| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Why don’t you want to kiss me? I’m kissable, damn it! | 你为什么不想吻我 我很好吻的 可恶 |
| [00:06] | Are you even listening to me? | 你在听我说话吗 |
| [00:08] | Yes, I just find these tea bags | 嗯 我刚发现茶包 |
| [00:10] | need to be coaxed in order to steep properly. | 需要慢慢放入 才能浸透 |
| [00:14] | Can we get back to the fact | 我们能不能说回 |
| [00:15] | that my husband never wants to kiss me again? | 我丈夫不愿意再吻我这件事上 |
| [00:18] | Is there a chance you’re exaggerating the situation? | 你有没有可能夸大了情况 |
| [00:21] | None. | 没有 |
| [00:22] | Shall I relive the horror all over again | 既然你的橙黄白毫泡开了 |
| [00:24] | now that your orange pekoe’s squared away? | 要不要我重温一遍恐怖经历 |
| [00:27] | Yeah, sure, relive. | 好 可以 重温吧 |
| [00:32] | Ah, I can’t wait to see what you think of my sauce. | 我等不及听你对我酱料的想法了 |
| [00:35] | I went for sweet with a little bit of heat. | 我做的是甜口 带点辣 |
| [00:38] | And you’re sure the ribs are cooked enough? | 你确定肋排熟了吗 |
| [00:39] | I know they were only on there for 12 hours. | 我知道它们只烹了12个小时 |
| [00:43] | It was six. | 是六个小时 |
| [00:44] | You might need to squeeze harder. | 你可能得用力挤 |
| [00:47] | Not that hard. | 不是那么用力 |
| [00:49] | – So this is my fault? – Well… | -所以这是我的错了 -这个嘛 |
| [00:51] | the goal was to squeeze some sauce | 目标是挤出一点酱料 |
| [00:52] | out of the opening, not a child. | 而不是挤出一个大宝宝 |
| [00:58] | What does this have to do with kissing, | 这与接吻有什么关系 |
| [01:00] | you should be asking. | 你应该这样问 |
| [01:08] | Oh, I see what happened. | 我知道是怎么回事了 |
| [01:10] | A little chunk of onion got stuck in the nozzle. | 小口被一块洋葱堵住了 |
| [01:12] | Well, what the hell’s an onion doing in there? | 洋葱怎么会跑进那里去 |
| [01:14] | It’s developing the depth of flavor. | 这是为了让味道有层次感 |
| [01:17] | And ruining our breath. It’s date night. | 还让我们有了口臭 这可是约会夜 |
| [01:19] | So much for kissing. | 现在接不了吻了 |
| [01:22] | What’s that supposed to mean? | 那是什么意思 |
| [01:25] | Eh. Kissing. It’s overrated. | 接吻没那么重要 |
| [01:27] | Excuse me? | 不好意思 |
| [01:29] | It’s like salad. | 这就像沙拉 |
| [01:30] | I mean, you’re happy to eat it but you really | 吃到是很开心啦 但你其实 |
| [01:32] | just want to get to the main course. | 只想吃主菜 |
| [01:33] | Oh, so what are we doing for foreplay now? | 那我们现在怎么做前戏 |
| [01:35] | “Grab the sink, I’m coming in”? | “抓稳水槽 我要进来了” |
| [01:40] | I did not promise to love, honor, cherish | 我的结婚誓言里不包括爱 尊重 珍惜 |
| [01:42] | and never kiss again. | 和永远不再接吻 |
| [01:44] | That’s nice. | 真不错 |
| [01:46] | I’ve also decided to go back to being a hopeless drunk. | 我还决定重新做个无可救药的酒鬼 |
| [01:49] | Good for you. | 好样的 |
| [01:51] | Maybe even take up heroin. | 甚至吸海洛因 |
| [01:53] | Sounds like a plan. | 听起来不错 |
| [02:19] | All right, what’s up with you? | 好吧 你怎么回事 |
| [02:20] | You’re totally distracted. | 完全心不在焉 |
| [02:21] | You haven’t taken a single note. | 你一句话都没记 |
| [02:23] | Yes, I have. | 我记了 |
| [02:24] | Hey, no… | 不 |
| [02:26] | You have two squiggles and a blob. | 你画了两条曲线和一个点 |
| [02:28] | The two squiggles are you and Adam. | 两条曲线代表你和亚当 |
| [02:29] | And the blob is… | 一个点代表… |
| [02:32] | your inner child. | 你内心的小孩 |
| [02:34] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [02:35] | I apologize, you have my undivided attention. | 我道歉 我会一心一意听你说话 |
| [02:37] | Sure, when we’re almost done and I have to leave early | 好啊 我们都快结束了 我还要提前走 |
| [02:39] | for Tammy’s sober birthday. | 去参加塔米的戒瘾生日 |
