| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Today is the test paunch day for the inaugural Sabre store. | 今天是萨布尔首发实体店试营业的大日子 |
| [00:06] | And I, Dwight Schrute, am in charge of the entire operation. | 而我，德怀特舒特，是此次活动的总负责人 |
| [00:10] | If I can prove myself today and the store is a hit with the media, | 如果我今天可以证明自己的实力 这店受到了媒体的欢迎 |
| [00:13] | and Nellie sees this, the vice presidency is mine | 然后内莉又看在眼里的话 副主席的位置就唾手可得了 |
| [00:17] | Hey, are you holding this chair? | 凳子你扶着没？ |
| [00:18] | Because I feel like I’m going to fall off | –我怎么感觉要掉下来了 –扶着了 |
| [00:20] | Yeah. Yes. Yes I’m not wearing the right shoes for this | –好 –我今天的鞋子穿得不对 |
| [00:22] | We went over this, okay? | 这事儿我们谈过的，好吗？ |
| [00:23] | Your tiny fingers make the best knots | 你的小手指最适合打结了 |
| [00:25] | Hey, strangers. I’m so stoked for the Sabre store opening | 嘿，陌生人，好激动啊 萨布尔零售店要开业了 |
| [00:32] | Hey, my name’s Tabitha I’m camped out in front of the Sabre store | 嘿，我叫塔比莎，我在萨布尔商店门口露营 |
| [00:35] | so I can be first in line for the new Pyramid. | 这样我就可以第一个买到新的金字塔电脑了 |
| [00:38] | Psst | |
| [00:39] | It’s me, Erin. Dwight had me pretend to be a hipster | 是我啊，艾琳，德怀特让我扮脑残粉来造势 |
| [00:42] | to create hype and it’s working | 好有效呢 |
| [00:44] | There’s already people camped out behind me | 已经有人在我后面安营扎寨了 （斯克兰顿 欢迎您） 办公室 |
| [01:00] | NELLIE Test launch day, people. | 试营业日，各位 |
| [01:02] | Now, I would like to fill you in on a little secret about me | 好了，我跟你讲点我的小秘密哦 |
| [01:07] | To inspire you today | 激励你们一下 |
| [01:08] | Now I know you probably all think I’m this patrician goddess | 我知道在你们眼里，我都是高贵冷艳的女神 |
| [01:12] | But here’s the truth | 但是我现在要给真相了 |
| [01:14] | I was born in the little working-class town of Basildon | 我出生在巴斯顿的一个普通工人家庭 |
| [01:18] | and until the age of 32 | 一直到32岁，我讲话都这味儿 |
| [01:20] | I talked like this | |
| [01:21] | Which was bloody horrendous, innit? | 这他妈的真可怕啊，是哈？ |
| [01:24] | No, lower than | 我出自淤泥啊，不对，是比那还低档次 |
| [01:28] | What’s lower than dirt? | 淤泥底下还能有什么？ |
| [01:29] | Loam. Magma. Mantle Outer core. Inner core. | 土，岩浆，地幔，外核，内核 |
| [01:32] | Yeah, thank you. Loam. Bloody loam I came from | 多谢，我就是从那该死的土里爬出来的 |
| [01:36] | when I auditioned for the Spice Girls | 我霉到想骂娘啊，我当年还去面试 想加入辣妹组合来着的 |
| [01:39] | get a callback | 他们都没给我回音儿 |
| [01:40] | Which Spice Girl? | –辣妹里面的那个 |
| [01:42] | The black one | –黑的那个 我一点机会都没有 |
| [01:46] | Okay | –好吧 |
| [01:47] | Now think about my journey here today | –好了，想想姐这一路走来的艰辛吧 |
| [01:49] | and let it inspire your journey. | 你们现在是不是感觉充满了力量 |
| [01:52] | Okay Nellie, thank you Thank you so much | 好了，内莉，谢谢 |
| [01:54] | Yep. Yep | –忠心感谢 –嗯 |
| [01:55] | Today is press day, and press is going to make or break this store | 今天是媒体日，这店成败都在于媒体 |
| [02:00] | And for a tech company press can only mean one thing, bloggers. | 我们是个高科技公司 媒体就只会是一件事情，博客男 |
| [02:04] | Dossier on bloggers | 博客男的资料 |
| [02:06] | Bloggers are gross Bloggers are obese. Bloggers have halitosis | 博客男很恶心啊，博客男都是死肥子 博客男都有口臭 |
| [02:12] | You’re going to love them | 你会爱死他们的 |
| [02:14] | Ryan is going to be the main event today | 莱恩今天会是大主角 |
| [02:16] | He is the pitchman who is going to give | 他会是今天的推销员，会给大家带来打了鸡血 |
| [02:19] | the feisty yet profound speech | 但是又深刻的演讲 |
| [02:21] | worthy of a world’s fair. Ryan, you ready to do this? | 完全是世界级的，莱恩，你准备好了吗？ |
| [02:23] | When people see this presentation, | 大家看了我的演示，绝对会惊到他们大小便失禁 |
| [02:25] | they’re going to * in their pants | |
| [02:26] | Come on, man. – Come on | –好了，老兄 –来 |
| [02:27] | Okay Seriously disgusting | –好吧 –真恶心 |
