| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Parkour! | 跑酷！ |
| [00:09] | Michael. Parkour! Parkour! | –迈克尔 –跑酷！跑酷！ |
| [00:12] | Extreme. – Parkour! | –极限运动 –跑酷！ |
| [00:14] | This is parkour. Internet sensation of 2004, | 这就是跑酷，2004年网络热门 |
| [00:18] | and it was in one of the Bond films. It’s pretty impressive. | 007系列电影中也出现过，很厉害 |
| [00:21] | The goal is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible. | 要在到达目的地之前 尽可能作出各种有创意的动作 |
| [00:24] | So technically they are doing parkour, | 所以理论上来说这也算跑酷 |
| [00:26] | as long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital. | 不过这更像是精神错乱 而且最终可能会受伤住院 |
| [00:32] | Parkour! | 跑酷！ |
| [00:38] | Yeah, parkour! | 跑酷！ |
| [00:40] | Andy, leap frog. Go, go! | –安迪，来跳个马 –好嘞！ |
| [00:42] | Do me! Do me! Yeah. Okay. Yeah. | –换我！ –很好 |
| [00:44] | Parkour! Parkour! | 跑酷！ |
| [00:45] | Get off! Get off! Okay. | –下来！ –好吧 |
| [00:47] | Parkour! | 跑酷！ |
| [00:51] | Parkour! Jump over the camera. | –跑酷！ –从摄像机上跳过去 |
| [00:53] | Jump over the camera. | 从摄像机上跳过去 |
| [00:56] | Okay, we all go together, or we go one at a time. | 我们是一起跳还是一个一个跳 |
| [00:58] | Here it is. Here it is. Truck to refrigerators to dumpster, | 这样跳，卡车到冰箱到垃圾箱 |
| [01:03] | 360 spin onto the palettes, back flip, gainer into the trashcan. | 再做个360度旋转跳到货盘上 直体后空翻跳到垃圾桶 |
| [01:06] | Yeah, gainer! Yeah, yeah, yeah! | –对，直体后空翻 –很好！ |
| [01:09] | Parkour, parkour! | Parkour, parkour! –纯跑酷！ –纯跑酷！ |
| [01:11] | I’m right behind you, Andy. Come on! | 你跳完我跳，安迪，加油！ |
| [01:12] | Let’s do it! Yeah! | –跳吧！ –耶！ |
| [01:18] | Parkour. | 跑酷 斯克兰顿 欢迎您 敦德 米福林 接待员 办公室 |
| [01:43] | Good. | 好 |
| [01:46] | Excellent. | 很好 |
| [01:49] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [01:50] | Here you go. Is there anything else I can do? | 给，我还有什么要做的吗？ |
| [02:00] | Yes. | 当然 |
| [02:03] | See those files behind Kevin’s desk? Mmm-hmm. | 看到凯文桌子后面的那些文件吗？ |
| [02:05] | Go put them all in random order. | –去把它们顺序打乱 |
| [02:07] | Okay. | –好的 |
| [02:08] | Then come back here for your next assignment concerning their order. | 然后过来领取下一个关于它们顺序的任务 |
| [02:12] | This is the last day of our summer interns. It’s been nice. | 今天是我们暑期实习生的最后一天，挺好的 |
| [02:16] | We haven’t had interns in a while. | 我们很久没有招实习生了 |
| [02:18] | Ever since Michael’s Monica Lewinsky incident. | 自从迈克尔跟实习生乱搞之后 |
| [02:21] | He didn’t do anything sexual. | 他们并没有发生什么性关系 |
| [02:23] | He just made far, far too many Monica Lewinsky jokes. | 他只是开了太多的黄色玩笑 |
| [02:26] | It was just easier for corporate to shut down the program. | 这正好让公司有借口取消这个项目 |
| [02:32] | Think she did him? I bet there’s something there. | –你觉得他俩上床了没？ –我敢说他俩肯定有问题 |
| [02:34] | I was with them in the kitchen yesterday, | 我昨天跟他们一起在厨房里 |
| [02:35] | and they were all too happy to be cleaning the freezer. | 他们清理冰箱的时候显得过于开心了 |
| [02:38] | If they get married before I do, I’m going to kill myself. | 如果他俩比我先结婚，我就自杀 |
| [02:41] | Who’s getting married? Nobody. | –谁要结婚？ |
| [02:43] | If somebody doesn’t tell me, I’m gonna start screaming. | –没人 没人说的话，我就要大吼了 |
| [02:45] | It’s Eric and Megan. Oh! | 是埃里克和梅根 |
| [02:47] | Hey, I hired them. | 他们是我聘请的 |
| [02:49] | Matchmaker. | 我是大媒人 |
| [02:51] | This place is like Spaniard fly. | 这地方真是充满了催情气息 |
| [02:52] | They’re not getting married. It’s just talk. | 他们不是要结婚，我们只是闲聊 |
| [02:55] | Did everybody know about this but me? | 是不是除了我大家都知道了？ |
| [02:56] | There’s nothing to know. It’s just gossip. | 什么都没有，只是八卦而已 |
| [03:01] | Okay. Okay. | 好吧 |
| [03:03] | We haven’t told anyone that I’m pregnant. | 我们还没告诉别人我怀孕了 |
