| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Christmas time is here! | 圣诞节来了！ |
| [00:05] | Wow! Thanks, guys That sounded amazing | 谢谢伙伴们 听起来很棒 |
| [00:07] | Hi, I’m Andy Bernard and I am the first office Santa ever | 嘿，我是安迪伯纳德 本办公室的第一个圣诞老人 |
| [00:13] | to make holiday wishes come true | 让节日愿望成真 |
| [00:15] | Who’s excited to get their holiday wishes? | 谁特别想实现节日许愿？ |
| [00:17] | Holiday wishes. What’s that, Stanley? | –节日愿望 –那是什么，斯坦利？ |
| [00:20] | We know exactly what holiday you’re referring to | 我们知道你说的节日什么？ |
| [00:23] | It is important to be mindful of all belief systems at our holiday party | 在我们的节日派对注重所有信仰体系很重要 |
| [00:28] | I’ve been here 18 years and I’ve suffered | 我已经在这儿18年了 |
| [00:30] | through some weird thematic Christmases | 经历过几次古怪主题的圣诞节 |
| [00:32] | A Honolulu Christmas a Pulp Fiction Christmas | 火奴鲁鲁圣诞节 低俗小说圣诞节 |
| [00:36] | a Muslim Christmas Moroccan Christmas | 穆斯林圣诞节 摩洛哥圣诞节 |
| [00:39] | Mo Rocca Christmas | 莫罗卡圣诞节 都不是我想要的 |
| [00:42] | Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas | 圣诞节就是圣诞节 就是圣诞节 |
| [00:44] | I got Stanley tickets to see Lewis Black for his birthday | 斯坦利生日我给他弄到 刘易斯布莱克喜剧的门票 |
| [00:49] | Might not have been the best idea | 或许不是最好的主意 |
| [00:52] | Kwanzaa wreath | 我不想没有宽扎花环 |
| [00:53] | I don’t need a dreidel in my face That’s its own thing. | 我脸上不需要陀螺 跟节日无关 |
| [00:56] | And who’s that black Santa for? | 为什么会有黑人圣诞老人？ 我不关心 |
| [00:59] | I know Santa ain’t black I could care less. | 我知道圣诞老人不是黑人 我才不管呢 |
| [01:03] | I want Christmas. Just give me plain | 我想过圣诞节 只给我个简单的“婴儿耶稣躺在马槽”的圣诞节 |
| [01:06] | baby-Jesus-lying-in-a-manger Christmas | 斯克兰顿 欢迎您 办公室 |
| [01:20] | What is the status on my wish? Fulfilled | –我的愿望怎么样了？ –实现了 |
| [01:22] | Brought my bicycle so I can be your designated driver later, | 给我买个自行车 我之后就能做你的指定司机了 |
| [01:25] | in the event that you drink too much which is by no means required | 在你喝多了绝对需要我 |
| [01:29] | What about my wish that we don’t have to attend meetings | 那我的不参加会降低我们 |
| [01:31] | that degrade our sense of adulthood? | –成人感知力的会议的愿望怎么办 |
| [01:33] | That, I cannot do | –那个我办不到 |
| [01:34] | But I did get you an acre of property on the moon | 但我能在月球上给你搞到一英亩地产 |
| [01:38] | Where, dark side or light side? | 哪里？明处还是暗处？ |
| [01:39] | Light side Is it by the Sea of Tranquility? | –明处 –在静海旁边？ |
| [01:42] | As a matter of fact, yes Directly adjacent. | 实际上是 紧邻着 |
| [01:45] | Beachfront Thank you, Andy. | –海滩上 –谢谢，安迪 |
| [01:47] | So whose wish is next? What about Santa’s wish? | 下一个是谁的愿望？ 圣诞老人的愿望怎么样？ |
| [01:51] | My biggest wish is that you a get along well with Jessica | 我最大的愿望就是 与杰西卡良好相处 |
| [01:57] | Come on, guys, Jessica | 好啦，伙伴们，杰西卡 |
| [02:00] | Jim, tell them who Jessica is | 吉姆，告诉他们谁是杰西卡 |
| [02:01] | She’s not your grandmother is she? | 不是你奶奶，对吧？ |
| [02:03] | Gam-Gam’s name is Ruth, Jim | 奶奶的名字是露丝，吉姆 |
| [02:05] | You should know. I introduced you on speakerphone that time | 你应该知道 那次我在电话里介绍了你 |
| [02:08] | Jessica is my super serious girlfriend, | 杰西卡是我超严肃的女友 |
| [02:10] | who is seriously awesome and seriously sexy. | 他超美超性感 |
| [02:13] | Only thing that’s not serious by the way, our repartee | 唯一不好的就是我们的巧言善辩 |
| [02:16] | That’s great When you know, you know | 很好 你知道 |
| [02:18] | Hey, what’s Ruth’s deal, man? | 嘿伙计，露丝是什么样？ |
| [02:20] | Totally out of your league | 完全跟你不是一类 |
