| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | What exactly do we know about this guy? | 我们对这人了解多少 |
| [00:06] | That he has a vintage jukebox and wants to sell it to me. | 他有台老式自动唱机想卖给我 |
| [00:09] | Well, that’s just what he said online. | 这只是他在网上说的 |
| [00:10] | What if we drove all the way to Reno and it’s a total scam? | 如果我们大老远跑去里诺 却发现是骗局呢 |
| [00:14] | What exactly would the scam be? | 骗局的目的是什么 |
| [00:17] | To get a couple to drive three hours for no reason? | 让一对情侣无缘无故开三个小时车吗 |
| [00:19] | “Ha, ha, I’ve stolen your time.” | 哈哈 我偷了你们的时间 |
| [00:23] | You are so innocent. | 你真天真 |
| [00:24] | It’s like I’m in a relationship with a baby. | 我就像在和婴儿谈恋爱 |
| [00:26] | We get there, they bring out the jukebox, | 我们到那里 他们拿出自动唱机 |
| [00:28] | you give them a bag of money, | 你给他们一袋钱 |
| [00:29] | they say, “We’ll box it up for you,” | 他们说 我们为你装箱 |
| [00:31] | they load it in the van, we get home, | 他们抬上车 我们回家 |
| [00:33] | the box is full of bricks and sand. | 发现箱子里全是砖头和沙子 |
| [00:35] | Who would do that? | 谁会这样做啊 |
| [00:37] | – It… Oh, no. – Yeah. | -不 -是的 |
| [00:39] | I did it with stereo speakers. | 我卖的是立体声喇叭 |
| [00:40] | Sold the same pair 78 times. | 将同一对喇叭卖了78次 |
| [00:42] | And where are they now? In our living room. | 它们现在在哪 在我们的卧室里 |
| [00:45] | You scare me. I’m marrying someone who scares me. | 你吓到我了 我要娶一个吓到我的人 |
| [00:47] | Every couple needs at least one scary person. | 每对夫妻中都要有一个可怕的人 |
| [00:50] | The neighborhood Mormons are afraid to knock on our door. | 周围的摩门教徒不敢敲我们家门 |
| [00:52] | You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
| [00:55] | Speaking of getting married… | 说到结婚 |
| [00:57] | I wasn’t. | 我没说 |
| [00:59] | Well, I am. | 我在说 |
| [01:01] | I don’t think you’re allowed to bring something up and then say, | 我不认为你可以提起某件事 然后说 |
| [01:03] | “Hey, speaking of that thing I just brought up.” | “说到我刚提起的那件事” |
| [01:05] | Okay, how about this? | 好吧 这样如何 |
| [01:08] | Entirely new subject: | 全新的话题 |
| [01:09] | I’ve been wondering when we might get married. | 我很好奇我们何时结婚 |
| [01:11] | Well, why are you wondering that? What’s wrong? | 你为什么好奇 出什么事了 |
| [01:13] | N-Nothing’s wrong. We postponed the wedding | 没什么事 我们推迟了婚礼 |
| [01:15] | because the bar was struggling, but now I can afford a jukebox. | 因为酒吧生意不好 但我现在能买得起自动唱机了 |
| [01:17] | Or bricks and sand. | 或者砖头和沙子 |
| [01:19] | My point is… | 我的重点是 |
| [01:22] | no reason not to set a date. | 没理由不定时间了 |
| [01:25] | Unless you have a reason. | 除非你有理由 |
| [01:28] | Are you accusing me of not wanting to get married? | 你是在指责我不想结婚吗 |
| [01:30] | Well, I wasn’t, but I’m starting to worry. | 我之前没有 但我开始担心了 |
| [01:32] | Stop worrying. I will absolutely marry you at some point. | 别担心 我迟早会嫁给你 |
| [01:36] | See, “At some point” | 看吧 “迟早” |
| [01:37] | sounds like that you don’t want to get married. | 听起来像你不想结婚 |
| [01:39] | So you are accusing me of not wanting to get married. | 所以你就是在指责我不想结婚 |
| [01:41] | Well, you don’t seem very excited about it. | 你看起来对此不是很激动 |
| [01:43] | Oh, you want excited? | 你想要激动啊 |
| [01:45] | Let’s get married! | 我们结婚吧 |
| [01:47] | Is that better? | 更好了吗 |
| [01:48] | I mean, a little bit. It didn’t feel totally real. | 好了一点 但感觉不真 |
| [01:51] | For crying out loud, I’d marry you any time, any place. | 老天啊 我愿意随时随地嫁给你 |