| [02:40] | Okay, off you go. See you next week. | 好 你走吧 下周见 |
| [02:43] | That’s it? | 就这样吗 |
| [02:44] | No tools to help me deal with the fact | 没有什么工具帮我应付 |
| [02:45] | that Adam thinks kissing is overrated? | 亚当认为接吻不重要这件事吗 |
| [02:47] | He does? | 他这样认为吗 |
| [02:49] | You’re not getting paid today. | 你今天别想挣到钱了 |
| [02:52] | Hold everything. | 等等 |
| [02:53] | What’s that ceramic wizard doing here? | 那个陶瓷巫师怎么会在这里 |
| [02:56] | Casting a positive spell on your mental health. | 向你的心理健康施积极的魔咒 |
| [03:00] | Sandra took that during the divorce, and I remember | 桑德拉在离婚时带走了它 我记得这事 |
| [03:03] | because I was relieved. | 因为我当时松了一口气 |
| [03:05] | I didn’t like the way it used to stare at me | 我不喜欢它在我们治疗时 |
| [03:07] | during our sessions. | 盯我的样子 |
| [03:10] | You know, wizards can see through clothes. | 知道吗 巫师能看穿衣服 |
| [03:13] | How about that? | 真没想到 |
| [03:14] | All right, tell Tammy congratulations | 好了 告诉塔米 我祝贺她的 |
| [03:16] | on her sobriety and drive safely. | 戒瘾成绩 还有小心开车 |
| [03:18] | You know, if my kiss-less marriage crumbles into the sea | 如果我的无吻婚姻在下周前 |
| [03:20] | between now and next week, it’s on you. | 分崩离析了 那就是你的错 |
| [03:22] | Okay. | 好 |
| [03:27] | Don’t listen to her. | 别听她的 |
| [03:30] | I just need to get into my safe deposit box. | 我只是需要打开我的保险箱 |
| [03:33] | It’s my friend’s sober birthday. | 我朋友的戒瘾生日到了 |
| [03:34] | So I’m gonna give her my little diamond pin. | 我要送她我的小钻石别针 |
| [03:36] | Oh, lucky friend. | 你朋友真幸运 |
| [03:38] | Yeah, well, her dad killed her mom | 是啊 她爸爸杀了她妈妈 |
| [03:40] | and she robbed a steakhouse and spent seven years in prison, | 她抢了牛排店 在监狱里蹲了七年 |
| [03:42] | so, you know, good days, bad days. | 所以你知道 运气有好有坏啦 |
| [03:46] | Okay, I’ll go get the key. | 好 我去拿钥匙 |
| [03:49] | Be right back. | 马上回来 |
| [03:53] | Hey, you. | 是你 |
| [03:54] | Hey! Hey, Jill. | 吉尔 |
| [03:56] | Didn’t expect to run into you here. | 没想到会在这里遇到你 |
| [03:58] | Hmm, looks like you didn’t expect to run into anybody. | 看起来你没打算遇到任何人 |
| [04:02] | Yeah, these mighty calves | 我这双粗壮的小腿 |
| [04:03] | are trapped in the prison of long pants all week. | 在长裤里憋了一整周 |
| [04:06] | I like to turn ’em loose on my day off. | 我喜欢在放假时让它们喘口气 |
| [04:08] | I see. | 我明白了 |
| [04:09] | And your feet? | 你的脚呢 |
| [04:10] | Hey, it’s everyone’s day off. | 要放假大家一起放 |
| [04:14] | I’m just teasing, you look good. | 我只是在调侃你 你看起来很棒 |
| [04:16] | Now go get on that tram and enjoy the Magic Kingdom. | 现在快上迪士尼神奇王国的小火车吧 |
| [04:22] | You done? | 说完了吗 |
| [04:24] | For now. | 暂时完了 |
| [04:25] | So what are you doing here? | 所以你来这里做什么 |
| [04:26] | I was just picking out a new check design. | 我只是在挑选新的支票设计 |
| [04:29] | Looks like the Raiders are staying in Vegas. | 看起来突袭者队要留在拉斯维加斯了 |
| [04:31] | Looks like you’re going to Vegas. | 看起来你要去拉斯维加斯了 |
| [04:33] | I’m done now. | 我说完了 |
| [04:35] | Do those shoes taste like circus peanuts? | 这双鞋尝起来像不像马戏团花生糖 |
| [04:37] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [04:38] | Done now. | 说完了 |
| [04:44] | Did you see the wizard? | 你看到那个巫师了吗 |
| [04:47] | You know, you have never actually spoken to me before, | 你以前从来没跟我说过话 |
| [04:49] | and I would not have predicted those would be your first words. | 我没想到这竟然是你的第一句话 |
| [04:52] | But while you’re in a chatty mood, | 但既然你想聊天 |
| [04:54] | why does the wizard bother you, too? | 你为什么也讨厌巫师 |
