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办公室(美版)(The Office(US))第7季第16集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月13日 By jubentaici_movie_user 办公室(美版)(The Office(US))第7季第16集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
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时间 英文 中文
[00:03] Hey, how you doing? 嘿,你还好吗?
[00:05] Been thinking about my grandmother a lot. 我一直很想我奶奶
[00:07] Yeah. She was about to turn 97. –是啊 –去世时,她的97岁大寿将至
[00:10] At least she lived a very long, and I’m sure, a very happy life. 至少她老人家在世时福寿齐天
[00:14] Mmm.
[00:15] Got you this card. 这是送给你的贺卡
[00:16] When you’re ready, we all signed it. 你心情平复点后再看吧 我们集体签名了
[00:17] We just wanted you to know we’re thinking about you. 我们只想让你知道,大家心里有你
[00:19] Thank you. 谢谢
[00:23] “Congratulations, Darryl. Let’s get wasted.” “恭喜啊,达瑞尔,一起去喝个烂醉”
[00:27] “Have fun today, big guy.” “今天玩得愉快,大块头”
[00:29] “Oh, yeah. Party time. “噢耶,派对时刻”
[00:31] “Whoop-whoop.” “唔噗”
[00:33] It’s possible that some people thought it was your birthday. 有些人可能以为今儿是你的生日
[00:36] “Hooray. Live it up, big D.” “万岁,纵情作乐,D哥
[00:38] “Days like this don’t come often enough. 这样的好日子可不常有
[00:40] “Time to celebrate. 要好好庆祝
[00:42] “You deserve this”? 你应得的?”
[00:48] Birthday punches! One, two, three, four, five, six… 生日拳! 一、二、三、四、五、六…
[00:51] I’m so sorry. 我很遗憾
[00:52] …13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25… (斯克兰顿 欢迎您) 办公室
[01:18] So, I got an early res at Blu Wasabi, (情人节快乐)
[01:20] and I’m taking Rachel. 我在蓝山葵早早订了座位 准备和瑞秋过
[01:22] She’s picking me up after work. 她下了班来接我
[01:24] Rachel from the party? 派对上那个瑞秋?
[01:26] Oh, yeah. Nice. –没错 –真棒
[01:28] Do the damn thing. 干点坏事儿
[01:29] Blu Wasabi is so good, but get the cheeseburger. 蓝山葵是个好地方,但要点奶酪汉堡
[01:32] They say they won’t do it, 他们嘴上说不做这个
[01:33] but they will if you make a scene. 但要是你大闹一番,他们会破例的
[01:34] Okay, bye. Okay, bye. –行,回头见 –好,拜拜
[01:36] I’ll miss you. 我会想你的
[01:37] Miss you. 想你
[01:39] Okay. I’ll be in my office if you need me. Bye-bye. –好了,如果你找我,我就在我办公室 –拜拜
[01:42] Bye. 拜
[01:43] Okay, bye. Bye. –行了,拜拜 –拜
[01:44] All right, bye. Bye. Bye. Okay. –好了,拜拜 –拜,好了
[01:46] One more big one. Don’t go. I don’t want you to go. –再来一个 –别走,我不要你走
[01:48] Let go. Don’t go. –走了 –不要离开我
[01:55] Holly and I are dating. 霍莉和我在约会
[01:58] It’s been a week, and I still can’t believe it. 已经有一个礼拜了,我至今仍不敢相信
[02:03] It goes to show that everything 证明了是你的就是你的
[02:04] you want in life, you get.
[02:06] And you can’t work for it. It just comes to you. 不能强求,它会自己送上门
[02:09] And what do we have here? 这是什么呀?
[02:11] From my secret admirer. That’s you. 我的秘密崇拜者送的,就是你啦
[02:14] Caught. 看看吧
[02:15] I dominate Valentine’s Day. 我是情人节之王
[02:17] I practically make romance into a science. 我能让浪漫变为科学
[02:20] “Roses are red. Violets are blue. “玫瑰是红的,紫罗兰是蓝的
[02:21] “Look in the vase to find your first clue.” 在花瓶里找寻你的第一个线索”
[02:24] Oh, my gosh. It’s a romantic scavenger hunt. 我的天呐,这是个浪漫寻物游戏
[02:26] Close. It’s a romantic treasure hunt. 差不多吧,这是个浪漫寻宝游戏
[02:28] A scavenger hunt is where you find items from a master list. “寻物游戏”是指 找出列表上的一系列物品
[02:31] This is where you follow clues that lead to a prize. 而这个是指 通过寻找线索来寻找奖品
[02:33] Common misuse. Good luck. 它们常被误用,祝你好运
[02:34] But there’s no clue. 可没线索啊
[02:36] Well, get to work. 那就去找吧
[02:38] I can’t ’cause there’s no clue. 不行啊,因为没线索呢
[02:39] The puzzle is the clue. 拼图就是线索
[02:46] Are these numbers correct? –这些数字准确吗?
