时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
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[00:00] | S01xE32 – “Fusion Cuisine” | |
[00:01] | sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~ | |
[00:03] | Doctor, it’s my son. There was an accident. I … | |
[00:07] | – I know what we have to do. Nurse! – Yes, doctor? | |
[00:10] | Prep the patient for emergency surgery. We’re gonna go… | |
[00:14] | – under the knife. – Ugh! This show is so good! | |
[00:19] | Thank you so much for letting me watch “Under the knife” here, Steven. | |
[00:24] | – How come you can’t watch the show at home? – My mom says this doesn’t | |
[00:28] | represent a real emergency room. | |
[00:30] | How did his legs… get into… his brain?! | |
[00:33] | She just doesn’t understand that it’s satire. | |
[00:36] | – Is that your phone? – It’s probably my mom. Called it. | |
[00:43] | Hi, mother. It’s Connie. Mm-hmm. Yes, ma’am. | |
[00:47] | I’m at the home of Steven Universe. Mm-hmm. | |
[00:51] | Yes, ma’am. We’re … we’re just hanging out. | |
[00:54] | Oh. Steven’s parents. They’re, uh … | |
[00:58] | they’re in the other room. You would like to talk to | |
[01:01] | Steven’s mom? Oh, okay. Hold on a moment. | |
[01:03] | That’s gonna be pretty hard since my mom | |
[01:06] | gave up her physical form to make me. | |
[01:08] | I can’t tell her that. | |
[01:10] | Garnet, quick … you have to pretend | |
[01:12] | – to be my mom to Connie’s mom. – Hello. | |
[01:16] | This… is mom Universe. | |
[01:19] | Yes. The children are playing swords. | |
[01:22] | Sorry … playing with swords. They’re bleeding. | |
[01:26] | Oh, no. They are dead. | |
[01:28] | Don’t call again. | |
[01:29] | Sorry. I panicked. | |
[01:34] | What do you mean, your mom won’t let you come over? | |
[01:37] | It’s the midseason pre-finale of “Under the knife”! | |
[01:39] | Steven, my parents are really upset. | |
[01:41] | They say the will not let me see you again until they meet | |
[01:45] | – both of your parents in person. – But that’s impossible! | |
[01:48] | I know, but they want both of our families to go out | |
[01:52] | – together for dinner. – It sounds so… adult. | |
[01:55] | I wonder if Fish Stew pizza will take reservations for … | |
[01:59] | – Pearl, Garnet, dad, Amethyst … all eight of us. – You can’t bring everybody! | |
[02:03] | – Why not? – Because … because… I told my parents | |
[02:08] | – you have a nuclear family. – Nuclear?! Sure, they make stuff blow up | |
[02:12] | sometimes, but that’s because they’re magic, not radioactive! | |
[02:16] | Steven, “nuclear” means two adults | |
[02:18] | and their child and/or children. My parents think you live with | |
[02:23] | – your mother and father. – But none of that is true. | |
[02:27] | You never told your mom and dad about the Crystal Gems? | |
[02:31] | No, and it has to stay that way. | |
[02:32] | If they find out I lied to them, they’ll never let me | |
[02:36] | hang out with you again. | |
[02:40] | How am I supposed to choose just one of you to bring to dinner? | |
[02:44] | – You’re all so… cool! – Why does it have to be dinner? | |
[02:47] | We get all the energy we need from our gems, | |
[02:50] | and while our human constructs are capable of eating, | |
[02:53] | – I find it very uncomfortable. – I love eating! | |
[02:57] | Feels weird. | |
[03:01] | Okay, okay, okay. Let’s focus. | |
[03:04] | Which of you would make the best and most nuclear mom? | |
[03:08] | Garnet, you keep us safe by scaring off the bad guys, | |
[03:11] | just like a mom would. | |
[03:13] | But you’re not the best conversationalist. | |
[03:17] | Amethyst, you would be a superfun mom! | |
[03:21] | – Can moms be gross? – Why not? | |
[03:25] | Pearl! You’re always worried about me, you | |
[03:28] | teach me lots of stuff, you’re approachable, and you’re, | |
[03:31] | – like, totally not gross. – Uh… | |
[03:36] | But you can’t eat dinner. | |
[03:38] | Man, why did Connie have to say I have one | |
[03:42] | – mother instead of zero… or three? – We’ll figure this thing out. | |
[03:46] | We just have to put our heads together. | |
[03:48] | Why didn’t I think of this before? | |
[03:51] | It’s so obvious! You can all come to dinner … | |
[03:54] | – all three of you, fused into one! – What?! | |
[03:58] | – Whoa! – What? | |
[04:00] | Steven, you know we only fuse in deadly situations! | |
[04:04] | It’d be like … like I’m actually bringing my whole family! | |
[04:07] | – That’s insane. – Fusion is serious magic, | |
[04:11] | – not a trick for dinner parties. – I know. | |
[04:14] | Then I guess this is it. I’ll never get to see Connie again. | |
[04:19] | Oh, Connie! I’ll never know a star that shines as bright as you. | |
[04:24] | We have no choice. | |
[04:31] | We’ve been waiting for nearly 20 minutes. | |
[04:44] | – Uh… oh. – Hi, Connie! | |
[04:47] | Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Maheswaran! | |
[04:51] | – Thanks… honeybuns. – You’re welcome… Greg. | |
[04:56] | I’m Greg Universe. | |
[04:57] | And this massive drink of water is my wife, Alexandrite. | |
[05:03] | Hi-i-i-i-i-i. | |
