更美好的事(Better Things)第4季第4集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

时间	英文	中文
[00:46]	Wow.
[00:59]	Fuck.
[01:06]	♪ Muggy nights ♪
[01:08]	♪ The curtains drawn ♪
[01:10]	♪ In the little room downstairs ♪
[01:16]	♪ Prima… prima donna, Lord ♪
[01:18]	♪ You really should’ve been there ♪
[01:20]	♪ Sittin’ like a princess perched ♪
[01:23]	♪ In her electric chair ♪
[01:28]	♪ And it’s one more beer ♪
[01:30]	♪ And I don’t hear you ♪
[01:33]	♪ Anymore ♪
[01:36]	♪ We’ve all gone crazy lately ♪
[01:40]	♪ My friends out there ♪
[01:42]	♪ Rollin’ round the basement floor ♪
[01:46]	♪ Ooh ♪
[01:48]	♪ Oo… ♪
[01:49]	♪ Ooh ♪
[01:54]	♪ Someone saved my life tonight ♪
[01:57]	♪ Sugar bear ♪
[02:01]	♪ Almost had your hooks in me ♪
[02:04]	♪ Didn’t you, dear? ♪
[02:07]	♪ You nearly ♪
[02:09]	♪ Had me roped and tied ♪
[02:12]	♪ Altar-bound, hypnotized ♪
[02:16]	♪ Sweet freedom whispered in my ear ♪
[02:20]	♪ You’re a ♪
[02:21]	♪ Butterfly ♪
[02:25]	♪ And butterflies are free to fly ♪
[02:29]	♪ Fly away ♪
[02:33]	♪ High away ♪
[02:36]	♪ Ah… ♪
[02:38]	♪ Bye… ♪
[02:39]	♪ Bye… bye. ♪
[02:51]	Here we go.
[03:18]	I’m getting the worst hands.
[03:21]	– Me too. – Uh-oh. Don’t say those words.
[03:24]	The PC police might show up and arrest me
[03:26]	for playing cards alone with you three gorgeous women.
[03:32]	I think all this Me Too stuff is good.
[03:35]	Seeing all those horrible men being taken down.
[03:37]	Lord knows I wish my Daddy would be around
[03:40]	to get his reckoning.
[03:41]	Oh, things used to be so different.
[03:43]	I’d probably be in prison for ten life sentences.
[03:49]	Kidding. Just kidding.
[03:51]	Can’t even joke anymore?
[03:53]	Whenever a man would pinch my behind,
[03:56]	I took it as a compliment.
[03:58]	And I would pinch him right back.
[04:03]	My sexuality was my greatest asset.
[04:06]	I didn’t have higher education. I couldn’t type.
[04:09]	And yet I got hired for every job I ever applied to,
[04:12]	and I knew it was because of the way I looked.
[04:14]	– Mm… – Mm-hmm.
[04:16]	Hi!
[04:18]	– Hi!	– Hi!
[04:20]	Hmm.
[04:22]	– Mm.	– Mm.
[04:23]	Phil?
[04:25]	– What? – Phil, it’s today.
[04:28]	– Mm-mmm. – It’s today.
[04:29]	We’re not putting it off anymore.
[04:31]	Give me your spit.
[04:33]	What is that?
[04:34]	I think it’s a DNA test.
[04:36]	No, I don’t want to.
[04:37]	And the advances of my coworkers were just part of it.
[04:41]	Part of what?
[04:43]	Not your business.
[04:44]	Okay. That’s fine.
[04:45]	Let’s go. Come on.
[04:47]	Let’s just do it today. You guys don’t mind for one sec?
[04:49]	She promised me she would do this.
[04:51]	– Spit in here. – Stop it!
[04:53]	Spit in here. It’ll be fun.
[04:54]	No!
[04:56]	It does not sound fun to me.
[04:58]	I have no interest in some Irish third cousin I’ve never heard of
[05:02]	tracking me down, trying to get money out of me.
