| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Hey. How’s my little buddy doing? | 我的小家伙怎么样了 |
| [00:03] | Well, he’s still got that goop in his eye, but otherwise, fine. | 它眼里依然粘粘的 除此之外没事 |
| [00:07] | I meant Tammy. I miss her. | 我是说塔米 我想念她 |
| [00:09] | Oh, please. You miss her doing your job for you. | 拜托 你是想念她替你工作 |
| [00:12] | Yeah, exactly. So when do I get her back? | 完全对 我什么时候能要回她 |
| [00:14] | Sorry, babe, Tammy’s really helping me get things ready | 抱歉 宝贝 塔米正在帮我准备 |
| [00:16] | – for our grand opening. – Isn’t she a beaut? | -盛大的开业 -它很漂亮吧 |
| [00:21] | Hold on a second, Bon… | 等等 邦妮 |
| [00:22] | Hey, really nice. | 非常美 |
| [00:24] | I’ll be in the men’s room. | 我去男厕了 |
| [00:25] | – Good choice. – Oh, hey. | -好选择 -对了 |
| [00:27] | You looking for high arc, | 你想要高弧 |
| [00:28] | low arc, straight shot? | 低弧 还是直线 |
| [00:32] | Your call. | 你来定 |
| [00:33] | He trusts me. Sweet! | 他信任我 太好了 |
| [00:36] | Oh, my God, you’ve got her installing toilets? | 天啊 你让她装厕所 |
| [00:40] | That’s so degrading. | 太不体面了 |
| [00:41] | Yeah. What do you need her for? | 是的 你要她做什么 |
| [00:42] | Installing a toilet. Love you. Bye. | 装厕所 爱你 拜拜 |
| [00:45] | If my fiancé didn’t have oral sex down to a science | 要不是我未婚夫专精口交 |
| [00:47] | I would’ve left him a long time ago. | 我早就离开他了 |
| [00:51] | So, this is my mother, Bonnie. | 这是我妈妈 邦妮 |
| [00:54] | Mom, this is Stacy. | 妈妈 这是史黛西 |
| [00:55] | Nice to meet you. Ooh, I should probably wash my hands first. | 很高兴见到你 我应该先洗手 |
| [00:57] | I’ve been pulling rats out of traps all morning. | 我整个早上都在从捕鼠器上取老鼠 |
| [01:00] | – We’re studying, Mom. – Got it. | -我们在学习 -知道了 |
| [01:02] | Hey, Stacy, is that your motorcycle out front? | 史黛西 前面的摩托是你的吗 |
| [01:04] | – No. – It’s really cool. | -不是 -非常酷 |
| [01:06] | Sweet shade of blue, real vintage-y vibe. | 漂亮的蓝色 非常有复古感 |
| [01:08] | Still not hers, Mom. | 依然不是她的 妈妈 |
| [01:10] | Good. ‘Cause I was gonna say, | 很好 因为我正想说 |
| [01:11] | you’re a little small for a big bike like that. | 你这小身板骑不了大摩托 |
| [01:13] | She drives a Prius, Mom. | 她开的是普锐斯 妈妈 |
| [01:15] | Prius, huh? Do strangers just hop into your back seat | 普锐斯 陌生人会坐你后座上 |
| [01:17] | thinking you’re an Uber driver? | 以为你是优步司机吗 |
| [01:20] | – ‘Cause on the news, they say that happens a lot. – Mom! | -因为新闻上说经常发生 -妈妈 |
| [01:22] | Christy! | 克丽丝蒂 |
| [01:25] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [01:26] | It’s okay. I have one of those, too. | 没事 我妈妈也这样 |
| [01:29] | Oh, you don’t have one of those. | 不 你没这样的妈妈 |
| [01:30] | No one’s got one of those. | 没有任何人有这样的妈妈 |
| [01:32] | Do you listen to that podcast, The Mother of All Problems? | 你听过播客《问题之母》吗 |
| [01:34] | No. What is it? | 没听过 是什么 |
| [01:35] | This woman tells these crazy-ass stories about her mother. | 一个女人讲她妈妈的疯狂故事 |
| [01:37] | It’ll make you grateful for the mom you have. | 那会令你感激你有这样的妈妈 |
| [01:40] | Christy! | 克丽丝蒂 |
| [01:41] | I’m stranded on the bowl! | 我困在马桶上 |
| [01:43] | Need another roll! | 需要一卷纸 |
| [01:46] | Oh, I love it when this happens. | 我喜欢发生这种事 |
| [01:48] | Sometimes I get a whole hour. | 有时我能清静一个小时 |
| [01:55] | Hey, listeners. | 听众们 |
| [01:56] | Welcome to my podcast, The Mother of All Problems. | 欢迎收听我的播客《问题之母》 |
| [01:59] | I’m your host, Violet. | 我是你们的主持 维奥莉特 |
| [02:00] | Violet? My Violet? | 维奥莉特 我家维奥莉特吗 |
| [02:02] | The holidays are around the corner, | 节日季快到了 |
| [02:04] | so great time to dive into horror stories | 所以正适合讲述 |
| [02:06] | about growing up with a drunken stripper | 我和我不幸称之为妈妈的 |
| [02:08] | who I unfortunately had to call Mommy. | 酒鬼脱衣舞女的恐怖成长故事 |
