| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:09] | What’s so funny? | 什么这么好笑 |
| [00:10] | Look at the cover of this ridiculous magazine. | 这本扯淡杂志的封面真好笑 |
| [00:13] | Harrison Ford. | 哈里森·福特 |
| [00:15] | – Ooh. Let me see that. – They’re calling this ugly nerd | -给我看看 -居然说这个呆瓜丑八怪 |
| [00:17] | the sexiest man on earth. | 是地球上最性感的男人 |
| [00:19] | Well, he is. | 他是啊 |
| [00:21] | Oh, wait a minute. You actually think he’s sexy? | 少来了 你真觉得他性感吗 |
| [00:23] | I wouldn’t kick him out of bed. | 总之我是不会把他踢下床啦 |
| [00:25] | I would. | 我会的 |
| [00:26] | He’s got to go out and work | 他得出去拍电影挣钱 |
| [00:28] | and support me and the kids. | 养我和孩子 |
| [00:30] | Oh, come on! I’m sexier than he is. | 拜托 我比他性感好吧 |
| [00:32] | Absolutely. | 当然了 |
| [00:35] | Excuse me. | 我失态了 |
| [00:39] | Well, at least you think I’m sexier than he is, Mary. | 至少你觉得我比他性感 对吧玛丽 |
| [00:42] | Huh? | 对吧 |
| [00:44] | Don’t you? | 是吗 |
| [00:45] | Oh, come on, Dick. You’re sexy, but… | 好啦 迪克 你也算性感啦 但… |
| [00:47] | you’re no Harrison Ford. | 你怎能跟哈里森·福特比啊 |
| [00:51] | I am too Harrison Ford! | 我强过他百倍 |
| [00:53] | Oh, Dick… | 迪克 |
| [00:54] | Well, I am! | 就是嘛 |
| [00:55] | I have to get to class. | 我得去上课了 |
| [00:57] | How can you possibly say Harrison Ford is sexier than I am? | 你怎会觉得 哈里森·福特比我性感呢 |
| [01:00] | I mean, just because he’s got those incredible cheekbones | 就因为他长着 超级迷人的颧骨 |
| [01:03] | and that perfectly chiseled jaw… | 鬼斧神工似的下颚 |
| [01:05] | and those penetrating brown eyes… | 还有这炯炯有神的褐色眼睛 |
| [01:08] | that you could almost… | 几乎可以让人 |
| [01:10] | lose yourself in… | 迷失在其中 |
| [01:14] | If you stare at them… | 如果你盯着这眼睛 |
| [01:15] | long enough… | 够久的话 |
| [01:21] | But I love you. | 可我爱的是你 |
| [01:23] | See you, Dick. | 回见了 迪克 |
| [01:31] | Oh, my god! | 我的天啊 |
| [01:34] | I’m hideous! | 我丑死了 |
| [02:22] | Ok, fine. Lights. | 好了 开灯 |
| [02:23] | Any questions, comments, anyone? | 有问题吗 有意见吗 随便说 |
| [02:26] | About what, Dr. Solomon? | 哪方面的问题 所罗门教授 |
| [02:28] | We’ve been sitting in the dark for 10 minutes. | 我们在黑暗中坐了十分钟 |
| [02:29] | You haven’t showed us a thing. | 你什么也没展示啊 |
| [02:31] | I’ve been showing you my face. | 我展示的是我的脸啊 |
| [02:32] | What do you people think of my face? | 你们对我的脸有什么看法 |
| [02:34] | Anyone? Uh, how about you, Bug? | 谁来说 你觉得呢 小虫 |
| [02:37] | Wha…excuse me, sir. Your, uh, your what? | 抱歉 先生 你的什么 |
| [02:40] | My face! | 我的脸 |
| [02:41] | My face. Do you find it appealing | 我的脸 你有看出来这张脸 |
| [02:43] | in an incredibly handsome, | 帅到无以伦比 |
| [02:45] | sexiest-man-on-earth sort of way? | 属于地球上最性感之类吗 |
| [02:48] | You’re sort of not my type. | 你不是我喜欢的类型 |
| [02:51] | How about you, Pitman? Do you find me attractive? | 你呢 皮特曼 你觉得我迷人吗 |
| [02:54] | I’m sorry, Dr. Solomon. | 抱歉 所罗门教授 |
| [02:55] | The last time I answered that question in school, | 上次我在学校里回答这个问题 |
| [02:58] | one thing led to another, and then my biology teacher | 一件事接一件 最后我的生物老师 |
| [03:00] | wound up asking me to kill her husband. | 要我杀了她的老公 |