[05:04]	This is so annoying! You said you would do this.
[05:06]	I’m not going to do it.
[05:07]	– You’re gonna do it. – I’m not going to.
[05:09]	– I’m gonna get you. – You’re not.
[05:10]	– Goddamn it, Phil. – I am not…
[05:12]	Phil, stay!
[05:14]	– No! – Phil,
[05:15]	– stop it! – I’m not going to do it!
[05:18]	Phil, you want me to chase you?
[05:20]	I will chase you.
[05:21]	– You’ll never catch me. – We’re not…
[05:22]	Phyllis!
[05:23]	You w… Phil, you…
[05:24]	– Mom! – No!
[05:26]	– Phyllis! – What?!
[05:27]	This is silly.
[05:30]	You are such a child.
[05:32]	– Phil! Goddamn it! – I’m not going to. No!
[05:34]	– I’m not going. No. – Fine.
[05:36]	I’m not letting you through.
[05:37]	No. Mom.
[05:38]	I’m taking you down.
[05:40]	– Mom, give me your spit! – Ow!
[05:43]	– Stop. – What?
[05:44]	Okay. Spit!
[05:46]	Ooh.
[05:47]	Not just one spit.
[05:49]	You got to fill the whole vial.
[05:53]	Jesus, I may puke.
[05:55]	I may puke.
[05:57]	Just do it.
[06:06]	There! Go away! For God’s sake.
[06:09]	Jesus.
[06:11]	I’d better be Samoan or something cool,
[06:13]	worth doing this for.
[06:15]	Bye!
[06:16]	– Bye.	– Bye.
[06:17]	Hey, Sam. What do you call Jewish girls who won’t give blow jobs?
[06:21]	Married. Ha!
[06:22]	Good one, Hal!
[06:25]	See? She doesn’t mind.
[06:27]	Oh, my God.
[06:29]	You’re a dirty old man.
[06:31]	– Eh. – I like it.
[06:38]	After seeing three other doctors,
[06:41]	only Dr. Ballinger
[06:43]	was able to make me pain-free again.
[06:46]	Dr. Ballinger is a miracle worker.
[06:53]	Thank you.
[07:04]	What are you in for?
[07:06]	Eh, wear and tear.
[07:10]	I don’t got a good story.
[07:12]	Same.
[07:13]	When did your hands start to go bad?
[07:16]	When I was about, uh,
[07:18]	78, 79.
[07:19]	Not too long ago.
[07:22]	So, wh-what should we do?
[07:25]	Oh, man. I’m-I’m…
[07:28]	I think I’m a little emotional.
[07:30]	It took me six months to get this appointment.
[07:33]	Why’d you wait so long?
[07:35]	Because you…
[07:37]	Anyway, I’m here now, so…
[07:41]	I will do whatever it takes.
[07:42]	I know you’re the miracle worker.
[07:44]	Whatever you want to do…
[07:46]	P.T., O.T.,
[07:47]	supplements, steroids.
[07:49]	Well,
[07:51]	this side is mild to moderate,
[07:54]	and this is moderate to severe.
[07:58]	Mm.
[08:00]	Your hands are much older than you are.
[08:05]	Oh.
[08:06]	– May I touch you? – Yeah.
[08:10]	This hurt?
[08:11]	Ow. Yeah.
[08:13]	Mm.
[08:14]	How about this?
[08:16]	Yeah.
[08:20]	Mm-hmm. Yup.
[08:23]	Your muscles have atrophied.
[08:26]	Jesus. Well, what about physical therapy?
[08:30]	Won’t help. Listen, I’m a surgeon.
[08:32]	I would love to go in there and cut,
[08:34]	but your hand could wind up like this.
[08:37]	Well, what about all the patient testimonials
[08:39]	in the waiting room?
[08:40]	How am I supposed to function without opposable thumbs?
[08:43]	I’m sorry, Sam. The technology just isn’t here
[08:46]	for what you’ve got, yet.
