| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | So, coasting time is officially over. | 好吃懒做的时代正式结束了 |
| [00:04] | Big changes are coming, and they’re coming fast. | 接下来会有重大变革，并且来势汹汹 |
| [00:08] | If you don’t like ’em, | 如果你不喜欢 |
| [00:10] | this is called a door, you can walk right through it. | 这里有个门，你能直接走出去 |
| [00:12] | All right? I’m not here to be your friend. | 好吧？我不是来和你交朋友的 |
| [00:14] | I like my life outside of this place. | 我喜欢不在办公室时的生活 |
| [00:16] | I live to leave at 5:00. | 五点整我就走人 |
| [00:19] | Change number one, Darryl. | 第一项变化，达瑞尔 |
| [00:21] | Per your request, the company is sending you to business school at night. | 根据你的要求 公司决定送你去商学院读夜校 |
| [00:25] | Full ride, deal with it. | 学费全免，你忍了吧 |
| [00:28] | Seriously? Stone-cold seriously. | –真的？ –珍珠都没那么真 |
| [00:31] | They are trying to figure me out, and I don’t like it. | 他们想摸清我，我不喜欢 |
| [00:37] | Once they figure me out, they start to tell me what I want to hear. | 一旦他们了解我，就会开始说我爱听的 |
| [00:41] | And I need to quickly figure out who’s a good worker, | 我需要快速弄清楚谁是真敬业 |
| [00:44] | and who is simply a good mind reader. | 谁只是个马屁精 |
| [00:47] | Because as soon as I’m hearing what I wanna hear, | 因为只要他们一说我爱听的 |
| [00:50] | I’m not gonna care. | 我就不在乎了 |
| [00:52] | Change two, Toby. You’re getting a new chair. | 第二项变化，托比，你有新椅子了 |
| [00:55] | Thanks. Don’t thank me. | –谢谢 –别谢我 |
| [00:57] | Hey, don’t thank me, guy. | 别谢我啊，老兄 |
| [00:59] | Okay? | 好吧？ |
| [01:01] | I don’t care if you like it. | 我不管你喜不喜欢 |
| [01:02] | These sound like good ideas, why wouldn’t we like them? | 这些都是好事儿啊 为啥我们会不喜欢？ |
| [01:05] | I don’t care what your favorite flavor is. | 我不管你们喜欢哪个口味 |
| [01:08] | Here’s a bowl of ice cream, you either like it or you don’t. | 这里有碗雪糕，你爱吃不吃 |
| [01:11] | That’s my attitude right now in this room, | 这就是当下我在此办公室的态度 |
| [01:14] | that’s my attitude on “Ice Cream Thursdays.” | 这就是我对“星期四雪糕日”的态度 |
| [01:18] | All right? | 好吗？ |
| [01:19] | Clear? Any questions? | 明白了吗？有什么问题吗？ |
| [01:21] | This all sounds great to me. | 我都好喜欢啊 |
| [01:27] | But I could see how some people might think that they’re bad. | 但我明白可能有人会觉得不好 |
| [01:32] | I don’t know what to think. | 我不明白了… |
| [01:34] | That is a… | 凯文，你的… |
| [01:36] | An astute observation, Kevin. | 观察真是又快又准 |
| [01:39] | Kev’s got me pegged. | 我被凯看穿了 （斯克兰顿欢迎您） （敦德米福林） 办公室 |
| [02:15] | It blows away Vermont in the fall. | –秋天时，能把佛蒙特州刮走 –哇，真的？ |
| [02:17] | Snap, for real? | |
| [02:18] | Not even… Good morning, Deangelo. | –连… –早上好，迪安杰罗 |
| [02:19] | Hold on, Pam. Okay. | –等一下，潘 –好 |
| [02:21] | And if you’re really serious, | 如果你真想去 |
| [02:23] | you should go in the spring. | 春天去吧 |
| [02:24] | ‘Cause of the flowers. No. | –因为鲜花盛开 –不是 |
| [02:26] | Because the entire state smells like earth. | –因为整个州充满泥土的气息 –还有山茱萸，或许只是泥土？ |
| [02:29] | Dogwoods, or just the earth? | |
| [02:31] | Yes, Pam. | 什么事，潘？ |
| [02:32] | Hey, well, good morning. I think I have good news for you today. | 嘿，早上好，我今天有个好消息告诉你 |
| [02:35] | I found your new executive assistant, my friend, Carla. | 我帮你找到行政助理了，我朋友卡拉 |
| [02:38] | She’s got great experience, | 她经验丰富 |
| [02:40] | we even considered making her Cece’s godmother, | 我们之前还考虑要她做塞西的教母呢 |
| [02:42] | but she had this boyfriend at the time. | 但当时她有男朋友 |
| [02:43] | But here’s her resume. Put it with the rest. | –这是她的简历 –和其它的放在一起吧 |
| [02:45] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [02:46] | Hey, dudes. Hey. | –嘿，哥儿们 –嘿 |