| [02:29] | Cathy, you will be the hot girl who talks to bloggers | 凯茜，你就扮跟那些呆子搭讪的靓妹 |
| [02:32] | Ugh! Kill me It was my idea | 不如杀了我算了，那是我的主意 |
| [02:34] | Packer, you will be the sexual predator who has come to prey | 帕克，你扮演的角色是个大色狼 |
| [02:37] | on the trendy teenage girls who are obsessed with the Pyramid | 对赶时髦的超迷金字塔电脑的 |
| [02:40] | Uh… – Ah | 小萝莉们虎视眈眈 |
| [02:42] | That is excellent | –这主意高 |
| [02:43] | I don’t see what that gets us, | –我不知道会有什么结果 |
| [02:44] | but I’m a team player | 不过我还是尊重团队的意思吧 |
| [02:45] | Perfect casting, right? | 演员阵容太强大了，对不？ |
| [02:47] | Schrute’s out to get me, but I’m playing the long game | 舒特是想整我，但是放个线 |
| [02:50] | As soon as he messes up I swoop in like a sexual predator. | 一旦他控制不住局面 我就会一秒钟变色狼 |
| [02:55] | Of wonder and enthusiasm | 我要营造一种神奇雀跃的感觉 |
| [02:59] | as if at the end of E.T., candy poured out of the screen. | 就好像是《外星人》的结尾那样 糖果喷涌几乎都要跃出屏幕来 |
| [03:04] | Do you understand? | 懂吗？ |
| [03:06] | Goose pimples | 我要那种起鸡皮疙瘩的感觉 |
| [03:08] | Speaking of pimples let’s release the bloggers! | 说到青春疙瘩豆，开门放博客男！ |
| [03:14] | Morning, everyone | 各位，早上好 |
| [03:16] | Oh, Andy, guess what happened to me this morning | 安迪，猜我今早有啥新闻？ |
| [03:17] | Don’t care. Tell me later Listen, it’s important. | –不关心，以后再告诉吧 –听着，很重要的 |
| [03:19] | You’ve got to hear this | 我不吐不快啊 |
| [03:22] | What do you got? | 说吧 |
| [03:24] | Oh, my God Do you have a black eye? | –我的天 –你那眼眶怎么都紫了啊？ |
| [03:26] | Yes, I do, Phyllis | 是啊，没错，菲利斯 |
| [03:27] | I woke up at 4:00 a.m by accident | 我今天一不小心凌晨四点就醒了 |
| [03:29] | in time for the paper to be delivered | 刚好是送报纸的时间 |
| [03:31] | Guess what? | 你晓得吗？ |
| [03:32] | It’s not a kid on a bike It’s a man in a car | 不是骑车的小孩儿送的，而是开车的老爷们 |
| [03:36] | Andy, who punched you? | 安迪，是谁打你的啊？ |
| [03:37] | Hey, I was on the can What’s this about a black guy in the office? | 嘿，我刚才在上厕所 你们在办公室里谈什么黑男子啊？ |
| [03:40] | Black eye, Meredith | 是紫眼眶，梅瑞狄斯 |
| [03:42] | Will someone please explain what’s going on here? | 谁能告诉我到底怎么回事啊？ |
| [03:44] | Since the interesting thing happened until now so much time has passed | 从那有意思的事情开始到现在 都过了那么长时间了 |
| [03:48] | It’s like my life is buffering | 感觉我的人生都在缓冲中 |
| [03:50] | Here’s what happened Pam and I were arriving for the day | 是这样的，潘和我到了这打算上班 |
| [03:53] | and there was a gang in the parking lot, on bikes, on motorcycles | 停车场有帮流氓，骑着自行车，摩托车 |
| [03:58] | And they just were hassling Pam. | –他们在骚扰潘 |
| [04:00] | That’s true. | –没错 |
| [04:02] | They had weapons. | –他们还有家伙 |
| [04:03] | Weapons. | –带了家伙 |
| [04:05] | To talk some sense into them. | 我就挺身而出，想跟他们讲讲道理 |
| [04:07] | But these were not the kind of people who use their words. | 但是这些人明显只会动手，不肯动口 |
| [04:10] | Punches were going, and I ducked a few, | 他们不断地冲我挥拳，我躲过了几次 |
| [04:13] | landed a couple, and I was fighting them off. | 打中了几次，我打得他们颠儿了 |
| [04:15] | It was a totally like, senseless crime | 这完全就是一场没来由的犯罪 |
| [04:19] | Thank goodness he was there. – Good job, Andy. | –幸亏有他在啊，上帝保佑 –英雄啊，安迪 这都是我应该做的 |
| [04:23] | Any of you wouldn’t have done. | 换了你们，也会的 |
| [04:27] | Open the gates | 开门了！ |
| [04:29] | There’s plenty for everyone No need to panic | 大家都有份儿，别着急着忙的啦 |
| [04:32] | There’s plenty for everyone There’s plenty | 大家都有份儿，多得是… |
| [04:35] | Don’t stampede. No need to stampede, sir | 别挤啊，没必要挤的，先生 |
| [04:38] | Okay, okay! Hey, hey It’s going to be fine It’s going to be fine | 好了，嘿！ 没事的！不会有事的 |
| [04:42] | There’s plenty of Pyramids | –金字塔多得是 |
| [04:44] | Come on, I was in line before you | –我排在你前面的啊 |
| [04:46] | So you’re a blogger, right? | –你挺爱发博客的，对吗？ |
| [04:48] | Yeah | –是啊 |
| [04:50] | Blogger | –博客男 |
