| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Okay, I got it. Here we go. | 弄好了 开始吧 |
| [00:06] | Sally! Harry! | 莎莉 哈里 |
| [00:08] | Sally! | 莎莉 |
| [00:09] | I have terrible news! | 我有坏消息 |
| [00:10] | Dick, get in the picture. | 迪克 一起来拍照 |
| [00:19] | I didn’t know our camera had a self-timer. | 我不知道我们的相机还有自拍功能 |
| [00:22] | What’s a self-timer? | 自拍功能是什么 |
| [00:25] | Oh, for God’s sake, never mind! | 天哪 算了 |
| [00:26] | I have some terrible news! | 我有坏消息 |
| [00:28] | Liam was gonna go through with his plan | 廉姆准备实施他的计划 |
| [00:30] | to turn Earth into Planet Monkey World, | 把地球变成星球猴子世界 |
| [00:32] | so I had to use his own weapon | 所以我只好用他自己的武器 |
| [00:34] | to turn him into a chimp! | 把他变成了黑猩猩 |
| [00:35] | Oh, my God. | 天哪 |
| [00:36] | You chimpified Liam? | 你把廉姆变成了黑猩猩 |
| [00:38] | Yes! | 对 |
| [00:39] | But that’s not the worst part. | 这还不算最糟的 |
| [00:40] | Mary saw me do it! She witnessed something alien! | 玛丽目睹了全过程 她看到了外星事物 |
| [00:43] | There is no good way to explain what she saw. | 没办法给她解释她所看到的 |
| [00:46] | Okay, okay. | 好了 好了 |
| [00:48] | Okay, damage control, you guys. | 防止事态恶化 伙计们 |
| [00:50] | We have to normalize the situation. | 我们必须挽回到正常局面 |
| [00:52] | But how? | 可怎么做呢 |
| [00:54] | What if we… chimpify everyone in… | 不如我们把每个乌克兰人 |
| [00:59] | say, the Ukraine? | 都变成黑猩猩 |
| [01:02] | We tell Albright that Liam is Ukrainian. | 我们告诉欧布莱特 廉姆是个乌克兰人 |
| [01:06] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [01:07] | And it finally caught up with him. | 他终于变身了 |
| [01:09] | Yeah! It’s settled! | 对 就这么定了 |
| [01:11] | – Tonight, we fly to Kiev. – Wait, wait. | -今晚我们就飞基辅 -等等 等等 |
| [01:13] | That’s, like, a 12-hour flight. | 那得坐个12小时的飞机吧 |
| [01:15] | Yeah, and you have to connect through Warsaw. | 对 还得在华沙转机 |
| [01:17] | It’s a bitch. | 特别烦人 |
| [01:18] | Mmm, yeah. | 是啊 |
| [01:20] | Once you get there, | 等你到了那边 |
| [01:20] | you lost the whole day. | 一天就这么没了[时差导致] |
| [01:22] | Ooh! I have a better idea! | 我有个更好的主意 |
| [01:25] | Why don’t you just deny it | 不如你索性矢口否认 |
| [01:27] | and then act like it never happened? | 然后装作若无其事的样子 |
| [01:31] | That’s right. Deny. | 没错 否认 |
| [01:33] | Good idea. | 好主意 |
| [01:35] | And we have a kick-ass Ukrainian Plan B. | 而且我们还有个绝妙的乌克兰人备用计划 |
| [02:16] | Nina, please, I need to talk to you in person. | 尼娜 拜托 我需要和你见面谈谈 |
| [02:19] | I think there might be something wrong with Dick. | 我觉得迪克可能有问题 |
| [02:23] | I–I think I might be in danger. | 我觉得我可能有危险 |
| [02:26] | No, I have not been watching old movies. | 不 我没在看老电影 |
| [02:30] | Yes, I have been drinking. | 对 我一直在喝酒 |
| [02:34] | Oh, my God! There’s somebody at the door! | 天啊 有人敲门 |
| [02:35] | Please stay on the line. | 求你别挂电话 |
| [02:51] | Dick! Hi! | 迪克 你好 |
| [02:52] | How are ya? Good to see ya! | 你好吗 真高兴见到你 |
| [02:53] | Hello. How ya doin’? Everything okay? | 你好 你怎么样 一切都好吗 |
| [02:55] | – Yeah, yeah. – Mind if I come in? | -是啊 是啊 -我可以进来吗 |