| [03:05] | What with her being unmarried, knocked up by some guy. | 尤其是她这种未婚先孕的 |
| [03:08] | The yakety-yaks in this office would have a field day. | 可够办公室里的八卦族们津津乐道一阵子了 |
| [03:10] | Yeah, and we don’t want them at the wedding thinking | 我们不想让他们在参加婚礼的时候 |
| [03:12] | Jim’s being marched down the aisle by my dad with a shotgun. | 认为杰姆是被逼奉子成婚的 |
| [03:17] | Wait, there’s not going to be a shotgun? | –等下，也就是说没人逼我了？ |
| [03:18] | Nope. | –没有 |
| [03:19] | No shotgun? Because that changes everything. | 没人逼？那我可改变主意了 |
| [03:22] | Can’t back out now, Halpert. | 现在不能反悔了，哈尔佩特 |
| [03:24] | What are you going to do about it? There’s no shotgun, so, | 你又能怎样？反正也没人逼我… |
| [03:29] | free at last, free at last. | 自由啦 |
| [03:32] | No, keep it up. | 没关系，继续 |
| [03:35] | You’ll never guess what I know. | –你可猜不到我知道什么 |
| [03:36] | Okay. Let me finish this thought. | –让我干完手上的活 |
| [03:38] | Eric likes Megan. | 埃里克喜欢梅根 |
| [03:41] | He most definitely does. | 这点毫无疑问 |
| [03:42] | He’s been asking her out repeatedly for weeks. | 他都约了她好几周了 |
| [03:44] | She finally said yes. They went out on a group date the other night. | 她终于同意了 然后他们一起在那天晚上参加了一个集体约会 |
| [03:47] | Apparently it went very well. | 听说进展还不错 |
| [03:50] | How do you know this? People tell me things. | –你怎么知道？ –别人跟我说的 |
| [03:52] | I guess I have a face you can trust. | 我想是因为我有一张让人信任的脸吧 |
| [03:54] | I think it’s because of my low cheek bones. | 估计是我的颧骨比较低 |
| [03:57] | And boom. Okay, what is it? What can’t I guess? | 好了，做完了，说吧 有什么事情我猜不到？ |
| [04:01] | I hate, hate, hate being left out. | 我非常讨厌被孤立 |
| [04:04] | Whether it’s not being picked for a team or being picked for a team | 无论是没被选入运动队 或者是被选入运动队之后 |
| [04:09] | and then showing up and realizing that the team doesn’t exist, | 发现这个队其实根本不存在 |
| [04:13] | or that the sport doesn’t exist. | 或者这项运动根本就不存在 |
| [04:16] | I should have known. Poopball? | 我早该猜到的，怎么会有便便球这种项目？ |
| [04:19] | Oh, man, I know how you feel. Third wheel. | 我知道你的感受，电灯泡 |
| [04:22] | I have been the third wheel so many times in my life. | 我这一辈子做过太多次电灯泡了 |
| [04:26] | My mom told me something once that made me feel a lot better. | 我妈有次对我说了一番话 让我感觉好多了 |
| [04:28] | She said, “The third wheel is what makes it a tricycle.” | 她说：“电灯泡能给这个世界带来光明。” |
| [04:33] | What are you talking about? | 你说啥呢？ |
| [04:34] | I am talking about your group date with Megan and Eric. | 我是说你和梅根还有埃里克的集体约会 |
| [04:36] | At Tinks? Yes. | –在叮当餐厅那次？ –是的 |
| [04:37] | How’d you know about that? Well… | –你怎么知道的？ –这个嘛… |
| [04:39] | Did Stanley tell you? | 是斯坦利告诉你的？ |
| [04:41] | Stanley was on your group date? | 斯坦利也参加你们的集体约会了？ |
| [04:43] | No. Stanley was with his wife. | 没，他跟他老婆在一起 |
| [04:45] | I waved at him but he didn’t wave back. | 我朝他招手，但是他没搭理我 |
| [04:50] | Does anybody else know about this? | –这事还有谁知道吗？ |
| [04:51] | No. | –没有 |
| [04:55] | There he goes. | There he goes. 他走了 |
| [04:59] | So, what is the scuttlebutt? Anybody hear anything? | 最近大家有没有听说什么八卦新闻啊？ |
| [05:05] | Nothing? I got a little something-something. | 没有？我可是有点小爆料 |
| [05:08] | I don’t know if I should say. | 不知道该不该说 |
| [05:10] | So just keep it to yourself, then. | 那就别说了 |
| [05:11] | Stanley is having a midlife crisis. | 斯坦利现在在经历中年危机 |
| [05:13] | Stanley is way past the middle of his life, | 斯坦利早就过了中年阶段了 |
| [05:15] | especially considering his height-to-weight ratio. | 尤其他的体型就更不像了 |
| [05:17] | Well, apparently, he and his wife | 听说，他跟他的老婆 |
| [05:20] | were out dancing at a club for young people. | 去年轻人去的俱乐部跳舞 |
| [05:22] | Teri’s out of town, Michael. | 特莉出远门了，迈克尔 |
| [05:24] | Who? Stanley’s wife, Teri. | –谁？ –特莉，斯坦利的老婆 |
