时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | – Hi. Tammy, alcoholic. – Hi, Tammy. | -塔米 酒瘾者 -塔米 |
[00:04] | Whew. I’m still a little rattled. | 我依然有些慌乱 |
[00:06] | I’m standing in line at the salad bar today, | 我今天在沙拉吧排队 |
[00:09] | and there’s this cop behind me. | 背后站着一名警察 |
[00:11] | So, of course, fresh out of jail, I get paranoid. | 不用说 我刚出狱 有些疑神疑鬼 |
[00:14] | My hands start shaking, chickpeas rolling off the plate. | 我的手开始抖 鹰嘴豆滚出盘子 |
[00:19] | Freaked me out so much, | 非常害怕 |
[00:20] | I left without getting any of those itty-bitty corncobs, | 我没要小玉米就走了 |
[00:23] | which is the whole reason I went. | 我专为小玉米去的 |
[00:27] | I mean, am I gonna spend the rest of my life | 我下半辈子难道要 |
[00:28] | looking over my shoulder, afraid they’re gonna lock me up again? | 一直杯弓蛇影 担心再被关起来吗 |
[00:32] | I can’t go back to jail. | 我不能回监狱 |
[00:34] | There’s no tiny corn there. | 里面没小玉米 |
[00:37] | And people stab you. | 而且别人会捅你 |
[00:41] | Anyway, thanks. | 总之 谢谢 |
[00:45] | Would anyone else like to share? | 还有人想分享吗 |
[00:46] | Hi. Christy, alcoholic. | 克丽丝蒂 酒瘾者 |
[00:48] | Hi, Christy. | 克丽丝蒂 |
[00:50] | I was so not planning on coming to the meeting today. | 我今天本不想来互助会 |
[00:53] | I mean, I had no school, no work, | 我不用上学 不用上班 |
[00:56] | and all I wanted to do was lie on the couch | 我只想躺在沙发上 |
[00:58] | and binge-watch Chopped. | 连续看《神厨》 |
[01:00] | P.S. I would be great on that show. | 顺便说句 我上那节目一定很棒 |
[01:03] | I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened up the fridge | 不知道有多少次我打开冰箱 |
[01:05] | and all I had was gummy bears, tortillas and mustard. | 发现只有小熊软糖 玉米饼和芥末了 |
[01:09] | That was a challenging Thanksgiving. | 那是个艰难的感恩节 |
[01:12] | But next thing I knew, I was putting my shoes on, | 但转眼之间 我开始穿鞋 |
[01:16] | getting in the car and driving here. | 上车 开来这里 |
[01:19] | I can’t believe it; I have sober feet. | 难以置信 我有清醒脚 |
[01:23] | They know where I’m supposed to be, | 它们知道我该去哪 |
[01:24] | even when I don’t want to be there. | 即使我不想去 |
[01:27] | Sober feet. | 清醒脚 |
[01:31] | Anyway, that’s all. | 总之 就这么多 |
[01:33] | Really glad to be here. | 很高兴能来这里 |
[01:37] | – Anyone else? – I’ll go. | -还有人吗 -我来 |
[01:38] | – Hi. Bonnie, alcoholic. – Hi, Bonnie. | -邦妮 酒瘾者 -邦妮 |
[01:40] | Well, my fiancé’s bar has finally turned a corner. | 我未婚夫的酒吧终于扭亏为盈了 |
[01:45] | So, with Adam busy, I have a lot of time to myself, | 亚当很忙 我有了很多空闲时间 |
[01:47] | which, when I drank, could be dangerous, | 在我喝酒时 这会很危险 |
[01:48] | but now is kind of nice. | 但现在挺不错的 |
[01:50] | I can eat what I want, see any movie I want. | 我可以吃任何东西 看任何电影 |
[01:53] | By golly, for the first time in my life, | 天啊 这是我人生中第一次 |
[01:56] | I get to be a little selfish. | 可以自私点 |
[01:58] | Too easy. | 太简单了 |
[02:02] | Come on. “Sober feet.” | 拜托 清醒脚 |
[02:04] | That’s recovery gold right there. | 这是戒酒神梗 |
[02:07] | But I look over at Nora, I get nothing. | 但我看了诺拉 一点反应没有 |
[02:09] | Not a smile, not a wink, not even a finger gun. | 没微笑 没眨眼 甚至没手指枪 |
[02:13] | You know, sweetie, needy’s not a good color on you. | 亲爱的 粘人不适合你 |
[02:17] | It’s not needy to want an “Attaboy” from my sponsor once in a while. | 想偶尔被互助对象表扬不叫粘人 |
[02:21] | I always give my sponsees my full attention. | 我总是给互助对象完全的关注 |
[02:24] | Oh, please. You slept through my entire share last week. | 得了吧 上周我分享时你一直在睡觉 |