| [02:56] | No, no. Why–why– why would I? | 不不 为什么不可以 |
| [02:59] | Well, I guess you shouldn’t. | 我想也应该可以 |
| [03:01] | You are my girlfriend, aren’t you? | 你是我的女友 不是吗 |
| [03:03] | Sure I am. | 我是啊 |
| [03:04] | Have been for a long, long time. | 我都做了好久了 |
| [03:07] | I’ve been good to you. | 我一直都对你很好 |
| [03:11] | Mary, were you talking on the telephone? | 玛丽 你是在通电话吗 |
| [03:13] | No, no, no. | 没没没 |
| [03:14] | There’s no dial tone. | 没有拨号音 |
| [03:16] | H-Hello? | 喂 |
| [03:18] | Nina! | 尼娜 |
| [03:19] | No, e-everything’s fine here. | 没 这里一切都好 |
| [03:21] | Yeah, like it always is here. | 这里一直都很好 |
| [03:24] | Tell her, Mary. | 告诉她 玛丽 |
| [03:25] | Just like he says, everything’s fine. | 就像他说的 一切都好 |
| [03:29] | Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her. | 别担心 我会照顾好她[有干掉的意思] |
| [03:33] | So, I, uh… I guess you were talking on the phone, huh? | 我想 你刚才是在通电话了 |
| [03:37] | T-To Nina. | 和尼娜 |
| [03:38] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [03:40] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [03:41] | I guess I forgot. | 我好像忘了 |
| [03:43] | You forgot, huh? | 你忘了 |
| [03:48] | Oh, well, this sure has been | 这一天对我们而言 |
| [03:50] | a normal day for us, huh? | 真是寻常的很 |
| [03:53] | – I’ll see ya! – Yeah, bye! | -回见 -好 再见 |
| [03:55] | I’ll drive safely! | 我会安全驾驶 |
| [03:55] | Yes, please! | 好 一定哦 |
| [04:05] | Oh, my God! Look at this place! | 天啊 看这地方 |
| [04:08] | Yeah, there must have been a robbery here. | 是啊 一定发生了抢劫 |
| [04:10] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [04:12] | I’m gonna go with murder. | 我猜是凶杀 |
| [04:13] | – No way. Robbery. – Murder. | -不可能 是抢劫 -凶杀 |
| [04:14] | – Robbery. – Murder! | -抢劫 -凶杀 |
| [04:15] | Robbery! | 抢劫 |
| [04:16] | You know what? Let’s not argue about it. | 这样吧 我们别争了 |
| [04:18] | Hopefully, we’re both right, okay? | 希望我们都猜对了 好吧 |
| [04:20] | Hey, Rico, what’s goin’ on here? | 瑞克 这里出了什么事 |
| [04:22] | There’s been a robbery. | 有人抢劫 |
| [04:23] | – Aw, damn! – Yeah! | -该死 -好诶 |
| [04:25] | Yeah, but don’t worry. We got the guy. | 不过别担心 我们抓到人了 |
| [04:27] | Cool. Is Don here? | 真棒 唐在这里吗 |
| [04:28] | No, he, uh, took a sick day | 不 他请了病假 |
| [04:29] | to catch up on his soaps. | 追肥皂剧去了 |
| [04:32] | I’ll take over from here, Rico. | 这里交给我吧 瑞克 |
| [04:39] | Name? | 名字 |
| [04:41] | Sam. | 山姆 |
| [04:42] | Sam. | 山姆 |
| [04:44] | Was your boyfriend one of the robbers, Sam? | 你男友参与抢劫了吗 山姆 |
| [04:47] | I don’t have a boyfriend. | 我没有男友 |
| [04:48] | Doesn’t have a boyfriend. | 没有男友 |
| [04:51] | Pot Pies, Belly Stuffers, Breakfast in Seconds… | 菜肉馅饼 肉卷 速成早餐 |
| [04:56] | Ah, here we are. Pizza. | 找到了 披萨 |
| [05:02] | Don? | 唐 |
| [05:04] | What are you doing in there? | 你在这里面干什么 |
| [05:05] | I’m I-inspecting. Yeah. | 我在检查呢 对 |
| [05:07] | Uh, yep, these frozens are up to code. | 没错 这些冷冻食品符合规定 |
| [05:10] | Good work, people! | 干得好 各位 |
| [05:12] | Now, one last thing. | 最后一件事 |
