| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | And then, I think I’m going to go to the garlic festival. | 然后，我打算去大蒜节 |
| [00:05] | Wow. Sounds like fun. You guys would love it. | –哇噢 –听起来不错，你们肯定会喜欢的 |
| [00:07] | No, we wouldn’t. They have a TCBY booth. | –我不觉得 –有天使冰王的摊位哦 |
| [00:09] | Cool. Same stuff you get downtown. | –不错 –跟市里面卖的一样 |
| [00:11] | Do you like TCBY? Who doesn’t? | –你喜欢天使冰王吗？ –谁不喜欢？ |
| [00:12] | “I can’t believe it’s yogurt.” Lt’ll be fun. | “天使也爱吃的雪糕”，会很有趣的 |
| [00:17] | I confirmed with Raskin Design and they’re expecting the both of you in an hour. | 我跟拉斯金设计公司确认过了 他们要你们俩一个小时后过去 |
| [00:21] | Oh, actually, it’s just going to be me. | –其实，只有我一个人去 |
| [00:23] | They said the both of you. | –他们说的是你们俩 |
| [00:24] | That’s a mistake. | 肯定弄错了 |
| [00:26] | You should give them a call, check that out. | 给他们打个电话，搞清楚 |
| [00:28] | All right, just clear this up. | 好吧，要确定一下 |
| [00:30] | Well, there’s actually been a few changes in the company, | 最近我们公司的人事有点变动 |
| [00:33] | and Michael and I are actually at the same level. | 迈克尔和我现在是同一个级别 |
| [00:35] | So, I can… No. | 所以，我可以…不 |
| [00:38] | No, why would that be a problem? | 不，完全没问题 |
| [00:40] | Jim’s a good kid, he can handle a lot, | 杰姆是个好小伙，他能处理很多事情 |
| [00:42] | but sometimes you have to call in a master. | 但是有时候还是得靠大师 我… |
| [00:47] | Why would you date an amateur when you could date a professional? | 如果你可以选择约见专家的话 怎么会选择约见一个菜鸟？ |
| [00:52] | Great. See you then. | –很好，一会儿见 |
| [00:54] | What? | –怎么说？ |
| [00:55] | They said that they would feel more comfortable if you came along. | 他们说如果你同去的话，会觉得更安心 |
| [00:58] | Why don’t they just want you to go by yourself? | 他们为什么不要你一个人去？ |
| [01:00] | Why do they want me to come, too? I don’t understand. | 他们为什么要我也过去？我不明白 |
| [01:03] | I absolutely don’t understand, either. | 我也完全不明白 |
| [01:05] | I don’t want you to feel like I’m babysitting you or something. | 我不想让你觉得 我是在把你当成婴儿来照看还是怎样 |
| [01:09] | All right. | All right. –好的 –好吧 |
| [01:11] | Let me go get your stroller. | 我去推你的婴儿车 |
| [01:15] | Sure. Michael’s a good teacher. | 当然，迈克尔是个好的导师 |
| [01:17] | A teacher is someone who stands | 那种一辈子都会在你身边 |
| [01:19] | right next to you your whole life | |
| [01:20] | and never lets you do anything. | 什么都不要放手给你做的导师 导师本来就是这样，不是吗？ （斯克兰顿 欢迎您） |
| [01:22] | That’s what a teacher is, right? | （敦德 米福林） （接待员） 办公室 |
| [01:46] | What are you going to call him? Dave. | –你要怎么称呼他？ –戴夫 |
| [01:47] | No. What is his name? Dave. | –不对，他叫什么名字？ –戴夫 |
| [01:49] | Mr. Borchard. They’re very formal. | –博查德先生，他们很正式的 |
| [01:51] | Yeah. I’ve spoken to them on the phone. | –对，我可跟他们通过电话 |
| [01:52] | Yeah, well, this is not the phone. | 是啊，可现在不是打电话 |
| [01:55] | This is real life, baby, and you got to own it. | 这是真实的生活，孩子，你必须要有自信 |
| [01:58] | Is that what you are wearing? | –你打算穿这个去？ |
| [02:00] | Yes, it is. | –是的 |
| [02:01] | And that is the watch that you are going to wear? | 你就戴那只手表去？ |
| [02:04] | No, it is not. You should wear this watch. | 这不行，你得戴这只表，我先借给你 |
| [02:07] | I will loan it to you. | |
| [02:08] | It is a Tankard. I highly recommend you wear that. | 这是坦卡德表，我强烈推荐你戴 |
| [02:11] | No, thanks. They are into style. | –不用了，谢谢 |
| [02:13] | Mmm-hmm. | –他们很注重风格 |
| [02:14] | They are into appearance. We are selling success. | 他们注重仪表，我们推销的是成功 |
| [02:16] | And paper. That’s sort of secondary. | –还有纸张 –那倒是次要 |
| [02:19] | Nope. No. | 不，不要 |
| [02:21] | He’s trying to micro co-manage me. | 他想从细节上控制我 |
| [02:24] | Or co-micromanage me. | 或者控制我的细节 |
| [02:30] | Here we are outside of the Wilkes-Barre… W.B. | –我们现在在威尔克斯巴里… –威巴 |
| [02:32] | …lndustrial Park. Industrial P. | –…工业园区 –工业园 |
| [02:35] | Making cold calls. | 上门推销 |
| [02:36] | The two people with the lowest sales | 每季度业绩最差的两名销售员都需要这么做 |
| [02:38] | in the quarter have to do them. | |