| [02:48] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [02:49] | Oh, my God, he hates me. No, he doesn’t. | –天呐，他讨厌我 –才没有 |
| [02:52] | You just get so nervous and hyper around him. | 只是你对着他时太紧张、太激动了 |
| [02:53] | I know. Every time there’s a silence, | –我知道 –只要有一点沉默 |
| [02:55] | your brain’s, like… | 你的脑子就… |
| [02:57] | Is that what he tells you at your little inner circle meetings? | 他在你们核心圈子开会时告诉你的？ |
| [02:59] | Careful, there is no inner circle. | 小心说话，我们没啥核心圈子 |
| [03:03] | Oh, there is an inner circle. Oh, yeah. | 有核心圈子，绝对有 |
| [03:06] | There is no inner circle. | 没有什么核心圈子 |
| [03:08] | Deangelo just prefers to delegate a few things to a few guys. | 迪安杰罗只是喜欢把某些事 交给某些人去办 |
| [03:12] | Jim only says that because he’s in the inner circle. | 杰姆会这么说只是因为 他是核心圈子成员 |
| [03:16] | I also say that because I am also in the inner circle. | 我也这么说 因为我也是核心圈子成员 |
| [03:22] | Did you get that, ma? | 你看到了吗，妈妈？ |
| [03:23] | Your boy, Kevin Malone, is in the inner circle, | 你的儿子凯文马龙是核心圈子成员了 |
| [03:31] | which doesn’t exist. | 而这个核心圈子是不存在的 |
| [03:37] | There he is. Got you coffee. | 他呀，给你买了杯咖啡 |
| [03:39] | Oh, wow, thank you, that was so kind of you. | 哇喔，谢谢你，你好好啊 |
| [03:45] | Not a coffee guy, I take it, huh? | 看来你不喜欢喝咖啡，是吗？ |
| [03:46] | It’s just that I own the coffee shop. | 只是那个咖啡店是我的 |
| [03:48] | So once you’ve seen sausage being made, | 所以你看到香肠正在出炉 |
| [03:51] | all you wanna do is make sausage ’cause it’s so much fun. | 你就想去做香肠，因为好好玩啊 |
| [03:53] | Listen, I’ve got a sixer, Automatic for the People on the jukebox. | 我有半打啤酒，点一首《为人民而自动化》 |
| [03:58] | Let’s hit the park after sundown, come on. | 太阳下山后去公园吧，来吧 |
| [04:01] | Pick up some sausage if you want. | 如果你想，还能带上点香肠 |
| [04:02] | I think you’ll find what you’re looking for over there. | 你想找的人在那边 |
| [04:11] | No matter how many times I reach out to Dwight, | 无论我怎么接近德怀特 |
| [04:14] | he doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me. | 他都不想和我扯上一丁点关系 |
| [04:17] | It reminds me of my relationship with my son. | 让我想起了我和我儿子的关系 |
| [04:19] | Except there, I’m the Dwight. | 但这次，我变成德怀特了 |
| [04:22] | Who’s the biggest client in the state? | 谁是这个州最大的顾客？ |
| [04:24] | I say we go get ’em, whatever it takes. | 我说去把他们抢过来，不惜代价 |
| [04:26] | What do you guys say? | 你们怎么想？ |
| [04:28] | Yes. Right? | –好 –是吧？ |
| [04:29] | Let’s do it. Or my other idea, 50,000 tiny clients. | –就这么做 –或者是我的另一个想法，五万个小客户 |
| [04:33] | Yeah, I say that we just go for it. | 没错，我们就这么做吧 |
| [04:37] | Is that ball lighter than usual? | 这球比正常的球轻吗？ |
| [04:39] | Is that a Chinatown knockoff? | –是唐人街买的翻版吗？ –是在“玩具反斗城”买的 |
| [04:40] | That’s Toys “R” Us, I think. | |
| [04:41] | No, that’s definitely a knockoff. | 不，它绝对是个翻版 |
| [04:42] | You can feel the center of gravity is off. | 你能感觉到重心是不对的 |
| [04:44] | Feel that, what do you think? | –感觉到了吧？你怎么看？ –是啊，完全感觉到了 |
| [04:46] | Oh, yeah, totally. | |
| [04:47] | Jim, you got ripped off big time. | –杰姆，你上当了 –迪安杰罗！ |
| [04:49] | Deangelo! | |
| [04:51] | See what I did there? That’s what you need to do. | 看到没？你要做的就是这个 |
| [04:53] | Just add a little English. The British are coming. | 加点英国腔，英国人要来了 |
| [04:55] | – Yes. – Deangelo’s open! | –好的 –迪安杰罗的开局！ |
| [04:57] | Hey, Ry. Your department’s killing it, baby. | 嘿，莱恩，你的部门真要命 |
| [05:00] | Hey! My pleasure, my treasure. | 嘿！我乐意，机会难得嘛 |
| [05:03] | Keep it up. | 保持佳绩 |
| [05:04] | The problem with having it, or, the X factor, | 使用“它”或是“不确定因素” |
| [05:09] | or whatever it is you wanna call it, | 或着管你怎么叫它 |
