| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | We could get Deangelo flowers. | 我们给迪安杰罗送花吧 |
| [00:02] | No, you can’t get flowers for someone who’s in a coma. | 人家昏迷你送花干啥 |
| [00:04] | They’ll wilt before he wakes up. | 人醒了花都枯萎了 |
| [00:06] | Yeah, that’s true. Good point. | －也对哦 －说的在理 |
| [00:07] | All in favor of the baskets full of chocolates, teddy bears and balloons. | 赞成送装满巧克力 泰迪熊和气球的礼品篮的请举手 |
| [00:11] | Wait, wait. All in favor of the knapsack | 等，赞成送罐装食品，电锯，汽油 |
| [00:14] | filled with canned goods, chainsaw, | |
| [00:15] | gasoline and emergency radio in case he wakes up post-apocalypse. | 和应急无线电一背包 以防他醒于世界末日时代的请举手 |
| [00:22] | Nope. Baskets have it. | 没人，礼品篮胜出 |
| [00:23] | So as it turns out, unless you’re a young child, | 事实证明，只要不是小孩子 |
| [00:25] | or a prison inmate, you don’t need anyone supervising you. | 或囚犯 你就不需要被人监督 |
| [00:30] | People just come in and do their work on their schedule. | 人们正常上班 完成自己的工作 |
| [00:33] | Imagine that. People like us allowed to sell paper. | 想想看 我们这种人被允许卖纸 |
| [00:36] | Unsupervised. | 没有上级盯着 |
| [00:38] | And yet, somehow it works. | 而且还没出大乱子 |
| [00:40] | Must be because the stakes are so high. | 肯定是风险太高了 |
| [00:42] | Well, I really appreciate the offer, | 很感谢您的邀请 |
| [00:44] | but I’m just happy the way things are. | 不过我对现状很满意 |
| [00:47] | Okay. Thank you. | 好的，多谢 |
| [00:51] | That was Jo asking me if I wanted to take over as acting manager | 乔要我在新经理上任前 |
| [00:54] | while they find a replacement. | 担任代理经理 |
| [00:56] | I told her I don’t wanna mess this up, right? | 我跟她说我不想搞砸，不是吗？ |
| [00:59] | There’s a consensus. People are happy. | 大家心存共识，其乐融融 |
| [01:07] | Dwight Schrute. | 德怀特舒特 |
| [01:11] | Yes, I would. | 是的，我接受 |
| [01:14] | Thank you. | 感谢您 |
| [01:16] | Jordan, gather my things from my desk. | 乔丹，收拾我桌上的东西 |
| [01:31] | Wait. | 等一下 |
| [01:37] | What have you done? | 你在干什么啊？ |
| [01:43] | Mose? | 莫斯？ |
| [01:45] | You’ll never guess where I am right now. | 你肯定猜不到我身在何方 斯克兰顿 欢迎您 办公室 |
| [02:26] | Can’t stay there all day. | 你不能一直呆在里面 |
| [02:27] | I’m coming. | 马上就来 |
| [02:30] | Do I at least get to go with you in this fantasy? | 我至少能陪你一起幻想吧？ |
| [02:34] | You’d slow me down. | 你会拖后腿的 |
| [02:35] | Dwight has been acting manager for three months now. | 德怀特当代理经理，已经三个月了 |
| [02:39] | No, a week. Just feels like three months. | 错，仅仅一周，只是感觉像三个月 |
| [02:43] | Let’s see. We all have to punch into a time clock, | 我们打卡要用打卡机 |
| [02:46] | which is very old, very strong, | 又旧又费劲，卡槽只有指头般大小 |
| [02:48] | and has the slot about the size of a finger. | |
| [02:51] | We were all given new business cards, | 名片也换了新的 |
| [02:53] | big enough to set us apart from the competition. | 大到他认为能从其他竞争者中 脱颖而出 |
| [02:55] | Which is how I learned that our titles are all now junior employee. | 也是因此我发现 我们都变成了初级员工 （杰姆哈尔佩特 初级员工） |
| [02:59] | Our lunch breaks are staggered to prevent wasting time. | 每个人的午餐休息时间被错开 避免浪费时间 |
| [03:03] | Mine’s at 10:30 and I find that the first hour | 我是早十点半，我发现每天的第一个钟头 |
| [03:06] | of the day goes by a lot quicker | |
| [03:07] | than the second seven hours. | 比剩下七个过得快多了 |
| [03:10] | Stop stalling! | 别站着了！ |
| [03:15] | Come on. | 走吧 |
| [03:18] | I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America | 我宣誓效忠 美利坚合众国国旗 |
| [03:24] | and to the Republic for which it stands, | 及其所象征的共和国 |
| [03:27] | one nation under God, indivisible, | 上帝护佑国家一体，不可分割 |
