| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Val, I need the space | 瓦尔，我要用下这里 |
| [00:06] | All right guys, clear out | 好吧，伙计们，地方腾出来 |
| [00:08] | Everybody out | 大家都出去 |
| [00:09] | Promise me you’re going to clean up. | 向我保证你会收拾干净 |
| [00:10] | What I’m going to do or not do | 我不能保证我会做什么，不会做什么 |
| [00:12] | Promise me | –向我保证… |
| [00:13] | Obviously I’m going to clean up | –我当然会收拾干净 |
| [00:15] | Stress is like the uptight mayor of a town who’s saying | 压力就像是一个焦虑的镇长说的 |
| [00:18] | “Hey, we’re uptight You can’t dance.” | “嘿，我们压力很大，你不能跳舞” |
| [00:20] | And then, you have to be like “Oh, yeah, Mayor Stress? Well, watch this.’ | 然后，你得回答 “是吗？镇长压力？看好了” |
| [00:24] | And then, we dance. | 然后，我们跳舞 |
| [00:28] | Oh, how we dance. | 我们这样跳舞 |
| [01:05] | Sex also works | 做爱也行 斯克兰顿 欢迎您 办公室 |
| [01:30] | Hey, Jim’s back from jury duty. | 杰姆结束陪审团的工作回来了 |
| [01:32] | Hey! Tuna He’s back | 嘿！金枪鱼！ 他回来了！ |
| [01:36] | Hey | –嗨 |
| [01:37] | Oh, look at this | –看看这个 |
| [01:38] | Tuna wrap Okay | –包裹金枪鱼 –好了 |
| [01:41] | Hand roll | –手卷 –好的 |
| [01:43] | How was jury duty? | 陪审团当得如何？ |
| [01:45] | Pretty uneventful actually. | 挺无趣的，其实 |
| [01:46] | Let someone like you serve on a jury | 真不敢相信你这样的人也能进入陪审团 |
| [01:48] | Makes me question the whole judicial system | 让我开始怀疑整个司法制度 |
| [01:51] | What was the case? | 什么案子啊？ |
| [01:52] | A hit and run | 肇事逃逸 |
| [01:53] | Ooh! The case of the hit and run. That’s exciting. | 肇事逃逸案，很刺激啊 |
| [01:55] | Did you send him to the slammer? | 你们判他入狱了没？ |
| [01:57] | No. Not guilty | 没有，无罪释放 |
| [01:59] | Of course you found him not guilty | 你当然觉得他无罪 |
| [02:01] | He apologized And I just really want him to like me. Mmm! | 他已经道歉了，我只是想让他喜欢我 |
| [02:05] | We’re best friends actually. | 实际上我们是好朋友 |
| [02:06] | We’re going wine tasting next weekend if you want to come | 下周末我们去品酒，你要来吗？ |
| [02:08] | Not coming Have plans. | –不去，没空 |
| [02:09] | Okay | –好吧 |
| [02:11] | I did get called into jury duty | 我确实被召去参加陪审团了 |
| [02:13] | And they released me around noon | 大概中午左右我就走了 |
| [02:15] | so I didn’t think it was worth it | 但是我想着回来工作半天不划算 |
| [02:17] | to come back to work for a half day. | |
| [02:19] | And then the next morning, Pam was a little overwhelmed with the kids | 然后第二天早上，潘有点搞不定孩子们 |
| [02:22] | so I took an extra day to help out. | 然后我又多歇一天来帮忙 |
| [02:26] | And then three other days happened | 然后同样的事情又发生在其他三天 |
| [02:29] | Ah | |
| [02:31] | Angela had the baby | 安杰拉生了！ |
| [02:32] | Is it black? Because that would be hilarious | 是黑人吗？那就太搞笑了 |
| [02:35] | Why? | 为什么？ |
| [02:37] | You know | 你知道的 |
| [02:39] | Would it be more hilarious than Angela having a Chinese baby? | 比安杰拉生了个华人小孩更搞笑吗？ |
| [02:42] | A little bit. Yeah. Right, guys? Back me up | 有点吧，对吧？各位？帮我说句话 |
| [02:46] | Maybe a little bit | 也许有一点吧 |
| [02:47] | Oh. Did I win the pool? | 我的彩票中了么？ |
| [02:50] | Uh, no Right month wrong year. | 没有，月份对了，年份错了 |
| [02:52] | No one won the pool Angela wasn’t due for another month. | 彩票谁也没中，安杰拉不是下个月才生吗？ |
| [02:55] | We should all go to the hospital and visit her | 我们应该一起去医院看看她 |
| [02:57] | Oh, I’d love to, but | 我很想去，但是… |
| [02:59] | Oh, man, I would, but I can’t miss any more work | 我也想，但是我可不能再翘班了 |
| [03:02] | Well, Kevin and I have to go because accounting is its own little family. | 凯文和我会去，因为会计部是一个小家庭 |
| [03:06] | Yeah, Oscar’s the dad I’m Oscar’s dad and Angela’s my mom. | 对，奥斯卡是父亲，我是奥斯卡的父亲 而安杰拉是我的母亲 |
| [03:11] | Everyone, our very own Angela | 各位，我们的安杰拉… |
| [03:13] | We all got the e-mail Some of us are going to go visit | 我们都收到电邮了，有人会去探望她的 |