[02:28] | I was meditating. | 我是在冥想 |
[02:30] | Is your secret mantra, “I’m awake”? | 你的密咒是”我醒着”吗 |
[02:34] | Spot-on, Big Sauce. She does the same thing | 一针见血 大酱 我们在家 |
[02:36] | when we’re at home watching Blue Bloods. | 看《警察世家》时她也这样 |
[02:38] | Well, it’s the only way I can get you to stop talking. | 我只有那样才能让你闭嘴 |
[02:40] | I do get chatty when Donnie Wahlberg’s on camera. | 唐尼·沃尔伯格出镜时我确实话多 |
[02:44] | I just have a feeling he’s a fascinating person. | 我感觉他是个有魅力的人 |
[02:49] | All right, coffee pot is clean. I’m out of here. | 好 咖啡壶干净了 我走了 |
[02:52] | Hey, Nora! | 诺拉 |
[02:57] | Awesome share. | 精彩的分享 |
[02:59] | I always get so much out of what you have to say. | 你的话总是让我受益良多 |
[03:01] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
[03:05] | Well, that was hard to watch. | 不堪入目 |
[03:07] | She knows how it works. | 她知道规矩 |
[03:08] | “Hey, I liked your share.” | 我喜欢你的分享 |
[03:10] | “Thanks. I liked your share, too.” | 谢谢 我也喜欢你的分享 |
[03:11] | Well, I liked your share today. | 我喜欢你今天的分享 |
[03:13] | Thank you, Wendy. I liked your share, too. | 谢谢 温蒂 我也喜欢你的分享 |
[03:16] | I didn’t share. | 我没分享 |
[03:19] | Attaboy. | 表扬你 |
[03:49] | What’s the body count so far? | 现在死多少人了 |
[03:50] | Well, assuming that cheerleader can’t sew her head back on, | 假如拉拉队员不能缝上自己的头的话 |
[03:53] | – we’re up to five. – Yeah. | -那就五个了 -是的 |
[03:55] | Her head’s on the floor, but her hands still think she’s alive. | 她的头在地板上 但她的手依然以为她活着 |
[03:58] | Is it safe to look now? | 现在能看了吗 |
[04:00] | Hang on. | 等等 |
[04:03] | All clear. | 好了 |
[04:07] | You guys suck! | 你们真差劲 |
[04:09] | The-the jock gets it in the jockstrap. | 运动员被护裆伤了 |
[04:12] | Now, that’s good writing. | 编剧真有才 |
[04:15] | – Unbelievable. -What? | -难以置信 -怎么了 |
[04:16] | I texted Nora an hour ago, and she still hasn’t responded. | 我一小时前给诺拉发了短信 她仍然没回 |
[04:19] | So I paused the movie | 所以我为了 |
[04:20] | for something that idn’t actually happen? | 没发生的事暂停了电影吗 |
[04:22] | Yeah. | 是的 |
[04:23] | Why are you so obsessed with Nora’s approval? | 你为什么痴迷于得到诺拉的承认 |
[04:25] | I mean, is it ’cause she’s famous or something? | 因为她很出名吗 |
[04:27] | She’s not famous; she does the weather for the local news. | 她不出名 她为本地新闻报天气 |
[04:30] | And cohosts the Napa Valley Thanksgiving Day Parade. | 而且联合主持了纳帕谷感恩节游行 |
[04:34] | It’s on two channels. | 两个台都有播呢 |
[04:36] | Christy’s always been an approval junkie. | 克丽丝蒂一直痴迷于得到承认 |
[04:38] | In high school, if there was one person in her class | 在高中 她班里有个人不喜欢她 |
[04:40] | that didn’t like her, that’s who she’d have sex with. | 然后她与那个人上床了 |
[04:42] | Hey, it worked. | 成功了 |
[04:44] | You should take a page from the Book of Bonnie. | 你应该学学《邦妮之书》 |
[04:46] | She never cares what people think. | 她从不在乎别人的想法 |
[04:48] | She should. | 她应该在乎 |
[04:49] | See, you say that; don’t care. | 看吧 你说这话 我不在乎 |
[04:54] | Oh, look, it’s Nora. | 看 是诺拉 |
[04:56] | She called you? | 她给你打电话吗 |
[04:57] | Relax. It’s Jill. | 放松 是吉尔 |
[05:00] | What’s up? | 怎么了 |
[05:01] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. | 慢慢说 |
[05:04] | Are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
[05:06] | What happened? | 发生了什么 |
[05:06] | Someone broke into her house. Uh, we’re on our way. | 有人闯进了她家 我们这就来 |
[05:09] | Okay, listen, if the police ask any questions, | 好 听着 如果警察问 |
[05:12] | I was here with you all night watching movies. | 我今晚一直在和你们看电影 |