| [03:31] | with liberty and justice for all. | 自由公正与我们同在 |
| [03:33] | …justice for all. | |
| [03:34] | – Amen. – Excellent. | －阿门 －很好 |
| [03:36] | Morning announcements. | 早上的公告 |
| [03:38] | There’s been a problem with some people sharing copier codes. | 共用复印机密码一直是个问题 |
| [03:41] | Your copier code is a distinct 21-digit number that is unique to you | 每位员工的密码 由不同的21位数字组成 |
| [03:45] | and you only, okay? Don’t share it. | 是专属，懂吗？别告诉别人 |
| [03:47] | Jo Bennett, our CEO, will be here today for a high-level meeting | 乔本内特，我们的首席执行官 将莅临此间进行高层会议 |
| [03:50] | involving Gabe and myself. | 我和盖比将出席这场重要会议 |
| [03:51] | Ooh! About what? | 关于什么？ |
| [03:52] | That’s on a need-to-know basis. | 请遵守须知原则 |
| [03:54] | I thought I needed to know for your calendar. | －我得知道以便帮你安排日程 |
| [03:57] | General meet and greet. | 见面和打招呼 |
| [03:59] | So I expect you to be on your best behavior, | 我期望所有人都有良好表现 |
| [04:00] | which means none of you will be insubordinate, | 即所有人都要服从安排 |
| [04:03] | nor will you foment insurrection. | 也不许煽动暴动 |
| [04:05] | Question. If we’ve already fomented insurrection, | 提问 如果已经发生了暴动 |
| [04:08] | may we be grandfathered in? | 那是否不受以上陈述的制约？ |
| [04:10] | Define “foment.” | －请定义“煽动” |
| [04:12] | You define “foment.” | －你定义 |
| [04:19] | Please take note of the new color-coding system. | 请对新的色标编码系统 |
| [04:24] | Ah-ha! | 进行记录 |
| [04:25] | Oh, my God! What is wrong with you? Got you! | －哦，天呐，你这人有毛病吧 －被我抓到了， |
| [04:27] | Why are you late? | －为什么迟到？ |
| [04:28] | It’s none of your business, actually. | －不关你的事 |
| [04:29] | It’s very medical and personal. | 我去看医生了，这是隐私 |
| [04:30] | All right. | 那好 |
| [04:32] | You stop me when I reach the diseased area. | 我点到患病部位你就喊停 |
| [04:44] | In fairness, Darryl did tell me that joke, so… | －不过，达瑞尔确实讲这个笑话了… |
| [04:46] | Oh! Darryl’s funny. | －达瑞尔太逗了 |
| [04:48] | I know, right? Hey, Andy? | －对啊，是吧？ －嗨，安迪？ |
| [04:50] | Yeah? Can I talk to you a second | －啥事儿 －能和你谈下 |
| [04:52] | about these client memos? | 客户备忘录吗？ |
| [04:53] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [05:01] | What’s going on? | 怎么了 |
| [05:05] | Are you still in love with Erin? | 你是不是还爱着艾琳？ |
| [05:07] | What? | －啥？ |
| [05:08] | Because I am. | －因为我还爱 |
| [05:10] | I need to get her back. I can’t be alone anymore. | 我要她回来 我不能一个人了 |
| [05:14] | Andy, do you like being alone with me right now? | 安迪，你喜欢和我 单独呆在一起吗？ |
| [05:17] | – No, this is horrifying. | – No, －不，太吓人了 －对 |
| [05:18] | I don’t like being alone with me, either. Okay? | 我也不想和我自己单独呆着 懂吗？ |
| [05:21] | I have to get Erin back. | 我不能失去艾琳 |
| [05:23] | Are you still gonna date her? | 你会不会还跟她约会？ |
| [05:25] | We’re just friends, okay? | 我俩只是朋友关系 |
| [05:27] | Do you promise that? | 你保证吗？ |
| [05:29] | Yeah, fine, I promise. We’ll never date again. | 好吧好吧，我保证，我不会再去约她 |
| [05:32] | Can we go outside now? | －咱能出去了吗？ |
| [05:33] | No, just give me a second. | －不行，你等我一下 |
| [05:35] | I don’t want anyone to know I’ve been crying. | 我不想让别人看到我哭过 （加入拳头俱乐部） |
| [05:46] | Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you think you’re doing? | 喂喂，你搞什么鬼呢？ |
| [05:48] | What’s this? What’s The Fist? | 这是什么？贴个拳头干什么？ |
| [05:50] | It’s just a social club. | 就是一个社团 |
| [05:51] | Like the French Revolution or The Black Panthers or communism. | 和法国革命、美国黑豹党 和共产党差不多 |
| [05:54] | It’s just a club. Guys talking. | 就是个俱乐部而已，聊聊天啥的 |
