时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | And the tips I get at the casino | 我在赌场拿到的小费 |
[00:04] | are fantastic, especially from old guys. | 非常多 尤其是老家伙给的 |
[00:07] | Lake Tahoe’s full of old guys, so… | 太浩湖全是老家伙 所以… |
[00:09] | You should come, Mom, you would be a total trophy wife up here. | 你应该来 妈 你绝对能成为傍大款的花瓶娇妻 |
[00:13] | Yeah, alcoholic waitress | 对 酗酒服务员 |
[00:15] | with two kids, some trophy. | 还有俩孩子 好娇的妻 |
[00:17] | Are you dating anybody? | 你有男友吗 |
[00:19] | Not really, | 没有 |
[00:20] | I’m mostly concentrating on work and saving my money. | 我主要是专心工作和存钱 |
[00:23] | I was actually thinking if I put enough aside, | 我在想如果存够了钱 |
[00:26] | I could move to France for a year, | 我可以搬去法国一年 |
[00:28] | learn a new language, maybe study to become a chef. | 学一门外语 也许学习成为大厨 |
[00:31] | Sounds like you’re doing really well. | 听起来你过得非常好 |
[00:33] | So well. | 太好了 |
[00:35] | Okay, I got to go. | 好了 我得走了 |
[00:37] | My roommate and I are gonna go for a jog around the lake | 我和室友要去湖边慢跑 |
[00:39] | before our shifts start, so I’ll talk to you next week. | 然后去上班 我们下周再聊 |
[00:42] | – Bye, honey. – Bye. | -拜 亲爱的 -拜 |
[00:47] | What do you think? | 你怎么想 |
[00:48] | Every word a lie. | 没一句真话 |
[00:50] | I know, right? | 我知道 |
[00:51] | A chef? | 大厨 |
[00:52] | Jog? | 慢跑 |
[00:53] | It was hard to keep a straight face. | 想忍住不笑真难 |
[00:55] | So, what do you think she’s really up to? | 你觉得她的真正目的是什么 |
[00:58] | No idea, but she didn’t ask for money, | 不知道 但她没要钱 |
[01:00] | so I couldn’t be prouder. | 所以这是我最为她骄傲的时刻 |
[01:05] | Hey, it’s the whole gang. | 一家人全到了 |
[01:08] | Hi, buddy. | 你好 小家伙 |
[01:08] | Hi. | 你好 |
[01:10] | What’s with him? | 他这是怎么了 |
[01:11] | Oh, we need to talk. | 我们要谈谈 |
[01:13] | Oh, no. | 不好 |
[01:14] | Are you breaking up with me? | 你要和我分手吗 |
[01:18] | What’s going on? | 出什么事了 |
[01:19] | We had an incident. | 出了点事 |
[01:21] | Let’s not overreact. | 大家别反应过度 |
[01:23] | We caught Roscoe smoking marijuana. | 我们抓到罗斯科抽大麻 |
[01:25] | – What? – Oh, no. | -什么 -不是吧 |
[01:26] | Again, let’s not overreact. | 再说一遍 别反应过度 |
[01:29] | It’s just a couple of hits, | 只是一点点 |
[01:30] | he was coughing like a rookie. | 他像菜鸟一样咳个不停 |
[01:33] | While you were in the house? | 你们当时在家吗 |
[01:34] | No, no, we were on our way to my friend’s baby shower | 不 我们正在去朋友的婴儿送礼会的路上 |
[01:37] | when we realized that Baxter forgot the gift. | 我们发现巴克斯特忘了拿礼物 |
[01:39] | It was a box set of Curious George books. | 是礼盒装的《好奇的乔治》的书 |
[01:43] | Maybe not important, go on. | 这不重要 继续说 |
[01:46] | So, when we walked back into the house, | 我们回到家 |
[01:48] | I looked through the French doors | 我从法式门看过去 |
[01:49] | and there he was, puffing away in the Jacuzzi. | 他躺在按摩浴缸里吞云吐雾 |
[01:54] | Where the hell did he learn to smoke and soak? | 他跟谁学的边泡澡边吸大烟的 |
[01:57] | And where did he get the pot? | 他在哪里拿到大麻的 |
[01:58] | He said a friend at school. | 他说是学校的朋友 |
[02:00] | He didn’t get it from you? | 他不是找你拿的吗 |
[02:01] | Of course not. | 当然不是 |
[02:02] | What do you mean, “Of course not”? | 什么叫”当然不是” |