| [02:41] | Palpabon Drilling, where are you | 帕普邦钻井公司，你在哪里 |
| [02:44] | Dean Trophies, suite 100 | 迪恩奖杯公司，100号套房 |
| [02:48] | Sherman Blinds & Rugs, suite 202 | 谢曼窗帘和毛毯公司，202号套房 |
| [02:52] | Here it is. | 在这里 |
| [02:53] | Palpabon Drilling | 帕普邦钻井公司 |
| [02:54] | Suite 401. | –401号套房 |
| [02:56] | Yeah, I was going to sing that part. | –我正准备唱出来 |
| [02:57] | I know. Now you don’t have to. | 我知道，现在不用唱了 |
| [02:58] | Well, except it was going to resolve the melody, | 除了这会破坏旋律，现在我的头很疼 |
| [03:01] | so now my head hurts. | |
| [03:02] | It feels like I held in a sneeze. | 想打喷嚏打不出的感觉，我讨厌这种感觉 |
| [03:04] | I hate this feeling. | |
| [03:09] | Suite 401 | 401号套房 |
| [03:15] | All right. | 好了 |
| [03:18] | Hi. Any messages? | –有什么消息吗？ |
| [03:19] | You’re soaking wet. | –你都湿透了 |
| [03:20] | Oh, well, Jim and I got caught in a little | 杰姆和我遇到了一场突然的大雨 |
| [03:22] | flash rain, flash winds, flash lightning. | 一阵突然的大风和一道突然的闪电 |
| [03:25] | Wow. Sounds scary. | 听起来很可怕 |
| [03:27] | It was. It was. And then in an instant, it wasn’t. | 确实如此，然后一切突然停止了 |
| [03:31] | Why isn’t Jim wet? | –杰姆怎么没湿？ |
| [03:32] | I outran it. | –我跑得比较快 |
| [03:33] | I don’t think it rained. My hip would be throbbing. | 我不觉得有下雨，不然我的屁股会抽筋的 |
| [03:36] | It rained. Michael, can I get you something? | –下了 –迈克尔，要不要给你拿点什么？ |
| [03:38] | A towel, some cocoa? | –毛巾，热可可什么的？ |
| [03:40] | Nothing. Cocoa. | –不用了，热可可吧 |
| [03:42] | I’ll just leave that suit in your office, then? | 那我就把那套西服留在你的办公室了？ |
| [03:44] | Good, yeah. | 好的 |
| [03:46] | Must be nice to have company on these cold calls. | 上门推销的时候有个伴肯定好多了吧 |
| [03:48] | We’re kind of a dynamic duo. | 我们是活力二人组，或者说三人组 |
| [03:50] | Or trio. | |
| [03:52] | How exciting! Do you guys know the sex yet? | 恭喜啊！你们知道宝宝的性别了吗？ |
| [03:56] | Oh, no, no. | 不 |
| [03:59] | We’re not together. No, no, no. Definitely not. | 我们不是一对，这绝不可能，你弄错了 |
| [04:03] | Definitely not. No, we just work together. | 这绝不可能，我们只是同事 |
| [04:06] | Looks like somebody’s got a case of the definitelys. | 说得真绝 |
| [04:13] | Michael, the custodian from Raskin Design is on the line. | 迈克尔，拉斯金的管理员电话找你 |
| [04:16] | He said they found your keys in the koi pond. | 他说在锦鲤池里找到了你的钥匙 |
| [04:18] | Okay, thank you. | 好的，谢谢 |
| [04:21] | Did you say koi pond? | 你是不是说锦鲤池？ |
| [04:24] | Yeah? Michael, people are asking questions. | –怎么了？ –迈克尔，大家有问题要问 |
| [04:27] | Okay. Put them on speaker. | 好吧，按免提 |
| [04:30] | Hey, guys, what’s going on? | –嘿，各位，怎么回事？ |
| [04:31] | Hey, Michael, did you fall into a koi pond? | –迈克尔，你是不是掉进锦鲤池了？ |
| [04:34] | I can’t really hear you. I think we have sort of a bad connection. | 我听不清你说什么，信号很差 |
| [04:37] | Jim, did Michael fall into a koi pond? | 杰姆，迈克尔是不是掉进锦鲤池了？ |
| [04:42] | It’s like Michael said. It was something else. | 正如迈克尔说的那样，是其他原因 |
| [04:45] | Okay, this is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots | 好吧，是这样，有一群蠢货 |
| [04:48] | that had put a fish tank in the ground with no cover and no railing. | 把鱼箱放在地上，没盖盖子，也没放围栏 |
| [04:52] | So you fell in? No. | –然后你掉进去了？ –不是！ |
| [04:53] | Maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in. | 应该是我要救一个快要掉进去的小孩 |
| [04:56] | So a child had fallen in? | –所以一个小孩掉进去了？ |
| [04:57] | Not yet. | –还没有 |
| [04:59] | That is hilarious. | 这真是太搞笑了 |
| [05:00] | No. Don’t. I’m not going to bump. I’m not going to bump. | 不，不要，我不要跟你击拳庆祝 |
| [05:03] | And it was not hilarious. It was very, very terrifying. | 这一点也不好笑，当时非常吓人 |
| [05:08] | Truthfully, it wasn’t the way he fell in. | 说实话，好玩的不是他掉下去的样子 |
| [05:11] | It was how long it took him to get out. | （杰姆哈尔佩特） 而是他花了很久才爬出来 |
| [05:14] | And we’d like to offer you 15% off your first purchase | 我们愿意为您的第一笔订单提供15%的折扣 |
| [05:17] | as our way of welcoming you to the area. | 作为对您的公司选择我们的谢意 |
| [05:19] | Well, that sounds like a really nice deal. | 这听起来像是个很不错的交易 |
