| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Remind me how we got roped into giving away the blood | 提醒一下我 我们为什么被骗来献 |
| [00:04] | that’s keeping us alive? | 我们赖以生存的血液 |
| [00:06] | Wendy signed us all up when we were hungry. | 温蒂趁我们饿的时候让我们全签了名 |
| [00:08] | She knew we weren’t paying attention. | 她知道我们没注意 |
| [00:10] | I swear she used the words “Drag queen bingo,” | 我发誓她说的是”变装女王宾果” |
| [00:12] | or I never would have agreed. | 不然我不可能同意的 |
| [00:14] | What if I walk out of here and get hit by a bus | 如果我离开这里被大巴撞到 |
| [00:16] | and don’t have enough blood in my body to save me? | 体内没有足够的血液维持生命呢 |
| [00:18] | Then they’ll wheel you right back in here | 他们会推你回来 |
| [00:20] | and fill you full of mine. | 给你输满我的血 |
| [00:22] | I would not take that offer. | 我可不会接受 |
| [00:25] | I just hate needles. | 我讨厌扎针 |
| [00:27] | Except for Botox, which actually helps people. | 除了肉毒杆菌 那是真对人有益 |
| [00:30] | You’re gonna be fine. | 你不会有事的 |
| [00:31] | I give blood every six months. | 我每六个月献一次血 |
| [00:33] | It’s nothing to be scared of. | 这种事不用怕 |
| [00:34] | Wow. Some of these questions are pretty personal. | 有些问题非常隐私 |
| [00:37] | “Have you had unprotected sex with someone you do not know… “ | “你是否与陌生人进行过不安全性行为” |
| [00:40] | – Yay, I’m out! – “… in the last three months?” | -好耶 我不用献了 -“在过去的三个月内” |
| [00:43] | Damn it, I’m back in. | 可恶 又得献了 |
| [00:46] | We should be proud that we’re sober and we can do this. | 我们应该为成功戒瘾并能献血感到自豪 |
| [00:49] | There was a time when none of us could’ve given blood | 曾有那么一段时间 因为我们的生活方式 |
| [00:51] | because of our lifestyles. | 我们中没有人能献血 |
| [00:53] | So let’s be grateful and generous of spirit. | 所以让我们心怀感恩和慷慨吧 |
| [00:56] | Oh, crap-a-doodle. | 臭狗屎 |
| [00:58] | What’s the matter? Is it number eight? | 怎么了 是因为第八题吗 |
| [00:59] | “Have you taken money for sex?” | “你是否有过有偿性行为” |
| [01:02] | I started blood thinners. I can’t donate. | 我吃了血液稀释药 不能献了 |
| [01:05] | Wait. Do you have ’em in your purse? Give me one. | 等等 你钱包里带了吗 给我一粒 |
| [01:08] | Oh, I wish I was sick in the hospital | 我希望我生病进了医院 |
| [01:11] | and someone was bringing me | 也有人给我送来 |
| [01:11] | a Valentine’s bear with a heart on his tummy. | 情人节小熊 肚子上抱着爱心 |
| [01:15] | I’m not interested unless that bear | 我一点不感兴趣 除非那头熊 |
| [01:17] | is carrying jewelry. | 挂着珠宝首饰 |
| [01:18] | Adam and I never make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day. | 亚当和我从来不把情人节当回事 |
| [01:21] | Usually, by the time he gets home from the bar, | 通常等他从酒吧回来时 |
| [01:22] | I’ve already eaten my edible underwear and gone to sleep. | 我已经吃了我的可食用内衣 睡觉去了 |
| [01:25] | I have a date with chicken fajitas | 我与辣味鸡肉卷 |
| [01:26] | and Bridget Jones’s Diary. | 和《BJ单身日记》有个约会 |
| [01:28] | Well, Gary and I have a sexy Skype planned. | 加里和我安排了性感的视频连线 |
| [01:32] | Tammy, I may need your help | 塔米 事前我可能 |
| [01:33] | getting off my compression socks beforehand. | 需要你帮我脱下压缩袜 |
| [01:37] | Great. I have a date with chicken fajitas, | 好极了 我与辣味鸡肉卷 |
| [01:39] | Bridget Jones’s Diary and Marjorie’s compression socks. | 《BJ单身日记》和玛乔丽的压缩袜有个约会 |
| [01:44] | Oh, there’s Wendy. | 温蒂在那里 |
| [01:48] | Wendy’s kissing a man. | 温蒂在亲男人 |
| [01:50] | Wendy’s kissing a man! | 温蒂在亲男人 |
| [01:51] | I’m gonna faint before I give blood. | 我要在献血前晕倒了 |
| [02:17] | I’m sorry I can’t pet you, Gus. | 很抱歉我没法爱抚你 格斯 |
| [02:20] | I gave blood. | 我献了血 |
| [02:23] | You know, it can’t always be about you, you know. | 知道吗 世界并不是总围着你转的 |
| [02:32] | – You all right? – I spent all morning saving lives. | -你还好吗 -我整个早上都在拯救生命 |