| [02:22] | So, in summation, ho ho | 所以总结就是 吼吼吼 |
| [02:24] | please be nice to Jessica and mistletoe | 对杰西卡好一点 |
| [02:26] | is not an excuse for sexual assault | 槲寄生不是性骚扰的借口 |
| [02:27] | And don’t go near Gam-Gam | 还有不要接近奶奶 |
| [02:32] | I love Jessica, and I haven’t even met her yet | 我爱杰西卡 我甚至还没有见过她 |
| [02:34] | It’s like, we don’t even need to meet, you know? | 就像是我们不需要见面 你知道 |
| [02:37] | I already love you. Stay home | 我已经爱上你了 |
| [02:41] | I just want you to know that I will be mean | 呆在家里 |
| [02:43] | to Jessica, if you want me to be | 我只是想让你知道 你要是想我就会对杰西卡刻薄 |
| [02:44] | Oh, no, no, it’s fine, Kelly | –不，很好凯莉 |
| [02:45] | It’s really no problem. I was already planning on being mean to her. | –真没事 我已经打算对她刻薄了 |
| [02:48] | That’s okay I don’t want you to do that | 没关系 我不想你那样做 |
| [02:50] | Hello | 你好 |
| [02:52] | Merry Christmas, Erin | 圣诞节快乐，艾琳 |
| [02:54] | Kelly, happy Pancha Ganapati | 凯莉，Pancha Ganapati节快乐 |
| [02:57] | Ew. What is that? | 那是什么节？ |
| [02:58] | The five day Hindu celebration in December | 印度教12月五天的节日 |
| [03:01] | honouring the god Ganesh patron of the arts | 是纪念艺术之神象神 |
| [03:04] | Cool | 酷 |
| [03:05] | Hey, man. | Hey –嗨，伙伴们 –嘿 |
| [03:07] | How you holding up? | 大家怎么样？ |
| [03:10] | Because of your wife leaving you | 因为你妻子离开了你 |
| [03:11] | Kevin | 凯文 |
| [03:13] | I actually appreciate the human intimacy. | 我确实感激人类的亲密 |
| [03:15] | I feel like a kitten being cradled by a gorilla | 我感觉自己像是 被大猩猩养育的小猫咪 |
| [03:18] | Yeah | 是的 |
| [03:19] | It’s been 10 days since I had sexual intercourse | 我已经十天没有性生活了 |
| [03:22] | Well, you came to the right place. | 你来对地方了 |
| [03:25] | It… This party will cheer you right up | 这个派对会让你高兴起来 |
| [03:27] | I hope so. The corporate party was wretched | 希望如此 公司派对很糟糕 |
| [03:30] | I am so tired of the Black Eyed Peas | 我受够了“黑眼豆豆” |
| [03:34] | It’s rock and roll for people who don’t like rock and roll. | 那是给不喜欢摇滚的人听的摇滚乐 |
| [03:36] | It’s rap for people who don’t like rap | 是给不喜欢说唱的人听的说唱 |
| [03:39] | It’s pop for people who don’t like pop | 是给不喜欢流行音乐的人听的流行音乐 |
| [03:42] | Ah | |
| [03:44] | Heartbreaking | 让感动人 |
| [03:45] | Oh. Thank you | 谢谢 |
| [03:48] | Well, I hate to have to take my Santa hat off and put on my hard ass hat | 我讨厌摘掉圣诞老人帽子 戴上我这个大屁股帽子 |
| [03:55] | but this is serious | 但这样很严肃 |
| [03:59] | It’s come to my attention that somebody who shall remain nameless | 我注意到有人 |
| [04:02] | wants to switch desk clumps | 想要换办公桌 是谁我就不说了 |
| [04:05] | Fine with me. Jim can leave any time he wants | 我不介意 吉姆想离开就能离开 |
| [04:07] | Good-bye Wasn’t me | –再见 –不是我 |
| [04:08] | It wasn’t either of you | 也不是你 |
| [04:10] | Cathy wants to leave our clump? | 凯西想离开我们的办公桌？ |
| [04:12] | Don’t look. Who it was is not important | 不要看 是谁并不重要 |
| [04:16] | But she did say that your constant pranking | 她说了你不断恶作剧 |
| [04:18] | and one-upsmanship is driving her crazy. | 和专断让她很不高兴 |
| [04:21] | She or he. I just want to say this is not my fault | –她还是他 –我只是想说这不是我的错 |
| [04:24] | Okay, the weak always bully the strong | 好的，弱小的总是欺凌强大的 |
| [04:26] | contrary to what you see in the media | 与媒体上报道的相反 |
| [04:28] | acting in self-defense | 我总是表现得自我保护 |
| [04:30] | Occasionally preemptive self-defense | 偶尔会先发制人自我保护 |
| [04:33] | Ow! What are you doing? Hey! Hey! | –你在干什么？ –嘿！嘿！ |