| [05:14] | Tomorrow night, you wanna go out on a date? | 明晚你想出去约会吗 |
| [05:17] | How ’bout 9? | 九[点]怎么样 |
| [05:18] | Slow down there. Let’s try one. | 别着急 先试试一对一 |
| [05:21] | See how it goes. | 看看进展如何 |
| [05:23] | So, if you knew you were gonna be on freezer duty, | 如果你知道要在冰柜里值班 |
| [05:25] | why didn’t you dress for it? | 为什么不穿厚点 |
| [05:27] | Cold doesn’t bother me. | 我不怕冷 |
| [05:30] | Then why are you shaking? | 那你为什么在发抖 |
| [05:31] | Why am I shaking? | 我为什么在发抖 |
| [05:33] | I’m shaking because there was a robbery. | 我发抖是因为发生了抢劫 |
| [05:36] | There’s no such thing as freezer duty. | 根本不存在什么冰柜值班 |
| [05:39] | What? | 什么 |
| [05:40] | I–I was hidin’ from the bad guy. | 我在躲那个劫匪 |
| [05:43] | I’m a coward. | 我是个懦夫 |
| [05:45] | No. | 不 |
| [05:46] | That’s why I joined the force. | 这就是我当警察的原因 |
| [05:49] | All those cops around, I thought I’d feel safe. | 周围都是警察 我觉得会有安全感 |
| [05:59] | Thanks for coming out with me. | 谢谢你们和我出来 |
| [06:00] | Purge your soul, and let’s flag down a waitress. | 酒肉穿肠过 我们叫服务员点单吧 |
| [06:03] | I think there might be something wrong with Dick. | 我觉得迪克可能有问题 |
| [06:09] | I think I might be in danger. | 我觉得我可能有危险 |
| [06:15] | I think she’s ready for the talk. | 我觉得她能接受这次谈话了 |
| [06:19] | We’ve always been suspicious of Dr. Solomon. | 我们一直在怀疑所罗门教授 |
| [06:22] | Secretive about his past, speaks many languages, | 他对过去绝口不提 会说多国语言 |
| [06:25] | pretends not to understand anything. | 还装成什么也不懂的模样 |
| [06:28] | What are you saying? He has another identity? | 你在说什么 他有双重身份吗 |
| [06:30] | Yes. I think “Stupid college professor” | 对 我觉得”白痴大学教授” |
| [06:33] | is just a front. | 只是个幌子 |
| [06:36] | I think he’s a stupid international terrorist. | 我觉得他是个白痴国际恐怖分子 |
| [06:40] | Face facts, Mary. | 面对现实吧 玛丽 |
| [06:42] | Dick Solomon fits the classic profile | 迪克·所罗门符合连环杀手的 |
| [06:44] | of a serial killer. | 典型特征 |
| [06:46] | A serial killer? | 连环杀手 |
| [06:48] | Moody, high forehead. | 情绪化 高额头 |
| [06:51] | Lives in an old lady’s attic. | 住在一个老妇人的阁楼上 |
| [06:54] | Only one piece of the puzzle missing: | 现在拼图就差一块了 |
| [06:57] | your head in a box. | 你的脑袋装在盒里 |
| [07:06] | Hey, cutie. | 帅哥 |
| [07:07] | Hey, Sam. | 山姆 |
| [07:08] | No, no, no, no, no. | 不不不 |
| [07:09] | Sam works at the supermarket, | 山姆在超市工作 |
| [07:11] | but this place tries to be a little fancy, so… | 这个地方更讲究格调 所以… |
| [07:13] | “Samantha” works here. | 在这里叫”萨曼莎” |
| [07:17] | Well, wait a second. | 等等 |
| [07:18] | So there’s you, and then there’s Sam. | 这里有个你 那里有个山姆 |
| [07:22] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [07:23] | Well, it’s a good thing you’re both workin’. | 你俩都有工作真好 |
| [07:26] | 9:00 is good? | 九点可以吧 |
| [07:28] | For what? | 什么事 |
| [07:30] | We’re goin’ out. | 我们要约会啊 |
| [07:31] | Wow, Samantha, you a take-charge kind of girl, huh? | 萨曼莎 你还真是够主动的 |
| [07:35] | Well, okay, but– | 好吧 可… |
| [07:36] | Oh, 9’s no good. I got plans. | 九点不行 我还有约 |