[08:48]	You are a lot younger than your hands.
[08:51]	Jesus.
[08:52]	That’s the first time in forever anyone ever said I was young.
[08:57]	This blows dead donkey dicks.
[08:59]	Well, you don’t need hands for that.
[09:03]	It’s true.
[09:10]	Yello?
[09:11]	Sam, quick thought.
[09:13]	I spoke with my producers, and we want to move you up.
[09:15]	Oh, wow. Really?
[09:18]	Yeah, you know, I can’t stop thinking about you, and then
[09:20]	I started thinking about me. I just got tired of being
[09:23]	some gun for hire, you know?
[09:24]	I mean, fuck, I’m gonna be 30 in, like, five minutes.
[09:28]	Yeah.
[09:30]	You need to prepare yourself, Sam.
[09:31]	You’re gonna wake up and be 50, and then what are you gonna do?
[09:34]	Well,
[09:36]	I hadn’t actually thought about that.
[09:39]	I mean, you need to have something of your own, right?
[09:42]	Because if we don’t come up with it,
[09:44]	then nobody else is gonna goddamn do it.
[09:46]	Yeah.
[09:47]	Fuck, yeah.
[09:49]	And I’m aware of the irony here,
[09:51]	that technically you’re my hired gun.
[09:52]	That’s okay.
[09:53]	I’m okay with irony.
[09:55]	But I really want you to make this your own thing.
[09:58]	I think you are brilliant,
[09:59]	and I want that Sam Fox brilliant brain
[10:01]	splattered all over my show.
[10:04]	Wow. That is cool.
[10:06]	Hey, can you say that shit
[10:08]	about how brilliant you think I am to my daughters?
[10:11]	See? Fucking hilarious!
[10:13]	I am so excited.
[10:15]	I discovered you. I want everybody to know
[10:17]	that you never existed before this moment.
[10:19]	It’s gonna be amazing.
[10:20]	Think of some ideas, and then we’ll chat.
[10:22]	I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am about this.
[10:58]	Whoa.
[11:01]	O… kay.
[11:04]	Okay, boy. Okay, boy.
[11:08]	Okay, boy.
[11:12]	Get somebody to…
[11:16]	Is it gone?
[11:18]	– Nope. – Why isn’t it leaving?
[11:21]	It’s probably just scared.
[11:26]	Maybe it got a letter from Hogwarts. Heh!
[11:29]	Mom, this is serious. An owl in the house is bad luck.
[11:32]	Don’t say that!
[11:34]	So, owls have traditionally been seen as a harbinger of death,
[11:37]	but they can also be a sign of change and fertility.
[11:41]	So which is it?
[11:44]	We should take the snake out.
[11:45]	– Owls eat snakes, shit licker. – Not baby ones.
[11:48]	Oh, so you want
[11:49]	– to murder a baby owl? – Nuh-uh.
[11:51]	That ain’t no baby owl.
[11:53]	No, I just want to s… scare it off.
[11:54]	You want me to go get my dad?
[11:57]	I’m gonna go get my dad.
[12:11]	Did she just go in there?
[12:16]	Uh…
[12:20]	Why do you have “penis” on the wall?
[12:22]	We have a lot of penises on the wall.
[12:27]	We should really…
[12:29]	take the penises off the wall.
[12:32]	It’s not good with company, you know?
[12:34]	Hi. I’m Duke.
[12:49]	I promise I’ll be careful
[12:51]	if you promise not to peck my eyes out.
[13:09]	Take the penises off the wall.
[13:15]	Oh!
[13:18]	– Wow. – Whoa.
[13:21]	Cool.
[13:23]	Gosh, look at its little beak.
[13:25]	Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah.
[13:27]	– What? – You don’t touch it.
[13:29]	With the finger oil, his mother may kill him
[13:31]	or not come back or something.
[13:33]	Actually, Mom, that’s a myth.
[13:35]	You just want to be careful, you don’t want to hurt it.
[13:37]	Mm.
