| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:40] | You’re falling behind. | 你晚了 |
| [00:48] | Wuphf.com. | Wuphf网站 |
| [00:49] | Ryan, we’re doing a dance… This is how you build a business. | –莱恩 我们在拍舞蹈剧… –生意就是这么做的 |
| [00:51] | We’re doing a dance. | –我们在拍舞蹈剧 |
| [00:52] | This is how you make it in this country. | –这个国家东西就是这么造出来的 （没人） |
| [01:16] | Find out… You got Creed. | –搞清楚… –我是克里德 |
| [01:17] | You jump in front of them. | –你跳到他们前面 |
| [01:18] | You make it so hard to love you sometimes. | –有时候想不讨厌你 真是很艰难 |
| [01:21] | Still behind. | –还是没跟上 |
| [01:22] | I’ll take these. | –我拿走这些 |
| [01:23] | I said I didn’t want to be on the Internet! | 我说过我不想出现在网络上！ |
| [01:26] | Go, go, go, go! | 上！ |
| [01:42] | Streamers! | 彩条！ |
| [01:50] | Dwight! | –德怀特！ |
| [01:51] | Dwight, you got to be kidding me! | –德怀特 你开玩笑吧！ |
| [01:52] | Are you crazy? | 你疯了吧？ |
| [02:15] | Toby, how did we do? | 托比 我们表现如何？ |
| [02:17] | Well, that was better. | 有进步 |
| [02:19] | We did it! Yes! | 我们做到了！耶！ （斯克兰顿 欢迎您） （敦德 米福林） 办公室 |
| [03:01] | I suppose summer had to end sometime. | 看来夏天总是要结束的 |
| [03:05] | It’s sad, though, because I had a great summer. | 虽然让人很难过 因为我这个夏天过得很棒 |
| [03:08] | I got West Nile virus. Lost a ton of weight. | 我感染上了西尼罗病毒 瘦了很多 |
| [03:11] | Then I went back to the lake. | 然后我回到湖边 |
| [03:13] | I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, | 在停车场踩到一块碎玻璃 |
| [03:16] | which hurt. | 疼死了 |
| [03:18] | That got infected, even though I peed on it. | 虽然我在上面撒了尿 还是感染了 |
| [03:22] | Saw Inception. | 看了《盗梦空间》 |
| [03:25] | Or at least I dreamt I did. | 至少在梦中我看了 |
| [03:28] | Broccoli Rob, obviously, will be there. | –西兰花罗布很显然会去 |
| [03:30] | Yes, of course. | –当然了 |
| [03:31] | And J.C. We call him Blorville, | 还有JC 我们叫他波尔维尔 |
| [03:34] | because he looks like a black Orville Redenbacher. | 因为他长得像黑人版的 奥维尔雷登巴赫尔 |
| [03:36] | Who’s the guy who invented the peanut? | 是那个发明了花生的人吗？ |
| [03:38] | Hey, guys. Hey! | –你们好啊 –嘿！ |
| [03:40] | Hi. Hi. | 嗨 |
| [03:41] | Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt. | –不好意思 |
| [03:42] | Not at all. | 打断你们了 –没关系 |
| [03:44] | I’m gonna head back to Siberia there. | 我要回西伯利亚去了 |
| [03:51] | I started dating Erin this summer. | 我今年夏天开始和艾琳约会的 |
| [03:53] | It has been, in a word, exquisite. | 总的说来 非常美妙 |
| [03:57] | Gabe is awesome. | 盖比很不错 |
| [03:59] | He has accomplished so much career-wise and height-wise. | 他工作上成就很高 个子也高 |
| [04:04] | Thank God he’s my boss | 谢天谢地 他是我上司 |
| [04:06] | because I would not have said yes | 因为我要不是觉得没办法拒绝 |
| [04:08] | to a first date if I didn’t have to. | 当初是不会答应他第一次出去约会的 |
| [04:10] | But, it’s been great. | 但是 一切很好 |
| [04:13] | Am I angry that Gabe stole my girlfriend over the summer? | 对于盖比夏天抢走了我的女朋友 我是不是生气？ |
| [04:16] | No. | 不 |
| [04:17] | I’ve been through anger management, okay? | 我学过怎么处理愤怒的情绪 好吗？ |
| [04:21] | So right now I am sitting on a nice beach at Cape Cod, | 所以现在我的心情就仿佛在科德角的海滩 |
| [04:25] | gazing out across the whitecaps. | 静静地凝视着海浪激起的泡沫 |
| [04:28] | Oh, look, it’s a humpback whale. | 看 那边有一只驼背鲸 |
| [04:31] | How pretty. | 真漂亮 |
| [04:34] | He’s eating Gabe. | 它在吃盖比 |
| [04:41] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [04:43] | What are you doing? | 你在做什么？ |
| [04:44] | From now on, if you’re hot, sit on an ice pack. | 从现在开始 你觉得热的话 找个冰袋坐在上面 |
| [04:46] | Well, what if you’re cold? | 那你觉得冷呢？ |
| [04:48] | Like you’d ever be cold, Kevin. | 凯文 说得好像你什么时候觉得冷一样 |
| [04:51] | Stop asking me hypothetical questions. | 别问我假设性的问题 |
| [04:53] | I’m too busy. | 我忙得很 |