| [05:11] | is that it’s impossible to put into words | 问题在于 你想说的话很难用言语来表达 |
| [05:15] | what you’re bringing to the table. | |
| [05:18] | So, to make things simpler for Deangelo, I just, without lying, | 所以，为了便于迪安杰罗理解 我在不撒谎的前提下 |
| [05:21] | strongly implied that I’m Kelly’s supervisor. | 强烈暗示他我是凯莉的主管 |
| [05:24] | It’s not even that much of a stretch. | 这其实没那么夸张 她几乎就是按我说的做的 |
| [05:25] | She pretty much does whatever I say. | |
| [05:27] | What? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. | –什么？ –很抱歉 |
| [05:30] | Why should I pretend that you are my boss? | 我为什么要假装你是我的老板？ |
| [05:32] | Because what would you have done in that situation, Kelly? | 因为你在这种情形下会怎么做，凯莉？ |
| [05:34] | I’ll tell you what I would have done for you. I’d lie for you. | 告诉你我会为你做什么 我会为你撒谎 |
| [05:36] | Yeah, but you lie all the time. You lie for no reason. | 是啊，但是你总在撒谎 无缘无故地撒谎 |
| [05:39] | Ryan, you just like to lie. | 莱恩，你喜欢撒谎 |
| [05:40] | I’d die for you, too. | 我也会为你去死 |
| [05:42] | You really would? | 你当真？ |
| [05:44] | Hey, Kelly Kapoor, if I don’t have those call logs on my desk, | 嘿，凯莉卡波 如果没有我桌上的那些电话记录 |
| [05:47] | we’re just gonna have to evaluate your future at the company. | 我们就要评估你在公司的未来了 |
| [05:52] | Sure thing, Mr. Howard. | 没问题，霍华德先生 |
| [05:54] | Glad he’s not my boss. | 很庆幸你不是我的老板 |
| [05:57] | You’re the best, thank you. | 你是最棒的，谢谢你 |
| [06:03] | You know, I have a cousin who cracked the secret formula | 你知道，我有个表哥 破解了某个流行饮料的秘方 |
| [06:06] | for a certain popular cola that I shall not name. | 当然我不会提那个饮料的名字 |
| [06:09] | So I’ve never had to buy it. True story. | 所以我从来不用花钱买，真人真事 |
| [06:12] | I just drink my cousin’s. | 我就喝表哥做的 |
| [06:14] | Congratulations on your one cousin. | 恭喜你表哥 我有70个，而且一个比一个好 |
| [06:16] | I have 70, each one better than the last. | |
| [06:20] | You know what? Straight up, why don’t you like me? | 你知道吗？直白点，你为啥不喜欢我？ |
| [06:23] | I’m just not a suck up like everyone else around here, okay? | 我可不像这里其他人那样 是个马屁精，好吗？ |
| [06:27] | I do my job well, so why don’t you just leave me alone, | 我这份工作做得很好，所以你走开 |
| [06:31] | and let me do it. Okay? | 让我干活儿，好吗？ |
| [06:34] | Oh, no. | 别 |
| [06:35] | What… Okay? | –啥？ –好吗？ |
| [06:37] | I’m gonna win you over. No, you’re not. | –我能赢你 –不，你赢不了我 |
| [06:39] | Yes, I am. No. | –能 –不能 |
| [06:40] | Oh, yes. No. | –能 –不能 |
| [06:41] | Yes. No. | –能 –不能 |
| [06:42] | Yes! No! | –能！ –不能！ |
| [06:43] | Yes! Yes! No! No! | –能！ –不能！ |
| [06:45] | Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! | 能！ |
| [06:48] | Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes… | 能！ |
| [06:50] | Uh-oh. | |
| [06:52] | This former administrative assistant | 这个前行政助理把“行政”跟“助理”写错了 |
| [06:54] | misspelled “administrative,” and “assistant.” | |
| [06:56] | The winner. | 赢家 |
| [06:58] | Under special skills, Mr. Don Finer put juggling. | 在“特殊技能”一栏下面 唐芬纳先生写的是“变戏法” |
| [07:05] | What’s wrong with juggling, Darryl? | 变戏法怎么了，达瑞尔？ |
| [07:07] | I’m a big juggler. | 变戏法我超牛的 |
| [07:09] | I actually perform a motivational juggling routine. | 我的戏法一般都鼓舞人心 |
| [07:12] | Seriously? Oh, yeah. | –真的？ –真的 |
| [07:15] | I’d do it for you here, but… | 我可以在这儿变，不过… |
| [07:17] | What would you say this room is? 300 square feet? 320? | 你觉得这房间有多大？ 约28平方米？30？ |
| [07:20] | Three-twenty, just free-balling it. | 30平方米，随便猜猜 |
| [07:23] | It’s a little cramped. | 有点儿挤 |
| [07:26] | How many square feet out there? Seventeen, eighteen hundo? | 那边有多少平方米？ 大概158？167平方米？ |
| [07:29] | Oh, I think it’s 18 hundo. | 我觉得差不多是167 |