[02:04] | You smoke all the time. | 你总是在抽大麻 |
[02:05] | You’re more marijuana than man. | 说你是行走的大麻更贴切 |
[02:08] | Excuse me, but Baxter no longer smokes marijuana. | 不好意思 但巴克斯特不再抽大麻了 |
[02:12] | Really? | 真的吗 |
[02:12] | Yes, really. | 是 真的 |
[02:14] | Candace stood next to me | 坎迪斯站在我旁边 |
[02:15] | while I flushed my whole stash down the toilet, | 看着我把所有的存货冲进了马桶 |
[02:18] | longest 45 minutes of my life. | 我这辈子最漫长的45分钟 |
[02:21] | Are you buying any of this? | 你相信吗 |
[02:22] | It’s true. | 是真的 |
[02:23] | We’re trying to get pregnant. | 我们在努力造人 |
[02:25] | Smoking’s bad for the sperm count | 吸大麻对精子数量有影响 |
[02:27] | and plus there’s fallopian tube issues… | 而且还有输卵管的问题 |
[02:29] | Baxter! | 巴克斯特 |
[02:30] | I didn’t say who had the issues. | 我没说这问题是谁的 |
[02:35] | This doesn’t make any sense. | 这根本说不通 |
[02:36] | He was always such a happy kid. | 他一直是快乐的孩子 |
[02:37] | Why would he need to get high? | 他为什么要追求嗨劲儿呢 |
[02:39] | Really? | 不是吧 |
[02:40] | Given how he was raised, you have to ask? | 考虑到他是怎么被养大的 你还需要问吗 |
[02:43] | Are you saying this is my fault? | 你是说这是我的错吗 |
[02:45] | Well… I’m certainly not a drug addict. | 反正我没有毒瘾 |
[02:51] | Baxter, you might want to get her out of here | 巴克斯特 你最好带她离开这里 |
[02:53] | before I break that store-bought nose. | 免得我把她的整容鼻子打残了 |
[02:57] | Come on, honey. | 快走 亲爱的 |
[02:58] | I had a deviated septum. | 我有鼻中隔弯曲 |
[02:59] | Yeah, and you’re gonna have it again! | 是吗 老娘会让你再弯一次 |
[03:03] | Chef Violet’s looking pretty good right now, isn’t she? | 现在看来维奥莉特大厨很不错吧 |
[03:27] | I thought we were five years away from having to deal with this. | 我以为我们要五年后才会面对这个问题 |
[03:30] | Really? Five? | 真的吗 五年 |
[03:31] | He still eats cereal with pirates on the box. | 他吃的麦片盒子上还印着海盗呢 |
[03:34] | I know, but it’s happening now, | 我知道 但现在已经发生了 |
[03:36] | so how do you want to handle it? | 你要怎么处理 |
[03:38] | I don’t. I want to pretend it’s not happening. | 我不想处理 我想装作这事没发生 |
[03:40] | All right, then let’s sit down and eat. | 好的 那我们坐下吃饭 |
[03:42] | You’re kidding, right? | 你开玩笑吧 |
[03:44] | Well, you know the kid’s probably hungry. | 孩子可能饿了 |
[03:48] | Roscoe, get out here! | 罗斯科 出来 |
[03:53] | Well? | 好吧 |
[03:54] | What do you have to say for yourself? | 你要为自己辩护什么 |
[03:56] | I thought they’d be gone longer. | 我以为他们不会那么快回来 |
[03:59] | You believe this kid? | 你瞧这孩子说什么话 |
[04:00] | That was pretty cute. | 挺可爱的 |
[04:03] | Sit down. | 坐下 |
[04:05] | Let’s get this over with. | 快点完事吧 |
[04:06] | How much trouble am I in? | 我惹了多大的麻烦 |
[04:07] | Oh, I think you know. | 我想你知道 |
[04:09] | I don’t. | 我不知道 |
[04:11] | Well, that didn’t work. | 这招不管用 |
[04:14] | Roscoe, after everything you’ve seen me and your grandma go through, | 罗斯科 你看到我和你外婆的遭遇了 |
[04:17] | why would you do this? | 你为什么要这样做 |
[04:18] | I’m sorry, it was the first time. | 对不起 这是第一次 |
[04:20] | I didn’t even like it. | 我甚至都不喜欢 |
[04:21] | Aw, he thinks we’re stupid. | 他觉得我们很蠢 |
[04:25] | If you’re gonna lie to us, | 如果你想对我们说谎 |