| [02:12] | Wait, I’m the Mother of All Problems?! | 等等 我是问题之母吗 |
| [02:26] | So, when does Adam’s bar open? | 亚当的酒吧何时开业 |
| [02:28] | One week from today. | 一周后 |
| [02:30] | I can’t believe our dream is finally coming true. | 我不敢相信我们的梦想终于要成真了 |
| [02:32] | Wait a minute– your dream? | 等等 你的梦想 |
| [02:34] | You’ve been complaining since he bought it. | 他买下那地方以后 你一直在抱怨 |
| [02:36] | That’s not how I remember it. | 我记得不是这样 |
| [02:38] | You said Adam has no experience, | 你说亚当没经验 |
| [02:40] | no business plan, and I quote, “He’s so stupid, | 没商业计划 原话是”他太蠢了 |
| [02:43] | I can’t believe how stupid he is.” | 蠢到令我难以相信” |
| [02:45] | I said, “That’s not how I remember it.” | 我说了”我记得不是这样” |
| [02:49] | My daughter has a podcast | 我女儿有个播客 |
| [02:51] | about what a terrible mother I am. | 在讲我是个多糟糕的妈妈 |
| [02:52] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [02:54] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [02:57] | Tell us everything. | 给我们讲讲 |
| [02:58] | Well, I was bitching to my study partner | 我在和我的学习搭档抱怨 |
| [03:00] | about what a horrible mom you are, | 你是个多么糟糕的妈妈 |
| [03:02] | and she told me about this podcast that would cheer me up. | 她说有个播客能令我开心 |
| [03:05] | It did not. | 并没有 |
| [03:08] | Violet never mentioned it to you? | 维奥莉特从没对你提过吗 |
| [03:10] | We haven’t spoken in over a year. | 我们一年多没说话了 |
| [03:13] | She asked for space, and, being the healthy mother in recovery that I am, | 她说她需要空间 作为一个恢复中的健康妈妈 |
| [03:17] | I knew it was important to respect her wishes. | 我知道尊重她的意愿很重要 |
| [03:21] | And she changed her number. | 而且她换了电话 |
| [03:24] | How bad is it? | 有多糟 |
| [03:25] | Really bad. Couldn’t be worse. | 非常糟 不能更糟了 |
| [03:27] | She tells the truth. | 她说的是真相 |
| [03:31] | What? The irony of this is delicious. | 怎么了 这事太讽刺了 |
| [03:37] | I remember this one night | 我记得有天晚上 |
| [03:38] | my mom barged into my room, drunk off her ass, | 我妈妈闯入我的房间 醉得一塌糊涂 |
| [03:41] | and started yelling at me for stealing her car. | 开始大声训斥我偷了她的车 |
| [03:43] | Turned out she left the car at a 7-Eleven, | 结果是 她把车留在了711便利店旁 |
| [03:46] | which I figured out while cleaning up the Slurpee | 这是我在打扫她吐在我衣橱里的 |
| [03:48] | she threw up in my closet. | 思乐冰饮料时搞清楚的 |
| [03:50] | Wild cherry, if anyone was wondering. | 野黑樱桃味 如果有人好奇的话 |
| [03:54] | So, cheer up, Lisa from Portland, | 所以别难受了 波特兰的丽莎 |
| [03:55] | your mom’s minivan getting repossessed | 你妈妈的小货车被收回 |
| [03:57] | might be a good thing. | 也许是好事 |
| [03:59] | – Our next e-mail is from Dan in Tex… – Turn it off. | -下封邮件来自德州的丹… -关掉 |
| [04:02] | I have to move. | 我必须搬家了 |
| [04:04] | Are they sending people to Mars yet? | 他们开始送人上火星了吗 |
| [04:07] | Honey, I know this is hard. | 亲爱的 我知道这很难 |
| [04:10] | I remember how humiliating it was | 我记得我儿子拿我照片 |
| [04:12] | when my son brought a picture of me | 去学校上展示讲述课时 |
| [04:14] | to school for show and tell. | 我有多羞辱 |
| [04:16] | What’s wrong with that? | 那又怎么了 |
| [04:16] | It was my mug shot. | 那是我的入案照片 |
| [04:20] | Okay, that’s bad. | 好吧 确实挺糟 |
| [04:21] | But Violet is telling thousands of people | 但维奥莉特在对上千人说 |
| [04:23] | every awful thing I ever did. | 我做的每一件坏事 |
| [04:25] | Hundreds of thousands. | 数十万人 |
| [04:26] | Wendy! | 温蒂 |
| [04:29] | The episodes have clever titles. | 每集的标题还挺机智的 |
| [04:31] | Let’s listen to “Jell-O Shots and the Truth About Santa.” | 我们来听听”果冻杯和圣诞老人的真相”吧 |
| [04:33] | That’s enough. We’re done listening. | 够了 不听了 |
| [04:35] | – Thanks. Ooh! – There’s one called | -谢谢 -有一集叫 |
| [04:37] | “My Grandmother, the Life Preserver.” | “我的外婆 救命稻草” |
| [04:39] | Well, maybe we have time for one more. | 或许我们还有时间听一集 |