| [01:54] | If we weren’t busy getting scammed | 如果你今天不是忙着被骗 |
| [01:56] | buying a vintage jukebox, I’d marry you today. | 买老式自动唱机 我今天就嫁给你 |
| [01:58] | – You’re so full of it. – I am not. | -你满嘴胡说 -我没有 |
| [02:00] | Well, we keep passing all these quickie wedding chapels. | 我们一直在经过速婚教堂 |
| [02:02] | How about I just pull over at the next one? | 在下一个教堂停车怎么样 |
| [02:04] | Great. That… Right up here. Pull in. | 很好 就这个 停车 |
| [02:06] | – I’m putting on the blinker. – Blink away. | -我打灯了 -打你的打 |
| [02:09] | Oh, perfect. | 完美 |
| [02:10] | I’ve always wanted to get married next to an Arby’s. | 我一直想在阿贝兹快餐店旁边结婚 |
| [02:11] | See, there it is– that-that’s the flimsy excuse | 看吧 这就是你试图 |
| [02:13] | you’re gonna use to try to get out of it. | 用来逃避的蹩脚借口 |
| [02:15] | I’m not getting out of anything, Bozo. | 我没想逃避任何事 笨宝 |
| [02:17] | Okay, big talker, are we doing this? | 好 大嘴 现在结吗 |
| [02:19] | Screw it, let’s get married! | 去他的 我们结婚吧 |
| [02:44] | Hey, how’s it going, Tam? | 你好吗 塔米 |
| [02:46] | Not good. | 不好 |
| [02:48] | I woke up in a pleasant mood, but then I walk into the kitchen | 我起床时很开心 但我走进厨房后 |
| [02:50] | and there’s one of Marjorie’s little notes. | 看到了玛乔丽的小便条 |
| [02:53] | “Don’t forget to put the milk away. X-O, Marjorie.” | 别忘记收牛奶 亲亲抱抱 玛乔丽 |
| [02:55] | She doesn’t mean the X, she doesn’t mean the O. | 她不想亲亲 也不想抱抱 |
| [02:57] | And who else is the note gonna be from? | 而且这便条还能是谁写的 |
| [02:59] | The cats can’t write. | 猫又不会写字 |
| [03:01] | And they would never want the milk put away. | 而且它们永远不想收牛奶 |
| [03:04] | I mean, if you have a problem with me, just talk to me. | 如果你对我有意见 直说就行 |
| [03:05] | Don’t write me a note. I’m not scary, am I? | 别给我写便条 我又不可怕 对不对 |
| [03:08] | No, ma’am. | 对 大姐大 |
| [03:10] | Oh, look. There’s the birthday girl. | 快看 寿星在那里 |
| [03:12] | Got to go give her a hug ’cause it’s her birthday. | 我要去抱她 因为是她的生日 |
| [03:14] | Happy sober birthday! | 戒瘾生日快乐 |
| [03:16] | Aw, thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [03:18] | Six whole years of me waking up where I thought I would. | 我连续六年醒来时都知道自己在哪 |
| [03:21] | I remember your first meeting like it was yesterday. | 我清晰地记得你的第一次互助会 |
| [03:24] | You walked in… | 你走进来… |
| [03:24] | Please don’t tell the “Vomit in my purse” Story. | 求你别讲”吐在我包里”那个故事 |
| [03:27] | It’s a tradition. People love it. | 这是传统 人们喜欢听 |
| [03:30] | Always makes me feel better about myself. | 总是能让我自我感觉更好 |
| [03:32] | Ooh, save it for the party. | 留到派对时再讲 |
| [03:35] | So you’re gonna take a cake today, right? | 你今天会买蛋糕吧 |
| [03:37] | No, I’m gonna wait. | 不 我会等 |
| [03:38] | My mom’s in Reno with Adam. | 我妈妈和亚当在里诺 |
| [03:40] | Feels too important to do it without her. | 感觉这件大事必须有她在场才行 |
| [03:42] | Well, that’s progress. You used to only want your mom here | 这是进步 你以前让你妈妈来 |
| [03:45] | so you could angrily share at her. | 只是为了愤怒地对她分享 |
| [03:48] | The trick was to always share after her so she couldn’t rebut. | 诀窍是总在她之后分享 这样她无法反驳 |
| [03:52] | She’d try to bribe me with Tic Tacs not to call on you. | 她曾试图用嘀嗒糖贿赂我 让我别叫你 |
| [03:55] | I did it once for orange. | 我有次为橙子屈服了 |
| [03:59] | – How’s it going, Tammy? – Not good. Marjorie… | -你好吗 塔米 -不太好 玛乔丽 |
| [04:02] | Did you wake up today? | 你今天醒来了吗 |
| [04:03] | – Yeah, but… – Are you sober? | -醒来了 但是 -你戒瘾了吗 |
| [04:04] | – Yeah, but… – Do you have a bed, a job and friends? | -戒了 但是 -你有住处 工作和朋友吗 |