| [07:38] | How ’bout 7? | 七点怎么样 |
| [07:41] | – Um…okay. – Okay. | -好吧 -好 |
| [07:42] | – I’ll be there at 7. – Okay. | -我七点到 -好 |
| [07:46] | Hi. Table for two? | 你好 两位吗 |
| [07:48] | Right this way. | 这边请 |
| [07:51] | Hot damn, I’m datin’ twins. | 嘿 我要和双胞胎约会了 |
| [08:01] | Hello, Mary. | 你好 玛丽 |
| [08:04] | What are you doing at my desk? | 你在我桌前干什么 |
| [08:07] | I’m looking for some information about you. | 我在找你的相关信息 |
| [08:09] | About me? What’s to know? | 我的相关信息 要查什么 |
| [08:13] | Dick, why don’t you ever talk about your childhood? | 迪克 你怎么从来没谈起过童年 |
| [08:16] | How come I’ve never met your parents? | 我怎么从来没见过你父母 |
| [08:18] | Well, I told them all about you, Mary, | 你的情况我都跟他们说了 玛丽 |
| [08:20] | and they didn’t want to meet you. | 他们不想见你 |
| [08:26] | Well, what are their names? | 他们叫什么名字 |
| [08:28] | Where–Where are their pictures, | 他们的照片呢 |
| [08:30] | some mementos? | 有点纪念品吧 |
| [08:31] | Uh, well… okay, Mary. | 好吧 玛丽 |
| [08:34] | Uh, this is my father’s lucky one-dollar bill. | 这是我父亲的幸运面钞 |
| [08:38] | And, um… | 还有 |
| [08:39] | and this pencil was given to my mother by Babe Ruth. | 这支铅笔是巴比·鲁斯送我母亲的 |
| [08:42] | See his number? Number two. | 看到他的号码了吧 二号 |
| [08:48] | I was gonna pass that on to my son, when I had one! | 等我有儿子的时候 我还准备传给他呢 |
| [08:51] | You have a son! Tommy. | 你有个儿子 叫汤米 |
| [08:54] | Oh! Right. | 对 |
| [08:58] | Dick, I think you’ve been hiding something from me, | 迪克 我觉得你有事瞒着我 |
| [09:00] | and I think you’ve been hiding it from me for 6 years. | 而且我觉得你已经瞒了我六年 |
| [09:02] | Oh, what makes you say that? | 你怎么会这么说 |
| [09:05] | I saw you turn a man into a monkey! | 我看到你把一个男人变成了猴子 |
| [09:09] | Actually, it was a chimpanzee. | 其实那是只黑猩猩 |
| [09:11] | And it never happened. | 而且压根没这回事 |
| [09:13] | That’s it! No more covers! No more lies! | 够了 别再找借口了 别再说谎了 |
| [09:16] | I don’t know who you are! I don’t know what you are! | 我不知道你是谁 不知道你是什么人 |
| [09:19] | All I know is that I– | 我只知道我… |
| [09:20] | I can’t see you anymore. | 我不能再见你了 |
| [09:22] | Good-bye, Dick. | 再见 迪克 |
| [09:26] | Mary, wait! | 玛丽 等等 |
| [09:32] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:37] | Look, I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time. | 这么久以来我一直都想向你坦白 |
| [09:41] | This is hard. | 这事难以启齿 |
| [09:43] | I want to make sure I say it right. | 我想确保我能正确地表达 |
| [09:45] | It’s okay. | 没事的 |
| [09:46] | Mary, I’m– | 玛丽 我是… |
| [09:48] | What rhymes with “Shmalien”? | 什么词和”歪星人”押韵 |
| [09:50] | Oh, forget it! | 算了吧 |
| [09:51] | Mary! I… Dick Solomon… | 玛丽 我 迪克·所罗门 |
| [09:55] | am an alien. | 是个外星人 |
| [09:59] | From outer space. | 来自外太空 |
| [10:16] | Where am I? | 我在哪里 |
| [10:18] | And what’s going on? | 发生了什么事 |
| [10:19] | You lied so much, you passed out. | 你撒谎太多 昏过去了 |
| [10:24] | Mary… | 玛丽 |
| [10:26] | it’s true. | 这是真的 |
| [10:29] | I’m the High Commander of an exploratory mission | 我是一次考察行动的总指挥官 |