[02:47] The numbers are correct, Michael. –这些数字准确,迈克尔
[02:49] Okay. 好
[02:57] Are you… Are you sick, Oscar? 你…你是生病了吗,奥斯卡?
[02:59] Do you need to go home? 要不要先回家?
[03:00] ‘Cause you’re grossing me out. 因为你这样太恶心我了
[03:02] I just need a signature. 我只是要一个签名
[03:09] There you go. Thanks. 给你,谢谢
[03:10] Thank you. 谢谢
[03:14] How much did you give him? Big tip. –你给了他多少? –很多小费
[03:16] Wait. I don’t have my scarf. 等等,我围巾没了
[03:17] What? I’m missing my scarf. Oh… –什么? –我围巾丢了
[03:26] We decided to have a Valentine’s Day lunch, 我们决定去吃情人节午餐
[03:28] and then that way we can spend the entire night with Cece, 这样就可以整晚和塞西一起
[03:31] and avoid the Valentine’s Day dinner thing. 不用去吃情人节晚餐了
[03:35] It’s a whole thing. 就是这么个安排
[03:36] Yeah, lunch was wonderful! 说得没错,午餐真棒!
[03:38] Um, there was an amazing buffet, 超赞的自助餐,还有自制巧克力火锅
[03:40] and there was a chocolate fondue station.
[03:43] And what else was there? 还有什么来着?
[03:45] Uh, bottomless champagne. Yes. –无限续杯的香槟 –对
[03:48] Never found that bottom, did we? No. –我们怎么喝也喝不完,是吧?
[03:51] Pssst! Pssst! –没错
[03:54] What’s up? 怎么了?
[03:55] Are you good at jigsaw puzzles? –你拼拼图厉害吗? –开什么玩笑?
[03:57] Are you kidding me? It’s all I did every summer 每次暑假 我哥哥们去玩帆船时,我都在玩这个
[03:58] when my brothers were out sailing. 每次暑假 我哥哥们去玩帆船时,我都在玩这个
[03:59] Okay. But if this is a romantic thing with Gabe, –太好了 –但如果这是你和盖比间的浪漫游戏
[04:02] I should probably… 我不应该…
[04:03] Oh! No, no, no, no. It’s not weird at all. 噢,不,这一点都不尴尬
[04:06] You have your new girlfriend, I have Gabe. 你有了新女友,我也有盖比
[04:08] This is just as friends. 这只是朋友之间帮下忙
[04:09] Well, okay then. 那好吧
[04:11] Yes! At least until Stanley calms down. –太好了! –但至少等到斯坦利冷静下来
[04:14] Oh, is he… Don’t look. –他在… –别看他
[04:16] I accidentally did his sudoku. 我不小心玩了他的数独
[04:19] Andy. 安迪
[04:21] All right, I will fax over it to you. 好,我会传真它给你
[04:24] I will fax it over to you. Okay. Thank you. 错了,我会把它传真给你 好,谢谢
[04:30] Okay, my name is 我叫杰…杰姆哈尔佩特
[04:32] Jim Halpert, and I will fax it in to you. 我会把它传真到你里面
[04:36] Under you. I’ll fax it under you. 传到你下面,我会把它传到你下面
[04:38] Oh, excuse me. I just pissed my pants. 对不起,我刚尿…尿裤子了
[04:42] Not really. I didn’t really. 不是真的,我没有真尿
[04:47] Wait. 等下
[04:49] You’re just filling that out right now? 你现在来写?原本不是给我的吧?
[04:50] That wasn’t meant for me.
[04:53] I will not be your valentine. 我不会做你情人的
[04:54] Oh, nuts. 胡说
[04:58] I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, 不知道是否有人跟我有同感
[05:00] and don’t get me wrong, I love Michael and Holly. 不要误会,我很喜欢迈克尔和霍莉
[05:04] And maybe I’m being overly sensitive, but 也许是我过于敏感吧
[05:07] the PDA… –但在公众场合公然调情…
[05:08] Yes! The freaking PDA! Uh-huh. –就是!该死的公然调情!
[05:10] Thank you! 谢谢你!