| [03:15] | Oh, I am so in | 算我一个 我喜欢产科病房 |
| [03:20] | It’s the perfect blend of love and horror | 是爱与恐惧的完美结合物 |
| [03:22] | Things can go so wrong or so right | 事情可能会变得无比错误，或者无比美好 |
| [03:27] | Come on, Judge Judy tell us your case. What were the deets? | 快说，朱迪法官，跟我们讲讲案子，还有细节 |
| [03:30] | It was actually a pretty boring case | 其实是挺无聊的一个案子 |
| [03:32] | How could it be boring? You were there for five days Titillate us | 怎么会无聊呢？你可是呆了五天呢 别吊我们胃口 |
| [03:35] | Yeah, you owe us. I had to stay until 6:00 twice to cover for you. | 是啊，这是你欠我们的 为了帮你处理事务，我有两天一直呆到六点 |
| [03:38] | My wife got to the TV first. | 结果让我老婆抢占了电视机 |
| [03:40] | I had to sit through damn Rizzoli & damn Isles. | 我不得不着陪她看完那该死的《妙探双姝》 |
| [03:43] | Yeah. My car got smashed visiting one of your clients | 是啊，我拜访你的一个客户的时候车撞坏了 |
| [03:46] | and I had to have it detailed and they took my meter change | 我得去做笔录，然后他们换了我的仪表 |
| [03:49] | Wow. I’m really sorry | –真的很抱歉 |
| [03:50] | Yeah | –是啊 |
| [03:51] | I never considered that my week off | 我从没想过我旷工一周会加重其他人的工作负担 |
| [03:53] | would make everyone else’s job harder | |
| [03:57] | The least I could do was give them a good story | 我最起码要给他们讲个好故事吧 |
| [04:00] | So Phyllis he was here and then | 菲丽丝，他当时在这儿，然后，车撞到了他 |
| [04:01] | the car came and it was like that. | |
| [04:04] | Yeah, so it had to be a double backflip, actually | 所以其实他做了两圈后空翻 |
| [04:06] | You know when I was on J-duties strangler case, | 你知道，我参加陪审团审理扼杀者那件案子时 |
| [04:10] | we used to recreate the various stranglings with empanadas from Ernesto’s | 我们得从欧内斯托店买肉馅 重现各种勒杀场景 |
| [04:15] | Oh, man, Ernesto’s | 天哪，欧内斯托店 |
| [04:17] | That was our favorite restaurant, too | 那也是我们最喜欢的一家餐厅 |
| [04:19] | You mean food truck Ernesto’s was a food truck | 你是说快餐车？欧内斯托店是一个快餐车 |
| [04:21] | Toby, shut your hole about the empanadas | 托比，闭嘴别再说肉馅了，没人在乎什么肉馅 |
| [04:22] | Nobody cares about the empanadas | |
| [04:24] | I was in Los Angeles last year | 去年我在洛杉矶 |
| [04:26] | Jim tricked me into thinking I’d won a walk-on part on NCIS, | 杰姆骗我说能去《海军罪案调查处》跑个龙套 |
| [04:30] | but that’s not important | 但那不是重点 |
| [04:31] | While I was being kicked off the lot, I saw food trucks everywhere | 当我从剧组被踢出来的时候，我看到处都是快餐车 |
| [04:34] | Everyone in Los Angeles eats from them | 洛杉矶的人都去快餐车买吃的 |
| [04:36] | and nobody calls them restaurants | 但没人把它们叫作餐厅 |
| [04:46] | Guys, I don’t know how many of you have seen | 各位，我不知道你们之前谁见过… |
| [04:49] | Gabe, bring it in | 盖比，过来点 |
| [04:51] | how many of you have seen a premature baby before. | 我不知道你们多少人见过早产儿 |
| [04:54] | It’s going to be really tiny so please don’t say anything offensive | 但是他们都很小，所以不要说什么冒犯的话 |
| [04:57] | Got that, bimbo? | 听明白了没，呆子？ |
| [04:59] | Got it, bimbo | 明白了，呆子 |
| [05:01] | Yes? | 是谁？ |
| [05:03] | Knock, knock. | 是我们 |
| [05:05] | Hi. – Uh | 嗨 |
| [05:09] | I don’t want What are you guys doing here? | 我不想…你们来这里干嘛？ |
| [05:12] | We wanted to say hi to the newest little Dunder Mifflinite | 我们来见见最新的小敦德米福林成员 |
| [05:14] | Well, meet our not-so-little bundle of joy Philip Halsted Lipton | 来见见我们可爱活泼的 菲利普霍尔斯特德立顿 |
| [05:20] | Philip is so fat | –菲利普好胖啊 |
| [05:22] | Kevin | –凯文 |
| [05:23] | You warned me not to say anything if it was tiny, Oscar | 你说的是不能说他太小了，奥斯卡 |
| [05:25] | You didn’t prepare me for a big, giant, fat baby | 但是你没告诉我见到一个又大又肥的婴儿需要说什么 |
| [05:28] | Yes, he’s substantial Hey | –对，他很强壮 –嘿！ |
| [05:30] | He’s more than substantial He’s a monster. | 他可不只是强壮，他简直是怪物 |
| [05:36] | So this whole hit and run thing | 你那个肇事逃逸的案子，我有个问题不明白 |