| [05:26] | She’s at an interior decorating expo in Philly. | 她去费城参加室内装潢展览了 |
| [05:29] | And Stanley hates crowds, kids and music. I think you should check your facts. | 而且斯坦利不喜欢拥挤、年轻人和音乐 你该去核对你的消息来源 |
| [05:42] | You stupid son of a bitch. You set me up. | 你这个混球蠢货，居然陷害我 |
| [05:45] | What are you talking about? | –你说什么呢？ |
| [05:46] | Stanley’s wife is out of town. | –斯坦利的老婆根本不在城里 |
| [05:48] | He was with somebody. | –他带了一个人 |
| [05:49] | He was definitely with someone. | –肯定带了谁 |
| [05:50] | Oh! Was he? Well, who? His sister? | 是吗？是谁？他的妹妹？ |
| [05:54] | I don’t get it! | 我不明白！ |
| [05:56] | If that was his sister, then what they were doing was totally illegal. | 如果她是他妹妹的话 那他们那么做绝对是犯法的 |
| [06:00] | Drugs? | 吸毒了？ |
| [06:02] | Making out. | 拥吻呢 |
| [06:09] | Okay. | 好吧… |
| [06:15] | Okay. No, it’s okay. | 没事了 |
| [06:17] | Never mind. Carry on. | 没事，你们继续 |
| [06:19] | Stanley is having an affair. | 斯坦利有外遇了 |
| [06:21] | What? I know. | –什么？ –是啊 |
| [06:23] | I am very happy right now, thrilled perhaps, to be a part of the office, | 我现在很高兴，或者说是极度兴奋 能成为办公室的一份子 |
| [06:27] | to be a part of the conversation. | 能加入大家的话题 |
| [06:29] | When you have somebody’s attention, and their eyes are lighting up | 当你引起别人的注意，因为你说的话 |
| [06:33] | because they are very interested in what you have to say, | 让他们两眼放光的话 |
| [06:35] | that is a great feeling. | 感觉简直棒极了 |
| [06:37] | And I experienced that firsthand today. | 我今天亲自体验了一把 |
| [06:39] | It is wonderful to be the center of attention. | 成为大家关注的焦点感觉很爽 |
| [06:42] | That and that are the same letter. | 这个和这个是一个字母 |
| [06:45] | Q. | –字母Q |
| [06:46] | No. No. | –不对 |
| [06:48] | Okay. He’s holding a pencil. | 好吧，他拿着一支铅笔 |
| [06:50] | He could be doing a crossword puzzle with that pencil. | 他可以用这支铅笔来做填字游戏 |
| [06:53] | What’s that letter, right there? Same letter here and here. | 那应该是什么字母？这里和这里的字母相同 |
| [06:56] | What haven’t you guessed? T. | –你还有哪些字母没有猜？ –字母T |
| [06:58] | T! Yes! Yes! That is a T. | T，对！这里有一个T |
| [07:03] | And there’s another one right there. Just sound that out. You’re almost there. | 这里也有一个T，答案呼之欲出了，就要填完了 |
| [07:09] | Hey, Stanley, where are you going, big guy? Up to no good? | 嘿，斯坦利，去哪儿？ 是不是要去干什么坏事啊？ |
| [07:12] | I’m meeting a client. Do you have a problem with that? | 我去见客户，你有意见？ |
| [07:14] | No, no, no, no, no. I just had a quick question for you. | 没有，我就想问个小问题 |
| [07:18] | I’m casting a movie and I’m looking for a woman who can dance, beautiful woman. | 我在为一部电影选角，需要找一位会跳舞的美丽女士 |
| [07:23] | Do you know anybody? | 你认识这样的人吗？ |
| [07:24] | Goodbye. | 再见 |
| [07:25] | Pays 5 million dollars. Nudity required. | 薪酬是五百万，需要裸体 |
| [07:29] | You have to stop this. | 你得停止了 |
| [07:30] | Did you hear that Stanley’s having an affair? | 你听说了吗？斯坦利有外遇了 |
| [07:32] | I did. From you. You got to stop telling people. | 我听说了，听你说的，你别再到处说了 |
| [07:35] | Okay. I get it. You feel out of the loop and you feel sorry for yourself, | 好吧，我明白了 你觉得自己是圈外人，所以感到难过 |
| [07:38] | and it’s really sad because everybody thinks you’re a loser. | 真是悲哀，大家觉得你是个废柴 |
| [07:41] | Do you even know if it’s true? Do you have any idea? | 你确定你说的是事实吗？你验证过吗？ |
| [07:43] | Because you might be ruining his life. | 因为你这样可能会毁了他的生活 |
| [07:52] | Hold up! Hold up! Hold up! No, no, no, no! | 停车！停下来！ |
| [07:56] | It’s time to stop being polite and get real! | 该撕下面具来面对现实了 |
| [07:58] | Stanley, you having an affair? | 斯坦利，你是不是有外遇了？ |
| [08:01] | That is ridiculous. Of course not. Why would you think that? | 这太荒谬了，当然没有，你怎么会这么想？ |
| [08:05] | So it’s not true. Okay. Well… | 所以这不是真的，那么… |
| [08:09] | Oh! | |