| [02:36] | I thought you were just giving blood. | 我以为你只是去献血了 |
| [02:37] | Not just any blood. | 不是普通的血 |
| [02:40] | AB negative, the rarest of all. | 阴性AB型血 最少见的血型 |
| [02:43] | The nurse called it the “Champagne of blood.” | 护士称之为”血中香槟” |
| [02:50] | Juice me. | 给我拿果汁 |
| [02:52] | Do you think you’ll have your strength back by Sunday? | 你觉得你周日能恢复气力吗 |
| [02:54] | Oh, no. You’re not still trying to get me to church, are you? | 不 你不是还想让我去教堂吧 |
| [02:58] | I can’t drink the wine, | 我不能喝酒 |
| [02:59] | and those crackers they serve with it are terrible. | 他们给的饼干也很难吃 |
| [03:03] | Sunday is Valentine’s Day, | 周日是情人节 |
| [03:05] | and I’m taking you out for a romantic dinner. | 我要带你去吃浪漫晚餐 |
| [03:09] | Not chicken wings in your office at the bar? | 不去你酒吧的办公室里吃鸡翅吗 |
| [03:11] | Nope. Michelin star restaurant, six-course tasting menu. | 不 米其林星级餐厅 六道式菜单 |
| [03:15] | Wear your highest heels ’cause I’m sitting down anyway. | 穿上你最高的高跟鞋 反正我是坐下的 |
| [03:18] | Oh, my God, our first Valentine’s date. | 天啊 我们的第一次情人节约会 |
| [03:22] | If I wasn’t so weak, I’d kiss you. | 如果不是我太虚弱 我就吻你了 |
| [03:26] | – I’ll come to you. – I’ll do my best to muster a pucker. | -我来吻你 -我尽量撅起嘴 |
| [03:32] | Oh, orange juice and Oreos. | 橙汁和奥利奥 |
| [03:34] | Just had a flashback to preschool. | 我刚想起了学前班 |
| [03:36] | Not what you want when you’re kissing your wife. | 你吻妻子时可不想唤醒这回忆 |
| [03:41] | You know, Bonnie, it’s been more than 24 hours, | 邦妮 已经过了24个小时 |
| [03:43] | so you can take that off now. | 你可以摘下来了 |
| [03:45] | Oh, is that still there | 还在啊 |
| [03:46] | from when I gave my very rare blood to save lives? | 这不是我献罕见血救人命的标志吗 |
| [03:50] | You’re surprised? She wore her “I Voted” Sticker for a month. | 你竟然还惊讶 她把”我投票了”贴纸贴了一个月 |
| [03:53] | I was excited. It was my first time voting under my real name. | 我很激动 那是我第一次用真名投票 |
| [03:58] | Oh, Wendy’s here. | 温蒂来了 |
| [03:59] | This is gonna be fun. Hey, girl! | 这一定很有趣 姑娘 |
| [04:02] | What’s new? What’s going on? | 有什么新鲜事 发生了什么 |
| [04:05] | Uh, I just got my hair cut. | 我刚剪了头 |
| [04:06] | Well, not really cut, just a trim. They call it… | 不算剪 只是修了修 他们说是… |
| [04:08] | No one cares. Who’s the guy? | 没人在乎 那个男人是谁 |
| [04:11] | What guy? | 哪个男人 |
| [04:12] | The doctor you were playing doctor with. | 和你玩医生游戏的那个医生 |
| [04:14] | When we came to give blood… | 当我们去献血时 |
| [04:16] | We saw you sucking face with him. | 我们看到你在嘬他的脸 |
| [04:17] | Why have you been holding out on us? | 你为什么瞒着我们 |
| [04:19] | Oh. Yeah. | 这个啊 |
| [04:21] | We’ve been kind of seeing each other. | 我们算是在约会吧 |
| [04:22] | Yesterday, you went on and on about the lint in your dryer, | 昨天你一直在念叨你烘干机里的棉絮 |
| [04:25] | but nothing about Dr. Hot Lips? | 却一句不提热唇医生吗 |
| [04:27] | It’s new, and I was afraid you guys would tease me. | 我们刚好 而且我怕你们调侃我 |
| [04:30] | Wendy, we would never. | 温蒂 我们永远不会的 |
| [04:32] | Has he taken your temperature yet? And if so, how? | 他给你量过体温了吗 如果量过 怎么量的 |
| [04:34] | Can he prescribe satisfaction? | 他能开满足你的”要”吗 |
| [04:37] | Does he recommend you stay horizontal with plenty of fluids? | 他有没有建议你保持身体水平 多补充液体 |
| [04:41] | All right. | 好了 |
| [04:42] | All right, everybody just leave Wendy alone. | 好了 大家别烦温蒂了 |
| [04:45] | She’s probably tired | 她一定受够了 |
| [04:46] | from all the booster shots he’s giving her. | 他给她打了那么多”针” |
| [04:49] | It’s fun when you play. | 你调皮的时候真有趣 |
| [04:53] | All right, tease all you want. Armand and I are happy. | 好吧 随你们调侃 阿曼德和我很幸福 |
| [04:57] | Armand? | 阿曼德 |
| [04:59] | Is his last name “Douché”? | 他姓”洗阴”吗 |
| [05:03] | – Oh, my God. – What? | -天啊 -怎么了 |