| [05:38] | there’s this one part I can’t figure out. | |
| [05:40] | You said it was at a four-way stop? | 你说是在四向停车路口？ |
| [05:41] | Mmm-hmm | |
| [05:42] | And the victim rode his bicycle into the left-hand turn lane | 受害者骑自行车进入左转车道 |
| [05:46] | but the perp was already in the left-hand turn lane? | 但是肇事者已经在左转车道了？ |
| [05:49] | Mmm-hmm | |
| [05:51] | See, that’s what I’m having trouble with, because the fact is | 我就是这点没弄明白，因为你 |
| [05:56] | you never said he was on a bicycle. | 从未说过他在骑自行车 |
| [06:03] | Busted, Halpert! Yes Wait. No | –穿帮了，哈尔佩特！ –等下 |
| [06:05] | Andy, get out here | 安迪，出来！ |
| [06:06] | was on a bicycle | 我没说他在骑自行车 |
| [06:07] | wasn’t listening to you | 我只是说我没在听你说话 |
| [06:09] | a citizen’s arrest | 我要逮捕你这个公民 |
| [06:10] | You have the right to remain silent. | 你有权保持沉默 |
| [06:11] | You have the right to beg for mercy. | 你有权请求宽恕 |
| [06:13] | You have the right to request judgment by combat Dwight’s rights | 你有权请求武力解决！德怀特的权利！ |
| [06:16] | What’s up, gangsters? | 怎么了，混混们？ |
| [06:18] | Jim was lying about jury duty | 关于陪审团的事情，杰姆撒谎了 |
| [06:20] | He was lying the whole time so he could go do yoga or go canoeing, | 整件事都是骗人的 好让他能去做瑜伽或者划独木舟 |
| [06:24] | I don’t know what this pervert likes. Fire him! | 我不知道这个变态喜欢什么，炒掉他！ |
| [06:27] | Dwight, not everything is a conspiracy theory | 德怀特，并不是每件事都有阴谋 |
| [06:30] | saying that the victim… | 杰姆亲口对我说，受害人… |
| [06:33] | Dwight I have me on the record | 德怀特，我也亲口对你说 |
| [06:35] | saying to you take a chill pill all right? | 吃一片镇定剂吧，好吗？ |
| [06:39] | I don’t need to take a chill pill | 我不用吃镇定剂 |
| [06:40] | Here, right there | 来，给你 |
| [06:45] | Down the hatch | 吞下去 |
| [06:46] | I really don’t want to take a chill pill. | 我真的不想吃镇定剂 |
| [06:50] | That a boy, good Now, chill. | 好汉子，现在，镇定下来 |
| [06:53] | Okay, okay | 好吧好吧 |
| [06:57] | But let’s just say that Jim was lying about jury duty | 我们假设杰姆在陪审团这件事上撒谎了 |
| [07:01] | you would have to fire him, right? | 你会炒掉他的，对吧？ |
| [07:03] | Yeah, sure. Of course. I’d fire him to Timbuktu | 当然，必须的，我会把他一脚踢到廷巴克图 |
| [07:06] | Ha-ha | |
| [07:09] | Good enough for me | 这对我来说足够了 |
| [07:12] | Ah | |
| [07:16] | And Pam was just going crazy trying to take care of Philip | 潘为了照顾菲利普都要抓狂了 |
| [07:19] | because Cece has been out of control recently. | 因为塞西最近很不听话 |
| [07:22] | Look, Andy, it doesn’t matter The truth is I just feel terrible lying to you. | 听着安迪，这不重要，说实话 骗了你让我感觉非常不好 |
| [07:26] | Getting lied to | 我被骗也感觉非常不好 |
| [07:29] | No one’s ever lied to me before | 从来没有人骗过我 |
| [07:33] | Okay | 好吧 |
| [07:34] | I think the best thing to do right now | 我觉得现在最好的做法就是 |
| [07:36] | is just come clean and tell everybody | 坦白，告诉大家真相 |
| [07:38] | No. Not after what I told Dwight about firing you. No | 不行，我已经跟德怀特说会炒掉你 |
| [07:41] | Here’s what we’re going to do | 我们要这么干 |
| [07:42] | We’re going to have ourselves a good old fashioned cover-up | 我们按照旧传统的方式，掩盖真相 |
| [07:45] | You ever heard of a Connecticut cover up? No | –你听说过康涅狄格州式掩盖吗？ –没有 |
| [07:48] | You know why you never heard of it? | 你知道你为什么没听过吗？ |
| [07:50] | Covered it up | 因为它被掩盖了 |
| [07:52] | Are you sure you can keep this under wraps? | 你确定你能保密？ |
| [07:54] | They used to call me King Tut | 他们称我为“图坦卡门之王” |
| [07:56] | because I’m so good at keeping things under wraps | 因为我很擅长保密 |
| [07:59] | My nickname was actually King Butt | 我的绰号其实是“大屁王”，因为我屁股很大 |
| [08:01] | because I had a king-sized butt | 劳和肉馅 |
| [08:12] | Where do you want it parked? | 你想停在那里？ |
| [08:15] | Okay, everybody Gather round. | 好了，各位 大家都过来 |
| [08:18] | Got a real special surprise for you | 给你们个大惊喜 |
