| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | It is 6:00 a.m., and Deangelo and I are about to go house to house | 现在是早六点，我和迪安杰罗正要挨家挨户 |
| [00:05] | to give everybody their Dundies nomination certificate. | 发给大家盾叠的提名证书 |
| [00:08] | Just like the Oscars. Yes. | –就像奥斯卡奖那样 –是的 |
| [00:10] | And this happens every year? | 每年都这样吗？ |
| [00:11] | Every year this happens. Okay. Every year. | –每年都这样 –好，每年 |
| [00:13] | You have a lot to learn, my friend. | 你要学的多着呢，我的朋友 |
| [00:16] | Well, you know, why don’t we try it, | 你看，为什么我们不试试 |
| [00:18] | and if it goes good, it’ll be part of my tradition. | 如果进行得顺利，它就会成为我的传统 |
| [00:21] | Why are you even saying that? You’re going to love it. | 你干嘛这么说？你一定爱死它 |
| [00:24] | Here we go. | 到了 |
| [00:27] | This way, this way. | 这边、这边 |
| [00:32] | Okay. Nice house. | –好 –房子不错 |
| [00:34] | Surprise! Congratulations! | –惊喜！ –祝贺你！ |
| [00:36] | Yep. | 好吧 |
| [00:37] | You and Pam have both been nominated for Dundie Awards. | 你和潘均被提名盾叠奖 |
| [00:41] | Okay. | 好 |
| [00:42] | Here we go. | 给 |
| [00:44] | Have Pam come down. No, no, she’s not here. | –让潘下来 –不行、不行，她不在这 |
| [00:46] | What’s going on? | –怎么回事？ |
| [00:47] | Stay in bed. | –在床上躺着 |
| [00:48] | Congratulations! Stanley, we love you. | –祝贺你！ –斯坦利，我们爱你 |
| [00:50] | Have you lost your mind? Get off my property before I call the police. | 你们疯了吗？滚出我的房子，不然我报警了 |
| [00:56] | All right, we got it. Good. Okay. | –好吧，我们搞定了，很好 –好吧 |
| [00:57] | Leave it at the door? Okay. | –放在门口吗？好吧 –没事 |
| [00:58] | Yeah, that’s fine. | 盾叠奖提名证书 斯坦利哈德森 |
| [01:06] | Hey, Toby, you suck! | 嘿，托比，你真差劲！ |
| [01:09] | Is this an employee of ours? | 这是我们的员工吗？ |
| [01:12] | Why are… Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! | –为什么… –走、走、走、走、走、走、走！ |
| [01:14] | I’ve never seen this place in the daylight. | –我从没在白天来过这里 |
| [01:17] | This reminds me of Katrina. | –这让我想起了卡特里娜飓风 |
| [01:21] | Here we go. All right. | 我们到了，好了 |
| [01:24] | Got it? Are we set? Hello? | 好了？我们准备好了？有人吗？ |
| [01:29] | Oh. Uh-oh. | |
| [01:30] | I’m so busted. Walk of shame. | 我被抓个现形，真想找个地缝钻进去 |
| [01:33] | Do you usually leave your door unlocked? And ajar? | 你通常不锁门吗？把门开个缝？ |
| [01:37] | Nice. I got a Dundie nomination. Wow. | 好啊，我得了个盾叠提名，哇 |
| [01:39] | Yes, that’s right. Yes, you did. | –说得对 –你得了提名 |
| [01:41] | No big deal. Congratulations, Meredith. | –没什么了不起 –祝贺你，梅瑞狄斯 |
| [01:43] | Well, we should head out. | 我们该走了 |
| [01:44] | No, no, no, you’ve got to stay. | 别、别、别，你们得留下 |
| [01:46] | No, no, no, I have Vienna sausages and I have napkins. | 别、别、别，我有维也纳香肠和餐巾纸 |
| [01:48] | Let me fix you breakfast. | 让我给你们做点早饭 |
| [01:51] | I’m not going in there. | 我不会进去的 |
| [01:56] | Go. | 走吧 斯克兰顿欢迎您 办公室 |
| [02:13] | Good morning, Erin. | –早上好，艾琳 |
| [02:14] | Oh, hey, didn’t see you. | –嘿，没看见你啊 |
| [02:15] | Any big plans for tonight? | –今晚有什么安排吗？ |
| [02:17] | I don’t know. | –不知道 |
| [02:18] | Maybe volunteer at the women’s shelter, go to bed. | 可能在妇女避难所当志愿者，然后睡觉 |
| [02:21] | Or, I don’t know, | 或者，我不知道 |
| [02:23] | maybe I’m going to the Dundies! | 也许我会参加盾叠奖典礼！ |
| [02:27] | You are getting so funny. Very good. | 你可真逗，非常好 |
| [02:32] | The Dundies are my baby, and they need to go on. | 盾叠是我的首创，应该传承下去 |
| [02:38] | When Larry King died, they didn’t just cancel his show. | 拉里金死的时候，他们可没取消他的节目 |
| [02:41] | They got Pierce Morgan to come in and do his show, | 他们找来皮尔斯摩根主持他的节目 |
| [02:44] | and that way, Larry lives on. | 这样，拉里一直活着 |
| [02:51] | Anything can happen at the Dundies. | 在盾叠典礼上，什么都有可能发生 |
| [02:53] | They’re like the Golden Globes, but less mean. | 他们就像金球奖，但不那么刻薄 |