| [04:43] | No. Please don’t tell the school bus story. | 不 求你别说校车的事 |
| [04:47] | Not true! | 不是真的 |
| [04:48] | Only one of my boobs popped out! | 我只露了一边胸 |
| [04:52] | Still going, huh? | 还在听呢 |
| [04:53] | I can’t stop. I keep thinking, | 我停不下来 我一直在想 |
| [04:55] | “Maybe in the next episode she’ll say something nice.” | 或许下一集她会说些好话 |
| [04:57] | Quit torturing yourself. | 别再折磨自己了 |
| [04:59] | Easy for you to say– she calls you the Life Preserver. | 你说起来当然容易 她称你为救命稻草 |
| [05:02] | I know. It’s so sweet. | 我知道 真贴心 |
| [05:04] | Adorable. I just wish Violet would hate me to my face | 真可爱 我只是希望维奥莉特能当面恨我 |
| [05:06] | and stop venting for the world to hear. | 而不是发泄给全世界听 |
| [05:08] | Look, you’ve got two choices. | 听着 你有两个选择 |
| [05:10] | You can either keep listening to the podcast | 你可以继续听播客 |
| [05:12] | and feel sorry for yourself, or you could just call her. | 可怜自己 或者你可以给她打电话 |
| [05:16] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [05:22] | Okay, you have one choice. | 好 你只有一个选择 |
| [05:23] | How can I call her? I don’t even have her number. | 我怎么给她打电话 我都没她号码 |
| [05:26] | She changed it, because– in case you forgot– | 她换了 因为如果你忘了的话 |
| [05:28] | I am the Mother of All Problems. | 我是问题之母 |
| [05:30] | – I have her number. – What? | -我有她的号码 -什么 |
| [05:32] | Well, it’s not called The Grandmother of All Problems. | 播客又不叫”问题之姥” |
| [05:36] | In fact, you should call her from my phone. That way she’ll answer. | 实际上 你应该用我的手机打 这样她会接 |
| [05:39] | – God, you’re shady. – What are you waiting for? | -天啊 你真狡猾 -你在等什么 |
| [05:42] | I need to figure out what I’m gonna say first. | 我要想清楚我该说什么 |
| [05:43] | Don’t think about it. Just speak from your heart. | 别想了 说发自内心的话 |
| [05:45] | Also, it’s ringing. | 而且正在拨打中 |
| [05:48] | Oh, good. Voice mail. | 太好了 语音信箱 |
| [05:49] | Just don’t do that weird thing you always do. | 别发你总是发的怪声 |
| [05:51] | What weird thing? Hi! Violet! | 什么怪声 维奥莉特 |
| [05:53] | It’s me, your mom. | 是我 你妈妈 |
| [05:55] | Uh… so, doot-dah-doo… | 那么 嘟哒嘟 |
| [05:57] | That’s the weird thing. | 就是这个怪声 |
| [06:00] | So, heard your podcast. | 我听了你的播客 |
| [06:01] | Would love to chitty-chat about that. | 我想和你谈谈那个播客 |
| [06:04] | Or anything. | 或任何事 |
| [06:07] | I haven’t talked to you in such a long time. | 我很久没和你说过话了 |
| [06:09] | Of course, I’m not the one who changed her number. | 当然了 换电话的人不是我 |
| [06:12] | But not pointing fingers. | 但我不是怪你 |
| [06:16] | Doot-dah-doo. | 嘟哒嘟 |
| [06:20] | Hey, good news. | 好消息 |
| [06:22] | I’m in law school now. | 我现在上了法学院 |
| [06:24] | Yep. Learnin’ about torts. | 是的 在学《侵权法》[果酱饼] |
| [06:27] | Turns out they’re not just dessert. | 原来那不只指甜点 |
| [06:30] | Wrap it up. | 快说完 |
| [06:32] | Okay, well, uh… | 好的 |
| [06:34] | it’s me, your mom, Christy. | 是我 你妈妈 克丽丝蒂 |
| [06:37] | End of voice mail. | 语音信息结束 |
| [06:39] | Boy, I was wrong– you should have thought about it first. | 天啊 我错了 你应该提前想好 |
| [06:48] | This place looks fantastic! | 这里看起来真棒 |
| [06:50] | It’s even better than we dreamed it. | 比我们的梦想还好 |
| [06:53] | I made a huge mistake. | 我犯了个大错 |
| [06:56] | Well, I’m not giving the ring back. | 我不会还你戒指的 |
| [06:58] | The bar. This is never gonna work, lady. | 酒吧永远不可能成功的 女士 |
| [07:02] | What happened here? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [07:03] | I was picking beers. | 我在选啤酒 |
| [07:05] | By drinking them. | 通过试喝 |
| [07:08] | So many people are gonna have to come in this place | 必须来很多人 花很多钱 |
| [07:11] | and spend so much money for this joint to work. | 这地方才可能成功 |
| [07:14] | This chair… | 这把椅子 |