| [08:20] | Ernesto | 欧内斯托！ |
| [08:22] | Hola, Toby! | 你好，托比！ |
| [08:31] | Uh, I’m going to say “I” when I’m talking for Ernesto | 我替欧内斯托翻译时，我会用“我” |
| [08:34] | so instead of, “He says blah, blah, blah, “ | 所以我不会说“他说了什么什么” |
| [08:36] | I’m going to say, “I say blah, blah, blah, ” but that’s for him. | 而会说“我说了什么什么”，但其实是他说的 |
| [08:39] | Anyway, it was something like he remembers Toby. | 举个例子，他还记得托比 |
| [08:44] | “I remember Toby.” | “我记得托比” |
| [08:46] | Oh, Jim. Hey, this guy look familiar? | 杰姆，嘿，认识这人吗？ |
| [08:50] | It’s the empanada guy | 他是那个卖肉馅的 |
| [08:51] | The empanada guy | 卖肉馅的！ |
| [08:52] | Holy *. Damn it, Toby No, I wasn’t asking you. | 该死，托比，我又没问你 |
| [08:57] | Ask him if he remembers Jim | 问他是否记得杰姆 |
| [09:03] | No | 不 |
| [09:05] | He says no | –他说不记得 |
| [09:06] | He says no. Boom | –他说不记得 |
| [09:07] | Yeah, but who remembers all their customers? | 是啊，但是谁能记得所有客户呢？ |
| [09:09] | I mean, I can name like three of our clients | 我的客户我估计只能记起三个 |
| [09:11] | He remembers Toby the most forgettable man in the known world | 他记得托比 他是世界上最不起眼的人了 |
| [09:18] | He doesn’t want any trouble. | 他不想惹麻烦 |
| [09:20] | He sees lots of people | 他每天会见到很多人 |
| [09:22] | they come from all around to eat his delicious meat pockets. | 都是各地来品尝他的肉馅饼 |
| [09:25] | Uh, you guys are going to love these, so empanadas on me | 你们肯定会喜欢这些肉饼的，所以我请客 |
| [09:29] | You guys got to try them | 让你们尝尝 |
| [09:30] | Usually I’m a burrito guy but if you won’t tell, I won’t. Wink, wink. | 通常我只吃玉米煎饼 但是大家可以装作不知道 |
| [09:35] | Great And while we’re enjoying these delicious empanadas | 很好，在我们享受这些美味肉饼的时候 |
| [09:37] | Jim, why don’t you tell us your story again? | 杰姆，要不你再把案情重新说一遍？ |
| [09:40] | Why? Everybody’s heard it | 为什么？大家都听过了 |
| [09:41] | Walk us through it | 再说一遍 |
| [09:43] | What time would you get there every morning? | 你每天早上几点钟过去？ |
| [09:45] | Hey, Murder, She Wrote, | 嘿，《她书写谋杀》 |
| [09:46] | how about we drop the whole Murder, She Wrote thing, okay? | 我们别再纠结案情了，好吗？ |
| [09:50] | Jim was at the courthouse for jury duty every morning | 杰姆每天早上都在法院参加陪审团 |
| [09:53] | How do I know? Because I drove him there | 我怎么知道的？因为我开车送他去的 |
| [09:56] | Why? | Why? –为什么？ –为什么？ |
| [09:59] | Why? | 为什么？ |
| [10:02] | Because my car broke down | 因为我的车坏了 |
| [10:04] | His car broke down so he called me | 他的车坏了，他打给我 |
| [10:05] | because I live near the courthouse | 因为我住在法院附近 |
| [10:07] | Wait, wait, you live by the courthouse | 等下，你住在法院附近 |
| [10:10] | You drove from near the courthouse out to Jim’s house | 你从法院附近开车去杰姆家 |
| [10:13] | and then back to the courthouse? | 然后再开回法院？ |
| [10:15] | Thirty minutes out 30 minutes back easy hour. | 三十分钟去，三十分钟回，轻松一小时 |
| [10:17] | And I would watch that cute, little tooshy | 我每早就看着那可爱的小屁股 |
| [10:19] | scurry up those courthouse stairs every morning | 急匆匆地扭上法院的台阶，事情就是这样 |
| [10:21] | and that was that | |
| [10:24] | I’m sorry, do you have any American Mexican food? | 不好意思，你们有美式墨西哥食物吗？ |
| [10:28] | We’re getting buried out there | 我们快要穿帮了都 |
| [10:30] | What was that stuff about the car breaking down? | 车坏了是怎么回事？ |
| [10:32] | Well, I think you handled it pretty well | 我觉得你处理得挺好的 |
| [10:34] | I’m not Rumpelstiltskin, Jim, I can’t keep spinning gold out of your * | 我不是侏儒怪，杰姆 我不能一直从你的…里变出来黄金 |
| [10:37] | Okay, listen, all right? | 好了，听着 |
| [10:39] | Dwight’s onto us. He’s going to figure it out really soon | 我们被德怀特盯上了 他很快就会发现真相 |
| [10:41] | So let’s just get ahead of it. Let’s tell the truth | 所以我们先他一步，告诉大家真相 |