| [02:56] | And I just want us to all have a good time. | 我只想大家享受其中 |
| [02:58] | Just a little announcement, folks. | 我通知大家一下，记住，盾叠典礼需要正装出席 |
| [02:59] | Remember, the Dundies is a black tie affair. | |
| [03:02] | Black tie optional. | 不必正装出席 |
| [03:04] | Every day is black tie optional. | 每天都不必穿正装 |
| [03:06] | FYI, tonight we will be hosting at Louie Volpe’s. | 告诉你们一下，今晚我们在路易沃尔普举行典礼 |
| [03:10] | Nice. I love their breadsticks. | –好啊 –我喜欢他们的棍形面包 |
| [03:11] | Oh, their breadsticks are like crack. | 他们的棍形面包让人上瘾 |
| [03:13] | I love when people say “like crack” | 我喜欢那些明显从没吸过毒的人说“上瘾” |
| [03:15] | who’ve obviously never done crack. | |
| [03:17] | Well, the breadsticks are like what then, Ryan? | 棍形面包会让人怎样呢，莱恩？ |
| [03:18] | What can I use? I don’t know. Something from your world. | –我能用什么词？ –我不知道，你那个领域用的某个词吧 |
| [03:20] | “The breadsticks are like scrapbooking.” | “棍形面包像做剪贴簿” |
| [03:22] | You’re right, you’re right. No, I’m a middle-class fraud. | 说得对，说得对，不，我是个中产阶级骗子 |
| [03:24] | Shh. Okay, okay, okay. | 好、好、好 |
| [03:26] | Everybody’s right. They’re like breadsticks on steroids. | 每个人说得都对，他们就像让人上瘾的棍形面包 |
| [03:29] | Right? Yeah, that’s great. | –对吧？ –很好 |
| [03:31] | So, as you know, the Dundies are my legacy, | 你们知道的，盾叠是我的留下的东西 |
| [03:33] | so I’m going to need to train a replacement. | 我需要培养一个接班人 |
| [03:35] | So this year, I have decided to have a co-host. | 今年，我决定带一个人共同主持 |
| [03:39] | And that person is | 那个人是 |
| [03:43] | Deangelo! | 迪安杰罗！ |
| [03:46] | Always the Padawan, never the Jedi. | 千年男二号，永远当不上男一号 |
| [03:49] | Thank you, Michael. Uh, but I will have to pass. | 谢谢，迈克尔，但是我只能拒绝 |
| [03:54] | Think of it as part of your training. | 把这看作是你培训的一部分 |
| [03:56] | I’m not much of a performer. | 我没什么表演天分 |
| [03:57] | Unless you count singing in the shower. | 除非你算上洗澡时唱歌 |
| [04:01] | Boy, okay. | 天，好吧 |
| [04:03] | Okay, well, we’ll work on it. | 好吧，我们会解决的 |
| [04:05] | Look, I’m very, very bad. | 我非常非常差劲 |
| [04:07] | Very bad. You are doing it. | –非常差劲 –你现在就在演了 |
| [04:09] | Guys, I want you to help us work on some banter. | 伙计们，我需要你们帮我们想点笑话 |
| [04:12] | Yes! I love banter. | –好啊！我喜欢笑话！ |
| [04:13] | Good. | –好 |
| [04:14] | – But I hate witty banter. – Here we go. | –但我不喜欢得用脑子搞清楚的笑话 –这就对了 |
| [04:18] | So, Deangelo, you and I have a lot in common. | 迪安杰罗，我和你很有共同点 |
| [04:21] | You lost 200 pounds, and I lose my car keys every morning. | 你减了90公斤，而我每天早上都把车钥匙弄丢 |
| [04:27] | That is true. We do share some similarities. | 那倒是真的，我们确实有些相似之处 |
| [04:30] | I know how we can fix one of those problems. | 我知道我们如何解决一个问题 |
| [04:33] | For me, it was portion control. | 我的解决方案是份量控制 |
| [04:34] | For you, you need a keychain. | 你则需要一个钥匙链 |
| [04:37] | Maybe hang them on the… Okay, okay, you know what? | –也许把钥匙挂在… –好、好，知道吗？ |
| [04:38] | I didn’t actually lose my keys. | 我不是真的把钥匙丢了 |
| [04:40] | Okay, so this did not happen. | –所以这不是真事 |
| [04:41] | M’kay. | –对 |
| [04:42] | There needs to be what you call a “rat-tat-tat.” | 讲笑话需要控制节奏 |
| [04:46] | And right now, it’s all “rat” and no “tat.” | 现在，我有节奏，而你没有 |
| [04:48] | Ryan, come on up here. | 莱恩，你上来 |
| [04:49] | Deangelo, if you’d just… Do you mind? | –迪安杰罗，如果你能… –你介意吗？ |
| [04:51] | Tap Deangelo out. Because if I can see it. | –跟迪安杰罗换地方 –这样我就能看见 |
| [04:53] | Just watch this. Okay. | 看着，好的 |
| [04:55] | Ryan, how are you today? | 莱恩，你今天过得怎样？ |
| [04:57] | Why don’t you ask my therapist? | 你干嘛不问我的治疗师？我妈给她的钱肯定够了 |
| [04:58] | My mom certainly pays her enough. | |
| [04:59] | There you go! Lovely! | 这就对了！很棒！ |
| [05:02] | Regis and Kelly. Nice. | 《里吉斯和凯利脱口秀》的表演水平，很好 |
| [05:04] | Use that as an inspiration. Just be funny. | 以此作为启发，好笑就好 |