| [04:35] | Respect the hat | 对帽子尊重点 |
| [04:37] | Pam never seemed to have a problem with us | 潘似乎从没有和大家 产生任何矛盾 |
| [04:39] | All right I’m gonna speak in a language you both understand | 好吧，我要用你们两个 都懂的语言来解释 |
| [04:43] | Moe-nay | “魔泥” |
| [04:45] | What was it? What is it? | –什么？ –什么？ |
| [04:47] | Money | 钱 |
| [04:48] | You both have sizeable Christmas bonuses coming your way | 你们两个将会收到 大笔圣诞节奖金 |
| [04:51] | If I catch either of you messing with the other | 要是让我抓到你们两个 谁捉弄另一个人 |
| [04:53] | I will give both bonuses to the other person | 我就会把奖金给另个人 |
| [04:56] | Can’t do that No, absolutely not. | –你不能这么做 –不，绝对不能 |
| [04:58] | You need consequences Okay, I want you both walking on eggshells. | 你们要承担后果 好吧 我想让你们两个都能互相体谅 |
| [05:05] | Hi, I’m Jessica. I’m looking for Andy | 嗨 我是杰西卡 我要找下安迪 |
| [05:08] | Jessica, yes. We don’t say hi. We hug | 杰西卡 是 我们不说嗨 我们都是拥抱 |
| [05:14] | I’m Erin. Sorry. Ooh | 我是艾琳 不好意思 |
| [05:17] | I hope you feel really welcome We all want you here | 希望你能感受到热情 |
| [05:19] | Oh | 我们都希望你来这儿 |
| [05:20] | My ex is meeting my sex | 我前女友符合我的性要求 |
| [05:24] | Which is always scary | 总是很可怕 |
| [05:26] | You know? And not just because you think they might talk about your penis. | 你知道吗？不仅仅是因为 他们有可能会谈论你的阴茎 |
| [05:30] | That’s just part of it | 这只是原因之一 |
| [05:32] | Hey! Jess, Erin | 嘿！杰西 艾琳 |
| [05:34] | I hope you’re not talking about my penis | 我希望你们不要谈论我的阴茎 |
| [05:35] | Hi | Hi –嗨 |
| [05:37] | Hey, everyone I want you to meet Jessica | –嗨 嗨，我想让大家见下杰西卡 |
| [05:40] | She is an assistant cross-country coach at Bryn Mawr. | 他是布林茅尔助理越野教练 |
| [05:43] | Wow | |
| [05:44] | Erin, by the way, amazing receptionist | 顺便介绍下，艾琳，优秀的接待员 |
| [05:47] | Oh, that’s great. Backbone of the office | 真好 办公室的支柱 |
| [05:50] | Which is funny, actually because my spine is a mess | 真有意思 实际上我的脊柱很弱 |
| [05:52] | What? Oh | –什么？ –脊柱侧屈 |
| [05:53] | Scoliosis. Had to wear a back brace for three years but I never did | –什么？ –脊柱侧屈 必须得戴三年的护腰带 但我没有戴 |
| [06:00] | Oh, no | 不 |
| [06:03] | Oh, no, it’s kicking in | 复发了 |
| [06:04] | Spontaneous scoliosis | –自发性脊柱侧屈 |
| [06:11] | Oh | –自发性脊柱侧屈 |
| [06:12] | This thing could take your arm off your head off. | 这个东西可以割掉你的手臂 割掉你的头 |
| [06:14] | You know, just exercise caution | 你知道，只是锻炼要小心 |
| [06:16] | Thank you All right | –谢谢 –不客气 |
| [06:17] | All right | 好吧 |
| [06:19] | Oh, yeah | 是的，还有 |
| [06:21] | and there’s a Christmas party upstairs tonight I wanted to tell you about | 楼上今晚有个圣诞节派对 我想告诉你一下 |
| [06:24] | Isn’t that just for popsicles? | 不就是有棒冰吗？ |
| [06:25] | Popsicles? | 棒冰？ |
| [06:26] | Yeah, like, upstairs people ‘Cause you got a stick up your butt. | 是的，楼上的人 你们屁股插根棍很高傲 |
| [06:29] | Ah. See, I thought it was because they’re all so rich | 听着，我觉得是因为他们都很有钱 |
| [06:32] | they could eat popsicles all the time | 可以一直吃棒冰 |
| [06:35] | What? I… in my | 什么？ 我…在我… |
| [06:37] | Well, you should definitely come The foreman always comes | 你应该来 主管总是会来 |
| [06:40] | Plus it’s fun you know, cookies smoked fish | 另外，很有意思，你知道 曲奇、熏鱼 |
| [06:43] | alcohol, people acting stupid | 酒，大家都很逗乐 |
| [06:45] | You had me at “cookies”. I can’t wait to find out what they are | 你要给我“科奇” 我等不及要看看是什么 |
| [06:50] | What should I wear? | 我应该穿什么？ |
| [06:51] | Oh, it’s nice. It’s real nice People get dressed up. | 很漂亮 真的很漂亮 人们都穿很正式 |