| [10:44] | I don’t even know what the truth is anymore. | 我连真相是什么都不知道了 |
| [10:47] | Wow, it’s so | 看起来很 |
| [10:49] | healthy | 健康 |
| [10:50] | I’m going to call him Little Kevin | 我会叫他“小凯文” |
| [10:53] | No, you will not | 不可以 |
| [10:54] | Is he really five pounds? Because I squat with five pounds | 他真的有2.2公斤吗？ 我曾负重2.2公斤深蹲过 |
| [10:58] | This | 这… |
| [11:00] | Yeah, this feels like more than that | 这感觉起来比那个沉 |
| [11:02] | No, no, no he’s nine pounds seven ounces. | 不，不，他是4.2公斤重 |
| [11:06] | Nine pounds? Really? | 4公斤？真的？ |
| [11:08] | I thought you said five You know what? I was under so many drugs | 我以为你说2公斤，我当时大脑很混乱 |
| [11:11] | a James Taylor concert or something | 我以为自己在参加詹姆斯泰勒的演唱会 |
| [11:16] | So, what did you bring? | 你带的是什么？ |
| [11:17] | Oh, yeah, I don’t know if it’s right, but… | 我不知道是否合适，但是… |
| [11:21] | Well, if it’s anything like that gorgeous wrapping paper | 包装纸都这么好看 |
| [11:24] | you hit it out of the park | 礼物肯定也非常棒 |
| [11:26] | Oh | |
| [11:28] | Preemie pajamas | 早产儿睡衣 |
| [11:29] | Again, it may not be the right size, I can | 尺码可能不对，我可以… |
| [11:31] | No, I think he came early just so he could wear these | 不用，我觉得他出来这么早就是为了穿这个 |
| [11:35] | Thank you | 谢谢你 |
| [11:36] | Call of Duty. | 我给小凯文带了《使命召唤》 |
| [11:38] | This baby is clearly not premature | 这孩子肯定不是早产儿 |
| [11:41] | They’re lying about the date it was conceived | 他们捏造了怀孕的日期 |
| [11:43] | It’s very interesting | 真有意思 |
| [11:45] | And her husband’s gay I don’t even know which thread to follow. | 而且他的丈夫是同性恋 信息量实在是太大了 |
| [11:57] | Uh, excuse me, can I have everyone’s attention for a second? | 打扰一下，各位能听我说两句吗？ |
| [12:00] | First off, I just want to say that I’m really sorry | 首先，我想说我真的很抱歉 |
| [12:02] | I didn’t know that my absence last week | 我不知道我上周的旷工增加了各位的工作负担 |
| [12:04] | would have been a burden on any of you | |
| [12:06] | Because, though I did have jury duty last week, | 因为我上周确实被叫去参加陪审团 |
| [12:09] | they did dismiss me early on Monday. | 但周一他们就放我走了 |
| [12:14] | And I think you’re going to find this pretty hilarious. | 你们应该会觉得这很可笑 |
| [12:16] | I kind of, well maybe took the week off | 我算是休息了一个星期吧 |
| [12:22] | What? | 什么？ |
| [12:23] | Funny? No? Nobody laughed | 可笑？不可笑？没人笑 |
| [12:26] | You’re screwed | 你完蛋了 |
| [12:29] | Oh! It’s happening. It’s really happening | 真的发生了，这真的发生了 |
| [12:32] | What the hell, Jim I covered for your bony butt | 你搞什么，杰姆，我可是替你干了很多活 |
| [12:35] | Pam really needed some help with the kids, so… | 潘很需要我帮忙照顾孩子们，所以… |
| [12:37] | I promise my intentions were good | 我保证我的出发点是好的 |
| [12:39] | Your clients, they’re all mine | 你的客户，以后都是我的了 |
| [12:40] | Jim, I got my ass chewed out because one of your orders got messed up. | 杰姆，因为你把订单弄错，我被狠狠批了一顿 |
| [12:45] | And Andy, you said you drove him to the courthouse | 还有安迪，你不是说你开车送他去法院 |
| [12:47] | Uh, I did | 是啊 |
| [12:50] | Every morning And if I didn’t then I hope I die | 每天早上都是，如果没有的话，我希望我死掉 |
| [12:53] | All right, well, let’s get this show on the road, shall we? | 好吧，好戏上场了，对吧？ |
| [12:58] | Allow me to give you a hand Here we are. | 我来稍微帮你一下，来吧 |
| [13:01] | So long, clump mate | 再见了，同桌搭档 |
| [13:03] | I’m going to miss you Truth be told, | 我会想念你的，说实话 |
| [13:05] | I never thought that this was how it was going to end | 我从未想过会有这样的结局 |
| [13:08] | I was going to defeat you somehow | 我一直觉得我会打败你 |
| [13:10] | but you’ve defeated yourself | 但是你打败了你自己 |
| [13:12] | Dwight, cut it out I’m not firing Jim. | 德怀特，别闹了，我不会解雇杰姆 |
| [13:15] | No, no, no, no you said… | 不行，你说过… |
| [13:16] | I know what I said | 我知道我说过什么 |
