there. | 但是珍妮特 外面的世界很大 |
| [16:47] | Where will you go? What will you do? | 你将在哪里安家 以何为生 |
| [16:50] | Oh, don’t worry about me, Dick. | 别替我担心 迪克 |
| [16:55] | We’ll always have Rutherford. | 拉瑟福会在我们心中永存的 |
| [17:00] | Bye, Janet. | 再见 珍妮特 |
| [17:01] | Bye, Janet. | 再见 珍妮特 |
| [17:04] | What? Janet’s leaving? | 怎么了 珍妮特要走吗 |
| [17:06] | Yes. | 是啊 |
| [17:07] | Noooo! Janet, don’t go! | 不要啊 珍妮特 不要走啊 |
| [17:10] | I don’t believe it. | 真不敢相信 |
| [17:12] | The fake mother of my phony son. | 我冒牌儿子的赝品妈妈就这么走了 |
| [17:15] | I’ve been dumped by my wife and my fiancee in the same day. | 我在同一天里被老婆和未婚妻甩了 |
| [17:19] | Ohh! What about me? | 你怎么不说说我呢 |
| [17:21] | I’ve lost a live-in maid, | 我失去了一个住家女佣 |
| [17:23] | a cook, a gardener, a chauffeur, | 兼厨师兼园丁兼司机 |
| [17:26] | and an electrician. I loved her! | 兼电工 我好爱她 |
| [17:29] | Aww! Well, look on the bright side, Dick. | 往好的方面想 迪克 |
| [17:32] | With Janet out of the way, | 珍妮特走了之后 |
| [17:33] | maybe you’ll get another shot at Albright. | 没准你在欧布莱特那儿又有机会了 |
| [17:34] | – You think? – Probably no. | -你觉得有机会吗 -没戏 |
| [17:36] | But, hey, at least there’s still the three of us. | 但至少我们三个还能厮守在一起啊 |
| [17:42] | Hey, wait. | 打住 |
| [17:43] | Didn’t there used to be four of us? | 咱们以前不是四个人吗 |
| [17:46] | Ohh, yeah! Officer Don called. | 对了 唐警官打电话来了 |
| [17:49] | “Tommy’s in jail.” | “汤米在监狱里” |
| [17:52] | Jail?! | 监狱 |
| [17:55] | Get him out! Get him out of jail! | 想办法把他从里面弄出来 |
| [17:57] | You idiots! | 你们这帮白痴 |
| [18:02] | Don, where’s Tommy? | 唐 汤米在哪儿 |
| [18:04] | Oh, you’re too late. | 你们来晚了 |
| [18:07] | You killed Tommy?! | 你把汤米杀了吗 |
| [18:09] | No, I let him go. | 没有 我让他去了 |
| [18:11] | You let Tommy go to his death?! | 你让汤米去死了 |
| [18:17] | Hey, Harry. | 嘿 哈里 |
| [18:22] | He’s alive. | 他还活着呢 |
| [18:26] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [18:28] | Nice tie. | 领带挺不错 |
| [18:30] | What did they do to you? | 他们对你做什么了 |
| [18:32] | It was pretty scary. | 挺恐怖的 |
| [18:33] | As a juvenile, I could’ve spent 200 hours | 作为未成年人 我可能被罚在公路上 |
| [18:36] | cleaning up other people’s trash on the highway. | 清理两百个小时的垃圾 |
| [18:39] | But I wanted to teach him a lesson, | 但我想给他一个教训 |
| [18:40] | so I charged him as an adult. | 所以我把他作为成年人起诉了 |
| [18:42] | What does that mean? | 什么意思 |
| [18:43] | I got a $40 fine. | 我被罚款四十美金 |
| [18:45] | Where’d you get $40? | 你哪儿来的四十美金 |
| [18:47] | I paid it. | 我付的 |
| [18:50] | Damn the system! | 该死的体制 |
| [18:53] | Thanks, Don. | 谢了 唐 |
| [18:55] | I owe you…big. | 我欠你个大人情 |
| [18:59] | Harry, grab the, uh– | 哈里 拿上那个 |
| [19:01] | uh, the sling-a-rang. | 额 抛抛棍 |
| [19:03] | The what? | 啥 |
| [19:04] | The sling-a-rang? | 抛抛棍啊 |
| [19:05] | Remember? You’ve seen it advertised | 记得吗 你在广告上看到过的 |
| [19:07] | on the Fusion Chamberlain Show. | 何变奇脱口秀上的广告 |
