| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Lance Armstrong Lance Armstrong, | |
| [00:02] | Martha Stewart, | 跟Martha Stewart |
| [00:03] | Tiger Woods, | 还有Tiger Woods |
| [00:05] | and yours truly, Zoey Johnson. | 以及在下 Zoey Johnson |
| [00:07] | What did all of us perfectly coiffed human beings have in common | 我们这些衣冠楚楚的人 |
| [00:11] | besides our unprecedented good looks and killer smiles? | 除了盛世美颜和迷死人的微笑以外 还有什么共同点呢 |
| [00:15] | We were all cheaters. | 我们都是骗子 |
| [00:18] | And as with most cheaters, | 和大多数骗子一样 |
| [00:20] | there comes a time when we all must face | 总有一天我们都要面对 |
| [00:22] | the consequences of our actions… | 行骗的后果 |
| [00:26] | And me? | 至于我 |
| [00:27] | Well, my consequences had yet to be revealed, | 我要面对的后果还有待揭示 |
| [00:30] | but in less than 24 hours, | 但在24小时之内 |
| [00:32] | I would learn what big red stamp | 我就会知道在化学期末考试上作弊 |
| [00:34] | would be slapped across my image | 会给我的个人形象声誉 |
| [00:36] | after cheating on my Chemistry final. | 盖上一个什么样的大红印章了 |
| [00:39] | I’m so sorry. | 真的很抱歉 |
| [00:40] | Would you mind grabbing it for me? | 你能帮我捡起来吗 |
| [00:47] | But you know what? It was gonna be okay. | 但你知道吗 我会没事的 |
| [00:50] | I mean, it’s not like I’m facing… | 我要面对的可不是 |
| [00:54] | Expulsion? Holy sh… | 开除 我嘞个 |
| [00:57] | No. | 不接 |
| [00:58] | And to make matters worse, | 更糟糕的是 |
| [00:59] | it was Parents’ Weekend. | 正赶上探亲周末 |
| [01:01] | And my dad, who was totally clueless, | 而且我那个被蒙在鼓里的老爸 |
| [01:04] | wouldn’t stop calling to plan our itinerary. | 会一直打我电话规划行程的 |
| [01:07] | No. | 不接 |
| [01:12] | I said no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! | 我说了 不接啊 |
| [01:50] | I mean, I don’t know what to say. I’m screwed. | 我不知道该说什么 我完了 |
| [01:51] | Like, I may as well pack my bags, | 也许我要打包好行李 |
| [01:53] | look for a single in Pacoima, | 在派柯玛找个单间 |
| [01:54] | and a full-time job at, like, Pinkberry-type screwed. | 再找个全职工作 比如”粉色浆果甜品店”那种烂工作 |
| [01:57] | Honey, you’re not that screwed. | 亲爱的 情况没那么糟啦 |
| [01:58] | She’s also not getting hired at Pinkberry. | 她也不会被”粉色浆果甜品店”录用 |
| [02:01] | Do you know how hard it is to get a job there? | 你知道去他们家工作有多难吗 |
| [02:03] | Our whole family tried to work there for three straight years. | 我们全家花了整整三年想去那里工作 |
| [02:05] | Bitch thinks she can just walk in | 这小妞以为她能就这么走进去 |
| [02:07] | and be a fro-yo ambassador. | 然后当冻酸奶大使 |
| [02:08] | – No. – What? | – 不可能 – 想啥呢 |
| [02:09] | Anyways, I meet with the board in less than 24 hours. | 不管怎样 还有不到24小时 我就要跟委员会会面了 |
| [02:13] | I mean, I could be gone. | 我可能会被开掉 |
| [02:14] | – Great. – Oh. | – 又来了 – 哦 |
| [02:16] | It’s your dad… Throwing up the “W.” | 是你老爸 分分钟要比出”W”手势 |
| [02:19] | No. | 不接 |
| [02:25] | If there’s anyone who deserves to be shushed, | 如果有人活该被静音的话 |
| [02:27] | it’s that man. | 就是这个男人了 |
| [02:28] | Cold. She just shushed her own father. | 无情 她刚刚把亲爹静音了 |
| [02:30] | He won’t stop harassing me about Parents’ Weekend. | 他会不停骚扰我 问探亲周末的事 |
| [02:33] | So shouldn’t you just answer and tell him not to come? | 那你应该接电话 告诉他不用来了啊 |
| [02:35] | Yes, Sky, I should. | 没错 Sky 应该这么做 |
| [02:37] | Tone. | 注意语气 |
| [02:39] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [02:39] | Um, that’s a good idea. | 呃 好主意 |
| [02:41] | I should, but I can’t, | 我应该这么做 但是我不能 |
| [02:43] | because he’s gonna hear my voice | 因为他会听到我的声音 |
| [02:44] | and immediately know that something’s wrong, | 然后立刻知道事情不对 |
| [02:46] | and then I will be extra screwed. | 然后我就更完蛋了 |
| [02:48] | I just have to pull myself together first. | 我得先打起精神来 |
| [02:50] | So, on that, I need a drink. | 所以 我需要喝一杯 |
| [02:52] | We all need drinks. | 我们都需要喝一杯 |
| [02:53] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [02:54] | You know, Zo, | 知道么 Zo |