| [05:06] | Gary just broke up with me. | 加里刚和我分手了 |
| [05:08] | – In a text? – What did he say? | -用短信吗 -他怎么说的 |
| [05:12] | I’m sorry. I need a minute. | 抱歉 我需要点时间 |
| [05:17] | Poor Marjorie. | 可怜的玛乔丽 |
| [05:18] | Do you think this is some sort of cosmic re-balancing? | 你们认为这是某种宇宙的平衡调和吗 |
| [05:20] | Like Wendy got a boyfriend so Marjorie had to lose hers? | 温蒂有了男友 所以玛乔丽必须失去男友 |
| [05:23] | It’s the only plausible explanation. | 这是唯一合理的解释 |
| [05:26] | Ow! Damn it! | 该死 |
| [05:29] | What happened? | 发生了什么 |
| [05:31] | Oh, I was looking at my phone, and I fell, | 我在看手机 然后摔倒了 |
| [05:33] | like the stupid old woman I am. | 我真是个愚蠢的老女人 |
| [05:36] | Ow! Oh, I really hurt my wrist. | 我手腕伤得很重 |
| [05:40] | Oh. We should get you to the ER. | 我们应该送你去急诊室 |
| [05:41] | Which in Wendy’s case is the Erection Room. | 对温蒂来说 那是勃起室 |
| [05:44] | No? I guess we’re done. | 不合适吗 看来说完了 |
| [05:45] | Go. | 走吧 |
| [05:50] | Is it weird that I feel like Teen People really gets me? | 《青少年》杂志很合我口味奇怪吗 |
| [05:53] | No. You’ve got a youthful spirit | 不奇怪 你有青春精神 |
| [05:55] | and a giant crush on Harry Styles. | 而且非常喜欢哈里·斯泰尔斯 |
| [05:59] | – Huge news. – Is Marjorie all right? | -大新闻 -玛乔丽没事吧 |
| [06:01] | No idea. | 我不知道 |
| [06:03] | I did a little sleuthing, and I found out | 我侦查了一下 我发现 |
| [06:04] | that Wendy’s boyfriend is a cardiologist. | 温蒂的男朋友是心脏病医生 |
| [06:06] | So I called my girlfriend Jenna, | 所以我给朋友珍娜打了电话 |
| [06:07] | whose husband is also a cardiologist, | 她的老公也是心脏病医生 |
| [06:09] | to see if she had the scoop on him. | 打听她是否有他的独家八卦 |
| [06:10] | Ooh, good work. I bet he’s a model train guy | 好样的 我敢打赌他喜欢模型火车 |
| [06:12] | or has a ferret. | 或者养着一只雪貂 |
| [06:13] | Thank you, but hold your ticket. | 谢谢 但别着急 |
| [06:16] | – He’s married. – What?! | -他结婚了 -什么 |
| [06:18] | I know. I couldn’t believe it, either. | 我知道 我也不敢相信 |
| [06:20] | Do you think she knows? | 你觉得她知道吗 |
| [06:21] | Wendy would never date a married man. | 温蒂永远不会和已婚男约会 |
| [06:22] | – We have to tell her. – Do we? | -我们必须告诉她 -有必要吗 |
| [06:24] | Last week, she cried when the bistro ran out of soup. | 上周 她因为咖啡馆没汤都哭了 |
| [06:27] | Of course we do. She’s our friend, and we care about her. | 当然有必要了 她是我们的朋友 我们在乎她 |
| [06:29] | But it’s gonna break her heart. | 但这会让她心碎的 |
| [06:30] | If we don’t tell her, six months from now, | 如果我们不告诉她 六个月后 |
| [06:32] | she’s gonna be in Palm Springs with him, | 她会和他去棕榈泉 |
| [06:33] | and his wife’s gonna find out and set her car on fire. | 他的妻子会发现 然后放火烧了她的车 |
| [06:36] | Who would do that? | 谁会那样做啊 |
| [06:37] | I always forget you weren’t around for those stories. | 我总是忘记聊这些事时你不在 |
| [06:40] | I never actually set anybody’s car on fire. | 我没有真的放火烧了谁的车 |
| [06:43] | It’s harder than you think. | 比你想象中难烧多了 |
| [06:45] | All right, well, so who’s gonna tell her? | 好吧 那谁来告诉她 |
| [06:47] | Not me. I’ve made her cry enough. | 不是我 我让她哭的够多了 |
| [06:48] | I got the scoop. I’ve done my part. | 我挖到了八卦 我已经尽了义务 |
| [06:50] | Well, I don’t want to do it. | 我不想说 |
| [06:50] | I just got her over being scared of me. | 我刚让她不再怕我了 |
| [06:52] | So we’re in agreement. If Marjorie doesn’t die | 所以我们达成了一致 如果玛乔丽没有因为 |
| [06:54] | from wrist-related complications, we’ll make her tell Wendy. | 手腕并发症暴毙 我们就强迫她告诉温蒂 |
| [06:57] | Good plan. | 好计划 |
| [06:59] | Here she comes. Shh. | 她来了 嘘 |
| [07:00] | Oh, does my face look like it knows too much? | 我的表情看起来像知道太多吗 |
| [07:02] | No, never. | 永远不像 |
| [07:04] | – Hey, guys. – Hey. | -你们好 -你好 |
| [07:05] | – Hey. – There she is. | -你好 -她来啦 |