| [13:18] | Jim, you’re in deep doo-doo you understand? | 杰姆，你摊上大事了，知道吗？ |
| [13:22] | And I have one thing to say to you | 我要对你说一件事 |
| [13:24] | and I’m going to say it in front of this whole office | 当着办公室所有人的面 |
| [13:26] | Look me in the eye | 看着我的眼睛 |
| [13:31] | That’s it? | 就这样？ |
| [13:33] | This is crap | 这太扯了！ |
| [13:37] | You’ve reached Gabe Lewis. I’m currently indisposed. | 我是盖比刘易斯，我现在不方便听电话 |
| [13:40] | Leave me a message. Ciao. | 给我留言，拜拜 |
| [13:42] | Gabe, it’s Dwight again | 盖比，还是我德怀特 |
| [13:43] | Highest priority triple urgent. | 十万火急 |
| [13:45] | Call me immediately That means ASAP | 立刻打给我，尽快尽快 |
| [13:48] | I’m going to find Gabe tell him what Jim did | 我要去找盖比，告诉他杰姆的所作所为 |
| [13:50] | and let the little stickler do what he does best, stickle | 然后让他拿出最擅长的本领，将事情搞复杂 |
| [13:54] | Honestly, I can return this for a larger size | 说实话，我可以拿去换个大码的 |
| [13:57] | It’s fine Pajamas aren’t supposed to be baggy, right? | 没关系，睡衣本来不应该松松垮垮的对吧？ |
| [14:00] | It’s not the barrio | 这里又不是贫民区 |
| [14:03] | The only premature baby in this room is the baby this baby ate | 这房间里唯一的早产儿，被这个小家伙吃掉了 |
| [14:09] | Little Kevin | 小凯文 |
| [14:11] | Really? Angela | –真的吗？ –安杰拉 |
| [14:12] | Fine. God | 好吧，老天 |
| [14:15] | Philip was conceived nine months ago. | 我是九个月之前怀上菲利普的 |
| [14:18] | The Senator and I wanted to wait | 参议员和我想要等一等 |
| [14:21] | but we had just seen Thor, | 但是我们刚看完电影《雷神》 |
| [14:23] | and there was way too much wine in my chicken piccata | 然后我的烤鸡里面有太多酒 |
| [14:25] | Chicken marsala Right | –那是马沙拉白葡萄酒鸡肉 –没错 |
| [14:27] | And, the point is, Philip was conceived out of wedlock | 重点是，我怀了菲利普之后算是未婚先孕 |
| [14:31] | Hmm | |
| [14:32] | And now you all know but you can never tell | 现在你们知道了，请帮我保密 |
| [14:36] | I’m serious | 我说真的 |
| [14:39] | Dwight | 德怀特 |
| [14:40] | Hey | –嘿 |
| [14:41] | Oh. Hey, have you seen Gabe? | –嘿，看到盖比了吗？ |
| [14:42] | He went to the car or something but he’ll be back. | 他去他的车那儿了好像，但是他会回来的 |
| [14:45] | Okay | 好的 |
| [14:49] | Don’t you want to see the baby? | 你不想看看孩子吗？ |
| [14:51] | Why? I know what Angela and the Senator look like | 为什么？我知道安杰拉和参议员长啥样 |
| [14:54] | I can mash that up in my head right now | 他们化成灰我也认得 |
| [14:59] | wouldn’t tell | –我答应过保密的 |
| [15:01] | So don’t | –所以别说 |
| [15:02] | Angela got pregnant before the wedding. | 安杰拉结婚前就怀孕了 |
| [15:08] | What? | 什么？ |
| [15:09] | She got pregnant before the wedding | 她在结婚前就怀孕了 |
| [15:10] | How long before? A month | –结婚前多久？ –一个月 |
| [15:19] | You didn’t hear it from me | 别说是我说的 |
| [15:20] | Yes, I did | 就是你说的 |
| [15:26] | Dwight? Dwight. | –德怀特？ –德怀特 我想看看孩子 |
| [15:29] | Well, Angela will make you cut your fingernails It’s not worth it | 安杰拉会要你先剪指甲，不值得的 |
| [15:33] | Oh | |
| [15:34] | Yes | 没错 |
| [15:36] | Oh | |
| [15:37] | What a beautiful child Prominent forehead, short arms, tiny nose. | 多漂亮的小孩，突出的前额，手短鼻子小 |
| [15:43] | You will lead millions | 你将会领导数百万人 |
| [15:46] | willingly or as slaves | 追随者或者奴隶 |
| [15:49] | That baby is a Schrute, and unless somebody taught Mose sex | 这小孩属于舒特家族，除非有人教摩西怎么做爱 |
| [15:53] | that baby is mine | 那孩子肯定是我的 |
| [15:56] | He’s hungry | 他饿了 |
| [15:58] | Oh, that’s my cue to leave. | 就是说我得离开了 |
| [16:00] | No, you don’t have to I’m going to wear this cover. | 你不用离开，我会用这个盖着 |
| [16:02] | Still | 还是走吧 |
| [16:05] | You won’t be seeing | –走吧 –你不会看见… |
| [16:08] | Do you want the giraffe? | 想拿着长颈鹿吗？ |
| [16:09] | Yes, I am bringing my kids in to help me get out of this hole. | 对，我就是要让我的孩子让我翻身 |
| [16:12] | And you all remember my beautiful wife, Pam | 你们还记得我的漂亮妻子潘吧 |
| [16:14] | Hi | 你好 |