| [04:59] | Are you gonna put a curse on me | 你打算对我下咒 |
| [05:00] | and you need to touch me to do it? | 要摸我才能奏效吗 |
| [05:04] | The ex-wife. | 前妻 |
| [05:06] | She’s back? | 她回来了 |
| [05:14] | Hey, while I have you here, | 既然你在这里 |
| [05:15] | what do you think about me and Scooby-Doo checks? | 你觉得我和史酷比狗支票搭不搭 |
| [05:17] | Cool that I like to solve mysteries | 我喜欢解决谜案很酷 |
| [05:19] | or creepy older guy with a van? | 还是像个有货车的变态老头 |
| [05:22] | I think you just answered your own question. | 我觉得你刚回答了自己的问题 |
| [05:24] | Okay, what-what about Snoopy, | 好 那史努比狗怎么样 |
| [05:26] | but as the Red Baron, | 但打扮成了红男爵 |
| [05:28] | not just laying on a house. | 而不只是躺在狗屋上 |
| [05:30] | Uh, we’re ready for you, Ms. Kendall. | 我们准备好了 肯德尔女士 |
| [05:32] | Okay. | 好 |
| [05:34] | Well, it was fun running into you. | 碰到你很有趣 |
| [05:36] | Enjoy the rest of your day off. | 享受你剩余的假日吧 |
| [05:37] | Everyone, get on the floor! | 所有人趴下 |
| [05:39] | Get down and stay down! | 趴下 别起来 |
| [05:41] | Hit the dirt! | 趴下 |
| [05:42] | What? | 什么 |
| [05:43] | Get down. Oh! | 趴下 |
| [05:46] | Is this really happening? | 这真的发生了吗 |
| [05:47] | Yes, it’s really happening, just-just stay down. | 是的 真的发生了 趴下别动 |
| [05:50] | Did you bring your gun? | 你带枪了吗 |
| [05:51] | No, I’m off duty. Did you bring yours? | 没有 我休假 你带了吗 |
| [05:54] | Yeah, Andy, I always bring my gun to the bank.Okay… | 嗯 安迪 我总是带枪来银行 |
| [05:56] | I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m-I’m nervous. | 对不起 我很紧张 |
| [05:58] | You know, I haven’t seen you in a while. | 我很久没见你了 |
| [06:00] | I’m wearing shorts and now this. | 我穿着短裤 又遇到了这事 |
| [06:05] | Hello and welcome to the Tuesday speaker meeting… | 欢迎参加周二发言人会议 |
| [06:07] | Where are they? | 她们去哪了 |
| [06:08] | Honey, they’ll be here. They’re not gonna miss | 亲爱的 她们会来的 她们不会错过 |
| [06:10] | giving you a cake for your sober birthday. | 给你的戒瘾生日送蛋糕的 |
| [06:12] | But the meeting’s starting– Wendy, | 但会议已经开始了 温蒂 |
| [06:14] | stall ’em– you know what a heart attack looks like. | 拖时间 你知道心脏病发是什么样 |
| [06:16] | Fake one. | 演一下 |
| [06:17] | If I did it realistically, no one would notice. | 如果我演真实症状 没人会注意到的 |
| [06:20] | They’re silent killers. | 这种病杀人悄无声息 |
| [06:22] | You know, I didn’t even want to take a cake. | 我都不想收蛋糕 |
| [06:24] | Oh, come on, it’s nice to acknowledge | 拜托 在新人面前 |
| [06:25] | how much time you’ve got for the newcomers. | 展示你戒瘾了多久是好事 |
| [06:27] | Three years is a big deal. | 三年很不容易的 |
| [06:29] | Nobody takes a cake in prison. | 没人会在监狱里收蛋糕 |
| [06:31] | They’re considered weak, like books | 蛋糕被认为很软弱 就像书籍 |
| [06:33] | or conjugal visits. | 或夫妻探访 |
| [06:35] | Bonnie pushed me into this. | 是邦妮劝我做的这个 |
| [06:36] | Now I have to do it without her? | 现在我得在没她的情况下完成吗 |
| [06:38] | Well, Marjorie and I are still here. | 玛乔丽和我还在啊 |
| [06:40] | What about a stroke? Those are messy. | 中风怎么样 那个动静大 |
| [06:42] | Not always. | 不总是如此 |
| [06:43] | You know, you brag all the time about being a nurse, | 你总吹嘘自己是个护士 |
| [06:45] | but when the chips are down, where are you? | 但在危急关头 你人呢 |
| [06:52] | Lean Cuisine! | 瘦身特餐 |
| [06:54] | Oh, my God, we’re not done? | 天啊 还没聊完吗 |
| [06:56] | A voice in my head said something wasn’t right about you. | 我脑中有个声音说你不太对劲 |
| [06:59] | The wizard’s back, you’re counting calories, | 巫师回来了 你在算卡路里 |
| [07:01] | and Marta explicitly said Sandra was sniffing around. | 玛塔明确地说了 桑德拉贼心不死 |