| [05:57] | You expect me to believe that you’re starting a rebellion? | 你想让我以为你在密谋造反？ |
| [05:59] | Nope, social club. God, I hate | 没，社团而已，天呐 |
| [06:01] | when everybody calls us a rebellion. | 我讨厌别人叫我们叛军 |
| [06:07] | Okay, you know what? I would love to join The Fist. | 好吧，你知道吗？ 我想加入拳头俱乐部 |
| [06:10] | And we would love to have you, but not today. Unfortunately, it’s a bad day, | 我们也希望你能加入，但今天不行 很不幸，今天不走运 |
| [06:13] | what with Operation Overthrow and everything. | 一堆推翻行动之类的事儿 |
| [06:15] | But I have noted it. | 但我收到你的申请了 |
| [06:34] | One. | 一 （自觉支付：59美分） |
| [06:49] | Pam, I have to show you this video. | Pam，给你看看这视频，你一定喜欢 |
| [06:51] | You’re gonna love it. It’s Beyonce falling with a fart mixed in. | 是碧昂斯倒下的视频 配有放屁的声音 （已拦截） |
| [07:02] | I will never be happier than I am right now. | 现在是我比任何时候都要愉悦 （德怀特舒特 代理经理） |
| [07:04] | I will also never be less happy. | 而且这种愉悦不会停止 |
| [07:06] | I will be at my current maximum happiness for the rest of my life. | 我现在拥有我余生的最高愉悦度 |
| [07:09] | Because I am manager of the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin. | 因为我是米福林 在斯克兰顿分公司的经理了 |
| [07:15] | Acting manager. | 代理经理 （欢迎去德怀特的 咖啡因区领取小吃） |
| [07:20] | No food now? Someone has to do something about Dwight. | 没吃的了？ 要有人去管一下德怀特了 |
| [07:24] | He put some snacks in the freezer for us. | 他在冷柜里给我们放了些零食 |
| [07:27] | You mean the frozen mice for the piranha? | 你是说那些喂食人鱼的冷冻老鼠吗？ |
| [07:29] | No, the blueberry slurpy pouch. | 不，那袋蓝莓思乐冰 |
| [07:31] | Hmm. He means the ice pack. | 他说的是那袋冰块 |
| [07:34] | 2:00 should probably be okay. | 两点应该可以 |
| [07:36] | I can either take your number or… | 我可以留下您的电话或者… |
| [07:38] | I’m sorry, this can’t wait. | 不好意思，我有急事 |
| [07:40] | He’s just gonna call back. | 他能再打来 |
| [07:41] | Erin, I am in love with you. | 艾琳，我爱你 |
| [07:44] | I don’t believe in much, okay? | 我没什么信仰，好吗？ |
| [07:46] | I don’t believe in horoscopes. I don’t believe in Christmas. | 我不信占星术 我不信圣诞节 |
| [07:50] | I sure as hell don’t believe in God. | 我也绝不相信上帝 |
| [07:53] | What? | －什么？ |
| [07:54] | Or maybe there’s a God, I don’t know. | －或许有上帝吧，我不知道 |
| [07:55] | It’s just not a guy with a long, white beard. | 他只是个长着长长的白胡子的男人 |
| [07:59] | Or it could be. It’s possible that that is exactly what God is. | 挺有可能的 上帝可能就长成那样 |
| [08:04] | But for all of the disbelief, I believe in us. | 但除了这些不相信之外 我相信我们 |
| [08:08] | I believe in love. | 我相信爱 |
| [08:10] | You have made me believe that for all of the hokum | 你让我相信了所有的那些废话… |
| [08:13] | out there… | |
| [08:16] | Do we not have voice-mail? | 我们没有语音信箱吗？ |
| [08:18] | Dwight doesn’t trust robots to give us our messages. | 德怀特不相信机器 帮我们留的言 |
| [08:22] | Well, | 呃 |
| [08:24] | it just… | 它… |
| [08:25] | It messes up my rhythm, but… | 打乱了我的节奏，但… |
| [08:28] | I’m taking a break from dating. | 我暂时不想约会 |
| [08:30] | Gabe was a great guy with so many wonderful qualities, | 盖比很好 人品也很不错 |
| [08:34] | but it was a challenge being touched by him. | 但…被他触摸真的是种挑战 |
| [08:37] | Wow, you’ve really embraced the whole Bond villain aesthetic. | 哇，你真是拥有邦德电影里 坏蛋们的审美啊 |
| [08:39] | Jim, Jim, Jim. | 杰姆 |
| [08:41] | The gun is a Beaumont Adams. | 这把枪是博蒙特亚当 |
| [08:43] | Jo collects them. I thought we could have some nice small talk about it. | 乔在收集 让我和她间有点小话题 |
| [08:46] | And the piranha’s a rescue. | 食人鱼是收养的 |
| [08:48] | And the desk. | 还有这桌子 |
| [08:50] | The desk is a replica of Uday Hussein’s desk. I saw a picture in Newsweek. | 桌子是仿制乌代侯赛因的 我在《新闻周刊》上看过 |