| [05:07] | Uh… You, sir. Are we having fun tonight? | 这位先生，我们今晚过得愉快吗？ |
| [05:10] | Having a great time. Thanks, yeah. Oh, good. | –很愉快，谢谢 –很好 |
| [05:12] | Where were you on September 11th? | 你九月十一日恐怖袭击那天在哪？ |
| [05:13] | No, gosh. No, no. | 天，不、不 |
| [05:16] | – Stop, stop. – This is so weird. | –停下、停下 –太怪了 |
| [05:18] | If I’m conducting a meeting, good to go. | 如果我主持会议，我做得来 |
| [05:20] | But if I think of it as a performance, I fall apart, obviously. | 但如果把它当成表演，显然我就不行了 |
| [05:24] | Why don’t you think of hosting the Dundies | 那你为何不把主持盾叠典礼当成主持会议？ |
| [05:25] | like you’re just running a meeting? | |
| [05:27] | No, no, no, this is the performance of your life. | 不、不、不，这是你最重要的演出 |
| [05:30] | Why don’t you just privately, in your own head, think of it like a meeting? | 你干嘛不在自己的思想里把它当成会议？ |
| [05:33] | Jim, please, no loopholes. | 杰姆，拜托，不可以钻空子 |
| [05:36] | Mike, why do you have to control | 迈克，你为什么要控制他在脑子里想什么？ |
| [05:37] | how he perceives it in his mind? | |
| [05:38] | This is my last Dundies ever. | 这是我最后一届盾叠典礼了 |
| [05:41] | If I want mind control over him, is that too much to ask? | 如果我想做他的主，这很过分吗？ |
| [05:49] | Good. Good, good. Good. | 好、好、好、好 |
| [05:51] | Now, tell me something terrible | 告诉我你童年发生的糗事 |
| [05:53] | that happened in your childhood. | |
| [05:54] | When I was very young, my mother divorced my father | 我很小的时候，我妈跟我爸离婚了 |
| [05:58] | and I had to go to court and choose between them. | 我必须得去法庭选择跟谁在一起 |
| [06:00] | Too personal. I don’t want to hear about that stuff. | 太私密了，我不想听那种事 |
| [06:03] | Let’s try this. Put this on. | 我们试试这个，把它戴上 |
| [06:06] | I am going to turn this on and turn the volume all the way up, | 我要把它打开，把音量开到最大 |
| [06:11] | so you can’t… That’s right, you’re not going to be able to hear yourself. | 这样你就不能…对了，你就听不见自己说话了 |
| [06:15] | Read this, and it’s going to sound perfect. | 读这个，听起来肯定完美 |
| [06:17] | “The Dundies are all about coming together, | “盾叠旨在将大家聚在一起 |
| [06:21] | “and recognizing the indomitability of the human spirit!” | “表彰人类精神中的不屈不挠” |
| [06:26] | Say it with an accent! | –说的时候要用口音！ |
| [06:28] | The Dundies! | –盾叠！ |
| [06:29] | “The Dundies!” The Dundies! | –盾叠！ –“–盾叠！” |
| [06:31] | I just don’t understand the desire | 我就是不懂为什么非要向我推荐炸甘薯条 |
| [06:33] | to push sweet potato fries on me. | |
| [06:35] | I just want regular fries. | –我只想要普通的炸土豆条 |
| [06:36] | Yeah. Oh! | –是啊 |
| [06:40] | Hey, Erin, everything okay? | 嘿，艾琳，还好吗？ |
| [06:42] | Get away from the car, or he’s going to see you. | 离车远点，不然他会看见你们 |
| [06:43] | Who’s going to see us? | –谁会看见我们？ |
| [06:45] | Just get in. Get in. Just get in. | –上来、上来、上来 |
| [06:46] | Get in the car? | 上车？ |
| [06:49] | Please, sorry, get in. | 拜托，对不起，上车 |
| [06:53] | I’m sorry, sorry, sorry. | –对不起、对不起、对不起、 |
| [06:54] | What’s wrong? | –怎么了？ |
| [06:55] | I eat lunch in the car now. It’s my alone time. | 我现在在车里吃午饭，这是我的独处时间 |
| [06:59] | It’s just nice to have some time away from Gabe. | 有点时间远离盖比真好 |
| [07:02] | Why don’t you want to each lunch with your boyfriend? | 你为什么不想跟你的男朋友吃午饭？ |
| [07:04] | I really don’t like spending time with him. | 我真不喜欢跟他待在一起 |
| [07:07] | Don’t you think it’s better to tell him the truth now? | 你不觉得现在应该告诉他？ |
| [07:09] | You know, rather than waste more of his time? | 而不是浪费他更多的时间？ |
| [07:15] | I think I’m going to go. What? | –我想我要走了 –什么？ |
| [07:17] | I think you got this. Okay. | –我想你应付得来 –好 |
| [07:19] | Okay? All right. Yeah. | –好吗？没事 –好 |
| [07:21] | Okay. Thank you, Jim. Feel better. | –好，谢谢，杰姆 –感觉好多了 |
| [07:23] | I’m sorry, that just wasn’t interesting to me. | 对不起，只是我不感兴趣 |