| [02:54] | you actually might want to tell him not to come this weekend | 为了他的个人安全 |
| [02:57] | just for his own personal safety | 你可能真的得告诉他别来了 |
| [02:58] | because it’s about to go down. | 因为这周末会出大事 |
| [03:00] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
| [03:02] | All right, you guys know how I’ve been going | 好吧 你们几个都知道我一直 |
| [03:03] | to Professor Hewson for some guidance and mentoring? | 在Hewson教授那里寻求指引和辅导吧 |
| [03:06] | – Yeah. – Mm-hmm. | – 知道 – 嗯哼 |
| [03:07] | Okay, so, thanks to her, | 好吧 多亏了她 |
| [03:08] | I think I’m finally ready to tell my parents | 我觉得我终于准备好在这周末 |
| [03:11] | that I’m bi this weekend. | 告诉父母我是双性恋 |
| [03:13] | Oh, my goodness. | 天呐 |
| [03:14] | That… That’s huge. | 大 大新闻啊 |
| [03:15] | And they probably won’t take it that hard | 可能他们也不会有太大反应 |
| [03:17] | ’cause you’re only kinda gay. | 因为你就只有一点点同性恋而已 |
| [03:18] | Okay, not how that works. | 好吧 这事可不是这么算的 |
| [03:22] | We’re drinking? | 一起喝点不 |
| [03:22] | Yeah. Mm-hmm. | 好的 |
| [03:27] | 我说过了 告诉Zoey咱俩的事之前 我不会去的 | |
| [03:31] | Zoey正糟心呢 探亲周末之后吧 | |
| [03:33] | Thank you. | 谢啦 |
| [03:38] | To Nomi’s big moment… | 敬Nomi的重大时刻 |
| [03:40] | and to my last day at Cal U. | 也敬我在宾州加大的最后一天 |
| [03:43] | – What? – Oh, don’t say that. | – 什么 – 哦 别这么说 |
| [03:44] | Honestly, you are all the best friends | 说实话 你们都是我梦寐以求的 |
| [03:47] | I could’ve ever asked for. | 最好的朋友 |
| [03:49] | Like you. | 比如你 |
| [03:50] | I never thought that a woman with such a cynical attitude | 我从没想过你这样离经叛道的女人 |
| [03:55] | would be the Clyde to my Bonnie. | 会跟我组成”雌雄双煞” |
| [03:58] | Jazz and Sky, | Jazz跟Sky |
| [04:00] | y’all are my sisters, | 你俩是我的好姐妹 |
| [04:02] | and just like my real sister, | 就像我的亲姐妹一样 |
| [04:04] | you are cute and independent and, um… | 你们可爱又独立 还有点 呃 |
| [04:09] | really scary. | 渗人 |
| [04:11] | – Aww. – Aww. | – 嘤嘤 – 嘤嘤 |
| [04:13] | And you. | 还有你 |
| [04:14] | We have come so far. | 我们一起这么久 |
| [04:16] | You know, you’re my literal “Ride or die.” | 你懂的 你是我的生死至交 |
| [04:18] | I’d trust you with my life. | 我愿把生命都托付给你 |
| [04:22] | Bring it in. Come on. | 来抱抱 快来 |
| [04:24] | Bring it in. | 抱抱 |
| [04:26] | That’s so sweet. | 太感人了 |
| [04:29] | All right, enough with, like, the “Army Wives” monologue. | 好了 该结束这段”军嫂”独白了 |
| [04:31] | Let’s… | 咱们还是 |
| [04:31] | – Yeah. – Yeah. | – 没错 – 没错 |
| [04:35] | And, look, you’re not getting kicked out anyway. | 还有 你不会被开除的啦 |
| [04:37] | All you have to do is go in there | 你要做的就是走进去 |
| [04:38] | and answer every single question the same… | 对每个问题都做同样的回答 |
| [04:41] | “I do not recall.” | “我不记得了” |
| [04:42] | It worked for, um, Bill Clinton, Jeff Sessions… | Bill Clinton跟Jeff Sessions都是这么干的 |
| [04:45] | Justin Bieber 贾斯丁·比伯 美国流行歌手 Lil Wayne 美国知名说唱歌手 曾因非法持枪入狱 | |
| [04:45] | – Justin Bieber – Lil Wayne – Justin Bieber. – Lil Wayne. | |
| [04:46] | Those hot-ass Menendez brothers. | 还有性感到爆的Menendez家两兄弟 |
| [04:48] | – Hmm? – Hmm? | – 什么 – 什么 |
| [04:50] | – What? – Oh. | – 咋了 – 哦 |
| [04:51] | You know what? All right. | 你们知道吗 是这样 |
| [04:52] | I think I am ready to call my dad. | 我觉得我准备好给老爸打电话了 |
| [04:56] | – You got it. – Yeah, it’ll be fine. | – 你可以的 – 是的 没事的 |
| [04:57] | – Yeah, just breathe. – Hey, Dad. | – 没错 深呼吸一下 – 嘿 老爸 |
| [05:00] | – She’s screwed. – Mm-hmm. | – 她完了 – 没错 |
| [05:00] | 计划有变 我快内疚死了 我要尽快跟Zoey谈谈 | |
| [05:03] | No. No, no, no, no. | 不不不 没有 |
| [05:05] | Nothing is wrong, Dad. I promise. | 没有出问题 老爸 我保证 |
| [05:07] | It’s just that, | 就是那个 |
| [05:09] | I mean, Parents’ Weekend feels a bit triggering. | 探亲周末让我有点烦 |
| [05:11] | See? The way that you’re crying right now, | 明白了吧 你现在哭的这个样子 |
| [05:14] | that’s the way I’m crying… | 就是我内心哭泣的 |
| [05:17] | on the inside. | 样子 |
| [05:18] | So how about we just skip the weekend of heartache | 所以不如我们跳过这个伤心周末 |