| [08:10] | Those interns, they told me they saw you at the club, | 那些实习生，他们说看见你在俱乐部 |
| [08:14] | and they all said it was you. | 很肯定地说那是你 |
| [08:16] | It was clearly just racial profiling gossip. The little… | 很显然，这是针对肤色种族的谣言，这群小… |
| [08:22] | Damn! I told her it was a stupid idea… | 该死！我就说去那个俱乐部 |
| [08:25] | It’s so stupid. …to go up in that club. | –是个蠢主意 –真是蠢透了 |
| [08:27] | It’s just that Teri’s been traveling a lot lately. | 只是特莉最近总是不在家 |
| [08:31] | I know. I know. It’s been lonely. | –我知道 –我很寂寞 |
| [08:33] | Oh, I bet. I… | 那当然 |
| [08:35] | Cynthia’s been keeping me company. | 辛西娅一直陪着我 |
| [08:37] | She was my nurse when I was in rehabilitation. | 她是我之前在康复诊疗所的护士 |
| [08:41] | We used to go on these long walks on the treadmill. | 我们的很多散步都是在跑步机上完成的 |
| [08:46] | I didn’t intend… | 我并没有想… |
| [08:48] | Wait, wait, wait. | 等下 |
| [08:52] | So it is true? | 所以这是真的？ |
| [08:53] | Yeah, but Michael, I’m going to go break it off. | 是的，但是我打算结束它 |
| [08:55] | That’s where I’m headed right now. I swear. | 我正要去处理这件事，我发誓 |
| [08:56] | Oh, my God. Wait a second. | 我的天，等一下 |
| [08:58] | Do people often say they’re going on sales calls and then go someplace else? | 是不是大家都会用见客户为借口去做别的事情？ |
| [09:02] | Because that’s not cool. | 因为这是不可接受的 |
| [09:03] | I just need you to promise not to say a word about this to anyone. | 我需要你向我保证不会把这件事告诉任何人 |
| [09:08] | Michael, please. | –迈克尔，求你了 |
| [09:09] | I’m not saying a damn thing. | –我一个字也不会说的 |
| [09:11] | I’m counting on you, Michael. | –我只能靠你了，迈克尔 |
| [09:12] | Okay. You can count on me. | –没问题，包在我身上 |
| [09:19] | Oh, that smells good. | 真香 |
| [09:20] | Yeah, I might have extra. It just depends on how many I eat. | 如果我吃完了还有得剩，可以分你一点 |
| [09:23] | Did you hear about Angela? That’s pretty weird. | 你听说安杰拉的事了没？很奇怪 |
| [09:25] | Yeah. What do you mean exactly? | 你什么意思？ |
| [09:29] | Well, the fact that she apparently is dating an 81-year-old billionaire. | 她好像在跟一个81岁的亿万富翁约会 |
| [09:34] | Owns a Quiznos on the turnpike. | 在高速路上开了一家快餐店 |
| [09:37] | Really? Uh-huh. | 真的？ |
| [09:39] | Right? | 保密听到没？ |
| [09:40] | How do you un-tell something? You can’t. | 你怎么撤回你说过的话？没办法 |
| [09:45] | You can’t put words back in your mouth. | 说出去的话就是泼出去的水 |
| [09:47] | What you can do is spread false gossip, | 但是你可以散播谣言 |
| [09:52] | so that people think that everything that’s been said is untrue, | 让人们觉得你说的都是假的 |
| [09:56] | including “Stanley is having an affair.” | 包括之前“斯坦利有外遇”的消息 |
| [10:00] | It’s like the end of Spartacus. I’ve seen that movie half a dozen times, | 就像是那部电影《斯巴达克斯》，我看过很多遍 |
| [10:04] | and I still don’t know who the real Spartacus is. | 但是我还是搞不清楚到底谁是斯巴达克斯 |
| [10:07] | And that is what makes that movie a classic whodunit. | 而正是这让这部电影成为一部经典悬疑之作 |
| [10:11] | Kelly has an eating disorder? MICHAEL: Yes. | –凯莉有饮食问题？ –是的 |
| [10:13] | She always eats my lunch. | –她经常吃我的午餐 |
| [10:14] | Anorexia. She’s an anorexitic. | –厌食，她有厌食症 |
| [10:17] | We should do something. | –我们得做点什么 |
| [10:19] | Nothing can be done. | –做什么都没用 |
| [10:20] | Just have to tell everybody and hope for the best, I guess. | 只能跟大家说，然后希望能出现好转 |
| [10:24] | I’m worried about Erin because she’s not a very good worker. | 我担心艾琳，因为她不是个好员工 |
| [10:28] | I don’t know how long she’s going to last here. | 我不知道她还会在这里呆多久 |
| [10:29] | Really? Yeah. So… | –真的吗？ –是的，所以… |
| [10:32] | And Andy is gay. | 还有，安迪是个同性恋 |
| [10:35] | Andy Bernard? Mmm-hmm. | 安迪伯纳德？ |
| [10:37] | Did you hear Pam is pregnant? | 你听说潘怀孕了吗？ |
| [10:40] | Really? Yeah. | –是吗？ –是的 |
| [10:43] | She’s going to hate being a mom. | 她可不会喜欢当一个母亲的 |