| [07:28] | I can’t just dump him, Pam. I’m not like you. | 我不能就这么甩了他，潘，我不像你 |
| [07:30] | I can’t be mean. | –我刻薄不起来 |
| [07:31] | Wait, when am I… | –等等，我什么时候… |
| [07:34] | You just have to be clear and firm, you know. | 你只是需要说得清楚坚定 |
| [07:37] | Just tell him you don’t love him. Just be honest with him. | 告诉他你不爱他，对他诚实 |
| [07:44] | Hi. Appalling. | –嗨 –好帅啊 |
| [07:46] | Eyesore. | 真丑 |
| [07:49] | Surprisingly adequate. | 出乎意料地拿得出去手 |
| [07:51] | Okay, everyone, the festivities commence in four seconds! | 各位，典礼还有四秒就开始了！ |
| [07:56] | Deangelo, Jo’s on the phone for you. | 迪安杰罗，乔找你接电话 |
| [07:59] | Hello? | 喂？ |
| [08:00] | Deangelo, we’re in serious horse manure here. | 迪安杰罗，我们有大麻烦了 |
| [08:03] | The Dundies are tonight, and we ain’t got no host. | 盾叠典礼今晚举行，我们还没有主持人 |
| [08:06] | Oh, no. | –不会吧 |
| [08:07] | Luckily, I have someone for you. | –很幸运，我给你找了个人 |
| [08:09] | Billy Crystal? Better. | –比利克里斯托？ –比他还好 |
| [08:11] | Neil Patrick Harris? | 尼尔帕特里克哈里斯？ |
| [08:12] | He’s in Little Shop of Horrors on Broadway. | –他在百老汇出演《异形奇花》呢 –对了 |
| [08:14] | Right. No, we need Michael Scott, | 不，我们需要迈克尔斯科特 |
| [08:16] | the best darn Dundies host both sides of the Mississippi. | 密西西比河两岸最棒的盾叠典礼主持人 |
| [08:22] | I’ve got to find Michael Scott. | 我得找到迈克尔斯科特 |
| [08:25] | And then I’ve got to get him to the Dundies. | 然后我得让他出席盾叠典礼 |
| [08:30] | Hey, can you help me find Michael Scott, Angela? | 嘿，你能帮我找到迈克尔斯科特吗，安杰拉？ |
| [08:33] | My boyfriend can. He’s a state senator. | 我男朋友可以，他是州参议员 |
| [08:36] | Mmm-hmm. | |
| [08:37] | Oh, no, he can’t help because that title has no meaning. | 不，他帮不上忙，因为那个名头没什么意义 |
| [08:42] | Try Jim, Deangelo. He’ll be able to help. | 试试杰姆，迪安杰罗，他能帮上忙 |
| [08:44] | Mmm-hmm. | Mmm-hmm. |
| [08:45] | Jim, do you know where I can find Michael Scott? | 杰姆，你知道我能在哪找到迈克尔斯科特吗？ |
| [08:49] | Oh, I totally don’t know where Michael is, dude. | 我完全不知道迈克尔在哪，伙计 |
| [08:52] | Hey, you want to listen to some records? | 嘿，你想听点音乐吗？ |
| [08:55] | No one’s listening to me. I’m running out of time. | 没人听我说话，我们没时间了 |
| [08:57] | Well, what are you talking about? | 你在说什么？ |
| [09:04] | I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. | 我倒了，我起不来了 |
| [09:07] | Maybe I just need to look into my heart. | 也许我该扪心自问 |
| [09:10] | Deangelo, where is Michael Scott? | 迪安杰罗，迈克尔斯科特在哪？ |
| [09:13] | I’m here. In a good way. | 我在这，好着呢 |
| [09:15] | I’ve been here the whole time. | 我一直都在这 |
| [09:18] | The analytical part of me wants to examine it. | 我内心善于分析的那部分想要仔细看看 |
| [09:21] | But I know it has no content. | 可是我知道什么都没有 |
| [09:23] | Ladies and gentlemen, please stand up | 女士们，先生们，请起立迎接今晚的共同主持人 |
| [09:26] | for your co-host of the evening, | |
| [09:27] | Michael Gary Scott! | 迈克尔盖里斯科特！ |
| [09:31] | Please remain standing for your other co-host and new manager, | 请不要坐下，迎接另一位共同主持人即新任经理 |
| [09:37] | Deangelo Jeremetrius Vickers! | 迪安杰罗杰瑞米特里斯威克斯！ |
| [09:49] | Is that part of the… | 那是一部分…？ |
| [09:56] | Deangelo. Hey. | 迪安杰罗，嘿 |
| [09:58] | Deangelo, what are you doing? There’s a live audience out there. | 迪安杰罗，你在干什么？外面有直播观众 |
| [10:01] | Just go do it by yourself, or get Ryan. | 你自己去吧，要不找莱恩 |
| [10:03] | No, Ryan would never do it. It’s too on the radar. | 不，莱恩不会干的，太抢手了 |
| [10:06] | Look, look, the boss hosts the Dundies. It’s sort of our perk. | 听着，听着，老板主持盾叠，这是我们的骄傲 |
| [10:11] | This was not part of the job description. | 这不是职责范畴内的 |
| [10:14] | Okay, listen to me. | 听我说 |
| [10:15] | You’re not doing this for me, you’re not doing this for you. | 你不是为我做的，你不是为自己做的 |
| [10:17] | You’re not even doing this for them. | 你甚至不是为他们做的 |
| [10:19] | What am I doing it for? | 那我为了什么做？ |