[05:12] I mean, I’m thrilled for them. 他们能在一起,我无比高兴
[05:13] No one is more thrilled for them than I am… Yes. Yes, absolutely. –没人比我更为他们高兴… –对,当然
[05:16] …but it’s totally inappropriate. …但那太不恰当了
[05:17] Yeah, it’s a little much. 是啊,有点太过火了
[05:20] Obviously, so happy for them both. So happy. Yeah. –真的很为他俩感到高兴 –对,很高兴
[05:23] I don’t know, guys. I, for one, 我不知道,大家
[05:25] enjoy watching them, because… No, stop. Just don’t… –我反而很喜欢看着他们,因为… –别,打住,别说了…
[05:28] Can I finish? Can I finish? Is that okay? No, no, no. –我能讲完吗?能让我讲完吗?能吗? –不能
[05:31] I was saying, 我是说
[05:33] I enjoy watching them 我很享受看着他们亲昵
[05:36] because it makes me horny. 因为能让我性奋
[05:39] God! Kevin! 天呐!凯文!
[05:40] So, tell me about your new girlfriend. 说说你的新女朋友呗
[05:43] She’s neat. 她很不错
[05:44] Uh, I met her at Darryl’s cousin’s party. 我和她在达瑞尔表兄的派对上认识的
[05:46] We were the only two white people there. 当时只有我俩是白人
[05:47] Oh, cute. 真可爱
[05:49] Hey, look at that. Done. 你看,完成了
[05:51] That’s Gabe’s boom box. (找到我啦) 这是盖比的手提式音箱
[05:53] Come on, we have to go find it. 来吧,我们要把它找出来
[05:55] I wish you well on your quest. 祝你寻宝之旅成功
[05:56] No, come on. 别这样,来吧
[05:58] I mean… 我…
[05:59] Come on! 来吧!
[06:00] Okay. 好吧
[06:02] I hear them kissing all the time. 我听到他们一直在亲亲
[06:04] It’s this horrible plipping sound. 就是那种恐怖的“啵叽”声
[06:06] You know, it’s like Chinese water torture. 就像中国的水刑
[06:07] Just… 就像…
[06:09] Like it’s coming from my own head. 从我自己脑袋里蹦出来的
[06:11] Okay, sit. Okay. 好了,坐下
[06:13] Just close your eyes. 闭上眼睛
[06:16] Can you get lower? 能再往下一点吗?
[06:18] Oh, yeah. A little lower. –嗯 –再往下一点
[06:20] I cannot keep myself from Michael. 我对迈克尔欲罢不能
[06:23] Everything he does is sexy. 他做的每件事都很性感
[06:25] He has this undeniable animal magnetism. He’s a jungle cat. 他有着一种毋庸置疑的性引力
[06:30] The man exudes sex. 他就是一只丛林野猫,散发着性感
[06:33] He can put both his legs behind his head. 他能把两条腿弯到他后脑勺
[06:37] Thank you all for meeting on such short notice. (公然调情)
[06:39] Yes? 感谢各位赶来参加会议,请讲?
[06:40] Yes. Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin. 迈克尔斯科特,当德米福林
[06:42] What is the purpose of this meeting? 这次会议有啥目的?
[06:44] Seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day, 情人节嘛,我觉得开个关于工作场合
[06:45] I felt it would be apropos to have
[06:47] a little refresher course on romance in the workplace. 恋情的进修课程挺合适的
[06:50] Perfect. Yes. It is quite apro-propriate. Carry on. 太好了,没错 真的很合时,继续
[06:54] First things first, an office romance is permissible. 首先,我们允许办公室恋情
[06:57] Not something you’d expect to hear from corporate. Well, guess what? 你们以为公司会不赞成吗?
[07:00] Sabre is 100% tolerant of office romances. 萨布尔公司百分百容忍办公室恋情
[07:04] Speaking of, Gabe, I don’t see Erin at this meeting. 顺便提下,盖比,我看到艾琳没来开会
[07:06] Uh, I also don’t see Andy. 我看到安迪也没来
[07:08] Ooh.
[07:11] Boom! Face! 太丢脸了!
[07:12] I get it. Andy’s slamming my girlfriend. 我知道,你们想说
[07:15] Very funny. 安迪在和我女朋友乱搞很好笑
[07:16] What I do not approve of, however, is public displays of affection, 但我不赞成的是公开卿卿我我,即公然调情
[07:21] or PDAs.
[07:22] PDAs are totally superfluous to a happy, healthy office romance. 快乐健康的办公室恋情 是不需要公然调情的
[07:27] A perfect example, look at Jim and Pam. 完美的榜样,就看看杰姆和潘吧
[07:28] Yeah. What? Us? 没错,什么?