| [05:21] | Sha-bow! | 必须的！ |
| [05:22] | And I must say that since we are a family business, | 我不得不提，因为我们是家族企业 |
| [05:25] | it’s nice to see that you are, too. | 很高兴看到你们也跟我们一样 |
| [05:27] | Oh! | |
| [05:28] | Wow. You thought that… | 呃，你以为… |
| [05:32] | Oh, my gosh. Definitely not. | –天哪，这绝不可能 |
| [05:34] | My mistake. I’m sorry. | –我弄错了，抱歉 |
| [05:36] | It’s okay. | –没关系 |
| [05:37] | Nah, actually, it’s kind of not okay. | –其实，还是有一点关系 |
| [05:41] | I date models. Face models. | 我一般会找模特，靠脸吃饭的那种 |
| [05:44] | My girlfriend, on a scale of one-to-Gisele, | 我的女朋友跟名模吉赛尔相比 |
| [05:50] | a nine. | –也差不多九分像 |
| [05:51] | That’s good for you. | –那挺好的 |
| [05:52] | Anyway, we also have a special on envelopes… | 言归正传，我们的信封也有折扣… |
| [05:54] | Pam’s carrying our surrogate | 潘是我们的代孕妈妈 |
| [05:57] | because my girlfriend needed to keep her figure for Fashion Week. | 因为我的女朋友要保持身材参加时尚周 |
| [06:02] | So, we put our baby in Pam. | 所以我们找潘来代孕，她的长相不太重要 |
| [06:04] | It doesn’t matter what Pam looks like. | |
| [06:07] | Yeah. | |
| [06:08] | You were way meaner to me than I was to you. | 你对我比我对你要恶毒多了 |
| [06:11] | No, I wasn’t, okay? | 才没有，好吧？你听别人说我们是一对的时候 |
| [06:12] | The very idea of us together made you burst out laughing | |
| [06:15] | like you just bit into an Adam Sandler and jelly sandwich. | 笑成那个样子，好像我是世界上最大的笑话 |
| [06:18] | You blew the sale, you idiot! | –你把生意搞黄了，你个白痴！ |
| [06:21] | Let me tell you something. | –实话跟你说 |
| [06:23] | I was never going to make that sale. | 我本来就没想做那单生意 |
| [06:26] | Erin, do we have any of those clips that hold paper together? | 艾琳，你有那种夹纸的回形针吗？ |
| [06:29] | Staples? | 订书钉？ |
| [06:32] | David Wallace called. | –大卫华莱士刚打电话来了 |
| [06:34] | Oh, he did? What did he say? | –是吗？他说什么？ |
| [06:35] | He heard you made a big splash at the meeting. | 他听说你在会面的时候激起了一大片水花 |
| [06:37] | Oh, my God, that was so mean what I just said, and I didn’t mean it. | 这样说太刻薄了，不是我的本意 |
| [06:40] | It was Kevin and Meredith who put me up to it. | 是凯文和梅瑞狄斯怂恿我的 |
| [06:42] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [06:43] | I’m going to kill you. | –我要杀了你 |
| [06:45] | Michael, don’t listen to them. | –迈克尔，别理他们 |
| [06:47] | Thank you, Stanley. | 谢谢你，斯坦利 |
| [06:48] | You just ignore their carping. | –别管他们话里的刺 |
| [06:50] | Okay. | –好的 |
| [06:51] | Michael? Yes. | –迈克尔 –怎么 |
| [06:52] | A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. | 他说的刺也可以是鱼刺 |
| [06:55] | They’re mocking you with word play. | 他们在用双关词嘲弄你呢 |
| [06:56] | Hey, boss, did you find Nemo? | –老板，你找到尼莫了吗？ |
| [06:59] | I can name Pixar movies, too. | –皮克斯的动画片我也知道不少 |
| [07:01] | Toy Story. Don’t you mean Koi Story? | –玩具总动员 –什么？锦鲤总动员？ |
| [07:05] | And when you fell in, did you flounder? | 你掉下去的时候，针扎了吗？ |
| [07:08] | Michael, flounder is both a kind of a fish… | 迈克尔，他们在暗指你有没有被鱼刺扎… |
| [07:11] | I know what a flounder is. | 我知道针扎的意思 |
| [07:13] | Hey, Michael. No! No! | –嘿，迈克尔 –停！ |
| [07:14] | No more! That is it! | 停下！到此为止！ |
| [07:16] | Everybody in the conference room, right now! | 所有人立刻到会议室来！ |
| [07:18] | I’m not usually the butt of the joke. | 通常我不是被嘲笑的那个人 |
| [07:21] | I’m usually the face of the joke. | 一般是我嘲笑别人 |
| [07:25] | I wish Jim had fallen into that pond. | 真希望落水的是杰姆，然后他就得穿我的西服 |
| [07:27] | Then he’d have to put on my suit, | |
| [07:29] | and it would be too short, and he’d look… | 对他来说太短了，他会看起来… |
| [07:33] | Damn it, he’d still look good. | 该死，他还是看起来很帅 |
| [07:36] | The most fundamental thing about sensitivity training | 敏感培训最基本的就是 |
| [07:39] | is that you cannot make fun of a person for something or some action | 你不能因为某个东西或者某件别人做了 |
| [07:43] | that they have done that they regret. | 会后悔的事情来嘲笑别人 |
| [07:46] | You can only make fun of things that they have control over. | 你只能拿那些他们能控制的事情来开玩笑 |