| [10:21] | You’re doing it for all those kids out there | 你是为那些在路易沃尔普吃儿童餐的孩子们而做 |
| [10:23] | eating off the Louie Volpe’s kids menu | |
| [10:25] | who are wondering, “Does it get better?” | 他们想知道“会更好吗？” |
| [10:27] | What I want you to do is, I want you to say, | 我想让你做的是，我想让你说：“演出开始” |
| [10:29] | “It’s show time.” And get out there. | 然后出去 |
| [10:32] | I can’t. Say it. | –我不行 –说啊 |
| [10:35] | Stop hitting me. | 别打我 |
| [10:36] | You can do it, just say it. | 你可以的，说就好了 |
| [10:39] | Hit me again. | –再打我一下 |
| [10:40] | Now hit me. | –现在打我 |
| [10:43] | One, two, three… | 一、二、三… |
| [10:45] | It’s show time! | It’s show time! –演出开始！ –演出开始！ |
| [10:46] | All right, here we go. | 好，这就对了 |
| [10:52] | Okay, okay, sorry about the delay, everybody, | 好、好，各位，不好意思，拖延时间了 |
| [10:55] | but we were at the DMV waiting in line. | 但是在汽车部排队等着呢 |
| [11:00] | Fall asleep right after sex. Huh, guys? | 做了爱就睡着了，伙计们？ |
| [11:04] | Nope, go back to the script. | 不，按台词来 |
| [11:06] | There are a lot of great salesmen in this office, | 这间办公室里有许多优秀的销售员 |
| [11:09] | but one of our great salesmen is also a great dad, | 但是我们最棒的一位销售员，也是一位很棒的父亲 |
| [11:13] | and a close personal friend of mine. | 也是我的亲密朋友 |
| [11:15] | Jim Halpert, Best Dad Dundie. | 杰姆哈尔佩特，最佳父亲盾叠 |
| [11:24] | Wow, I do not parent for the awards, | 哇，我当父亲不是为了获奖 |
| [11:26] | but I got to tell you, it feels pretty good. | 但是说实话，我真的感觉很棒 |
| [11:28] | Cece, if you’re watching this at home, it’s way past your bedtime. | 塞西，如果你在家看这个典礼，你早就该去睡觉了 |
| [11:31] | By the way, how’d this get televised? Thanks. | 顺带一提，这怎么会上电视呢？谢谢 |
| [11:34] | Well done. | 很棒 |
| [11:35] | I don’t know, maybe being a good dad | 我不知道，也许当个好父亲只是本能为之 |
| [11:37] | is just following your own compass. | |
| [11:38] | I don’t know, I don’t know. Thank you. Okay. | –我不知道，我不知道，谢谢 –好 |
| [11:44] | Didn’t think to mention me, huh? | –没想到提起我？ |
| [11:45] | Didn’t I? | –我没提吗？ |
| [11:46] | Which moves us to Best Mom Dundie. | 接下来是最佳母亲盾叠 |
| [11:50] | This person, well, I guess we all sort of | 这位人士，我想我们都认为她是整个办公室的妈妈 |
| [11:52] | consider a mom around the office, | |
| [11:54] | Meredith Palmer! | 梅瑞狄斯帕尔默！ |
| [11:56] | Oh, my God! | 天啊！ |
| [11:57] | Say what? | 说什么呢？ |
| [12:05] | I’ll tell you one thing, I’m not going to be a good mom tonight. | 告诉你们一件事，今晚我不活做个好妈妈 |
| [12:07] | Whoo! | |
| [12:08] | Excuse me, can I get a photo of the best mom and the best dad, please? | 不好意思，我能给最佳母亲和最佳父亲照个相吗？ |
| [12:12] | Step on up. | 上来 |
| [12:14] | I’ve got to go do this. | –我必须得这么做 |
| [12:15] | Why? | –为什么？ |
| [12:17] | Let’s go, big smiles, folks. There they are. | 来吧，张开嘴笑，伙计们，这就对了 |
| [12:19] | Year after year, I catch a lot of flak on this particular award | 一年又一年，我接到许多对这一奖项的抱怨 |
| [12:22] | because year after year, I present this award to a guy instead of a girl. | 因为一年又一年 我把这个奖项颁给一位男士，而不是一位女士 |
| [12:26] | Hottest in the Office goes to Danny Cordray! | 办公室最性感奖颁给丹尼科德雷！ |
| [12:31] | Danny could not be here tonight… | 丹尼科德雷今晚无法出席… |
| [12:33] | How do I feel about not winning | 今年我没赢得办公室最性感奖，感觉如何？ |
| [12:35] | Hottest in the Office this year? | |
| [12:36] | Um, I’m very relieved. | 我觉得大大地松了一口气 |
| [12:38] | How do you judge something like… What is his criteria, even? | 你如何判断那些… |
| [12:42] | It’s… | 他的标准是什么？ |
| [12:43] | It’s so subjective. | 太主观了 |
| [12:44] | Stanley Hudson is a grump, everybody knows that. | 斯坦利哈德森脾气差，大家都知道 |
| [12:48] | But did you know that Stanley Hudson | 但你知道斯坦利哈德森 |
| [12:51] | is also the face of a debilitating disease known as diabetes? | 有一张糖尿病脸吗？糖尿病会使人虚弱 |