| [10:33] | that came to Earth 6 years ago | 我们六年前来地球 |
| [10:35] | to study mankind. | 研究人类 |
| [10:40] | Does your family know about this? | 你家人知道这事吗 |
| [10:44] | We’re not a family. We’re a unit. | 我们不是一家人 我们是个小组 |
| [10:48] | Tommy is the information officer. | 汤米是信息官 |
| [10:49] | Sally is the security officer. | 莎莉是安全官 |
| [10:51] | And Harry has an enormous transmitter in his head. | 哈里的脑袋里有个巨大的信息传输机 |
| [10:55] | Oh, that’s impossible! | 胡说八道 |
| [10:58] | Except for the Harry part. | 除了哈里是真的 |
| [11:03] | Open your mind. | 好好想想 |
| [11:06] | Think about everything you don’t know about me. | 想想你不了解我的每件事 |
| [11:09] | And then think about everything you do know. | 再想想你了解我的每件事 |
| [11:13] | Think about how… | 想想怎么会 |
| [11:14] | every single time something happens, | 每次有事发生 |
| [11:17] | it’s like I’m learning it for the first time… | 我都好像是第一次学习 |
| [11:19] | like a child. | 就像个孩子 |
| [11:21] | Mary, think about our entire 6-year relationship… | 玛丽 在假设你知道我是外星人的前提下 |
| [11:25] | knowing that I’m an alien. | 再想想我们这六年来的关系 |
| [12:01] | You are an alien. | 你的确是个外星人 |
| [12:04] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [12:05] | Why didn’t I see this before? | 我怎么之前没发觉 |
| [12:09] | Because you’re only human. | 因为你只是个人类 |
| [12:17] | Don? | 唐 |
| [12:19] | What’s with the police tape surrounding your house? | 你家周围怎么拉起了警戒线 |
| [12:24] | I’m not in the mood for company. | 我现在没心情找人聊天 |
| [12:26] | I’m a coward. | 我是个懦夫 |
| [12:28] | All right. Now, you listen to me, Donald Leslie Orville. | 你给我听好了 唐·莱丝利·奥维尔 |
| [12:31] | Ever since I have known you, | 自打我认识你 |
| [12:33] | you have gone out there every day and done your job, | 即便你吓得要死 |
| [12:35] | even though you’re scared to death. | 依然每天在外尽职尽责 |
| [12:37] | There’s only one word for that kind of coward. | 只有一个词形容这种懦夫 |
| [12:40] | Brave! | 勇敢 |
| [12:42] | I never thought of that. | 我从没想过这点 |
| [12:44] | Well, think again. | 那就再想想 |
| [12:46] | And you know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [12:47] | Now that you’ve been honest with yourself… | 既然你完全正视了自己 |
| [12:50] | you have the power | 那就有了力量 |
| [12:52] | to be the man you’ve always wanted to be… | 做你一直想做的男人 |
| [12:55] | the man you deserve to be. | 做你配做的男人 |
| [12:58] | The man… | 做个 |
| [13:00] | I fell in love with. | 我爱上的男人 |
| [13:04] | I feel like I can go back out in the world and start again. | 我觉得我能回到现实从头来过 |
| [13:08] | I can always tape my soaps! | 我可以录下肥皂剧回家再看 |
| [13:14] | Thank you, Sally. | 谢谢你 莎莉 |
| [13:15] | My pleasure. | 我很荣幸 |
| [13:17] | Now…that’s my boy. | 这才像样嘛 |
| [13:22] | What? Uh… did I poke you? | 什么 我戳到你了吗 |
| [13:24] | No, it’s just cold against my skin. | 没 只是碰到我皮肤感觉好冷 |
| [13:35] | So check it out, Doobie. | 看看吧 杜布 |
| [13:38] | I got two of everything. | 我都准备了两份 |
| [13:42] | For the twins. | 给双胞胎 |
| [13:44] | I once dated twins. | 我也曾和双胞胎交往过 |
| [13:46] | It was so confusing, | 太难认清了 |