| [06:54] | I will look so handsome for you, Darryl | 我要为你打扮得很帅，达瑞尔 |
| [07:05] | Uh. | |
| [07:08] | I’m gonna | 我要… |
| [07:14] | Dwight really wants my bonus | 德怀特真的想要我的奖金 |
| [07:17] | He’s trying to entrap me | 他要给我下套 |
| [07:20] | Oh, God, now I can’t drink at this thing | 哦，天呐，我受不了这些小把戏 |
| [07:25] | I get really pranky when I drink | 我喝了酒就会很想恶作剧 |
| [07:27] | Erin, what can I get for you? | 艾琳，我能为你做什么？ |
| [07:29] | Do you have cola? Kirkland, if you have it | 你有可乐吗？ 要有的话，柯克兰 |
| [07:32] | Why would you come to a bar and ask for a cola | 为什么你要到吧台要可乐 |
| [07:34] | when you can get some from the kitchen? | 而你可以去厨房找到？ |
| [07:36] | Did some small part of you want something a little stronger? | 你就不想来电烈的吗？ |
| [07:40] | Ryan, Kevin, Phyllis, Oscar come and take these shots. | 莱恩、凯文、菲丽丝、奥斯卡 过来拿走这些酒 |
| [07:44] | Yes | 好的！ |
| [07:46] | Will do | 就来 |
| [07:47] | The fifth one is for you, Erin You can take it or leave it | 第五杯是给你的，艾琳 你要么拿上要么不接受 |
| [07:51] | To take it would be to accept that you’re | 拿上表示你承认自己是在派对 |
| [07:53] | at a party, and you’re an adult woman | 你是成年女性了 |
| [07:56] | and you have an adventurous spirit | 你有冒险精神 |
| [07:58] | To leave it would be fine, too | 不接受也没关系 |
| [08:00] | One, two, three Yes | –一 二 三 –是 |
| [08:02] | Okay | 好的 |
| [08:04] | Wow | |
| [08:06] | Whoo! Hey, hey, nice | 嘿 嘿 很好 |
| [08:08] | Jiminy Christmas | 吉姆圣诞节！ |
| [08:10] | Jiminy Christmas, indeed | 吉姆圣诞节，是的 |
| [08:12] | Hit her up Oh, yes. | –给她满上 –好的 |
| [08:14] | Yeah. – Wow | 耶 |
| [08:19] | Yeah, I just got my replacement credit card | 是的，我刚刚拿到了我的 替换的信用卡 |
| [08:23] | Do you want the number? Oh, it’s 4-7-9-3 | 你要号码吗？4793 |
| [08:27] | 0-0-3-2-3-3-1-3 | |
| [08:32] | The security code is 9-2-7 | 安全码是927 |
| [08:36] | Okay, great thank you very much | 好的，谢谢 |
| [08:38] | Bye | 再见 |
| [08:43] | So Dwight did take the bait | 德怀特上钩了 |
| [08:46] | He used my credit card numbers to send a $200 bouquet of flowers | 他用我的信用卡号码送了 200美元的鲜花 |
| [08:52] | to my wife | 给我妻子 |
| [08:54] | From me | 我送的 |
| [09:00] | Boom | |
| [09:02] | Look, it’s Christmas so you’re allowed… | 听着，今天是圣诞节，所以大家可以… |
| [09:05] | Hello | 你好 |
| [09:15] | compared to normal | 我的意思是跟普通比穿得正式点 |
| [09:17] | You usually dress like a Ghostbuster | 你总是穿得像是捉鬼人 |
| [09:19] | Okay. I thought you’d wear a sweater | –好吧 –我觉得你得穿个运动衫 |
| [09:21] | Since when does a sweater mean “dressed up”? | 什么时候穿运动衫就是“正装”了？ |
| [09:23] | Am I your grandson? | –我是你孙子？ |
| [09:24] | Come on, stay, all right? | –好啦，冷静点，好吗？ |
| [09:25] | It’s good for people to get to know you. | 让大家认识你很好 |
| [09:27] | As a contestant on Dancing with the Stars maybe. | 或许可以作为 “与星共舞”节目的参赛者 |
| [09:30] | And then I want a sugar cookie | 我想要无糖曲奇 还想要含糖曲奇 |
| [09:36] | And then I want my nap | 之后要小睡一会 |
| [09:37] | That’s right | 很好 |
| [09:39] | Thank you | 谢谢 |
| [09:41] | She is remarkable | 她真棒 |
| [09:43] | Edgy impressions Thank you | –真是惊艳 –谢谢 |
| [09:46] | How many drinks have you had tonight? | 你今晚喝了多少酒？ |
| [09:47] | Driving everybody home | 我可不能把每个人都送回家 |
| [09:49] | A thousand Woah! | 一千杯 |
| [09:52] | Maybe you should take a break | 或许你该休息一下 |
| [09:54] | Maybe you should mind your own business | 或许你该管好自己 |
| [09:58] | Just kidding | 开玩笑 |
| [10:03] | Ah! I’ve been attacked | 我遭到攻击 |