| [04:51] | God, stay away | –天啊，不是吧 |
| [04:55] | Oh, I always get in trouble around bloggers | 博客男一多，我就有点把持不住 |
| [04:56] | I’m trying to be a good girl for once | 这次我好想做个好姑娘 |
| [04:59] | Uh, yeah, I already bought my Pyramid but I don’t want to leave yet. | 嗯，没错，我已经买了金字塔了 但我还流连忘返呢 |
| [05:02] | Since seeing Zooey Deschanel | 自从在柯契拉音乐节见过佐伊丹斯切尔后 |
| [05:05] | at the Coachella music festival. So fun. | 我还从来没这么欢乐过，太欢乐了 |
| [05:09] | How can we feel safe knowing that there are gangs here? | 都知道有流氓在这附近混了 我们哪里还有安全感啊？ |
| [05:11] | We should call the police right now – Yes | –我们应该现在就报警 –对 |
| [05:13] | No, no, no, no, no, no We don’t need to call the police. | 不行，不，咱们没必要跟警察打电话 |
| [05:16] | They’ll just ask everybody questions | 他们只会来质询每个人 |
| [05:18] | get up in everyone’s business right, Pam? | 把你们都烦死，对吧，潘？ |
| [05:20] | Police are a hassle We settled this on the street | 警察只会越帮越忙 这种事应该用道上的方法解决 |
| [05:23] | And my eye will heal. But if the police come | 我眼睛早晚会好，但如果叫来了警察 |
| [05:26] | then we will forever stain our neighborhood as a troubled area | 咱这片地方就会被当作问题地区 |
| [05:29] | Why would you care what the police think of our neighborhood? | 你管警察怎么看咱们这片地方呢？ |
| [05:33] | Because I have neighborhood pride | 因为我以这里为骄傲 |
| [05:38] | Guys, guys that’s so vague | –弟兄们，弟兄们这范围大了点 |
| [05:41] | You got to do the zip plus four | 你得补齐后四位 |
| [05:43] | 18505-7427 | 18505横杠7427 |
| [05:47] | Look, I don’t feel safe I think we should call the police. | 我还是觉得不安全，咱们还是报警吧 |
| [05:51] | Yes Exactly, we need to feel safe, | –对 –说得很对，我们必须有安全感 |
| [05:53] | which is why Toby is teaching us self-defense. | 所以… 托比要教我们防身术 |
| [05:59] | Me? | 我？ |
| [06:00] | Toby, will you teach us self-defense? | –托比，你能教我们防身术么？ |
| [06:02] | Yeah. I can’t believe you remembered | –当然，我不敢相信你还记得 |
| [06:05] | I’ll go put on my cup | 我会防身术，我去穿上我的护裆 |
| [06:09] | Great | 好极了 |
| [06:10] | Yes – Okay. | –耶 –好 |
| [06:11] | One of you was Chuck | 我不太确定你们当中谁是《超市特工》里的恰克 |
| [06:14] | Yeah, no, it seems to be going great. | 不，一切看起来都挺好 |
| [06:17] | Andy got beat up by a fifth grade girl? | 安迪被一个五年级女生给揍了？ |
| [06:19] | Look at that guy, he’s got a Sabre phone on him, | 看那家伙，他腰里别着萨布尔电话 |
| [06:21] | he’s not even using it | 但他用都没用 |
| [06:23] | This is a perfect photo for my daily fail blog. | 这照片放在我的每日糗事博客上简直完美 |
| [06:26] | Uh, I got to go Okay. | 我得挂了 |
| [06:29] | Dwight, what is a fail? That sounds bad. | 德怀特，糗事是什么？ 听上去不是什么好事儿 |
| [06:31] | No, no, no, it’s good It’s really | 不，这好得很，这个真的… |
| [06:33] | On the Internet, that’s a really good good thing | 在网上，这就是顶呱呱，一级棒啊 |
| [06:37] | Are you trying to sabotage this entire event? | 你想把整个活动都毁于一旦吗？ |
| [06:39] | I’m very sorry | 我很抱歉 |
| [06:40] | We gave you an Arrowhead for free for the day. | 我们专门为了今天 免费送你一台新款箭头型号 |
| [06:45] | How hard would it have been to do this? Hmm? | 让你这么做是有多难？ |
| [06:49] | Hello. Hi, sweetie, it’s Jim I’m calling you from my new Arrowhead | 嗨，亲爱的，我是杰姆 在用最新款箭头型号给你打电话 |
| [06:53] | which is why my voice is crystal clear | 所以我声音通彻清晰，而且手也不酸 |
| [06:55] | and my hand won’t ever get tired | |
| [06:57] | because of the ergonomic shape | 因为这是按人体工学设计的 |
| [06:59] | I’m really sorry Is there anything I can do? Maybe pretend to be Chuck? | 真的很抱歉，有什么我可以做的吗？ 也许可以装成恰克？ |
| [07:03] | You could have pretended to be Chuck | 你本来可以装成恰克 |
| [07:04] | I begged you to pretend to be Chuck | 我苦苦哀求你装成恰克 |
| [07:06] | But you chose to be yourself and you can no longer be Chuck. | 但你宁死不从，现在你想装都没得装了 |
| [07:09] | Surrender the tri-pack | 交出三角包 |
| [07:16] | You know what you have to do | 你自己知道该干嘛 （开业大吉） |