| [07:09] | Marjorie’s gonna be fine. It’s just a slight fracture. | 玛乔丽没事的 只是轻微骨折 |
| [07:12] | She’s getting a cast, and then we can take her home. | 她要打个石膏 然后我们送她回家 |
| [07:14] | – Great. – Super. | -很好 -太好了 |
| [07:15] | So she’s not gonna die. | 所以她不会死 |
| [07:22] | You know, you all didn’t have to come home with me. | 你们不用全跟我一起回家 |
| [07:24] | Well, I live here so I was coming anyway. | 我住在这里 所以反正我都得来 |
| [07:27] | We just want to make sure you’re okay. | 我们只是想确保你没事 |
| [07:29] | I’m fine. | 我没事的 |
| [07:31] | Doctor said my wrist will heal. | 医生说我的手腕会痊愈 |
| [07:33] | Yeah, but you also just got dumped | 是的 但你也刚在 |
| [07:34] | in a text right before Valentine’s Day. | 情人节前被短信分手 |
| [07:37] | Thank you for reminding me. | 感谢你让我想起这事 |
| [07:39] | We’re all here because we love you, and we just want to help. | 我们来这里是因为爱你 我们只想帮忙 |
| [07:42] | – Can I get you a pillow? – If I need a pillow, I’ll get one. | -需要枕头吗 -如果我需要枕头 我会拿的 |
| [07:45] | Look around. It’s like a Pier 1 exploded in here. | 看看周围 就像家具店在这里爆炸了 |
| [07:48] | All right, no pillow. | 好吧 不要枕头 |
| [07:50] | Do you want to talk about what happened with Gary? | 你想聊聊加里的事吗 |
| [07:52] | No. | 不想 |
| [07:54] | – Are you gonna call him? – No. | -你会给他打电话吗 -不会 |
| [07:56] | Well, I say good riddance. We never liked him anyway. | 我觉得分得好 反正我们也不喜欢他 |
| [07:59] | – Jill! – What? | -吉尔 -怎么了 |
| [08:00] | Who didn’t like him? | 谁不喜欢他 |
| [08:01] | – All of us. – Jill! | -我们所有人 -吉尔 |
| [08:03] | What? I’m just telling her the truth. | 怎么了 我只是在跟她说实话 |
| [08:05] | And as someone who’s recently been dumped herself, | 作为一个最近被甩了的人 |
| [08:07] | I know what you’re going through, | 我知道你的感受 |
| [08:08] | and I just want to say, men suck. | 我只想说 男人很烂 |
| [08:11] | But Gary especially. | 但加里尤其烂 |
| [08:13] | Not all men suck. | 不是所有人男人都烂 |
| [08:15] | Adam’s great, 80%, 85% of the time. | 亚当很好 80%到85%的时候 |
| [08:18] | And I’ve got a great guy, too. | 我也有个好男人 |
| [08:26] | – What? – Well, if we’d gotten some alone time | -怎么了 -如果我们有空跟玛乔丽 |
| [08:28] | with Marjorie, she’d tell you. | 独处一会儿 她就会告诉你 |
| [08:30] | Tell her what? | 告诉她什么 |
| [08:32] | Okay, I’ll jump in front of the bullet. | 好吧 我来挡子弹 |
| [08:34] | Armand’s married. | 阿曼德结婚了 |
| [08:37] | I’m sorry. This must be devastating. | 对不起 你一定很心痛 |
| [08:39] | Oh, I know he’s married. | 我知道他结婚了 |
| [08:41] | – You do? – Yeah. | -你知道吗 -嗯 |
| [08:42] | – Really? – It’s not ideal, but I’m okay with it. | -真的吗 -这并不理想 但我能接受 |
| [08:45] | But you never break the rules. | 但你从不打破规矩 |
| [08:46] | You won’t even smuggle popcorn into a movie, | 你都不会偷带爆米花进影院 |
| [08:48] | and I know ’cause I’ve asked you to. | 我知道的 因为我要求你带过 |
| [08:50] | My purse was filled with cheeseburgers. | 我的包里塞满了芝士汉堡 |
| [08:54] | Wait a minute. Your boyfriend is married? | 等等 你的男友结婚了吗 |
| [08:56] | I know you’re old and injured, but try to keep up. | 我知道你又老又有伤 但拜托跟上 |
| [09:00] | How are you okay with this? | 你怎么能接受啊 |
| [09:01] | You don’t understand. We had an instant connection. | 你不明白 我们一拍即合 |
| [09:04] | I’ve never been with someone who’s this into me. | 我从没和这么喜欢我的人在一起过 |
| [09:06] | Yeah, well, I bet he was into his wife at one point, too. | 嗯 我敢打赌他也曾很喜欢他老婆 |
| [09:11] | Honey, he’ll say he’ll leave her, but he’s never going to. | 亲爱的 他会说他要离开她 但他永远不会离开 |
| [09:14] | It’s okay. I’m fine with things the way they are. | 没关系 我能接受这个现状 |
| [09:19] | All right, since you didn’t have to break the news, | 好 既然你不用说出这件事 |
| [09:21] | you can jump right into your lecture about how wrong this is. | 你可以直接开始说教 告诉她这是大错特错 |