| [08:53] | Listen, I’m a very busy man, let’s get right down to business. | 听着，我很忙的，所以我就直说了 |
| [08:55] | Okay. Jo is coming later today. | －好 －乔一会过来 |
| [08:57] | I cannot have a subordinate trying to make me look stupid. | 我不能有让我出丑的下属 |
| [08:59] | Okay? I need you to promise me that you’ll be on your best behavior. | 好吧？我要你向我保证 你能尽力管好自己 |
| [09:02] | I promised other people that I’d be on my worst behavior. | 我向别的人保证了 我一定尽力不管好自己 |
| [09:06] | And I gave them my word, so… | 我一诺千金，所以… |
| [09:08] | Don’t make me fire you. | 别逼我开除你 |
| [09:09] | You can’t fire me. You’re acting manager, not office manager, | 你不能开除我，你只是代理经理 不是正式的 |
| [09:12] | so you have no firing powers. | 所以你没权开除别人 |
| [09:14] | Don’t make me pre-fire you. | 别让我预先开除你 |
| [09:16] | You wouldn’t dare. | 谅你也不敢 |
| [09:17] | Watch this. You’re pre-fired. | 看着，你被预先开除了 |
| [09:20] | And when I’m promoted, you’ll be full-fired. | 当我转正了 你就被真正开除了 |
| [09:24] | If you get promoted. | 如果你被提拔了 |
| [09:26] | And if you haven’t fallen in love with me by then. | 如果你那时还没爱上我的话 |
| [09:29] | What? | 什么？ |
| [09:30] | If I had thought that there was a real chance | 如果我觉得德怀特有机会 |
| [09:31] | that Dwight would be permanent manager, | 真的当上正式经理 |
| [09:33] | I would have pre-quit. | 我就会预先辞职 |
| [09:35] | And you might be saying to yourself, | 你或许会想“你想得太早了吧” |
| [09:36] | “Well, that’s pretty premature to think.” | |
| [09:37] | But I always say, “It’s better to be pre-pre-pre-prepared.” | 但我常说“要居安思思思危啊” |
| [09:43] | How you doing, Jordan? | －你好吗，乔丹？ |
| [09:44] | I’m good. | －我很好 |
| [09:45] | Everyone here thinks that you’re a joke. | 这儿的人都觉得你是个笑话 |
| [09:47] | They think that you were hired because of your good looks, | 他们说你能得到这工作 是因为你长得漂亮 |
| [09:49] | which won’t last long anyway. | 但那很快就会逝去 |
| [09:50] | As your pale skin and severe bone structure imply, | 从你苍白的皮肤和糟糕的骨骼可以看出 |
| [09:53] | you’ll age swiftly and poorly. | 你会老得很快很惨 |
| [09:54] | Why are you telling me this? | 你跟我说这些干嘛？ |
| [09:56] | Now I want you to find out what people are saying about me. | 我要你去打探别人都怎么说我的 |
| [09:59] | Things they don’t want me to know about. | 他们不想让我听到的那些 |
| [10:11] | It’s a holster. | 是个枪套 |
| [10:18] | Yep. Yep, yep, yep. | 好的，好的 |
| [10:23] | Looking good. | 不错 |
| [10:29] | What a day. | What a day. 今天真累啊 |
| [10:33] | Dwight, are you carrying a gun? | 德怀特，你这是挎着一把枪吗？ |
| [10:35] | The holster was a gift from my great-uncle, Honk. | 这皮套是我叔祖父洪克送我的 |
| [10:38] | I don’t know. I guess he’s saying that he’s proud of me. | 我不知道 或许他很为我骄傲吧 |
| [10:41] | Dwight, guns make me really uncomfortable. | 德怀特，枪让我周身不自在 |
| [10:43] | The gun is just an accessory to the holster, okay? | 那枪只是枪套上的配件而已，懂吗？ |
| [10:45] | I can’t walk around wearing an empty holster. | 我不能挎着个空枪套啊 |
| [10:48] | Why do you need to wear the holster at all? | 你为啥非得挎个枪套？ |
| [10:50] | Why do you need to keep wearing | 你为啥总穿显得胸大的衬衫啊？ |
| [10:51] | those booby shirts all the time? | |
| [10:52] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [10:53] | You could put your cell phone in it instead. | 你可以用来放手机啊 |
| [10:56] | Hello. | 看这 |
| [10:57] | You could put a banana in it. | 你能放根香蕉 |
| [10:59] | Why would I put a banana in my holster? | 为啥要放根香蕉进枪套里？ |
| [11:01] | In case you weren’t hungry now, but you got hungry later. | 就算现在不饿 也能防止你一会饿了 |
| [11:05] | Dwight, no gun, okay? Don’t make us call Jo. | 德怀特，不能带枪，好吗？ 别逼我们打给乔 |