[05:11] | I hope this place has unlimited breadsticks. | |
[05:14] | Don’t be rude. | |
[05:17] | Bleh. | |
[05:18] | Isn’t my wife a riot? | |
[05:23] | So, tell me … how did you two meet? | |
[05:26] | – Huh? How did we meet? Well, we, um … – They met on a roller coaster! | |
[05:34] | – She was too tall to ride! – Uh… | |
[05:38] | I remember it like it was yesterday. Right, honey? | |
[05:47] | – Eh… sorry. – Have some more breadsticks… dear. | |
[05:53] | What is it that you two do for a living, Mr. and Mrs. Universe? | |
[05:59] | Well, you see, I own a local car wash, and my sweet, dear wife here … | |
[06:03] | My mom works on an apple farm! | |
[06:09] | – What did we say about heads on the table? – She uses all her arms | |
[06:14] | to pick apples out of huge trees. | |
[06:17] | Well, you know what they say … an apple a day keeps the doctor away. | |
[06:21] | – Yes. I hate doctors. – Well, I’m a doctor. | |
[06:24] | Steven, help me find the restroom! | |
[06:27] | Things are going pretty good so far, huh? | |
[06:30] | Steven, are you kidding me?! | |
[06:32] | What is this thing that you brought to dinner?! | |
[06:35] | It … it’s my family. It’s all the gems | |
[06:38] | fused together into a six-armed, giant woman. | |
[06:42] | – Why couldn’t you just bring one of the gems? – ‘Cause that would | |
[06:46] | – be a lie. Your glasses. – What about them? | |
[06:51] | I healed your eyes. You don’t even need to wear those anymore. | |
[06:55] | – What are you talking about? – All that stuff you told your parents | |
[06:59] | – about my family … you’re just ashamed of me! – Oh, whatever, Steven. | |
[07:03] | Let’s just focus on getting through the evening. | |
[07:07] | So, Steven was telling me that on his mom’s apple | |
[07:11] | farm, they’re bioengineering a gala-fuji hybrid. | |
[07:15] | – Definitely true. – Isn’t that right, Mrs. Universe? | |
[07:18] | Ugh! What are you doing? | |
[07:23] | – I’m hungry! – I don’t think so. Cut it out, you two. | |
[07:33] | Stop! You don’t have to eat it! | |
[07:42] | Steven! Ohh. Thank you so much. | |
[07:45] | You don’t know how horrified | |
[07:47] | it was when that dreck nearly fell into our mouths. | |
[07:51] | Eating food is so disgusting! You chew it into | |
[07:54] | nasty mush, swallow that goop, and it comes | |
[07:58] | out of you? What a completely horrid experience! | |
[08:01] | Uh, speak for yourself. Ha! I love it when mush | |
[08:04] | – passes through my body. – It doesn’t matter what you two think. | |
[08:08] | We’re doing this for Steven! | |
[08:11] | What is going on here? | |
[08:13] | – Who are they?! – I knew I should have trusted | |
[08:15] | my bad feelings about this new friend of yours, but | |
[08:19] | I never thought I wouldn’t be able to trust my own daughter. | |
[08:23] | Connie! | |
[08:25] | Connie. | |
[08:27] | Steven, I’m so sorry. It’s not that I’m ashamed of you. | |
[08:32] | I was so worried that my parents would think all this magic stuff is weird. | |
[08:36] | What if they don’t let me hang out with you anymore? | |
[08:39] | I-I’m sorry I messed everything up. | |
[08:41] | I wish there was a way we could just hang out without | |
[08:45] | – having to worry about stuff. – Steven, let’s just hop on a bus | |
[08:48] | – and live somewhere else without telling anyone! – That’s a great idea! | |
[08:58] | – Where’s this bus taking us? – Wherever we end up. | |
[09:02] | We’ll find a way to survive. I’ve been reading about sustainable living. | |
[09:05] | – Maybe it’ll take us to a real apple farm! – What’s up with you | |
[09:09] | – and apples today? – Huh? | |
[09:16] | Steve-e-e-n! | |
[09:20] | You two, come out of that bus, this instant! | |
[09:24] | Okay! J-just put the bus down first. | |
[09:29] | I don’t even know where to begin | |
[09:31] | – with you, young la… – What were you thinking, | |
[09:33] | running off with Connie like that? You could have gotten | |
[09:36] | – yourselves hurt! – Or gotten mangled in traffic. | |
[09:38] | – Or thrown in prison. – Steven, you are in very big trouble, | |
[09:42] | – and we have no choice but to punish you. – But… | |
[09:45] | – No dinner for 1,000 years. – 1,000? | |
[09:50] | We would never starve you, | |
[09:52] | but you will lose your TV privileges… for 1,000 years. | |
[09:56] | No! The midseason pre-finale of “Under the knife”! | |
[10:01] | How can you do this to me?! | |
[10:04] | Because we love you, Steven. | |
[10:07] | Wow. That was a masterful use of the “because we love you” shutdown. | |
[10:12] | I’m quite partial to the “it’s for your own good” myself. | |
[10:15] | That “1,000 years of no dinner” bit… was pretty funny. | |
[10:20] | All comedy is derived from fear. | |
[10:24] | – You are too much. – I did not know what to make | |
[10:27] | of the two of … excuse me … four of you, | |
[10:30] | but I see that you are responsible parents … | |
[10:33] | uh, caregivers? Guardians. | |
[10:35] | So, I can still hang out with Steven? | |
[10:39] | – Sure. – All right! | |
[10:44] | Uh… | |
[10:47] | sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~ |