| [10:05] | Oh, my God. Someone put a porcupine in my drawer | 天呐 有人在我抽屉里放了豪猪 |
| [10:08] | Oh, my God | 天呐 |
| [10:09] | Yeah, I was just sitting here at my desk and I reached into my drawer | 是的，我只是刚坐到我的办公桌前 我打开了抽屉 |
| [10:12] | to grab my toothbrush and some tooth powder | 拿我的牙刷和牙刷粉 |
| [10:15] | and all of a sudden I was attacked | 突然就被一个嗜血狂犬病动物攻击 |
| [10:17] | by this bloodthirsty rabid creature. | |
| [10:20] | Who has access to a porcupine? | 我就奇怪 办公室里谁有刺猬？ |
| [10:23] | Or who in this office knows that I have access | 或者说办公室里谁知道我有 |
| [10:26] | and is trying to set me up? | 然后陷害我？ |
| [10:28] | Hmm You know, this sounds a lot like the premise | 你知道，这听着有点像 |
| [10:31] | of my latest Chad Flenderman novel | 我最近的查得弗兰德曼小说的情节 |
| [10:34] | A Murder for Framing. | 《陷害谋杀》 |
| [10:35] | Chad Flenderman. Just an easy-going black guy who knows | 查得弗兰德曼 |
| [10:38] | the streets, yet he also went to Oxford | 只是一个了解街头的随和黑人 他还在牛津上过学 |
| [10:41] | So just as comfortable on a motorcycle as he is on Air Force One | 所以他骑着摩托车就像是在 空军一号上一样自在 |
| [10:48] | And he’s also the world’s leading Egyptologist. | 他也是世界上一流的埃及学家 |
| [10:52] | Toby, nobody cares about your sex-crazed black detective. | 托比，没人关心你那性狂热的黑人侦探 |
| [10:56] | No, no, no, no, no women chase him. He misses his wife | 不不不不，女性追求他 他想念他的妻子 |
| [10:59] | Hello, lacerated hand here, folks | 哈喽，伙伴们，这里有人手受伤了 |
| [11:01] | Nice try This is ridiculous | –干得好 |
| [11:03] | Oh, is it really? | 真是可笑 –真的？ |
| [11:04] | Two separate times you have set me up to believe | 有两次你都陷害我 |
| [11:06] | that I was being recruited by the CIA | 说我是CIA雇来的 |
| [11:09] | Three times, actually You see? | –实际上是三次 –知道了吗？ |
| [11:10] | Jim, this has your fingerprints all over it | 吉姆，这里到处有你的指纹 |
| [11:12] | Andy, you’ve got to be kidding me | 安迪，你开玩笑呢吧 |
| [11:13] | Fingerprints can be planted | 指纹也可以是安排好的 |
| [11:15] | You know with a severed hand | 你知道，割下手… |
| [11:16] | Do you think that’s what happened? | 你觉得会发生这样的事情？ |
| [11:18] | Do you think he used a severed hand? | 你觉得他用了割下来的手？ |
| [11:19] | Okay, you know what why don’t we just call Animal Control? | 好吧，你知道吗 为什么我们不能给动物管理部门打个电话？ |
| [11:21] | You might want to run that by Angela. ‘Cause it’s so cute | 你可以让安吉拉来打 因为它很可爱 |
| [11:24] | No. Porcupines don’t have souls They’re like dogs | 不 刺猬没有灵魂 就像狗一样 |
| [11:28] | Yes, I’m calling from Dunder Mifflin | 是的，我来自米福林 |
| [11:29] | We have a very rabid porcupine in our office | 我们办公室这有一只有狂犬病的刺猬 |
| [11:32] | Someone should come pick it up. | –得有人来弄走它 |
| [11:33] | Come down right away | –马上来 |
| [11:34] | I don’t know, let me ask Were you quilled? | 我不知道，我问问 你被扎到了吗？ |
| [11:36] | Yes, I was quilled | 是的，我被扎到了 |
| [11:37] | And what’s its name? Henrietta | –叫什么名字？ |
| [11:39] | Oh | –海利耶塔 |
| [11:40] | What? Uh | 什么？ |
| [11:42] | All right. Get her out of here, Dwight | 好吧 把她弄走，德怀特 |
| [11:55] | Hey | 嘿 |
| [11:56] | Guys, I just wanted to say Come here. | 伙伴们，我只想说…过来点 |
| [12:00] | Guys are together. Okay? | 我很高兴你俩都在一起 好吗？ |
| [12:03] | And you both have such beautiful hair | 你们两个头发都很漂亮 |
| [12:06] | Thank you | 谢谢 我希望你们结婚 |
| [12:11] | And who knows? Maybe at the wedding I meet someone. | 谁知道呢？ 或许在婚礼上，我会遇到心上人 |
| [12:13] | Okay | 好的 |
| [12:15] | And later on tonight I hope I see you guys kiss | 我希望今晚可以看到你俩接吻 |
| [12:21] | Yay. | |