| [05:21] | and remember each other how we are? | 然后回想记忆中彼此的模样 |
| [05:24] | You know what? You’ll get there. | 知道吗 你会挺过去的 |
| [05:25] | Love you, Dad. Bye. | 爱你哦 老爸 再见 |
| [05:28] | First I cheated on my Chem final, | 我先是在化学期末考试上作弊 |
| [05:31] | and now I’m lying to my emo-ass dad. | 现在又骗了超级情绪化的老爸 |
| [05:33] | Who am I? | 我是谁 |
| [05:37] | Who are you? | 你是谁 |
| [05:43] | Great. | 多棒 |
| [05:44] | Everybody’s out here enjoying Parents’ Weekend, | 所有人都在欢度探亲周末 |
| [05:46] | and we’re sitting here abandoned | 而我们坐在这里 |
| [05:47] | like a car on Cousin Speedy’s front lawn. | 像是被抛弃在Speedy表哥家前院的车一样 |
| [05:49] | Y-Your pops isn’t coming? | 你们老爹不来了吗 |
| [05:51] | Dude comes to everything. | 这大哥可是啥事都来啊 |
| [05:51] | Not since Jazz’s deep dive into Thot-land on the ‘gram | 自从Jazz潜心投入到instagram上的网红婊专区 他就没来过了 |
| [05:54] | and I’ve been disowned by association. | 我也被连带着断绝关系了 |
| [05:56] | Relax. | 放轻松啦 |
| [05:57] | Daddy and I will resolve our issues eventually. | 老爹跟我之间的问题迟早会解决的 |
| [05:59] | Eh, spoken like a true future stripper. | 啊 这话真像个未来脱衣舞女说的 |
| [06:02] | Guys, if it’s any consolation, | 老妹儿们 安慰地说一下 |
| [06:03] | Parents’ Weekend is totally overrated, okay? | 探亲周末完全被重视过度了 好吗 |
| [06:05] | My parents never come. | 我爸妈从没来过 |
| [06:06] | You think that’s because maybe they don’t love you? | 你不觉得是因为他们不爱你吗 |
| [06:08] | What? No. Correction. | 什么 才不是 纠正一下 |
| [06:09] | My parents adore me. | 我爸妈爱我的很 |
| [06:10] | It’s just, | 只是 |
| [06:11] | freshman year, they had this little Ensenada cruise | 大一那年 他们去恩森纳达做了个短途乘船游 |
| [06:13] | they booked the day I left home. | 是我离家那天预订好的 |
| [06:14] | Then sophomore year, the family dog got sick. | 然后大二那年 我家的狗病了 |
| [06:17] | You know Steve. Gotta take care of Steve. | 你认识Steve的 他们得照顾Steve |
| [06:18] | You know Steve. You’ve seen pictures. | Steve嘛 你看过照片的 |
| [06:20] | Um, and then this year, they, uh… | 呃 然后是今年 他们 呃 |
| [06:23] | you know… | 你知道的 |
| [06:26] | I got to make a quick call. | 我得去通个电话 |
| [06:27] | Okay. Do you. | 好吧 去吧 |
| [06:29] | Your parents abandon you, too? | 你爸妈也抛弃你了吗 |
| [06:31] | Nah. I didn’t even tell them about it. | 没有 我甚至没跟他们说这事 |
| [06:33] | Parents’ Weekend is big business for me. | 对我来说 探亲周末是赚钱的大好机会 |
| [06:35] | Lots of stressed-out students | 好多压力山大的学生 |
| [06:36] | and a lot of dads with erectile dysfunction. | 还有好多勃起无能的老爸 |
| [06:40] | Oh, my God! | 我的天呐 |
| [06:41] | What did Tyrese do now? | Tyrese这次又怎么了 |
| [06:42] | No! Somebody hacked my IG account! | 不是 有人黑了我的IG账号 |
| [06:56] | Before we begin, I feel it’s only right | 在开始之前 我觉得我应该 |
| [06:59] | that I recuse myself from this matter. | 退出本次审理 |
| [07:02] | The defendant and I are actually blood relatives | 被告方与我其实有血缘关系 |
| [07:05] | who share the same exact genetic makeup. | 我们的基因组成 是一模一样的 |
| [07:08] | And as such, I find it impossible for me | 因此 我无法在本次的审理中 |
| [07:11] | to remain impartial in this matter. | 保持完全中立的态度 |
| [07:14] | Really? | 认真的吗 |
| [07:15] | The one time this moron could actually help me, | 这个家伙 好不容易有一次帮我的机会 |
| [07:18] | and he’s bouncing. | 这就开溜了 |
| [07:26] | Apologies for my attire. | 我的穿着有失妥当 为此我深表歉意 |
| [07:28] | Me and some buddies took an impromptu trip | 昨天晚上 我和几个朋友一时兴起 |
| [07:30] | down to Lake Havasu last night, | 一起跑到哈瓦苏湖 |
| [07:32] | where my boy Deante took a lighter to my work pants. | 我的好兄弟Deante不小心点着了我的西装裤 |
| [07:37] | Now… | 现在 |
| [07:40] | if you’ll recuse me. | 请允许我先行告退 |
| [07:43] | You did this, Laura. | 瞧你干的好事 Laura |
| [07:45] | You voted him dean. | 是你投票把他选为教务委员的 |
| [07:46] | You know, actually, on second thought, | 你知道吗 其实仔细想想 |
| [07:48] | he should just leave and never, ever come back. | 他还是走了好 最好永远不要回来 |
| [07:52] | Ms. Johnson, | Johnson小姐 |