| [04:07] | – Yeah. – Then the answer is “Amazing.” | -有 -那就应该回答”非常好” |
| [04:11] | I guess it is. I’m amazing. | 我猜是的 我非常好 |
| [04:13] | See, now why isn’t that on a Post-it? | 为什么不在便条上写这种话 |
| [04:19] | Hey, Nora. | 诺拉 |
| [04:21] | This is for you. | 这是给你的 |
| [04:22] | Why are you giving me a card on your birthday? | 你生日为什么要给我贺卡 |
| [04:24] | ‘Cause I just want you to know that I couldn’t have made it | 因为我想让你知道 如果没有你当我的互助对象 |
| [04:25] | through the last year without you as my sponsor, | 我去年是不可能挺过来的 |
| [04:28] | and my sobriety is better because you’re a part of it. | 而且我的戒瘾生活因为有你而更好 |
| [04:31] | And now you know what my card says. | 现在你知道卡里写着什么了 |
| [04:34] | Well, congratulations. | 恭喜 |
| [04:36] | And now you know what my card says. | 现在你也知道我的卡里写着什么了 |
| [04:38] | You know, we could just keep these | 我们可以留着卡 |
| [04:39] | and give them to each other next year. | 明年继续送对方 |
| [04:43] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [04:45] | Come sit with me for a minute. | 过来跟我坐坐 |
| [04:47] | No. No, no, no. | 不不不 |
| [04:49] | I am not sitting down. | 我不坐下 |
| [04:49] | Sitting down means bad news. | 坐下意味着坏消息 |
| [04:51] | Well, you can stand if you want to, | 你想的话可以站着 |
| [04:52] | I’m still moving to Minneapolis. | 但我依然要搬到明尼阿波里斯 |
| [04:55] | What? You’re not serious. | 什么 你不是认真的吧 |
| [04:57] | I got an amazing opportunity. | 我有个很棒的机会 |
| [05:00] | I’m going to be the new Channel 5 meteorologist | 我会成为第五频道新气象主播 |
| [05:02] | for the Land of 10,000 Lakes | 负责万湖之地 |
| [05:04] | and a teeny, tiny part of Canada. | 和一小部分加拿大 |
| [05:06] | You can’t go there, I’m here. | 你不能去那里 我在这里 |
| [05:08] | I’m sorry I’m telling you this on your birthday, | 很抱歉在你生日这天告诉你 |
| [05:11] | but they need me right now. | 但他们现在需要我 |
| [05:12] | It’s better pay, a bigger market, | 薪水更高 市场更大 |
| [05:14] | and the-the weather is insane there. | 而且那里的天气很疯狂 |
| [05:17] | They have eight different kinds of precipitation. | 那里有八种不同的降水 |
| [05:20] | Eight. | 八种啊 |
| [05:24] | But what am I gonna do without you? | 但没有你我怎么办 |
| [05:27] | Your sobriety | 你的戒瘾生活 |
| [05:29] | does not depend on one person. | 不靠某一个人 |
| [05:31] | You’re gonna be fine. | 你会没事的 |
| [05:35] | You’re gonna be better than fine. Give me a hug. | 你会比没事更好 和我抱抱 |
| [05:38] | You don’t do hugs. | 你不抱人 |
| [05:40] | I’m making an exception. | 为你破例 |
| [05:44] | Come on. | 来吧 |
| [05:48] | This makes it so much worse. | 这让一切更糟了 |
| [05:53] | Bonnie, do you promise to love, honor and cherish Adam | 邦妮 你愿意在此后余生 |
| [05:56] | for as long as you both shall live? | 爱 尊重和珍惜亚当吗 |
| [05:57] | Yeah, whatever. | 愿意 随便 |
| [05:59] | And do you, Adam, promise to love, | 亚当 你愿意爱 |
| [06:01] | – honor and cherish Bonnie… – Yep. We done? | -尊重和珍惜邦妮吗 -愿意 完了吗 |
| [06:03] | Um, you haven’t exchanged rings. | 你们还没交换戒指 |
| [06:06] | What else? | 还有什么 |
| [06:08] | Just the kiss. | 只剩接吻了 |
| [06:11] | Aw. That, right there– that’s why we do this. | 真温馨 所以我们才做这个 |
| [06:15] | – I’m having trouble getting you both in. Could you ju… – Take it! | -我拍不进去你们俩 能不能… -快拍 |
| [06:20] | Told you I’d marry you. | 我说过我会嫁给你 |
| [06:22] | Yep, you really showed me. | 是的 你说到做到 |
| [06:27] | I was so excited when I got the call, within two hours, | 我接到电话后很激动 两个小时内 |