| [12:23] | Okay, well, I’m gonna go do another reverse spit. | 好了，我要去做另一个反向拆分 |
| [12:26] | That’s how the coo kids say “get a drink.’ | 酷小子都会这样说“喝点” |
| [12:33] | That’s… That’s the girl you dated? | 那…那就是你约会的女孩？ |
| [12:36] | Yeah, she’s not always like that. It’s | 是的，她其实不是那样 是… |
| [12:40] | No, she seems fun | 不，她很有趣 |
| [12:43] | Yeah, excuse me. Okay | –是的，抱歉 –好的 |
| [12:47] | Hey | Hey –嘿 –嘿 |
| [12:48] | Have you had anything to eat besides candy canes? | 你这儿除了拐杖糖 还有其他吃的吗？ |
| [12:51] | Every martini has an olive | –每种马蒂尼都有加橄榄 |
| [12:53] | Okay | –好的 |
| [12:54] | Maybe I should make you some oatmeal or something | 或许我该给你弄点燕麦什么的 |
| [12:56] | I don’t want to put you out but if someone’s making oatmeal | 不是我说风凉话 要是有人弄来燕麦 |
| [12:59] | I’ll take an apple cinnamon | 我就吃一碗苹果桂皮 |
| [13:01] | and a maple brown sugar in one bowl with whole milk | 枫叶红糖拌全脂奶 |
| [13:04] | Hey, I never told you my Christmas wish | 嘿，我还没有告诉你我的圣诞节愿望 |
| [13:06] | Okay It’s about you. | –好的 –是关于你 |
| [13:08] | That’s not what it should be It should just be like a trinket or something | 不应该这样 应该是小饰品什么的 |
| [13:12] | It’s that I wish Jessica was dead | 是我希望杰西卡死了 |
| [13:16] | You mean you wish she wasn’t here or something | 你的意思是你希望她没来 或者什么的 |
| [13:19] | I wish she was in a graveyard under the ground | 我希望她躺在地下坟墓里 |
| [13:23] | with worms coming out of her mouth | 虫子从他嘴里钻出 |
| [13:27] | Hey, you know, you can’t say that, okay? | 嘿，你知道，你不能这样说 |
| [13:30] | That’s my girlfriend that you’re talking about | 你在说我的女友 |
| [13:32] | You and I are not together anymore | 我俩儿不会在一块了 |
| [13:36] | You need to get over it Take your wish back. | 你得坦然面对 收回你的愿望 |
| [13:39] | Too late. It’s already been wished | 太晚了 已经许愿了 |
| [13:42] | And you promised it would come true. You wrote it in an e-mail | 而且你保证过会实现的 你在电子邮件里是这么写的！ |
| [13:45] | So which one are you a murderer or a liar? | 所以你到底是什么人 杀人犯还是骗子？ |
| [13:58] | Hey | Hey –嘿 –嘿 |
| [14:00] | So there was talk of oatmeal | 有人在谈论燕麦 |
| [14:07] | You know, don’t listen to what anyone is saying | 你知道 不要管别人怎么说 |
| [14:10] | You look like a princess | 你看上去像公主 |
| [14:13] | Yeah Thanks. | –是的 –谢谢 太不好意思了 |
| [14:20] | Hey, guys, sorry to interrupt I just found this on my desk | 嘿，抱歉打扰大家 我刚在我的桌子上看到这个 |
| [14:22] | and need to talk to somebody about it | 得跟某人谈谈 |
| [14:25] | Can you believe that? | 你相信吗？ |
| [14:26] | Is that Cece? Yes, it is | –是塞西？ –是的 |
| [14:28] | Oh, man. That’s awful | –哦，伙计 –太可怕了 |
| [14:30] | Cece is Jim’s daughter | –塞西是吉姆的女儿 |
| [14:31] | Oh, my God | –哦，天呐 |
| [14:33] | How could somebody do that? | 怎么有人能做出这样的事 |
| [14:34] | I know. I mean the way I see it is | 我知道 |
| [14:35] | you can deface any picture of me | 我的意思是 这样会破坏我的形象 |
| [14:37] | Any one. Pick one Not my kid, though | 任何人 随便一个 不是我孩子 |
| [14:39] | Who did this? | Who did this? 谁会这样做？谁会这样做？ |
| [14:40] | Do you know who did this? I don’t | –你知道谁做的？ –我不知道… 我知道谁做的 是德怀特 |
| [14:44] | Dwight? Yeah, he did | –德怀特？ –是的，他做的 |
| [14:45] | What? No He should pay. | –什么？不是 –他应该付出代价 |
| [14:46] | He is gonna pay This is fire-able. | 他会付出代价的 可以被开除 |
| [14:48] | Okay – It’s… I mean… | –好的 –这个…我意思… |
| [14:50] | Let me just see it one more time | 我再去看看 |
| [14:51] | You know what? I know who my friends are now | 你知道吗？ 我知道谁是我的朋友 |
| [14:55] | But I shouldn’t have got you involved | 但我不应该让你缠进来 |