[05:15] | You were watching a movie with us. | 你本来就在和我们看电影 |
[05:16] | Oh, good, say it just like that. | 很好 就这样说 |
[05:21] | I just keep thinking, if I’d gotten home ten minutes earlier, | 我一直在想 如果我早回家十分钟 |
[05:24] | maybe they still would’ve been in here. | 他们可能还在家里 |
[05:26] | I could be lying on the floor dead. | 我可能横尸地板 |
[05:28] | But your hands don’t know it yet, so they’re still twitching. | 但你的手不知道 依然在抽搐 |
[05:32] | Quit it. | 别说了 |
[05:35] | We’re just glad you’re okay. What’d they get? | 很高兴你没事 他们偷走了什么 |
[05:38] | Oh, all the jewelry that wasn’t in the safe | 没放在保险箱里的珠宝 |
[05:40] | and everything from the loose cash bowl. | 以及闲钱碗里的所有东西 |
[05:42] | – The what? – You know how you have a bowl | -什么 -你知道大家有个碗 |
[05:44] | with loose pennies and buttons in it? | 里面放着零钱和纽扣吗 |
[05:46] | Jill does that with 20s and 50s. | 吉尔放的是20块和50块 |
[05:49] | It’s for tips, trick-or-treaters or Mormons. | 那是为了给小费 打发要糖者和摩门教徒 |
[05:54] | How much was in there? | 里面有多少钱 |
[05:55] | I don’t know, couple of inches? | 我不知道 几英寸厚吧 |
[05:59] | I can’t find the milk. | 我找不到牛奶了 |
[06:00] | Oh, my God, those bastards took the milk. | 天啊 那些混蛋偷走了牛奶 |
[06:03] | Ms. Kendall? | 肯德尔女士 |
[06:04] | In the kitchen! | 在厨房里 |
[06:05] | Big house. Doesn’t help. | 房子太大 那样说没用 |
[06:07] | Follow my voice, follow my voice, follow my voice! | 跟着我的声音走 |
[06:12] | All right, checked the whole property. It’s clear. | 好 检查过整个房子 安全了 |
[06:15] | Thank you, Officer. | 谢谢 警官 |
[06:16] | No problem. | 没问题 |
[06:18] | Sir, just so you know, I’m on parole. | 警官 告诉你一句 我在假释中 |
[06:19] | But I have an alibi; | 但我有不在场证明 |
[06:21] | I was with them watching slasher movies all night. | 我一晚上都在和她们看血腥恐怖片 |
[06:23] | Oh. Yeah, those are fun, | 是的 那些片子挺好看 |
[06:25] | till you walk in on a real crime scene. | 直到你走进真的犯罪现场 |
[06:28] | I bet you’ve seen some messed-up stuff. | 我敢打赌你见过很多可怕的场面 |
[06:30] | I don’t like to talk about it, but no. | 我不想谈这个 但没见过 |
[06:34] | This is Napa Valley. | 这里是纳帕谷 |
[06:36] | People call 911 when they get a bad wedge of brie. | 人们会打报警电话抱怨布里干酪形状不好 |
[06:39] | Oh, I love brie. | 我喜欢布里干酪 |
[06:41] | All right, here’s my card. | 好 这是我的名片 |
[06:42] | Give me a call tomorrow with a list of what’s gone missing, | 明天给我打电话说丢了什么 |
[06:44] | you know, for your insurance. | 为了申请保险 |
[06:45] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[06:47] | Oh, and, uh, I, uh… | 还有 我… |
[06:50] | I just got one more question for you. | 我还想问你一个问题 |
[06:52] | Um, is that a Kalamazoo grill in the backyard? | 后院那个是卡拉马祖烤架吗 |
[06:55] | I don’t know. My ex-husband put it in. | 我不知道 我前夫装的 |
[06:57] | I don’t touch the thing. | 我从没碰过 |
[07:00] | How can… | 怎么… |
[07:03] | How can you not… | 你怎么能没… |
[07:05] | I’m sorry. It’s just, when I buy a lottery ticket, | 抱歉 我买彩票时 |
[07:07] | that grill is what I’m dreaming of. | 梦想就是那个烤架 |
[07:09] | You can burn wood, charcoal, gas, or-or… | 你可以烧木头 木炭 燃气 或者 |
[07:13] | you can go infrared. | 你可以用红外线 |
[07:17] | Infrared. | 红外线 |
[07:20] | You’re getting a little worked up here, Officer. | 你有点激动 警官 |
[07:21] | It’s just sitting there! | 白白放在那里 |
[07:23] | Well, good thing they didn’t steal that. | 还好他们没偷那个 |
[07:26] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[07:27] | You can’t steal it; it’s built-in. | 你不能偷走 那是装上去的 |