[07:31] They don’t touch. They don’t kiss. –我俩? –他们不摸摸,也不接吻
[07:33] You would hardly even know that they were husband and wife. 你们甚至看不出来他们是夫妻
[07:36] Did it. Yeah! –做到了,好极了,继续
[07:37] Love it. Keep it going. –对!
[07:38] Okay. So, PDAs. 好的,所以,公然调情
[07:40] That’s gonna include behaviors such as hugging, kissing… 包括以下行为:拥抱、接吻…
[07:43] Uh… Booby honking. 摸胸胸
[07:45] Yeah, booby honking. Sure. 对,摸胸胸,当然是
[07:47] Butt honking. –摸屁屁
[07:48] Butt honking. Yup, all the honkings. –摸屁屁,对,所有的摸摸
[07:49] The one where you start in a crouched position, then you leap… 还有那个先蹲着,然后跳起…
[07:51] Sure. Basically, there’s no precise definition, 当然,基本上,它没有精确的定义
[07:54] but you know it when you see it. 但当你看见时,就会了然于心
[08:00] Are you guys listening to this? 你俩有在听吗?
[08:04] What? Are you talking about me and Holly? 什么?你在说我跟霍莉?
[08:07] Yeah! 没错!
[08:08] Maybe you find your own chair. 你该自个找个位子了吧
[08:12] So, we kiss occasionally. 我们偶尔才亲亲
[08:14] Not occasionally. All the time. 不是偶尔,是不停在亲
[08:16] Yeah, and it’s not just the kissing. 没错,而且不只是亲亲
[08:17] It’s the flirtatious whispering. 还有那耳语调情
[08:19] The flirtatious tickling. 痒痒调情
[08:20] Whispering and tickling have their place in business. 耳语和挠咯吱窝都是工作中必要的
[08:23] That thing where you softly exhale on her neck. 贴着脖子呵气也是吗?
[08:26] I…
[08:27] Okay, yeah, that’s pretty hot. I will give you that. 好吧,是的 跟你说,那是很性感
[08:30] Look, you are all hypocrites. You all do it. 听着,你们都是伪君子,都是
[08:33] Michael? Confession. 迈克尔,招供?
[08:35] I have done PDA in the office. –我有在办公室里公然调情过
[08:37] Thank you. –谢谢
[08:38] I’ve had intercourse in the office. All right. –我还在办公室里搞过呢 –好了
[08:40] As has Angela. Dwight! –安杰拉也是 –德怀特!
[08:41] As has Ryan. As has Kelly. As has Meredith. 莱恩也有过,凯莉也有,梅瑞狄斯也有
[08:44] As has Phyllis. As has Darryl. As has Creed. As has Michael. As has Holly. 菲利斯也有,达瑞尔也有 克里德也有,迈克尔也有,还有霍莉
[08:49] As has Kevin. 凯文也有
[08:51] With who? 跟谁啊?
[08:52] She goes to another school. 她上的别的学校
[08:54] Okay, fine. No more PDA. 好,好吧,不再公然调情
[08:56] Good. You win. –很好 –你们赢了
[08:58] But here’s what we are gonna do. 但我们接下来要做的就是
[08:59] We are going to designate one of our closets as a hook-up zone. 我们将指定一个小房间作为亲热角
[09:02] No. Anything goes! –不要 –那里啥都能做!
[09:03] Just leave it how you said… Michael, that’s absurd. –你就别说了… –迈克尔,这太荒谬了
[09:06] What if two couples want to go at the same time? 要是有两对情侣同时想去呢?
[09:08] Ugh, Dwight! Okay, then we have two… 那好吧,指定两个小房间…
[09:09] No, no, we’re gonna have three closets, 不,三个小房间好了
[09:11] one for each base, no homers. Yes? 各种亲密程度分别一个,不包括做爱,好吗?
[09:13] And what is the hook-up zone policy on masturbation? 那亲热角的政策对于打手枪的态度是?
[09:17] Pro. Yes. –赞成 –太好了
[09:19] What? Problem solved. 咋了?问题解决了呀
[09:20] No, no, it’s great. I love working at Dunder Mifflin, 不,这很好 我很喜欢在当德米福林工作
[09:23] a division of Taliban enterprises. 塔利班企业的一个分部
[09:26] That’s weird. 这太怪了
[09:28] I mean, that’s weird to have sex in the office. 我是说,在办公室做爱太奇怪了
[09:31] That’s where you work, right? 那是工作的地方,对吧?
[09:33] Mmm-hmm.
[09:35] You know, you’re in a meeting, 你在那儿开会
[09:37] and nobody knows that you’ve had sex there, 但没人知道你在那儿做过爱
[09:40] except for you and him. 除了你和他
[09:43] Ew.