| [03:04] | Eh, eh, Leon, | 里昂 |
| [03:05] | you’ll give me a straight answer. | 你老老实实回答我 |
| [03:07] | Me? Well, uh…Dr. Solomon, | 我 那个… 所罗门教授 |
| [03:10] | I’ve always found high cheekbones | 我一直觉得高颧骨 |
| [03:11] | to be very attractive. | 很有吸引力 |
| [03:13] | Like mine? | 我这样的吗 |
| [03:14] | Actually, more like Pitman’s. | 其实吧 更像是皮特曼这样的 |
| [03:17] | What? | 什么 |
| [03:18] | Yeah, but what about me? | 那我呢 |
| [03:19] | Uh, Dr. Solomon… | 所罗门教授 |
| [03:21] | looks are very subjective. | 对容貌的看法是个主观问题 |
| [03:24] | Well, is that your subtle way of telling me | 你这是在含蓄地告诉我 |
| [03:26] | that you think I’m hot? | 你觉得我性感吗 |
| [03:28] | No. | 不是 |
| [03:31] | Oh, yeah? Well, you’re not so pretty yourself! | 是吗 你自己长得也就这个水平 |
| [03:37] | …Harrison Ford. | 哈里森·福特 |
| [03:38] | What’s with the long face? | 干嘛拉个长脸啊 |
| [03:40] | Look, that’s just the way it’s shaped. I can’t help it, Ok? | 我的脸形状就这样 我也没办法行了吧 |
| [03:44] | Whoa. What’s yanking your ponytail? | 什么事发这么大火 |
| [03:46] | I just don’t get it. | 我就不明白了 |
| [03:47] | Harrison Ford and I have all the same parts: | 哈里森·福特和我脸上的零件都一样 |
| [03:49] | 2 eyes, 2 ears, a nose, and a mouth. | 俩眼睛 俩耳朵 一个鼻子一张嘴 |
| [03:51] | How come they look so much better on him? | 怎么在他脸上组合起来就那么好看呢 |
| [03:53] | Well, you know, you could always do a little snip-snip job. | 知道吗 你可以动动刀子嘛 |
| [03:57] | If you’re suggesting that I kidnap someone, | 如果你是建议我绑架某人 |
| [03:59] | cut off his face, | 割下他的脸 |
| [04:00] | and glue it onto my own, don’t. | 粘在我脸上 省省吧 |
| [04:02] | Because that never looks as good as it should. | 因为这样从来达不到理想效果 |
| [04:06] | I was talking about plastic surgery. | 我说的是整容手术啦 |
| [04:08] | Yeah. You know, 10 years ago | 告诉你 十年前 |
| [04:09] | I had my boobs done. | 我的胸部就做过手术 |
| [04:11] | You did? | 是吗 |
| [04:13] | Reduced 3 sizes. | 减了三个罩杯 |
| [04:17] | Plastic surgery. | 整容手术 |
| [04:19] | Of course! | 妙啊 |
| [04:21] | Why should I have to walk around | 我为何要以单调的 |
| [04:23] | looking like a drab lump of clay | 粘土之姿行走于世间 |
| [04:25] | when I can pay someone to…chisel me | 我可以付钱给人 将我雕凿成 |
| [04:27] | into a perfect human sculpture? | 完美的人类雕像 |
| [04:30] | You’re not going to get your boobs done, are you? | 你不会是要去做胸部手术吧 |
| [04:34] | I just might! | 有何不可呢 |
| [04:37] | This is so unfair. | 这也太不公平了 |
| [04:39] | If everyone can just pay to be good-looking, | 如果大家都可以出钱变漂亮 |
| [04:42] | it totally cheapens things for those of us | 那咱们这些天生丽质的 |
| [04:44] | who are naturally exquisite. | 岂不是跌价了 |
| [04:47] | Natural? There’s nothing natural about you. | 天生丽质 你好意思说天生 |
| [04:50] | You picked your body out of a catalog. | 你可是从广告册里挑的这副皮囊 |
| [04:53] | Mine came with a free tote bag. | 我的那个附送大挎包 |
| [05:01] | Hey…look… | 快看 |
| [05:02] | the little hand is picking Dick’s nose. | 小手给迪克挖鼻孔 |
| [05:04] | Now cut it out! | 别闹了 |
| [05:10] | I’m sorry I had to step out. | 很抱歉我刚才离开了 |
| [05:12] | I was in the middle of a tattoo removal. | 去除纹身的治疗还没有结束 |