| [07:24] | Point it towards the store, idiot | 指着店门口，猪脑！ |
| [07:36] | You know what I mean? | 你知道我什么意思吗？ |
| [07:38] | Pick one of these buttons and just | 从这些按键里选一个… |
| [07:41] | Damn it. Take over | 他奶奶的，你来接手 |
| [07:44] | Oh, hey, hey, hey, you guys You must be lost | 嘿，老人家，你们是迷路了吧？ |
| [07:46] | Listen. Excuse me, sir | 听我说，抱歉，先生 |
| [07:48] | The fountain where you can feed the pigeons is out behind the bank. | 喂鸽子的那个喷泉在银行后面 |
| [07:51] | Tell your great-grandson to bring his kid by. | 叫你们的曾孙把他的小孩带来玩 |
| [07:53] | Okay, so long Here we go. | 好的，拜拜，就这样 |
| [07:55] | Erin! Psst! Come on | 艾琳，快来 |
| [07:57] | The elderly suck the life out of the young Get them out of here | 这些老不死的把年轻人的活力都榨干了 让他们快走 |
| [08:00] | We are closed Come on | 我们关门了，走吧 |
| [08:03] | Self-defense is not some fun boxing match okay? | 防身术可不是什么好玩的拳击比赛 |
| [08:06] | This is about escaping with your life | 这事关逃命，所以猛击，尖叫，逃跑 （猛击 |
| [08:08] | So strike scream and run | 尖叫 逃跑） |
| [08:13] | All right, let’s try it | 好吗，我们来演练下 |
| [08:20] | That may have been my fault. | –貌似是我教错了 |
| [08:21] | What the hell, Toby? | –搞什么东西，托比？ |
| [08:22] | Okay, look in a real crisis situation | 听着，在真的危急关头，你没时间思考 |
| [08:25] | you’re not going to have time to think. | |
| [08:27] | Okay? So just remember IAATG | 对不？那就记住朝着蛋蛋踢 |
| [08:30] | “It’s All About The Groin.’ | “朝着蛋蛋踢” |
| [08:32] | What if you’re being attacked by a smallish man | 如果你是被一个比较袖珍 |
| [08:37] | who happens to not have a groin? | 又恰巧没有蛋蛋的男性攻击呢 |
| [08:39] | I don’t think that’s very common | 这百年难得一见 |
| [08:41] | But what if you’re being attacked | 如果你是被一个身高一米五 |
| [08:43] | by a 4’11” man who’s penis-less | 还木没有小鸡鸡的男性攻击呢 |
| [08:46] | Why are you fixated on this hypothetical transgendered attacker? | 你怎么一直纠结于这个假想人妖袭击者呢？ |
| [08:49] | Why don’t we start with the basics? | 咱还是从基础学起吧 |
| [08:50] | Show us how to defend ourself against a baby | 教我们遇到婴儿时如何自卫 |
| [08:53] | and then like a fifth-grade girl | 然后教遇到5年级小女孩时怎么自卫 |
| [08:55] | and then, you know, if we have time on up to a scary man | 然后，如果你有时间 再教遇到彪形大汉时的状况 |
| [08:59] | The most common scenario is a larger man attacking a smaller female | 一般常见情况是彪形大汉袭击弱女子 |
| [09:03] | So in that scenario what if the victim | 在这种情况下，如果受袭者一记老拳 |
| [09:08] | sucker punches the attacker in the face? | 打在袭击者脸上 |
| [09:10] | What can the attacker then do to better protect himself? | 袭击者要怎么保护他自己呢？ |
| [09:14] | It’s interesting that you’re drawn | 你提到从袭击者的角度来看问题 |
| [09:15] | to the point of view of the attacker | 还挺有趣 |
| [09:17] | You would like The Turn of the Table. | 也许你是想换个角度看问题 |
| [09:20] | Okay? The latest Chad Flenderman novel | 好吧，最新的查德弗兰德曼小说 |
| [09:23] | From the point of view of his nemesis, Dr. Lucifer Woo. | 就是从他的宿敌路西法吴博士角度来写的 |
| [09:26] | Can I please leave? I have a rape flute. | 我能走了么？我有防强奸长笛 |
| [09:28] | All right, well let’s try one simple technique together | 这样，我们就一起学一个简单的技巧好了 |
| [09:31] | Okay, why doesn’t everyone stand? | 大家都站起来，好的，你被袭击了 |
| [09:32] | Okay, so you’re being attacked | |
| [09:34] | you’ve got your hands up simple palm strike to the chin | 手是举起来的，简洁有力的掌击对方下巴 |
| [09:37] | Up to the chin One, two | 直击下巴，一，二 |
| [09:40] | One, two | 一，二 |
| [09:42] | One, two | –一，二 –吃我如来神掌，小王八羔子 |
| [09:44] | Cathy, I would like to introduce you to Fatty Gruesome | 凯茜，我要介绍你这位胖总兵 |
| [09:48] | He is a freelancer for Wired magazine | 他是连线杂志的自由记者 |
| [09:51] | Patty Grossman I’m a woman. | 帕蒂格罗斯曼，我是女的 |
| [09:53] | But you still work for Wired, right? | 但你还是在《连线》杂志工作，没错吧？ |
| [09:54] | Yes Good. | –没错 –那就好 |