[04:26] | you’re gonna have to try a little harder. | 你得编得更像样一点 |
[04:28] | I’m not lying. | 我没说谎 |
[04:28] | You get that addiction runs in our family. | 上瘾是我们的家族遗传 |
[04:30] | Along with lying. | 还有说谎这毛病 |
[04:33] | What do you want from me? I said I’m sorry. | 你想要我怎么样 我说了对不起了 |
[04:35] | Where’d you even get the pot? | 大麻是哪里来的 |
[04:36] | – From a kid at school. – What’s his name? | -学校的孩子 -叫什么名字 |
[04:38] | – I don’t want to say. – You have to tell us. | -我不想说 -你必须说 |
[04:40] | Grandma said that I should never be a snitch. | 外婆教我永远不要做告密人 |
[04:42] | I said never be a snitch, | 我说永远不要做告密人 |
[04:44] | unless the DA offers you immunity. | 除非地检官给你了豁免权 |
[04:48] | Mom, I’m never gonna do it again, I promise. | 妈 我再也不会这样了 我发誓 |
[04:52] | Okay, well, I want you to stay away from this unnamed kid. | 我要你远离这个无名的孩子 |
[04:56] | I will. | 我会的 |
[04:57] | I don’t even like him. | 我甚至不喜欢他 |
[04:58] | Yeah, ’cause everyone hates the kid who gives away pot. | 对 因为大家都讨厌派发大麻的孩子 |
[05:02] | You need better lies. | 你说谎的技巧需要提升 |
[05:03] | But I’m telling the truth. | 但我说的是实话 |
[05:04] | Enough! Go to your room. | 够了 去你房间 |
[05:14] | Well, this is a nightmare. | 这真是一场噩梦 |
[05:16] | That it is. | 没错 |
[05:17] | I don’t know what to do. | 我不知道怎么办 |
[05:18] | Well, we know grounding him isn’t gonna work. | 我们知道禁足是不管用的 |
[05:20] | Remember when you grounded me for smoking weed at his age? | 还记得我在他这个年纪抽大麻被你禁足吗 |
[05:23] | Yeah. Hard to do when you’re living in a car. | 住在车里太难办到了 |
[05:26] | You sent me to the backseat to think about what I’d done. | 你让我去后座好好想想自己做了什么 |
[05:30] | Okay, but at least now we’re both in recovery | 但至少现在我们都戒瘾了 |
[05:33] | and we have tools to deal with this. | 我们有工具处理这个问题 |
[05:35] | What are those tools, Mom? | 什么工具 妈 |
[05:38] | I don’t know, sometimes I just say things. | 我不知道 有时候我说话根本不经大脑 |
[05:44] | Well, I am proud to announce | 我很骄傲地宣布 |
[05:46] | I now have the longest sobriety | 我现在的戒瘾时间 |
[05:48] | of anyone in my family, | 是我们家最长的了 |
[05:49] | including my 12-year-old son. | 包括我12岁的儿子 |
[05:52] | There’s something for the Christmas letter. | 可以写进圣诞节的卡片里 |
[05:55] | Where’d Roscoe get the pot? | 罗斯科从哪里弄到的大麻啊 |
[05:57] | He says from a kid at school, | 他说是从学校的一个孩子那 |
[05:58] | but I’m still not sure I believe him. | 但我还是不大信他 |
[06:00] | That’s where I got my first joint. | 我的第一根大麻烟卷就是这么来的 |
[06:02] | Alex Marcucci. | 亚历克斯·马库奇 |
[06:03] | He could roll them with one hand. | 他可以一只手卷大麻烟卷 |
[06:05] | What’s so special about that? | 那有什么特别的 |
[06:07] | He only had one hand. | 他只有一只手 |
[06:11] | I just can’t believe this is happening. | 我还是难以置信这事发生了 |
[06:12] | He’s only in seventh grade. | 他才上七年级 |
[06:14] | Hmm, that’s how old I was. | 我那时也是这么大 |
[06:16] | I stole one of my mother’s Valium, | 偷了我妈妈的安定 |
[06:18] | washed it down with my mother’s vodka | 就着我妈妈的伏特加吞了下去 |
[06:20] | and threw up on my mom’s poodle. | 然后吐在我妈妈的狮子狗上 |
[06:24] | Did you get in a lot of trouble? | 你惹上大麻烦了吗 |
[06:25] | No, she was so out of it, she thought she did it. | 没有 她迷迷糊糊的 还以为是自己做的 |