| [07:50] | Like, Oscar is gay. That is his choice. | 比如说，奥斯卡是同性恋，那是他的选择 |
| [07:53] | We can make fun of that. I did not choose to fall into a koi pond. | 我们能拿这个开玩笑 |
| [07:58] | Michael, you still can’t make fun of people | 我没有要故意掉进锦鲤池 |
| [08:00] | for race or gender or sexual orientation or religion… | 迈克尔，你还是不能因为 种族或性别或性取向或宗教等原因取笑别人… |
| [08:03] | Who let the lemonhead into the room? | 谁让这个柠檬头进来的？ |
| [08:05] | You are a waste of life and you should give up. | 你简直就是扶不起的大肠，放弃吧 |
| [08:10] | Is what I want to say but I won’t, | 那是我想要说的话，但是我不会说 |
| [08:12] | because that is why we are doing this right now. | 因此我们现在才在这里开会 |
| [08:15] | So, Toby, welcome to sensitivity training for real. Show of hands. | 所以，托比，欢迎来到现实的敏感培训 |
| [08:19] | Who here has been koi-ponded? | 举个手，这里谁掉进过锦鲤池？ |
| [08:23] | Who here has been the butt of a joke that has gone too far? | 谁曾经被恶意的笑话中伤过？ |
| [08:27] | Phyllis. Michael, you make fun of us every day. | –菲丽丝 |
| [08:30] | Yeah. Every single day. | –迈克尔，你每天都在取笑我们 |
| [08:32] | You never said anything. | –对，每天都是 |
| [08:33] | We have. Countless times. | –你从来没说过什么 |
| [08:35] | Well, it is hard to tell the difference between you guys saying, | 我们说过无数次了 |
| [08:39] | “Stop, because I want you to stop,” | 我有的时候很难分辨 |
| [08:41] | or stop as in, “Stop, you’re making me laugh so hard. | 你们是真的要我别说 |
| [08:45] | “What you’re doing is so funny. You’re on a roll. | 还是因为太搞笑了而要我别说 “你说的太搞笑了，我真受不了 |
| [08:47] | “I am busting a gut. Stop!” | “要笑岔气了都，停下！” |
| [08:50] | That’s never been the case. | 后者从未发生过 |
| [08:52] | We are going to make | 我们要列个 |
| [08:54] | a Do Not Mock list. Okay? Anything that we think might be out of bounds, we put on this list. | “请勿嘲笑”的列表 |
| [09:06] | Anything you put on this list, you cannot be teased about. | 好吧？任何我们觉得过分的事情，都列出来 |
| [09:09] | Got it? | 一旦你放入了这个列表 |
| [09:10] | I’m going to kick it off. | 大家就不许嘲笑这一点，懂了没？ |
| [09:12] | Let’s see what I have to put on the list, right? | 我先开始 |
| [09:18] | Okay. | 看看我会写什么呢？对吧 |
| [09:19] | I also have fallen into the fountain at the Steamtown Mall. | （迈克尔，锦鲤池） |
| [09:23] | You fell into a second fountain? | 我还掉进过蒸汽城商场的喷泉池 |
| [09:27] | Can you kick me out of the meeting now? | 你掉进过水池两次？ |
| [09:29] | Go. Go. | –你能把我踢出会议室吗？ |
| [09:33] | Starting today, teasing will no longer be tolerated. | –走吧 |
| [09:37] | You mean there’s no teasing of any kind? | 今天开始，没人可以嘲笑别人 |
| [09:40] | No, no, no, just things that are on the list. That is the beauty of it. | 你是说，什么样的玩笑都不能开？ |
| [09:43] | Okay, who else? Who else? Dwight, come on. | 不，只是这个列表中的玩笑，这就是它的魅力之处 |
| [09:46] | I don’t want people making fun of my nose. | 好了，还有谁？德怀特，说一个 |
| [09:48] | Your nose? | 我不喜欢别人嘲笑我的鼻子 |
| [09:50] | It’s too small. | 你的鼻子？ |
| [09:51] | The geometric proportions of my face are perfect in every way but one. | 太小了 |
| [09:56] | My nose is too small. | 我五官的比例非常完美，除了一个地方 |
| [09:58] | I mean, it still works. I can smell things. | 我的鼻子太小了 |
| [10:00] | I just have to be a lot closer than most people. | 它还能用，我没有丧失嗅觉 |
| [10:04] | Oh, my. That is small. | 只是，我比大多数人都要离得更近 |
| [10:05] | Just write it down, please. | –天哪，真的很小 |
| [10:07] | Can you breathe okay? | –拜托快点写下来 |
| [10:08] | What keeps your glasses on? | –你呼吸没问题吗？ |
| [10:10] | Hey, it’s on the list, everybody. | –眼镜不会掉下来吧？ |
| [10:11] | No, I haven’t finished writing. | –嘿，各位，这个在列表里面呢 |
| [10:14] | Did you sneeze it off? That’s it. No more. Okay. | –不，我还没写完呢 是不是被你打喷嚏打小的？好了，就此打住 |
| [10:18] | Who else, who else? Everybody’s going to get their chance. | 还有谁？每个人都有机会 |
| [10:20] | I don’t want people making fun of my weight. | 我不想要别人笑话我的体重 |
| [10:23] | Okay, that’s too broad. It’s got to be something else. | 这太广泛了，得换一个 |
| [10:25] | How about your stomach? Yeah? | 写你的胃怎么样？ |
| [10:30] | Who else? I’m very sensitive about my petite figure. | （凯文，大胃王） |