| [07:54] | you’re being accused of cheating on your final exam. | 你被指控在期末考试中作弊 |
| [07:57] | As I sat there watching the board, | 当我坐在委员会的面前 |
| [08:00] | all I could see were the faces… | 我的面前浮现出一幅幅熟悉的面孔 |
| [08:02] | the faces of those who I knew I’d disappoint | 我知道 如果我没有妥善处理好这件事的话 |
| [08:05] | if I couldn’t fix this. | 我会让他们失望的 |
| [08:06] | What the fuck she doing? | 她在搞什么鬼 |
| [08:12] | And the faces of the people I would miss | 我还看到了 如果我真的被开除了 |
| [08:14] | if I got expelled. | 心里最放不下的那些人 |
| [08:20] | And then, suddenly, I remembered Nomi’s advice. | 这时 突然间 我回想起了Nomi说的话 |
| [08:23] | Remember, | 记住 |
| [08:24] | “I do not recall.” | “我不记得了” |
| [08:26] | “I do not recall.” | “我不记得了” |
| [08:28] | “I do not recall.” | “我不记得了” |
| [08:32] | Is there anything you would like to say on your behalf? | 你还有什么想说的吗 |
| [08:37] | Ms. Johnson? | Johnson小姐 |
| [08:40] | Ms. Johnson? | Johnson小姐 |
| [08:41] | Uh… mm-hmm? | 呃 什么 |
| [08:44] | Is there anything you’d like to say on your behalf? | 你还有什么想说的吗 |
| [08:47] | I do not re… | 我不记得 |
| [08:51] | There isn’t. | 我没有什么要说 |
| [08:55] | I-I cheated. | 我 我作弊了 |
| [09:00] | So that afternoon, | 那个下午 |
| [09:01] | I discovered what my consequence was after all, | 我认识到我需要面对的 |
| [09:04] | and it wasn’t facing that ethics board. | 其实不是学纪委员会 |
| [09:07] | It was facing myself. | 而是我自己 |
| [09:09] | And the truth was | 而现实是 |
| [09:11] | I didn’t like the person I was becoming. | 我一点也不喜欢我现在的样子 |
| [09:13] | – Ms. Johnson? – Yeah? | – Johnson小姐 – 在 |
| [09:15] | – We’re ready for you. – Okay. | – 我们准备好了 – 好的 |
| [09:21] | Wow. This really is nice. | 哇 这地方真挺不错的 |
| [09:24] | Sure. It’s no Yale, | 是啊 虽然和耶鲁比不了 |
| [09:26] | but at least it’s just as expensive. | 但是学费是不相上下的 |
| [09:29] | Ooh, there are so many attractive young men here… | 噢 这儿的帅气小伙子可真不少呀 |
| [09:32] | Mom. | 妈 |
| [09:32] | Calm down, Sue. | 淡定一点 Sue |
| [09:33] | We’ve talked about this at counseling. | 我们不是在婚姻咨询的时候谈过了吗 |
| [09:35] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [09:36] | So… have you met anyone special? | 好了 你有没有遇见喜欢的人 |
| [09:41] | Actually, um, I have. | 说实话 我遇见了 |
| [09:44] | Please tell me he’s Jewish. | 请告诉我他是犹太人 |
| [09:54] | I don’t know what she is, Mom. | 我不知道她算不算犹太人 |
| [10:05] | I cannot believe this. | 我真不敢相信 |
| [10:06] | All my posts are gone. | 我所有的帖子都消失了 |
| [10:07] | I can’t even sign in. | 我连登陆都登陆不了 |
| [10:09] | Here, give me the phone. | 把手机给我 |
| [10:10] | I’ve dealt with this before. | 我已经也遇见过这种事情 |
| [10:10] | The haters are constantly hacking V-dig. | 这帮键盘侠一天到晚黑我威大帝 |
| [10:12] | What’s your password? | 你的密码是多少 |
| [10:13] | eatthebootylikegroceries_1. | “饥渴难耐舔臀狂魔_1” |
| [10:15] | What? | 什么玩意 |
| [10:16] | It gets weird when she’s on the phone with the bank | 每次她打电话给银行 银行都要再三确认她的密码 |
| [10:17] | and has to verify. | 就显得很诡异 |
| [10:18] | You know what else is weird now that I think of it? | 你知道吗 还有一件事情我越想越奇怪 |
| [10:20] | My parents didn’t even help me move into college. | 我上大学的第一天 我爸妈甚至没有帮我搬家 |
| [10:22] | Like, no care packages, no Costco runs, nothing… | 就是 没有爱心套装 没有带我去Costco百货 什么都没有 |
| [10:25] | You. | 各位 |
| [10:26] | It was probably his hatin’ ass who did it. | 估计就是这家伙干的 |
| [10:29] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
| [10:30] | Her Instagram page. | 她的Instagram主页 |
| [10:31] | Somebody hacked it. | 被什么人黑了 |
| [10:32] | I ain’t looked at your ratchet-ass page | 我从我们分手以来 就根本没去看过 |
| [10:34] | since we broke up. | 你那什么狗屁主页 |
| [10:35] | I don’t even follow you no more. | 我都已经把你取关了 |
| [10:38] | You unfollowed me? | 你把我取关了吗 |
| [10:39] | I understand how you feel | 我能够理解你的感受 |
| [10:40] | ’cause my parents unfollowed me in real life, so… | 因为我的亲生父母在现实生活中取关了我 |
| [10:43] | Damn it. | 我靠 |
| [10:45] | Wow. You have taken pettiness to a whole other level. | 哇 你简直又一次刷新了小心眼的上限 |