| [11:08] | Okay, all right, fine. Everyone calm down. | 好吧，算了，大家冷静 |
| [11:11] | Someone, get me a banana. | 找人给我根香蕉 |
| [11:13] | Sorry I freaked you guys out. | 不好意思我吓着你们了 |
| [11:16] | Andy! | 安迪！ |
| [11:17] | Ow! God! | 我的天！ |
| [11:20] | It’s so loud! | 好大声啊！ |
| [11:24] | My God. | 天啊 |
| [11:26] | There is a hardwood floor underneath this carpeting. | 地毯下竟然是硬木地板 |
| [11:29] | Why would they do that? | 他们为什么这么做啊？ |
| [11:32] | There’s like this crazy ringing going on. I can’t… | 就好像有个疯狂的铃声一直在响 我不能… |
| [11:38] | I can’t find perfect C. | 我找不到C调了 |
| [11:40] | Okay, everyone make a list of what’s lost for the insurance. | 好了，大家把丢了的东西都列出来 去领保险吧 |
| [11:43] | I lost a necklace, a ring, a painting. | 我的项链、戒指和画不见了 |
| [11:45] | Hey, what happened? | 发生什么事了？ |
| [11:46] | Dwight went on a shooting spree | 德怀特持枪行凶 |
| [11:47] | and then he shot Andy in the head. | 把安迪爆头了 |
| [11:49] | No, no, no. All we know is that a gun fired. That’s all we know. | 不，不，不，我们只知道有枪声 我们只知道这些 |
| [11:52] | No, that’s not true. Actually, we heard a loud noise, | 不对，不是这样 事实上，我们只听到很大的响声 |
| [11:56] | later a hole was seen. No one saw the bullet leave the gun. | 然后，看到一个洞 没人看到有枪射击 |
| [12:03] | Something’s definitely wrong. | 肯定出问题了 |
| [12:05] | I’ll look on WebMD. What are your symptoms? | 我上网查下 你有什么症状？ |
| [12:07] | Everybody, Oscar found a reason to look on WebMD. | 各位，奥斯卡终于找到理由 上看医生网了 |
| [12:10] | Firewall. I can’t reach Jo. | －防火墙 －联系不上乔 |
| [12:12] | She must already be on the plane. | 她应该已经登机了 |
| [12:13] | Okay, why are you calling Jo? | 为啥要联系乔 |
| [12:14] | I think I should go to the hospital. | 我觉得我要去趟医院 |
| [12:16] | – I’ll go with you. – No! | －我陪你去 －不行！ |
| [12:18] | We really shouldn’t be without a receptionist. Now more than ever. | 我们不能没有前台 特别是现在 |
| [12:21] | I’ll take him. | 我陪他去 |
| [12:23] | Thank you, Darryl. | 谢谢，达瑞尔 |
| [12:30] | What’s wrong with you? | 你是哪不好 |
| [12:33] | It’s my ear. Yeah. | －耳朵 －好吧 |
| [12:34] | Okay, sorry. | 好的先生 |
| [12:37] | I should get the accident report binder. | 我要做份事故报告 |
| [12:40] | I’ve never used the gun violence forms before. | 以前还从没用过枪支事故表呢 |
| [12:43] | I’m gonna keep trying Jo. | 我继续联系乔 |
| [12:45] | Okay, everyone, conference room! Right now! | 行了，所有人，会议室！立刻去！ |
| [12:52] | Yee-haw! | |
| [12:54] | Woo-hoo! | |
| [12:57] | Howdy, partners. | 大家好，同事们 |
| [12:59] | It’s me, Gun Safety Dwight. | 是我 枪支安全专家德怀特 |
| [13:03] | And I’m the rootin’-est… | 而且我是最野性的…演不下去了 |
| [13:04] | I can’t do this. | |
| [13:06] | Look, obviously a gun went off under my watch | 很显然，手枪在我眼皮底下走火了 |
| [13:08] | and I’m launching a full investigation. | 我准备进行彻底的调查 |
| [13:10] | We all saw you do it. | 我们都看到你开枪了 |
| [13:12] | Really? You did? | 真的？你看到了？ |
| [13:13] | What hand was I holding the gun in? What did Andy’s tie look like? | 我哪只手拿的枪？ 安迪的领带啥款式？ |
| [13:16] | Navy blue, little red anchors. | 海军蓝，红色小船锚 |
| [13:18] | I have no way of knowing if that’s true. | 我可没办法确定那个的真假 |
| [13:19] | I am supposed to collect eyewitness accounts. | 我要统计下目击证人人数 |
| [13:22] | Who saw Dwight do this? | 谁看到德怀特开枪了？ |
| [13:24] | Okay, really? | －真的？ |
| [13:25] | Would you consider this a terrorist incident? | －你们觉得这是 |
| [13:27] | I felt terrorized. | －一次恐怖袭击吗？ －我觉得很恐怖 |
| [13:28] | Come on. | 拜托 |
| [13:29] | Oh! There’s a whole other terrorism booklet for that. | 噢，这还专门有本恐怖事件条例 |
| [13:31] | I just really, really think | 我真觉得 |