| [07:04] | You add those clues up, I think Sandra’s sniffing around. | 这些线索加起来 我认为桑德拉贼心不死 |
| [07:08] | That was one of the clues. | 那是线索之一 |
| [07:09] | So you’re saying I’m right. | 所以你的意思是我说对了 |
| [07:11] | No, I’m saying it’s none of your business. | 不 我的意思是这不关你事 |
| [07:12] | Okay, switch seats, we need to talk. | 好了 换座位 我们得谈谈 |
| [07:14] | – I’m not… – Sit! | -我不要… -坐 |
| [07:22] | Look, Bonnie, I am your therapist. | 邦妮 我是你的心理医生 |
| [07:23] | I’m not gonna talk to you about my personal life. | 我不会和你谈我的私人生活 |
| [07:25] | I’m the therapist. I’m in the therapist chair. | 我才是心理医生 我坐在心理医生的椅子上 |
| [07:28] | The chair really has nothing to do with it. | 心理医生跟椅子没关系 |
| [07:29] | Yes, it does– it’s about who’s in the chair | 有关系 重点是谁坐在椅子上 |
| [07:31] | and who’s acting crazy, and I’m in the chair | 谁举动疯狂 我坐在椅子上 |
| [07:33] | and you’re acting crazy. | 你举动疯狂 |
| [07:34] | What am I doing that’s so crazy? | 我做了什么疯狂的事 |
| [07:36] | You’re letting the woman who ruined your life back into it. | 你让那个毁了你生活的女人重新回到了你的生活中 |
| [07:38] | We’re just having dinner tonight. | 我们只是今晚一起吃个饭 |
| [07:40] | And six months from now, you’ll be back in that corner crying, | 六个月后 你又会在那个角落哭泣 |
| [07:43] | and I’ll be the one helping you blow your nose. | 我会帮你擤鼻涕 |
| [07:44] | Now, you may want to go through that again, | 你可能想再经历一次 |
| [07:46] | but I do not. | 但我可不想 |
| [07:52] | What are they doing over there? | 他们在那里做什么 |
| [07:54] | They’re clearing out the cash drawers. | 他们在清空现金抽屉 |
| [07:56] | Hopefully one of the tellers triggered the silent alarm. | 但愿某个出纳员按了无声警报 |
| [07:58] | Well, how much longer do you think they’ll take? | 你觉得他们还要多久 |
| [08:01] | You want me to ask them to move it along? | 你想要我去催他们快点吗 |
| [08:04] | It’s just, you see this in the movies all the time, | 只是你总在电影中看到这一幕 |
| [08:07] | but in real life it goes a lot slower. | 但在现实生活中 速度要慢多了 |
| [08:09] | Yeah, well, we’re in Napa. | 我们在纳帕 |
| [08:10] | Everything’s slower. | 一切都更慢 |
| [08:12] | You know, if they decide to go out the back exit, | 如果他们决定从后门出去 |
| [08:13] | they’re gonna come right through here. | 他们会经过这里的 |
| [08:15] | I don’t want you to end up being a hostage. | 我不想让你被劫为人质 |
| [08:17] | Well, thanks for putting that idea in my head. | 感谢你让我想到了这个 |
| [08:20] | See? I won’t make a good hostage, I’m mouthy. | 你瞧 我不是个好人质 我爱说话 |
| [08:23] | – Jill. – I’m serious. | -吉尔 -我是认真的 |
| [08:25] | I’ll complain about the food too much. | 我会总是抱怨食物不好的 |
| [08:27] | No, I got this. | 不 交给我了 |
| [08:29] | Oh, God, what are you doing? | 天啊 你在做什么 |
| [08:31] | I’m shielding you with my body. | 我在用身体掩护你 |
| [08:34] | That’s very sweet, but… | 你很好心 但是 |
| [08:37] | you’re squishing me. | 你快压死我了 |
| [08:39] | Oh, sorry, sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [08:52] | Hey! I said stay down! | 我说了别起来 |
| [08:54] | Was he just yelling at you? | 他刚在吼你吗 |
| [08:56] | He’s right, I peeked. | 他说得对 我偷看了一眼 |
| [08:58] | I’m sorry, I’ve just never been in this situation before. | 对不起 我只是从没有经历过这种事 |
| [09:01] | You’re the professional. | 你是专业人士 |
| [09:02] | It’s okay, the important thing is to just stay calm. | 没关系 最重要的是保持冷静 |
| [09:04] | Okay, you know I don’t do that well. | 你也知道我没法保持冷静 |
| [09:06] | Well, just, you know what? | 这样吧 |
| [09:08] | Focus on your breathing, okay? Look-look into my eyes. | 专注深呼吸 好吗 看着我的眼睛 |