[09:47] Don’t mind us. You keep working. 不用管我们,你继续工作
[09:50] Okay, I’ll keep working. 好,我继续工作
[09:53] Oh, my God. It’s a song. 噢,我的天呐,是首歌
[09:56] Whoa.
[09:57] What do you think is on it? 你觉得歌词是什么?
[10:00] We should actually probably talk about it outside, 我们大概应该去外面再讨论吧
[10:01] or we might make Darryl mad. 不然可能会让达瑞尔抓狂的
[10:03] Not if we’re talking like this. I think it’s okay. 如果我们这样说话,应该可以吧?
[10:05] He doesn’t seem to hear us. 他好像听不到我们
[10:08] I think he’s just being nice. 我觉得那只是出于礼貌而已
[10:11] That makes sense ’cause I feel like I’d be able to hear us at this level. 有道理,如果我是他的话 也能听到我们讲话
[10:13] Darryl? 达瑞尔?
[10:15] Darryl is a jerk. 达瑞尔是个混蛋
[10:17] No, he’s not. 不,他不是
[10:18] No, I’m just testing if he can hear. 不,我只是试试他能不能听见
[10:19] I can hear you. Okay. –我能听见 –好了
[10:21] Then no more talking. Let’s just play the song. 那好,别说话了,放歌吧 (播放)
[10:24] The temp at night 夜间临时工
[10:26] The temp at night 夜间临时工
[10:28] The temp at night 夜间临时工
[10:30] The temp at night 夜间临时工
[10:33] Temp at night? 夜间临时工?
[10:36] What do you… 你觉得…
[10:37] You got it. 你们听见了
[10:39] Pick it up. Take it out. 拎起来,带走
[10:40] Pick?
[10:41] Pick it up. Okay. –拎起来 –好的
[10:43] Take it out. Pick it up. Pick it up. 带走,拎起来
[10:46] Pick it up. Take it out. 拎起来,带走
[10:47] Right. Okay. 好的,好
[11:00] Sorry to interrupt. Forgot to collect my things. 不好意思,打扰了 忘了拿我的东西
[11:02] Ah, the old leave behind. Oldest trick in the book. 把东西落下,借机过来搭讪 老把戏了
[11:06] Good thing it’s working. 这招正管用
[11:07] No. Michael, I don’t want to make people uncomfortable. 不,迈克尔 我不想弄得别人不自在
[11:10] Since when is comfort the most important thing? 啥时候舒适感变成最重要的了?
[11:13] I mean, I don’t sit on your lap because it’s comfortable. 我不是因为舒适感才坐你膝盖上的
[11:15] I sit on your lap because I like the way your thighs feel on my butt. 是因为我喜欢 你大腿蹭在我屁屁上的感觉
[11:18] Yeah, but if they’re uncomfortable, it makes me uncomfortable. 我知道,但如果他们不自在 我也不自在
[11:21] Oh, okay. Well, if it makes you uncomfortable, 噢,好吧,如果让你不自在
[11:25] then we’ll stop. Okay. –那就算了 –好
[11:27] Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet, 霍莉和我就像罗密欧与朱丽叶
[11:28] and this office is like the dragon that kept them apart. 这办公室就像拆散他们的恶龙
[11:32] Hey, you know the only reason why people here are complaining? 他们的抱怨只有一个原因 你知道是什么吗?
[11:36] They are jealous of two people in love on Valentine’s Day. 他们在嫉妒情人节里相爱的情侣
[11:41] Two people in love? 相爱的情侣?
[11:44] I love you. 我爱你
[11:47] Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean you love me? 慢着,你说你爱我是什么意思?
[11:49] We’ve only been dating for a week. 我们才交往了一个星期
[11:51] Do you mean you love me like, “Hey, there’s Holly. I love that girl,” 你的你爱我是指那种 “嘿,这是霍莉,我很喜欢那女孩”
[11:54] or do you mean you love me like you “love me” love me? 还是指你真的爱我的那种爱我?
[11:59] I “love you” love you. 我真的爱你
[12:02] You “love me” love me. 哇,你是真的爱我
[12:06] I “love you” love you. 我也真的爱你
[12:21] I am really disappointed in the office’s policy on PDA at this moment. 我此刻真的对办公室的 公然调情政策失望透了
[12:32] I love you. 我爱你
[12:34] I love you. 我爱你
[12:40] Yeah, whatever. No big deal. 没错,爱怎样就怎样,没什么大不了的
[12:42] Just the hottest girl in the world loves me. 只是全世界最性感的女孩爱上我而已
[12:50] Okay, Ryan’s the temp. What does he do at night? 好了,莱恩就是临时工,他晚上会干嘛?