| [05:15] | Apparently, this gentleman has stopped loving his mom. | 很显然 这位先生不再爱他的母亲了 |
| [05:18] | Ok. Now let’s see what we can do | 好的 我们来看看要怎样改造 |
| [05:21] | with…your face. | 你的脸 |
| [05:24] | Yeah. Can I see how I’d look with a bigger chin? | 可以让我看看下巴大点是什么样子吗 |
| [05:26] | Of course. | 当然可以 |
| [05:29] | But with a bigger chin, | 下巴大了 |
| [05:31] | I’d need a bigger nose, right? | 鼻子也得跟着大 对吧 |
| [05:33] | Well… | 那个嘛 |
| [05:33] | Ok. | 好的 |
| [05:38] | Why stop there? Make my ears bigger. | 别停啊 耳朵也要大点 |
| [05:41] | Your ears. | 你的耳朵 |
| [05:44] | No, bigger. Even bigger. | 大点儿 再大点儿 |
| [05:47] | No, like an elephant. Bigger! Even bigger! | 要像大象的耳朵 再大再大 |
| [05:50] | Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick. | 迪克 迪克 |
| [05:51] | Shh. Calm down. Sit down. | 冷静 坐下吧 |
| [05:52] | I’m sorry, doctor. He’s just a little overexcited | 不好意思 医生 变帅气这个念头 |
| [05:55] | about the idea of… looking better. | 让他兴奋过头了 |
| [05:57] | Ha! Well, he should be, and, uh… | 这很正常啊 |
| [05:58] | so should you. | 你也该高兴 |
| [06:00] | Oh, I’m not getting anything done. | 我不整容 |
| [06:02] | You’re not? | 不整吗 |
| [06:03] | Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were. | 抱歉 我以为你也想整容 |
| [06:06] | That’s ridiculous! | 太荒唐了 |
| [06:10] | Have you seen me? | 你没看清我的模样吗 |
| [06:12] | I don’t need anything done. | 我不需要整容 |
| [06:14] | I could make you look | 我可以让你看起来 |
| [06:15] | a little less tired, that’s all. | 少一点疲倦感 仅此而已 |
| [06:19] | Less–less tired? | 少一点疲倦感 |
| [06:21] | It wouldn’t take much. | 很简单的 |
| [06:22] | I look tired? | 我一脸倦容吗 |
| [06:23] | Hey, doc. | 医生 |
| [06:24] | What can you do for me? | 我哪里需要整整 |
| [06:27] | Oh, my god! | 上帝啊 |
| [06:30] | The symmetry of those cheekbones! | 如此对称的颧骨 |
| [06:33] | That chin… that aquiline nose… | 这下巴的线条 鹰钩鼻 |
| [06:36] | Stop! It tickles! | 别摸了 好痒 |
| [06:37] | Surgically speaking, this man is… | 从整形学角度讲 这个男人是 |
| [06:39] | perfect! | 极品花样美男 |
| [06:40] | – What? – But look at him! | -什么 -看看他那样儿 |
| [06:42] | His eyes don’t even open all the way. | 就没见他睁过眼 |
| [06:44] | You know something? You and I… | 知道吗 你和我就是 |
| [06:48] | we could be brothers. | 帅哥一家亲 |
| [06:54] | Would you look at this? | 看看这个 |
| [06:56] | I think I’ve found the perfect earlobe. | 我想我找到了完美的耳垂 |
| [06:58] | Is that a beaut? | 是不是很漂亮 |
| [06:59] | Is that a David Duchovny? | 这是大卫·杜楚尼吗 |
| [07:01] | No. It… | 不是 |
| [07:02] | it’s a Regis Philbin. | 这是里吉斯·菲尔宾 |
| [07:04] | Really? | 是嘛 |
| [07:05] | Nice lobes, Reege. | 耳垂真漂亮 老里同志 |
| [07:07] | I don’t know about this plastic surgery stuff, Dick. | 我对整容手术持怀疑态度 迪克 |
| [07:10] | I heard about a woman who had a face-lift once. | 我听说有个女人做了拉皮 |
| [07:13] | They pulled her skin so tight | 结果皮拉得太紧 |
| [07:16] | that she couldn’t blink. | 没法眨眼 |
| [07:18] | One morning, her eyes dried up | 某天早上 她的眼球干涸萎缩 |
| [07:21] | and fell into her raisin bran. | 掉进了她的葡萄干麦片里 |
| [07:25] | She gobbled them right down with the flakes. | 她就着麦片就吞下去了 |