| [10:52] | What? Tea. | –怎么了？ –茶 |
| [10:54] | So? You would. | –那又怎样？ –你可以的 |
| [10:57] | I like tea. Oh, I bet you like it. | –我喜欢喝茶 –就知道你喜欢 |
| [11:00] | Yeah. I like it a lot. I love tea. | 我超喜欢喝茶的 |
| [11:05] | Do you like it as much as you like men’s butts? | 那跟男人的屁股比起来如何呢？ |
| [11:08] | What? Because you’re gay. | –什么？ –因为你是同性恋啊 |
| [11:13] | Who told you that? Was it Broccoli Rob? Someone from Chi Psi? | 谁告诉你的？是不是布罗科利罗布？ 还是学生会的人？ |
| [11:19] | Or did you run into someone from my high school? | 还是你碰到了我的高中同学？ |
| [11:21] | This is not the first time rumors about me being gay have come up. | 这不是第一次有谣言说我是同性恋了 |
| [11:26] | Twice before, actually. | 实际上，之前发生过两次 |
| [11:28] | Just a weird coincidence. It’s a little too weird. | 只不过是荒谬的巧合，太荒谬了 |
| [11:36] | Almost makes you wonder if it’s not a coincidence at all. Whoa! | 让你怀疑到底是不是巧合 |
| [11:40] | Which it is, of course. | 当然，确实是巧合 |
| [11:43] | But it makes you wonder. | 只是让你开始怀疑 |
| [11:46] | Did you hear the rumor about me, that I’m gay? | 你听说关于我是同性恋的谣传了没？ |
| [11:49] | I did, yes. | 是的，我听说了 |
| [11:52] | And? What? | –然后呢？ –什么？ |
| [11:56] | Do you think it’s true? Do you think that I’m gay? | 你觉得是真的吗？你觉得我是同性恋吗？ |
| [12:00] | Are you attracted to other men? | 你有没有被其他男人迷倒？ |
| [12:04] | No. | 没有 |
| [12:06] | But let me kick you a scenario. | 你想象一下这样的情景 |
| [12:09] | I’m at, like, a beach cabana and Brad Pitt approaches, | 比方说，我在一个海边木屋里 然后布拉德皮特走了过来 |
| [12:13] | tries to lean in and kiss me. | 想要靠过来吻我 |
| [12:17] | I would definitely resist, like, at first, but if he was persistent, | 当然，我一开始会反抗，但如果他坚持 |
| [12:23] | I might give in a little bit to just sort of see what it felt like. | 我可能会稍微让步一下 只想看看到底是什么感觉 |
| [12:29] | Would I push him away? How hard? Like, what if he’s, like, really aggressive? | 我会不会推开他？用多大力？ 如果他过于强势要怎么办？ |
| [12:34] | If you resisted Brad Pitt a little bit, he would still need to get to you? | 如果你稍稍拒绝了布拉德皮特 他还会对你死缠烂打吗？ |
| [12:40] | This is not real Brad Pitt, this is, like, in my… This is my fantasy. | 我不是说真的布拉德皮特，我只是幻想罢了 |
| [12:45] | Or it’s, like, not fantasy, it’s, like, what I’m… It’s just a scenario. | 或者说，不是幻想，只是个场景 |
| [12:49] | Well, I wish I could help you. I don’t… You might be gay. You might be gay. | 我希望我能帮上你，但是我… 你可能真的是同性恋 |
| [12:58] | What exactly is my responsibility here? | 这种情况我到底要怎么做？ |
| [13:00] | To comfort insecure heterosexual men? | 安慰那些不安的异性恋？ |
| [13:03] | That can’t possibly fall to me. | 这不可能是我的责任 |
| [13:05] | How far along is Pam? | 潘怀孕多久了？ |
| [13:06] | A few months. That’s why they’re rushing the wedding. | 几个月了，所以他们急着办婚礼 |
| [13:08] | Guys, guys, guys, you can’t believe everything you hear. | 我说各位，你们不能相信你们听到的每件事 |
| [13:11] | Like Stanley having an affair. | 比如斯坦利有外遇啊，这太荒唐了，空穴来风 |
| [13:13] | That is crazy. There’s no stock in it. | |
| [13:17] | It’s a weird day for false facts. Just let it go. | 今天太多不靠谱的八卦了，忘了这些 |
| [13:20] | Okay, everybody, big day. Last day for our interns. Lot of other stuff. | 好了各位，今天是重要的一天 我们实习生的最后一天，还有些有的没的 |
| [13:26] | Who knows what to believe? Dwight, the honors. | 谁知道哪些应该相信呢？ 德怀特，该颁发荣誉奖状了 |
| [13:31] | Present these to the Dean for credit. And as a gift, I’ve attached my card. | 把这些交给你们的院长来获得学分 作为礼物，我随附了我的名片 |
| [13:37] | Call me any time of the day or night. | 白天晚上，随时打给我都可以 |
| [13:39] | Why would we call you at night? | 为什么要晚上打给你？ |
| [13:41] | Well, now you can’t call me at all, so problem solved. | 你干脆别打了，问题解决了 |
| [13:44] | You’re going to regret that when you find yourself | 等你晚上发现自己被麋鹿和它的幼崽夹攻时 |
| [13:45] | between a moose and her cubs at night. | 你就会后悔的 |