| [09:56] | Okay. Flirt away | 卖弄风骚吧，少女 |
| [09:59] | Sabre. It’s time to come home. | 萨布尔公司，是时候重回故里了 |
| [10:05] | Yeah | 还行 |
| [10:07] | Yeah. I mean, I think It seemed like you were a little nervous. | 还行，我觉得…就是有一点点紧张 |
| [10:10] | Yeah, no * Sherlock | 废话，还用你说，福尔摩斯 |
| [10:11] | Can somebody please tell me something encouraging | 人家都要演讲了，在我上台 |
| [10:13] | about this presentation | 面对这么一百万黑压压的人群之前 |
| [10:14] | before I go out there in front of a million people and do it? | 就没人能跟我说点鼓舞士气的话吗？ |
| [10:16] | Okay. I know! I know, champ | 好吧，我知道，我懂，帅哥 |
| [10:17] | Just calm down because, listen | 淡定点，因为，听我说 |
| [10:19] | when you are out in front of a those people | 当你在人群中闪亮登场的时候 |
| [10:21] | Yeah, what? | –是啊，怎么样？ |
| [10:22] | …you just need to realize | –你必须要明白 |
| [10:23] | so much rides on this | 你身兼重任啊 |
| [10:27] | You have no idea | 重到你无法想象 |
| [10:28] | Dwight | –德怀特 |
| [10:30] | I’m trying to make him feel important | –我在让他觉得自己至关重要 |
| [10:32] | I wish Kelly were here. She always knew what to say | 神啊，要是凯莉在就好了 |
| [10:35] | Um | 她最知道这时候该说什么了 |
| [10:38] | Oh, Ryan, you’re so smart | 莱恩，你那么聪明绝顶 |
| [10:40] | You’re smarter than Mark Zuckerberg | 你比马克扎克伯格 |
| [10:42] | and those Google guys all combined. | 跟那些谷歌精英加起来还要天才的多 |
| [10:46] | You’re so ignorant. You barely know what you’re talking about. | 你这大白痴，根本不知道自己在说什么 |
| [10:48] | It’s so ridiculous | 简直荒谬透顶 |
| [10:50] | You really need to read a couple of books | 你真该去多读点书 |
| [10:52] | What’s a book? | 书是什么东西？ |
| [10:54] | Oh, my God You’re so embarrassing | 我的老天啊，你真是太丢人现眼了 |
| [10:57] | My mom would say the best stuff though | 但我妈妈还可以说得更好 |
| [11:06] | You can | 你可以… |
| [11:09] | You can do it, Ryan | –你做得到，莱恩 |
| [11:10] | And you know that I’m capable of this? | –而且你很清楚我可以做到？ |
| [11:13] | You’re the only one who can do it, sweetie | 舍你其谁啊，心肝宝贝 |
| [11:15] | What did you think of the presentation? | –你觉得我演讲得怎么样？ |
| [11:17] | I thought it was great, sweetie | –我觉得简直棒极了，小甜心 |
| [11:20] | I would just fix that one | –只要你弥补一下… |
| [11:21] | “Fix” means you hate it I knew it! | –“弥补”就是说烂毙了！我就知道 |
| [11:23] | I need something to drink! | –我要喝点东西 |
| [11:25] | Jim, get him a water | –杰姆，给他拿瓶水 |
| [11:26] | No, not a water a sports drink! | 不要水，运动饮料 |
| [11:27] | I hate everything in that fridge | 那个冰箱里的我都好讨厌 |
| [11:29] | Not red! Get me something yellow or green | 不要红的，给我来从附近的商店 |
| [11:31] | from a nearby store Not red! | 买点黄的或者绿的回来，不要红的 |
| [11:34] | Why are you just standing there? | 你还傻愣在那儿干嘛？ |
| [11:35] | Go to a nearby store and get him a yellow or green sports drink. | 赶快去附近的商店给他买黄色 或者绿色的运动饮料 |
| [11:40] | Now if your attacker is willing to defile a corpse | （“装死”） 现在如果攻击你的人表态到想奸尸 |
| [11:43] | you better stop playing dead right away | 你就立马别再装尸体 |
| [11:46] | and just make it known that you’re alive | 表现出你还存活的迹象象 |
| [11:48] | Forgive me for interrupting | 抱歉打扰了 |
| [11:50] | had an altercation with somebody here | 我女儿和这里的某人发生过争执 |
| [11:53] | some fancy gentleman with a squeaky voice? | 某个声音很尖，穿得衣冠楚楚的绅士？ |
| [11:55] | I think you guys might have the wrong office | 你们貌似是找错办公室了？ |
| [11:57] | That’s him. The guy I hit | –就是他，我打的就是那个男的 |
| [11:59] | What? | –什么？ |
| [12:00] | You’ve got to be kidding me. | –你跟我开玩笑吧？ |
| [12:02] | Poor Andy | –可怜的安迪 |
| [12:04] | First you got beat up by a gang and now she kicks your ass | 先是被流氓往死里揍 |
| [12:08] | No, Kevin | –现在又被这小女孩痛殴 –不对，凯文 |
| [12:09] | What about the lady you hit with a pinecone? | 被你用松果打到的女士是哪位？ |
| [12:11] | There. That chubby one | 那里，那个胖乎乎的 |
| [12:15] | Yesterday? | –我刚生了小孩 –昨天生的？ |