| [07:31] | Give or take. | 差不多吧 |
| [07:33] | Sorry, gang. | 抱歉，大伙儿 |
| [07:35] | I thought my juggling stuff was in the trunk of my car, but it’s not. | 我以为变戏法的玩意儿在后备箱 不过没有 |
| [07:38] | Oh, no, do you think it was stolen? | 不是吧，你觉得被偷了？ |
| [07:40] | I got you covered, boss. | 没事，我罩着你 |
| [07:42] | Used to play with the parabolas myself. | 我过去常自己玩丢球 |
| [07:45] | Got some extra balls. Hey! Oh! | 这儿有些球 嘿！ |
| [07:48] | Sorry, I never touch another juggler’s instruments. | 抱歉，我从不碰别的戏法师的工具 |
| [07:54] | You know, we’re all here, I’ve got the music cued. | 你看，我们都在这儿 我能感受到音乐的节奏 |
| [07:56] | Why don’t I just do my routine without the juggling balls? | 为啥不来个例行杂耍，不拿球？ |
| [08:00] | Prepare to go into the danger zone. | 准备进入危险区 |
| [08:08] | Oh, wow, you weren’t kidding. No, never. | –你不是在开玩笑吧？ –从不开玩笑 |
| [08:12] | Can someone please throw me a fifth ball? If you dare. | 谁能给我第五个球？ 如果你敢的话 |
| [08:18] | Incoming! | 来了！ |
| [08:20] | And we’re on. | 接住 |
| [08:22] | Remember, nothing’s impossible. | 记住，没什么是不可能的 |
| [08:40] | Phyllis, where’s Phyllis? | 菲利斯在哪儿？ |
| [08:41] | Here. | 在这里 |
| [08:43] | Do you believe in me, Phyllis? | 你信任我吗，菲利斯？ |
| [08:45] | Yes. ‘Cause I believe in you. | –信任 –因为我也信任你 |
| [08:47] | Oh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [08:53] | Feel that connection? | 感受到了吗？ |
| [08:55] | Don’t move your head, please, thank you. | 头别动，拜托，谢谢 |
| [09:00] | Big hand for Phyllis. | 请为菲利斯热烈鼓掌 |
| [09:02] | That took a lot of guts. | 需要很大勇气的哦 |
| [09:11] | I’m Deangelo Vickers. | 我是迪安杰罗威克斯 |
| [09:13] | Thank you so much. Hope you learned something. | 非常感谢，希望大家有所收获 |
| [09:18] | He didn’t drop a single ball. | 一个球也没掉过 |
| [09:22] | Look. | 快看 |
| [09:24] | I’m juggling eggs and bowling balls. | 我在抛鸡蛋和保龄球 |
| [09:26] | I’m juggling with one hand. | 只用一只手 |
| [09:29] | No hands. | 不用手 |
| [09:31] | What could he possibly stand to gain from a fake juggling routine? | 他这样假装杂耍能图点啥？ |
| [09:34] | What could he possibly stand to gain from a real juggling routine? | 就算是真杂耍又能怎样？ |
| [09:38] | How can you keep defending him? | 你为什么一直维护他？ |
| [09:40] | He’s good at his job, and I like working for him. | 他能力很强，而且我跟他干活 |
| [09:42] | Of course you do, Jim. You’re a man. | 你当然是，杰姆，你是个男的 |
| [09:45] | Deangelo is a huge sexist. | 迪安杰罗严重性别歧视 |
| [09:47] | Whoa, whoa, whoa. | 哇哦 |
| [09:48] | I think if he was sexist, I’d be able to tell. | 他是不是性别歧视，我最有发言权 |
| [09:51] | I took a crap load of women’s studies courses at Cornell. | 我在康奈尔学过一系列女性研究课程 |
| [09:54] | And I wrote my own companion piece to The Vagina Monologues, | 而且本人还为《阴道独白》写了姊妹篇 |
| [09:56] | called The Penis Apologies. So I know a thing or two. | 称作“阳具默示录”，所以我略知一二 |
| [09:59] | Okay, then how about | 好吧，那为何 |
| [10:01] | I’m the head of the accounting department, | 我身为会计部主任 |
| [10:02] | but he only ever talks to Kevin. | 他却永远只和凯文说话？ |
| [10:04] | What about Pam and Kelly? Also department heads, | 还有潘和凯莉，也是部门领导 |
| [10:07] | but has he ever met with you? | 他有和你交谈过吗？ |
| [10:08] | Or even asked you to do anything? | 他有叫你做过什么吗？ |
| [10:15] | How could I not see it? You’re so right. | 对啊，我怎么没发现呢？你太对了 |
| [10:17] | Why don’t you talk to him about it? | 你为什么不和他说说？ |
| [10:18] | And say what? “Hey, Deangelo, are you shy or just a sexist?” | 说啥呢？“嗨，迪安杰罗 你是拘谨还是性别歧视？” |
| [10:22] | Why don’t you just tell him how his actions are being perceived | 你为什么不和他说说 他在办公室的行为 |
| [10:24] | by the women in this office? | 让女性是啥感受？ |
| [10:25] | Mmm-hmm. | |