[07:29] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
[07:29] | You ladies, have a, have a good night. | 祝女士们过个愉快的夜晚 |
[07:34] | It’s a left, two rights and a left. | 左转 右转两次后左转 |
[07:36] | Copy that. | 收到 |
[07:39] | Well, thanks again for coming, but I think I’m okay now. | 再次感谢你们来 但我觉得我没事了 |
[07:42] | Yeah. Unless they come back. | 是的 除非他们回来 |
[07:44] | What? | 什么 |
[07:45] | Why would you say that? | 你为什么这么说 |
[07:46] | It happens all the time. | 这种事经常发生 |
[07:48] | I mean, now that the guy knows the layout, | 现在他知道布局了 |
[07:49] | he could get a couple buddies, come back, | 他可能叫一群同伙回来 |
[07:50] | toss this place like a Caesar salad. | 把这里搞得像凯撒沙拉 |
[07:52] | – Tammy! – I’m sorry! | -塔米 -对不起 |
[07:54] | You’re right. It could be a chick. | 你说得对 也可能是女人干的 |
[07:58] | I really appreciate you guys spending the night. | 很感谢你们留下过夜 |
[08:04] | I still think you could’ve made room for me up there. | 我依然觉得我能挤挤睡上面 |
[08:06] | I still think, while you’re down there, you can rub my feet. | 我依然觉得你在下面可以给我揉脚 |
[08:11] | Bonnie, would you please check the windows again? | 邦妮 你能再查查窗户吗 |
[08:14] | Sure. | 可以 |
[08:18] | – Back. – Damn it. | -回去 -该死 |
[08:21] | You know, we can’t sleep here every night. | 我们不能每晚都睡这里 |
[08:22] | Speak for yourself. | 这话替你自己说吧 |
[08:24] | This mattress is taking on the shape of my ass. | 这个床垫变成了我屁股的形状 |
[08:28] | It’s memory foam. | 这是记忆海绵 |
[08:29] | Well, I want to marry it. | 我想嫁给它 |
[08:32] | Maybe you should hire some security, you know, | 或许你该雇个保安 |
[08:34] | someone to stay here till you get over the yips. | 让某人留在这里 直到你不怕了 |
[08:36] | How ’bout that cop? | 那位警察如何 |
[08:37] | A lot of those guys do off-duty work. | 很多警察都做兼职 |
[08:39] | Mm, I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
[08:40] | He wouldn’t shut up about my barbecue. | 他总是在说我的烤架 |
[08:43] | I mean, what man notices that and not me? | 怎么会有男人不注意我 却注意烤架 |
[08:46] | You’re right, don’t call a cop. Call a Hells Angel. | 你说得对 别找警察 找地狱天使[黑帮] |
[08:48] | They know how to crack heads and appreciate a pretty lady. | 他们知道怎么打爆脑袋和欣赏美女 |
[08:53] | Shh, shh, shh! Did you just hear that? | 嘘 你们听到了吗 |
[08:56] | Jill, the alarm’s on, you’re surrounded by us, | 吉尔 警报开着 你被我们围着 |
[08:59] | and Christy’s closest to the door– they’ll get her first. | 克丽丝蒂离门最近 她最先倒霉 |
[09:02] | The hell they will! | 才怪呢 |
[09:07] | Geez, shave your legs once in a while! | 天啊 好歹刮刮腿毛吧 |
[09:13] | Okay, if this is gonna work, | 好 要想这样睡 |
[09:14] | everybody has to sleep on their side. | 所有人都得侧身 |
[09:24] | – Flip the dolphin, Tam. – Oh, sure, sure. | -转身 塔米 -好嘞 |
[09:31] | What’s this? | 这是什么 |
[09:34] | Warm brown food? | 热棕色食物 |
[09:36] | I’m in. | 我想吃 |
[09:40] | Appears to be some sort of chili. | 看起来像辣豆酱 |
[09:44] | Yep, chili. | 对 辣豆酱 |
[09:47] | Hey! What are you doing, you big moose?! | 你在做什么 大驼鹿 |
[09:50] | You just walk in | 你就走进来 |
[09:52] | and eat anything that’s cooking on the stove? | 吃炉子上的任何东西吗 |
[09:53] | It’s kept me alive so far. | 我目前为止是这样活下来的 |
[09:55] | Well, it’s not for you. It’s for Nora. | 不是给你做的 是给诺拉做的 |
[09:58] | I did a little snooping around on Instagram; | 我在Ins上查了查 |
[10:00] | found out it’s her favorite thing. | 发现这是她的最爱 |
[10:01] | Oh, my God, you’re making chili for Nora | 天啊 你给诺拉做辣豆酱 |
[10:04] | just so she’ll like you. | 只为让她喜欢你 |
[10:05] | Hey, I used to make you screwdrivers | 我曾给你做过螺丝刀鸡尾酒 |