| [12:56] | The Diabetes Award goes to Stanley Hudson! | 糖尿病奖颁给斯坦利哈德森！ |
| [13:00] | Come on up here, you sick bastard. | 上台来吧，你个病秧子 |
| [13:05] | I have diabetes, too. You don’t see me making a big deal about it. | 我也有糖尿病，你可看不到我小题大做 |
| [13:09] | They say he’s going to be my right-hand man, | 他们说他是我的得力助手 |
| [13:13] | ad-lib masturbation joke. No. | 即兴的自慰笑话，不 |
| [13:16] | I hate this. I hate it so much. | 我恨这个，我恨死它了 |
| [13:18] | Dwight Schrute, please accept this Promising Assistant Manager Dundie. | 德怀特舒特，请接收最有前景助理经理盾叠 |
| [13:25] | Thank you, thanks so much. Um, I want to dedicate this award | 谢谢，非常感谢，我想要将此 |
| [13:29] | to something that, uh, we take for granted in our daily lives, | 献给那些在日常生活中我们习以为常的事 |
| [13:33] | and that is the humble trash can. | 那就是卑微的垃圾桶 |
| [13:35] | This is for you, trash can. | 这是为你而得的，垃圾桶 |
| [13:44] | Who gave you those crayons? | 谁给你的蜡笔？ |
| [13:46] | I brought them from home. | 我从家带的 |
| [13:48] | Do you have a red? | –你有红色吗？ |
| [13:49] | This is a cloth tablecloth. | –这是桌布 |
| [13:50] | You can’t color on it. | 你不能在上面涂颜色 |
| [13:52] | Oh, really? | 是吗？ |
| [13:54] | Did you know herpes affects one out of every five sexually active adults? | 你知道每五个有性行为的成人中 会有一人感染疱疹吗？ |
| [14:00] | Pippi Longstocking, | 长袜子皮皮 |
| [14:02] | Ronald McDonald’s wife, Ron Howard, Ron Weasley. | 罗纳德麦当劳的妻子、朗霍华德、罗恩韦斯莱 |
| [14:06] | What do they all have in common? Redheads. | 他们有什么共同点？红头发 |
| [14:09] | And, Erin Hannon, | 凯莉汉农 |
| [14:11] | come on up here to receive your Cutest Redhead in the Office award. | 上台来领你的办公室最可爱红头发奖 |
| [14:15] | That is bull. | 胡扯 |
| [14:20] | Thank you, thank you, thank you. | 谢谢、谢谢、谢谢 |
| [14:24] | This is the first award I’ve ever won in my entire life. | 这是我这辈子第一次得奖 |
| [14:28] | People were right about the Dundies, they are magical. | 关于盾叠，人们说得对，盾叠是有魔力的 |
| [14:33] | But I don’t feel it, | 但是我没感觉到 |
| [14:35] | and I think that’s because I’m not with the right person. | 我想那是因为我没跟对的人在一起 |
| [14:39] | Gabe… | 盖比… |
| [14:41] | What? | –怎么？ |
| [14:42] | We should break up. | –我们应该分手 |
| [14:44] | What? | 什么？ |
| [14:45] | I’m not attracted to you. | 我对你没兴趣 |
| [14:48] | I just… I cringe when you talk. | 我只是…在你说话时妥协了 |
| [14:52] | I have to be honest. | 我得说实话 |
| [14:54] | Right, Pam? | 对吗，潘？ |
| [14:59] | Thank you for hearing me. | 谢谢你们听我说 |
| [15:03] | Okay, well, this is embarrassing. | 好吧，这好尴尬 |
| [15:07] | Obviously really angry at Erin. | 很明显，我很生艾琳的气 |
| [15:09] | Here comes that quarter-life crisis everyone’s talking about. | 这就是大家说的青年危机 |
| [15:15] | All right, I’m gonna go. | 好吧，我得走了 |
| [15:18] | Let’s… There you go. | 我们…下去吧 |
| [15:21] | Damn, that was cold. | 天，真冷血 |
| [15:24] | It is difficult to recognize the person who will be replacing you. | 要表彰即将取代你的人很难 |
| [15:28] | But he is a good guy, | 但是他是个好人 |
| [15:29] | so the Michael Scott Award for Best Dundies Host | 所以迈克尔斯科特最佳盾叠主持人奖 |
| [15:34] | goes to Deangelo Vickers. | 颁给迪安杰罗威克斯 |
| [15:44] | Speech, speech, speech… | –讲话、讲话、讲话… |
| [15:45] | Speech, speech, speech… | –讲话、讲话、讲话… |
| [15:48] | Hold on, hold on one second. | 等等，等一下 |
| [15:53] | Crank it. | 说吧 |
| [15:57] | I want to… I feel truly blessed to be working with all of you. | 我想…我觉得跟你们所有人在一起工作很幸运 |
| [16:01] | You know, before this all started, funny story, | 在这之前，挺逗的 |
| [16:04] | I was in the bathroom, vomiting and vomiting in that men’s room. | 我在卫生间里吐个不停，在那个男卫生间里 |
| [16:08] | Okay. That’s why it has been shut down… | –好 –这就是为什么它关门了… |
| [16:10] | That’s it. …for most of the evening. | –对了 –…整个晚上 |
| [16:11] | This is important. He’s expressing himself. | 这很重要，他在表露心声 |