| [07:16] | has to bring in a thousand dollars a week, | 每周必须赚一千美元 |
| [07:18] | and-and this chair and this chair… | 还有这把椅子 这把椅子 |
| [07:21] | and nobody’s gonna want to sit in that chair, | 没人会坐那把椅子 |
| [07:23] | ’cause it’s right under the air conditioning. | 因为正好在空调下 |
| [07:27] | Aw, honey, I think you’re just having | 亲爱的 我觉得你只是 |
| [07:29] | a case of pre-opening jitters. Completely normal. | 开业前有点紧张 非常正常 |
| [07:31] | I have no experience, and I spent all of my money. | 我没有经验 花光了所有钱 |
| [07:35] | Why would I do that? | 我为什么这样做 |
| [07:37] | Well, that’s exactly what… | 这正是我… |
| [07:38] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [07:41] | When I asked you that very question, | 当我问你那个问题时 |
| [07:43] | you confidently replied that you have a dream | 你自信地回答说你有一个 |
| [07:46] | that’s important to you, | 对你很重要的梦想 |
| [07:47] | and you want to feel like your life has purpose again. | 你希望你的人生再次拥有目标 |
| [07:49] | “Purpose” Sounds like “Porpoise.” | “目标”听起来像”海豚” |
| [07:53] | Hey, boss, your coasters just arrived. | 老板 你的杯垫到了 |
| [07:55] | Ugh. I bought 10,000 of ’em– 10,000! | 我买了一万个 一万个啊 |
| [07:59] | – The delivery guy needs a check, so… – Not now! | -送货员要支票 -现在不行 |
| [08:02] | Oh. Family drama. I’ll go flirt with him. | 家庭狗血 我去和他调情 |
| [08:05] | Do you know how many drinks I have to sell | 你知道我得卖多少杯酒 |
| [08:07] | to use 10,000 coasters? | 才能用掉一万个杯垫吗 |
| [08:10] | Ten thousand? | 一万杯吗 |
| [08:11] | I don’t know, maybe. | 我不知道 大概吧 |
| [08:15] | Look at me. | 看着我 |
| [08:16] | Adam, look at me. | 亚当 看着我 |
| [08:17] | You have overcome far bigger obstacles than opening a bar. | 你克服过比开酒吧更大的困难 |
| [08:21] | You were a successful Hollywood stuntman. | 你曾是个成功的好莱坞特技演员 |
| [08:23] | How many people can say that? | 多少人能这样说呢 |
| [08:26] | You fought your way back from a terrible accident. | 你从糟糕的事故中走了出来 |
| [08:28] | How many people can say that? | 多少人能这样说呢 |
| [08:30] | You are in a successful relationship with me, | 你和我谈了成功的恋爱 |
| [08:32] | and I can tell you, no one has ever been able to say that. | 我可以告诉你 没人能这样说 |
| [08:36] | I hired waitresses. | 我雇了女服务员 |
| [08:37] | I hired a bartender. | 我雇了男酒保 |
| [08:39] | They’re gonna want to be paid– with money. | 雇他们都是要花钱付工资的 |
| [08:43] | You’re gonna make it work, | 你会成功的 |
| [08:45] | and you’re not gonna do it alone. | 你不是独自一人 |
| [08:46] | I know. I hired waitresses. | 我知道 我雇了女服务员 |
| [08:48] | I hired a bartender. I… Now… | 我雇了男酒保 我… |
| [08:50] | zip, zip, zip it. | 闭嘴 |
| [08:52] | The point is this bar is gonna be a huge success. | 重点是 这个酒吧会非常成功 |
| [08:55] | It’s gonna blow up! | 会爆红 |
| [08:57] | Yes. We could blow it up and collect the insurance money. | 对 我们可以爆破了这里 拿保险金 |
| [09:01] | That’s ridiculous. | 太荒谬了 |
| [09:02] | It’s also much more difficult than you think. | 而且那比你想的难多了 |
| [09:06] | Okay, State of Washington v. International Shoe. Go. | 好 华盛顿州诉国际鞋业公司案 开始 |
| [09:12] | Stacy. | 史黛西 |
| [09:14] | I wasn’t gonna say anything, | 我本来不想说 |
| [09:15] | but I know who you are. | 但我知道你是谁 |
| [09:16] | You’re the Mother of All Problems. | 你是问题之母 |
| [09:19] | Son of a bitch. | 该死 |
| [09:23] | How’d you find out? | 你怎么知道的 |
| [09:24] | I guess you haven’t listened to today’s podcast. | 我猜你没听今天的播客 |
| [09:28] | So, my mom left me a voice mail. | 我妈妈给我留了语音信息 |
| [09:30] | I can’t tell if it’s sincere or deeply manipulative. | 我不知道她是真心的 还是想操纵人心 |
| [09:34] | So you decide. | 你们来决定吧 |
| [09:35] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [09:36] | Hi! Violet! | 维奥莉特 |
| [09:38] | It’s me, your mom. | 是我 你妈妈 |
| [09:42] | So, um… | 那么 |