| [07:30] | So she could, like, | 这么说她是 |
| [07:31] | watch herself eating her own eyeballs? | 看着自己吃下了自己的眼珠子 |
| [07:36] | What a horrible true story. | 多么可怕的真实故事 |
| [07:39] | Hey, guys! | 大家好 |
| [07:40] | What’s going on? | 做什么呢 |
| [07:42] | Oh, we’re looking for perfect facial features so Dick can | 我们在找完美的容貌特征 迪克可以 |
| [07:44] | show the doctor what he wants to look like. | 告诉医生他想变成什么样子 |
| [07:46] | And it just so happens | 碰巧 |
| [07:47] | that all the magazines that came out this month | 这月的杂志 |
| [07:49] | have beautiful people on their covers. | 封面上都是帅哥美女 |
| [07:51] | Talk about a coincidence. | 真是太巧了 |
| [08:01] | Hello, gentlemen. | 先生们 你们好 |
| [08:03] | Oh, it’s you again. | 又来了 |
| [08:13] | Hello there. | 你好呀 |
| [08:18] | I never noticed how handsome your uncle is. | 我从没注意到原来你叔叔这么帅 |
| [08:20] | Yeah, we know. | 我们知道 |
| [08:26] | Oh, good morning, Sally. | 早上好 莎莉 |
| [08:27] | Morning. | 早啊 |
| [08:28] | How’d you sleep? | 睡得好吗 |
| [08:30] | Why? Do I look tired? | 怎么了 我一脸倦容吗 |
| [08:33] | No. | 不是 |
| [08:34] | Then why are you asking me how I slept? | 那你为什么问我睡得好吗 |
| [08:36] | ‘Cause it’s morning. | 因为现在是大清早 |
| [08:39] | ‘Cause I look exhausted? | 因为我的样子很疲惫吗 |
| [08:41] | ‘Cause… you just woke up. | 因为 你刚刚起床 |
| [08:42] | Maybe you should go. | 你还是走吧 |
| [08:44] | But, Sally, I– | 可是 莎莉 |
| [08:46] | Please go. | 请你走吧 |
| [08:51] | Sally, I’m sorry about that whole sleep thing. | 莎莉 抱歉问你睡得好不好 |
| [08:56] | I was out of line. | 是我过分了 |
| [09:10] | Nina… | 尼娜 |
| [09:11] | I just want you to know that after my surgery, | 我要告诉你 在我手术之后 |
| [09:15] | I’m going to be devastatingly handsome. | 我会英俊到惊天地泣鬼神 |
| [09:19] | It’s going to be very difficult for you | 届时你将会十分痛苦 |
| [09:22] | to keep your hands off of me. | 看得到却吃不着 |
| [09:23] | Oh, really? | 是嘛 |
| [09:25] | But no matter how gorgeous I look, | 无论我变成何等的绝世美男 |
| [09:27] | it’ll still be me underneath, and, uh, | 但内在还是那个我 |
| [09:30] | I’m still not attracted to you. | 你依然对我没有诱惑力 |
| [09:34] | And I just want you to know | 我也要告诉你 |
| [09:36] | that if you never came out of anesthesia, | 如果你无法从麻醉中醒过来 |
| [09:38] | that that would be ok with me. | 我完全没意见 |
| [09:41] | Thank you. That is so sweet. | 谢谢 你真好 |
| [09:44] | You’re actually getting plastic surgery? | 你真的要做整容手术吗 |
| [09:47] | Yes, Mary. | 是的 玛丽 |
| [09:48] | Yeah. I’ve been thinking about this | 没错 我已经经过 |
| [09:50] | long and hard– | 深思熟虑了 |
| [09:51] | Well, not long, but hard… | 不够深思 但绝对熟虑了 |
| [09:54] | not even hard. | 半熟吧 |
| [09:56] | But why? | 为什么呀 |
| [09:58] | 2 words, Mary. | 两个字 玛丽 |
| [09:59] | You. | 你 |
| [10:05] | Me? | 我 |
| [10:06] | Oh, come on. Don’t play dumb. | 拜托 别装傻了 |
| [10:07] | You’re the one who said | 是你说 |
| [10:09] | you wished I looked like Harrison Ford. | 希望我长得像哈里森·福特 |
| [10:10] | I never said that! | 我从没说过这话 |
| [10:12] | Oh, please! If Harrison Ford and I | 得了吧 如果哈里森·福特和我 |
| [10:14] | were both standing in this room right now | 现在同时站在这屋里 |