[06:30] | I smoked my first joint when I was 14, | 我14岁时抽了第一根大麻烟卷 |
[06:32] | but I had already done acid and mushrooms by then, | 但我那时候已经吃过摇头丸和迷幻蘑菇了 |
[06:35] | so, you know, weed, whoop-de-do. | 所以大麻不算什么 |
[06:39] | Christy, I understand why you’re worried, | 克丽丝蒂 我明白你为什么担心 |
[06:41] | but this doesn’t mean Roscoe’s going down | 但这并不意味着罗斯科 |
[06:43] | the same road as the rest of us. | 重蹈了我们的覆辙 |
[06:45] | It doesn’t mean he’s not. | 也不意味着他没有啊 |
[06:47] | Well, the only thing you can do right now | 你现在唯一可以做的 |
[06:49] | is make it safe for him to talk to you. | 就是让他可以安全地跟你说话 |
[06:51] | Hey, don’t put this on me! | 别把这事怪在我头上 |
[06:53] | My son knows he can talk to me anytime! | 我儿子知道他随时都可以跟我说话 |
[06:55] | I’ve worked my ass off to be supportive | 我十分努力地支持他 |
[06:57] | and easy to open up to! | 让他可以对我敞开心扉 |
[07:01] | And you all thought I was the crazy one. | 而你们都觉得我才是疯子 |
[07:09] | You went online, you read all the reviews, | 你上网 看所有评论 |
[07:12] | but here’s something they don’t tell you about Korean cars… | 但关于韩国车 这点他们没告诉你 |
[07:15] | no one’ll ever steal it. | 从来没人偷 |
[07:19] | Hey, Baxter. | 巴克斯特 |
[07:20] | Got a minute? | 有空吗 |
[07:21] | Not really. | 没空 |
[07:22] | Make a minute. | 那就腾空 |
[07:24] | I’ll be right back. | 我马上回来 |
[07:25] | Sit inside and enjoy how a nation of short people | 坐进车里 感受一下一国矮子 |
[07:28] | built a car with surprisingly ample head room. | 造出了头部空间充足的一辆车 |
[07:32] | In here. | 进去说 |
[07:36] | So… what’s going on? | 怎么了 |
[07:39] | What the hell do you think is going on?! | 你觉得是怎么了 |
[07:40] | I’m guessing the pot thing with Roscoe? | 我猜是罗斯科抽大麻的事吗 |
[07:44] | You’re guessing? | 你还在猜吗 |
[07:48] | Okay, I’m locking it in. | 好了 我要确定了 |
[07:49] | That’s my final answer. | 这是我的最终答案 |
[07:51] | Look, I didn’t want to do this in front of Candace | 我不想在坎迪斯面前聊这事 |
[07:52] | ’cause, frankly, I don’t want to do anything in front of Candace, | 因为说实话 我不想在坎迪斯面前做任何事 |
[07:55] | but you got to level with me. | 但你必须跟我说实话 |
[07:57] | Christy, it was not my pot. | 克丽丝蒂 那不是我的大麻 |
[07:59] | You do know what “Level with me” means, right? | 你知道跟我说实话是什么意思吧 |
[08:01] | It means stop lying. | 意思是别再撒谎了 |
[08:02] | I told you, I stopped smoking | 我跟你说了 我戒了大麻 |
[08:04] | ’cause of my low sperm count! | 因为我精子数量稀少 |
[08:14] | I’ve known you for 15 years. | 我认识了你15年 |
[08:16] | The longest you’ve ever gone without smoking pot | 你最长的没抽大麻的时间 |
[08:18] | was when we went to Disney World with your parents. | 就是我们跟你父母去迪士尼乐园的时候 |
[08:20] | Oh, I got high at Disney World. | 我在迪士尼乐园也嗨了 |
[08:21] | How do you not get high at Disney World? | 在迪士尼乐园怎么会不嗨呢 |
[08:23] | And now I’m supposed to believe | 现在我该相信 |
[08:24] | there’s no weed in your house? | 你家里没大麻了吗 |
[08:26] | Yes, because I told you there isn’t. | 是啊 因为我跟你说了没有 |
[08:29] | Look… I know this is a hot button for you | 听着 我知道这对你来说是个敏感问题 |
[08:31] | and it would make your life a lot easier | 如果是我搞砸了 |
[08:33] | if I was the one that screwed up, but I didn’t. | 这会让你的生活容易许多 但我没有 |