[12:52] I guess we just have to wait until night and see. 我想我们得等到晚上呗
[12:55] Oh.
[12:57] Or maybe not. 也许不用
[13:02] Oh.
[13:04] Cool. 好棒
[13:06] How romantic is this? 真浪漫啊
[13:09] Super romantic. Right? –超浪漫 –就是啊
[13:12] Do you see a clue or… 你有看到线索…
[13:13] Did you not see it? 你没看见吗?
[13:15] Oh, my gosh. Hanks. (来汉克斯餐厅享用美食) –天呐 –汉克斯餐厅
[13:20] Oh, hey. Hey. No time to chat! –嘿 –嘿,没空说话!
[13:22] Sorry. Well, we were just looking for Ryan. –抱歉 –我们只是在找莱恩
[13:24] So, he’s not here. Hey, you’re looking for me? –所以,他不在咯 –嘿,你们在找我?
[13:26] Oh, yeah, we were. We were just looking to say hi. So, hey. 是的,我们就想跟你打个招呼,嗨
[13:30] No, you weren’t. –你们不是在找我
[13:32] No, we weren’t. –对
[13:33] You wanted to have sex in my office. 你们想在我办公室做爱
[13:34] No. Definitely not. That’s disgusting. –没有 –完全没有,那太恶心了
[13:36] It’s cool. 没事,尽量把东西放回原位吧
[13:37] Just, um, try to put everything back where you found it.
[13:41] Text me when you’re finished. I’ll be out here. 完事后给我发短信吧,我就在这边
[13:44] Hey, you don’t have to… 你不必…
[13:47] That was so embarrassing. I’m gonna die. 丢死人了
[13:48] That was really rough. 挺难为情的
[13:53] Let me make something clear. 我来说说清楚
[13:55] Jim and I have never and will never have sex in the office. 杰姆和我从来没有 也不会在办公室里做爱
[13:59] No, because the office isn’t what I’d consider a romantic place. 没错,因为我觉得办公室不是个浪漫的地方
[14:04] Besides, we have something those other people don’t have, 而且我们有别人没有的东西
[14:07] which is a home and a bed. 一个家,还有床
[14:10] And a shower. 还有洗澡房
[14:13] Hello, Holly. Hello. –你好,霍莉 –你好
[14:14] Here, shake. No! 来,握手,不可以!
[14:15] No, don’t touch. No, we can’t. –不行,不能接触 –不能
[14:18] No touching. No touching. –不能碰 –不能碰
[14:20] Ah, I’m trying not to touch you. 我尽量不碰你
[14:23] Oh.
[14:24] Almost got you. No, so close. –差点就碰了
[14:26] Oh! –对,就差一点点
[14:27] No, we can’t do that. We can’t do this. 不,我们不能这样
[14:30] You’re not touching me. 你没在碰我
[14:31] I don’t know what your body feels like, ’cause I can’t touch it. 我不知道你的身体摸起来如何 因为我不能碰你
[14:36] Okay, this is much worse than before. 行了,现在变本加厉了
[14:37] Yeah, I agree. This is nasty. 我同意,这简直就是淫荡
[14:39] Grab you here. And here. –抓你这儿 –还有这儿
[14:41] And I will grab you here anyway. 反正我都要抓你这儿了
[14:45] You have to cut it out. 你们必须打住
[14:46] Never. Okay. –不可能 –好的
[14:47] You said you would. I did say I would, –你说你会的 –我是说过
[14:49] but I was wrong. I can’t stop. 但我错了,我不能停
[14:51] You don’t know what it is like to love a woman 你不知道爱一个女人
[14:55] and have her love you back. It is a feeling that cannot, and will not, 并得到她的爱是什么感受
[14:59] and frankly cannot be contained. 坦白说,那种感觉不能,也不会被抑制
[15:03] No one is a bigger fan of sexual touching than me. 没人比我更喜欢性抚摸
[15:06] But with you two, it’s reaching the level of a complex. 但你俩的情况就复杂多了
[15:10] I can think of three explanations. 我能想到三个原因
[15:12] One, you’re taking MDMA, street name, Ecstasy. 第一,你俩在嗑亚甲二氧甲基苯丙胺 俗称“摇头丸”
[15:15] I’ve done it, and I know the feeling. 我啃过,知道是什么感觉
[15:17] No, I don’t think so. 不,我想不是
[15:19] Number two, you’re desperately trying to fit in a whole relationship 第二,你俩拼命想得到一段完整的恋爱
[15:23] before Toby comes back from jury duty and Holly has to go back to Nashua. 因为托比做完陪审员回来 霍莉就要回纳舒厄
[15:28] Or three, you’re at an age 或者第三,你们这岁数
[15:31] where your sexual climaxes aren’t as powerful, 性高潮不给力
[15:34] so you need to overcompensate with foreplay, taboo behavior. 所以你需要用前戏、破戒等行为来过度补偿
[15:40] Yes, it was that. It’s that one. 对,就是这样
[15:43] Yes. Number three. 对,第三个原因
[15:48] Give me all your money and take off your clothes. 把钱拿出来,脱掉衣服
[15:51] We’re not supposed to PDA. 我们不应该公然调情
[15:52] Come on. Nobody’s looking. 来吧,没人在看
[16:01] What’s wrong? 怎么了?