| [04:54] | Hey, Dwight, I don’t know if you heard, | 嘿 德怀特 不知道你听说没有 |
| [04:56] | but we’re supposed to be drinking out of weird backpacks | 但我们应该用奇怪的背包装东西来喝 |
| [04:58] | instead of cups, like regular people. Oh, you did hear. | 而不是像普通人一样用杯子喝 你听到了的 |
| [05:01] | Jim, you have one job to do and you do it forgettably. | 杰姆 你只有一份工作 还做得那么烂 |
| [05:04] | Those of us who are busy require hands-free hydration. | 我们这些大忙人喝东西的时候不能占用手 |
| [05:06] | Dwight Schrute, star salesman, beet farmer. | 德怀特舒特 销售明星 种甜菜的农民 |
| [05:09] | Bed and breakfast proprietor. Aspiring freelance bodyguard. | 经营着民宿 想要做自由职业者保安 |
| [05:12] | Add to that list, owner of this building. | 也想做这栋楼的所有者 |
| [05:17] | Then burn the list. | 然后烧掉自己的愿望清单 |
| [05:21] | This summer I did the Minority Executive Training program at Yale. | 这个夏天我参加了 耶鲁大学开办的 面向白人以外员工的管理培训计划 |
| [05:25] | You guys, I’m, like, really smart now. | 我现在聪明得很了 |
| [05:26] | You don’t even know. You could ask me, | 你都不知道我有多聪明 你可以问我 |
| [05:28] | “Kelly, what’s the biggest company in the world?” | “凯莉 世界上最大的公司是哪家？” |
| [05:30] | And I’d be, like, “Blah, blah, blah, | 我会说“这个 |
| [05:32] | “blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,” | 那个…” |
| [05:34] | giving you the exact right answer. | 给你的就是正确答案 |
| [05:36] | Coffee monkey’s arrived. | 买咖啡的伙计来了 |
| [05:38] | I thought the coffee was supposed to be here at 9:00. | 我还以为咖啡应该九点准时到的 |
| [05:41] | Here you go, Big O. | 这是你的 奥奥 |
| [05:45] | Tiny. | 你要的“超小”杯 |
| [05:47] | Darryl Hanah. | 达瑞尔汉纳 |
| [05:51] | This says “decaf.” You got me decaf? | 写着不含咖啡因 你给我买的这个？ |
| [05:54] | Ooh, yeah. Must have been some sort of mix-up there. | 对 肯定是什么地方搞错了 |
| [06:00] | You cool to just drink it, or should I drive all the way back? | 你凑合喝了还是我开车回去一趟？ |
| [06:07] | Well, summer, I blew out my knee playing softball. | 这个夏天 我打垒球的时候伤了膝盖 |
| [06:11] | Ended up watching CNN most of the time. | 大部分时候都看CNN度过了 |
| [06:14] | I don’t know how we’re gonna get out of Afghanistan. | 我不知道我们如何能从阿富汗抽身 |
| [06:16] | I hate the new assistant. | 我讨厌新助理 |
| [06:18] | He’s only been here for a week and I hate him. | 他刚来一个星期而已 但是我讨厌他 |
| [06:21] | The new guy sucks. Calls me “The Nard man.” | 新来的最差了 他叫我“差劲先生” |
| [06:24] | I’m the “Nard dog,” okay? Nard man is my father. | 我是“差劲小子”好吗？ 差劲先生是我父亲 |
| [06:27] | My name is Luke Cooper. | 我叫卢克库珀 |
| [06:29] | I love cinema. | 我喜欢看电影 |
| [06:31] | My favorite movies are Citizen Kane and The Boondock Saints. | 我最爱的电影是《公民凯恩》 和《处刑人》 |
| [06:35] | That kid is the worst. Needs to be fired, Michael. | 那个孩子史上最差 应该被解雇 迈克尔 |
| [06:39] | He’s not the worst. Okay? | He’s not the worst. 他不是最差劲的 好吗？不是 |
| [06:42] | You know who’s the worst? | 你知道谁是最差的？ |
| [06:43] | That intern we had a few years ago. That guy. | 几年前在这里实习那个 那小子 |
| [06:45] | Remember? | 记得吗？ |
| [06:47] | That face, how ugly he was? | 那张脸 丑成那样 |
| [06:48] | He was the worst. Good worker, though. | 他才是最差的 |
| [06:51] | Mmm! | 虽然是个好员工 |
| [06:53] | It’s not cappuccino. | –不是卡普奇诺 |
| [06:54] | He messed yours up, too. | –你的咖啡也买错了 |
| [06:55] | He’s got to go, Mike. | 迈克 不能让他留下 |
| [06:57] | It’s just coffee, guys. | 伙计们 只是咖啡而已 |
| [06:58] | But, yeah, I’ll look into it, okay? | 但是 好吧 我想想办法 好吗？ |
| [07:04] | Wow, that’s a lot of keys. | 哇 好多钥匙啊 |
| [07:06] | The bigger the key chain, the more powerful the man. | 钥匙链越大 人就越有权势 |
| [07:07] | That’s right. The janitor said that. | 没错 门卫就这么说 |
| [07:09] | By the way, the raccoons are back. | –对了 |
| [07:11] | Where? | 浣熊回来了 –在哪里？ |
| [07:12] | I think they run through these panels and then down under the map. | 我觉得它们在天花板上乱跑 然后下到地图下面 |