| [12:16] | Wow. Apologize | –喔 –道歉 |
| [12:19] | Sorry I kicked your ass in front of your “thin” girlfriend | 对不起，我在你“窈窕”的女朋友面前 把你痛扁了一顿 |
| [12:22] | How about we wait until next year after you have your kid? | 等着瞧你明年生完孩子是什么德性 |
| [12:24] | You know what? Tiffany’s going to college | 你知道吗？蒂凡尼是要上大学的 |
| [12:27] | Listen I don’t know what you guys are talking about, | 听着，我不知道你们在说啥 |
| [12:29] | but I guess I’ll just accept your apology so we can get on with our day | 但我会接受你们的道歉，然后度过今天 |
| [12:33] | God bless. A friend of mine uses your paper | 上帝保佑 |
| [12:36] | You do good work | 我有个朋友用的是你家的纸 你们干的不错 |
| [12:38] | Bye-bye. | Bye –再见 –拜拜 |
| [12:40] | So, Toby, I think we should do a different self-defense seminar | 托比，我觉得咱们应该开一堂 别开生面的的自卫教学课 |
| [12:44] | how to protect ourselves against tiny little girls. | 小女孩王八拳自保指南 |
| [12:46] | There’s no shame in getting beaten up by a girl | 被女孩欺负又不丢人 |
| [12:49] | My ex-wife used to demolish me. | 我前妻就经常家暴我 |
| [12:52] | No, there is shame in it, okay? | 不行，必须觉得丢人，好吗？ |
| [12:53] | We have to draw the line somewhere. | 做人总得有点下限吧 |
| [12:55] | Oh, my God I think I see the imprint of a Ring Pop | 老天爷，我好像看到了戒指打出的印子 |
| [12:57] | Oh | |
| [13:01] | Have you seen Erin? | –你看见艾琳没？ |
| [13:02] | I’m on break | –我在休息 |
| [13:06] | Oh, my God | 天啊 |
| [13:08] | No, hey, bloggers, where do you think you’re going? | 嘿，博客男，你们要去哪儿？ |
| [13:09] | No, you got to stay for the big presentation | 不行，你们必须留下来看大型演讲 |
| [13:11] | We got this young whiz kid, Ryan | 咱们这儿有个天才少年，莱恩 |
| [13:12] | He’s like an even more handsome Bill Gates | 简直就是比尔盖茨英俊版 |
| [13:14] | When’s the presentation? | –演讲是什么时候？ |
| [13:15] | It’s moments away Just stay here | –马上就要开始了，别动 |
| [13:17] | Hey, Uncle Lucas it’s your nephew, Ryan | 嘿，卢卡斯叔叔，我是你的侄子，莱恩 |
| [13:20] | Honestly, I could use a prescription for Ritalin right now | 老实说，我需要你给我开点利他灵 |
| [13:24] | Well, I know you did one for Aunt Carol. | 我知道你给卡罗尔阿姨开过 |
| [13:27] | So it’s different because it’s your wife? | 她是你老婆就可以随便开啊 |
| [13:29] | Well, that doesn’t make any sense to me | 我觉得这根本说不通啊 |
| [13:32] | How are you doing? Don’t talk to me right now | –你怎么样了？ –不要跟老子说话 |
| [13:33] | I’m sorry. I know you’re my boss | 对不起，我知道你是我上司 |
| [13:35] | but seriously, you need to get | 但说真的，你给我 |
| [13:36] | the hell out of my face | 有多远滚多远 |
| [13:40] | Your little man is unraveling. Now go and fix it | 你那位小兄弟要彻底崩溃了 现在去把这事给我搞定 |
| [13:45] | Sorry about kicking you out | 抱歉刚刚把你赶出来了 |
| [13:47] | It’s just we don’t want our brand associated with death | 只是我们品牌不想跟死扯上关系 |
| [13:50] | It’s okay I’ll go to the Costco and search for handsome men | 没事的，我可以去超市钓帅哥 |
| [13:55] | You’re not married yet? | –你还没结婚？ |
| [13:56] | Oh, I was. My husband was my best friend | –结过，我丈夫是我最好的朋友 |
| [14:01] | He passed away | 他去世了 |
| [14:04] | My best friend was my boss, Andy | 我最好的朋友是我老板，安迪 |
| [14:07] | We dated for a while but since then, | 我们谈过恋爱 |
| [14:09] | he rejected me and we’re not really friends | 但后来他把我拒绝了，我们也算不上是朋友 |
| [14:11] | Someone rejected you? With that body and those bazongas? | 还有人拒绝你？ 这身材和这巨乳？ |
| [14:16] | Forget him | 忘了他 |
| [14:18] | Yeah. Forget him And you should forget your husband | 对，忘了他！你也该忘了你老公 |
| [14:23] | Well | 这个嘛… |
| [14:25] | How long has he been in the bathroom? | –他上厕所上了多久了？ |
| [14:27] | Like 10 minutes | –差不多十分钟 |
| [14:28] | Geez, what’s he doing in there? | 我去，他到底在里面干嘛？ |
| [14:30] | Oh, that’s my phone | 我电话响了，我可以接还是说你又要发飙？ |
| [14:31] | Am I allowed to answer it or are you going to freak out? | |