| [10:33] | Oh, God. | 还有谁？ |
| [10:35] | I am. I’m afraid of being thrown around like a football. | 我很在意我的娇小身材 |
| [10:38] | Well, you know, Nicole Richie might think that you are fat. | 我的天 |
| [10:41] | Does that make you feel better? | 我说真的，我担心被像足球一样抛来抛去 |
| [10:43] | Meredith? | 妮可里奇可能会觉得你太胖了 这会让你感觉好些吗？ |
| [10:44] | I don’t want to say it out loud. | –梅瑞狄斯？ |
| [10:45] | Okay, fine. Come on up here, write it yourself. | –我不想大声说出来 |
| [10:48] | And don’t sign your name to it, and nobody look. | 好吧，那你自己上来写 |
| [10:52] | Everybody, look away, look away. | 不要写名字，大家不要偷看 |
| [10:55] | Well, I really didn’t want to put it on the board, | 大家看别处 |
| [10:57] | but I thought maybe it was going to come out somehow. | 我其实不想把它写在白板上 |
| [10:59] | So, what are you going to do? | 但是我觉得也许别人会提到 |
| [11:07] | Okay. | 我还能怎么办？ （与恐怖分子上床） |
| [11:08] | Some of you may have noticed | 好了 |
| [11:10] | I’m in that kind of ill-defined relationship type of thing. | 你们中也许有人已经注意到 我现在的感情生活有点乱 |
| [11:16] | Okay, what do you want me to write? | –好的，你想让我写什么？ |
| [11:18] | Just put Kelly. Aw! That still going on? | –写凯莉就好 |
| [11:21] | I will claw your tiny nose off. | –这事儿还没完？ |
| [11:22] | It’s on the list. | –我会把你的鼻子给揪下来 |
| [11:24] | Creed, your turn. | 它在列表里面 |
| [11:25] | If I write it down, I can’t be charged with it. | 克里德，到你了 如果我写的话，谁也不能因此起诉我 |
| [11:28] | No one said that. | 可没人说过这话 |
| [11:30] | That is our sales pitch, and we are sticking to it. | 这就是我们的销售提案，我们会坚持到底 |
| [11:34] | Well, you two are quite the salesmen, and a very cute couple. | 你们俩真是很能干的销售员，而且很登对 |
| [11:39] | Well, it’s… Oh… | 那个嘛… |
| [11:43] | Thank you. | Thank you. |
| [11:44] | Some couples don’t seem like a good match, but you two do. | –谢谢 |
| [11:48] | Well, you know. | –谢谢 有些夫妇看起来不怎么般配，但是你们很配 |
| [11:49] | Yeah, you know, two peas in a pod. | –可不是嘛 –对啊，简直天造地设 |
| [11:52] | We complete each other. | （凯娜吉福德） |
| [11:54] | What can I say? She loves to cook… | 我们让对方的生命更完整 |
| [11:56] | He loves to eat. | –怎么说呢？她喜欢煮菜… |
| [11:58] | I love to dance… | –他喜欢美食 |
| [11:59] | I love to watch him dance. | –我喜欢跳舞… |
| [12:00] | Yeah, right. Sometimes I’ll just dance for hours in the living room. | –我喜欢看他跳舞 |
| [12:03] | And I’ll watch him. | 是啊，有时候我会在客厅跳上好几个小时 |
| [12:05] | And a baby on the way? You must be so excited. | 然后我就这么看着他 |
| [12:08] | Mmm. Yes. | 宝宝快出生了吧？你们一定很激动 |
| [12:09] | Yeah, we are thrilled. Mmm-hmm. | –是的 |
| [12:12] | In fact, we spent the whole weekend | –我们非常兴奋 |
| [12:13] | researching various birthing coaches. Wasn’t that fun, honey? | 实际上，我们整个周末都在研究各种生育课程 |
| [12:17] | It was, sweetie. Yeah. | 很有趣对吧，亲爱的？ |
| [12:18] | Oh, I know the best teacher. Her name is Miss Janet. | –当然，宝贝 –是的 我认识一个最好的老师，珍妮特小姐 |
| [12:21] | Yeah, on Clearview Avenue. | –我知道，在克利尔维尤大道 |
| [12:22] | Yeah! | –没错！ |
| [12:23] | Yeah. | 我知道这说起来有点可笑 |
| [12:25] | This sounds ridiculous, I know, but some people say that I eat like a squirrel. | 不过有人说我吃东西就像松鼠 |
| [12:30] | So now you’re comparing yourself to a cute, tiny animal? Michael? Hmm? | 所以你现在把自己比喻成可爱的小动物？ |
| [12:36] | The custodian called again. Apparently a koi has died. | 迈克尔 |
| [12:39] | Oh, man! | 那个管理员又打电话来了，好像死了一条锦鲤 |
| [12:40] | It’s a fish. | –天哪！ |
| [12:42] | They want you to pay for it. | –只是条鱼而已 他们要让你赔 |
| [12:43] | It could have died of natural causes, though. | 也许是自然死亡呢 |
| [12:45] | Well, they said you stepped on its head. He did not suffer. When is the funeral? | 他们说你踩爆了他的头，死得毫无痛苦 |
| [12:52] | Do not mock, Oscar. Do not mock. | –葬礼什么时候举行？ |
| [12:54] | How much do they want? $300. | –不能嘲笑，奥斯卡，不能嘲笑 |
| [12:56] | What? No. I could get a fish for a five-cent worm. | –他们要多少？ |
| [13:00] | You’re paying way too much for worms, man. Who’s your worm guy? | –三百块 什么？不会吧，我用五分钱的蠕虫就能换条鱼 |