| [10:47] | I did not hack you, | 我没有黑你的主页 |
| [10:49] | but whoever did did you a favor | 不过 不管黑你账户的是谁 他都是在为你好 |
| [10:51] | by taking down them thirsty-ass posts. | 因为他把你那些欲求不满的帖子给删掉了 |
| [10:53] | You see right there? | 你看到了吗 |
| [10:53] | That’s the type of pettiness | 你每句话都透露着小气 |
| [10:54] | that really makes me think you did it. | 以至于让我觉得这就是你干的 |
| [10:56] | Yo, I said I didn’t do it. | 喂 我都说了不是我干的 |
| [10:58] | But now you’re making me feel like I should’ve. | 但你现在让我觉得 当初我就该把你黑了算了 |
| [10:59] | – Oh, really? – Yes. | – 哦 是么 – 是的 |
| [11:02] | – I did not hack your page. – Yes, you did. | – 我没有黑你的主页 – 就是你黑的 |
| [11:03] | Why you lying? | 你为什么要骗人 |
| [11:08] | – Hey. – Hey, quick question. | – 嗨 – 嗨 问你一个小问题 |
| [11:10] | Um, have your parents come to every Parents’ Weekend? | 你的父母以前参加过探亲周末吗 |
| [11:12] | It’s not like a-a thing, is it? | 这 这不算是什么很重要的是 对吧 |
| [11:14] | Yeah, my parents come to everything. | 有啊 我父母什么活动都要参加的 |
| [11:16] | Ugh, my mother brought me enough lechón | 呃 我妈给我带了很多烧乳猪肉 |
| [11:18] | to feed me for a month. | 我一个月都吃不完 |
| [11:20] | They love me. | 他们很爱我的 |
| [11:21] | Right, right. | 是啊 是啊 |
| [11:23] | Is this what you called me about? | 你就是为了这个给我打电话的吗 |
| [11:25] | No. Yeah, I was just calling to ask about Zoey. | 不 我就是想问问你 Zoey的事情 |
| [11:28] | How’d that go? Like, did you tell her yet? | 搞的怎么样了 你跟她说了吗 |
| [11:29] | Not yet. | 还没有 |
| [11:31] | But I will do it tonight. | 不过 我今晚一定会跟她说的 |
| [11:33] | Okay, well, let me know how that goes, | 好吧 到时候跟我讲一下 |
| [11:35] | and congratulations on your parents loving you, too. | 还有 恭喜你 有一对爱你的父母 |
| [11:38] | Uh, thank you? | 呃 谢谢 |
| [11:44] | Guess what. I did it, babe. | 你猜怎么着 我成功了 宝贝 |
| [11:46] | I beat the system. | 我打败了体系 |
| [11:47] | Nice. What happened? | 好啊 说来听听 |
| [11:48] | Life is good for both you and me. | 对于咱俩 事情开始往好的方向发展了 |
| [11:50] | Like, okay, sure, I’m on academic probation, | 就是 我收到了留校察看的警告 行呗 |
| [11:52] | and, you know, I will have to take Chemistry again, | 然后 你知道的 我得重修一次化学 |
| [11:55] | but you know what? | 可是你知道吗 |
| [11:56] | I am still a Cal U Titan. | 我还是宾州加大钛坦们的一员 |
| [11:57] | Congrats. Okay, Titan. | 恭喜你 好了 小钛坦 |
| [12:02] | That is probably Postmates | 应该是外卖到了 |
| [12:03] | because I ordered us some celebratory pho. | 我点了越南米线来庆祝一下 |
| [12:06] | Coming, coming, coming. | 来了 来了 |
| [12:07] | Hey. Hey, hey. | 嘿 嘿 |
| [12:11] | You want to tell me what the hell is going on? | 你要不要解释一下 你到底在搞什么鬼 |
| [12:14] | What the pho… | 搞什么米线 |
| [12:19] | Why after Charlie called me | Charlie给我打了个电话 |
| [12:21] | to tell me about his Lake Havasu trip | 他先是跟我讲了苏瓦哈湖的事情 |
| [12:22] | did he also tell me that you are on academic probation?! | 然后告诉我 你收到了学校留校察看的警告 到底怎么回事 |
| [12:26] | Wow. This how the young college kids living these days? | 哇 现在的大学生过的都这么滋润的吗 |
| [12:29] | – Damn. – What the hell? | – 哇靠 – 搞什么鬼 |
| [12:30] | Make me want to re-enroll, | 弄得我都想再上一次大学了 |
| [12:31] | pull a black Rodney Dangerfield. | 当一回黑人版的Rodney Dangerfield |
| [12:33] | Where do you keep your ice? | 你冰块放哪儿的 |
| [12:34] | Right down there, and, Dad, honestly everything is fine. | 在那边 爸 说真的 事情都已经解决了 |
| [12:37] | They put me on academic probation instead of expelling me | 他们本来是要开除我的 但是现在只是给我开了留校察看 |
| [12:39] | because I came clean and told them I was cheating on my Chem final… | 因为我开诚布公地承认了我在化学考试上作弊的事情 |
| [12:41] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:44] | Holy crap. | 我勒个去 |
| [12:45] | Did I just Fredo Corleone myself? | 我是Fredo Corleone上身了吗 |
| [12:47] | Zoey, who are you? Huh? | Zoey 你到底怎么了 |
| [12:50] | Oh, calm down, Dre. | 哦 冷静一点 Dre |
| [12:52] | I can remember a time when I got a call from Howard | 我还记得 我曾经接到霍华德大学的一通电话 |