| [07:15] | I wouldn’t know for sure ’cause I don’t have a trained ear. | 我也不确定 因为我的耳朵没受过专业培训 |
| [07:17] | That’s why I have to use one of these. | 所以我才需要用这个 |
| [07:20] | Give me that. Yep. | –给我 –好 |
| [07:22] | Wait. And this. | 等等 还有这个 |
| [07:24] | Yes. Go get ’em. | –没错 –去抓它们吧 |
| [07:26] | What happened to me this summer? | 我这个夏天过得如何？ |
| [07:28] | Dwight bought the building, | 德怀特买下了这栋楼 |
| [07:29] | so, actually, this has been the busiest summer of my life. | 所以 这个夏天是我人生中最忙碌的一次 |
| [07:46] | Hey, what’s so funny over here? | 嘿 那边什么那么好笑？ |
| [07:50] | Ha! Very nice. Give me my keys. | 很好 |
| [07:58] | Ha! Ha! | 把钥匙给我 |
| [08:00] | Not funny, Jim! | 玩笑可不能这么开 杰姆！ |
| [08:05] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [08:07] | Oh, no. Don’t worry about it. | 没关系 |
| [08:08] | I was just gonna put a couple keys on every day until Christmas. | 我本来打算从现在到圣诞节 每天都往上面加几把钥匙 |
| [08:11] | Then his pants would have fallen down, | 他的裤子都会被坠下来 |
| [08:13] | which was a little gift to me, but… | 算是给我的小礼物 但是… |
| [08:14] | It was really funny. | 太搞笑了 |
| [08:15] | Well, it would have been. | 本来会更好笑的 |
| [08:18] | So unprofessional, Mrs. Halpert. | 太不专业了 哈尔佩特夫人 |
| [08:22] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [08:24] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [08:26] | Luke. | 卢克 |
| [08:28] | Luke! | 卢克！ |
| [08:30] | What’s up, Venus? | 怎么了 维纳斯？ |
| [08:31] | Did you send those samples to Justin at Lehigh Motors yesterday? | 你昨天给利海电机的贾斯丁发样品了吗？ |
| [08:34] | Because he didn’t get them. | 因为他说他没收到 |
| [08:36] | Uh, if you asked me to do it, I’m sure I did it. | 如果你让我发了 那我肯定是发了 |
| [08:41] | Yeah, strawberries are ripe. | 真好 草莓熟了 |
| [08:42] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [08:43] | Turn off the Chumbawamba and scram, twerp. | 把音乐关了 赶紧干活 傻小子 |
| [08:46] | All right. You don’t have to yell. | 知道了 没必要大喊大叫的 |
| [08:48] | Okay, rude. | 好了 太没有礼貌了 |
| [08:50] | Luke, | 卢克 |
| [08:52] | I want you to go to the supermarket for me. | 我要你帮我去一趟超市 |
| [08:55] | What for? | 干嘛？ |
| [08:56] | To get some ice cream for everybody. | 为大家买点冰淇淋 |
| [08:58] | It’s national ice cream afternoon. | 今天下午全国都吃冰淇淋 |
| [09:01] | Great. | 太好了 |
| [09:03] | And another thing I did this summer, | 我今年夏天做的另外一件事情 |
| [09:07] | I hired my nephew. | 是雇佣了我的侄子 |
| [09:11] | Having Luke here is a pretty big deal for me. | 让卢克来这里工作对我来说意义非凡 |
| [09:14] | Because his mother, | 因为他母亲 |
| [09:16] | who also happens to be my half sister, | 也是我半个姐姐 |
| [09:19] | kind of cut me off from that side of the family 15 years ago… | 15年前差不多单边和我断绝了关系… |
| [09:22] | Fourteen. | 14年 |
| [09:25] | The last time I saw Luke was the opening day of Ace Ventura II, | 上次我见到卢克还是 《神探飞机头2》首映那天 |
| [09:29] | and that was ’95. | 那是1995年了 |
| [09:30] | So, yes, 15 years on the dot. | 所以没错 是整整15年 |
| [09:36] | Anyway, I lost him in a forest. | 那什么 我在树林里把他弄丢了 |
| [09:39] | “Don’t bother Luke.” | “别去烦卢克” |
| [09:41] | Why is there a circle with a line through it? | 为什么圈起来还划掉了？ |
| [09:43] | That means don’t. | 意思是不要 |
| [09:44] | Haven’t you seen Ghost Busters, Pam? | 潘 你没看过《捉鬼敢死队》吗？ |
| [09:46] | Yeah, but it’s like you’re saying we should bother Luke. | 看过 但这样好像意思是 我们应该去烦卢克 |
| [09:49] | No, it… | 不 这个… |
| [09:51] | Yes, okay. Right. All right, yep. My bad. | 对 好吧 我的错 |
| [09:55] | I got it. | 我改掉 |
| [09:57] | Here we go. | 好了 |
| [10:00] | Don’t don’t bother Luke. Got it. | 不要不去烦卢克 明白了 |
| [10:03] | Come on. Okay. | 拜托 好吧 |
| [10:10] | That’s as clear as I can make it. | 这样再清楚不过了 |