[10:07] | to get you to like me. | 来让你喜欢我呢 |
[10:09] | You did have a good firm pour for an eight-year-old. | 对一个八岁小孩来说 你的确倒酒很稳 |
[10:13] | I really think this is gonna work. | 我真觉得这会有用 |
[10:15] | I can almost feel her loving me already. | 我都能感觉到她喜欢我了 |
[10:18] | You’re really quite pathetic, do you know that? | 你真的很可悲 知道吗 |
[10:20] | I’ve never denied it. | 我从未否认过 |
[10:27] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
[10:30] | I’m paying you to protect me, not to sit here watching | 我付你钱是为了保护我的 而不是坐在这里 |
[10:32] | six tiny black-and-white movies at the same time. | 同时看六部黑白小电影的 |
[10:38] | You figured out those are the security cameras I set up, yeah? | 你搞懂了那是我安的监控摄像头啊 |
[10:40] | Halfway through. | 话说一半就知道了 |
[10:44] | What’s going on there? Those squirrels fighting? | 这是怎么回事 这些松鼠在打架吗 |
[10:52] | Yeah, they’ve been going at it hot and heavy. | 它们一直在激烈地”打架” |
[10:54] | Definitely not married. | 绝对还没结婚 |
[10:59] | You know, you don’t have to keep bringing your own food. | 你没必要自己带食物 |
[11:01] | You’re welcome to anything in the fridge. | 冰箱里的东西你都可以吃 |
[11:04] | Thanks, but years of police work tell me | 谢谢 但多年的警察工作告诉我 |
[11:06] | there’s probably less than a thousand calories | 整个房子加起来可能 |
[11:07] | in this entire house. | 都不到一千卡 |
[11:09] | Oh, really? | 真的吗 |
[11:17] | I got to ask you a question, Ms. Kendall. | 我得问你个问题 肯德尔女士 |
[11:18] | Oh, you’ve seen me without makeup; call me Jill. | 你见过我没化妆的样子 叫我吉尔吧 |
[11:22] | You’ve seen me without makeup; call me Andy. | 你也见过我没化妆的样子 叫我安迪吧 |
[11:25] | Great, Andy. Ask away. | 很好 安迪 你问吧 |
[11:28] | This is a huge house, and you’re just one person. | 这房子很大 而你只有一个人 |
[11:31] | Don’t you think you’d feel safer in a smaller place? | 如果你住在更小的房子里 不会觉得更安全吗 |
[11:34] | Maybe. | 也许吧 |
[11:37] | But I’ve just been here so long, I guess I’m kind of used to it. | 但我在这里住了很久 我想我已经习惯了 |
[11:41] | And my ex wanted it in the divorce, | 我前夫离婚时想分走房子 |
[11:43] | so I cried until the judge said I could have it. | 所以我梨花带雨 直到法官说分给我 |
[11:47] | Yeah, my ex did the same thing with my Raiders tickets. | 我前妻也要抢我的突袭者队门票 |
[11:51] | And she doesn’t even go. | 她都不去看球赛的 |
[11:54] | It’s painful enough trying to watch a Raiders game. | 看突袭者队的比赛就已经够痛苦的了 |
[11:57] | Now I got to turn it on and see | 现在我打开电视后 |
[11:58] | those two empty seats in the end zone. | 还会看见球门区的两个空座位 |
[12:02] | Oh, that’s nothing. | 那不算什么 |
[12:04] | Does your ex have a beautiful young wife | 你前任有年轻美貌的妻子 |
[12:06] | and an okay-looking child? | 和相貌平平的孩子吗 |
[12:09] | No. She’s dating another bald cop | 没有 她在和另一个秃头警察约会 |
[12:11] | who could stand to lose 20 pounds. | 他坚持减肥了20磅 |
[12:15] | What was wrong with me? | 我有什么不好啊 |
[12:18] | I’m done being on Team Sad. | 我不再悲伤了 |
[12:20] | I been through all four stages of grief: | 我经历了悲伤的四个阶段 |
[12:23] | eating, crying, drinking, snorting. | 大吃 大哭 大喝 吸毒 |
[12:27] | I been down that path. | 我也经历过 |
[12:29] | Got stuck on eating. | 一直卡在大吃的阶段 |
[12:34] | Want a bite? | 想来一口吗 |
[12:35] | Nah. | 不了 |
[12:36] | I’m not eating bread, cheese or meat right now. | 我现在不吃面包 奶酪和肉 |
[12:39] | Watch your fingers. | 小心你的手指 |
[12:48] | Hey, what are you doing? | 你干什么 |
[12:49] | I was watching… whatever that was. | 我正在看 这节目呢 |
[12:52] | I want to watch the weather. | 我想看天气 |
[12:54] | We live in California. | 我们住在加州 |