| [13:48] | especially when they dress alike. | 尤其是他们穿着一样的时候 |
| [13:50] | Twins dress alike? | 双胞胎穿着一样 |
| [13:52] | Well, these did. They were the Minnesota Twins. | 这两个是 他们是明尼苏达双城棒球队的 |
| [13:57] | Hello! | 有人吗 |
| [13:58] | Oh! It’s 7:00. | 七点了 |
| [14:00] | That must be Samantha. | 一定是萨曼莎 |
| [14:02] | She’s the posh one. | 她是时髦的那个 |
| [14:03] | But I think she might be the most naughty. | 不过我觉得她可能会很”淘气” |
| [14:17] | Sam! It’s you! | 山姆 是你 |
| [14:20] | You’re early! | 你来早了 |
| [14:21] | Well, maybe a little bit. | 或许是早了点 |
| [14:22] | Is that a problem? | 有问题吗 |
| [14:27] | No! Not at all. | 没 毫无问题 |
| [14:29] | Here! Let me show you around. | 来 我带你转转 |
| [14:31] | This is the living room. | 这里是客厅 |
| [14:32] | This is the kitchen. | 这里是厨房 |
| [14:33] | And this is the bathroom. Here ya go. | 这里是洗手间 进去吧 |
| [14:35] | Why dontcha go in there. | 你就进去吧 |
| [14:39] | Oh, great. Now I have to go to the bathroom. | 这下可好 我急着要上洗手间 |
| [14:47] | Dick? | 迪克 |
| [14:49] | When you came to Earth… | 当你来到地球 |
| [14:51] | was I your first? | 我是你的第一个吗 |
| [14:53] | Uh, no. I was. | 不 我才是 |
| [14:57] | But you were a very distant second. | 但你遥居第二 |
| [15:01] | I can’t believe I’m– | 不敢相信我… |
| [15:04] | If I told my mother I was dating an alien, | 我要是告诉我妈 我在和一个外星人约会 |
| [15:06] | it would kill her. | 准会吓死她的 |
| [15:09] | Dick! Let’s call her. | 迪克 我们打给她吧 |
| [15:10] | No! No, no, no, no! Mary, no! | 不不不 玛丽 别 |
| [15:12] | – Oh, I’m sorry. – It’s a secret. | -抱歉 -这是个秘密 |
| [15:15] | I’m just so excited. I have so many questions! | 我实在是太激动了 我有好多问题 |
| [15:17] | Well, go ahead! | 那就问吧 |
| [15:19] | Did you build the pyramids? | 是你们建造了金字塔吗 |
| [15:21] | Only the one in Las Vegas. | 只造了拉斯维加斯那个 |
| [15:23] | What about Easter Island? | 复活节岛呢 |
| [15:24] | Easter Island was a practical joke that got out of hand. | 复活节岛只是个失控了的恶作剧 |
| [15:29] | I can’t believe my boyfriend’s an alien! | 真不敢相信我男友是个外星人 |
| [15:35] | Dick… | 迪克 |
| [15:37] | on your planet… | 你们星球上 |
| [15:39] | how do you do it? | 怎么做爱的呢 |
| [15:41] | Well, it’s– it’s similar to Earth. | 和地球上差不多 |
| [15:43] | Typically, you launch a protoplasm capsule | 通常呢 你发射一个细胞质舱 |
| [15:46] | into your partner’s receptor port, | 进入你伴侣的受体门 |
| [15:47] | and then wait for a… | 然后就等候一个 |
| [15:50] | an impact summary. | 反应结果 |
| [15:54] | Take me, spaceman! | 上我 太空人 |
| [16:04] | I’m screwed. Sam’s here early, | 我完蛋了 山姆早到了 |
| [16:05] | and her sister Samantha’s due any minute. | 她姐姐萨曼莎马上就到了 |
| [16:07] | So you’re gonna go outside, | 你赶紧出去 |
| [16:08] | and distract Samantha when she gets here. | 等萨曼莎到了就把她引开 |
| [16:11] | How can I do that? | 怎么做呢 |
| [16:12] | Well, shiny objects usually work for me. | 通常亮晶晶的东西对我很管用 |
| [16:22] | Samantha! | 萨曼莎 |
| [16:24] | You’re here, too. | 你到了也 |
| [16:25] | Too? | 也 |
| [16:26] | To…eat… | 耶 吃饭 |
| [16:29] | in the kitchen… | 去厨房 |
| [16:31] | where people always eat. | 大家都在那里吃饭 |
| [16:32] | Not in the bathroom. | 不在洗手间吃 |