[13:42]	Oh, my God.
[13:45]	Be careful. So soft.
[13:49]	All right, little guy,
[13:51]	we got to get you back where you belong.
[13:54]	Okay, I got to, like, call…
[13:57]	Animal Control or something.
[13:59]	We should name it first.
[14:00]	– What should we name it? – What’s his name? Edwin.
[14:03]	– Edwin. – Oh, my God. It’s perfect.
[14:05]	Edwin. Oh, my God.
[14:07]	Edwin, oh, my God. Edwin, Edwin, Edwin.
[14:09]	– The softest thing in the world. – Okay, let’s get him
[14:11]	– to… because… – Be careful. Be careful.
[14:13]	– Be careful. Be careful. – I got it.
[14:14]	– Oh, my God. – You’re like his mommy.
[14:16]	Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
[14:20]	Hi, José.
[14:22]	Hey. Hi, Sam.
[14:23]	Hi.
[14:25]	Everything okay?
[14:27]	Uh, yeah, yeah.
[14:29]	The pets are fine.
[14:30]	It’s just that I had them take away the girls.
[14:32]	Couldn’t housebreak ’em.
[14:35]	– Uh, Reinita’s behaving herself? – Oh, yeah.
[14:37]	She’s the best. I’m keeping her.
[14:38]	Ah. She made a list for me the other day.
[14:41]	All the colleges she wants to go to… all out of state.
[14:44]	– Whoa. – And she said, “Papi, if I get
[14:46]	into these schools, can you help pay for them?”
[14:48]	What can I say to that?
[14:49]	I want to give her everything, you know?
[14:51]	Yeah, she’s a really great kid.
[14:53]	Yeah. Between that and her quinceañera next month,
[14:55]	my wife thinks we should move to Phoenix to save money.
[14:58]	– Really? – Yeah. What am I supposed to do for work?
[15:00]	Nothing grows there.
[15:02]	You know, maybe we should team up.
[15:06]	What do you mean?
[15:07]	Frankie was talking about doing one of those…
[15:10]	– A quinceañera? – Yeah.
[15:12]	But a-aren’t you guys Jewish?
[15:13]	– Mm. – I mean, even though I do
[15:15]	bring you a Christmas tree every Hanukkah.
[15:17]	Yeah. Heh!
[15:18]	No, I mean, is that weird? Is that bad?
[15:22]	They’re a lot of fun. She should.
[15:25]	Hey, have you seen your new trees?
[15:27]	Grapefruit, Meyer lemon and kumquat.
[15:30]	– You like the pots? – They’re so gorgeous!
[15:32]	– Yeah? – Thank you, José. I love it.
[15:34]	– Of course. – José?
[15:36]	I’m so glad you haven’t left.
[15:37]	– Oh, hi. – It seems
[15:39]	you’ve pruned the wrong branches on my plum tree.
[15:42]	– ¿Qué? – Mm?
[15:43]	– I’m pretty sure I didn’t. – Afraid you did.
[15:45]	Okay. I’ll go check it out then.
[15:47]	– No, no, no, no. – What?
[15:48]	– What are you doing? – What?
[15:49]	– It’s not your day. – I know that,
[15:50]	but he likes my latkes. Come along, José.
[15:53]	– No. – She made it a little weird.
[15:55]	Oh, my God!
[15:57]	That’s so rude.
[15:59]	– Sam, I got it. – He won’t be long.
[16:00]	– Ugh. – I’m coming, Phil.
[16:02]	– Phil! – Good, good.
[16:03]	– Be nice! – I will!
[16:08]	Is this the Meyer lemon?
[16:10]	Oh, I love it.
[16:14]	Mom! Mom!
[16:17]	Mom, can Pepper start the El Camino?
[16:21]	Just-just start it.
[16:22]	Oh, God. Geez!
[16:24]	Say yes, Sam!
[16:26]	Oh, God.
[16:28]	Just don’t tell your mom!