| [10:27] | And if he doesn’t listen, then he can kiss his penis goodbye. | 如果他不听，那就和他的小鸡鸡说拜拜 |
| [10:31] | Snip-snip. Am I right, girls? | 咔嚓！对吧，各位？ |
| [10:35] | Hey, you got a second? | 嗨，能打扰一下吗？ |
| [10:37] | Yeah, I got tons of time, this job’s a joke. | 当然，我有的是时间 这工作太简单了 |
| [10:39] | So what’s up? | 有什么事？ |
| [10:42] | Really, it’s nothing. I was just talking to Angela. | 实际上没啥事 我刚才和安杰拉交谈了下 |
| [10:45] | And she was… | 她说… |
| [10:47] | Hey. Saw Jim come in, are we meeting? | 看见杰姆进来了，开会了吗？ |
| [10:49] | Yeah, sure, let’s make it a meeting. | 当然，我们开个小会 |
| [10:51] | If it’s all right, can I just have, like, | 若不介意的话，能单独给我一分钟吗？ 只是说下… |
| [10:53] | one minute alone, just to go over… | |
| [10:54] | What’s the big secret? Why are you even whispering? | 是什么大秘密？为啥你还要小声说？ |
| [10:57] | Come on, it’s the guys. | –拜托，都是纯爷们 –我知道，都是纯爷们 |
| [10:59] | I know, just the guys. | |
| [11:01] | Well, maybe that’s part of the problem, I think. | 好吧，可能这就是问题所在 |
| [11:04] | So what happened was I was talking to some of the department heads. | 所以就在刚才 我和一些部门领导交谈了下 |
| [11:07] | Right. | –对 –一些女性部门领导 |
| [11:09] | Some of the female department heads. Uh-oh. | |
| [11:11] | – Yeah. – Right? | –是的 –对吗？ |
| [11:12] | Hot. Maybe there’s a vibe out there | –刺激 –可能办公室里 |
| [11:15] | with certain members of the office | 有些人感觉到 |
| [11:17] | that you are a little sexist, or… | 你有点性别歧视，或者… |
| [11:22] | Damn! Whoa! | –我靠！ –哇！ |
| [11:24] | Wait. Are you serious? Who feels this way? | –别紧张 –你是认真的？谁这么觉得？ |
| [11:28] | Oh, like, nobody, it was… Pam? | –没谁，这是… –潘？ |
| [11:31] | – Was it Pam? – Oh, my gosh. | –是潘吗？ –我的天 |
| [11:32] | That sounds like Pam. You know how she gets. | 听起来是潘，你知道她为人 |
| [11:34] | Deangelo, she can get really bitchy. | 迪安杰罗，她可以很使坏的 |
| [11:38] | – Kevin… – Guys. | –凯文… –伙计们 |
| [11:40] | Hold on. Doesn’t matter who, okay? | 打住，不管是谁，好吗？ |
| [11:43] | I’m just happy that Jim brought it to my attention, | 我很高兴杰姆告诉我这点 |
| [11:45] | because, honestly, I had no idea. | 因为老实讲，我毫不知情 |
| [11:48] | That’s awesome. Thank you. | –太好了 –谢谢你 |
| [11:50] | Mom, Ryan’s taking us out to dinner tonight. | 妈妈，莱恩今晚带我们出去吃晚饭 |
| [11:52] | No, no, he’s not gonna stand us up like he did last time. | 不，他不会像上次那样放我们鸽子了 |
| [11:55] | He won’t ever stand us up again. | 他不会再耍我们了 |
| [11:57] | So I am the new Customer Service supervisor… | 我现在是新客服主管… |
| [12:00] | When Deangelo’s around. | 当迪安杰罗在的时候 |
| [12:02] | And I’m also a very dutiful boyfriend when… | 而且我也是个很本分的男友 |
| [12:06] | All the time. | All the time. –一直是 –一直是 |
| [12:09] | Erin, do you mind running down to the lobby | 艾琳，能下楼帮我 |
| [12:11] | and bringing up my brand new executive assistant? | 带新招的行政助理上来吗？ |
| [12:14] | Absolutely. Hey, who’d you end up hiring? | –当然 –嗨，你最后招谁了？ |
| [12:16] | I’m glad you asked, Jim. | 很高兴你询问，杰姆 |
| [12:18] | Because, apparently, there’s a rumor | 因为貌似流传着一个谣言 我有性别歧视 |
| [12:19] | running around here that I’m a sexist. | |
| [12:21] | Mmm-hmm. | |
| [12:22] | I can’t work here effectively if you guys think I’m something that I’m not. | 我没法投入工作，如果你们误会我 |
| [12:27] | I’m not a sexist. | 我没有性别歧视 |
| [12:30] | Raise your hand if you have a vagina. | 举起你的手，如果你有阴道 |
| [12:40] | Raise your hand if someone you love has a vagina. | 举起你的手，若你爱的人有阴道 |
| [12:44] | Yeah, yeah, okay. Just about everyone. | 对，好的，每一个人 |
| [12:48] | What about Deangelo’s hand? | 迪安杰罗举了几只手？ |
| [12:50] | Oh, wow. He’s got ’em both up. | 哇，双手高举 |
| [12:54] | Yeah. | 是哪 |
| [12:57] | Uh-huh. | |
| [12:58] | Yeah. So it bothers me, | 所以听到这谣言 |