[12:55] | Here’s your five-day forecast: Nice. | 这是五天天气预报 天气好 |
[12:59] | Oh, wait. You want to watch Nora so you can tell her | 等等 你想看诺拉 这样你就能告诉她 |
[13:01] | how much you love the way she points at things. | 你有多喜欢她指东西的样子 |
[13:05] | Suck-up. | 马屁精 |
[13:07] | Am not. | 我不是 |
[13:08] | Did I get a text saying how much she loved my chili? | 我收到了她发的超爱我的辣豆酱的短信吗 |
[13:11] | Yes, I did. | 我收到了 |
[13:13] | She even asked how my day was going. | 她甚至问我今天怎么样 |
[13:14] | Is that the sound of the ice queen cracking? | 那是冰后开裂的声音吗 |
[13:16] | I think so. | 我想是的 |
[13:19] | Are you gonna ask questions and also answer them? | 你现在自问自答了吗 |
[13:21] | Is that your new thing? | 这是你的新习惯吗 |
[13:22] | Is it? I don’t know. | 是吗 我不知道 |
[13:25] | Shh, shh! My new bestie’s on. | 嘘 我的新闺蜜出现了 |
[13:27] | Ah, thanks, Rob! | 谢谢 罗伯 |
[13:28] | And I agree, that is some tie. | 我同意 你的领带真好看 |
[13:31] | Well, looks like we might need | 似乎我们需要 |
[13:33] | to break out the sweaters, folks. | 拿出毛衣了 各位 |
[13:34] | Temperatures will be cooling down this week | 本周将会降温 |
[13:36] | thanks to winds coming in from the west. | 因为刮起了西风 |
[13:45] | Hey, you and your chili just got a shout-out. | 你和你的辣豆酱得到了致谢呢 |
[13:55] | Winds coming in from the west | 刮起了西风 |
[13:57] | Winds coming in from the west | 刮起了西风 |
[14:00] | Winds coming in from the west… | 刮起了西风 |
[14:02] | 600,000 views! | 六十万观看 |
[14:04] | The minute I saw this, I said, | 我一看到这一幕 就说 |
[14:05] | “Let’s make a YouTube video.” | 我们拍视频上传油管吧 |
[14:07] | And Christy’s all, | 克丽丝蒂说 |
[14:07] | “No, we can’t humiliate my sponsor.” | 不行 我们不能羞辱我的互助对象 |
[14:11] | Once again, my daughter holds me back from greatness! | 我女儿又一次阻碍了我的伟大 |
[14:14] | I feel sorry for her. | 我为她感到难过 |
[14:15] | Okay, when did you let one rip? | 好吧 你什么时候放的屁 |
[14:17] | High school talent show. | 高中才艺表演 |
[14:18] | I was playing the flute, but not nearly loud enough. | 我在吹长笛 但声音不够响 |
[14:23] | Move over, sex with Abe Lincoln. | 让开 和亚伯·林肯做爱 |
[14:24] | That is now number one on my time machine list. | 这是我的时间机器清单上的第一项 |
[14:26] | Man, poor Nora. | 可怜的诺拉 |
[14:28] | Let’s watch it again. | 我们再看一次吧 |
[14:32] | Seriously, there’s a 5% chance they’re laughing at Wendy. | 说真的 她们有5%的可能性是在笑温蒂 |
[14:35] | We both know who they’re laughing at. | 我们都知道她们在笑谁 |
[14:37] | Here’s your Tupperware. | 这是你的特百惠保鲜盒 |
[14:39] | I’m so sorry. | 很抱歉 |
[14:40] | Well, don’t be. | 不用 |
[14:41] | Am I feeling a little embarrassed? Absolutely. | 我觉得有些丢人吗 绝对是 |
[14:44] | I’m human and I frickin’ farted on TV. | 我是人 我在电视上放屁了 |
[14:48] | And do you want to talk about that? | 你想聊聊这件事吗 |
[14:49] | Not with you. | 不是跟你聊 |
[14:50] | I’ll bring it to my sponsor, who, by the way, | 我要去找我的互助对象 顺便说一句 |
[14:52] | I’m also not buddies with. | 我跟他也不是朋友 |
[14:54] | Thank you for the coffee. I got to go. | 谢谢你的咖啡 我得走了 |
[14:56] | Right. Well, maybe we should– | 好吧 也许我们该 |
[14:59] | Okay. All right. Bye! | 好 再见 |
[15:01] | Marjorie, give me my phone back. | 玛乔丽 把我的手机还给我 |
[15:04] | How did you get from farts to cat videos? | 你怎么从放屁视频看到了猫咪视频 |
[15:08] | How’s Nora? | 诺拉怎么样 |
[15:09] | Our friendship is dead, and here’s the murder weapon. | 我们的友谊死了 这是凶器 |
[15:12] | I just don’t get what the big deal is. | 我不明白有什么大不了的 |
[15:14] | We all do it. | 我们都会这样 |
[15:14] | We burp, we fart, we pee when we laugh, | 打嗝 放屁 大笑的时候尿出来 |