| [16:33] | Where they hide. | 那里是躲人用的 |
| [16:35] | Stay calm. | 冷静 |
| [16:39] | Harry, is something wrong? | 哈里 出了什么事吗 |
| [16:41] | No, I’m havin’ a great time. | 没 我很开心 |
| [16:45] | And so are you. | 你也是 |
| [16:46] | Now, why don’t you just sit here and count to 100. | 现在你不如坐在这里数到100 |
| [16:50] | No reason. | 没有理由 |
| [16:51] | Harry, where are you going? | 哈里 你去哪里 |
| [16:54] | To check on the ham. | 去看一下火腿 |
| [16:55] | It’s in the bathroom. | 在洗手间里 |
| [16:57] | It’s an old family recipe. | 这是一个祖传食谱 |
| [17:04] | Sam, quick, you gotta get outta here. | 山姆 快 你得出来了 |
| [17:06] | Harry, I didn’t see anybody. | 哈里 我谁也没看到 |
| [17:09] | That’s because you missed her! | 那是因为你没撞见她 |
| [17:11] | Now, come on. | 快过来 |
| [17:12] | I want you to go in the bathroom | 我要你进洗手间 |
| [17:14] | and sneak Sam out, okay? | 把山姆偷偷带出去 好吗 |
| [17:15] | I think the other one might be hotter, anyway. | 我觉得另一个可能更漂亮 |
| [17:19] | Harry? | 哈里 |
| [17:21] | Yes? | 怎么了 |
| [17:22] | What’s goin’ on? | 怎么回事 |
| [17:23] | Well, nothing. | 没什么 |
| [17:24] | Let’s go eat. | 我们去吃饭吧 |
| [17:26] | Isn’t the ham in the bathroom? | 火腿不是在洗手间吗 |
| [17:29] | Yeah, that’s right. | 对 没错 |
| [17:31] | – Who’s that? – It’s the ham. | -里面是谁 -是火腿 |
| [17:35] | It must be ready. | 一定是做好了 |
| [17:37] | Harry, I know somebody’s in there. | 哈里 我知道里面有人 |
| [17:39] | Look… | 听着 |
| [17:41] | I got a confession to make. | 我要坦白 |
| [17:43] | I made two dates tonight. | 我今晚有两个约会 |
| [17:45] | You did? | 是吗 |
| [17:47] | Who’d you make the other date with? | 你还要和谁约会 |
| [17:48] | Oh, I can’t tell ya. | 我开不了口 |
| [17:50] | It’s too sick. | 太变态了 |
| [17:53] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [17:58] | I wish you two all the luck in the world. | 我祝你们终成眷属 |
| [18:04] | Great. Now I lost Sam and Samantha. | 这下可好 现在山姆和萨曼莎都走了 |
| [18:09] | They took the ham! | 火腿也被拿走了 |
| [18:14] | I have listened to what you’ve had to say. | 我已经听了你的观点 |
| [18:16] | I have processed it. | 我已经接受了 |
| [18:17] | I’m not gonna change my mind. | 我不会改变主意 |
| [18:19] | I’m gonna kill Albright. | 我要杀了欧布莱特 |
| [18:20] | But you can’t! | 可你不能 |
| [18:22] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [18:23] | I’ll use the second most pain-free manner | 我会用我想到的排第二的 |
| [18:25] | I can think of. | 无痛手段 |
| [18:26] | Sally, she loves that we’re aliens. | 莎莉 她喜欢我们是外星人 |
| [18:29] | And she loves the secret. She thinks it’s sexy. | 她爱这个秘密 她觉得很有情趣 |
| [18:32] | Dick, as Security Officer, | 迪克 作为安全官 |
| [18:34] | I have to take care of all security breaches. | 我必须要处理掉所有的安全漏洞 |
| [18:37] | Any human who knows our true identity must die. | 任何知道我们真实身份的人都得死 |
| [18:41] | Now, those are the rules, and I’m stickin’ with ’em. | 这是规定 我一直严格执行 |
| [18:45] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [18:46] | Fine. You’re right. | 好吧 你说得对 |
| [18:47] | Okay, that’s very mature. | 好 这才是成年人嘛 |