| [13:01] | when I hear that there’s gossip around here | 我很困惑，说我比较轻视女同志 |
| [13:04] | that I treat women lesser than men. | |
| [13:07] | Okay? Frankly, | 好吗？显然 |
| [13:09] | we all look a little ridiculous when that happens. | 发生这种事，我们都会觉得可笑 |
| [13:12] | I’m not a feminist, | 我不是个女权主义者 |
| [13:13] | but I think that the men in this office | 但我觉得在这办公室里 |
| [13:15] | are being given chances that the women aren’t. | 男同志比女同志得到了更多机会 |
| [13:18] | Dwight. | 德怀特 |
| [13:20] | What’s your take? | –你认为呢？ –现在在争论啥？ |
| [13:21] | What’s the argument here? | |
| [13:22] | NBA, WNBA. One is a sport, one is a joke. | 全美篮球协会，美国女子篮球联盟 一项是运动，另一个是娱乐 |
| [13:26] | I love sports, I love jokes. | 我爱运动，也爱娱乐 |
| [13:28] | Room for all. Man, you’re smart. | –各取所需 –你太聪明了 |
| [13:31] | Oh, hey! Hi. Hello. Hi. | –你好 –嗨 |
| [13:34] | Welcome. Everyone, I’d like you to please welcome Jordan Garfield. | 欢迎，大家注意 热烈欢迎约旦加菲尔德 |
| [13:41] | This is everyone. Hello. | –各位同志 –你好 |
| [13:43] | So, Jordan, where did you work before? | 约旦，之前你在哪工作？ |
| [13:46] | A law office? | –律师事务所？ –不，Anthropologie |
| [13:47] | No, Anthropologie. | |
| [13:49] | “We don’t have this and that size.” Pretty lame. | “我们没有这或者那尺寸” 挺不怎么样的 |
| [13:52] | Lame? You worked at Anthropologie? | 不怎么样？ 你居然在Anthropologie 工作？ |
| [13:54] | Yeah. That’s, like, my dream job. | –是 –那是我的梦想 |
| [13:56] | How did you even get that job? | 你是怎么加入的？ |
| [13:57] | Well, I… You chose this job over that job? | –好吧，我… –你从那工作跳槽来这？ |
| [13:59] | Okay, okay, back to work, Kelly. | 好了，回去工作，凯莉 我们今天有很多事 |
| [14:01] | We have a lot to get done today. | |
| [14:03] | So, is this your first office job then? | 所以，这是你第一份办公室工作？ |
| [14:07] | Yeah. Yup. | –是啊 –对 |
| [14:08] | Wow. No corporate experience whatsoever. | –哇 –没有共事经验又怎样？ |
| [14:11] | I didn’t want anyone with any bad habits. | 我就不想有人带着坏习惯 |
| [14:13] | Nice. | 赞 |
| [14:16] | Jim, are you coming? | 杰姆，你来吗？ |
| [14:19] | – Oh, yeah, did he text us? – Yeah. | –当然，他群发短信了？ –对的 |
| [14:25] | No! | 不去！ |
| [14:28] | Jim, what are you doing? Get in there. | 杰姆，你愣着干嘛？快进去啊 |
| [14:29] | This is not the time to take a stand, at least he likes one of us. | 识时务者为俊杰，俩人至少得喜欢一个 |
| [14:31] | He didn’t text me. Yes! | –他没短信我 –对！ |
| [14:34] | I’m in. | 我入选了 |
| [14:35] | Andy, what are you doing? | 安迪，你干嘛呢？ |
| [14:38] | I’m going in into the belly of the beast. | 我准备先打入敌人内部 |
| [14:41] | I’m gonna infiltrate and change from within. | 然后直捣黄龙，由内及外 |
| [14:46] | What’s up, man cave? | 我来也，男人帮！ |
| [14:51] | Just go in. Hmm? | 进去就行了 |
| [14:52] | Just go in, he probably just forgot to text you. | 进去就行了，他可能忘发给你了 |
| [14:54] | Internally for office use, | 办公室内部专用 |
| [14:58] | where do we get our paper from? | 我们的纸哪里提供？ |
| [15:00] | Do we go and… | 我们有… |
| [15:02] | Do we have that system? Don’t worry, | –我们有这套系统吗？ –别紧张 |
| [15:03] | the first day’s always the hardest. | –第一天往往最难熬 –没错 |
| [15:04] | Yeah. | |
| [15:09] | Hey, Jim. Yeah? | –嘿，杰姆 –在 |
| [15:11] | Can I help you? Nope. | –你有什么事儿吗？ –没有 |
| [15:14] | Just… | 就… |
| [15:23] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [15:39] | So, he kicked you out of the inner circle, huh? | –核心圈子不欢迎你了？ –没核心圈子这玩意儿 |
| [15:42] | No, there is no inner circle. | |
| [15:46] | Dwight? | 德怀特？ |
| [15:47] | Deangelo wanted me to ask you if there’s anything I could help you with? | 迪安杰罗说有事儿尽管说话 |
| [15:50] | Really? | 是吗？ |
| [15:52] | Anything? | 什么事都可以吗？ |
| [15:53] | Do you need anything? | 那你有什么需要吗？ |