[16:06] I hadn’t thought about you having to go back to Nashua. 我之前都没想过你要回纳舒厄的事
[16:10] Maybe we didn’t want to think about it. 也许是我们不想去想吧
[16:14] We can make it work. We’ll date long-distance. 我们可以的,可以异地恋啊
[16:16] That’s what we said last time, remember? 我们上一次也是这么说的,记得吗?
[16:19] We broke up on the drive. 我们在路上就分手了
[16:22] How’s this gonna be any different? 这次又有什么不同?
[16:24] We weren’t in love last time. 上次我们还没相爱
[16:25] I was in love with you. 我那时已经爱上你了
[16:28] I’m not saying it won’t be hard, but we can make it work. 我不是说这不是难事 但我们能做到
[16:33] That’s what she said. 她是这么说的 (艾琳特色菜,零元!超便宜!)
[16:40] One Erin special, please. 请来一份艾琳特色菜
[16:42] Here’s your bottle of sparkling cider. 这是你点的苹果汽水
[16:44] That’s my favorite. 我最爱喝的
[16:45] I’m now supposed to tell you 我现在应该要对你说
[16:47] to enjoy a mid-hunt break, and look for a heart or some 享受你寻宝半途中的休息时光…
[16:52] in the break room when you’re through. 休息过后,就去休息室 找颗心还是什么狗屁东西
[16:56] Hey, buck up, buddy. 振作啊,兄弟
[16:58] Make that face he likes. 快扮他喜欢的那鬼脸
[17:02] Hey. Hey, come on. You’re hurting him. 嘿,拜托,你在火上浇油
[17:08] It’s like a time bomb is ticking down. 就像一颗定时炸弹,计时器在倒数
[17:11] When it goes off, no more kissing, no more hugging. 爆炸以后,就再没亲亲和抱抱了
[17:14] Just hush. 别哭
[17:15] Sexual time bomb. 定时性弹
[17:17] Just rock. 摇啊摇
[17:22] “Boner Bomb” starring Jason Statham, 杰森斯坦森主演的《勃起炸弹》
[17:24] or we go against type with an Eisenberg or a Michael Cera. 或者我们整个艾森伯格或迈克尔塞拉版的
[17:26] Movie idea? No. –电影创作? –不是
[17:29] Saving the world has never been this hard. 拯救世界从未像现在这么难
[17:32] Okay. 好了
[17:34] Have you talked to her about our feelings? Women really go for that crap. 你有没和她谈过你的感受? 女人都很吃这一套
[17:37] No, I can’t talk to her. 没有,我不能和她说话
[17:38] I can’t even look at her without thinking about it ending. 我一看到她,就会想到我们快完了
[17:44] Kevin, do more stupid faces. 凯文,再来点儿蠢鬼脸
[17:47] Which one? 哪个?
[17:48] I have a lot of stupid faces. I don’t know. –我有好多蠢脸呢 –我不知道
[17:50] Do a monkey face. Do a monkey face. –扮猴脸 –猴脸
[17:53] I love that. I love that face. Good. He loves it. –我喜欢,我爱死这个了 –很好,他喜欢
[17:58] Good. Jump. Jump up and down. 好,跳起来,上下跳
[18:00] No, monkey! Go back to the monkey. –不,我要猴子! –回到猴脸
[18:02] Don’t do the squirrel. 不要扮松鼠
[18:04] Throw your poop. Hurl your feces. –扔便便 –用力扔你的粪便
[18:06] That’s good. Good. –做得好 –很好
[18:07] That’s good. He’s throwing it. 太好了,他在扔便便
[18:09] They really do that. I know. –真猴儿们确实会扔便便 –我知道
[18:11] B-9. B-9. –B–9
[18:13] Like benign tumor. 就好像良性肿瘤
[18:14] Maybe it’s just more like “Be mine.” 也许更像“做我的女人”
[18:17] Oh, yes. There’s a note. 对啊,有张便条
[18:20] “A little cookie for you, my miss. “小曲奇赠佳人,我的小姐
[18:22] “But the real treasure is your Valentine’s kiss.” 但真正的宝贝是你的情人节之吻”
[18:25] Mmm.