| [13:33] | that we should handle this internally. | 这事我们内部解决就行了 |
| [13:34] | Dwight, why is it on us to protect you? | 德怀特，我们为啥要维护你？ |
| [13:36] | Because you guys are my best friends. And I mean that. | 因为你们是我最好的朋友 我说真的 |
| [13:40] | Managing you for this last week | 上一周做你们的领导 |
| [13:42] | has been the greatest honor of my life. | 是我毕生最大的荣幸 |
| [13:44] | And if you ruin this, I will burn this office to the ground. | 如果被你们毁了 我就彻底烧了办公室 |
| [13:49] | And I mean that figuratively, not literally. | 我只是打比方，不是真的烧 |
| [13:51] | Because you guys are so, so important to me. | 因为你们对我如此重要 |
| [13:55] | I love you guys, | 我爱你们 |
| [13:57] | but don’t cross me, but you’re the best. | 但不要让我生气，你们最棒了 |
| [14:01] | Hey. | 嗨 |
| [14:03] | We’re back. | 我们回来了 |
| [14:04] | There he is, our hero. | 回来了，我们的英雄， |
| [14:06] | You look fantastic. How you doing? | 看起来不错，感觉如何？ |
| [14:08] | Here, tell us your war stories. | 说说你的战争故事 |
| [14:10] | Well, I burst my ear drum. | 我的鼓膜破了 |
| [14:13] | Doctor said it could take weeks to heal. | 医生说要几周才能痊愈 |
| [14:15] | Did they say what caused it? | 他们说了是什么导致的吗？ |
| [14:16] | ‘Cause I know you like putting Q-tips deep into your ear canal. | 因为你老是掏耳朵掏很深 |
| [14:19] | Yeah. How’s your hearing? | －是啊 －听力如何？ |
| [14:21] | Temporary deafness in one ear. It was both ears. | 一只耳朵暂时性失聪 开始是两只耳朵都聋了 |
| [14:24] | I couldn’t hear a thing Darryl was saying | 在候诊室时 |
| [14:25] | when we were in the waiting room. | 我听不到达瑞尔说话 |
| [14:28] | I was talking like this… | 我这样和他交流… |
| [14:32] | I don’t feel good about it, | 感觉不太好 |
| [14:33] | but he just kept calling himself | 但他一直在说自己是枪击受害者 |
| [14:35] | a gunshot victim, and it got to me. | 然后我烦了 |
| [14:38] | Dwight, I would like tomorrow off so that | 德怀特，我明天要请假 |
| [14:39] | I can go on my American Idol audition. | 参加美国偶像海选 |
| [14:41] | American Idol? What? No. | 美国偶像？什么？不行 |
| [14:43] | Okay, I guess I can just not go. | 好吧，我不去就行了吧 |
| [14:45] | Do you guys wanna hear my solo? | －你们想听听我独唱吗？ |
| [14:46] | No. | －不想 |
| [14:47] | ? Why did my temporary boss go on a shooting spree?? | 为啥我的临时老板，会持枪行凶， |
| [14:51] | Okay, fine, you can go on your singing audition. | 好了，行了，去海选吧 |
| [14:53] | Okay, well, then I want an extra vacation day. | 那我也要额外一天假 |
| [14:55] | Pet day. I want pet day back, no dogs. | 宠物日，我要求重设宠物日 不带狗 |
| [14:58] | Put back everything in the vending machine, except the fruit. | 把零食都放回自动售货机 除了水果 |
| [15:01] | I put everything back in the vending machine. | 我已经都放回去了 |
| [15:02] | Put everything back in the vending machine, except the fruit. | 把零食都放回自动售货机 除了水果 |
| [15:07] | You have to get rid of all your weapons. | 你得把武器都扔了 |
| [15:09] | All of them, including killer fish. | 全部，包括食人鱼 |
| [15:12] | Okay. | 好 |
| [15:16] | Is it my turn? Oof. I’m on the spot, I don’t know. | 轮到我了？这当口上不知道要什么呢 |
| [15:18] | Um. You know what? I think I’m good. | 算了，我觉得没什么 |
| [15:21] | Thank God. No. When Jo’s here, | －谢谢上帝 －等等，一会乔来了后 |
| [15:23] | can you work in “Shagadelic, baby” | 你能不能在一次交谈中 |
| [15:24] | at least three times in the conversation? Oh! | 至少说三次“，心驰神往，宝贝”？ |
| [15:26] | And when I cough, can you do jazz hands? | 我咳嗽的时候，你能不能抖爵士手？ |
| [15:29] | What’s jazz hands? | 爵士手是什么？ |
| [15:32] | Fine. | 好 |
| [15:47] | What the is that? | 那是尼玛啥玩意？ |
| [15:51] | Oh, my… | 我的天… |
| [15:54] | Hey, all! | 嗨，各位， |
| [15:56] | Cornelius, Bobo, have at it. | 康耐利尔斯，波波，上吧 |