| [12:54] | about a young, dumb freshman who had just got caught | 跟我说有个大一新生 想让一个白小子 |
| [12:57] | buying a term paper from some white kid. | 替他代写论文 结果傻乎乎地被抓个正着 |
| [12:59] | First off, Gary grew up in a black neighborhood, | 首先 Gary是在黑人社区里长大的 |
| [13:02] | and secondly, he seemed to have a grasp | 其次 他对哈莱姆文艺复兴运动 |
| [13:04] | of the Harlem Renaissance. | 有着独到的见解 |
| [13:06] | Whatever it was, cheating is a necessary life skill. | 不论如何 作弊是每个人都必不可缺的生活技能 |
| [13:08] | I mean, how do you think most successful people get ahead anyway? | 我是说 你以为那些成功人士是怎么成功的 |
| [13:11] | But if you’re gonna cheat, Zoey, | 不过 如果你下定决心要作弊 Zoey |
| [13:13] | don’t get caught. | 就不要被抓到 |
| [13:13] | That’s bush league. | 那就有点逊了 |
| [13:14] | – Pops. – Yeah? | – 老爹 – 怎么 |
| [13:15] | You’re not helping the situation. | 你这是在瞎添乱 |
| [13:17] | I’m sorry, Dre. | 不好意思 Dre |
| [13:17] | I just don’t think it’s as big a “Situation” as you do. | 我只是觉得这个情况没你想象中的那么”乱”而已 |
| [13:19] | Hey, baby. Are these the Postmates guys? | 嘿 宝贝 他们是送外卖的吗 |
| [13:27] | Oh, now we got a “Situation.” | 哦 现在情况有点”乱”起来了 |
| [13:38] | – Hey. – Hi. | – 你好呀 – 嗨 |
| [13:40] | – Guess what? – What? | – 你猜怎么着 – 怎么了 |
| [13:41] | Came out to my parents. | 对我爸妈出柜了 |
| [13:43] | Yep. Can you believe it? | 是呀 你能相信吗 |
| [13:44] | Wow. | 哇 |
| [13:45] | I mean, my dad thinks it’s just a phase. | 我的意思是 我爸说这只是阶段性的 |
| [13:47] | My mom, like, | 我妈 |
| [13:48] | keeps asking me if I’m gonna leave school to go to Broadway, | 一直在问我是不是要辍学去百老汇发展 |
| [13:50] | but whatever ’cause I feel, like, amazing. | 但无所谓 因为我感觉棒极了 |
| [13:53] | Thank you so much. | 太谢谢你了 |
| [13:55] | You have no reason to thank me. | 你不需要感谢我 |
| [13:56] | I didn’t even do it, by the way, because I felt like I had to. | 我出柜不是因为自己觉得有必要 |
| [14:00] | I did it because you made me realize that I wanted to. | 我出柜是因为 你让我意识到我想要这样做 |
| [14:03] | I mean, like, the events that you took me to, | 我是说 你带我去的那些活动 |
| [14:05] | all the talks that we had, | 我们聊的那些 |
| [14:07] | I mean, the connection between us. | 就是 我们之间的那种联系 |
| [14:14] | I’m happy for you, Nomi. | Nomi 我替你感到高兴 |
| [14:15] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [14:17] | Would you mind if I… if I gave you a call tomorrow? | 你介意我明天再联系你吗 |
| [14:19] | Yeah, totally. For sure. | 哦 当然啦 |
| [14:20] | Call me whenever you’re free. | 你有空随时打给我 |
| [14:26] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [14:28] | Sorry. Did, I, um… | 抱歉 我是 |
| [14:30] | Did I interrupt something? | 我是打扰到你了吗 |
| [14:34] | Yeah. | 好吧 |
| [14:36] | Hey, hey, Nomi. Nomi, come here. | 嘿 嘿 Nomi Nomi 过来 |
| [14:39] | No, you know what? It’s fine. | 你知道吗 没关系的 |
| [14:40] | I obviously misinterpreted your feelings, | 很明显是我误解了你对我的感觉 |
| [14:42] | seeing as there’s another woman in there | 有个女的在那儿 |
| [14:43] | with her legs kicked up, | 翘着腿 |
| [14:44] | drinking what appears to be a very light Pinot Noir. | 大概是在喝一杯非常轻口的黑皮诺酒 |
| [14:46] | You didn’t misinterpret anything. | 你没有理解错任何事 |
| [14:48] | I thought you understood the reality of this. | 你以为你明白现实情况 |
| [14:50] | I understand that we’re both adults. | 我只明白 我们都是成年人 |
| [14:53] | And we can do whatever we want. | 我们可以做我们想做的任何事 |
| [14:54] | Absolutely. In the real world, yes. | 当然 在现实生活 确实如此 |
| [14:57] | But our situation, it’s not realistic. | 但我们这种情况是不现实的 |
| [15:00] | People find out, I get fired, | 被别人知道了 我会被开除 |
| [15:01] | and how am I supposed to defend myself? | 然后我要怎么为自己辩解呢 |
| [15:06] | Uh, yeah, I don’t know. | 呃 好吧 我不知道 |
| [15:08] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [15:10] | Shit. | 该死 |
| [15:12] | Yeah, I guess you couldn’t. | 嗯 我想你是没办法 |
| [15:24] | Back in the day when I went to college, | 在我上大学的时候 |
| [15:25] | men were not allowed in ladies’ rooms past sundown. | 太阳落山以后男的就不能进姑娘们的房间了 |