| [13:48] | Look to the intern on your left. Now to your right. | 看看你们左边的实习生，再看看右边 |
| [13:51] | One of you will do exceedingly well in business, just unlimited potential. | 你们中有人将会在职场上大放光芒，潜能无限 |
| [13:55] | One of you will make a living and nothing more. | 而有人却只能苟且偷生 |
| [13:59] | And one of you will make a great mother. | 有人将会成为一个优秀的母亲 |
| [14:04] | It’s up to you to choose which you want to be. | 成为什么样的人，决定权在你们的手里 |
| [14:09] | I am so happy you’re eating again. | –真高兴你又开始吃饭了 |
| [14:11] | Me, too. | –我也是 |
| [14:13] | Tuna, how come you never try to set me up? | 哥们，你为什么从来不给我介绍妹子呢？ |
| [14:15] | I don’t really do that. But Pam might have some friends, though. | 我从来不干那事，但是潘可能会有些朋友 |
| [14:18] | Women friends? Yeah. | –女性朋友？ –是的 |
| [14:20] | Not guy friends? | 不是男性朋友？ |
| [14:22] | Are you interested in her guy friends? | 你对她的男性朋友感兴趣？ |
| [14:24] | No. I mean, for the record, I prefer women. | 不，我郑重申明，我喜欢的是女人 |
| [14:27] | Okay. But off the record, I’m kind of confused. | –好吧 –不过私底下说，我有点迷茫 |
| [14:30] | Really? | 真的？ |
| [14:32] | Yeah, the evidence is sort of stacked against me, I feel like. | 对，我感觉有迹象表明我不是我认为的那样 |
| [14:35] | Well, you’ve got to figure this out. Yeah, right? | –那你得搞清楚这件事 –对吧？ |
| [14:37] | Yeah. How? | –是的 –怎么做？ |
| [14:38] | You’ve got to have sex with a woman. | –你得找个女人上床 |
| [14:40] | Righto. | –说得对 |
| [14:41] | And then a man. And then compare. | 然后再找个男人，然后比较一下 |
| [14:43] | Oh! | |
| [14:47] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [14:48] | Well, hey. Yep. | |
| [14:49] | Congratulations to you. On what? | –祝贺你 –为什么？ |
| [14:51] | Come on. | 别装了 |
| [14:53] | Little baby Tuna. Little junior Toro. | 小金枪鱼，小公牛 |
| [15:00] | You know, a baby conceived out of wedlock is still a bastard. | 你知道吗，即使是婚后生的孩子也可能是未婚先孕 |
| [15:04] | What? | –什么？ |
| [15:06] | Want me to say it again? | –要我再说一遍？ |
| [15:07] | Why did that come into your brain? | 你怎么说起这个来？ |
| [15:08] | Can I talk to you for a second? | 能借一步说话吗？ |
| [15:12] | So, they know. | 这么说，他们知道了 |
| [15:13] | Who did you tell? I didn’t tell anyone. Who did you tell? | –你告诉谁了？ –我谁也没说，你跟谁说了？ |
| [15:15] | Nobody. | 完全没有 |
| [15:17] | Hey, did one of you tell Stanley that I have asthma? Because I don’t. | 嘿，你们谁告诉斯坦利我有哮喘？我可没有 |
| [15:21] | If it gets out they won’t let me scuba. | 这谣言传出去，我就不能潜水了 |
| [15:23] | If I can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about? | 如果我不能潜水，这一切还有什么意思？ |
| [15:27] | What am I working toward? | 我还有什么人生目标？ |
| [15:28] | What? You think I’m the voice of the Taco Bell dog? | 什么？你们认为塔可钟吉娃娃是我配的音？ |
| [15:32] | What are you guys talking about? I have a daughter. How could I be a virgin? | 你们在说什么呢？我有一个女儿，怎么可能是处男？ |
| [15:37] | Hey, has everyone heard a crazy rumor about themselves today? | 今天是不是每个人都听说了关于自己的谣言？ |
| [15:40] | Yes. | –是的 –是的 |
| [15:41] | Yeah, yeah! You know what, let’s discredit these rumors. | 那好，这样吧，我们不理这些谣言好了 |
| [15:44] | Yeah, sure, but who’s been saying all that stuff? | 好的，但是谁在四处散播这些谣言？ |
| [15:46] | It’s not important, Jim. I just think we shouldn’t listen to any of this crap. | 这不重要，我觉得我们不该相信这些 |
| [15:49] | Sure, but we should get to the bottom of this. | 但是我们得搞清楚到底发生什么事了吧？ |
| [15:51] | Let’s pick a rumor and trace it back to the beginning. | 我们挑一条谣言，然后往回找到源头 |
| [15:53] | I need to do mine first. | 我先来 |
| [15:55] | Who’s been saying that there’s another person inside of me | 是谁说我体内有另一个人 |
| [15:59] | working me with controls? | 用控制杆操纵我的？ |
| [16:01] | I heard that from Andy. | 我听安迪说的 |
| [16:04] | I heard it from Erin. | –我听艾琳说的 |
| [16:05] | What? | –什么？ |