| [16:16] | Wow, I really thought I’d be more excited to be here | 我以为自己回到这儿会很兴奋 |
| [16:18] | Whoa, whoa, whoa Game face, baby. Game face | 假装镇定，宝贝，假装镇定 |
| [16:20] | Oh, right. Okay | 好的 |
| [16:21] | Hey, Stanley it’s great to see you | 你好斯坦利，很高兴见到你！ |
| [16:23] | No, that’s overdoing it I think. | 不，我觉得这太过了 |
| [16:24] | Hi, Stanley. Split the difference | –你好，斯坦利 –像刚那样多些 |
| [16:26] | Jim. Okay. Let’s go | –杰姆 –好吧，我们走 |
| [16:28] | Hi | 嗨 |
| [16:31] | Hi, everybody | 大家好 |
| [16:32] | What? Oh, hi | –什么？ –你好 |
| [16:34] | How about a little visit? | 来看看你们 |
| [16:36] | Wow. What a surprise That’s crazy | 好惊喜啊，真激动 |
| [16:39] | You guys get to meet the little heck raisers | 来见见这些小捣蛋们 |
| [16:41] | Hey, Angela’s back with her baby. | 安杰拉带着孩子回来了 |
| [16:42] | Yes, well, you guys all know Cece, | 你们已经见过塞西了 |
| [16:44] | but we wanted to introduce you to baby Philip. | 但是我给你们介绍一下小菲利普 |
| [16:49] | You guys | 太可爱了 |
| [16:53] | He’s licking on my finger just like my cat does. | 他在舔我的手指，像我家猫一样 |
| [16:55] | Let me have a turn | 轮到我了 |
| [16:56] | No, it’s the pacifier’s turn | –不，轮到奶嘴了 |
| [16:57] | All right | –好吧 |
| [16:58] | Did you say something about | 你不是说 |
| [17:00] | this one bringing in something for these people? | 这小家伙有什么要带给大家的吗？ |
| [17:03] | Yes. Cece wanted to thank everybody | 对，塞西想要感谢大家 |
| [17:06] | for letting her daddy stay home with her all last week and play | 让他爸爸上周能在家陪她万一整周 |
| [17:10] | so she brought you a little treat | 所以她带了点小礼物 |
| [17:11] | Oh, cookies? | 饼干？ |
| [17:13] | No. But that would have been a really good idea | 不，这真是个很棒的主意 |
| [17:14] | That would have been really good | 我们怎么没想到 |
| [17:15] | No, she brought you drawings | 不，她带了她的画 |
| [17:18] | Oh, my goodness, let’s take a look at these | 哦，天哪，我来看看 |
| [17:21] | They’re usually amazing so let’s see. Yep, they are | 她画得棒极了，我们看看 真的很不错 |
| [17:26] | Uncle Andy | 安迪叔叔 |
| [17:27] | Oh | |
| [17:28] | Aunt Phyllis | 菲丽丝阿姨 |
| [17:29] | Wow. These are incredible Cece, did you do these? | 这些画得太好了 |
| [17:33] | No | –塞西，这是你画的吗？ –不 |
| [17:34] | She says no to everything. You know, she thinks my name is “No.’ | 她只会说“不” 她以为我的名字就是“不” |
| [17:38] | Cece, do you want some broccoli? | –塞西，你想吃西兰花吗？ |
| [17:39] | Yes | –好的 |
| [17:41] | No | 错了 |
| [17:42] | It’s crazy | 难以置信 |
| [17:44] | Why am I shorter than the table that I’m standing next to? | 为啥我比旁边的桌子要矮？ |
| [17:47] | There is crosshatching in some of these | 这些画还用上了剖面图 |
| [17:49] | That’s kind of advanced for a 2-year-old. | 这对两岁的孩子来说太高级了吧 |
| [17:51] | Cece, this is your big sister, Kelly | 塞西，我是你的大姐姐，凯莉 |
| [17:55] | Did you color this pretty picture? | –这个画的颜色是你涂的吗？ |
| [17:56] | No | –不 |
| [17:57] | So then this means nothing to you? | 所以你一定不介意我这样了？ |
| [18:01] | Hey, Cece | 嘿，塞西 |
| [18:03] | why don’t you draw another picture for us exactly like this one | 不如你再画一个跟这个一样的画 |
| [18:07] | or at least in the exact same style? | 或者是风格一样的画？ |
| [18:10] | You know what? I don’t think you need to do things on command. | 不是别人说啥你都要做 |
| [18:13] | That’s very weird Just take that. Thank you. | 那不合适，这个给我 谢谢 |
| [18:16] | I think we should just wrap up the show kiddos, right? | 我看我们的拜访结束了，孩子们？ |
| [18:20] | Else we can do here | 我不知道你们还能做什么？ |
| [18:23] | Okay. All right | 好了 |
| [18:24] | It’s okay, sweetie All right | –没事的，宝贝 –没事的 |
| [18:26] | All right. Okay | 好了 |
| [18:31] | It’s okay | 没关系 |
| [18:32] | Shh | 我知道 好吧，到这边来 |
| [18:36] | Angela, this child is definitely mine. He looks just like me | 安杰拉，这个孩子肯定是我的 长得很像我 |