| [09:23] | Do you want a glass of water, cup of tea, or can you just go? | 你想要一杯水或者茶 还是直接开始 |
| [09:26] | – No lecture. – Great. Straight to yelling. | -我不说教 -很好 直接吼她 |
| [09:30] | Mm, we can do anything we want in sobriety | 戒瘾后 我们可以做任何想做的事 |
| [09:32] | as long as we’re willing to accept the consequences. | 只要我们愿意承担后果 |
| [09:36] | Obviously, Marjorie is delirious. | 显然玛乔丽疯了 |
| [09:38] | I’m jumping in. Somebody make me some tea. | 我来吧 去给我泡杯茶 |
| [09:41] | I have dated my share of married men… | 我跟很多已婚男约会过 |
| [09:43] | Back when I was drinking, not proud… | 那时候我还在酗酒 我并不骄傲 |
| [09:45] | And yes, the secrecy was exciting, | 没错 秘密的确很刺激 |
| [09:47] | and the thrill of that guy getting something from me | 那男人从我这里得到他老婆无法提供的东西 |
| [09:49] | that he couldn’t get from his wife made me feel special. | 这种刺激感让我觉得自己很特别 |
| [09:53] | But here’s what I didn’t understand, | 但这一点我当时不明白 |
| [09:55] | because I wasn’t married: | 因为我没结婚 |
| [09:57] | That guy’s wife is a real person with feelings, | 他的老婆是有感情的真人 |
| [10:00] | and she probably suspects something. | 她也许有所怀疑 |
| [10:02] | So don’t think you’re not hurting someone, because you are. | 别以为自己没伤害人 你伤害了他老婆 |
| [10:06] | You know what I think? | 你知道我怎么想吗 |
| [10:08] | I’m happy and you can’t stand it. | 我很幸福 你受不了了 |
| [10:17] | Do you still want the tea? | 你还要茶吗 |
| [10:27] | – This is beautiful. – Yeah. | -真漂亮 -是啊 |
| [10:29] | Does it count as one of those six courses? | 这也算六道菜之一吗 |
| [10:31] | ‘Cause I may want to pace myself. | 我可能要调整速度 |
| [10:33] | That is called an amuse-bouche. | 这叫餐前点心 |
| [10:36] | I did not know that. | 我也不知道 |
| [10:37] | I was told while you were in the bathroom, | 你去卫生间时服务员告诉我的 |
| [10:38] | after I said, “I hope the next course | 就在我说了”我希望盛放下一道菜的 |
| [10:40] | comes on a bigger plate.” | 碟子更大”以后 |
| [10:42] | Well, it looks delicious. Should I take a picture? | 看起来很美味 我该拍照吗 |
| [10:44] | No. I don’t want to be one of those people. | 算了 我可不想当那种人 |
| [10:46] | Yes, I do. | 我想的 |
| [10:49] | You look gorgeous. | 你真是美丽动人 |
| [10:51] | I’m the luckiest man in the room. | 我是这里最幸运的男人 |
| [10:53] | I got a look at the crowd on the way to the bathroom, | 去卫生间的路上 我看了看用餐的人 |
| [10:55] | and yes, you are. | 你的确是 |
| [10:58] | I bought you a little Valentine’s Day gift. | 我给你买了一份情人节的小礼物 |
| [11:01] | God, how much sex do you want tonight? | 天啊 你今晚想做多少次爱 |
| [11:04] | W-We may have to push till tomorrow morning, | 我们可能得推迟到明早 |
| [11:06] | after six courses and this bouche situation. | 毕竟吃了六道菜和餐前点心 |
| [11:13] | Hey, you two. | 你俩好啊 |
| [11:15] | Jill, what are you doing here? | 吉尔 你怎么来了 |
| [11:16] | Oh, just picking up. I paid for this months ago | 我来打包 几个月前我就预定了晚餐 |
| [11:18] | when I thought I would still have a boyfriend, | 我以为到了情人节时我还有男友 |
| [11:20] | but at least I get to eat in my sweats, so that’s a win. | 但至少我可以穿着运动服吃东西 这挺好的 |
| [11:23] | Well, enjoy your Valentine’s. | 享受你们的情人节吧 |
| [11:25] | – Jill? – Yeah. | -吉尔 -怎么了 |
| [11:27] | Would you like to join us? | 你想加入吗 |
| [11:28] | – Oh, no. This is a couples-only zone. – No, come on, sit down. | -不了 这里仅限情侣 -来吧 坐下 |
| [11:32] | – Really? – Absolutely. | -真的吗 -当然了 |
| [11:35] | Okay. I’ll go ask for a chair. | 好 我去要把椅子 |
| [11:39] | You are so wonderful. | 你太棒了 |
| [11:40] | Later, I’m gonna do something to you | 等下我要对你做的事 |
| [11:42] | that’s only legal in Thailand. | 只在泰国合法 |
| [11:46] | Okay, I know this isn’t the night you had planned, | 我知道这不是你计划好的一晚 |
| [11:49] | but I worked really hard on these fajitas, | 但这辣味鸡肉卷是我很用心做的 |