| [15:29] | Winters were hard. | 真是难捱的”凛冬” |
| [15:30] | You didn’t go to college, Pops. | 老爹 你没上过大学 |
| [15:32] | That’s ’cause I was out there risking my life in ‘Nam. | 那是因为我当时在越南出生入死 |
| [15:34] | You also didn’t go to ‘Nam. | 你也没去过越南 |
| [15:35] | Man, fuck you. Listen here. | 我操 小子 你给我听着 |
| [15:37] | This young bohemian is up in here | 这个浪子就在这儿 |
| [15:38] | living his best life with my granddaughter. | 带着我的孙女醉生梦死 |
| [15:40] | Well, with all due respect, | 嗯 恕我直言 |
| [15:42] | I don’t live here. | 我不住这儿 |
| [15:43] | I have my own spot. | 我有自己的小窝 |
| [15:45] | He does. | 真的 |
| [15:46] | And when was the last time you slept at your “Spot”? | 那你上次在自己的”小窝”过夜是啥时候 |
| [15:48] | – Like, what was it, yesterday? – Pfft. Like, September. | – 好像就昨天吧 – 啧 大概在九月 |
| [15:50] | – Yesterday, yesterday. – Yesterday. | – 昨天 昨天 – 是昨天 |
| [15:54] | What’s that behind your ear, dawg? | 老兄 你耳朵后面是啥 |
| [15:55] | Is that a cigarette? | 是烟吗 |
| [15:57] | Oh, pfft, nah, it’s nothing. | 哦 不不 这啥也不是 |
| [15:59] | It’s actually, um, a-a-a hearing aid | 这实际上是 呃 助听器来着 |
| [16:03] | because Luca happens to be hearing-impaired. | Luca正巧有听力障碍 |
| [16:07] | See, they know about your hearing… | 瞧 他们知道你的听力 |
| [16:10] | Zoey Zoey! | |
| [16:14] | Come on. | 跟我来 |
| [16:20] | Look at me. | 看着我 |
| [16:23] | Who are you? | 你成什么人了 |
| [16:25] | – Dad, I’m so sorry about this whole… – Stop. | – 爸 关于所有这些 我真的很抱 – 住嘴 |
| [16:34] | Your mother and I have worked hard | 你妈妈和我千辛万苦 |
| [16:37] | to make sure you have everything that you need. | 就为了保证你能拥有你需要的一切 |
| [16:39] | – I know. – Hell, we’ve given you tons of stuff | – 我知道 – 见鬼 我们还给了你一大堆 |
| [16:41] | that you don’t need. | 你不需要的 |
| [16:43] | And looking around at all this, | 看看这一切 |
| [16:45] | I realize… | 我明白了 |
| [16:48] | that I’ve made your life too easy for you. | 我让你过得太轻松了 |
| [16:50] | What? I… I’m gonna get better and do better, Dad. | 什么 我 我以后会好好生活认真做事的 爸 |
| [16:54] | – You’ll see. Next semester, I’ll be… – No, I won’t. | – 下学期你就会看到了 我会 – 不 我不会 |
| [16:57] | I’ve seen enough, Zoey, | Zoey 我已经看的够多了 |
| [17:00] | and I’m done. | 我受够了 |
| [17:05] | W-What does that mean? | 这 这是什么意思 |
| [17:09] | It means that if you want to stay at Cal U, great. | 意思就是 如果你还想在宾州加大上学 很好 |
| [17:14] | But this lifestyle, I can’t bankroll anymore. | 但我不会再出钱支持你这种生活方式了 |
| [17:22] | I’m cutting you off, Zoey. | Zoey 我不会再给你钱了 |
| [17:34] | No, if you came here to accuse… | 不是吧 如果你是过来指责 |
| [17:36] | I-I know who hacked my account. | 我 我知道是谁黑了我的账号了 |
| [17:40] | If your nasty ass came to this page to stalk my daughter, | 如果你们这些小混混关注这个主页是为了偷窥我女儿 |
| [17:44] | well, you in the wrong damn place. | 你们就他妈的就来错地方了 |
| [17:47] | But if you came to inquire | 但如果你们想来了解 |
| [17:49] | about some delectable South Korean BBQ and collard greens, | 一些美味的韩式烤肉和羽衣甘蓝 |
| [17:54] | you exactly where you should be. | 那你可就来对地方了 |
| [17:58] | That was your pops? | 这是你老爸吗 |
| [17:59] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [18:00] | Dude is wild. | 哥们好狂野啊 |
| [18:02] | I like his style, though. | 不过我喜欢他的风格 |
| [18:06] | – So… – So… | – 所以 – 所以 |
| [18:07] | Uh, you. | 呃 你说 |
| [18:09] | Uh… | 呃 |
| [18:11] | I’m sorry for accusing you of hacking my page. | 抱歉我指责你黑了我的账号 |
| [18:15] | I guess I’m sorry, too. | 我想 我也有不对的地方 |
| [18:17] | Unfollowing you was kind of petty. | 取关你是挺小心眼的 |
| [18:19] | Speaking of which, if you unfollowed me, | 说起这个 如果你取关我了 |
| [18:22] | How did you know my “Thirsty-ass posts” were taken down? | 你怎么知道我的性感翘臀照没了 |
| [18:26] | A-A dude might’ve made a little burner account | 可能某 某人建了个小号 |
| [18:29] | – to check your page from time to time. – Oh. Okay. | – 时不时刷刷你的主页 – 哦 好吧 |
| [18:32] | But I still think your dad did you a favor. | 但我还是觉得你爸爸是在帮你 |