| [16:13] | Hosts don’t get Dundies. No. | –主持人不得盾叠奖 –不 |
| [16:15] | This is truly special for me, | 这对我很特别 |
| [16:17] | and, anyway, it’s so much lighter. | 总之，它轻多了 |
| [16:20] | Okay, we’re done. That’s it. What? | –好了，说完了，没有了 –什么？ |
| [16:22] | Michael, are we… What? | –迈克尔，我们…什么？ |
| [16:23] | We’re done, we’re done. | –我们完事了，完了 |
| [16:27] | So, that is how it ends. My last Dundies ever. | 这就是结尾了，我最后一届盾叠 |
| [16:33] | I was hoping it would be more like Godfather III, | 我希望它会像《教父三》 |
| [16:36] | that wrapped up the whole franchise | 把整个系列完美结束 |
| [16:39] | in an extremely satisfying way, | |
| [16:42] | but instead, it is like Godfather I, | 但是，这就像《教父一》 |
| [16:45] | that was very confusing, | 让人很困惑 |
| [16:49] | had maybe three big laughs. | 只让大家大笑了三次 |
| [16:53] | Oh, well. | –就这样吧 |
| [16:54] | Hey, Michael? | –嘿，迈克尔？ |
| [16:55] | We were thinking maybe we could keep this thing going. | 我们想也许我们应该把它进行下去 |
| [16:59] | What? | –什么？ |
| [17:00] | I know I’m the cause of this royal screwup, | –我知道是我搞砸的 |
| [17:01] | but I would like to see the show go on. | 但是我想看见节目进行下去 |
| [17:03] | No, don’t. You’re being too hard on yourself. | 不，别，别太责怪自己，我们的排练时间很短 |
| [17:05] | We had a very truncated rehearsal time. | |
| [17:07] | Let’s grab some ice cream, go back | 咱们买点冰淇淋，回到办公室，把典礼进行完 |
| [17:09] | to the office, and finish what we started. | |
| [17:11] | So what you’re saying is, you kind of liked it? | 你的意思是，你喜欢它？ |
| [17:14] | “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.” | “我倒了，我起不来了” |
| [17:16] | That Phyllis bit. That was pretty good, right? | 菲丽斯那部分，很不错，对吧？ |
| [17:18] | I don’t know that we need to dissect it all right now, but it… | 我不觉得我们现在需要描述整件事，但它… |
| [17:20] | That got a big laugh. It did. | –让大家大笑了一场 –确实 |
| [17:21] | That actually got a big laugh. Pretty huge laugh. | –确实让大家大笑一场 –大大地笑了一场 |
| [17:23] | You were laughing, right? I was. | –你笑了，是吧？ –我笑了 |
| [17:25] | Oh, you know what? I have to go to the bathroom. | 知道吗？我得上厕所 |
| [17:27] | Don’t worry, we’re really close. | 别担心，我们很近 |
| [17:28] | Really, you know, I can just run over to the gas station there. | 我可以跑到那边的加油站去上 |
| [17:30] | We should just wait here and not get | 我们应该在这等着，坐不到会议室的好座位？ |
| [17:32] | good seats in the conference room? | |
| [17:33] | That’s true, we wouldn’t get seats together. | 对啊，我们就不能坐在一起了 |
| [17:35] | Okay, yeah, I’ll hold it. I’m fine. | 好吧，那我憋着，我没事 |
| [17:37] | You know, despite a couple of hiccups, I thought that went very well. | 除了几个技术问题，我觉得典礼进行得非常好 |
| [17:41] | I thought it was the worst Dundies I’ve ever been to. | 我想这是我参加过的最差劲的盾叠典礼 |
| [17:44] | Man! Maybe you should have won the Kind of a Bitch Award. | 天！也许你该得混蛋婊子奖 |
| [17:48] | Gladly. I’d accept that award, because a bitch is a female dog. | 很荣幸，我会接受的，因为婊子是母狗 |
| [17:54] | What? What are you doing? Aah! | 什么？你在干嘛？ |
| [17:56] | What… Ooh! | 什么… |
| [17:58] | Please don’t stop so suddenly. Seatbelt’s pressing on my bladder. | 请别急刹车，安全带压着我的膀胱呢 |
| [18:01] | Why are you even wearing a seatbelt? | 你干嘛系安全带？你在后座上做着呢，亲 |
| [18:02] | You’re sitting in the backseat, baby. | |
| [18:03] | What is your problem? | 你有什么毛病？ |
| [18:05] | I just don’t see the point of the Dundies, okay? | 我就是不觉得盾叠有意义，好吗？ |
| [18:07] | The jokes are terrible, the venue was bad, the fashion was boring. | 笑话糟糕，地点糟糕，氛围无聊 |
| [18:10] | Okay, that is unfair. The clothing was safe but tasteful. | 那不公平，着装不裸露但是很有品位 |
| [18:14] | And next time, why don’t you pick a co-host | 下次你干嘛不找个不怯场的人共同主持？ |
| [18:16] | that doesn’t have microphone-a-phobia? | |
| [18:18] | Look, whatever you’re going to do, | 听着，不管我们要做什么，大概还要多久？ |