| [11:51] | and I think you’re gonna like ’em. | 我觉得你会喜欢的 |
| [11:52] | I’m not hungry. | 我不饿 |
| [11:53] | – Well, they’re there if you want ’em. – I won’t. | -如果你想吃 它就在那 -我不想吃 |
| [11:56] | Then they’re just there. | 那它就只是在那 |
| [11:58] | I was gonna watch Bridget Jones’s Diary. | 我计划要看《BJ单身日记》 |
| [11:59] | Is that okay with you? | 你觉得可以吗 |
| [12:00] | A story about a woman who can’t keep her man? Why not? | 电影讲的是一个女人无法留住她男人 为什么不看呢 |
| [12:03] | Oh, I also have RoboCop. | 我还有《机械战警》 |
| [12:05] | Impossible to see your current situation in that, | 这下你没法感同身受了吧 |
| [12:07] | unless there’s something about Gary you haven’t told us. | 除非有些关于加里的事你没告诉我们 |
| [12:10] | I don’t care. | 我不在乎 |
| [12:13] | I know this is hard for you, | 我知道这对你来说很难 |
| [12:14] | but you still have so much to be grateful for. | 但你还有很多值得感激的事 |
| [12:17] | Like what? I’m old, I’m alone, | 比如什么 我年纪大了 孤身一人 |
| [12:20] | my bones snap like dry twigs, | 我的骨头像枯枝一样容易折断 |
| [12:21] | and I get to spend the next two weeks | 接下来的两周里 |
| [12:23] | taking a shower with a plastic bag on my arm. | 我都要在手臂上绑着塑料袋洗澡 |
| [12:26] | Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? | 我能做什么让你感觉好些吗 |
| [12:28] | Go back in time and tell me not to dump Wayne for Gary. | 穿越回去 告诉我不要为了加里甩了韦恩 |
| [12:32] | I would if I could. | 如果可以 我会的 |
| [12:34] | Then I’d go further back in time and invent the zipper. | 然后我会穿越到更远的过去 发明拉链 |
| [12:36] | Though I don’t know when that was invented. | 虽然我不知道那是什么时候发明的 |
| [12:38] | It’d be pretty embarrassing if I show up and say, | 如果我穿越回去 说 |
| [12:40] | “Hey, look what I invented!” | 瞧瞧我发明了什么 |
| [12:40] | Then the real zipper guy is like, | 然后真正发明拉链的人说 |
| [12:42] | “Nice job, loser.” | 干得好 废柴 那就尴尬了 |
| [12:44] | Can you eat your fajitas in your bedroom? | 你能去你的卧室吃辣味鸡肉卷吗 |
| [12:45] | Yes, I can. | 可以 |
| [12:50] | – Wendy, right? – I know. A married man? | -温蒂啊 -就是啊 已婚男人 |
| [12:54] | I can’t stop thinking about it. | 我一直在想这件事 |
| [12:55] | I finally got her to stop thinking about it, | 我好不容易才让她别想这件事 |
| [12:56] | so can we change the subject? | 我们能换个话题吗 |
| [12:58] | I’m even willing to go back to panty liners. | 我甚至愿意继续聊卫生巾 |
| [13:03] | This was set to be my worst Valentine’s Day ever, | 这本来是我人生中最糟糕的情人节 |
| [13:06] | and I’m having fun. | 结果我却过得很开心 |
| [13:07] | Oh, I’d say my worst was waking up in a Colombian jail. | 我最糟糕的情人节是在哥伦比亚的监狱里醒来 |
| [13:10] | Not sure how I got there. | 我不知道我怎么进了监狱 |
| [13:11] | Something to do with selling illegal eels. | 好像跟卖非法鳗鱼有关 |
| [13:15] | I was gonna tell a harrowing story | 我本来想说我在弗雷斯诺 |
| [13:16] | about a flat tire in Fresno, | 爆胎的悲惨故事 |
| [13:18] | but I forgot who I was having dinner with. | 但我忘记在跟谁吃晚饭了 |
| [13:20] | It’s hard to unseat the champ. | 本冠军是很难打败的 |
| [13:23] | Well, the truth is, | 事实是 |
| [13:24] | all my Valentine’s Days were the worst before I met you. | 在我遇见你之前 我所有的情人节都糟透了 |
| [13:29] | I love you. Can I open my present now? | 我爱你 我能拆礼物了吗 |
| [13:31] | There’s a present? Go, go, go! | 还有礼物吗 快拆 |
| [13:34] | Oh, wait. No, no. Don’t open it till I’m off. | 等等 等我接完电话再拆 |
| [13:37] | Hey, Tammy. | 塔米 |
| [13:38] | Marjorie’s gone down a rabbit hole, | 玛乔丽情况很糟糕 |
| [13:39] | and I don’t know what to do. | 我不知道如何是好 |
| [13:41] | She’s sitting in the dark | 她坐在黑暗中 |
| [13:42] | muttering about giving her cats away to younger people. | 嘟囔着要把她的猫送给年轻人 |
| [13:47] | – Oh, no. – What’s going on? | -不 -怎么了 |
| [13:49] | Marjorie’s gone to a bad place, and Tammy don’t know what to do. | 玛乔丽情况很糟糕 塔米不知道如何是好 |