| [13:04] | Okay, great meeting, everybody. That’s it. No, no. | 你的蠕虫太贵了，哪里买的？ 好了，很棒的会议，谢谢各位，到此结束 |
| [13:07] | Thank you. No, we are not done here. This… | –别 –谢谢 别，我们还没结束，这个… |
| [13:13] | One of the baby books suggests | 有本育儿书建议书 |
| [13:14] | the best birthing posture is on all fours, like an animal. | 有本育儿书建议书 生产时最好四肢着地，就像动物那样 |
| [13:18] | I just wish I had a special telephone | 真希望有种特殊的电话 |
| [13:19] | so I could find out exactly what the little soybean wants. | 可以让我知道我的小宝贝需要什么 |
| [13:23] | Right? Hey, little soybean. What do you want? | 对吧？嘿，小宝宝，你想要什么？ |
| [13:26] | Right? How do… | 对吧？怎么… |
| [13:31] | I felt it kick. Oh, that’s great! | –我感到他动了 |
| [13:32] | Oh, my gosh, like a little magical foot just high-fived me. | –太棒了！ |
| [13:36] | Yeah, well, that’ll happen. | 天哪，就像是他用小脚脚跟我击了个掌 |
| [13:37] | Oh, my gosh. | –是啊，会发生的 –哦，我的天 |
| [13:39] | It’s like he’s trying to say, “I love you, too, Daddy. | 他好像在说：“我也爱你，爹地” |
| [13:42] | “I love you, too.” | “我也爱你” |
| [13:44] | Sometimes we’re so excited, we forget where we are. | 有时候我们会太激动而忘记场合 |
| [13:47] | Like at a business meeting. | 比如现在还在商谈呢 |
| [13:50] | Message received, little soybean. | 明白你的意思了，小宝贝 |
| [13:52] | I think you just got to ride this one out, man. | 我觉得这次你就认了吧，伙计 |
| [13:54] | No, Jim, you don’t understand. | 不，杰姆，你不明白，这种事会没完没了的 |
| [13:56] | Things like this just don’t die. Kids in high school still call me “Ponytail.” No, they don’t. | 高中同学们还会叫我“马尾辫” |
| [14:02] | Yes, they do, Jim. Because of the time | –不，他们没有 –有，他们就是这样，杰姆 |
| [14:05] | I got my ponytail stuck in the power drill. | 因为那时我的马尾辫被绞进机械钻头里了 |
| [14:07] | Maybe if you make fun of yourself, it’ll all go away. I want to make fun of you right now. | 也许你自嘲一下，大家就会忘记了 |
| [14:11] | Really? Do it. I am a big, stupid goofball. | –我现在就想嘲笑你 |
| [14:16] | No, don’t do that. You’re not stupid. | –真的吗？来吧，我是个大大的蠢蛋 |
| [14:20] | See? | 不，别这么说，你并不蠢 |
| [14:22] | Oh, my God. | 看到没？ |
| [14:24] | Hey, I just want to say that I cannot believe | 我的天哪 |
| [14:29] | that I walked into a koi pond. | 各位，我想说，我真是不敢相信 |
| [14:31] | I mean, seriously, walk much? | 我直接走进了那个锦鲤池 |
| [14:34] | Oh! | 真的，我就这样走进去 |
| [14:35] | I should wear a snorkel to the next business meeting that I go to. | 下次开会的时候，我应该穿上潜水服 |
| [14:38] | Michael, you know, when you think about it, it’s not all your fault. | 迈克尔，其实你仔细想想，并不全怪你 |
| [14:41] | I mean, who puts a koi pond in a lobby? | –谁会把锦鲤池建在大堂中间？ |
| [14:43] | Well, you know what? | –这么说的话 |
| [14:45] | You’re right, Phyllis, but I’ve been there before. | 你说得对，菲丽丝，但是我不是第一次去 |
| [14:48] | I’ve seen that pond. This is the thing, | 我见过那个池子，所以呢 |
| [14:51] | I am a world-class moron, is the problem. | –我本身是个世界级的白痴 |
| [14:53] | Michael, please stop it now. You’re embarrassing yourself. | –迈克尔，拜托，别说了 |
| [14:55] | It’s okay. We’re having fun. | –你这样很丢人 |
| [14:57] | It’s actually not the first time I’ve been embarrassed by a pond. | –没事的，挺有趣 其实这不是我第一次因为水池而丢人 |
| [15:01] | In high school, | 上高中的时候 |
| [15:02] | the girls volleyball team always used to throw me into the frozen lake. | 上高中的时候 女排队的姑娘们经常把我扔进结冰的湖里 连续四年都没落下 冻死我了都！不，还有更惨的 几周前，我去买新手机 我想要那种话费套餐… 你能设置无限通话的好友和家人的那种 然后店员问我：“你要设置哪五个人？” 我当时傻了，我自己也不知道 我想不出来，我的天，太丢人了 那实在是… 我连简的手机号都没有，我讨厌她 她不愿意给我，我说，“看来我真是很失败” 失败！ 太过了！老天！ 谢谢你全家，伙计！还有你那该死的建议 |
| [15:05] | Four years in a row. | |
| [15:09] | It was freezing! No, no, no. This is even worse. | |
| [15:14] | Couple of weeks ago, I went to get a new cell phone | |
| [15:16] | and I wanted one of those packages | |
| [15:18] | where you have the five, you know, | |
| [15:19] | the friends and family thing? | |
| [15:21] | And the guy was like, “Who are your five friends?” | |
| [15:23] | And I’m like… I didn’t even know. | |
| [15:26] | I couldn’t even think. Oh, my God, it was so embarrassing. | |