| [15:59] | Nobody let my dogs hump each other. | 没人允许我的两只狗互相乱搞 |
| [16:00] | They don’t seem to know they’re brothers. | 它们好像不知道它们是兄弟 |
| [16:02] | Hello, Jo. Welcome. | 您好，乔，欢迎 |
| [16:04] | Shall we begin? | 我们可以开始了吗？ |
| [16:05] | Slow yourself down there. | 冷静点 |
| [16:06] | Just like a man, wants to jump right into it while I still got my socks on. | 典型男性，袜子还没脱 就想扑上来呢 |
| [16:10] | Jim Halpert, the only man to ever turn me down. | 杰姆哈尔佩特 唯一拒绝我的人 |
| [16:13] | I don’t know about that. Just wasn’t for me. | 好吧，我也不知道 这活儿不适合我 |
| [16:15] | But let me assure you, Dwight is firing on all cylinders, right? | 但我告诉你 德怀特现在火力十足，对不？ |
| [16:20] | Well, they’re some pretty big shoes to fill. | 嗯，是不容易做 |
| [16:22] | I was sorry to hear about Deangelo. | 迪安杰罗的事我很遗憾 |
| [16:24] | He was a good man. It was tragic. | 他人不错，真是悲剧 |
| [16:29] | Well, what can you do? Life. | 是啊，我们又能如何？这就是人生， |
| [16:33] | We have to clean this up, now. | 现在我们要打扫干净 |
| [16:35] | She had so much… | 她有好多… |
| [16:36] | Hey, guys. Hey. | －嗨，两位 －嗨 |
| [16:38] | Hope I’m not interrupting anything. | 希望我没打扰你们 |
| [16:39] | No. | 没有 |
| [16:42] | Hey, Andy, did you tell Erin about our conversation earlier | 嗨 安迪 你和艾琳说过我们之前讲的事了吗？ |
| [16:45] | when you said you would never want to date her again? | 你说你再也不会和她约会 |
| [16:51] | Uh… | |
| [16:53] | I just thought that it was so interesting that you promised that. | 我就是觉得你的保证 听上去真可笑 |
| [16:57] | Did I say that earlier? | 我有说过么？ |
| [17:00] | Yes, I did. | 是的，说过 |
| [17:03] | Because you, Gabe, were crying. | 因为盖比你哭着求我的… |
| [17:05] | No, I was not. | －不，我没有 |
| [17:07] | And sobbing uncontrollably. Yes. Uh-huh. | －痛哭流涕 |
| [17:09] | You were in hysterics and my maternal instincts kicked in. | 有哦，歇斯底里的 博取了我的母性本能 |
| [17:13] | Is it actually how I feel? | 那是我的真实感受么？ |
| [17:18] | Yes. | 是 |
| [17:21] | Or no. | 或否 |
| [17:22] | That is between me and my diary. | 只有我才知道了 |
| [17:34] | Oscar, can you print out last year’s sales statements? | 奥斯卡，请帮我打印去年的销售报告 |
| [17:36] | Sure. Hey, Dwight, | －没问题 －嗨，德怀特 |
| [17:38] | give me a back massage. No, Kevin. Come on. | －帮我揉下背 －不行，凯文，少来 |
| [17:40] | My back is sore, Dwight. Massage it. | 我背疼，德怀特，按摩下 |
| [17:42] | Kevin, not now. | 凯文，现在不行 |
| [17:44] | Hey, Jo… Okay, okay. | －嘿，乔… －好吧，好吧 |
| [17:47] | No, under the jacket. | 不对，进到衣服里面 |
| [17:50] | You’re kidding me. | 开玩笑吧 |
| [17:52] | Oh, God, what am I touching? It’s moist. | 天啊，这什么啊？潮死了 |
| [17:55] | I don’t feel anything. | 没什么感觉啊 |
| [17:57] | It’s wet. | 是湿的 |
| [17:58] | Push harder, Dwight. | －使劲，德怀特 |
| [17:59] | I can’t. | －不行 |
| [18:01] | I can’t push harder. | 不能再使劲了 |
| [18:02] | Go a little higher. | 高点 |
| [18:05] | There. | －这 |
| [18:06] | There you go. No, higher. | －对了，不，再高点 |
| [18:07] | I can’t… | 我不能… |
| [18:09] | Higher. | 高点 |
| [18:12] | Oh, my God. There we go. | －哦，我的神啊 －这就对了 |
| [18:13] | How’s that? Knead it. | －感觉怎样？ －使劲揉 |
| [18:15] | Knead it like a pizza. | －像揉面一样 |
| [18:16] | I’m kneading it. | －正揉着呢 |
| [18:17] | But don’t eat it. | 但别吃了它 |
| [18:19] | Okay. | 好 |
| [18:21] | Dwight, walk me out. | 德怀特，跟我出来 |
| [18:26] | Let’s talk soon. And stay on top of these people. | 待会再说，众人之上 |
| [18:29] | You’ve got to admit it, | 小有权利，感觉不错吧？ |
| [18:30] | it’s nice to have a little power, eh? How’s it feel? | 感觉怎样？ |
| [18:37] | Jo, | 乔… |
| [18:39] | I accidentally fired a gun in the office today. | 出于意外 我在办公室开了一枪 |