[08:39] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[08:41] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
[08:42] | It’s just… | 只是 |
[08:44] | I’m so sad. | 我很难过 |
[08:46] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
[08:48] | But let’s remember Roscoe’s a good kid | 但让我们记住罗斯科是个好孩子 |
[08:50] | and he made one mistake. | 犯了一个错误而已 |
[08:52] | Yeah, well, I was a good kid who made one mistake | 是啊 我也是个好孩子 不过是24年来 |
[08:54] | every day for 24 years. | 每天都犯一个错误 |
[08:57] | But you didn’t have a mom like you. | 但你没有你这样的妈妈 |
[09:01] | That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. | 这是你对我说的最好的话 |
[09:03] | I’ve said nicer things, | 我还说过更好的 |
[09:04] | you were just too drunk to remember. | 你当时烂醉如泥 不记得了 |
[09:08] | So you and Candace are trying to get pregnant? | 你和坎迪斯想怀孕吗 |
[09:11] | Yeah, she’s taking hormones, checking her temperature. | 是啊 她在服用激素 检查体温 |
[09:14] | We always have to do it in a certain position. | 我们总是得以某种体位做 |
[09:16] | My fault, I asked. | 我不该问的 |
[09:17] | See you later. | 回头见 |
[09:19] | You think that’s bad, | 你觉得那很糟糕 |
[09:20] | she’s having me wear boxers to keep my balls cool. | 她还让我穿四角内裤 保持蛋蛋的凉爽 |
[09:28] | Sorry, Janice. | 抱歉 珍妮斯 |
[09:34] | – Got enough chocolate sauce? – Yup. | -巧克力酱够了吗 -够了 |
[09:35] | – You want more sprinkles? – Yup. | -还想要糖屑吗 -想 |
[09:37] | – Do you know where your dad hides his pot? – Yup. | -知道你爸爸把大麻藏哪儿吗 -知道 |
[09:40] | Damn it. | 该死 |
[09:42] | So it was your dad’s joint you were smoking? | 所以你抽的的确是你爸爸的大麻 |
[09:45] | I guess. | 我想是吧 |
[09:46] | Why’d you cover for him? | 为什么替他打掩护 |
[09:48] | I don’t know. He’s my dad. | 我不知道 他是我爸爸 |
[09:50] | That’s sweet. Stupid but sweet. | 真有爱 很蠢 但很有爱 |
[09:54] | Please don’t tell Mom. | 拜托别告诉妈妈 |
[09:55] | Hey, who taught you never to be a snitch? | 谁教你别做告密人的 |
[09:58] | – I’m home. – He got the pot from Baxter! | -我回家了 -他的大麻是巴克斯特的 |
[10:01] | Hey! | 喂 |
[10:02] | Another lesson– never trust anybody. | 另一课 绝不相信别人 |
[10:15] | Hi. I’m Christy. I’m an alcoholic. | 大家好 我是克丽丝蒂 我是酒瘾者 |
[10:18] | Hi, Christy. | 你好 克丽丝蒂 |
[10:20] | As you can see, I brought my son tonight. | 你们能看见 今晚我把我儿子带来了 |
[10:24] | Don’t look at him. | 别看他 |
[10:25] | He’ll know I’m talking about him. | 他会知道我在说他 |
[10:28] | Normally I’d leave him home | 一般情况下我会让他待在家里 |
[10:30] | to watch television, but | 看电视 但是 |
[10:32] | I just don’t trust him right now. | 我现在不信任他了 |
[10:34] | Hang on. | 等等 |
[10:35] | Oh, look, a Pokémon! | 瞧瞧 一个宠物小精灵 |
[10:38] | You’re good. | 没事了 |
[10:41] | Anyway, he got caught smoking a joint at my ex’s house. | 总之 他被发现在我前夫家里抽大麻烟卷 |
[10:45] | 12 years old, and he’s smoking pot in a Jacuzzi | 才12岁 他就在按摩浴缸里抽大麻 |
[10:47] | like some kind of itty-bitty rapper. | 像是个小说唱歌手一样 |
[10:50] | Don’t look at him. | 别看他 |
[10:52] | And the worst part is, | 最糟糕的部分是 |
[10:54] | he stole the weed from his father, | 他是从他爸爸那里偷来的大麻 |
[10:55] | who lied to my face about quitting | 他当着我的面撒谎说他戒了 |
[10:57] | because of his pathetic sperm count. | 因为他精子数量很低 |
[11:00] | And yes, | 是的 |