| [15:31] | That was so… | |
| [15:33] | I don’t even have Jan’s cell phone number, and I hate her. | |
| [15:37] | She won’t give it to me. I was like, “I guess I’m a loser.” | |
| [15:41] | A loser! | |
| [15:46] | Too far! God! | |
| [15:49] | Thanks a lot, man. Thanks for the advice. | |
| [16:02] | Enjoying your nut? | |
| [16:04] | Why? – Kevin. | 坚果好吃吗？ |
| [16:05] | I’m not mocking. | –怎么了？ –凯文 |
| [16:06] | I was just making an observation about her nut. | –怎么了？ |
| [16:09] | I was. | –凯文 我不是在嘲笑她，我只是观察她享受坚果的样子 |
| [16:11] | Hey, who wants to watch Michael’s pond dive? | 刚才是挺享受的 |
| [16:14] | My roommate’s friend is the night janitor over there. | 谁想看迈克尔掉进水池的那幕？ |
| [16:18] | He swiped the security tape for me, and he’s bringing it over. | 我室友的朋友是那里的夜间守卫 |
| [16:21] | Mmm. You know what? Maybe we should go easy on Michael, guys. | 他把摄像头录像偷了出来，马上就送过来 |
| [16:25] | You know, you watch that tape, | 不如大家都放过迈克尔吧，各位 |
| [16:26] | and you’re going to have to stay late for more sensitivity training, so. | 你看了那个录像 |
| [16:30] | We’ll stay late. Yeah. | 就得加班参加更多的敏感培训课程 |
| [16:33] | You are not a joke. | –我们愿意加班 –是啊 |
| [16:36] | I am. | –你不是个笑话 |
| [16:37] | You are smart. | –我就是 |
| [16:38] | Jim is smarter than me. | –你很聪明 –杰姆比我聪明 |
| [16:39] | You are handsome. Jim is more handsome. | –你很聪明 –杰姆比我聪明 |
| [16:41] | No, Jim is ugly. Please. I mean, I’d give anything for his nose. It’s true. | –你很帅 |
| [16:46] | The rest of him, God, he looks like Popeye’s wife. | –杰姆比我帅 不，杰姆很丑，拜托 |
| [16:49] | Wow, Wilma. | 不过说真的，我愿意付出所有换他的鼻子 而其他部分，老天，他看起来就像是大力水手的老婆 |
| [16:51] | See, that is funny. That is a joke. | 那是威尔玛 |
| [16:53] | I know jokes and you are not a joke. | 你看，那很搞笑，那是个笑话 |
| [16:57] | Her name’s not Wilma. | 我会说笑话，而你不是个笑话 |
| [16:59] | Stop making me laugh. | 她的名字不是威尔玛 |
| [17:02] | Well, that went pretty well. | 别再让我笑了 |
| [17:03] | Yeah, I guess. | –刚才挺顺利的 –我也觉得 |
| [17:04] | We got a maybe. It was our first maybe. | –刚才挺顺利的 –我也觉得 |
| [17:06] | Going by the Nard-Dog curve, I’d say we nailed it. | 她愿意考虑，这是第一个愿意考虑的 |
| [17:09] | If I’m being completely honest, | 根据本人的理论，我觉得我们拿下了订单 |
| [17:10] | I could have done without the belly kiss. | 说实话，你不亲我的肚子的话，也可以搞定订单 |
| [17:12] | You know what? I’m sorry, | |
| [17:13] | ’cause in that moment, I knew I was kissing your belly too much. | 好吧，我道歉 |
| [17:17] | Yeah, way too much. Yeah. | 因为那个时候，我也觉得我亲你的肚子太多次了 |
| [17:18] | I mean, what the hell was that? | –是，过多了 –对 |
| [17:20] | What the heck was that? | –刚才是怎么回事？ |
| [17:22] | When you cried. | –刚才怎么回事？ |
| [17:23] | Try “almost cried.” Okay? | –你还哭了 |
| [17:25] | I just got caught up in the fantasy. | –快哭了，没哭出来 |
| [17:27] | Your fantasy involves comparison shopping birthing classes? | 我只是陷入了幻想 |
| [17:31] | No. I know I’m going to go with Miss Janet. | 你的幻想还包括对比生育课程的价格？ |
| [17:34] | I just… I don’t know, it was fun to role-play, right? | 不，我会选择珍妮特小姐的课程 |
| [17:37] | Hmm. | 只是，角色扮演挺有趣的，不是吗？ |
| [17:38] | It was fun for me, having a wife and a little baby. | 我是乐在其中，有了妻子和未出生的宝宝 |
| [17:43] | I’m so sick of being single. Well, are you dating anyone? | –我真是不想再单身了 |
| [17:48] | What do you think of Erin? I mean, she’s kind of cool. | –那你有没有在追求谁？ |
| [17:53] | You think I can do better? | 你觉得艾琳怎么样？她看起来挺酷的 |
| [17:57] | Got to get my going out on. | 你觉得我该找个更好的？ |
| [18:00] | Hey, let’s watch this thing. | 看来得开始勾搭妹子们了 |
| [18:01] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, yeah. | –我们一起来看吧 |
| [18:03] | We’re not watching this. | –好的 |
| [18:04] | How can we not watch this? | –大家不要看 |
| [18:05] | What happened to “Do not mock”? | –为什么不要看？ |
| [18:07] | We’re not mocking, we’re watching. | –我们说好不嘲笑的 |
| [18:08] | That will inevitably lead to mocking, so. | –这不是嘲笑，这是观看 |
| [18:10] | Well, we’ll deal with it as it comes. | –这样肯定会导致嘲笑 |