| [14:56] | Because the truth is I don’t even really care about this picture | 因为真相是 我不在乎这张照片 |
| [14:59] | It’s a little out of focus | 有点失焦 |
| [15:00] | It was probably an accident right? Like… | 也许是意外，对吗？ |
| [15:02] | That’s no accident | 不是意外 |
| [15:03] | Right. You’re right So maybe it was me who did it By accident. | 对，你说得对 也许是我做的 意外 |
| [15:07] | What? I’ll figure it out | –什么？ –我会搞定的 |
| [15:09] | Get to the bottom of it Merry merry. | 搞清楚 快乐快乐 |
| [15:15] | Enough of this garbage | 够了这些垃圾 |
| [15:19] | This is Christmas | 这才是圣诞节 （输精管切除术 还有你） （问，然后触摸） |
| [16:35] | Christmas | 圣诞节！ |
| [16:42] | You all right, Santa? | 你好吗，圣诞老人？ |
| [16:44] | You know those movies where two friends | 你知道电影里 |
| [16:45] | are sleeping together and it’s like | 两个朋友睡在了一起，像是 |
| [16:47] | hey, can they stay friends? | 嘿，他们还能做朋友吗？ |
| [16:49] | Yes | 是的 |
| [16:50] | Do you think two friends who are | 你觉得没有睡过的两个朋友 |
| [16:51] | not sleeping together can stay friends? | 还能做朋友吗？ |
| [16:53] | Two friends who are not sleeping together | 你觉得没有睡过的两个朋友 |
| [16:55] | can they remain friends? Yes, yeah. | 还能做朋友吗？是的，可以 |
| [16:57] | No. I… I don’t know | 不，我…我不知道 |
| [16:59] | Okay By the way | –好的 –顺便说下 |
| [17:00] | I’m not gonna mess with your and Dwight’s bonuses | 我不会搞你和德怀特奖金的事情了 |
| [17:03] | causing more problems | 我觉得这会带来更多麻烦 |
| [17:05] | So just be yourselves have fun, | 所以顺其自然，享受快乐 |
| [17:07] | and try not to let it affect your work | 不要让它影响你的工作 |
| [17:09] | All right I will definitely do that | –好的，我会做到的 |
| [17:11] | All right. I’ll tell Dwight | –好的，我去告诉德怀特 |
| [17:13] | You know what? You’re sitting and thinking | 你知道吗？ 你坐着思考 |
| [17:15] | And it’s probably better if it comes from me anyway | 或许我说出来更好 |
| [17:18] | Christmas miracles do happen | –圣诞节奇迹确实会发生 |
| [17:20] | Yes, they totally do | –是的，确实会 |
| [17:24] | You can’t click on these Kardashian links | 你不能点击卡达珊的链接 |
| [17:26] | That’s why you have so many viruses | 这就是你的电脑感染这么多病毒的原因 |
| [17:27] | Well, help me, okay? | –好吧，帮我可以吗？ |
| [17:29] | I’m trying, but | –我在尝试，但是… |
| [17:30] | You need to… Kelly | –你需要… –凯莉 |
| [17:31] | Yo. On it. Game on | –开始游戏 –好的 |
| [17:38] | I don’t know what I was thinking, it was awful. Awful | 我不知道我在想什么 很糟糕 |
| [17:42] | Jessica, did you just fart? | 杰西卡，你刚刚放屁了吗？ |
| [17:47] | And that is how it’s done | 就是这样做到的 我想再来一杯酒 |
| [17:52] | Let’s you and I take a walk Oscar, you’re in charge of the bar | 我们去走走 奥斯卡，你来负责吧台 |
| [17:54] | What? I haven’t bartended in forever | 什么？我好久没有做过酒侍了 |
| [17:58] | Never considered myself a mixologist | 从来没想过自己还能当调酒师 |
| [18:01] | Oh, this is daunting. Um, I need a mortar pestle, muddler | 太可怕了 我需要膜研碗、杵、捣锤 |
| [18:05] | Does anyone have any chocolate shavings? | 谁有巧克力片 |
| [18:08] | Your heart is broken | 你心碎了 |
| [18:10] | So’s mine And? | –我也是 –还有呢？ |
| [18:12] | And what? | 还有什么？ |
| [18:14] | And do you have any advice or anything… | 你有建议或是… |
| [18:16] | Oh, my God. …to help me feel better? | –哦，天呐 –…帮我开心点？ |
| [18:18] | I’ve been married thrice and each | 我已经结婚三次了 |
| [18:20] | has ended in an acrimonious divorce | 每次都是以痛苦的离婚收场 |
| [18:22] | I’m not sure I’m the best person to give love advice | 我觉得我不是给 爱情建议的最佳人选 |
| [18:26] | I was hoping you were going to make me feel better | 我只希望你能让我开心点 |