| [06:30] | I had quit my job and packed up half the house. | 我辞了工作 打包好了一半行李 |
| [06:33] | Then Ralph comes home and he’s like, “What’s going on?” | 然后拉尔夫回家说 怎么回事 |
| [06:35] | I realized I had told the kids, and had not told the husband. | 我才意识到我告诉了孩子 没告诉老公 |
| [06:39] | Luckily, he’s an “Up and coming” Mystery novelist, | 幸运的是 他是一名”潜力”悬疑小说家 |
| [06:42] | so he pretty much has to do whatever I say. | 所以我说什么他基本都得照做 |
| [06:44] | Happy birthday to me | 祝我生日快乐 |
| [06:48] | Everyone, feel sorry for me | 所有人 快可怜我 |
| [06:52] | Everybody leaves me, everybody leaves me | 所有人都离开我 所有人都离开我 |
| [06:55] | Everybody leaves Christy. | 所有人都离开克丽丝蒂 |
| [07:00] | Finally, I just said, “Ralph, all you do all day | 最后我说 拉尔夫 你整天只会 |
| [07:03] | is write at Starbucks, and they got those in Minneapolis, too.” | 坐在星巴克写作 明尼阿波里斯也有星巴克 |
| [07:07] | Anyway, | 总之 |
| [07:07] | I’m gonna miss each and every one of you. | 我会想念你们每个人 |
| [07:10] | But one of you more than others. | 但更想念你们其中一人 |
| [07:11] | That’s all I got. Thank you. | 我就说这么多 谢谢 |
| [07:13] | Come on! | 拜托 |
| [07:18] | Let’s hear it for Nora. | 为诺拉鼓掌 |
| [07:26] | How are you enjoying the reception? | 您对婚宴还满意吗 |
| [07:30] | This is exactly how I pictured it. | 这完全符合我的想象 |
| [07:34] | You know, it’s possible I was just hungry earlier. | 可能之前我只是饿了 |
| [07:38] | So we got married ’cause you were hangry? | 所以我们结婚是因为你饿了 |
| [07:41] | Oh. There were five turning points in my life | 在我人生中有五个转折点 |
| [07:44] | where a sandwich would’ve changed everything. | 如果有三明治一切都会不同 |
| [07:46] | But then I wouldn’t have Christy. | 但那样我就不会生克丽丝蒂了 |
| [07:48] | At least I’m in good company. | 至少我的伴儿挺好 |
| [07:53] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [07:55] | I’m married. | 我结婚了 |
| [07:57] | You’re married. | 你结婚了 |
| [07:58] | Everyone in this car is married. | 这辆车里所有人都结婚了 |
| [08:01] | This day really took a turn… | 今天真是跌宕起伏 |
| [08:05] | …but I’m happy. | 但我很开心 |
| [08:06] | I’m happy, too. | 我也很开心 |
| [08:09] | Look at us, being happily married. | 看看我们 开心结婚 |
| [08:11] | Dude, we are crushing this. | 我们做得太帅了 |
| [08:14] | We could run a marriage seminar. Ooh, like a weekend retreat. | 我们可以办个婚姻研讨班 比如周末聚会 |
| [08:17] | Those are big moneymakers. | 那种活动很赚钱 |
| [08:19] | Charge couples 400 bucks to get in, | 收夫妻400美元入会费 |
| [08:20] | and then they have to buy my book. | 他们必须买我的书 |
| [08:22] | You haven’t written a book. | 你没写过书 |
| [08:23] | Well, how hard could it be? | 能有多难 |
| [08:24] | Just knock out a sassy forward | 写个劲爆的前言 |
| [08:26] | and then steal from a bunch of church pamphlets. | 然后抄几段教堂小册子 |
| [08:30] | My wife is so scary. | 我老婆太可怕了 |
| [08:33] | All I heard is “My wife.” | 我只听见了”我老婆” |
| [08:38] | I mean, I’m glad it’s your sober birthday and all, | 我很高兴这是你的戒瘾生日 |
| [08:40] | but why couldn’t we go to the bistro where the food’s hot | 但我们为什么不能去咖啡馆吃热餐 |
| [08:43] | and it’s not all lasagna? | 而不是全吃千层面呢 |
| [08:46] | I told you I was bringing my lasagna. | 我说过我要带千层面来 |
| [08:48] | I told you I was bringing my lasagna. | 我说过我要带千层面来 |
| [08:50] | Seems like a thing that could’ve been handled | 看起来留几张便条 |
| [08:52] | through a series of Post-it notes. | 就能解决这事 |
| [08:56] | I only remind people of things | 我只会提醒人们 |
| [08:58] | they need reminding of. | 他们不上心的事 |
| [09:01] | Oh, I canceled a massage for this. | 我居然为此取消了按摩 |