| [10:15] | professing our undying love to you, | 向你表白 海枯石烂永不变心 |
| [10:17] | who would you choose? | 你会选谁 |
| [10:19] | – Don’t be silly– – Who?! | -别说傻话 -选谁 |
| [10:20] | Is he divorced? | 他离婚了吗 |
| [10:22] | You see? | 瞧你 |
| [10:23] | Dick… | 迪克 |
| [10:26] | This is the face I fell in love with, | 我爱上的是你这张脸 |
| [10:28] | and this is the face I’m still in love with. | 而且依然深深爱着 |
| [10:34] | Do you mean it? | 真心话吗 |
| [10:36] | I do. | 真心话 |
| [10:38] | Yeah. Nice try, Albright! | 别想着糊弄我 欧布莱特 |
| [10:49] | All right, Dick, you ready? | 好了 迪克 准备好了吗 |
| [10:55] | Good. | 很好 |
| [10:56] | Here we go. | 动手吧 |
| [11:16] | Good work, Tommy. | 做得好 汤米 |
| [11:17] | That’s exactly how I want you | 我手术后拆纱布 |
| [11:19] | to remove the gauze after my surgery. | 就是要这个样子 |
| [11:23] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [11:24] | You’re really gonna stop with the face? | 你只想整脸吗 |
| [11:26] | What do you mean? | 你什么意思 |
| [11:27] | Take off the robe. | 脱掉睡袍 |
| [11:28] | What? | 什么 |
| [11:29] | Take it off! | 脱掉 |
| [11:34] | What is that? | 这什么情况 |
| [11:36] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [11:37] | Well… first of all, | 首先 |
| [11:38] | this whole area | 这块地方 |
| [11:40] | needs to be sucked out. | 需要抽脂 |
| [11:42] | You think? | 有必要吗 |
| [11:43] | Who’s the handsomest guy here? | 这里谁最帅 |
| [11:45] | – You. – All right. | -你 -这不就结了 |
| [11:46] | And, uh… let’s not forget about | 还有 别忘了 |
| [11:48] | – the pectoral implants. – Yeah. | -胸肌植入 -没错 |
| [11:51] | Now, should we go in, uh… | 那么 应该是隆起 |
| [11:54] | through the armpits or the nipples? | 整个腋窝下呢 还是到乳头为止 |
| [11:59] | I’d remove the nipples. | 是我就会将乳头拿掉 |
| [12:01] | – Remove them completely? – In a second. | -完全拿掉吗 -一点不留 |
| [12:04] | Yeah, but then… I’d sew ’em back on… | 然后呢 我会缝回去 |
| [12:08] | up here. | 缝到这里 |
| [12:12] | Well…that’s not a little high? | 这样恐怕高了点吧 |
| [12:14] | No, no. They’ll extend the torso | 不会 这样对身体有拉长效果 |
| [12:17] | and make the whole package appear leaner. | 令整个人看起来更瘦 |
| [12:19] | – I see. – Well, if you’re gonna do that, | -明白了 -如果打算这样做 |
| [12:20] | you might as well put ’em up here. | 干脆缝到这里好了 |
| [12:22] | On the shoulders? | 缝到肩膀上吗 |
| [12:24] | – Why not? – I like it. | -有何不可 -我觉得不错 |
| [12:25] | That’s good. | 很好 |
| [12:26] | And let’s remove a couple ribs, shall we? | 不如连肋骨一起拿掉吧 |
| [12:28] | – I hate my ribs. – Mmm, yeah. Oh, and, uh… | -我讨厌自己的肋骨 -是啊 对了 |
| [12:31] | right about here. | 要加长到这里 |
| [12:35] | What’s that for? | 这是做什么 |
| [12:36] | That’s for later. | 下半辈子的性福啊 |
| [12:44] | Unbelievable. Look at all these magazines. | 难以置信 看这些杂志 |
| [12:46] | Everything revolves around the beautiful people. | 来来去去全是俊男美女 |
| [12:49] | They have it all. I mean… | 真是太漂亮了 |
| [12:51] | How are the rest of us supposed to compete? | 我们这种程度怎么跟人家比啊 |
| [12:53] | Well, you got a big hunk of celery in your teeth, | 你牙齿缝里残留了一块芹菜 |
| [12:55] | – and that won’t help. – Thanks. | -这样更没法跟人家比 -多谢 |