| [14:32] | Are there bloggers around? | 这周围有博客男吗？ |
| [14:34] | It’s Ryan | 是莱恩 |
| [14:35] | “I’m sorry. I lied I’m not in the bathroom | “对不起，我说了谎，我不在厕所 |
| [14:38] | “I can’t do it I need to see my mom | ”我做不到，我想见我妈妈 |
| [14:40] | “I’m going home.’ | “我回家去了” |
| [14:41] | What is the delay here? | 还在拖什么呢？ |
| [14:45] | Where is Ryan? | 莱恩在哪里？ |
| [14:47] | Why is he not here? | –他怎么没在这儿？ –我把他打发走了 |
| [14:51] | As brilliant and creative as he is | 尽管他集想象力与智慧于一身 |
| [14:54] | he is nothing compared to this guy Uh. | 他还是比不上这位大神！ |
| [14:59] | What? | –什么？ –是的 |
| [15:00] | That’s right. Will you just give us a second? | 可以给我们一点时间么？ |
| [15:01] | You are going to bloody ruin it. You’re going to bloody ruin it | 你肯定会搞砸的，你爷爷的你肯定会搞砸 |
| [15:03] | because you’re a no-good, half-assed, cockeyed numpty | 你就是个成事不足百事有余的半吊子斗鸡眼 |
| [15:06] | Okay. Okay | 好了，行了 |
| [15:08] | Jim I’m not doing the presentation | –杰姆 –不要做这个演讲 |
| [15:10] | Look at me. Look at me Look at this face | 看着我，看着我，看着我这张脸 |
| [15:13] | This is not the face of a performer | 这脸一看就上不得台面 |
| [15:15] | This is the face of a scary apparition you see before you die | 这脸，是你死前会看到的牛头马面 |
| [15:19] | I’m telling you, if you don’t do this, I don’t stand a chance | 我告诉你，如果你不做这个 我就什么机会都没了 |
| [15:26] | Please, Jim | 拜托了，杰姆 |
| [15:33] | Okay, I’ll do it | 好吧，我答应你 |
| [15:35] | Oh, my God. Okay | 老天爷啊，搞定！ |
| [15:39] | Go get into Ryan’s costume and check out his notes. | 去穿上莱恩的戏服，然后看看他的小抄 |
| [15:41] | A costume? | –戏服？ |
| [15:42] | Of course there’s a costume | –当然要穿戏服 |
| [15:46] | Oh, this is going to be great | 这下好得很 |
| [15:47] | There’s nothing like some last minute changes | 没什么能比在最后一分钟换人 |
| [15:48] | to really energize a presentation. Huh? | 更能给这场演讲打入一剂强心针了 |
| [16:03] | Did you pass out in there? What is taking so long? | 你死里面了吗？搞什么搞这么久？ |
| [16:06] | I’ve been in here for 20 seconds. | 我才进来20秒 |
| [16:08] | Hurry up! Let me in I want to watch you get dressed. | 速度点！让我进去！我要看你换衣服 |
| [16:11] | Did you find the eyeliner? | 你找到眼线笔没？ |
| [16:14] | I’m not wearing eyeliner | –我不要画眼线 |
| [16:15] | You are wearing eyeliner, Jim. | –你乖乖给我把眼线画上 |
| [16:26] | Time, space, gender | 时间，空间，性别 |
| [16:30] | There are no rules anymore. | 再也没有任何定则 |
| [16:33] | All boundaries are breaking down | 随着无限未来的来临 |
| [16:35] | in the wake of the infinite future | 所有界限都已分崩离析 |
| [16:39] | The only thing that The only thing that remains… | 唯一，唯一留下的… |
| [16:42] | The only thing that remains | 唯一保留下来的是不会随着 |
| [16:44] | are the things that have stood the test of time | 时间的考验而灰飞烟灭的 |
| [16:46] | Love, values and of course the Pyramids | 爱情，价值，当然还有金字塔 |
| [16:51] | The strongest shape ever constructed. | 史上最固若金汤的结构 |
| [16:55] | A shape that fits all other shapes inside of it. | 一个可以容下所有其他图形的形状 |
| [16:59] | No, that’s | –不，那个… |
| [17:00] | Mmm. It’s true | –这是事实 |
| [17:01] | This is the future because this is the past | 这就是未来，因为这是过去 |
| [17:08] | I’ve been through a lot of issues in my life | 我的一生经历过很多大风大浪 |
| [17:11] | I’ve seen drug addiction unemployment | 我曾经吸毒成瘾 曾经是无业游民 |
| [17:15] | I’ve been in a relationship that tore my heart apart | 我曾经拥有过一段让人痛彻心扉 |
| [17:18] | without ever being able to accept that love drove the pain | 却又让人无法承认这撕心痛楚的感情 |
| [17:23] | Yep | 说得好 |
| [17:24] | When I was 10 years old my parents took me to Disney world | 在我十岁的时候，父母带我去迪士尼乐园玩 我一路都在哭 |
| [17:32] | I was not able to comprehend the beauty that was before me | 甚至没来得及看尽路途中美丽风景 我只是想回家 |
| [17:40] | This is what the Pyramid will do for you. | 金字塔能让你得偿所愿 |
| [17:43] | It is the bridge to the world. | 它是连接世界的桥梁 |