[11:01] | I know I shouldn’t be gossiping about that, but I don’t care. | 我知道我不该八卦这事 但我不在乎 |
[11:04] | I hope he has to keep banging that witch upside down forever. | 希望他这辈子都得颠倒着跟那巫婆做爱 |
[11:10] | Anyway, | 总之 |
[11:11] | I think what’s really bothering me is | 我觉得真正让我困扰的是 |
[11:14] | I’m just so scared that my son’s gonna wind up | 我很害怕我儿子最后 |
[11:17] | in one of these rooms one day, | 也会参加戒瘾会 |
[11:19] | but, you know, without headphones. | 但是 不戴耳机 |
[11:23] | Don’t look at him. | 别看着他 |
[11:26] | I guess that’s it. | 我想就这样吧 |
[11:29] | Thanks for letting me share the endless turd storm | 谢谢你们让我分享无尽的粪风暴 |
[11:31] | that is my life. | 那就是我的生活 |
[11:36] | Okay. Anyone else? | 好了 还有谁要来 |
[11:38] | Hi. Bonnie, alcoholic. | 大家好 邦妮 酒瘾者 |
[11:40] | Hi, Bonnie. | 你好 邦妮 |
[11:41] | And I, too, know what it’s like to have a child in these rooms. | 我也懂有孩子参加戒瘾会的感受 |
[11:45] | Don’t look at her. | 别看着她 |
[11:52] | Baxter just pulled up. | 巴克斯特靠边停车了 |
[11:53] | Okay, what’s the plan? | 好吧 计划是什么 |
[11:55] | Simple. I’m gonna kill him, | 很简单 我来杀了他 |
[11:56] | you’re gonna dispose of the body. | 你来抛尸灭迹 |
[11:59] | I never get the fun part. | 好玩的事总轮不到我来做 |
[12:01] | I wish I thought any of this was fun. | 真希望我觉得这一切很好玩 |
[12:03] | Can be. Have you taken a moment | 可以啊 你有没有花时间 |
[12:05] | to consider how much leverage you have right now? | 想过你现在有多少筹码 |
[12:08] | What are you talking about? | 你什么意思 |
[12:10] | You know that he lied to his wife. | 你知道他对他妻子撒谎了 |
[12:12] | And you know that without her, he’s jobless, homeless | 你也知道没了她 他就没工作 无家可归了 |
[12:16] | and back to selling his sperm, which we now know is worthless. | 只能继续卖精子 而我们都知道那没用了 |
[12:20] | So with that in mind, | 考虑到这一点 |
[12:22] | what if you were to suggest that in exchange for your silence, | 如果你建议 为了换取你的沉默 |
[12:25] | he might want to send you and your mother | 他得送你和你妈妈 |
[12:27] | to Hawaii for a week for the low price | 去夏威夷玩一个星期 |
[12:29] | of $1,700 per person courtesy of Travelocity? | 旅游城网打折 每人只要一千七哦 |
[12:33] | – Ooh, Kauai, the garden island. – Mm-hmm. | -考艾岛 花园岛屿 -嗯 |
[12:36] | And look, a complimentary luau | 瞧 赠送的烤猪宴 |
[12:38] | with a pig they cook in the ground. | 他们会在土里烤猪 |
[12:41] | Mmm. I’ve never eaten a dirty pig. | 我从来没吃过脏猪呢 |
[12:45] | Yes, I heard it. | 我听到了 |
[12:47] | So what do you think? | 你怎么看 |
[12:50] | No, this is about my son’s well-being. | 不行 这事的重点是我儿子的健康 |
[12:53] | Not about seven days and six nights at the Sheraton Poipu Beach. | 不是在喜来登波伊普海滩酒店待六天七夜 |
[12:58] | You’re a better mother when you’re tan. | 你晒黑后会是个更好的妈妈 |
[13:02] | No. | 不行 |
[13:04] | Oh, come on! | 拜托 |
[13:05] | We can swim with the dolphins! | 我们可以跟海豚一起游泳呢 |
[13:10] | Hey. Roscoe ready to go? | 罗斯科准备好走了吗 |
[13:12] | Hang out a minute. He’s washing my car. | 稍等一会 他在洗我的车 |
[13:14] | Ah, that’s smart. | 聪明 |
[13:15] | A little manual labor as punishment? | 做点体力劳动 以示惩罚 |
[13:17] | Builds character. | 能锻炼他的人格 |
[13:18] | Yeah, shut up and sit down. | 是啊 闭嘴坐下 |
[13:20] | – What? – You heard her. | -什么 -你听到了她说的话 |