| [09:15] | I’m sorry, I’m sweaty. | 对不起 我出了好多汗 |
| [09:16] | Did you work out? | 你锻炼了吗 |
| [09:18] | No, we’re being robbed by men with guns. | 没有 我们被持枪歹徒抢劫了 |
| [09:20] | Damn it, there goes my breathing! | 该死 我没法深呼吸了 |
| [09:22] | Okay, you got to do something to help me keep my mind off | 你得做点什么 让我不去想 |
| [09:24] | what’s really going on. | 正在发生的事 |
| [09:25] | O-Okay, okay, uh, let’s see, what’s been going on with me? | 好吧 我想想 我最近有什么新鲜事 |
| [09:28] | Oh, I had my fantasy baseball draft about a week ago. | 一周前我参加了梦幻棒球选秀 |
| [09:31] | I waited too long on a catcher so I ended up | 我等接球手等了太久 结果成了 |
| [09:33] | with the White Sox backup. | 芝加哥白袜队的替补 |
| [09:34] | That’s not gonna go well. | 没什么帮助 |
| [09:37] | Also, um… | 还有 |
| [09:40] | I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. | 我最近一直在想你 |
| [09:44] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [09:46] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [09:47] | What exactly were you thinking? | 你具体想的是什么 |
| [09:49] | That-that maybe I made a mistake. | 也许我犯了个错误 |
| [09:53] | That maybe I was crazy to let you go. | 也许跟你分手是我疯了 |
| [09:56] | Well, I thought so. | 我也觉得 |
| [10:02] | Yeah, I definitely made a mistake. | 我绝对犯了个错误 |
| [10:05] | You’re making another one now by talking. | 你现在还在说话 这是另一个错误 |
| [10:08] | Let’s get moving! | 走吧 |
| [10:11] | Okay, they’re gone. | 他们走了 |
| [10:12] | We can get up now. | 我们可以起身了 |
| [10:18] | Why would you let a woman who called you a toxic narcissist | 你为什么要让一个称呼你为有毒的自恋狂的女人 |
| [10:21] | back into your life? | 回到你的生活之中 |
| [10:23] | I don’t think you get her sense of humor. | 我觉得你不懂她的幽默感 |
| [10:26] | She’s called me many things, but she’s changed. | 她骂过我很多话 但她改变了 |
| [10:29] | Has she, or did she find life | 是吗 或者是她觉得 |
| [10:30] | without a doormat husband more challenging? | 没有受气包老公的生活更加艰难 |
| [10:33] | Wow, you really don’t like her. | 你真的不喜欢她 |
| [10:35] | That’s because I’m Team Doormat. | 那是因为我是受气包这队的 |
| [10:37] | Okay, you know, that’s hurtful stuff, too. | 要知道 这话也很伤人 |
| [10:41] | Was it as hurtful as when she cleaned you out in the divorce | 比得上她离婚后让你净身出户 然后搬去俄勒冈州 |
| [10:43] | and moved to Oregon to start her soy milk empire? | 开创她的豆奶王国那么让你伤心吗 |
| [10:46] | How could she have known there was a cold wind blowing | 她怎么可能知道会刮起一阵冷风 |
| [10:48] | and its name was oat milk? | 而且风的名字是燕麦奶呢 |
| [10:52] | It’s so good. | 那非常好喝 |
| [10:53] | It really– it-it’s so foamy. | 泡沫真的很多 |
| [10:54] | Soy, oat, it’s– it doesn’t make a woman change. | 豆奶 燕麦奶 这都不能让女人改变 |
| [10:57] | – But she has changed. – How? | -但她的确变了 -怎么变了 |
| [10:59] | So many ways. | 在很多方面都变了 |
| [11:01] | I also realized I was doing something wrong, too. | 我也意识到我自己做了错事 |
| [11:04] | Stick to her. | 说她的事 |
| [11:07] | Well, she’s taken up cycling. | 她开始骑自行车了 |
| [11:09] | Oh, my God, and here I am standing in the way of love. | 天啊 我居然还挡住了两位有情人 |
| [11:12] | Go to her, Trevor. | 去找她吧 特雷弗 |
| [11:13] | Buy matching spandex shorts | 买情侣弹力短裤 |
| [11:14] | and cycle off into the sunset. | 骑着自行车消失在日落中 |
| [11:17] | You know, that sarcasm isn’t exactly | 治疗手册里 |
| [11:19] | right out of the therapy handbook. | 并没有这样的讽刺 |
| [11:21] | Oh, you want the handbook? Why are you lying to yourself? | 你想要按手册上来吗 你为什么骗自己 |
| [11:25] | Bonnie, this is somebody I once loved. | 邦妮 我曾经爱过这个女人 |
| [11:27] | I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt | 我要给她无罪推定 |