| [09:45] | doot-dah-doo… | 嘟哒嘟 |
| [09:47] | Turn it off. | 关掉 |
| [09:48] | I… know this may not be the best time to ask, | 我知道现在问这个不合适 |
| [09:51] | but did you really take her to a birthday party | 但你真的带她去参加生日派对 |
| [09:53] | and not come back for two days? | 然后走了两天都没回来吗 |
| [09:55] | Yes. But the family I left her with | 是啊 但那家人 |
| [09:58] | gave her sushi for the first time that weekend. | 在那个周末让她第一次吃到寿司了呢 |
| [10:01] | Does she mention that? | 她提到了吗 |
| [10:03] | I’m asking. Does she mention that? | 我在问你呢 她提到了吗 |
| [10:05] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [10:07] | Wow. Stacy. Well, | 史黛西 |
| [10:10] | I got to tell you, you’re back and the motorcycle’s back. | 我得告诉你 你回来了 摩托车也回来了 |
| [10:12] | If it’s really not yours, somebody’s following you. | 如果那真的不是你的 那就有人在跟踪你 |
| [10:15] | Oh, my God, you’re the Life Preserver. | 天啊 你是救命稻草 |
| [10:17] | Yes, I am. Would you like a picture? | 是啊 你想合照吗 |
| [10:19] | Yes. | 好 |
| [10:21] | Honey, do you mind? | 亲爱的 你介意吗 |
| [10:27] | Scrunch together. | 靠在一起 |
| [10:36] | I thought I was leaving that voice mail for one person, | 我还以为我留言是给她一个人的 |
| [10:38] | not everyone in the world. | 而不是给全世界 |
| [10:40] | I have a question. | 我有个问题 |
| [10:41] | What’s “Doot-dah-doo”? | 嘟哒嘟是什么 |
| [10:44] | Not now, Jill. | 现在不是时候 吉尔 |
| [10:46] | I thought when I got sober all this stuff | 我想着我戒瘾后 |
| [10:48] | with Violet would get better. | 跟维奥莉特的关系会变好 |
| [10:49] | Well, you’ve gotten better. | 你变好了 |
| [10:51] | You’re not who you were, and that’s a big deal. | 你不再是过去那个人 这是件大事 |
| [10:53] | I just wish she could see that. | 我只是希望她能看见 |
| [10:55] | You should tell her. | 你该告诉她 |
| [10:56] | But in person. | 但是是当面告诉 |
| [10:57] | Doot-dah-do not leave another message. | 嘟哒嘟别再留言了 |
| [11:02] | What do you think, Marjorie? | 你怎么觉得 玛乔丽 |
| [11:03] | I might be the wrong person to ask. | 也许问我不合适 |
| [11:05] | I don’t have a relationship with my son. | 我跟我儿子关系不好 |
| [11:09] | So all I can do is focus on my sobriety | 所以我就专注于戒瘾 |
| [11:12] | and hope that one day he’ll forgive me. | 希望有一天他会原谅我 |
| [11:13] | Oh, poo to that. | 胡扯 |
| [11:17] | My mom died before we were able to figure out our stuff. | 我妈和我重修旧好前她就去世了 |
| [11:20] | Don’t wait. You could die, Christy. | 别等了 你可能去世的 克丽丝蒂 |
| [11:24] | And call your son, ’cause you’re definitely gonna die before her. | 给你儿子打电话 因为你绝对在她之前去世 |
| [11:27] | New bar opening this Friday. Free wings with this flyer. | 本周五新酒吧开业了 拿传单送免费鸡翅 |
| [11:30] | New bar. Free wings. | 新酒吧 免费鸡翅 |
| [11:32] | Flyer. Free. | 传单 免费 |
| [11:33] | Wings. New. | 鸡翅 新 |
| [11:35] | Where have you been? | 你去哪里了 |
| [11:37] | Trying to make sure Adam doesn’t go broke | 确保亚当不因为 |
| [11:39] | because of his stupid idea. | 他愚蠢的主意而破产 |
| [11:40] | But you said it was a dream you shared. | 但你说你也有这个梦想 |
| [11:42] | Not how I remember it. | 我记得不是这样 |
| [11:46] | You are each responsible | 你们每个人负责 |
| [11:47] | for bringing ten people to the opening. | 在开业那天带十个人来 |
| [11:51] | So, what’d I miss? | 我错过了什么 |
| [11:51] | My death is imminent. | 我一只脚踏进了棺材里 |
| [11:54] | Oh, what else? | 还有什么新鲜事 |
| [11:55] | Jill and Wendy think I should go see Violet. | 吉尔和温蒂认为我该去见维奥莉特 |
| [11:57] | – I agree. – Even if I wanted to, I don’t know where she lives. | -我同意 -就算我想去 我也不知道她住哪里 |
| [12:00] | I do. I mean, I could probably figure it out. | 我知道 我是说 我也许能问到 |
| [12:02] | Okay, I’ve been there. | 好吧 我去过 |
| [12:15] | This is the part where you knock. | 这时候你该敲门 |
| [12:17] | I’m too nervous. You do it. | 我太紧张了 你来 |
| [12:24] | What the hell was that? | 那是什么 |