[15:16] | which only makes us laugh more, which makes us pee more. | 从而让我们笑得更厉害 从而让我们尿得更多 |
[15:18] | Circle of life. | 生命轮回 |
[15:20] | Ooh, motion sensor alert. | 运动传感器警报 |
[15:23] | Aw, look. Andy’s bringing in my mail. | 瞧 安迪在给我拿邮件 |
[15:26] | How long you gonna keep him around? | 你打算留他多久 |
[15:28] | I don’t know. He makes me feel safe. | 我不知道 他让我觉得安全 |
[15:31] | And he’s a lot of fun. | 他很有趣 |
[15:32] | We stayed up all night just gabbing. | 我们整晚没睡 在闲聊 |
[15:34] | He told me stories about being a Marine. | 他跟我说了加入海军陆战队的故事 |
[15:37] | He really knows how to take care of business. | 他真的知道怎么做事 |
[15:38] | Yeah? Did he take care of your business? | 是吗 他做了你的”事”吗 |
[15:42] | While you were gabbing all night? | 在你们闲聊一晚上的时候 |
[15:43] | Uh-huh. | 是啊 |
[15:44] | Girl! | 妹子 |
[15:47] | He’s a great guy, but you met him; | 他是个好人 但你们见过他 |
[15:49] | he’s not my type. | 他不是我喜欢的类型 |
[15:50] | I don’t know. He brought in your mail. | 不好说 他给你拿了邮件 |
[15:52] | Yeah, he did. | 是啊 |
[15:53] | Girl! | 妹子 |
[15:56] | Wendy, it’s not working. | 温蒂 这不好玩 |
[15:57] | I know. | 我知道 |
[16:01] | Okay, here are the keys to your new locks. | 这是你新锁的钥匙 |
[16:03] | Motion detectors are up, cameras are working, | 运动探测器启动了 摄像头也在工作 |
[16:05] | and I think the squirrels got married. | 我想松鼠结婚了 |
[16:07] | How can you tell? | 你怎么看出来的 |
[16:09] | They’re just eating in silence next to each other. | 它们就默默地挨着彼此吃东西 |
[16:14] | You sure you can’t stay one more night? | 你确定你不能多待一晚吗 |
[16:16] | At this point, I’d just be taking your money. You’re safe. | 这时候我就只是在白拿你的钱了 你很安全 |
[16:19] | I don’t know how to thank you. | 我不知道该如何谢你 |
[16:21] | Promise me one thing. | 答应我一件事 |
[16:22] | I know, I know. I got to use that big fancy grill. | 我知道 我得用那个高档烧烤架 |
[16:25] | I was gonna say please be sure to set your alarm, | 我本来打算说 记得设置好报警功能 |
[16:27] | but, yeah, | 但是没错 |
[16:28] | I will sleep better at night knowing you finally | 知道你终于在了不起的烧烤架上 |
[16:30] | tossed a rib eye on that magnificent bastard. | 放了一块肋眼牛排后 我晚上会睡得更香 |
[16:36] | – Bye. – Bye. | -再见 -再见 |
[16:39] | Girl! | 妹子 |
[16:42] | Oh, stop. | 别闹了 |
[16:44] | Let’s just start watching the movie. | 我们开始看电影吧 |
[16:45] | – I think we just watched one. – Mm-hmm. | -我们刚看了一部 -嗯 |
[16:47] | A little romantic comedy | 一部浪漫喜剧 |
[16:48] | about the lonely rich girl and her bodyguard. | 讲的是孤独的富家女和她的保镖 |
[16:52] | And I-ee-I… | 我 |
[16:56] | Will always love you-ooh-ooh… | 将永远爱你 |
[17:01] | All right, knock it off. | 好了 别闹了 |
[17:04] | I told you, he’s not my type. | 我说过 他不是我喜欢的类型 |
[17:06] | You’re right. You only date super handsome, | 你说得对 你只跟超帅 |
[17:08] | emotionally unavailable jerks. | 情绪不稳定的混蛋约会 |
[17:10] | Mmm. Just hearing that turns me on. | 听到这个词就让我欲火焚身 |
[17:14] | Maybe it’s time for a change. | 也许是时候进行改变了 |
[17:16] | No one’s gonna judge you. | 没人会评判你 |
[17:17] | And if they do, who cares? You’re happy. | 就算他们评判了 谁在乎啊 你快乐了 |
[17:19] | Yeah. Hey, I had a type, too, | 是啊 我也有喜欢的类型 |
[17:20] | and it wasn’t a guy in a wheelchair. | 那可不是轮椅男 |
[17:22] | Yeah, but Adam’s hot. | 但亚当很性感 |
[17:23] | So hot. | 超性感 |
[17:24] | And taken. Taken. | 他名草有主了 |
[17:26] | We’ll see. | 我们走着瞧 |
[17:33] | The point is that cop made you smile | 重点是 那警察能让你笑 |
[17:36] | like I haven’t seen in a long time. | 我很久都没见你这样笑了 |
[17:39] | You guys are really underestimating | 你们真的低估了 |