| [10:12] | Hey, why can’t we bother Luke? He deserves it. | 我们为什么不能去烦卢克？ 这不是理所应当的吗？ |
| [10:14] | Because I don’t want it getting back to Sabre | 因为我不想消息传到萨布尔那边 |
| [10:16] | that we’re yelling at assistants. | 说我们对助理大喊大叫 |
| [10:17] | I think it would reflect poorly on us. | 我觉得这样对我们影响不好 |
| [10:19] | Who’s gonna tell on us? Gabe? | 谁会告密？盖比？ |
| [10:22] | That’d be hilarious. | 真那样的话 很好笑 |
| [10:23] | “Jo, they’re creating a hostile work environment. Stop them.” | “乔 他们在营造一种恶劣的工作氛围 阻止他们” |
| [10:27] | Nope, it won’t be Gabe. | 不 盖比不会这样的 |
| [10:28] | But, actually, there is somebody in the office | 但实际上办公室里有一个人关系和卢克 |
| [10:30] | who is very, very close to Luke. | 非常亲近 |
| [10:31] | How close? | –有多亲近？ |
| [10:33] | Well, Dwight, he wiped his butt. | –德怀特 他给他擦过屁股 |
| [10:34] | Is that close enough for you? | 你觉得够亲近了吗？ |
| [10:36] | Yes. Of course. | 当然了 |
| [10:38] | Guys, I think Michael and Luke are related. | 伙计们 我觉得迈克尔和卢克是亲戚 |
| [10:41] | No. | 不 |
| [10:42] | No, Toby. He’s not. | 不 托比 不是的 |
| [10:45] | Yes, he is. He’s my nephew. | 是的 他是我的侄子 |
| [10:47] | What? | What? –什么？ –什么？ |
| [10:49] | Luke is my nephew. | –卢克是我侄子 |
| [10:50] | Michael, that’s nepotism. | –迈克尔 这是裙带关系 |
| [10:52] | Luke is getting special treatment because he’s your nephew. | 卢克是你的侄子 所以受到特殊待遇 |
| [10:54] | Yes, exactly. That is a very nice way of putting it, Oscar. | 没错 奥斯卡 你这么说算是很客气了 |
| [10:57] | Mixing family and business is a beautiful thing. | 把公事和家人扯在一起是非常美好的 |
| [11:01] | What’s wrong with a level playing field? | 为什么不能有一个公平的竞技场？ |
| [11:03] | Do you think they should have had open auditions | 你们是不是觉得汉森乐队应该召开 |
| [11:05] | for the band Hanson? | 面向公众的海选？ |
| [11:07] | What if no one named Hanson showed up? | 如果没有叫汉森的人出现呢？ |
| [11:10] | That wouldn’t even make sense. | 这样将都讲不通了 |
| [11:11] | Or what if they just hired the littlest kid and a 50-year-old guy | 或者他们挑上了最小的孩子 加上一个五十岁的老头 |
| [11:17] | who was a murderer? | 而且还是个杀人犯？ |
| [11:19] | Really safe. | 非常安全 |
| [11:20] | Oh, man, so many points being made. | 天哪 说得太有道理了 |
| [11:23] | I couldn’t care less about nepotism. | 我才不管什么裙带关系呢 |
| [11:25] | But I’m loving the debate. | 但我很喜欢这场辩论 |
| [11:27] | Great minds battling it out. | 一群聪明的人争论不休 |
| [11:29] | And I’ve got a front row seat. | 我在前排观看 |
| [11:32] | God, when he needed help on earth, who did he hire? | 圣父 在自己需要帮助的时候 找的是谁？ |
| [11:35] | Jesus Christ, his son. | 耶稣基督 他的儿子 |
| [11:36] | That’s a really tight argument. | 论证真严密 |
| [11:37] | Thank you. Yeah. | –谢谢 –对 |
| [11:39] | But you’re comparing you and Luke to God and Jesus. | 但是你把你和卢克比作圣父和耶稣基督 |
| [11:41] | No. No. | 不 |
| [11:42] | I’m just saying, why does God get to do something that I don’t? | 我只是想说 为什么圣父可以做的事情 我却不能做呢？ |
| [11:46] | This is hypothetical. | 这只是假设而已 |
| [11:47] | We’re talking about Luke, who happens to be terrible. | 但问题是卢克表现太差了 |
| [11:49] | Well, then, why aren’t you bugging me to fire everybody who’s bad? | 那你为什么不来纠缠着我 让我解雇掉所有表现差的人？ |
| [11:52] | You just want me to fire Luke. That’s reverse nepotism. | 你只想我解雇卢克 这是反裙带关系 |
| [11:55] | He should not be punished because he is related to me | 他不应该因为是我的亲戚 |
| [11:58] | and bad at what he does! | 工作表现又差受到惩罚！ |
| [11:59] | I would just like to say something off of what Darryl said | 我只是想从达瑞尔说的公平竞技场 |
| [12:02] | about the level playing field. | 引申一下 |
| [12:03] | That is actually a zoning issue. | 那实际上是个分区问题 |
| [12:09] | So, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [12:12] | If there’s nothing wrong with this, Michael, | 迈克尔 如果这么做没什么错 |