[13:22] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[13:29] | Everything all right? | 一切还好吧 |
[13:31] | Roscoe told us he found your stash. | 罗斯科告诉了我们他找到了你的存货 |
[13:33] | That’s impossible. | 不可能 |
[13:34] | There is no stash. I told you I quit. | 根本就没有存货 我说了我戒了 |
[13:38] | So you’re calling your son a liar? | 你的意思是你儿子是个骗子咯 |
[13:41] | I, uh… I guess. | 我想是吧 |
[13:45] | Oh, man up, you sperm-less weasel! | 做个男人吧 你这个没精子的奸人 |
[13:50] | Tell me the truth. | 告诉我真相 |
[13:52] | Okay, it was me! I’m sorry! | 好吧 是我 很抱歉 |
[13:54] | You made me feel like it was my fault. | 你让我感觉是我的错 |
[13:57] | Of course I did! I’m a sperm-less weasel! | 当然啦 我是个没精子的奸人 |
[14:01] | All right, now here’s what’s gonna happen. | 好 你要这样做 |
[14:07] | You’re gonna call Candace and tell her the truth. | 你要跟坎迪斯打电话 告诉她真相 |
[14:10] | I can’t do that. She’ll throw me out. | 不行 她会把我赶走 |
[14:12] | Fine, then I’ll tell her. | 好吧 那我告诉她 |
[14:14] | Go ahead. | 告啊 |
[14:15] | She’s not gonna believe you. She hates you, | 她不会信你的 她讨厌你 |
[14:18] | whereas I’m the man she’s settling for. | 而我是她勉强接受的人 |
[14:23] | That might be true. | 那也许是真的 |
[14:24] | Let’s find out. | 来看看吧 |
[14:25] | Let’s. | 好啊 |
[14:27] | Unlocking my phone. | 解锁手机 |
[14:29] | Scrolling through contacts. | 浏览联系人 |
[14:32] | Selecting “Big Red Nightmare” | 选择”红发大噩梦” |
[14:36] | “Mobile.” | “手机” |
[14:39] | – And it’s ringing. – Tell her I said hi. | -电话响了 -告诉她我打了招呼 |
[14:44] | Hi, Candace. | 你好 坎迪斯 |
[14:45] | – It’s Christy… – Stop, stop, stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop! | -我是克丽丝蒂 -停停停 |
[14:47] | Just give me a second to explain. | 给我一点时间解释 |
[14:49] | I know both of you think that I’m… | 我知道你俩都觉得我 |
[14:53] | Oh, my God, she’s calling back. | 天啊 她打过来了 |
[14:54] | Hey! | 喂 |
[15:00] | I’ll buy you a new phone! | 我会给你买新手机 |
[15:02] | Look, I am sorry that I threw you under the bus, | 很抱歉我让你背了黑锅 |
[15:04] | but you have to understand what my life is now. | 但你得明白我的生活现在是怎么回事 |
[15:08] | I pretend all day long to like selling cars, | 我得假装一整天喜欢卖车 |
[15:10] | then go to my tastefully decorated home | 然后回到高雅的家里 |
[15:13] | and pretend to like barbecuing fish. | 假装喜欢烤鱼 |
[15:17] | And if that’s not bad enough, | 如果那还不够糟糕的话 |
[15:18] | I have to pretend to like listening to Adele during sex! | 我还得假装喜欢在做爱期间听阿黛尔的歌 |
[15:24] | I can’t do all of that without pot! | 没有大麻人家做不到啊 |
[15:28] | Please don’t take it away from me. | 请别夺走我的大麻 |
[15:29] | It’s the only thing that’s real! | 那是唯一真实的东西了 |
[15:32] | Besides the love you have for your son. | 除了你对你的儿子的爱 |
[15:34] | Yeah, of course. That’s magical. | 当然 那太有魔力了 |
[15:39] | Please don’t tell her. | 请不要告诉她 |
[15:41] | I’ll do anything, I swear. | 我发誓 我什么都肯做 |
[15:43] | Aloha? | 赶紧啊 |
[15:48] | Okay, listen up. | 好 听好了 |
[15:49] | You are gonna get your pot out of the house– | 你要把大麻拿出你家 |
[15:52] | all of it this time. | 这次全拿走 |
[15:53] | Then you’re gonna put it in a lock box with a combination, | 然后放进带密码的保险箱里 |