| [16:06] | I heard it from Michael. | 我听迈克尔说的 |
| [16:09] | Michael. | 迈克尔 |
| [16:12] | Michael? | 迈克尔？ |
| [16:14] | He’s over here. | 他在这儿 |
| [16:16] | Where are you going? Nowhere. | –你去哪儿？ –哪也不去 |
| [16:17] | Michael. Hmm? | 迈克尔 |
| [16:22] | You told people that I use store-bought manure, | 我给你看了我家肥料的来源之后 |
| [16:26] | when I showed you where my manure comes from. | 你还跟别人说我的肥料是店里买的？ |
| [16:30] | Hmm? Hmm? | |
| [16:33] | Don’t get on it. Michael, don’t. | –别进去 –迈克尔，不要 |
| [16:35] | – Don’t get on. Do not. – Michael, no. | –别进去，不要 –迈克尔，不行 |
| [16:38] | Michael. Stay, Michael. | –迈克尔 –站住，迈克尔 |
| [16:39] | Step away. Stay. | –出来 –站住 |
| [16:41] | – Come on, boss. – No. No. | –拜托，头儿 –别 |
| [16:45] | Okay, I made it all up. KELLY: What? | –好吧，都是我编的 –什么？ |
| [16:48] | Even the fact that I’m gay? | 连我是同性恋也是你编的？ |
| [16:49] | Yes. Yes! | –是的 –终于！ |
| [16:51] | But, guys, I’m a victim here, too. Okay? | 但是伙计们，我也是受害者 |
| [16:54] | People have been saying that I’m a J. Crew model. | 有人说我是服装店的男模 |
| [16:57] | No, we heard that about Jim. | 不对，我们听说的是杰姆 |
| [16:58] | Jim? No, no, I spread the rumor that somebody here was a J. Crew model | 杰姆？不对，我散播谣言说这里有人是服装店男模 |
| [17:03] | and I was referring to myself. | 其实我说的是我自己 |
| [17:04] | How is that a bad rumor? | 这怎么让你成为受害者了？ |
| [17:05] | Because a lot of people think that models, even though they’re very attractive, | 因为很多人认为，虽然模特很有魅力 |
| [17:09] | are somewhat vapid. It’s set our industry back quite a bit. | 但是他们都很无趣，这阻碍了我们行业的发展 |
| [17:13] | Michael, why? Why say all these things? Why make up an eating disorder, | 迈克尔，为什么？为什么编这些谣言？ 为什么说有人厌食 |
| [17:17] | Stanley’s affair, me being a spokesdog? | 斯坦利有外遇，还有我给狗配音？ |
| [17:20] | You told everyone I was having an affair? | 你跟大家说我有外遇？ |
| [17:22] | Okay, okay, here’s the thing. | 好吧，其实是这么回事 |
| [17:25] | There was one true rumor out there today. I didn’t want everybody to know what it was, | 今天的谣言里有一个是真的 我不想让大家知道是什么 |
| [17:29] | so all of you are off the hook except for this one person. | 所以关于你们的谣言都是假的，除了那个人的 |
| [17:33] | Well, then what’s the one true rumor? | 那么，哪个谣言是真的？ |
| [17:35] | We have a right to know. | 我们有权力知道 |
| [17:37] | Michael, am I gay? | 迈克尔，我是同性恋吗？ |
| [17:40] | The one true rumor, and this is going to ruin this person’s life, is that… | 这个谣言，会毁了这个人的生活，是… |
| [17:45] | That Pam’s pregnant. | 潘怀孕了 |
| [17:46] | I knew it, I knew it. I knew it! | –我就知道 –我就知道 |
| [17:48] | Her breasts were a tiny bit bigger. At first, I thought, | 她的胸部有点变大，起初我想 |
| [17:52] | “Oh! She has a new bra with padding.” | 她是不是买了个魔术胸罩 |
| [17:55] | But then I thought, “Pam doesn’t need padding.” | 然后我又想，潘根本不需要那玩意 |
| [17:59] | It just didn’t add up, Jim. | –这完全不合理，杰姆 |
| [18:00] | Okay, thank you. | –好了，谢谢你 |
| [18:02] | Congratulations! | 恭喜你！ |
| [18:03] | That’s really great, you guys. RYAN: Don’t vaccinate it. | –真是太棒了 –别给孩子打疫苗啊 |
| [18:05] | Who’s the father? Jim. | –孩子父亲是谁？ –杰姆 |
| [18:06] | – How far along? – Four months. | –多久了？ –四个月了 |
| [18:08] | Who’s the OB-GYN? Stop. Don’t. | –妇产科医生是谁？ –打住，别说了 |
| [18:10] | All right, you know, this is not the truth and you can’t fall on the sword this way. | 好吧，这并不是那个真的谣言 你们不能这样代人受过 |
| [18:16] | The real thing is that Stanley Hudson had an affair. | 真正的情况是，斯坦利哈德森有外遇了 |
| [18:19] | No. Yes. | –不对 |
| [18:21] | Thank you for trying to defend us, | –是的 谢谢你为我们掩护 |
| [18:22] | but actually Pam is pregnant and we can prove it. | 但是潘确实怀孕了，我们能证明 |
| [18:24] | Yes. If everybody would like to see the proof. | –是的 –如果有人想看证据的话 |
| [18:26] | Wanna… Okay. Okay. | –想要…好的 –好的 |