| [11:29] | that it’s gonna be different this time. | 这次她会不一样的 |
| [11:31] | I think you’re going back to what’s familiar | 我觉得你要跟你老婆和好 |
| [11:32] | because you’re scared of being alone | 是因为你害怕独处 |
| [11:34] | and you think you’re never gonna meet anyone else ever again. | 你觉得自己再也不会找到女友了 |
| [11:40] | May I please eat my Salisbury steak in peace? | 我能安静地吃我的索尔兹伯里牛排吗 |
| [11:45] | ♪ Happy birthday, dear Tammy ♪ | ♪ 祝你生日快乐 亲爱的塔米 ♪ |
| [11:49] | ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ | ♪ 祝你生日快乐 ♪ |
| [11:53] | ♪ Keep coming back ♪ | ♪ 要坚持回来哦 ♪ |
| [11:59] | Oh, thanks. Uh, hi. Tammy, alcoholic. | 谢谢 塔米 酒瘾者 |
| [12:02] | Hi, Tammy. | 塔米 |
| [12:03] | Uh, you know, thanks to everyone who actually did | 感谢所有来参加 |
| [12:05] | show up for my birthday. | 我生日的人们 |
| [12:06] | It’s my first time taking a cake. | 这是我第一次接受蛋糕 |
| [12:08] | It’s not even real, and I prefer pie, | 蛋糕都不是真的 我更喜欢派 |
| [12:10] | but thank you. | 但还是感谢你们 |
| [12:12] | The only reason I’m doing it today is because it’s important | 我今天这样做的唯一原因 |
| [12:14] | to someone who couldn’t even be bothered to be here. | 就是这仪式对一个都懒得过来的人来说很重要 |
| [12:17] | I mean, you feel me, Jim. | 你懂我的 吉姆 |
| [12:18] | You’re always saving a seat for someone who doesn’t show. | 你总是为一个不来的人留座位 |
| [12:22] | You know, one of the things that AA | 匿名戒瘾会教会我的一件事是 |
| [12:23] | has taught me is, you show up for people. | 答应好了就要出现 |
| [12:25] | If you say you’re gonna be somewhere, you’re there. | 如果你说要去哪里 你就得去 |
| [12:29] | Oh, look who’s texting me. | 瞧瞧谁在给我发短信 |
| [12:31] | We’re supposed to turn our phones off. | 我们该关掉手机的 |
| [12:32] | I just want to sit. | 我就想坐下 |
| [12:35] | So, Bonnie said she’s gonna be late, | 邦妮说她要迟到了 |
| [12:37] | and we all know what that means. | 我们都知道那是什么意思 |
| [12:41] | Hang on, I’m texting her back. | 等等 我要回她短信 |
| [12:44] | Well, I’m not even getting the three dots. That’s real nice. | 她都没有秒回我 真好 |
| [12:47] | Anyway, you know, I’m not here to complain. | 总之 我不是来抱怨的 |
| [12:50] | I’m here to celebrate the fact that I have three years of sobriety, | 我是来庆祝我坚持戒瘾三年了 |
| [12:54] | which is pretty freakin’ awesome. | 这挺棒的 |
| [12:57] | Oh, hang on, three dots. | 等等 她在回复了 |
| [12:58] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [12:59] | Bottom line is, I’m really grateful to be sober. | 总之 我很感激戒瘾 |
| [13:02] | Thanks a lot. | 非常感谢 |
| [13:10] | Uh– I don’t know anything about the road that led you to Sandra. | 我不知道是哪条路指引你找到了桑德拉 |
| [13:11] | Tell me about that. | 跟我说说 |
| [13:14] | Not much of a road. | 不能说是路 |
| [13:15] | More of a driveway, really. | 更像是车道 |
| [13:17] | Uphill, had a basketball hoop, need to shovel the snow? | 上坡 有个篮球框 得铲雪 |
| [13:20] | What-what does that mean? | 那是什么意思 |
| [13:22] | It means Sandra was the first relationship I ever had. | 意思是桑德拉是我的初恋 |
| [13:26] | Ever? | 初恋吗 |
| [13:27] | Well, there was somebody in high school, | 高中还有个女孩 |
| [13:29] | but that was more of a friendship with a girl | 但那更像是跟我喜欢的女孩的友谊 |
| [13:31] | that I liked who didn’t notice me. | 而她没有注意到我 |
| [13:34] | So you had one unrequited crush, then a wife, | 你有过一次单相思 然后就有了老婆 |
| [13:37] | and yet you’re guiding me through life. | 你居然还指导我的人生 |
| [13:40] | Yes, and I meant to tell you, I’m raising my rate. | 是啊 我还想告诉你 我要加钱 |
| [13:42] | So, this crush, you ever ask her out? | 你的暗恋对象 你约过她吗 |