[16:29]	– Oh, my God! – I know!
[16:33]	Go, go!
[16:37]	Your chariot, miss.
[16:39]	Oh, thank you kindly.
[16:58]	What happened? What happened?
[17:01]	What happened?
[17:03]	Oh, okay.
[17:04]	Let me see. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
[17:06]	Raise your hand in the air.
[17:08]	I got you. I got you. It’s okay.
[17:10]	Okay. It’s okay, sweetie. It’s okay.
[17:13]	Let me just wrap it up.
[17:15]	What is wrong with you?!
[17:17]	I’m sorry, I can’t help it.
[17:18]	Get a towel!
[17:20]	– Is it bad? – It’s okay, baby. No.
[17:22]	– Honey, honey, just calm down. – Ow! Ow!
[17:23]	Lay your head back.	Lay your head back. Yeah.
[17:26]	You just cut it a little bit, sweetie.
[17:28]	Yes. It’s okay.
[17:29]	– It’s okay. – Mom, is it “qualm with”
[17:32]	or “qualm about”? Mom!
[17:34]	Frankie, call Pepper’s mom!
[17:37]	– It’s okay, honey. – Mom, Chewy’s got something.
[17:41]	Chewy, release!
[17:42]	What is that? Come here, come here.
[17:44]	Duke, Duke, where are the keys?
[17:46]	– Duke, where are the keys?! – I don’t know.
[17:48]	Looks like a worm or something.
[17:50]	– Duke. – Pepper has them.
[17:52]	– Okay. Okay. – He swallowed it.
[17:54]	Oh. Oh, God.
[17:55]	Oh, shit.
[17:57]	Oh, Jesus.
[17:58]	It’s okay. That’s fine.
[18:00]	That’s fine. No, no, no, no, no.
[18:01]	Don’t look at that. Don’t look at… Pepper?
[18:03]	Pepper! Okay.
[18:05]	Frankie!
[18:07]	Good boy. What a good poop.
[18:09]	Yes, a good poop.
[18:11]	Good boy. Who made a good poop?
[18:12]	– Mom, where’s my black dress? – What?
[18:14]	– Like, with the neck. – Check your closet.
[18:16]	No, it’s not there, and I have to go to work.
[18:18]	Well, I’m sorry. I’m kind of busy
[18:20]	’cause I have to sift through Chewy’s shit right now,
[18:23]	so maybe you can look yourself?
[18:24]	– Ew, Mom. That’s disgusting. – Yeah,
[18:26]	and she’s probably gonna have to put him down, too.
[18:28]	What?!
[18:28]	– Frankie! – He tasted human flesh.
[18:30]	Mom, you can’t kill Chewy.
[18:32]	– Nobody’s killing Chewy. – Mom,
[18:33]	– I’m gonna be late. – So wear something else.
[18:35]	I can’t wear something else ’cause I have my period.
[18:38]	Max, can you just check the laundry room
[18:40]	because, I’m sorry, full disclosure,
[18:42]	I forgot to put the load in last night.
[18:44]	– Sorry. – Mom, the laundry?
[18:46]	And, Duke, no one’s killing anyone.
[18:48]	– Promise? – Yes, I promise.
[18:50]	Chewy’s gonna be around for a long time.
[18:52]	Unless that coyote comes back, you know.
[18:55]	You know, Mom, if you don’t
[18:56]	do the laundry and we think you are,
[18:58]	it’s kind of messed up.
[18:59]	I was counting on that to be clean.
[19:01]	So sorry.
[19:03]	Oh, my God.
[19:05]	I didn’t check the laundry.
[19:13]	Mom, get out.
[19:14]	Oh, my God. Nothing fits. I’m so bloated.
[19:17]	I’m sorry that you feel bad,
[19:20]	but you have to learn to rein this shit in, okay?
[19:23]	I never took my period out on anybody the way that you do.
[19:26]	Oh, mm, sorry, Mom.
[19:28]	Maybe I should just go, like, lay down in my trailer,
[19:29]	– right? – What?