| [18:41] | Every baby looks just like you | 每个婴儿长得都像你 |
| [18:42] | Your face kind of looks like a baby | 你长了一张婴儿脸 |
| [18:44] | Need I remind you that we were together a month before the wedding? | 需要我提醒你 你结婚前一个月我们还在一起吗？ |
| [18:49] | That is completely untrue | –这不是真的 |
| [18:51] | Completely true | –绝对是真的 |
| [18:52] | No Remember? | –不 –记得吗？ |
| [18:53] | You said that Robert was not fulfilling you | 你说过罗伯特满足不了你 |
| [18:55] | And I said that I could fulfill you | 然后我说，我能满足你 |
| [18:56] | and you said “I’d like to see you try.’ | 然后你说：“要不来试试” |
| [18:58] | And then I kissed you with the force of a thousand waterfalls | 然后我忘情地亲吻你 |
| [19:00] | That didn’t happen | 没有的事 |
| [19:01] | Then I inserted my penis into your… | –然后我把我的小弟弟插… |
| [19:03] | No! Stop it! Dwight | –不！别说了！德怀特 |
| [19:05] | …vagina and | –…入阴道，然后… –即使真的发生过 |
| [19:06] | And even if it did, it’s just a coincidence | 也只是巧合 |
| [19:07] | Admit that there is a chance. I will not | –承认有这个可能 –我才会不 |
| [19:09] | Admit it I will not | –承认吧 –不可能 |
| [19:10] | It’s not | 不是… |
| [19:12] | All done? Yes | –完事了？ –是的 |
| [19:13] | Yes. He’s sleeping | 是的，他在睡觉 |
| [19:15] | Before I go, may I? | 走之前，能抱抱吗？ |
| [19:17] | Sure | 当然 |
| [19:19] | Watch the head | Watch the head 小心头，小心头 |
| [19:31] | Nurse! You know that baby in there? Baby Philip? | 护士，你知道里面那个婴儿菲利普吗？ |
| [19:33] | Cancel the circumcision | 不用行割礼了 |
| [19:35] | Who are you? | 你是谁？ 我很可能是他的父亲 |
| [19:41] | What that means | 我不知道这是什么意思 |
| [19:44] | We’re going to circumcise him | 我们会为他行割礼 我知道，我知道 |
| [19:48] | Cece, want to come? | –塞西，要来吗？想要出来吗？ |
| [19:49] | No | –不！ |
| [19:50] | Want to come play? Oh, bud, I know. | 想要来玩吗？伙计，我知道 |
| [19:52] | Do you have a pacifier? | 有奶嘴吗？ |
| [19:53] | Yeah. I’m looking I’m looking for the pacifier. | 我在找，我在找奶嘴呢 |
| [19:56] | Cece Okay, we’re going | –塞西！ –我们走了 |
| [19:57] | We got to go All right, we’re going home | 我们得走了，好的，我们回家了 |
| [20:01] | I know | 好了，好了，宝贝，我知道 |
| [20:05] | You gotta grab her I’ll go grab her. Okay | –你得去把她带来 –我去带她过来 |
| [20:07] | Okay. Here we go Here we go. | –好了，我们走了 –好了，没事了 |
| [20:10] | Okay, I’m just going to go down to the car, and I’m going to put her | 我送他们去车上，把她放在 |
| [20:12] | in her seat and I’ll be right back up | 婴儿椅上，然后我马上就回来 |
| [20:16] | We’ll see you tomorrow | 明天见吧 |
| [20:17] | No, no, it’s okay I’ll be right back. | 不，没事的，我马上回来 |
| [20:18] | No, just go home | 别，回家吧 |
| [20:20] | It’s all good We got this. | 没事的，我们能处理 我有个孩子 |
| [20:23] | Last week Jim at home | 上个礼拜，杰姆在家 |
| [20:27] | that was no vacation | 那可不是度假 |
| [20:29] | Jim, just go | 杰姆，得走了 |
| [20:30] | Hey, we’ll be just fine | 嘿，我们能搞定 |
| [20:34] | Thanks, guys | 谢谢了，伙计们 |
| [20:36] | All right, here we go Let’s go | 好了，我们走，回家了 |
| [20:39] | Oh! | |
| [20:41] | Phew | |
| [20:52] | Dwight, what the hell? | 德怀特，你干什么呢？ |
| [20:55] | You can’t smoke in here | 这里禁止吸烟 |
| [20:56] | Oh, all right | 好吧 |
| [20:59] | Ah | |
| [21:00] | The office looks different now Mmm | 办公室看起来不一样了 |
| [21:02] | Smaller | 更小了 |
| [21:04] | Maybe I just feel bigger | 也许我变得更大了 |
| [21:07] | Hello, Gabe | –你好，盖比 |
| [21:08] | You had something important to tell me? | –你有重要的事情找我？ |
| [21:10] | Oh. You know, I did but now it seems infinitely insignificant | 本来是有的，但是现在太不重要了 |
| [21:15] | Jim? Oh, right No, forget it. | 杰姆？对了 算了，别管他 |
| [21:18] | He was doing it for his kids I get it | 他是为了孩子，我懂的 |
| [21:21] | Kids drive us dads crazy. | 孩子们让我们当爸爸的抓狂 |
| [21:24] | Sometimes I feel like they’re raising us. | 有时候我觉得是他们来在养我们 |
| [21:26] | Am I right? | 不是吗？ |