[15:55] | and then you’re gonna send me a picture of that box. | 然后给我发一张保险箱的照片 |
[15:58] | You got it. | 没问题 |
[15:59] | I’ll do it tonight when Big Red’s watching Real Housewives. | 今晚红发大噩梦看《娇妻》时我就去做 |
[16:03] | Is that it? Are we good? | 就这样吗 我们没事了吗 |
[16:06] | One of us is good. Mom? | 我是没事了 妈妈 |
[16:09] | – Go for it? – Go for it. | -大胆去做吗 -是的 |
[16:11] | I’ll get my laptop. Get out your credit card. | 我去拿笔记本 你拿信用卡 |
[16:19] | Are you in trouble with Candace? | 你跟坎迪斯有麻烦了吗 |
[16:21] | No more than usual. | 和平常差不多 |
[16:24] | Are you in trouble with Mom? | 你跟妈妈有麻烦了吗 |
[16:26] | No more than usual. | 和平常差不多 |
[16:29] | Are you mad at me? | 你生我的气吗 |
[16:32] | Are you kidding? Of course not. | 你开玩笑吗 当然没有 |
[16:33] | If anything, I should be apologizing to you. | 其实我该向你道歉呢 |
[16:36] | I’m listening. | 我在听 |
[16:39] | Roscoe, you know I smoke pot. | 罗斯科 你知道我抽大麻 |
[16:42] | Yeah. | 是的 |
[16:43] | And so, you might think that’s cool | 你也许觉得那很酷 |
[16:45] | because, you know, I’m cool. | 因为我很酷 |
[16:50] | Sorry, go on. | 抱歉 继续 |
[16:53] | But it’s not cool. | 但那不酷 |
[16:55] | It’s a crutch that people use when, you know, | 那是人们在处理不喜欢的感情时 |
[16:57] | they’re dealing with feelings they don’t like. | 所用的拐杖 |
[17:00] | I get it. | 我懂 |
[17:04] | Is that why you did it? | 所以你才抽大麻吗 |
[17:05] | No. | 不是 |
[17:08] | So then why? | 那为什么 |
[17:10] | The truth? | 要听真话吗 |
[17:11] | Yeah. | 是的 |
[17:13] | We were out of beer. | 家里没啤酒了 |
[17:30] | They really pack you in here, don’t they? | 这座位真挤啊 对吧 |
[17:32] | Really, chipmunk? You feel crammed in? | 真的吗 花栗鼠 你觉得很挤吗 |
[17:35] | Oh, sorry. | 抱歉 |
[17:38] | Hey, I saw Alicia Keys in first class. | 我在头等舱看见了歌手艾丽西亚·凯斯 |
[17:41] | You want to say hello? | 你想去打个招呼吗 |
[17:43] | Not really, no. | 不大想 |
[17:44] | Oh, come on. She’s just sitting there. | 拜托 她就坐那儿 |
[17:45] | I’m sure she’d appreciate meeting some of her fans. | 她肯定喜欢见一些粉丝 |
[17:48] | I’m sure you’re wrong. | 你肯定错了 |
[17:49] | What’s your problem? | 你什么毛病啊 |
[17:51] | We’re on a free vacation. | 我们在度免费假期呢 |
[17:53] | I know. I’m just thinking about Roscoe. | 我知道 我只是在想罗斯科 |
[17:56] | Look, we got all the drugs out of that house, | 我们把他家所有的大麻都弄走了 |
[17:59] | Baxter’s gonna watch him like a hawk. | 巴克斯特会像鹰一样盯着他 |
[18:00] | We’ve done all we can do. | 我们已经尽力了 |
[18:03] | You’re right. I’ll try to relax. | 你说得对 我尽量放松 |
[18:05] | There you go. Let’s raise our cups of warm ginger ale | 这就对了 让我们举起装着温热生姜啤酒的杯子 |
[18:09] | and toast to seven days, six nights in paradise | 敬在天堂的七天六夜 |
[18:11] | with free breakfast buffet. | 还有免费的自助早餐 |
[18:13] | Don’t forget the dirty pig. | 别忘了脏猪 |
[18:22] | There’s only one thing that | 罗斯科这事 |
[18:23] | – bugs me about this whole Roscoe deal. – What? | -只有一点让我困扰 -是什么 |
[18:26] | He said it was the first time he ever smoked pot. | 他说这是他第一次抽大麻 |
[18:29] | Now, is a Jacuzzi the place you go to get high for the first time, | 你第一次抽大麻会去按摩浴缸呢 |
[18:33] | or is that… optimizing an experience you’ve already had? | 还是说那是为了优化你已经有过的体验 |
[18:40] | Turn this plane around! | 让飞机掉头 |