| [13:52] | Who are you talking to? | 你在和谁说话 |
| [13:53] | Oh, Bonnie. I’m out with her and Adam. | 邦妮 我跟她还有亚当在一起 |
| [13:55] | Why are you… ? Never mind. Let me talk to her. | 为什么 算了 把电话给她 |
| [14:00] | Hey, Tam. | 塔米 |
| [14:08] | – Two more for dinner? – Uh-huh. | -晚餐加两人吗 -是的 |
| [14:14] | I heard about the whole Gary text thing. | 我听说了加里发短信的事 |
| [14:16] | That’s just messed up. I’m sorry. | 那真糟糕 我很遗憾 |
| [14:19] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [14:20] | He didn’t like him, either. | 他也不喜欢加里 |
| [14:22] | Did everyone hate Gary? | 大家都恨加里吗 |
| [14:24] | Hate’s a strong word, but it’s the right word. | 恨这个词很强烈 但是非常正确 |
| [14:27] | Why didn’t anybody tell me? | 为什么没人告诉我 |
| [14:29] | Well, you seemed so happy. | 你似乎很幸福 |
| [14:31] | And we didn’t want to rain on your sex parade. | 我们不想破坏你的性生活 |
| [14:33] | Oh, well, he was the grand marshal of the sex parade. | 他的确床技很好 |
| [14:37] | But if I’m completely honest, | 但要我说实话 |
| [14:39] | I sometimes found him challenging. | 有时候和他相处很难 |
| [14:41] | – He could be a bit opinionated. – And a little overbearing. | -他有点固执己见 -有点专横 |
| [14:43] | – Kind of a know-it-all. – He was a dick. | -算是个万事通 -他是个混蛋 |
| [14:46] | Don’t say “Dick” In a swanky restaurant. | 别在高档餐厅里说混蛋 |
| [14:50] | I don’t know about women… but guys have a rule | 我不了解女人 但男人有条规定 |
| [14:53] | that you don’t bash the ex until you’re sure | 别说前任的坏话 |
| [14:55] | that they’re not getting back together. | 除非你确定他们不会复合 |
| [14:57] | Like the other person’s dead, preferably cremated | 对方已经死了 最好是火化了 |
| [14:59] | and you’ve looked inside the urn. | 你已经看过骨灰盒里面了 |
| [15:04] | He broke up with me by text, so, in the words of Taylor Swift, | 他是发短信告诉我分手的 所以用霉霉的话 |
| [15:07] | “We are never, ever, ever getting back together.” | “我们永永远远也不会复合了” |
| [15:11] | Well, for what it’s worth, I think you can do a lot better. | 无论如何 我觉得你能找到更好的男人 |
| [15:14] | Well, thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [15:15] | And I’m starting to feel a little better, too. | 我开始感觉好受些了 |
| [15:18] | Maybe all I needed was a night out with my gals. | 也许我只需要跟闺蜜们出来玩一晚上 |
| [15:21] | Aw, you hear that? You’re one of the gals. | 你听见了吗 你也是闺蜜之一 |
| [15:23] | I’m honored. Though, I think the people in this restaurant think | 我很荣幸 但我觉得这家餐厅的人以为 |
| [15:26] | I’m some sort of cult leader. | 我是邪教领袖 |
| [15:31] | You know the one thing that’s missing? | 你们知道还缺什么吗 |
| [15:32] | Ketchup? I think they’re pretending they don’t have any. | 番茄酱吗 我觉得他们是假装没有 |
| [15:35] | Wendy. If I’m gonna have a romantic Valentine’s dinner | 是温蒂 如果我要跟所有闺蜜共进 |
| [15:37] | with all my girlfriends, she should be here. | 浪漫的情人节晚餐 她也该在 |
| [15:40] | Excuse me. We’re gonna need another chair. | 打扰了 我们还需要一把椅子 |
| [15:42] | And I get that you “Don’t have ketchup,” | 我知道你们没有番茄酱 |
| [15:44] | but do you have ranch or barbecue sauce or mustard? | 但你们有牧场沙拉酱 烤肉酱或者芥末吗 |
| [15:47] | Just looking for a little dip here, sir. | 我想来点蘸酱 先生 |
| [15:52] | I’m glad you called. | 很高兴你打了电话 |
| [15:54] | Having a boyfriend who’s with his wife on Valentine’s Day is rough. | 我男友在情人节陪老婆 这挺难的 |
| [15:57] | Even though I violently disagree with your choices, | 尽管我非常不同意你的选择 |
| [16:00] | I’m violently happy you’re here. | 但我非常高兴你来了 |
| [16:04] | One for you. | 给你一支玫瑰 |
| [16:06] | One for you. | 给你一支玫瑰 |
| [16:08] | One for you. | 给你一支玫瑰 |
| [16:11] | One for you. | 给你一支玫瑰 |
| [16:12] | And two for you. | 给你两支 |
| [16:15] | I’m no dummy. | 我不是笨蛋 |
| [16:17] | You know, you see this happen in restaurants, | 你在餐厅看到别人送玫瑰时 |