| [18:48] | Big news, Don. | 重大消息 唐 |
| [18:49] | There’s something you should know about Sally, | 有件事该让你知道了 关于莎莉 |
| [18:50] | – Tommy, Harry, and me. – Okay, fine, fine! | -汤米哈里还有我 -好吧好吧 |
| [18:54] | I won’t kill her. | 我不会杀她 |
| [18:55] | But this conversation is not over, mister. | 可这个话题还没完 先生 |
| [18:57] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [18:59] | Sally, I really took your advice to heart. | 莎莉 我虚心听取了你的建议 |
| [19:01] | So I went down to the station and I made some changes. | 于是我跑去警察局做了些改变 |
| [19:04] | You volunteered for the anti-gang unit? | 你志愿加入反暴队了吗 |
| [19:06] | I’m opening a muffin shop! | 我要开一家松饼店 |
| [19:11] | What? | 什么 |
| [19:12] | Don, that’s ridiculous. You were meant to be a cop. | 唐 真是太荒谬了 你天生就是做警察的 |
| [19:16] | Only in your dreams. | 这只是你的梦想 |
| [19:18] | Whenever I was at work, I was scared. | 我执勤的时候 总觉得害怕 |
| [19:21] | But whenever I’m around muffins… | 可当我在松饼左右 |
| [19:25] | not so much. | 就不那么害怕了 |
| [19:31] | Dick, get in here and tell Don what you were gonna tell him! | 迪克 过来把你刚要说的话告诉唐 |
| [19:39] | So it turns out that Sam and Samantha were the same person. | 原来山姆和萨曼莎是同一个人 |
| [19:45] | Why are the crazy ones always attracted to me? | 为什么我总是吸引疯女人 |
| [19:50] | I still can’t believe Don traded in his badge | 我还是无法相信唐交出了警徽 |
| [19:53] | for an apron and a whisk. | 穿上了围裙 摆弄起搅拌器 |
| [19:56] | I’m just really worried he’s giving up his calling. | 我真担心他放弃了自己的使命 |
| [19:59] | Now that Mary knows about us, | 既然玛丽知道了我们的事 |
| [20:01] | we should invite her up here | 我们该邀请她上来 |
| [20:02] | to muse with us about the earth. | 一起思考地球的事 |
| [20:05] | Oh, this day just keeps getting better and better. | 这一天真是惊喜连连啊 |
| [20:09] | You know, I’ll tell you something interesting about– | 我要给你们说件有趣的事 |
| [20:11] | Incoming message from the Big Giant Head. | 有新消息 来自大头伟哥 |
| [20:15] | The Big Giant Head sends congratulations | 大头伟哥发来贺电 祝贺你们 |
| [20:18] | on a job well done. | 圆满完成工作 |
| [20:19] | Nice. | 真好 |
| [20:20] | And notice of your mission’s imminent cancellation. | 以及通知你们 任务即将取消 |
| [20:23] | Cancellation? | 取消 |
| [20:24] | An inter-alien complaint has been lodged by Liam Neesom. | 同星人廉姆·尼森对你们提出了投诉 |
| [20:28] | As you know, the use of a weapon | 你们知道 对另一个外星人 |
| [20:30] | against another alien is a mission violation. | 使用武器是违规的 |
| [20:33] | He was gonna turn us into chimps! | 他要把我们都变成黑猩猩 |
| [20:34] | He did it first! | 是他起的头 |
| [20:35] | It doesn’t matter who started it! | 谁起的头不重要 |
| [20:39] | The Big Giant Head is telling you: | 大头伟哥告诉你们 |
| [20:41] | The mission is over. | 任务结束 |
| [20:43] | – Over? – No! | -结束了 -不 |
| [20:44] | Yes…and that’s final. | 对 这是最终决定 |
| [20:47] | You must leave by Saturday at midnight, | 你们必须在周六午夜前离开 |
| [20:50] | when your earth bodies will expire. | 届时你们的地球人身体将会到期 |
| [20:52] | Transmission ending in 3, 2, 1– | 传输即将终止 三 二 一 |
| [20:59] | What happened? | 怎么了 |
| [21:01] | We have to go home. | 我们得回家了 |