| [15:55] | Deangelo? | 迪安杰罗？ |
| [15:56] | Tell your whore to leave me alone! | 让你的贱人滚远点！ |
| [16:00] | Okay, I do not wanna waste your time, so I will keep this brief! | 为了节省时间，闲话少说！ |
| [16:05] | Now, word on the street is Mercy Hospital, | 传言说道慈爱医院 |
| [16:08] | back on the market. | 又有生意了 |
| [16:09] | Deangelo would like you to put together a sales pitch for next week. | 迪安杰罗要你们 把下周的推销提案准备起来 |
| [16:12] | Deangelo has also recently learned about the Barnacle Project, | 迪安杰罗最近对海生介的项目感兴趣 |
| [16:17] | which is a non-profit organization based in Mystic, Connecticut, | 康乃狄克州米斯蒂克的一家非盈利组织 |
| [16:20] | that assists in the scraping of barnacles… | 正在做清理海生介的业务… |
| [16:22] | So this is my life | 我就这么毁了 |
| [16:25] | until I win the lottery | 除非哪天中了乐透 |
| [16:29] | or Pam finally writes that series of young adult books. | 或潘能写完那系列有关年轻人的书 |
| [16:32] | So, one afternoon while walking home from school, | 某天放学回家的下午 高一怪杰贝基沃尔特斯 |
| [16:34] | quirky 10th-grader Becky Walters | 在草丛里发现了一只受伤的草泥马 |
| [16:36] | finds a wounded Pegasus in the woods. | |
| [16:39] | And she becomes “The Horse Flyer.” | 然后她就会“骑着草泥马飞”了 |
| [16:44] | Hey, Kelly, that’s the last time | 嘿，凯莉，别再找我谈 |
| [16:45] | I’m gonna talk to you about your paycheck, okay? | 薪水的事儿了，成吗？ |
| [16:47] | We pay you a fair salary here and if you’re only here for the money, | 我们的薪水很丰厚，一心为了钱的话 |
| [16:50] | maybe you shouldn’t be here at all. | 你根本就不该来 |
| [16:51] | No one likes a money grubber. | 没人喜欢贪财的人 |
| [16:55] | I’m sorry, Mr. Howard. I apologize for grubbing for money… | 我错了，霍华德先生 爱钱是我不对… |
| [16:59] | I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I’m sorry, I just can’t do it. | 不行，姐再也忍不了了 抱歉，我演不下去了 |
| [17:03] | Deangelo, Ryan is not my boss, okay? | 迪安杰罗，莱恩不是我的上级 |
| [17:05] | Frankly, he hasn’t had a real job here in years. | 说真的，他都打好几年酱油了 |
| [17:07] | Whoa! | |
| [17:08] | That’s hilarious, Kelly. | –这样讲太离谱了，凯莉 –不，他是个大骗子 |
| [17:10] | No, he’s just a big fraud, Deangelo. | |
| [17:12] | He’s like Rango. | 和兰戈一样 |
| [17:13] | He doesn’t work here, basically, | 他都不算这里的员工 |
| [17:15] | just like the way Rango didn’t save those animals. | 好比那些动物根本不是兰戈救的 |
| [17:17] | It was just a big misunderstanding. | 全部都是误会 |
| [17:20] | Is this true, Ryan? | 这是真的吗，莱恩？ |
| [17:22] | I did not see Rango. | 我没看过兰戈 |
| [17:24] | Okay, I don’t have time for this “he said, she said.” | 停，谁说了啥我没时间深究 |
| [17:26] | He’s not saying anything! | 人家明明没说啥 |
| [17:28] | It’s too murky. | 好复杂 |
| [17:29] | I like Ryan. You seem kind of hysterical to me. | 我喜欢莱恩这小伙 而你，太歇斯底里了 |
| [17:34] | Ryan’s your supervisor. Let’s just leave it that way. | 莱恩是你的主管，这样的安排不变 |
| [17:36] | But it’s not fair. I’ve been working here for such a long time… | 不公平，我在这里工作这么久了… |
| [17:41] | Close call. | 真的好险 |
| [17:42] | Okay, why don’t you just finish this stuff up and leave it on my desk | 你把这些做完后，放到我办公桌上 |
| [17:45] | and I will see you at your place around 2:00 a.m.? | 然后半夜两点你家见，好吗？ |
| [17:56] | Oh, angry, angry dunk. | 绝对是暴扣啊 |
| [17:59] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [18:00] | It sounds like you guys are having a lot of fun, | 听起来你们玩得很开心 |
| [18:02] | but it’s really loud and some of us are trying to work, so… | 不过有点吵到别人工作了，所以… |
| [18:05] | Do you think you could do it a little more quietly? | 能不能声音稍微小点？ |
| [18:07] | Well, that’s gonna be tough because we’re getting a dunking clinic | 恐怕很难，魔术师乔丹正上 |
| [18:09] | from Magic Jordan himself. | 扣篮课呢 |
| [18:12] | You mean Michael Jordan? | 你是说迈克尔乔丹？ |