| [12:13] | why have you been keeping it a secret? | 你为什么一直保密？ |
| [12:15] | Because I wanted you to come to me and say, “Wow, he is so great.” | 因为我想你们来找我告诉我说 “哇 他太棒了” |
| [12:19] | And I was gonna say, “Well, it’s in the genes.” | 我就可以说“都是基因好” |
| [12:22] | And I was actually gonna be wearing jeans. | 而且我想象中我会穿着牛仔裤 |
| [12:24] | And I’d point to them, right? | 我还会指着裤子说 好吧？ |
| [12:25] | No. ‘Cause you ruined it. | 不 因为你们把这个时刻毁了 |
| [12:27] | So, thank you very much. | 所以 真是太感谢了 |
| [12:29] | Here he comes. Guys, look. | 他来了 大家伙 听着 |
| [12:32] | I don’t want you to treat him like anyone else in the office. | 我不想你们把他当作普通人对待 |
| [12:36] | I just want you to treat him like my nephew. | 我希望你们把他当作我的侄子对待 |
| [12:38] | – Hey, there he is. – Hey! | –嘿 他来了 –嘿！ |
| [12:40] | There he is! Ice cream afternoon! | –他来了！ –有冰淇淋吃的下午！ |
| [12:43] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [12:45] | Soy ice cream? Did you get real ice cream? | 豆奶冰淇淋？你就不能买真正的冰淇淋吗？ |
| [12:48] | Or enough for everyone? | 就不能买够大家吃的吗？ |
| [12:50] | No, man. There was no list. | 不行 伙计 没给我购物清单 |
| [12:52] | But I got bagel chips. | 但我买了百吉果干片 |
| [12:54] | Oh, my favorite part of an ice cream party. The bagel chips. | 冰淇淋派对里我的最爱 就是百吉果干片了 |
| [12:57] | Clutch cream run, bro. | 表现真是出色啊 兄弟 |
| [13:03] | Get whatever you want. On me. | 你随便挑 我请客 |
| [13:05] | You really think you can make it up to me with food? | 你真觉得你可以用吃的来补偿我？ |
| [13:07] | I don’t know. That usually works. | 不知道 不过一般挺有用的 |
| [13:09] | I feel horrible for blowing Jim’s prank. | 我搞砸了杰姆的恶作剧 感觉非常自责 |
| [13:12] | I don’t know if you can tell, but he’s mildly upset. | 我不知道你是不是看得出来 但是他有点不高兴 |
| [13:15] | And Dwight hasn’t been messed with in a while, | 很有没人开德怀特的玩笑了 |
| [13:16] | so he’s become a monster. | 所以他变成了一个小恶魔 |
| [13:18] | I need to make this right. | 我得想办法弥补 |
| [13:29] | I came down here to feed the feral cats like I usually do, | 我像往常一样下来喂野猫 |
| [13:31] | and I found something unsavory in the back of your nephew’s car. | 在你侄子的车子后面 发现了一点不干净的东西 |
| [13:34] | Okay, you know what? Just… Just back off. Back off! | 你知道吗？你们都…都走开！ |
| [13:37] | Well, take a look. It’s all the packages he was supposed to overnight. | 你自己看看 是昨晚他应该发出去的包裹 |
| [13:40] | He never bothered to send them. | 他就懒得去发 |
| [13:43] | All right, those might be his. | 好吧 但可能是他自己的 |
| [13:46] | He might own an eBay Store. | 他也许在易趣上开了网店 |
| [13:47] | Yep. That’s exactly what my first thought was. | 对 我一开始也这么觉得 |
| [13:49] | And then I remembered having a conversation with him | 然后我想起来和他的对话 |
| [13:51] | where he was like, “I don’t own an eBay Store.” So… | 他说“我没在易趣上开网店”所以… |
| [13:53] | Okay, okay. You know what? This is disgusting. | 好吧 我跟你们说 这太让人恶心了 |
| [13:55] | This is like a witch hunt. | 你们这是捕风捉影 |
| [13:56] | This is like The Blair Witch Hunt Project. | 好像《女巫布莱尔》里那样 |
| [13:58] | I’m sure those are the expense reports | 我很确定这事集团昨天就要的 |
| [14:00] | that corporate was waiting for yesterday. | 报销单 |
| [14:02] | They are not. Let’s just make this kid open his damn car. | –不是 –我们让这小子 把车子打开 |
| [14:04] | Oh, my gosh, those are the pants you wanted to return to Talbots. | 天哪 这些是你想退回 塔伯兹的裤子 |
| [14:06] | I’m reconsidering sending them back anyway. | 我恰好在考虑到底要不要退回去 |
| [14:08] | You get that kid to open this car, | 你赶紧让他打开车门 |
| [14:11] | or I’m gonna do it myself | 不然我就动手了 |
| [14:13] | by calling AAA. | 我打给认证授权记账部门 |
| [14:15] | Wait a minute. I’m in. | –等等 –我打开了 |
| [14:16] | Don’t… All right. | 别…好吧 |
| [14:18] | Well, okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:20] | You’ve just committed a felony. | 你们刚刚犯下了重罪 |