| [13:44] | Oh, God, no. | 天啊 没有 |
| [13:46] | But once, I gave a report on Alaska | 但我有次做了一份阿拉斯加的报告 |
| [13:49] | and I said that I’d like to someday kayak the fjords, | 我说 有一天我想在峡湾里划独木舟 |
| [13:53] | and she said, “Wow, pretty cool.” | 她说 “挺酷的” |
| [13:58] | – What ever happened to her? – I don’t know. | -她后来在干嘛 -我不知道 |
| [13:59] | Oh, come on, you got divorced. You never looked her up? | 拜托 你都离婚了 没去调查过她吗 |
| [14:01] | She sells real estate in Mendocino. | 她在门多西诺卖房子 |
| [14:03] | Has a pet turtle. | 养了一只宠物龟 |
| [14:06] | You’ve been lonely for a whole year and you didn’t call her? | 你单身了整整一年 都没给她打过电话吗 |
| [14:09] | You can’t just pick up the phone and call somebody | 你没法就拿起手机 给一个 |
| [14:11] | you haven’t talked to in that many years. | 多年没说过话的人打电话 |
| [14:13] | Yes, you can. You pick up the phone, | 可以 你拿起手机 |
| [14:15] | you dial the sequence of numbers, they say, “Hello,” | 拨那串号码 对方说你好 |
| [14:17] | you say, “Hi, it’s Trevor, the guy you caught | 你说 我是特雷弗 |
| [14:18] | staring at you all through high school.” | 那个高中时一直盯着你看的人 |
| [14:20] | And then she hangs up. | 然后她就会挂电话 |
| [14:21] | Or… | 或者 |
| [14:22] | she’s been waiting for your call for 30 years. | 她等你的来电等了30年 |
| [14:26] | You think? | 你这么想吗 |
| [14:27] | No, probably not. | 也许不是 |
| [14:29] | But there is a good chance | 但她很有可能不会说 |
| [14:30] | she won’t call you a toxic narcissist. | 你是有毒的自恋狂 |
| [14:33] | And I’m not leaving till you do it. | 除非你打电话 否则我不走 |
| [14:35] | And you know I’m stubborn, | 你知道我很固执 |
| [14:36] | ’cause you gave me a book about it, which I never read. | 因为你给过我一本相关的书 我从没看过 |
| [14:38] | And you can’t make me. | 你不能逼我看 |
| [14:43] | Thanks for giving me a ride. | 谢谢你载我 |
| [14:45] | My hands are still shaking. | 我的手还在发抖 |
| [14:46] | Oh, yeah, that was a pretty good kiss. | 是啊 我们吻得很热烈 |
| [14:50] | So… | 那么 |
| [14:52] | was what you said in there just adrenaline talking | 你刚说的话只是因为肾上腺素吗 |
| [14:54] | or did you really mean it? | 还是真心的 |
| [14:58] | Because I don’t want to go down that road again | 因为如果你不是真心的 我可不想 |
| [15:02] | if-if it’s not real. | 重蹈覆辙 |
| [15:05] | Look, I’ve b– I’ve been thinking a lot | 我最近一直在思考 |
| [15:07] | about our relationship, and, um… | 我们的关系 |
| [15:11] | …I was just scared. | 我只是害怕了 |
| [15:13] | Not “Bank robbery with guns” scared. | 不是”持枪歹徒抢银行”那种害怕 |
| [15:15] | “Getting married and having kids” scared, | 而是”结婚生子”的害怕 |
| [15:16] | which is way worse. | 这糟糕得多 |
| [15:21] | But you’re not scared anymore? | 但你不再害怕了吗 |
| [15:24] | Oh, are you kidding? I’m terrified. | 你开玩笑吗 我吓坏了 |
| [15:27] | But I-I realized in that bank that… | 但我在银行里意识到 |
| [15:32] | …I’d die for you. | 我愿意为你牺牲 |
| [15:34] | So, yeah, let’s do this. | 所以 我们结婚吧 |
| [15:38] | I’m in. | 我同意 |
| [15:42] | So, where are you taking me, anyway? | 你这是在往哪儿开 |
| [15:43] | I actually have no idea. | 我完全不知道 |
| [15:45] | I can’t drive and be emotionally honest at the same time. | 我没法同时开车和坦诚相待 |
| [15:50] | Well, how about we just pull over and kiss some more? | 我们靠边停车 继续接吻怎么样 |
| [15:52] | That’s a solid idea. | 这点子不错 |
| [15:55] | I do like kissing. | 我的确喜欢接吻 |
| [15:57] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [16:03] | – Well, pull over. – Oh, right, right. | -靠边停车啊 -好 |
| [16:08] | Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. | 真遗憾 |
| [16:10] | She’s divorced and miserable. | 她离婚了 过得很惨 |