| [18:12] | Is this the tape of me falling? | –到时候再说 |
| [18:13] | Yes, put the DVD in. Yep. | –这是我落水的录像吗？ –是的，把DVD放进去 |
| [18:14] | Open up QuickTime. It starts on its own. | –这是我落水的录像吗？ –是的，把DVD放进去 |
| [18:15] | No, use QuickTime, trust me, I’ve done this. | –打开播放器 –它会自动播放的 |
| [18:17] | Guys, Michael can’t handle this. | 使用播放器，相信我，这事儿我干过 |
| [18:20] | And as your boss, I’m saying, we’re not watching it. | 各位，迈克尔可受不了这个 |
| [18:22] | No, it’s okay, watch it. He can’t fire all of you. | 作为老板，我不许你们看 |
| [18:25] | What are you doing? | 没事，看吧，他又不能把你们都炒鱿鱼 |
| [18:26] | It’s all right. I can handle it. | –你在干什么？ |
| [18:27] | No. I am a grownup, Jim. | –没事的，我能接受 |
| [18:29] | It’s on. | –不 |
| [18:30] | There they come. | –我是成人了，杰姆 |
| [18:33] | Boom! | –开演了 |
| [18:34] | Oh! Did you see that? See what? | –他们来了 |
| [18:36] | Wait, why did you stop it? | –你们看到了吗？ –看到什么？ |
| [18:37] | Oscar, yes, you’re right to stop it. | 等等，为什么停下？ |
| [18:39] | Thank you, eject it. | 奥斯卡，你停下是对的，谢谢，把录像带取出来 |
| [18:40] | Jim, you let Michael fall in. | |
| [18:42] | Play it again. | –杰姆，是你让迈克尔落水的 |
| [18:47] | He purposefully leaned away and let you fall. | –再放一遍 |
| [18:50] | Oh, man! | 他故意闪开，让你掉了进去 |
| [18:55] | I think when I started to see you go in, I think I just froze. | 哪有！ |
| [18:58] | I don’t think you froze. | 主要是我看你进来，身体有点僵 |
| [19:03] | It’s a killer new dance move. | 没觉得你身体僵啊 |
| [19:07] | Do you want to talk in your office? | 那时我新发明的舞步 |
| [19:09] | No. | –要不要去你的办公室谈谈？ |
| [19:10] | I didn’t ask you. Would you like to talk? | –不 |
| [19:16] | Judas. | 我又没问你，你要不要谈谈？ |
| [19:18] | Jim is my enemy, but it turns out | 叛徒 |
| [19:20] | that Jim is also his own worst enemy. | 杰姆是我的敌人，结果他也是自己最大的敌人 |
| [19:22] | And the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so Jim is actually my friend. | 而敌人的敌人就是我的朋友 |
| [19:28] | But, because he is his own worst enemy, | 所以杰姆其实是我的朋友 |
| [19:31] | the enemy of my friend is my enemy, | 但是，由于他是他自己的敌人 |
| [19:33] | so actually Jim is my enemy. | 朋友的敌人是敌人 |
| [19:36] | But… | 所以实际上杰姆是我的敌人 |
| [19:37] | I should have grabbed you. I’m sorry. | 但是… |
| [19:41] | Look, I thought I could have done today’s sales call alone. | 我应该抓住你的，对不起 |
| [19:46] | I mean, I may never be as good a salesman as you are, | 我以为我今天可以自己搞定拜访客户 |
| [19:48] | but I at least need the chance to do the job. | 我是说，也许我无法成为你这样优秀的销售员 |
| [19:52] | Jim is jealous of me? | 但是至少要给我这个机会 |
| [19:57] | Jim is jealous of me. | 杰姆妒忌我？ |
| [20:03] | Hey, what’s up, lifeguard? | 杰姆在妒忌我 |
| [20:05] | Jim, I think I’m in your way. | –怎么了，救生员？ |
| [20:14] | Oscar’s a douche. | –杰姆，我好像挡你的路了 |
| [20:18] | He’s all right. No. | 奥斯卡是个笨蛋 |
| [20:20] | He’s… Yeah, he’s all right. | –没关系 |
| [20:25] | Okay. | –不，他…挺好的 |
| [20:30] | Thanks, Michael. You’re welcome. | 好了 |
| [20:32] | Whoa! Almost fell. | –谢谢，迈克尔 |
| [20:40] | Hey, Erin, do you mind faxing this for me? Oh, sure. | –不客气 |
| [20:43] | Wait, hand them to me upside down, | 差点跌倒 嘿，艾琳，你能帮我把这个传真发出去吗？ |
| [20:45] | so I don’t accidentally read them. | 当然，等下，翻过来递给我 |
| [20:48] | Okay. Thanks. Mmm-hmm. | 这样我就不会不小心看到内容了 |
| [20:50] | How did today go, by the way? Did you make any sales? | –好吧 |
| [20:53] | No, it was a total waste of time. | –谢谢 |
| [20:59] | It was fun, though, | 顺便问下，今天顺利吗？有谈成生意吗？ 不，完全是浪费时间 |
| [21:00] | because I got to spend the day | 但是挺好玩的 |
| [21:01] | with Andy Bernard and he’s really cool. | 因为我今天一直跟安迪伯纳德在一起，他很酷 |
| [21:04] | Yeah, he is. | |
| [21:05] | Yeah, he is. | |
| [21:07] | He’s like the coolest person I’ve ever met. | –是的 –确实 |
| [21:09] | That’s right. | 他是我见过的最酷的人 |
| [21:12] | He’s like Marlon Brando. | 真的啊 |
| [21:17] | Oh, do you mean Marlon Wayans? ‘Cause he is. | 他就像是马龙白兰度 |
| [21:21] | I actually do mean Marlon Wayans. Yeah. | 你说的是马龙韦恩斯吧？简直一模一样 对，我就是说马龙韦恩斯 |