| [14:22] | Yep, here they are. | 没错 就在这里 |
| [14:23] | Yep, I just lost a client ’cause I swore I sent these samples on time. | 没错 我向客户保证按时发样品 但是没发出 丢了客户 |
| [14:27] | This kid’s costing us sales, Michael. | 迈克尔 这孩子让我们失去销售业绩 |
| [14:30] | I’m sorry, do you want to try them on again to see… | 不好意思 你还想再试试看… |
| [14:32] | No, I know they fit. It’s not about the fit. | 不 我知道合身的 不是尺寸问题 |
| [14:38] | Why is this my problem, Michael? | 迈克尔 这为什么是我的问题？ |
| [14:40] | Because Gabe tattled. | 因为盖比告密了 |
| [14:41] | I was perfectly happy to just hide it from you. | 我本来很开心地瞒着你的 |
| [14:44] | Those overnight packages needed to go out, | 那些夕发朝至的包裹需要及时发出的 |
| [14:46] | and Michael refuses to hold the guilty party accountable. | 迈克尔拒绝让责任人负责 |
| [14:48] | Lower yourself, Gabe. | 盖比 弯下腰来 |
| [14:49] | I don’t wanna be having a conversation with your crotch. | 我不想和你的裤裆对话 |
| [14:54] | Okay, now educate me why you won’t fire the boy. | 好了 你给我解释一下 为什么不想解雇这个孩子 |
| [14:57] | You don’t have all the facts. | 你没有掌握所有信息 |
| [14:59] | Which are? I love him. | –什么信息？ –我爱他 |
| [15:01] | Oh, God. How far has it gone? | 噢 天哪 这事到底进展到什么地步了？ |
| [15:06] | No. No. He’s my nephew. | 不 他是我侄子 |
| [15:09] | Well, I got a nephew, too, but he don’t work for me. | 我也有侄子 但不在我手下工作 |
| [15:11] | You know why? ‘Cause he’s a screw-up. | 你知道为什么嘛？因为他很差劲 |
| [15:14] | He can swim in my pool, but he can’t come in my house. | 他可以在我的泳池里游泳 但不能进我家来 |
| [15:17] | Well, this office is my pool and my house is my house, | 这个办公室是我的游泳池 我的家就是我的家 |
| [15:21] | and I just want my nephew to work in my pool. | 我只是想让我侄子在我的泳池里工作 |
| [15:24] | If you keep him, Michael, I’m gonna hold you accountable for him. | 如果你让他留下 迈克尔 你就得对他的行为负起责任 |
| [15:27] | You’re on the hook for this kid. You got that? Mmm-hmm. | 为他负起责任 明白吗？ |
| [15:30] | Cover his ass like tighty-whiteys. | 他搞砸了 你得救场 |
| [15:31] | I will cover his ass like moss on a Mississippi tree stump. | 我会给他擦屁股的 |
| [15:35] | Was how I put it not clear enough? | 我说得还不够清楚吗？ |
| [15:37] | I mean, you had to go and make up your own saying? | 你还得自己换种说法？ |
| [15:39] | Okay. | –好吧 |
| [15:40] | Deal with it, boys. | –自己想办法处理吧 |
| [15:42] | Luke and I have been working side by side as master and commander. | 卢克和我像总司令和指挥官一样 并肩作战 |
| [15:48] | Me as master, he as commander. | 我是总司令 他是指挥官 |
| [15:50] | Occasionally, he’ll need a little push. | 有时候他会需要我给他压力 |
| [15:52] | And I will do that, and he’ll slow down, and then I’ll push him again. | 我会给他压力 然后他慢下来 我又再次施加压力 |
| [15:57] | That’s the thing with kids. You have to keep pushing. | 跟孩子之间就是这样 得不断施压 |
| [15:59] | You have to push them until they push you back, | 直到他们反抗 |
| [16:01] | and then you push some more. | 然后你更强硬地施压 |
| [16:02] | It’s all about give and take, but mostly it’s about pushing each other. | 全在于力量之间的较量 大部分时候全看如何施压给对方 |
| [16:08] | Oh, yeah. | 没错 |
| [16:09] | This will be easy. | 这会很容易的 |
| [16:11] | So just, like, rearrange the buttons and stuff. | 就好像是重新布置按钮什么的 |
| [16:13] | Yeah, yeah. Like when he presses “door close,” the doors open. | 没错 他按下“关门”门反而开了 |
| [16:16] | Or he presses “lobby,” it goes to third floor. | 或者他按下“门厅”电梯却去了三层 |
| [16:18] | Stuff like that. Can you do that? | 差不多这样 你能修好吗？ |
| [16:19] | Yeah. Let me take a look at the circus board. | 可以 我检查一下线路板 |
| [16:23] | Dwight is about to get so Pammed. | 德怀特会被潘的恶作剧震惊的 |
| [16:26] | Hey, did you SMSitext message me? | 嘿 你是不是给我发短信了？ |
| [16:29] | Yeah, I wanted to show you something in the lobby. Come on. | 对 我想带你看看门厅里的一点东西 来 |