| [16:12] | Yes. | 太棒了 |
| [16:13] | Well, if you ever need someone to talk to… | 如果你需要跟人聊天 |
| [16:15] | No. | 不 |
| [16:16] | You want a new girlfriend, not a new patient. | 你想要新女友 不是新病人 |
| [16:19] | I mean, not as a therapist, I mean as a friend. | 不是作为心理治疗师 而是朋友 |
| [16:22] | M-More than a friend. I mean, start as friends | 超出朋友 先从朋友开始 |
| [16:24] | and see what happens. | 然后看看发生什么 |
| [16:26] | If it happens, it happens. You know, boy-girl stuff. Uh… | 发生了就发生了 男女之事 |
| [16:28] | Hey, pull it together or the wizard dies. | 好好说话 否则这巫师就得死 |
| [16:32] | How about dinner? | 一起吃晚餐怎么样 |
| [16:33] | With wine? Like a date. | 喝点红酒 像是约会 |
| [16:37] | Uh, lunch with wine could work. Sure. | 红酒午餐也行 好啊 |
| [16:41] | Sometimes I have eggs for lunch. | 有时候我中午吃鸡蛋 |
| [16:42] | Uh, like a frittata. | 像是菜肉馅煎蛋饼 |
| [16:45] | I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Uh… | 我不知道我为什么告诉你这些 |
| [16:48] | Let’s do Saturday. | 周六吧 |
| [16:50] | Sounds great. I’ll call you. | 挺好的 我给你打电话 |
| [16:55] | Yeah! That’s how it’s done. | 好耶 就该这样做 |
| [16:57] | No, it’s not, but it worked. | 不是的 但是起作用了 |
| [16:59] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [17:01] | Hand me that wizard. | 把巫师给我 |
| [17:10] | Now you are free. | 现在你自由了 |
| [17:22] | I mean, it was eerie. | 真怪异 |
| [17:24] | Like a Stephen King level of eerie. | 斯蒂芬·金级别的怪异 |
| [17:27] | Trevor smashed the wizard, it got ten degrees colder, | 特雷弗砸碎了巫师 气温降了十度 |
| [17:31] | and then Marta turned into a crow and flew away. | 然后玛塔变成一只乌鸦飞走了 |
| [17:35] | Seriously? | 真的吗 |
| [17:37] | I didn’t see it, but I went inside to get my keys | 我没亲身看到 但我进屋去拿钥匙 |
| [17:39] | and when I came back out, there was just a bird. | 等我出来 就只有一只鸟了 |
| [17:44] | I’m sorry, who’s Marta? | 不好意思 玛塔是谁 |
| [17:47] | Exactly. | 就是这效果 |
| [17:49] | All right, look, since it seems you saved Trevor’s life, | 既然你救了特雷弗的命 |
| [17:52] | you’re forgiven for missing my birthday. | 我原谅你错过了我的生日 |
| [17:55] | You’re not gonna believe what happened to me. | 你们不会相信我经历了什么 |
| [17:57] | Just know you’re gonna have to top a human | 离奇程度需要超过一个人变成了 |
| [17:59] | who turned into a crow. | 一只乌鸦 |
| [18:02] | Andy and I were in a bank robbery. | 安迪和我遭遇了银行抢劫 |
| [18:04] | He saved my life and we’re in love again. | 他救了我的命 我们又坠入爱河了 |
| [18:09] | They’re really different stories, | 这是不同的故事 |
| [18:12] | but I think Jill wins. | 但我觉得吉尔赢了 |
| [18:20] | Uh, so Trevor’s taking a three-month leave of absence? | 特雷弗邀请三个月的假吗 |
| [18:24] | Yeah. He went to lunch with his high school crush, | 是啊 他跟高中暗恋对象去吃午餐 |
| [18:26] | and now they’re going to kayak the fjords. | 现在他们要去峡湾划独木舟了 |
| [18:30] | So… | 那么 |
| [18:32] | the guy who grounds you e-emotionally | 那个每周两次给你情感禁足的人 |
| [18:35] | twice a week is gone for th-three months? | 要离开三个月了吗 |
| [18:41] | He said I’d be okay without him. What do you think about that? | 他说他不在我也没事 你觉得呢 |
| [18:44] | I’m thinking you could still Zoom with him | 我觉得如果有什么紧急事件 |
| [18:48] | if there’s an emergency, right? | 你还是可以跟他视频 对吧 |
| [18:50] | Oh, yeah, definitely. | 是可以 |
| [18:52] | And I apologize in advance for the bad choices | 我提前为我这段时间可能做出的 |
| [18:54] | I might make during this period. | 糟糕选择道歉 |
| [18:57] | Apology accepted. | 接受道歉 |
| [19:01] | Ha. You don’t mean that. | 你不是真心的 |
| [19:06] | Still not buying it. | 我还是不信 |
| [19:19] | Okay, that one counted. | 行吧 这个达标了 |