| [09:03] | Christy, quick, change the subject. | 克丽丝蒂 快 改变话题 |
| [09:04] | I hate myself. | 我恨我自己 |
| [09:06] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:09] | Maybe Bjorn’s still available. | 也许比约恩还有空 |
| [09:11] | I just handled things with Nora so badly. | 诺拉的事我应对得很差劲 |
| [09:14] | I can’t believe that after six years of sobriety, | 不敢相信经过了六年的戒瘾 |
| [09:16] | I can still take someone’s good news | 我听到别人的好消息后 |
| [09:18] | and only focus on how it negatively affects me. | 依然只会关注它对我的负面影响 |
| [09:20] | The Germans call that gluckschmerz. | 德国人称之为不爽 |
| [09:22] | Bad feelings over someone’s good luck. | 对别人的好运感到不满 |
| [09:24] | It’s the opposite of schadenfreude. | 这是幸灾乐祸的反义词 |
| [09:28] | I guess you had a lot of time to read in prison. | 我想你在监狱里有很多时间读书 |
| [09:30] | No, my cellmate was German. Hildé. | 不 我的狱友是德国人 希尔德 |
| [09:34] | Good communicator, never left notes. | 善于沟通 从不留便条 |
| [09:38] | I want to be happy for Nora, but I’m so much better at feeling sad for myself. | 我想为诺拉高兴 但我更擅长心疼自己 |
| [09:44] | I get it. Worst part about being in beauty pageants | 我懂 参加选美比赛最糟糕的部分 |
| [09:47] | was when someone else won, | 就是别人获奖了 |
| [09:47] | and I had to stand there smiling and clapping | 我还得站在那面带微笑鼓掌 |
| [09:49] | like I was happy for them, | 好像我为她们高兴似的 |
| [09:50] | but the whole time, I’m thinking, | 但整个过程中 我心里想的全是 |
| [09:51] | “Well, what the hell did I sleep with that judge for?” | 老娘和那个评委睡了有毛用啊 |
| [09:56] | Christy, it’s okay to be upset, | 克丽丝蒂 你可以不爽 |
| [09:58] | just don’t rain on someone else’s parade. | 不要扫别人的兴就好 |
| [10:01] | You’ve got to act better than you feel. | 你做的事必须比你内心的想法更高尚 |
| [10:03] | Like I did when Marjorie betrayed me | 就像是玛乔丽带了她的千层面背叛我时 |
| [10:05] | with her lasagna. | 我做的事一样 |
| [10:07] | Yeah, no matter how much you’re dying inside, | 是啊 不管你是多么心如死灰 |
| [10:09] | you got to flash that big old Vaseline smile. | 都得露出凡士林的微笑 |
| [10:12] | Vaseline? | 凡士林 |
| [10:13] | Yeah. You put it on your teeth | 是啊 你把凡士林涂在牙齿上 |
| [10:14] | so your lips don’t stick. | 这样嘴唇就不会粘住了 |
| [10:16] | And hemorrhoid cream tightens up your eyes. | 痔疮膏能使眼睛紧致 |
| [10:18] | Once, when I was drunk, I switched them. | 有次我喝醉了 涂反了 |
| [10:20] | My face was shiny and my lips were tiny. | 我的脸闪闪发光 嘴变小了 |
| [10:26] | Sorry we’re late. | 抱歉我们迟到了 |
| [10:27] | Yeah, we stopped and got married! | 我们停下来结婚了 |
| [10:31] | What? | 什么 |
| [10:31] | Yeah, we did it in Reno in a quickie chapel. | 我们在里诺的速婚教堂里结婚了 |
| [10:35] | But wait– | 等等 |
| [10:36] | what about the wedding you guys were planning | 你们不是策划了一场婚礼吗 |
| [10:38] | that we’ve been talking about forever? | 我们还一直在聊这事呢 |
| [10:40] | – Eh, skipping it. – I love my wife. | -不办了 -我爱我老婆 |
| [10:41] | I love my husband. | 我爱我老公 |
| [10:45] | Chris, you got a little | 克丽丝蒂 你脸上 |
| [10:46] | gluckschmerz on your face. | 有不爽的表情 |
| [11:00] | I forgot what these look like when they’re not covered | 我都忘了没贴便条的咖啡壶 |
| [11:02] | in Post-it Notes. | 长什么样了 |
| [11:03] | “Don’t forget to rinse me. Being dirty makes me sad.” | 别忘了冲洗我 脏兮兮让人家好难过 |
| [11:08] | Why don’t we get ’em an Insta-Pot and be done with it? | 我们为什么不直接送他们个电压力锅就完事了 |
| [11:10] | Too nice. People who didn’t invite us to their wedding | 这太好了 没有邀请我们参加他们婚礼的人 |
| [11:12] | don’t deserve tender, fall-off-the-bone meat | 不配在一小时内炖好 |
| [11:15] | in less than an hour. | 能脱骨的嫩肉 |