| [12:58] | Look at this. | 看这个 |
| [12:59] | Every beautiful woman is with a beautiful guy. | 所有美女都是配俊男 |
| [13:01] | Yeah, we do tend to gravitate to our own kind. | 我们的确更倾向于选择自己的同类 |
| [13:06] | Man, how did a gorgeous guy like Don | 天哪 像唐那种超级大帅哥 |
| [13:09] | end up with a double-bagger like me? | 怎么会委身于我这种丑婆娘 |
| [13:12] | It’s a brain-teaser. | 这是个”脑筋急转弯”问题 |
| [13:16] | It’s wrong. | 这样不对 |
| [13:18] | It is wrong, Harry. | 这样不对 哈里 |
| [13:20] | I mean, this– | 我意思是 |
| [13:21] | this is the life Don should be living. | 这才是唐应该过的生活 |
| [13:24] | He should be the dude | 他应该是这男的 |
| [13:26] | with the hot babe on his shoulders, | 肩靠大美女 |
| [13:28] | and he should be on the jet-ski | 他应该骑着水上摩托艇 |
| [13:30] | with a menthol cigarette in his mouth… | 嘴叼薄荷烟 |
| [13:32] | but he’s not. | 但他没有 |
| [13:34] | Because I’m draggin’ him down. | 因为我拖累了他 |
| [13:37] | I’m draggin’ my beautiful Donny down. | 我拖累了我家小帅哥唐唐 |
| [13:40] | Mmm. You know, I didn’t want to say anything, | 我不想打击你 |
| [13:41] | but you totally are. | 但你真拖累人家了 |
| [13:44] | Thanks, Harry. | 谢谢 哈里 |
| [13:46] | Now I know what to do. | 现在我知道该怎么做了 |
| [13:48] | All right, we’ll see you later. | 好了 回头见了 |
| [13:51] | Well, hello. | 你好呀 |
| [14:03] | Dick, be ready for you in a few minutes. | 迪克 马上就可以开始了 |
| [14:06] | – Are you nervous? – Well, a little. | -你紧张吗 -有一点点 |
| [14:09] | Don’t be. | 不用紧张 |
| [14:10] | Plastic surgery is going to improve your life. | 整容手术会提升你的生活质量 |
| [14:12] | – It did mine. – You had plastic surgery? | -反正我的提升了 -你做过整容手术吗 |
| [14:15] | Oh, no. | 没有 |
| [14:17] | But it did buy me a yacht. | 但我的游艇是靠这个挣来的 |
| [14:24] | Well, old face, | 你这张老脸 |
| [14:26] | this is the last time I’ll be seeing you. | 这是我最后一次见你了 |
| [14:28] | I’d say good-bye, | 我想说再见 |
| [14:29] | but good riddance is more like it. | 但”终于不用再见”更恰当些 |
| [14:34] | Look at this forehead. | 看这额头 |
| [14:35] | All mottled and wrinkled | 遍布斑点 爬满皱纹 |
| [14:37] | from years of tortured thoughts and… | 都怪经年累月的动脑筋 |
| [14:40] | and gentle ruminations. | 睿智冥想 |
| [14:43] | I’m certainly not going to miss that. | 我不会怀念这些的 |
| [14:45] | Or this chin, for that matter, | 还有这个下巴 |
| [14:48] | all scratched and scarred | 伤痕累累 |
| [14:50] | from shaving in a rush so often, | 因为我经常匆匆忙忙地刮胡子 |
| [14:52] | trying to get to work on time or… | 以免上班迟到 |
| [14:54] | or to Mary’s house… | 或是赶着去玛丽家 |
| [14:57] | to pick her up for a date. I remember this one. | 接她去约会 我记得这个 |
| [15:00] | I was rushing off to take her on a picnic. | 我急着接她去野餐 |
| [15:03] | It started to rain, | 结果下雨了 |
| [15:06] | so we had to eat wet tuna sandwiches | 我们吃着湿湿的金枪鱼三明治 |
| [15:08] | in an outhouse. | 躲在公共厕所里 |
| [15:11] | That was so nice. | 美好的回忆 |
| [15:14] | So, good-bye, old chin. | 再见了 旧下巴 |
| [15:16] | You’ll be facing the laser soon. | 你很快就会被激光处理掉了 |
| [15:18] | And good-bye to you, old nose. | 再见了 旧鼻子 |
| [15:21] | And take care, old ears. | 保重 旧耳朵 |