| [12:25] | I don’t know. You made me overthink it. | 我不知道 你让我想太多了 |
| [12:29] | – Hi, Grandma. – Violet. Mm! | -好啊 外婆 -维奥莉特 |
| [12:31] | – Hi, Violet. – Hi. | -维奥莉特 -嗨 |
| [12:35] | You weren’t supposed to tell her where I live. | 你不该告诉她我住哪里的 |
| [12:37] | I’m sorry, but I was caught in the middle, | 抱歉 但我左右为难 |
| [12:38] | and my instinct is always to heal. | 我的直觉总是去治愈 |
| [12:41] | It’s not Grandma’s fault. I made her tell me. | 这不是外婆的错 我逼她告诉我的 |
| [12:44] | Well, you’re here, so… come on in. | 来都来了 那就进来吧 |
| [12:48] | Ah. Oh, this is a great setup. | 这里不错啊 |
| [12:52] | Luke must be doing well. | 卢克肯定情况很好 |
| [12:53] | Actually, Mom, Luke isn’t in the picture anymore. | 实际上 妈妈 我和卢克已经分手了 |
| [12:56] | But thank you for assuming I couldn’t pull this off on my own. | 但谢谢你假设我没法靠自己住上这房子 |
| [13:00] | – Strike one. – You’re doing great. | -一振 -你做得很好 |
| [13:03] | So… | 那么 |
| [13:06] | you are obviously here to talk about the podcast. | 你显然是来聊播客的事的 |
| [13:09] | Yes, I am. | 是的 |
| [13:10] | So…? | 那么 |
| [13:11] | So… | 那么 |
| [13:13] | I know you had a difficult childhood, | 我知道你童年艰辛 |
| [13:14] | and I’m glad you found a way to process it. | 我很高兴你找到了处理的办法 |
| [13:17] | I don’t really need your approval, but okay. | 我不需要你的赞同 但好吧 |
| [13:21] | Here’s the thing you need to know. | 你需要知道这件事 |
| [13:28] | What? You know I love pretzels. | 怎么了 你知道我喜欢椒盐脆饼干 |
| [13:33] | The person you’ve been talking about | 你一直谈论的人 |
| [13:34] | isn’t who I am anymore. I’ve changed. | 已经是过去的我了 我变了 |
| [13:39] | It’s true, she has. | 是真的 她变了 |
| [13:42] | But the podcast is about being raised by an alcoholic mother, | 但我的播客讲的是被一个酒鬼妈妈养大 |
| [13:45] | which I was– the damage is already done. | 情况就是如此 伤害已经造成了 |
| [13:48] | She’s got you there. | 她抓住了要点 |
| [13:50] | Well… | 好吧 |
| [13:51] | can you at least tell your listeners I’m sober now | 你至少能告诉你的听众 我现在已经戒瘾了 |
| [13:54] | and trying to clean up the mess I made? | 正努力收拾我的烂摊子 |
| [13:56] | I got to say, that seems reasonable. | 我得说 那似乎很合理 |
| [13:58] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:59] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [14:03] | Put these on, talk into this, | 戴上 对着它说话 |
| [14:04] | and if you’re chewing any gum, spit it out. | 如果你在嚼口香糖 就吐出来 |
| [14:06] | What’s happening? | 怎么回事 |
| [14:07] | We’re doing a podcast. | 我们要做一期播客 |
| [14:09] | If you want people to hear your side, tell them. | 如果你想让人们听到你这边的故事 那就告诉他们 |
| [14:11] | Oh. You can’t just do an episode called | 你就不能做一期 |
| [14:13] | – “My Mom’s Doin’ Good Now”? – No. | -“我妈妈现在挺好”的节目吗 -不行 |
| [14:16] | Wait. This is all you need, and you make money from it? | 等等 你就需要这些工具 就能赚钱了吗 |
| [14:19] | Not a ton, but yeah. | 赚不了多少 但是没错 |
| [14:20] | I am definitely starting a podcast. | 我绝对要开播客了 |
| [14:22] | Sober woman marrying a guy in a wheelchair, | 戒瘾女人嫁给了坐轮椅的男人 |
| [14:24] | sing a couple of songs– something for everybody. | 唱几首歌 大家都喜欢 |
| [14:26] | And here we… go. | 开始了 |
| [14:29] | – I’m not ready. – It’s okay. Take your time. | -我还没准备了 -没事 慢慢来 |
| [14:31] | Three, two, one. | 三二一 |
| [14:33] | Hello, people. | 大家好 |
| [14:35] | While I was deciding whether or not to talk to my mom, | 我正在决定我要不要和我妈妈说话时 |
| [14:37] | she took that choice away from me by showing up. | 她出现在我家门口 让我别无选择 |
| [14:40] | So now here she is with her side. | 现在她来了 带着她的说法 |
| [14:43] | That’s you. You’re her mom. | 是你 你是她妈妈 |
| [14:47] | Um, okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:51] | Hello. | 大家好 |
| [14:52] | I, uh, I’m Christie, | 我 呃 是克丽丝蒂 |
| [14:55] | and, um… | 然后 呃 |
| [14:57] | I’m Violet’s, um, mom, | 我是维奥莉特的 呃 妈妈 |