| [16:37] | Okay, that’s weird. I was just hitting “door close.” What? | 太奇怪了 我明明按的是“关门”键的 怎么回事？ |
| [16:41] | There we go. Well… | –好了 –嗯… |
| [16:43] | Good. | –很好 |
| [16:44] | Is this elevator going up? Hmm? | –电梯是在往上走吗？ |
| [16:46] | Hey, the elevator is disobeying us! | 嘿 这个电梯不听我们使唤！ |
| [16:51] | Okay. Okay. We are stuck. We are stuck. | 好了 我们被困住了 |
| [16:55] | Hank! Hank! Can you hear us? | 汉克！你听得到我们吗？ |
| [16:57] | Oh, my God. Okay. Emergency protocol. | –噢 天哪 |
| [16:59] | Okay, just… Just… Just calm down. | 紧急预案 –好了 你先…冷静点 |
| [17:01] | Pam, try and pry open those front doors, immediately. | 潘 赶紧把这门打开 马上 |
| [17:04] | I don’t… Use your talons! Pry ’em open! | –我不… –用你的爪子 扣开！ |
| [17:07] | Okay, Dwight… Oh, my God! | 好了 德怀特…噢 天哪！ |
| [17:09] | Well, don’t look, freak! | 别看我 你这个变态！ |
| [17:10] | Dwight, what are you doing? Well… | –德怀特 你干嘛？ –那个… |
| [17:12] | We’ve only been in here for, like, two seconds. | 我们在里面不过几秒钟 |
| [17:14] | I got 56 ounces of fluid in my bladder! | 我膀胱里憋着一升半的尿！ |
| [17:16] | And we have to establish a pee corner. | 我们得划定一个角落用来撒尿 |
| [17:18] | You’ve got to be kidding me. | 你开玩笑吧 |
| [17:20] | Luke is going to use his laser pointer to point to account setup. | 卢克将会用激光笔标识出创建账户的位置 |
| [17:24] | You click on that first, then a whole new… Not… No, no, no. | 你先单击这里 然后一个全新的… 不… |
| [17:28] | Luke, come on. Come on. | 卢克 拜托 |
| [17:29] | Not on Oscar’s head. | 别对着奥斯卡的头 |
| [17:31] | All right. Luke, come on. | 好了 卢克 拜托了 |
| [17:33] | Stop it. | 住手 |
| [17:35] | What? I’m stopping it. That’s what you said. | 怎么了？我正在停手 你不就是这么说的吗 |
| [17:36] | Give me the pointer. | 把激光笔给我 |
| [17:38] | So you just want me to move it. | 所以你其实想让我移动 |
| [17:39] | You’re being totally unclear here. | 你话说得太不清楚了 |
| [17:41] | I’m just gonna go ahead and move it. No, just power it down. | –我来移动一下 –不 关掉就行了 |
| [17:43] | No, no, no, no, no. Not on Angela’s boob. Come on. Come on. | 不 不要对着安杰拉的胸 |
| [17:45] | Luke, seriously. | 卢克 我认真的 |
| [17:46] | All right, fine, fine. I’ll just go. Okay. | –好了 我走就是了 –好 |
| [17:49] | I’m gone. All right. Okay. | –我走了 –好 |
| [17:52] | Good job. | 很棒 |
| [17:53] | Okay, email accounts. | 好了 邮件账户 |
| [17:54] | So, we’re starting with account setup. | 所以我们从创建账户开始 |
| [17:56] | Oh, my God, is it in my eyeball? Yes. | –天哪 是对准了我的眼球吗？ –对 |
| [17:58] | I think he’s burning my eye. | 我想他在灼烧我的眼睛 |
| [18:00] | Michael, do something. | 迈克尔 你不能就这么看着吧 |
| [18:01] | Sack up, man. You have to stop this. | –去阻止他 伙计 –你得让他住手 |
| [18:03] | Luke, can I have that? No. | –卢克 能把激光笔给我吗？ –不 |
| [18:04] | Okay, I am going to count down from five. | 好了 我从五倒数 |
| [18:07] | Five. | Five. –五 –五 |
| [18:08] | Four. | Four. –四 –四 |
| [18:09] | I’m not kidding. | 我不是开玩笑的 |
| [18:11] | Three. | Three. –三 –三 |
| [18:12] | Two. | Two. –二 –二 |
| [18:13] | One. Give… Okay. | 一 给…好了 |
| [18:15] | All right, give it up. No! | –好了 放手 –不！ |
| [18:17] | You are going to learn to be more professional, Luke! | 卢克 你得学着有点专业素养！ |
| [18:20] | What the… | –搞什么… |
| [18:21] | That’s what you’re going to do, Luke! | –你得照找我说的做 |
| [18:24] | What the hell was that? | –这哪一出？ |
| [18:25] | I had to do that. | –我不得不那么做 |
| [18:29] | This! | 去死吧！ |
| [18:31] | Screw it! All right. Are we good? | –见鬼去吧！ –好了 我们没事了吧？ |
| [18:35] | You’re okay. | 你没事了 |
| [18:37] | He’s okay. | 他没事了 |
| [18:41] | There are many different schools of thought on capital punishment. | 学术界关于体罚有着不同的见解 |
| [18:45] | That was awesome. | 刚才太棒了 |
| [18:48] | Texas justice. | 德克萨斯州式的正义 |
| [18:49] | Yeah, your nephew is so lame. | 对 你的侄子太差劲了 |