| [15:24] | And you, too, old lips. | 好好珍重 旧嘴唇 |
| [15:29] | And take care of yourselves…eyes. | 照顾好自己 旧眼睛 |
| [15:35] | Oh, my god. | 我的天 |
| [15:37] | What am I doing? | 我这是做什么 |
| [15:40] | All right, Dick, we’re ready for you now. | 迪克 我们已经准备好了 |
| [15:42] | Well, we’re not ready for you! | 我没有准备好 |
| [15:44] | – What? – I’m not gonna change this face! | -什么 -我才不要改变这张脸呢 |
| [15:46] | This face is a scrapbook | 这张脸是纪念 |
| [15:48] | dedicated to who I am, damn it! | 我人生的剪贴簿 见鬼 |
| [15:51] | And, by god, I’m gorgeous! | 上帝为证 我帅呆了 |
| [15:56] | No! You’re not! | 不 你丑死了 |
| [15:58] | Screw you! | 去死吧你 |
| [16:10] | Don! | 唐 |
| [16:14] | Hey, Sally. | 来啦 莎莉 |
| [16:16] | Can I talk to you for a second? | 我能跟你聊两句吗 |
| [16:19] | Sure. What’s goin’ on? | 没问题 怎么了 |
| [16:23] | I think you know. | 我觉得你知道 |
| [16:24] | I think you’ve known for a long time. | 我觉得你已经知道很久了 |
| [16:28] | I really don’t. | 我真不知道 |
| [16:31] | Come on, Don. Stop pretending. | 得了吧 唐 别装糊涂了 |
| [16:33] | You and I both know | 你我都知道 |
| [16:34] | that a relationship cannot last | 这样的感情是无法长久的 |
| [16:37] | when one of the people looks like me… | 因为一方是像我这样的人 |
| [16:39] | and the other looks like you. | 而另一方却是你这样的 |
| [16:41] | Damn it! I knew one day you’d wake up | 靠 我就知道有天你会清醒 |
| [16:44] | and realize what was goin’ on. | 意识到自己在做什么 |
| [16:46] | Don’t kick yourself, Donny. | 别自责 唐唐 |
| [16:48] | We gave it our best shot. | 我们都尽了最大努力 |
| [16:49] | I thought we were beyond looks, Sally. | 咱们不是不看重外表吗 莎莉 |
| [16:51] | Come on, Don. Look at you. | 拜托 唐 看看你自己 |
| [16:54] | How could we get beyond that? | 怎么可能不看重外表 |
| [17:00] | Yeah, I guess so. | 我想也是 |
| [17:02] | Don’t get me wrong. | 别误会 |
| [17:04] | I appreciate your kindness. | 我很感激你这么善良 |
| [17:08] | Not many men would hang in there | 没有多少男人愿意 |
| [17:09] | with a gal as unattractive as me. | 和我这么丑的女人在一起 |
| [17:13] | What? | 什么 |
| [17:16] | Don’t make me spell it out for you, Don. | 别逼我说得那么直白 唐 |
| [17:18] | I know I’m as ugly as they come. | 我知道自己很丑 |
| [17:19] | I don’t even know how you can stand to look at me. | 我都不知道你怎能忍受看着我 |
| [17:32] | Well, Sally, I’m not gonna lie to ya. | 莎莉 那我就实话实说了吧 |
| [17:36] | It’s been hard. | 很难忍受 |
| [17:38] | It’s been a real struggle. | 我挣扎得很痛苦 |
| [17:40] | And granted, we’ll continue to get stares out in public, | 即使 我们在公众前依然会扎眼 |
| [17:44] | but…that’s a price I’m willing to pay… | 但 这是我愿意付出的代价 |
| [17:48] | because I love you. | 因为我爱你 |
| [17:56] | Oh, Donny! | 唐唐 |
| [17:58] | Thank you! Thank you! | 谢谢你 谢谢 |
| [18:07] | Well, Mary, what do you think? | 玛丽 你觉得怎么样 |
| [18:09] | You didn’t get anything done. | 你什么也没整呀 |
| [18:11] | No. Look, Mary, I know how much | 没有 玛丽 我知道 |
| [18:14] | you wanted me to have that surgery. | 你有多想让我去整容 |
| [18:16] | – I never wanted you– – No, no! | -从没希望过 -别说了 |
| [18:18] | But when I got in there, I realized this face… | 可当我身处那里时 我意识到这张脸 |
| [18:21] | is my face! | 是我的脸 |
| [18:23] | It’s like a museum of my life, | 是我人生的博物馆 |