| [18:16] | Total brain burp. | –纯属灵机一动 –我不是乔丹 |
| [18:17] | I’m no MJ. | |
| [18:19] | Please. | 拜托 |
| [18:20] | I can do his dunk from free-throw line, though. | 我能完成他的罚球线起跳灌篮 |
| [18:23] | Whoa! | 哇哦！ |
| [18:25] | Damn! Mad respect from a brother! | 擦，哥们真的崇拜死你了！ |
| [18:28] | The man is paying me to take Chinese. I will say what I need to say. | 他花钱让我学汉语，有些马屁我必须拍 |
| [18:32] | And soon, I will say it in Chinese. | 很快我就能用汉语拍了 |
| [18:37] | Okay, well, it’s just really loud. | 好了，真的太吵了 |
| [18:38] | Okay. We’ll keep that in mind. | 好了，知道了 |
| [18:41] | All right, ladies. Back to the game. Do it! | –好了，姐们，游戏继续 –回去吧！ |
| [18:44] | And, Jim, come on in. | 杰姆过来 |
| [18:48] | You’re back in. | 你又重新进圈子了 |
| [18:51] | You know what? Instead of a game, why don’t we do an exhibition? | 知道吗？真人秀可能会比比赛好哟 |
| [18:55] | Love to see that dunk of yours. | 想看你扣篮 |
| [18:57] | Yeah, we’ll set that up one day. | 我们改天讨论吧 |
| [18:59] | Today. Now, maybe. | 择日不如撞日，就今天 |
| [19:01] | ‘Cause we have a hoop downstairs, | 楼下有篮筐 |
| [19:02] | and a real ball, so you don’t have to mime it. | 有球，直接来真的吧 |
| [19:06] | Yeah, I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [19:07] | Why not? | 为什么不呢？ |
| [19:09] | Only because | 一般人 |
| [19:10] | no one has called NASA to request a lift off. | 可不会班门弄斧啊 |
| [19:15] | Let’s go downstairs, okay? Let’s do it. | 下楼吧，好吗？走吧 |
| [19:17] | Pass. | 不去了 |
| [19:19] | If I wanted to see a pissing contest, | 要是我想看场傻逼比赛 不如直接把我家莫斯关鸡窝里去 |
| [19:20] | I’d lock Mose in the chicken coop. | |
| [19:22] | Damn it, Dwight, enough! | 他妈的，德怀特，够了！ |
| [19:24] | Get your ass downstairs, or find a new place to sell paper! | 赶紧下来，或者给我滚蛋！ |
| [19:32] | Okay, a little about me. | 好吧，介绍下我 |
| [19:35] | I respond to strong leadership. | 我对强有力的领导人很服从 |
| [19:39] | All right, there you go. Seems a little close. | –好的，该你了 –有点近哦 |
| [19:40] | You’re sure that’s the real foul line? | –你确定这是罚球线？ –大概四点五米 |
| [19:42] | Fifteen feet from the baseline. | |
| [19:43] | So you need me to move it in? | 需要划近点吗？ |
| [19:45] | Nah, that’s 15. | 嗯，的确是四点五米 |
| [19:47] | Yeah. Okay. | –是 –好的 |
| [19:48] | And, you know what, to make it interesting, | 为了让游戏更有趣 |
| [19:50] | Jordan, why don’t you sit underneath the basket? | 约旦来坐在篮筐下吧 |
| [19:52] | Seriously? Yeah, come on. | –真的吗？ –对，来吧 |
| [19:54] | I’ll dunk over you, best seat in the house. | 我直接从你头顶上灌篮 全场最佳座位哪 |
| [19:56] | I don’t… I don’t think I can do that. | 我…我恐怕做不来 |
| [19:58] | I’m holding your jewelry. | –我拿着你们的首饰呢 –那好吧 |
| [19:59] | Right, yeah. | |
| [20:00] | Okay, fair enough. Kevin, you do it. | 的确，凯文你来 |
| [20:02] | Yes, okay. | –好的 –为什么不是你？ |
| [20:03] | Why don’t you? | |
| [20:05] | Here? | 这？ |
| [20:06] | Someone wanna sit in Kevin’s lap? | 有人想坐在凯文的大腿上吗？ |
| [20:07] | Angela? No. | –安杰拉？ –不必 |
| [20:08] | Oscar? No, thank you. | –奥斯卡？ –不用了，多谢 |
| [20:10] | Okay, Jimmy, this is for you, to show you that anything is possible. | 好吧，杰米，你来 瞧瞧任何事是有可能的 |
| [20:12] | Fantastic. All right? | –好极了 –好了？ |
| [20:14] | Yup. This is also for the troops. | –是的 –这也是为了大家伙儿 |
| [20:25] | Doctor is in! | 进了！ |
| [20:40] | Now what? | 现在该怎么办？ |
| [20:48] | Deangelo? | 迪安杰罗？ |
| [20:50] | Oh, my God, are you all right? | 天哪，你还好吧？ |
| [20:52] | Erin, will you call 911, please? Okay. | –行了，打911吧 –马上 |
| [20:55] | Who should I say is calling? Erin. | –该说谁打的呢？ –艾琳 |
| [21:23] | Dry sweat, yeah, I get it. | 冷汗，嗯，我懂 |
| [21:26] | Okay, we’re gonna work on it. | 好，我们会努力的 |