| [18:20] | how long is it going to take, ballpark? | |
| [18:22] | Because I just… I’ve got to make a decision here. | 因为我…我要在这做决定 |
| [18:29] | He is in an all-out sprint. | 他全速启动 |
| [18:32] | …better than before. | –…比以前都好 |
| [18:34] | Please, excuse me. | –不好意思 |
| [18:36] | Here… Okay. | 这里…好吧 |
| [18:38] | By his own admission, this person | 他自己承认了，他上大学时吸过大麻 |
| [18:40] | actually tried marijuana in college, | |
| [18:43] | so the Doobie Doobie Pothead Stoner of the Year Award | 所以今年的大麻大麻瘾君子奖 |
| [18:47] | goes to Andy Bernard! | 颁给安迪伯纳德！ |
| [18:50] | Yes. | 好耶 |
| [18:52] | Ohhh! | |
| [18:53] | There’s a lot of people I’d like to thank, | 我要感谢许多人 |
| [18:55] | but I think we all actually want to thank you, Michael. | 但是我想我们都想感谢你，迈克尔 |
| [18:58] | Oh! Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:00] | I mean, we actually really all want to thank you for everything. | 我们想谢谢你你所做的一切 |
| [19:08] | Oh, my God. Something’s happening. | 天啊，有什么事要发生 |
| [19:12] | 9,986,000 minutes | 九百九十八万六千分钟 |
| [19:17] | We actually sat down and did the math | 我们坐在一起算了一下 |
| [19:21] | 9,986,000 minutes | 九百九十八万六千分钟 |
| [19:26] | That’s how many minutes that you’ve worked here | 你已经在这里工作了这么多分钟 |
| [19:30] | In costumes | –穿戏服 |
| [19:31] | And impressions | –模仿名人 |
| [19:33] | In meetings | –开会 |
| [19:34] | In cups of coffee | –喝咖啡 |
| [19:36] | For birthdays | –过生日 |
| [19:37] | More meetings and… | –开更多的会… |
| [19:38] | E-mail forwards you made us read | 你转给我们读的电邮 |
| [19:40] | 9,986,000 minutes | 九百九十八万六千分钟 |
| [19:45] | That’s like watching Die Hard 80,000 times | 好像看了八万遍《虎胆龙威》 |
| [19:49] | You hit me with your car | –你用车撞了我 |
| [19:52] | You helped me get off drugs | –你帮我戒毒 |
| [19:54] | I watch you when you sleep | 你睡着时我看着你 |
| [19:56] | I forgive you for kissing me | 我原谅你吻了我 |
| [19:58] | Remember to call | 记得打电话 |
| [20:02] | You’ve got to remember to call | 一定要记得打电话 |
| [20:04] | Remember to call | 记得打电话 |
| [20:07] | Love is a gift from up above | 爱来自天赐 |
| [20:09] | Remember to call | 记得打电话 |
| [20:11] | Text or call or e-mail or call | 发短信，打电话或发邮件，或打电话 |
| [20:14] | Measure, measure your life in love | 用爱，用爱丈量你的生活 |
| [20:22] | Remember to call | –记得打电话 |
| [20:24] | Yeah, yeah, yeah | –对、对、对 |
| [20:27] | Remember to call | 记得打电话 |
| [20:29] | Yeah, yeah, you’ve got to remember to call | 对、对，一定要记得打电话 |
| [20:32] | Remember to call | 记得打电话 |
| [20:39] | Yeah, okay. | 好吧 |
| [20:43] | Well, this is going to hurt like a mother. | 这会疼死我的… |
| [20:48] | Every day, millions of Americans | 每天，上百万的美国人受着厌恶的折磨 |
| [20:50] | suffer from extreme repulsiveness. | |
| [20:52] | Someone in our midst is bringing that problem to light. | 我们当中有人让我们看清了这个问题 |
| [20:55] | Toby Flenderson, please come up here | 托比菲尔德逊请到台上来 |
| [20:57] | and accept the Extreme Repulsiveness Award. | 领极度厌恶奖 |
| [21:00] | Oh, that’s so mean. | –真刻薄 |
| [21:01] | No, it’s fine. | –还好啊 |
| [21:02] | It’s his last Dundies. | –这是他最后一届盾叠了 |
| [21:03] | You got to play along, man. | –你得配合，伙计 |
| [21:04] | Come on, Toby. | 拜托，托比 |
| [21:07] | Here he comes! | 他来了！ |
| [21:09] | All right, you deserved it. | 好吧，你实至名归 |
| [21:11] | I really disagree with this. I think it’s kind of hateful. | 我真心不同意，我觉得这有点心怀敌意 |
| [21:15] | Although, I am a little happy right now | 可是，我现在有点开心 |
| [21:16] | to have a platform to talk about the outcome of a case | 可以有个平台说说 |
| [21:19] | that I was recently a juror on, the Scranton Strangler. | 我担任斯克兰顿扼杀者一案的陪审团成员 |
| [21:21] | A man’s being put to death, I was part of the verdict, | 一个人要被处死，而我是裁决的一部分 |
| [21:25] | and I’m not so sure he’s guilty anymore. | 我不太确定他是不是还有罪 |