| [15:01] | and, um… | 然后 呃 |
| [15:03] | Wait, I said “Um” Too much. Can we start it again? | 等等 我说了太多呃 能重新开始吗 |
| [15:05] | No. | 不行 |
| [15:07] | Okay. Um… | 好吧 呃 |
| [15:10] | Well, I guess if I’m gonna tell my side, | 我想如果我要说出我这边的故事 |
| [15:13] | I should start at the beginning. | 那我该从头说起 |
| [15:14] | I was conceived in a van. | 我是在货车里怀上她的 |
| [15:16] | Well, technically, it was a minibus, | 严格来说是面包车 |
| [15:18] | and it was way more normal for people | 那时候人们在车里做爱 |
| [15:20] | to have sex in vehicles back then. | 还很正常 |
| [15:24] | Also, this is Life Preserver. Hello to all my fans. | 还有 我是救命稻草 各位粉丝好 |
| [15:30] | I’m actually sponsoring three women. | 我实际上互助了三个女人 |
| [15:32] | They call me with their problems, and I help them. | 她们打电话来说自己的问题 我帮助她们 |
| [15:35] | So what I’m trying to say is yes, | 我想说的是 没错 |
| [15:37] | all those horrible stories you’ve told about me are true. | 你说的那些关于我的可怕故事都是真的 |
| [15:41] | But… nowadays, my idea of a good time | 但现在 我认为的美好时光 |
| [15:44] | is hitting a meeting and going to coffee with my friends. | 就是去参加互助会 跟我的朋友喝咖啡 |
| [15:48] | I’ve changed. | 我改变了 |
| [15:50] | If I say I’m gonna be somewhere, I’m there. | 如果我说我要去哪里 我会去的 |
| [15:52] | I pay my bills. I keep my promises. | 我付账单 遵守承诺 |
| [15:55] | That’s who I am now. | 我现在就是这样 |
| [15:58] | Anyway… | 总之 |
| [16:00] | that’s my side. | 这是我的说法 |
| [16:02] | Thanks for letting me tell it. | 谢谢你让我讲述 |
| [16:05] | First, I want to say, um… | 首先 我想说 |
| [16:09] | you sound really good. | 你听起来很棒 |
| [16:11] | Clearly, you’ve done a lot of work on yourself, | 显然 你改过自新了 |
| [16:13] | and I’m happy for you. | 我很为你高兴 |
| [16:15] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [16:17] | But here’s the thing. | 但问题是这样的 |
| [16:21] | I missed out on being a child. | 我错过了做孩子的机会 |
| [16:25] | When most kids were just showing up to school and focusing on algebra, | 大部分孩子只用去上学 做代数题 |
| [16:29] | I was always worried about what was going on at home. | 我总是担心家里发生的事 |
| [16:32] | I could never bring friends over, | 我永远也不能带朋友回家 |
| [16:33] | because I didn’t know what we would be walking into. | 因为我不知道我们会撞上什么情况 |
| [16:36] | When I should have just been going to ballet | 当我该上芭蕾课 |
| [16:38] | and Rollerblading, | 滑旱冰的时候 |
| [16:39] | I was the one that was home cleaning the house | 我却在家打扫卫生 |
| [16:41] | and cooking dinner and making sure that bills got paid. | 做晚饭 确保有人付账单 |
| [16:46] | I would see you passed out on the couch | 我看见你在沙发上昏睡 |
| [16:47] | and not even know if you were gonna wake up. | 都不知道你是否会醒来 |
| [16:52] | I worried about stuff | 我担心的事 |
| [16:53] | that no kid should ever have to worry about. | 是小孩永远也不该需要担心的 |
| [16:59] | Violet, I am so sorry. | 维奥莉特 很抱歉 |
| [17:01] | I wish I could go back in time | 真希望我能回到过去 |
| [17:03] | and be the mother you deserved. | 做你该拥有的妈妈 |
| [17:08] | I wish that, too. | 我也希望如此 |
| [17:12] | What do you say we build from here? | 我们从现在开始建立感情怎么样 |
| [17:15] | I really want to be in your life. | 我真的想参与你的生活 |
| [17:17] | Actually, it’s been really good not having you in my life. | 实际上 我生活里不再有你 这还挺好的 |
| [17:23] | I’m finally in a healthy place right now, | 我现在终于健康了 |
| [17:24] | and I think that what would be best for me | 我觉得不跟你建立关系 |
| [17:26] | is to not have a relationship with you. | 这样对我最好 |
| [17:30] | Oh. | 好吧 |
| [17:31] | But thank you so much for coming on the podcast. | 但是非常感谢你上播客 |
| [17:36] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:45] | Seriously, thank you for doing that. | 说真的 感谢你这样做 |
| [17:47] | It’s actually gonna be a really good episode. | 这会是很棒的一期 |