| [18:51] | He’s been trashing us relentlessly on Twitter. | 他在推特上肆无忌惮地说我们的坏话 |
| [18:54] | Yeah, it’s funny stuff, but mean. | 对 虽然很好笑 但是特别刻薄 |
| [18:57] | You follow him on Twitter? | 你在推特上关注他了？ |
| [18:59] | Everywhere I look, it’s Betty White this and Betty White that. | 我随便往那里看 都在说贝蒂怀特这个 贝蒂怀特那个 |
| [19:02] | Finally, a kid who’s not talking about Betty White. | 终于有个孩子不谈论贝蒂怀特了 |
| [19:05] | Of course I follow him. | 当然我要关注他 |
| [19:06] | Michael, you just physically assaulted an employee. | 迈克尔 你刚才袭击了一个员工 |
| [19:10] | Can we talk in private? | 我们能私下聊聊吗？ |
| [19:12] | Yes, of course. What is this in reference to? | 当然了 聊点什么？ |
| [19:18] | Pam? | –潘？ |
| [19:19] | Oh, hey, Jim. | –嘿 杰姆 |
| [19:21] | Some prankster switched the elevator buttons on Dwight. | 有人换了电梯按钮 恶作剧整德怀特 |
| [19:24] | I did not do this. | –不是我做的 |
| [19:25] | I know. | –我知道 |
| [19:30] | Yeah, and it was going really great at first. I got video. | 对 一开始进展很不错 我拍了视频 |
| [19:35] | This is impressive. | 太令人刮目相看了 |
| [19:36] | Well, you know, they don’t call me | 他们叫我“斯克兰顿的巴特辛普森” |
| [19:38] | “The Bart Simpson of Scranton” for nothing. | 可不是没来由的 |
| [19:40] | Do they call you that? They do call me that. | –他们这么称呼你？ –没错 |
| [19:42] | Come on, give me your hand. I’ll help you down. | 过来 把手递给我 我扶你下来 |
| [19:44] | Nope. Scared of getting cut in half. | 不要 |
| [19:46] | Also, there’s pee on the floor. | 我怕被切成两块 |
| [19:48] | Oh. | 还有 地板上有小便 |
| [19:49] | Of course there is. Hey, Chinese tonight? | 当然了 嘿 今晚吃中餐吗？ |
| [19:52] | Yeah. All right. | –好啊 –那好 |
| [19:55] | How you doing? Pretty good. | –你好吗？ –挺好的 |
| [19:57] | You must be almost out of water. | 你估计快要没水了吧 |
| [19:59] | Stop drinking the water! Stop! | 别喝水了！别喝了！ |
| [20:06] | No, no, no, no. It’s the other hand, right hand. | 不 另一只手 右手 |
| [20:09] | Right hand? Yeah. | –右手？ –对 |
| [20:10] | Would have been nice to work with my family. | 跟家人一起工作本来可以很开心 |
| [20:11] | It would have been nice if Luke had been able to stay here. | 如果卢克能留下来 本来可以很美好 |
| [20:15] | But he couldn’t. | 但是他没能留下来 |
| [20:17] | These things seldom work out. | 这样的安排很难成功 |
| [20:19] | I don’t know how Ringling Brothers do it. | 我不知道《兄弟马戏团》里他们怎么做到的 |
| [20:21] | Night after night, town after town, all across America. | 一晚接一晚 一个镇子接一个镇子 走遍了美国 |
| [20:24] | You would think they’d be sick of each other by now, | 你本来会觉得他们早该厌烦彼此了 |
| [20:27] | but, clearly, they make it work. | 但是很显然 他们想到办法共处 |
| [20:30] | And my hat’s off to them. | 我脱帽对他们敬礼 |
| [20:34] | Hey! Whoa! | 嘿！哇！ |
| [20:35] | You… Hey. | –你… –嘿 |
| [20:37] | Dwight. | Dwight… –德怀特 –德怀特 |
| [20:40] | Stop! | 住手！ |
| [20:42] | Legal says the best way to protect us from a lawsuit | 法务部门说避免法律诉讼的最好办法是 |
| [20:45] | is to call this a stress induced outburst. | 说这个是压力太大的失控爆发 |
| [20:47] | Mmm-hmm. | |
| [20:49] | You will have to undergo six sessions of counseling. | 你得去做六次心理治疗 |
| [20:52] | That’s it? Really? | 仅此而已？真的？ |
| [20:55] | That’s nothing. All right. | 这根本不算什么 好啊 |
| [20:57] | That’s highway robbery. Good. | 算是逍遥法外了 太好了 |
| [20:59] | Well, that’s the spirit. I can do that. | –这就对了 –这个我可以办到 |
| [21:01] | And you will do your counseling right here | 你要在这里接受心理治疗 |
| [21:02] | because our HR staff are all certified counselors. | 因为我们人事部的员工都是有资质的咨询师 |
| [21:05] | Okay. Wait, what? | 好吧 等一下 你说什么？ |
| [21:09] | Yeah, I’m really looking forward to working with you, Michael. | 迈克尔 我很期待跟你一起做治疗 |
| [21:14] | Is there another option? | 还有别的选择吗？ |
| [21:17] | The alternative is termination. | 要不然就终止合同 |
| [21:24] | Michael? | 迈克尔？ |