| [16:18] | and it’s the hokiest thing ever, | 还觉得那是最做作的事 |
| [16:20] | and then it happens to you, and it’s so nice. | 接着有人送了你玫瑰 你就觉得太好了 |
| [16:22] | You’re a classy son of a bitch. | 你真是个有品位的王八蛋 |
| [16:24] | Swanky. I forgot. | 高档 我忘了 |
| [16:27] | – Should we give this another shot? – Ooh, tiny box alert. | -你要再试一次吗 -小盒子警告 |
| [16:33] | Oh, Adam. | 亚当 |
| [16:36] | – It’s beautiful. – Oh, let me see! | -真漂亮 -让我看看 |
| [16:39] | Oh, that’s a nice weight. | 好重啊 |
| [16:41] | Oh, Adam, so elegant. | 亚当 真精美 |
| [16:43] | – Really pretty. – There’s an inscription. | -好美 -里面刻了字 |
| [16:45] | Oh, yeah. Look, it says… | 是啊 上面写着 |
| [16:48] | Ooh, probably Bonnie should read it. | 也许该让邦妮念 |
| [16:52] | “No, sorry, no Linda here.” | 抱歉 这里没有琳达 |
| [16:56] | What does that mean? | 这是什么意思 |
| [16:57] | Those are the first words you ever said to me. | 这是你对我说的第一句话 |
| [16:59] | When I called the wrong number | 我打错了号码 |
| [17:00] | that ended up being the right number. | 结果却遇到了对的人 |
| [17:05] | You’re amazing. | 你太棒了 |
| [17:09] | I would like to propose a toast. | 我想提议敬酒 |
| [17:11] | To Adam Janikowski, | 敬亚当·贾尼考斯基 |
| [17:12] | who has made our friend happier than she has ever been, | 他让我们的朋友比以往更快乐 |
| [17:15] | and he also puts up with all of us, | 而且还容忍我们所有人 |
| [17:17] | which is something even we have trouble doing. | 有时候我们自己都做不到 |
| [17:22] | I knew when I married Bonnie | 我跟邦妮结婚时就知道 |
| [17:23] | that I was also marrying all of you. | 我是跟你们所有人结婚了 |
| [17:25] | And I’m good with that. | 我没意见 |
| [17:26] | I love you guys. | 我爱你们 |
| [17:29] | Pay attention, ladies. | 注意 女士们 |
| [17:30] | Don’t settle for anything less than this. | 比他差的都别将就 |
| [17:34] | Wendy, don’t you even look at him. | 温蒂 你一眼都别看他 |
| [17:49] | Well, somebody’s got their sparkle back. | 有人又恢复活力了 |
| [17:52] | Well, I stopped at the farmer’s market on the way here, | 过来的路上 我去了趟农贸市场 |
| [17:55] | and I got talking to the cantaloupe man. | 跟卖哈密瓜的人聊了天 |
| [17:58] | Long story short, we’re having coffee next Wednesday. | 长话短说 我们下周三要喝咖啡 |
| [18:01] | Oh, thank God. I can put | 谢天谢地 我可以 |
| [18:02] | all the sharp knives back in the kitchen. | 把锋利的刀放回厨房了 |
| [18:05] | The good news is maybe it’ll work out, | 好消息是 也许我们能成 |
| [18:07] | but the better news is, even if it doesn’t, | 但更好的消息是 就算我们没成 |
| [18:09] | it’s given me hope that I’ve still got game. | 这依然给了我希望 我风韵犹存 |
| [18:11] | Mm. The best news is we can make jokes | 最好的消息是 我们可以开玩笑说 |
| [18:13] | about him squeezing your melons. | 他挤你的”蜜瓜”了 |
| [18:16] | Oh, I want a cantaloupe man. | 我也想要个卖哈密瓜的人 |
| [18:19] | I really need to start doing my own shopping. | 我真的需要亲自去购物了 |
| [18:22] | No. I’d rather be alone forever. | 不 我宁愿孤独终老 |
| [18:26] | It’s ’cause those were the first words I ever said to him. | 因为这是我对他说的第一句话 |
| [18:28] | It was a wrong number. Pretty magical story. | 电话打错了 很神奇的故事 |
| [18:32] | Hey, Bonnie, can I talk to you for a second? | 邦妮 我能和你聊聊吗 |
| [18:34] | Yeah. Later, I’ll show you pictures of our dinner. | 好 回头我给你看我们晚餐的照片 |
| [18:37] | My phone put them into a little video with sentimental music. | 我的手机自动剪辑了一个带有伤感音乐的小视频 |
| [18:40] | It’s actually very moving. | 非常感人 |
| [18:43] | What’s up? | 怎么了 |
| [18:45] | I just want to let you know that Armand and I broke up. | 我想告诉你 阿曼德和我分手了 |
| [18:48] | I’m sorry, but I do think you made the right choice. | 很遗憾 但我觉得你做了正确的选择 |
| [18:52] | It wasn’t my choice. It was his. | 那不是我的选择 而是他的 |
| [18:58] | But can we say it was mine? | 但我们能说这是我的选择吗 |
| [19:00] | That’s what I heard. | 我听到的就是这样 |