| [18:35] | Yo, you’re too smart and talented. | 喂 你这么聪明 有才华 |
| [18:38] | You’re doper than that. | 不需要那些你也很酷 |
| [18:40] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [18:41] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [18:44] | So, um… | 那就 呃 |
| [18:46] | see you around. | 再见 |
| [18:48] | Hope so. | 希望如此 |
| [18:49] | Yeah, see you. | 嗯 再见 |
| [19:00] | – Hey. – Uh, hey. | – 嘿 – 呃 嘿 |
| [19:01] | I got your text about academic probation. | 我收到你那条留校察看的消息了 |
| [19:03] | That’s great. | 这太棒了 |
| [19:04] | Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait. | 哦 等等等下 |
| [19:05] | Where are you going? | 你去哪儿啊 |
| [19:05] | I was hoping to talk to you. | 我想跟你谈谈 |
| [19:07] | I’m so sorry. I really can’t right now. | 抱歉 我现在真的没心情 |
| [19:09] | Today’s been, um, a really tough day, | 今天真的是 很艰难的一天 |
| [19:11] | so I’m just gonna… | 我就是想要 |
| [19:12] | You know, I’ll catch you. I’ll catch you. | 我会联系你的 我会联系你的 |
| [19:13] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [19:17] | I’m sleeping with Aaron. | 我在和Aaron上床 |
| [19:22] | So, I was only halfway through my sophomore year, | 所以 我大二才过了一半 |
| [19:25] | and it felt like my life was unraveling. | 就感觉我的整个人生都在崩塌 |
| [19:27] | My dad was disappointed in me, | 我爸对我失望了 |
| [19:29] | I barely managed to stay in school, | 好不容易才免遭退学 |
| [19:31] | and now after being cut off, | 但现在又被切断经济来源 |
| [19:33] | I had no idea how I was even going to pay for it. | 都不知道接下来要怎么交学费 |
| [19:37] | I had hit rock bottom. | 我的人生已经触底了 |
| [19:39] | – Hey. – Hi. | – 嘿 – 嗨 |
| [19:42] | You okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [19:46] | No, Aaron, I’m not, | 不 Aaron 我不好 |
| [19:47] | because I feel like I’ve just had this major bomb dropped on me. | 因为我觉得我就像被一颗大炮击中了 |
| [19:51] | Shit. | 见鬼 |
| [19:52] | Uh… I’m so sorry. | 呃 真抱歉 |
| [19:56] | I don’t know. I just feel like I’m on | 我不知道 我只是觉得我已经 |
| [19:58] | the verge of a nervous breakdown. | 在精神崩溃的边缘了 |
| [19:59] | I’ve never felt more blindsided. | 我从没有像这样迷茫失措过 |
| [20:02] | Look, Zoey, we didn’t mean to hurt you, okay? | 听着 Zoey 我们从来没想过要伤害你 好吗 |
| [20:05] | It’s just, Ana’s cool, right? | 就是 Ana是个很酷的人 对吧 |
| [20:08] | And then things just kind of… they happened. | 然后这些就自然而然 发生了 |
| [20:13] | Okay, what are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢 |
| [20:15] | What happened with you and Ana? | 你和Ana发生什么了 |
| [20:16] | W-Wait. Did Ana not talk to you? | 等 等等 Ana没跟你说吗 |
| [20:20] | Talk to me about what? | 跟我说什么 |
| [20:25] | Um… | 呃 |
| [20:27] | *To my women with the utmost respect, intellect* | *给我最尊敬最智慧的女孩们* |
| [20:30] | *We often forget and neglect* | *我们常常忘记并忽视 * |
| [20:32] | *intuition can see through illusive intent, listen to it* | *直觉可以看穿迷雾 只要聆听它* |
| [20:38] | Stop it. Stop it. And sit down. | 停 停 坐下 |
| [20:47] | So, um, how long you and my granddaughter been an item? | 所以 你和我孙女在一起多久了 |
| [20:51] | About six months. | 大概半年 |
| [20:54] | We basically started as friends. | 我们基本就是从朋友开始做起的 |
| [20:57] | Yeah, that’s usually how it starts… | 嗯 都是这样开始的 |
| [21:01] | Mm-hmm. | 嗯哼 |
| [21:02] | No. I won’t. | 不 我不会 |
| [21:06] | Um, oh, been meaning to tell you, I… | 哦 我一直想跟你说 我 |
| [21:09] | I like this linen joint you got going. | 我喜欢你这件亚麻拼色衣服 |
| [21:11] | It’s fire. | 很棒 |
| [21:12] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [21:14] | No doubt. | 真心的 |
| [21:16] | I’m not mad at that kimono. | 我也不讨厌这件和服 |
| [21:20] | Do you wanna try it on? | 你想穿上试试吗 |
| [21:25] | Is that… | 是不是 |
| [21:25] | Okay, sure. Why not? | 行啊 当然 为啥不呢 |
| [21:36] | Ooh. | 哦 |
| [21:39] | Looks fire. | 看上去很棒 |
| [21:42] | You know you’re not getting this back, right? | 你知道你这件衣服就归我了吧 |
| [21:44] | Hmm? | 啊 |
| [21:48] | What size shoe do you wear? | 你穿多大码的鞋 |