[19:31]	This is actual work,
[19:33]	Mom. I have to be on my feet all night.
[19:34]	It’s not like some movie set.
[19:36]	Max, I know you’re a little stressed out
[19:38]	and this is your first job, but that doesn’t mean
[19:41]	you get to be super shitty to me whenever you want.
[19:44]	Mom, I’m not being super shitty. You’re so dramatic.
[19:46]	I can’t believe I still have to put up with this bullshit.
[19:49]	You realize you live here rent-free, right?
[19:52]	– You do realize that? – Oh, you want me to go?
[19:54]	– I’ll go. I am fucking gone. – Good.
[19:57]	The second I save up some money.
[19:58]	You have a paycheck. What’s stopping you?
[20:00]	You think I won’t?
[20:01]	Goodbye. Good.
[20:03]	Your dirty dress is in the laundry room.
[20:05]	My dad said I can live with him whenever I want.
[20:06]	Oh, that old chestnut. Perfect.
[20:09]	– That’s great. Go, go. Great. – Great.
[20:12]	– Great. Great.	– Great. Great.
[20:15]	You know what would be great, Max?
[20:18]	If you helped me.
[20:19]	It would be great if you helped me.
[20:22]	If you cleaned up after yourself,
[20:24]	that would be great.
[20:26]	If you helped me with your sisters,
[20:28]	that would be great.
[20:29]	Kids aren’t supposed to help their mom.
[20:31]	Their mom is supposed to help them.
[20:33]	Oh, is that the law? I didn’t realize
[20:35]	that I was breaking, like, the mommy law.
[20:37]	Yeah. And great job you’re doing, by the way, Mom.
[20:40]	You know, Frankie basically does whatever the fuck she wants,
[20:42]	and I-I’m probably gonna be fired now, so…
[20:45]	Oh, yeah. I’m bad. That’s bad.
[20:47]	– I’m a bad mommy. – No, you’re a disaster, Mom.
[20:52]	And you don’t always have to be so hard
[20:54]	just ’cause you don’t know what it’s like to be a woman anymore.
[21:00]	You cunt.
[21:03]	What?
[21:06]	You’re a cunt, Max.
[21:08]	– I’m a cunt? – Yep.
[21:10]	You’re a cunt.
[21:12]	You’re a cunt.
[21:14]	No, Max. You’re a cunt.
[21:16]	No, you’re a cunt, Mom.
[21:18]	No, you’re a cunt, Max.
[21:20]	No, you’re a fucking cunt, Mom.
[21:22]	– You’re a fucking cunt, Max. – No, you’re a fucking cunt, Mom.
[21:24]	You’re a fucking cunt, Max.
[21:26]	You’re a big fucking cunt, Mom.
[21:29]	You’re a big fucking cunt,
[21:31]	your sister’s an asshole,
[21:32]	and your other sister’s great!
[21:34]	Aw, thanks, Mom!
[21:36]	Love you, Mom!
[21:53]	Oh, my God.
[22:00]	I’m sorry.
[22:01]	No.
[22:02]	I am a cunt.
[22:03]	No. I’m a cunt.
[22:06]	No, you’re not.
[22:08]	You’re the best.
[22:09]	And I am such a cunt.
[22:12]	Well…
[22:17]	My Uncle Sid called me a cunt.
[22:19]	I was nine.
[22:21]	Uncle Sid?
[22:23]	He’s dead now.
[22:25]	Fuck you, Uncle Sid.
[22:33]	Aw.
[22:35]	I love you.
[22:37]	And I love you.
[22:39]	I don’t want you to move out.
[22:44]	But I do.
[22:46]	So you shouldn’t.
[22:48]	But please move out soon.
[22:51]	But don’t.
[22:55]	Oh, wow.
[22:56]	What?
[22:58]	I just realized
[22:59]	you’re gonna have to go through this three times.
[23:01]	Oh, Jesus Christ.

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