| [11:17] | Yeah, I bought an outfit for this wedding a long time ago, | 我很早之前就为这场婚礼买了衣服 |
| [11:19] | and now I’m never gonna get to wear it. | 现在我永远都没机会穿了 |
| [11:20] | Nobody else I know is ever getting married. | 我认识的别人都不会结婚了 |
| [11:25] | I see you there. | 我看见你们了 |
| [11:29] | There goes my chance to shove cake in Adam’s face. | 我没法把蛋糕拍到亚当脸上了 |
| [11:33] | That’s the bride. | 是新娘啦 |
| [11:34] | I know who’s who! | 我知道谁是谁 |
| [11:37] | She told me I was gonna be the one to give her away. | 她告诉我 会由我把她交给新郎 |
| [11:41] | Do you know how long I have been waiting to give her away? | 你们知道我等了多久送走她那尊大神吗 |
| [11:46] | That’s it. | 好了 |
| [11:47] | I’m gonna get her these thingies you put on snack bags. | 我要送她这些夹在零食袋上的玩意儿 |
| [11:51] | They’re called “Chip clips.” | 这叫做薯片夹 |
| [11:53] | I’m not showing off, it’s just… | 我没在炫耀 只是 |
| [11:55] | you need them when you live alone. | 你独居时需要这东西 |
| [11:57] | I thought this was supposed to be a group gift. | 我还以为这是集体礼物呢 |
| [11:59] | It is. | 就是啊 |
| [12:01] | You each owe me 75 cents. | 你们每个人欠我75分 |
| [12:03] | Oh, come on, ladies, we’re not gonna | 拜托 女士们 我们不能 |
| [12:04] | punish Bonnie with her wedding gift. | 通过结婚礼物来惩罚邦妮 |
| [12:07] | Even though we should, because they literally | 虽然我们是该这样做 因为要不是我 |
| [12:09] | wouldn’t be together if it weren’t for me. | 他们根本就不会在一起 |
| [12:11] | Ooh, everybody grab your phones. | 大家快拿起手机 |
| [12:12] | It’s a rare sighting of Mad Marge. | 这是罕见的愤怒玛乔 |
| [12:14] | How many times did I talk her off the ledge | 多少次她打算和亚当分手 |
| [12:16] | when she was ready to blow everything up with Adam? | 都全靠我拦住了她啊 |
| [12:19] | I deserve to be a bridesmaid. | 我值得当伴娘 |
| [12:21] | At the very least, recite a poem. | 至少我该朗诵一首诗 |
| [12:24] | What happened to “Act better than you feel”? | 不是说做的事必须比内心的想法更高尚吗 |
| [12:26] | Trust me, I am. | 相信我 我已经更高尚了 |
| [12:29] | Well, now that we’re getting things off our chest, | 既然我们要一吐为快 |
| [12:31] | where the hell are the free samples around here? | 这里的免费样品在哪 |
| [12:33] | I smell apple cider. | 我闻到苹果酒的味道 |
| [12:35] | Where is it?! | 它在哪呢 |
| [12:38] | Happy birthday to you. | 祝你生日快乐 |
| [12:42] | Keep coming back. | 要一直回来哦 |
| [12:55] | Christy. Alcoholic. | 克丽丝蒂 酒瘾者 |
| [12:56] | Hi, Christy. | 你好 克丽丝蒂 |
| [12:58] | I want to thank the women who gave me my cake. | 我想感谢送我蛋糕的女人 |
| [13:01] | If it wasn’t for your love and support, | 如果不是因为你的爱和支持 |
| [13:03] | I wouldn’t be standing here. | 我不会站在这里 |
| [13:05] | Or anywhere. | 或者任何地方 |
| [13:07] | And that goes double for my mom, who… | 对我妈妈来说更是如此 她 |
| [13:14] | You know… | 要知道 |
| [13:15] | I was gonna take this cake the other night, | 我本来打算在另一晚收蛋糕 |
| [13:19] | but I didn’t, ’cause my mom wasn’t here. | 但我没有 因为我妈妈不在场 |
| [13:23] | I didn’t want her to miss | 我不希望她错过 |
| [13:24] | a big event in my life. | 我人生中的一件大事 |
| [13:29] | Silly me– | 愚蠢的我 |
| [13:31] | I thought it might hurt her feelings | 我还以为这会让她难过 |
| [13:32] | to be left out of something so important. | 被排除在如此重要的事情之外 |
| [13:37] | That’s why I waited until she was here– | 所以我一直等到她来 |
| [13:40] | so she could enjoy | 这样她就可以看到 |
| [13:41] | how friggin’ far I’ve come. | 我走了多远 |
| [13:44] | I’ve come really far. | 我真的走了很远 |
| [13:46] | Got that, Mom? Really far. | 知道了吗 妈妈 真的很远 |
| [13:49] | And you already shared, so suck it! | 你已经分享过了 所以吃瘪吧 |