| [17:51] | So we’re done? | 这就完事了吗 |
| [17:52] | Yeah. It was great to see you, Grandma. | 是啊 很高兴见到你 外婆 |
| [17:54] | It’s great to see you, too, sweetie. | 我也是 亲爱的 |
| [17:58] | Bye, Mom. | 再见 妈妈 |
| [17:59] | Bye. | 再见 |
| [18:12] | – You okay? – Mm. | -你没事吧 -嗯 |
| [18:19] | I know that’s… | 我知道那 |
| [18:21] | not how you wanted that to go down, but… | 不是你想要的 但是 |
| [18:26] | remember… | 记住 |
| [18:28] | five years ago, | 五年前 |
| [18:30] | this right here wouldn’t have been possible. | 这是不可能发生的 |
| [18:50] | I’m sure you’d rather be at home | 你肯定更情愿在家 |
| [18:52] | curled up in the fetal position, | 像婴儿一样蜷缩着 |
| [18:53] | watching The Real Housewives of… | 看着某个地方的 |
| [18:55] | somewhere… | 《娇妻》 |
| [18:57] | but it means a lot to me that you showed up. | 但你出现对我来说意义重大 |
| [19:00] | It’s okay. Kind of like the old days, | 没事 就像过去一样 |
| [19:03] | only now I’m drowning my sorrows in hot wings. | 只是现在我借辣鸡翅消愁 |
| [19:05] | – And these are hot. – Yeah. | -真辣 -是啊 |
| [19:07] | I actually can’t feel my lips. | 我的嘴唇都没知觉了 |
| [19:10] | You know… | 要知道 |
| [19:11] | the podcast hasn’t aired yet. | 那期播客还没播 |
| [19:13] | I could break into Violet’s apartment, | 我可以闯入维奥莉特的公寓 |
| [19:15] | destroy the tapes– problem solved. | 毁掉磁带 问题解决了 |
| [19:17] | First of all, no one uses tapes anymore. | 首先 没人用磁带了 |
| [19:21] | And also, I don’t want to destroy the podcast. | 还有 我不希望毁掉播客 |
| [19:23] | It’s helping her. And probably other people. | 这对她有帮助 也许还有别人 |
| [19:26] | Ah, look at you, eating chicken and taking the high road. | 瞧瞧你 吃着鸡肉 发扬好作风 |
| [19:32] | You know… | 要知道 |
| [19:33] | all of this has made me realize I owe you an apology. | 这一切让我意识到我欠你一个道歉 |
| [19:37] | Awesome. | 太棒了 |
| [19:39] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [19:40] | Because I focused too much on who you were | 因为我太专注于过去的你 |
| [19:42] | and not enough on the person you’ve become. I’m sorry. | 没大关注现在的你 对不起 |
| [19:45] | Aw. Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [19:48] | So from here on out, | 所以从现在开始 |
| [19:49] | I promise I will only get mad at you | 我保证 我只会对 |
| [19:52] | for the things you do in the present. | 你现在做的事生气 |
| [19:53] | And I promise to give you plenty to work with. | 我保证我会让你天天生气 |
| [19:59] | Hey. You use the urinal? | 你用了小便池吗 |
| [20:02] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [20:02] | Were you happy with the trajectory? | 你对尿液轨道满意吗 |
| [20:06] | I guess. | 我想是 |
| [20:07] | Hot guy says yes. | 性感男人说是 |
| [20:13] | There he is, Mr. Successful Bar Owner. | 他来了 成功酒吧老板先生 |
| [20:15] | Oh, you must be thrilled. Look at all the people. | 你肯定很激动 瞧瞧这里的人 |
| [20:17] | Yeah, yeah, big turnout. | 是啊 好多人来 |
| [20:19] | I did that. | 是我做的 |
| [20:20] | Yes, you did. | 是的 |
| [20:21] | You brought 75 sober people to a bar. | 你带了75个戒酒的人来酒吧 |
| [20:25] | I’m running out of Diet Coke. | 健怡可乐快卖完了 |
| [20:26] | Also, next time you promise everyone free wings, | 下次你答应大家有免费鸡翅时 |
| [20:30] | don’t do that. | 别那样做 |
| [20:32] | Hey, congratulations. | 恭喜啊 |
| [20:34] | Yeah, this place is so cute. | 这地方真棒 |
| [20:35] | Thanks. What can I get you ladies? | 谢谢 你们要来什么 |
| [20:36] | – An iced tea. – Me too. | -冰红茶 -我也是 |
| [20:38] | Cranberry juice. | 蔓越莓汁 |
| [20:40] | I don’t have an infection. I just like it. | 我没感染 我只是喜欢 |
| [20:44] | I sunk my life savings into a lemonade stand. | 我把毕生积蓄都投入了一个柠檬水摊位 |
| [20:48] | Okay, so, a guy asked me for my number. | 有个人问我电话号码 |
| [20:50] | I have a date. Or he wants me to do work on his house. | 我有约会了 或者他想让我装修他的房子 |
| [20:53] | But either way, yay! | 不管怎样 真棒啊 |