| [18:25] | especially my life with you. | 尤其是和你在一起的人生 |
| [18:27] | So, if you’ve grown tired | 所以 如果你已经厌倦了 |
| [18:28] | of this dusty, drafty old museum, | 这灰尘遍地满屋漏风的老博物馆 |
| [18:31] | maybe you should just go to the Guggenheim. | 那你就去找你的古根海姆博物馆吧 |
| [18:35] | Oh, Dick, Dick… | 迪克 迪克 |
| [18:37] | I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there myself. | 我知道你的感受 我自己也有切身体会 |
| [18:41] | You have? | 你有吗 |
| [18:42] | Yes, as a matter of fact, | 是的 事实上 |
| [18:44] | a few years ago, I– | 几年前 我… |
| [18:46] | I was thinking about having some work done on… | 我曾考虑去整整 |
| [18:49] | my nose. | 我的鼻子 |
| [18:51] | Your nose? | 你的鼻子 |
| [18:52] | Yes, I thought if it was just a little longer– | 是啊 我觉得如果再长点的话 |
| [18:55] | No, no, but I love your nose. | 不用 我爱你的鼻子 |
| [18:56] | You do? | 真的吗 |
| [18:58] | The way it scrunches up when you smile. | 你笑的时候堆的全是皱纹 |
| [19:01] | It really does? | 真的吗 |
| [19:03] | And those ears… | 还有你的耳朵 |
| [19:06] | I love it when you let me nibble on them. | 你让我咬的时候我尤其喜欢 |
| [19:11] | I kinda like that, too. | 我也挺喜欢的 |
| [19:13] | And those eyes… | 还有你的眼睛 |
| [19:15] | like 2 clear blue windows | 是我见过最深邃的 |
| [19:17] | into the deepest soul I’ve ever known. | 两扇幽蓝清澈的心灵窗户 |
| [19:21] | Oh, Dick. | 迪克 |
| [19:24] | Oh, Mary. | 玛丽 |
| [19:27] | Sorry about the lights. My coffee maker blew a circuit. | 抱歉灯灭了 我的咖啡机把保险丝烧了 |
| [19:30] | I’m going to check the breaker. | 我去看看断路器 |
| [19:38] | My god, you’re beautiful. | 我的天 你真美 |
| [19:40] | So are you. | 你也很美 |
| [19:42] | Yeah, I know. | 是啊 我知道 |
| [19:51] | You know they say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, | 俗话说 各花入各眼 |
| [19:54] | when in reality, | 但在现实中 |
| [19:55] | it’s in the eye of the beholdee. | 花儿要懂得自我欣赏 |
| [19:58] | Well, what are you saying? If I think I’m attractive, | 你什么意思 如果我觉得自己很帅气 |
| [20:01] | I actually am? | 我就真的帅了吗 |
| [20:02] | No, Tommy, not you. Me. | 汤米 不是你 是我 |
| [20:05] | Not you. | 不是你 |
| [20:07] | You know what I realized? | 知道我意识到什么吗 |
| [20:10] | It’s not important what you look like. | 外表并不重要 |
| [20:13] | What’s important is who you are on the inside. | 内在才是最重要的 |
| [20:19] | That’s hilarious! | 太搞笑了 |
| [20:21] | Where’d you hear that, Leno? | 哪里听到的 莱诺说的吗 |
| [20:22] | No, no, I made it up myself. I swear! | 我发誓 我自己瞎编的 |
| [20:24] | – You should write for Leno. – I know! | -你应该去为莱诺写台词啊 -就是啊 |
| [20:31] | Well, I, for one, am tired of being handsome. | 至于我嘛 已经厌倦当帅哥了 |
| [20:35] | You know, all people see when they look at me | 大家看到我时 都觉得我 |
| [20:37] | is a pretty face, | 只有一张帅脸 |
| [20:39] | and then they end up treating me like I’m an idiot. | 结果都把我当白痴 |
| [20:41] | You are an idiot. | 你本来就是白痴 |
| [20:43] | See? That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Forget it. | 看见没 就是这种情况 算了吧 |
| [20:46] | I’m not gonna be handsome anymore. | 我不要再当帅哥了 |
| [20:48] | You can’t just stop being handsome, Harry. | 哪能想不帅就不帅呢 哈里 |
| [20:51] | Oh, no? | 不行吗 |