| [18:29] | When you do your makeup, how long does it take usually? ‘Cause | 你化妆的时候 一般会用多久？因为… |
| [18:33] | It depends | 看情况 |
| [18:35] | Chad Flenderman’s kryptonite… | 查得弗兰德曼的氪星石 |
| [18:38] | Woah | |
| [18:39] | We got a real Clarence Thomas here | 我们这儿来了个真的克莱伦斯托马斯 |
| [18:44] | Hi | 嗨 |
| [18:48] | I’ll see you at home. Okay Okay, great. | –回家见 ，好的 –好的，很好 |
| [18:49] | Perfect. Bye | –很好 –再见 |
| [18:52] | get why you can’t | 我还是不明白为什么你就不能 |
| [18:54] | just call her a cab and pay for it | 给她叫个出租车然后付了车钱 |
| [18:55] | I would, it just… That wasn’t the holiday wish | 我不能，只是… 那不是节日愿望 |
| [18:59] | Either he drives or I drive and now I’m drunk and mad | 无论是他开车还是我开 现在我喝醉变疯狂了 |
| [19:04] | Okay, bye | Okay, bye –好的，再见 –好的，再见 |
| [19:07] | All right, come on, Meredith | 好啦，来吧，梅瑞狄斯 |
| [19:09] | Bye. Thank you, Santa | –再见，谢谢你，圣诞老人 |
| [19:12] | You bet | –不客气 |
| [19:13] | Thank God Erin’s getting a ride home with Robert | 谢天谢地 艾琳搭罗伯特的车回家了 |
| [19:15] | ’cause she is trashed | 因为她被抛弃了 |
| [19:17] | And who better to drive her home than Robert? | 还有谁能比罗伯特 |
| [19:19] | A stand up guy, you know | 更适合送她回家？ 我意思是，多会说笑话的人 |
| [19:22] | I mean he’s going through a lot. Separating from his wife | 我意思是，他经历丰富，和妻子分居 |
| [19:25] | showing up at the Christmas party in a track suit and a blazer | 穿着运动服和休闲西装 来参加圣诞节派对 |
| [19:32] | Let’s go, let’s go I’m coming, I’m coming. | –我们走吧，我们走吧 –我来啦，我来啦 |
| [19:34] | I’m coming, I’m coming | –我来啦，我来啦 |
| [19:35] | Hang on. All right | –等等 好的 |
| [19:38] | Woah! My stuff What? What is all that? | –我的东西！ –什么？什么东西？ |
| [19:41] | It’s my valuables | –我的无价之宝！ |
| [19:42] | It’s junk | –是垃圾 |
| [19:43] | This is my treasures No, they’re my treasures | 这是我的宝贝 不，是我的宝贝！ |
| [19:45] | You’re a hoarder. My God | –你是个爱攒废品的人 天呐 –不，我不是 |
| [19:46] | No, I’m not! I’m gonna sell it on eBay | 我要在eBay上卖掉！ |
| [19:48] | No, no, no, you be careful | 不不不，你小心点 |
| [19:50] | Be careful Ah! My Santa suit’s stuck. | –小心！ –圣诞老人装卡住了 吉姆很棒 |
| [19:59] | What are we gonna do with all that bonus money Henrietta, huh? | 我们拿到奖金要怎么花，海利耶塔？ |
| [20:02] | Where are we? This ain’t my street | 我们在哪？这不是去我家的路 |
| [20:07] | Oh. This is the posh part of town, huh? | 这是时尚区？ |
| [20:12] | Oh, my God | 哦，天呐 |
| [20:16] | Wonder what a studio condo would cost in this neighborhood. | 想知道这里的工作室价钱怎么样 |
| [20:18] | Meredith, shut your drunk hole right now | 梅瑞狄斯 别再耍酒疯了 |
| [20:24] | Erin, it was great fun tonight. | 艾琳，今晚过得很愉快 |
| [20:26] | Take a few aspirin, drink a whole lot of water sleep in in the morning. | 吃几片阿司匹林，多喝水 一觉睡到上午 |
| [20:32] | Thank you. Good night | 谢谢 晚安 |
| [20:40] | What are you smiling for? | 你在笑什么？ |
| [20:42] | You thinking what I’m thinking? | 你在想我所想？ |
| [20:46] | I’m sure I am not | 我没有 |
| [20:48] | Let’s get you home | 我送你回家 |
| [20:51] | Ow | |
| [20:54] | Take it easy | 慢点！ |
| [21:01] | Oh, man | 哦，伙计！ |
| [21:03] | Fell asleep. Took a nap | 睡着了 睡了小觉 （蠢货） |
| [21:07] | Hey, guys I feel refreshed now | 嘿，伙伴们 我现在精神焕发 |
| [21:09] | How’s it going? Dwight | –怎么样了？ –德怀特 |
| [21:11] | Took a little nap right next to Jim’s desk. I feel so good right now | 在吉姆的办公桌旁 睡一觉 我现在感觉很好 |
| [21:15] | Mmm. Cookies | 曲奇 |
| [21:17] | What’s everyone staring at? | 大家在看什么？ |
| [21:20] | Oh, man I was supposed to tell Dwight something | 哦，伙计！ 我本应该告诉德怀特点事情 |
| [21:24] | Come on, Jim | 说吧，吉姆 我没什么要说的 |