| [18:28] | We’re just going to wait here? | –我们就这样等着？ –证据会是什么？我是说… |
| [18:29] | What’s the proof, I mean… | –哦，我的天哪 –天哪 |
| [18:36] | It’s true! Pam, look at that! | –是真的 –潘，瞧瞧啊 |
| [18:40] | That is the inside of your vagina. | 这是你阴道内部的图片 |
| [18:42] | That’s not how it works but… | 这事不应该这样发生，但是… |
| [18:44] | It’s clear why we were trying not to tell people. That’s clear now. Yeah. | 所以我们才瞒着不告诉别人，就知道会这样 |
| [18:54] | How long have you known about the pregnancy? | 你们知道怀孕多久了？ |
| [18:58] | A week? A month? A year? | 一个礼拜？一个月？一年？ |
| [19:02] | Michael, we only told our parents last week. | 迈克尔，我们上周才告诉我们的父母 |
| [19:04] | Did you pee on a stick? | –你有用验孕棒吗？ |
| [19:05] | I did. But it was inconclusive. | –是的，但不能完全肯定 |
| [19:09] | You should have told me. | 你们应该告诉我的 |
| [19:12] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [19:13] | We should have realized that you are an equal part of this. | 我们早该意识到你跟我们一样有知情权 |
| [19:19] | Yes. | –请说 |
| [19:20] | Michael, Teri Hudson returning your call. | –迈克尔，特莉哈德森给你回电了 |
| [19:23] | You called Stanley’s wife? | 你给斯坦利老婆打电话了？ |
| [19:24] | Oh! Oh! | |
| [19:26] | Yeah, a long time ago. Just to make sure she was out of town. | 是的，很早之前 只是确定她真的出城了 |
| [19:29] | Oh, God. Don’t take it. | –天哪 –别接 |
| [19:31] | No, I have to take it or it’ll seem suspicious. | 不行，我得接，不然就太可疑了 |
| [19:33] | If you talk to her, you’re going to tell her about Stanley | 如果你和她说话，就会提到斯坦利 |
| [19:35] | and that’s going to seem more suspicious. | 这样看起来会更可疑 |
| [19:37] | No, no, no, I can do this. You can’t do this. | –不，我能应付得来 –你应付不来的 |
| [19:38] | Yes, I can. I am going to tell her that I need to redecorate my condo | 不，我可以的 我会告诉她我需要重新装修我的公寓 |
| [19:43] | and I need her help. | 我需要她的帮助 |
| [19:44] | We will haggle about money, and I will back down, | 然后我们会讨论价钱，之后我会放弃 |
| [19:47] | and then I won’t talk to her until this whole Cynthia thing has blown over. | 在整个辛西娅的事件平息之前我不会再和她说话 |
| [19:51] | Sounds terrible. We think you should… | –听起来不怎么样，我们觉得你应该… |
| [19:52] | Michael, please don’t. | –迈克尔，请别接 |
| [19:53] | Hey, what up, Cynthia? | 怎么了，辛西娅？ |
| [20:02] | Just hang on a second, Cynthia. | 等一下，辛西娅 |
| [20:13] | Well, it turns out that Teri was already suspicious | 原来特莉早就起了疑心 |
| [20:16] | because she had caught Stanley and Cynthia a few months ago. | 因为她在几个月前就把斯坦利和辛西娅抓个正着 |
| [20:20] | So Stanley promised that he would stop, and he did. End of story. | 然后斯坦利承诺不再联络，他也做到了，故事结束 |
| [20:25] | Well, not exactly. | 也不完全是这样 |
| [20:29] | Cynthia kept calling him. | 辛西娅还一直打给他 |
| [20:31] | She would not stop calling him, and she was in love with him. | 她不愿意分手，她爱上了他 |
| [20:34] | And get this. Cynthia, also married. | 还有，辛西娅也结婚了 |
| [20:37] | So, you can’t stop love, I guess. | 所以，我觉得，爱情是无法阻止的 |
| [20:41] | And quite frankly, I don’t think you should ever even try. | 坦白说，我觉得你最好连试也不要 |
| [20:50] | I learned that a company can describe their internship as full of exciting experiences, | 我学到了公司会把他们的实习机会 吹得天花乱坠 |
| [20:55] | even if that’s a lie. There’s no regulation. | 即使那是在说谎，也没有机构进行监管 |
| [20:59] | I learned that half these people’s e-mail password is “Password.” | 我学到了公司里一半的人 会把电邮的密码设置为“密码” |
| [21:02] | I learned that a ream of paper is 300 sheets. | 我学到了一令纸有300张 |
| [21:06] | I thought it was 500. | 我以为有500张 |
| [21:08] | Oh! | |
| [21:10] | I guess I didn’t learn anything. | 我觉得我什么都没有学到 |
| [21:13] | I learned that if you look even the tiniest bit like Jet Li, | 我学到了如果你长得哪怕只有一点像李连杰 |
| [21:16] | Michael will call you Jet Li all summer. | 迈克尔整个夏天都会叫你李连杰 |
| [21:19] | Julia Stiles. Alan Thicke. | –朱丽娅斯蒂尔斯 –艾伦锡克 |