| [13:53] | Yep, that’s how I’m ending it. | 对 我的分享结尾就是这样 |
| [14:01] | Do you believe this? | 你能相信这人吗 |
| [14:02] | Wait’ll you hear mine. | 等着听完我的分享吧 |
| [14:15] | Look, I am using and enjoying my chip clips. | 我在使用和享受我的薯片夹 |
| [14:23] | I know they were a gift of spite, | 我知道这是一份恶意的礼物 |
| [14:26] | but I’m gonna go ahead and say it: | 但我还是要说 |
| [14:28] | game changer. | 这太好用了 |
| [14:33] | Listen… | 听着 |
| [14:35] | I need to say something. | 我有话要说 |
| [14:38] | I am sorry for the way I shared today. | 抱歉我今天那样分享 |
| [14:41] | It was not very “Six years sober” of me. | 这不像是坚持戒瘾六年的人 |
| [14:44] | Well, there was some chatter about it at the cookie table, | 饼干桌旁边有人聊到这件事 |
| [14:46] | mostly from me. | 主要是我聊的 |
| [14:50] | The truth is… | 事实是 |
| [14:53] | I’m just really hurt. | 我只是很受伤 |
| [14:56] | We have been through such horrible stuff together, | 我们一起经历过可怕的事 |
| [15:00] | and finally, something wonderful happened | 终于发生了一件好事 |
| [15:02] | and you didn’t let me be a part of it. | 而你没让我参与其中 |
| [15:08] | This may… come as a surprise, | 听到这话你也许很惊讶 |
| [15:11] | given my delightful narcissism… | 毕竟我超级自恋 |
| [15:15] | …but deep down, I always assume that what I do | 但内心深处 我一直认为我做的事 |
| [15:18] | doesn’t matter to people. | 对人们来说不重要 |
| [15:20] | You know, it-it just didn’t occur to me | 我没想到 |
| [15:22] | that anyone would care. | 会有人在乎 |
| [15:25] | Well, that’s stupid. | 真蠢 |
| [15:28] | I cared a lot. | 我很在乎 |
| [15:30] | And it’s not just me. | 不仅是我 |
| [15:32] | Everybody’s upset they missed it. | 大家都很生气他们错过了 |
| [15:33] | I heard Marjorie share, I know. | 我听了玛乔丽的分享 我知道 |
| [15:37] | Strange as it may seem, | 这听起来很奇怪 |
| [15:40] | people want to be a part of our life | 人们希望参与你的生活 |
| [15:42] | because they love you. | 是因为他们爱你 |
| [15:45] | Honey, I am so sorry. | 亲爱的 真抱歉 |
| [15:52] | If I ever get married again, I promise you’ll be there. | 如果我再结婚 我保证你会在场 |
| [15:59] | – Mom? – Yeah? | -妈妈 -怎么了 |
| [16:02] | Can I please be the next one to get married? | 拜托了 下一个结婚的能是我吗 |
| [16:10] | Everyone’s mad at me. | 大家都生我的气 |
| [16:12] | I’ll need more context. | 我需要更多上下文 |
| [16:14] | Turns out I’m beloved. | 原来大家都爱我 |
| [16:17] | There was, like, a Royal Wedding level of interest | 大家想看到我结婚的感兴趣程度 |
| [16:19] | in seeing me get married. | 跟王室婚礼差不多 |
| [16:21] | You mean seeing us get married. | 你是说看到我们结婚 |
| [16:22] | I don’t remember anyone mentioning you, but maybe. | 我不记得有人提到过你 但也许吧 |
| [16:26] | Our wedding was a gigantic mistake. | 我们的婚礼就是大错特错 |
| [16:28] | – Well, that didn’t take long. – No… | -这么快啊 -不 |
| [16:30] | I am serious. You really screwed us this time. | 我认真的 你这次把我们害惨了 |
| [16:33] | – Me? – Yeah. Pressuring me to get married. | -我吗 -是啊 逼我结婚 |
| [16:35] | And then tempting me with Arby’s. | 用阿贝兹快餐店诱惑我 |
| [16:36] | I mean, how could you forget I have a daughter? | 你怎么能忘记我有个女儿 |
| [16:39] | You forget all the time. | 你一直都忘记 |
| [16:41] | Well, she’s devastated. | 她悲伤欲绝 |
| [16:43] | And what about my friends? | 还有我的朋友们呢 |
| [16:44] | You certainly didn’t think about them. | 你绝对没考虑到她们 |
| [16:46] | You robbed those people of a moment of joy, | 你剥夺了那些人片刻的欢乐 |
| [16:48] | and they have so little to look forward to. | 而她们没有什么可期待的 |
| [16:52] | So what do you want to do– have another wedding? | 你想怎么做 办另一场婚礼吗 |