| [18:42] | What? I am telling you this | －什么？ －之所以告诉你 |
| [18:43] | because I care too much about this job | 是因为我太在乎这份工作 |
| [18:45] | to be blackmailed into doing it poorly. | 但被他们威胁，说要报告我搞砸了 |
| [18:48] | All I’ve ever wanted is to be manager here. | 在这里做经理是我的梦想 |
| [18:50] | And if you feel like you cannot promote me | 如果因为这次意外 |
| [18:52] | over this one accident, I understand. | 不能提升我，我理解 |
| [18:55] | But if you think that extortion is worse… | 但如果你认为威胁更可耻… |
| [18:57] | Shooting is worse. Are you kidding me? | 开枪更糟，开玩笑？ |
| [19:00] | It’s not even in the same… You shot a gun? What is wrong with you? | 完全不可比…你开枪了？ 你有问题吗？ |
| [19:04] | It was a Beaumont Adams, if that helps. | 它是博蒙特亚当斯枪 所以你理解的 |
| [19:06] | Beaumont Adams is a girl’s gun. | 博蒙特亚当斯枪是把女士枪 |
| [19:08] | That just makes it plain stupid. | 这听上去更蠢了 |
| [19:09] | I take full responsibility. | 我负全责 |
| [19:10] | Who else would be responsible? | 不然谁负责？ |
| [19:12] | Pam made me put a banana in my holster. | 潘让我放个香蕉在皮套里 |
| [19:15] | You shot a gun off. | －你开枪了－ |
| [19:16] | Okay, did I make a mistake? | －好吧，我错了吗？ |
| [19:18] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [19:19] | Do I regret the decision that I made? Yes. | 我后悔所做的决定了吗？是的 |
| [19:22] | Stop asking yourself easy questions so you can look like a genius. | －别再问自己那些小儿科问题了 显得你跟个天才一样 |
| [19:26] | Got it. | －了解 |
| [19:27] | I love you, Dwight. | －我爱你，德怀特 |
| [19:28] | But you don’t fit this job. | 但你不适合这份工作 |
| [19:32] | Jo, please. | 乔，求你了 |
| [19:33] | No. No, child. I will… | －不，孩子 －我会… |
| [19:36] | No. | 不 |
| [19:37] | It’s over. | 结束了 |
| [19:40] | Now I’ve got to find a replacement for my replacement. | 现在我要给替补经理 找个替补 |
| [19:53] | You three are my search committee. | 你们仨是我的调查委员会 |
| [19:56] | You’re in charge of finding me my next manager. | 你负责寻找新经理 |
| [19:58] | All right-y? Yeah. | －清楚了吗？ －是 |
| [20:01] | Till then, we need a new acting manager. | 那之前，我们需要个新代理经理 |
| [20:04] | Now who’s got the most experience in this office? | 现在谁最有经验？ |
| [20:08] | Uh, well… | |
| [20:09] | We probably don’t wanna go just on seniority. | 好吧，不能只谈经验 |
| [20:12] | Who is it? | 谁？ |
| [20:19] | Hey, Dwight? What’s up? | 嘿，德怀特，你好吗？ |
| [20:21] | Shut up. | －闭嘴 |
| [20:22] | Okay. Well… | －得得 |
| [20:24] | You do know that Jo was right to take the job away from you, right? | 你知道乔革了你的职 是很正确的，对吧？ |
| [20:27] | There’s no debating that. | 毫无疑问 |
| [20:30] | But I will say, in your one week, | 但我要说 在你管理的一周内 |
| [20:32] | every single one of the orders went out on time | 所有的订单都定时发出了 |
| [20:35] | and I think that is shagadelic, baby. | 那还是令人心驰神往的，宝贝 |
| [20:57] | Four, | 四 |
| [20:58] | one, | 一 |
| [20:59] | seven, | 七 |
| [21:00] | one. Another one? | －一 －又是一？ |
| [21:02] | Yes! | 对！七… |
| [21:03] | Seven… | |
| [21:04] | Could you turn the volume down on the beeping? | 你能把按键音调小点吗？ |
| [21:05] | Six, nine. | 六、九 |
| [21:07] | Shut up, Oscar. Eight. | 奥斯卡，闭嘴，八 |
| [21:08] | Nine first, put the nine. Nine. | －先摁九，九 －九 |
| [21:10] | Eight. Five. | 八，五 |
| [21:12] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [21:13] | Three, | 三 |
| [21:14] | zero, | 零 |
| [21:15] | zero, again. Zero. | 零，再加一个零 |
| [21:18] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [21:19] | Four. | 四 |
| [21:20] | Six. Nice. | －六 －好了 |
| [21:22] | Two, one. | －二、一 |
| [21:23] | I hit three, I hit three instead. | －我摁了三，不小心摁了三 |
| [21:24] | God! | 天啊！ |