[17:41] | how shallow I am. | 我有多肤浅 |
[17:49] | Knockity-knock. | 咚咚 |
[17:50] | Hey. What are you doing here? | 你来这里干什么 |
[17:51] | I just came by to bring you this tiny cactus for luck. | 我只是来送你一个小小的仙人掌 祝你好运 |
[17:57] | I know it’s your first day back since the… incident. | 我知道这是事件后你第一天回归 |
[18:02] | “Incident.” I like that. | 事件 我喜欢 |
[18:04] | Around here, they just call it “That time I farted on TV.” | 在这里他们就说”我在电视上放屁的那次” |
[18:09] | I hope you’re not mad at me over all of this. | 我希望你不要因为这些事对我生气 |
[18:11] | Okay, we got to nip this in the bud. | 好吧 我们得把问题扼杀在萌芽阶段 |
[18:14] | Remember when I first started sponsoring you | 记得我刚开始跟你互助时 |
[18:16] | and I asked you to do a fear inventory? | 让你记下你害怕的事 |
[18:18] | – Yeah. – Maybe it’s time for you to do another one, | -记得 -你也许该再做一次了 |
[18:20] | because I don’t remember you writing down, | 因为我不记得你写过 |
[18:21] | “I’m terrified that people won’t like me.” | 我害怕人们不喜欢我 |
[18:24] | – I didn’t write that down. – Why not? | -我没写下来 -为什么 |
[18:26] | I was afraid it would make you not like me. | 我害怕那会让你不喜欢我 |
[18:30] | Do you see what you’re doing here? | 你看到自己在做什么了吗 |
[18:31] | Yeah, yeah. | 看到了 |
[18:34] | No. | 没看到 |
[18:37] | If you always seek the validation of other people, | 如果你总是寻求别人的认可 |
[18:40] | you will never be content, | 你永远也不会满足 |
[18:41] | because you’re making them your higher power. | 因为你让他们成为了你的更高力量 |
[18:44] | You’re doing it with me. | 你对我就是这样 |
[18:45] | And at the end of the day, I’m just another drunk. | 最后 我只是另一个酒鬼 |
[18:51] | Walk with me. | 跟我走 |
[18:52] | Ooh, we’re gonna do the weather? | 我们要预报天气吗 |
[18:58] | – Nora, I just want to… – Watch the cables. | -诺拉 我想 -小心电线 |
[19:01] | Oh, my God, that’s Sports with Kane Stevens! | 天啊 那是体育新闻的凯恩·史蒂文斯 |
[19:06] | And you don’t need him to like you either. | 你也不需要他喜欢你 |
[19:08] | – Yes, I do. – No, you don’t. | -我要的 -不用的 |
[19:09] | Look, I didn’t have a lot going for me growing up, | 我成长时没多少优势 |
[19:12] | but winning people over was one of my strong suits. | 但是争取人心是我的特长之一 |
[19:14] | And I’m sure it served you, but you don’t need it anymore. | 那肯定对你有用 但你现在不需要了 |
[19:18] | Let me ask you something. Do you like yourself? | 我来问你 你喜欢自己吗 |
[19:20] | ‘Cause that’s the only person you should be concerned about. | 因为你只用关心这个人 |
[19:23] | Now, off my set. | 离开我的片场 |
[19:24] | All right. In five, four, three, two… | 好 五 四 三 二 |
[19:29] | Look who’s back. | 瞧瞧谁回来了 |
[19:31] | All right, before I get to the five-day, | 好 我开始预报五天的天气之前 |
[19:34] | let me acknowledge something that got away from me last week. | 让我先承认上周我出的糗 |
[19:38] | Laugh it up, Rob. | 随你笑 罗伯 |
[19:38] | We all know you’re not wearing pants behind that desk. | 我们都知道你桌子下没穿裤子 |
[19:42] | Point is, we’re all human. | 重点是 我们都是人 |
[19:44] | We have our sunny days and rainy days. | 我们有晴天 也有雨天 |
[19:48] | It’s how you dust yourself off | 重点是你如何 |
[19:50] | to get to the next day that matters. | 拍拍尘土 进入下一天 |
[19:53] | So, looking ahead at… | 来看看 |
[19:54] | Oh, my God, she winked at me. | 天啊 她对我眨眼了 |
[19:57] | Which is not a big deal… beginning now. | 那不是件大事 从现在开始 |
[20:34] | Andy! I was sleeping, and the alarm started going off. | 安迪 我在睡觉 警报响了 |
[20:37] | I think somebody’s breaking in. | 我觉得有人闯入了 |
[20:39] | You will? | 你能来吗 |
[20:40] | You’re the best. See you soon. | 你最好了 回头见 |
[20:55] | Girl. | 妹子 |