[18:28] So…
[18:29] We’re supposed to… 我们是不是该…
[18:32] Hmm…
[18:47] Holly, hey. Hi. –霍莉,嘿 –嗨
[18:50] Holly, I love you so, so, so much. 霍莉,我真的好…好爱你
[18:53] And I think that we need to break up. 我想我们不得不分手了
[18:55] What? What are you talking about? –什么?你在瞎扯些什么?
[18:56] Actually, it’s Valentine’s Day. –今天是情人节
[18:58] Shouldn’t be doing this today. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. 说这个有点煞风景,我明天再跟你谈吧
[19:00] No, we’re gonna talk now. 不行,有话现在就说清楚
[19:02] You’re not breaking up with me. 你不能和我分手
[19:04] You’re gonna go back to Nashua eventually, and I can’t handle it. 你最终都得回纳舒厄,我承受不了
[19:09] So let’s just… Let’s… 所以我们还是…
[19:11] What if I said it wasn’t up to them? 要是我说这不是他们决定的呢?
[19:13] Who? The company. –谁? –公司啊
[19:15] Nobody knows our future, 没人能预知我们的未来
[19:17] but it’s not gonna be decided by the company. 但做决定的不会是公司
[19:19] It’s not gonna be decided by anybody but us. 也不会是其他人,这是我俩的决定
[19:22] And what we are is up to you and me. 我们的事我们俩说了算
[19:27] Okay. Okay. 好了,明白了
[19:32] Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. 女士们先生们,我有事情要宣布
[19:35] As of today, officially, 从今天开始
[19:38] Holly and I are moving in together. 我和霍莉正式同居了
[19:40] Yay!
[19:42] Thank you. Thank you. 多谢大家
[19:43] Oscar, this must be tough for you, watching this go down. 奥斯卡,看到这一幕你一定不好受
[19:47] You could not stand in the way of true love, my friend. 真爱不是你能阻挡得住的,我的朋友
[19:49] Are you kidding? I wasn’t trying to break you guys up. 说什么呢?我又没想拆散你俩
[19:51] Better luck next time, pal. 祝你下次成功,哥们
[19:53] Well, the point is, there will no longer be any need for PDA here at the office 重点是这办公室里不再需要公然调情了
[19:58] between us, because when we get home, 因为我们回家之后
[20:01] we are going to make love to and with one another, 将会用身体狠狠爱对方
[20:05] and that, to me, is the best Valentine’s Day present 对我来说 这是天下最好的情人节礼物
[20:08] that a person could receive. So, I bid you all adieu. 所以,我先向大家辞别了
[20:13] You do? I do. –真的? –没错
[20:16] Go on. Kiss each other already. 来吧,热情拥吻吧
[20:20] Suck it, Oscar. This must kill you. 忍了吧你,奥斯卡,恶心死你
[20:23] I just told them to do it. 是我让他们接吻的
[20:36] What? No. –什么? –没有
[20:38] No. 没有
[20:40] We took a walk. We took a walk. –我们去散了散步 –散步了
[20:46] My perfect Valentine’s Day? 理想的情人节?
[20:49] I’m at home, three cell phones in front of me, 我坐在家里,面前摆着三部手机
[20:52] fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy 回答着他人绝望的电话询问
[20:54] one of the 50 restaurant reservations I made over six months ago. 想购买我半年前就订好的 那50个餐厅预约
[20:58] Anybody can be Prince Charming one day a year 所有人每年都能当一天的白马王子
[21:02] with the dinner and the flowers and all that. 或者吃顿有鲜花相伴的大餐啥的
[21:04] But you know what impresses me? 但你知道我最欣赏的是啥吗?
[21:06] When a guy can do that no days a year. 一年下来,有人连这样的一天都没有
[21:10] Flowers, diamonds, three-course meal, 鲜花、钻石、三道菜大餐
[21:13] violinist comes to my table to serenade me. 小提琴手在我桌边拉小夜曲
[21:15] Pizza, soda, the moon, 披萨、苏打水、月光
[21:18] someone to share it with. 佳人相伴
[21:19] What are our plans for tonight? 我俩今晚有啥安排?
[21:22] Um…
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