| [17:47] | It has the USB port | 它有USB接口 |
| [17:49] | Wireless will be available in 2013 | 在2013年可启用无线功能 |
| [17:54] | You can play anything from Chuck to Cars 2. | 你什么都可以播放，从《超市特工》 到《汽车总动员2》 |
| [18:01] | With the Pyramid, you have the connection to everything | 有了金字塔，你能与世间万物相通 |
| [18:07] | In time and space | 在时间和空间里 |
| [18:14] | Psst | |
| [18:17] | Oh | |
| [18:22] | Sabre. It’s time to come home. | 萨布尔公司，是时候重归故里了 |
| [18:38] | All right. Thank you so much. Wow | 好的，谢谢你们 |
| [18:42] | Wow | 喔！ |
| [18:44] | And good night | 祝大家晚上愉快！ |
| [18:47] | Yeah | 耶！ （乞求宽恕） |
| [18:53] | Okay, this isn’t over Let’s stay focused, okay? | 还没结束，我们继续集中注意力，好吗？ |
| [18:55] | We made fun of Andy earlier for getting beat up by a little girl | 咱刚才都在嘲笑安迪被小女孩痛扁 |
| [18:59] | but little things can be dangerous | 但是小家伙也有很凶残的可能 |
| [19:01] | Whether it’s a gremlin or Chucky the doll, | 不管是对付恶魔小精灵还是鬼娃娃恰吉 |
| [19:04] | the key is to throw it in something | 要点是要把他丢到什么东西里去 |
| [19:07] | like a fireplace or a tub of electricity | 比如一个火坑或是导了电的浴缸 |
| [19:11] | Okay, good point. Um | 行，主意不错 |
| [19:13] | Good point? What is a tub of electricity? | 主意不错？导了电的浴缸是啥玩意儿？ |
| [19:17] | With all due respect | –我也不明白 –恕我直言 |
| [19:18] | we know what we’re defending against | 我们知道要面对的劲敌是谁 |
| [19:20] | It’s a 12-year-old female bully. | 是个12岁小太妹 我曾经就是12岁小太妹 |
| [19:24] | Great! I think Kelly should attack Toby | 太赞了！我觉得凯莉应该袭击托比 |
| [19:27] | Yeah | –对啊 |
| [19:28] | Yeah, that’s not a bad idea actually | –对啊，其实这主意还真不错 |
| [19:29] | because I have had a lot of pent-up aggression | 我的怒气值已经攒满了 |
| [19:32] | Thanks. – Good! Go | –谢谢 –好极了，上吧！ |
| [19:33] | I don’t know whether this is gonna help | –我不知道这究竟有没有用 |
| [19:35] | All right, Kelly | –上啊，凯莉 |
| [19:36] | We should stay to maybe some more traditional models. | 我们应该按照一些比较传统的方法来 |
| [19:39] | You think you’re so pretty? | 你以为自己长得倍儿美吗？ |
| [19:40] | You’re not going to be so pretty come prom-time | 等着瞧毕业舞会的时候你会是什么鬼样吧 |
| [19:42] | Okay, this is what’s called Take that! | –好了，这就是我们平时所说的 –吃我一拳！ |
| [19:44] | …pre-violent posture Take that | –战斗戒备姿势 –吃我一掌！ |
| [19:46] | Not so pre-violent anymore | –都开打了，还戒备什么 |
| [19:47] | I’m in what’s called the decision point. | –好了，我现在就处于决策点 |
| [19:50] | Hey, hey, hey Kelly! Kelly! | 嘿，够了，凯莉 |
| [19:52] | Ow | |
| [19:53] | My good eye | 我那只好的眼睛啊 |
| [19:56] | Oh, boy | 天啊 |
| [19:58] | Oh, no, I’m not laughing at you | 我没有笑你，我在笑塞西今天早些时候 |
| [19:59] | I’m laughing at something that Cece did | |
| [20:03] | on the playground earlier yesterday, this morning. | 在操场上做的什么事情，昨天，今天早上 |
| [20:07] | You know why I got hit by girls? | 你们知道我为什么会被女生打吗？ |
| [20:10] | Because I stood up for others. | 因为我挺身而出 |
| [20:13] | Pam and Toby | 为了潘和托比 |
| [20:16] | didn’t care that I was standing up to girls. | 我挺身而出，我不在乎这样奋不顾身的面对女生 |
| [20:20] | You may want to ask yourselves, where were you when the girls came? | 你们扪心自问，女疯子出现的时候你们在哪儿？ |
| [20:27] | Tough day, yes But I feel good | 操蛋的一天，没错，但我感觉良好 |
| [20:30] | I put the office in their place | 我让大家开始好好工作 |
| [20:32] | took a bunch of painkillers drank half a bottle of wine took my pants off. | 磕了一把止痛片 喝了半瓶酒，把裤子脱了 这感觉飘飘然啊 |
| [20:40] | Okay, okay, I will be the first to admit it. | 行了，我先行认错 |
| [20:43] | We could have integrated more Chuck into the presentation. | 我们应该多弄点《超市特工》的元素在演讲里 |
| [20:45] | Dwight, you’re the vice president | 德怀特，你是副主席了 |
| [20:50] | Yeah Okay! Come on! | 耶！爽翻！正点！ |
| [20:55] | Right on | 好极了！ |
| [20:56] | Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam | |
| [20:58] | Boom |