| [16:54] | – Oh, like you’d do that. – Of course I’d do that. | -好像你会做似的 -我当然会做 |
| [16:56] | I’d marry you at the bar tomorrow in front of everyone | 如果这能让你闭嘴 我愿意明天在酒吧 |
| [16:58] | if it’d get you to shut up. | 当着大家的面跟你结婚 |
| [16:59] | Well, I’ll never shut up. See you at 2:00. | 我永远不会闭嘴 两点见 |
| [17:02] | – Fine! – And fix that crazy hair. | -行啊 -整理一下你乱糟糟的发型 |
| [17:11] | Thank you for asking me to officiate. | 感谢你邀请我主持 |
| [17:13] | Oh, let’s face it– we wouldn’t still be together | 面对现实吧 如果因为不是你 |
| [17:16] | if it wasn’t for you. | 我们现在根本不会在一起 |
| [17:17] | Oh, that’s a wild exaggeration. | 你言过其实了 |
| [17:23] | Are you nervous? | 你紧张吗 |
| [17:24] | It’s my second wedding in three days. | 这是我三天内的第二次婚礼 |
| [17:26] | I’m getting the hang of it. | 我已经掌握诀窍了 |
| [17:30] | Oh, you look beautiful. | 你看起来很美 |
| [17:32] | Are you ready? | 你准备好了吗 |
| [17:34] | I can’t believe I ever did this without you. | 真不敢相信我结婚时没叫上你 |
| [17:36] | I’m so glad you’re here. | 我很高兴你在场 |
| [17:38] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [17:43] | Wendy? | 温蒂 |
| [17:54] | Now I’ve got something old, something new, | 现在我有了新东西 旧东西 |
| [17:56] | something borrowed and something weird. | 借来的东西和奇怪的东西 |
| [18:03] | She’s all yours. | 她是你的了 |
| [18:06] | No give-backs. | 不许退货哦 |
| [18:09] | Oh, God, I forgot my tissue. | 天啊 我忘记带纸巾了 |
| [18:11] | No, Marjorie left me a note to remember them. | 玛乔丽给我留了张便条让我记得带 |
| [18:14] | She’s the best. | 她最好了 |
| [18:20] | Friends, we are here today | 朋友们 我们今天齐聚一堂 |
| [18:22] | to witness a miracle. | 来见证一场奇迹 |
| [18:34] | Two lasagnas– seriously? | 两份千层面 没搞错吧 |
| [18:40] | It’s my signature dish. | 这是我的拿手好菜 |
| [18:42] | It’s my signature dish. | 这是我的拿手好菜 |
| [18:46] | Ladies and gentlemen, | 女士们先生们 |
| [18:48] | may I present | 请欢迎 |
| [18:49] | Mr. And Mrs. Adam and Bonnie plunkett-Janikowski! | 亚当和邦妮·普兰科特-贾尼考斯基夫妇 |
| [19:03] | Wendy, as beautiful as that is, | 温蒂 虽然这很动听 |
| [19:05] | we’ve already picked out a song. | 但我们已经选好了歌 |
| [19:07] | Well, I’m here if you need me. | 如果你需要我 我就在 |
| [19:09] | Christy, C-7. | 克丽丝蒂 C7 |
| [19:15] | May I have this dance, Mrs. Janikowski? | 能请你跳支舞吗 贾尼考斯基太太 |
| [19:18] | You may. | 可以 |
| [19:22] | But we’re gonna have to talk about that name. | 但我们得商量下这名字 |
| [19:28] | Are you feeling good or just acting like it? | 你真的感觉很好 还是装的 |
| [19:31] | I am genuinely happy for them. | 我真心为他们高兴 |
| [19:34] | It’s a very unfamiliar feeling. | 这是一种很陌生的感觉 |
| [19:37] | Here’s hoping you get used to it. | 希望你能习惯 |
| [19:41] | Hey, I’ve been thinking. | 我一直在想 |
| [19:44] | I owe so much of my six years to you. | 我这六年多亏了你 |
| [19:47] | I… I was wondering if there’s any chance… | 我想知道有没有可能 |
| [19:48] | I would love to be your sponsor again. | 我很乐意再次当你的互助对象 |
| [19:51] | – Really? – Of course. | -真的吗 -当然了 |
| [19:54] | You’ve gotten a lot less needy than you used to be. | 你没有以前那么粘人了 |
| [19:58] | Oh, God, I was hoping you’d notice. | 天啊 我就希望你能注意到 |
| [20:02] | Damn it! Got lasagna on my outfit. | 该死 我衣服上粘了千层面 |
| [20:05] | – Whose lasagna? – Whose lasagna? | -谁的千层面 -谁的千层面 |
| [20:11] | – I’m enjoying this. – Me too. | -我好享受 -我也是 |
| [20:13] | Where do you want our third wedding to be? | 你希望我们的第三次婚礼在哪里办 |
| [20:17] | Can a gal cut in? | 小妹能插一脚吗 |
| [20:19] | Oh, I’ll check back. I’m sorry. | 我回头再问 抱歉 |