| [19:13] | Yes, I have. | 对 我是看过 |
| [19:15] | I gotta see that show. | 我得看看那个节目 |
| [19:30] | It’s me. | 是我 |
| [19:33] | What do you want? | 你想干嘛 |
| [19:34] | Janet’s gone forever, Mary. | 珍妮特已经永远消失了 玛丽 |
| [19:36] | She’s gone. We’re divorcing. | 她走了 我们离婚了 |
| [19:38] | She’s not around to ruin our lives anymore. | 她再也不会破坏我们的生活了 |
| [19:40] | This isn’t about her, Dick. | 这不关她的事儿 迪克 |
| [19:42] | She didn’t lie to me. | 又不是她对我撒谎 |
| [19:43] | She’s not the one who didn’t tell me about her! | 又不是她没有告诉我关于她的事情 |
| [19:47] | Mary, I wanted to. | 玛丽 我想要告诉你的 |
| [19:50] | What else is there, Dick? | 你还有什么事情瞒着我 迪克 |
| [19:53] | Dick? | 迪克 |
| [19:56] | There is something else, isn’t there? | 你还真有其他事情瞒着我啊 |
| [19:58] | And you can’t tell me, can you? | 而且你还不能告诉我 是不是 |
| [20:05] | Good-bye, Dick. | 再见 迪克 |
| [20:09] | I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [20:16] | So I guess there’s no way you would ever marry me. | 我猜你绝对不可能嫁给我了吧 |
| [20:21] | Dick, right now there’s no way I’d even carpool with you. | 此时此刻 要我跟你拼车都绝不可能 |
| [20:25] | Well…what if your car breaks down? | 那要是你的车坏了呢 |
| [20:29] | I’d rent. | 我会租一辆 |
| [20:30] | – Well, there are no cars available. – I’d walk. | -要是车都租光了呢 -我就步行 |
| [20:32] | What? In the worst snowstorm in 50 years? | 发生五十年一遇的暴风雪你也步行吗 |
| [20:35] | – I’d take a bus. – You would never take a bus! | -那我坐巴士 -你才不会坐巴士呢 |
| [20:38] | You’re right. Then I’d carpool with you. | 你说对了 那样我就只好跟你拼车了 |
| [20:45] | Yes! | 好极了 |
| [20:49] | You know, I gotta say, | 我不得不说 |
| [20:51] | there are things I’m gonna miss about Janet. | 在有些事情上我真的会想念珍妮特的 |
| [20:54] | Yeah. Especially the way she made food you could eat. | 没错 特别是她做的饭菜是给人吃的 |
| [20:59] | Yep. She had a gift. | 是啊 她是挺有天赋的 |
| [21:01] | What are you gonna miss most about Janet, Dick? | 你会最想念珍妮特哪一点 迪克 |
| [21:03] | Oh, I’m gonna miss the amazingly nutty complications | 我会想念她给我的生活带来的这些 |
| [21:07] | she added to my life. Nothing, you idiot! | 糟糕的事情…才怪 你个白痴 |
| [21:10] | You know, Dick, we’re all real sorry about Mary. | 迪克 你和玛丽的事 我们都很遗憾 |
| [21:13] | Kind of. | 有点遗憾吧 |
| [21:15] | Oh, I’m not worried. When we first came here, | 我不担心 咱们刚到地球的时候 |
| [21:17] | Mary hated me, and I won her over. | 玛丽很讨厌我 我不还是赢得了她的芳心 |
| [21:19] | I can do it again. | 我能让奇迹再次上演 |
| [21:21] | – You really think so? – Of course. | -你真这么想 -当然 |
| [21:22] | She won’t be able to stay away for long, | 她不会离开我太久的 |
| [21:25] | not with an album full of naked pictures of me. | 尤其是看到满满一相册我的裸照之后 |
| [21:28] | She has naked pictures of you?! | 她有你的裸照 |
| [21:30] | Not yet. Harry, get the camera. | 目前还没有 哈里 拿上相机 |
| [21:43] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
| [21:51] | A photo album? | 寄个相册给我干嘛 |
| [21:55] | Oh, my god! | 天哪 |
| [21:59] | Oh, my god. | 上帝啊 |
| [22:06] | That’s my teddy! | 那是我的泰迪熊 |