时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:01] | Guys with kids is taped in front of a live studio audience. | 奶爸当家是在现场录影棚观众观看下录制完成的 |
[00:05] | Violet, do you love this movie? | Violet 喜欢这电影吗 |
[00:07] | Huh? You love it? | 怎样 喜欢吗 |
[00:09] | To stay in this family, | 你想待在这个家 |
[00:10] | you have to love What About Bob? | 就必须喜欢 天才也疯狂 |
[00:12] | I love it. | 我喜欢 |
[00:15] | I cannot get this kid to stop reading. | 我就是不能让这孩子停下来不看书 |
[00:19] | Good, cookies are ready. | 太棒了 饼干好了 |
[00:22] | Watch out. | 当心 |
[00:23] | They’re not for you. | 不是给你做的 |
[00:24] | We’re surprising Marny for her birthday. | 是给Marny的生日惊喜 |
[00:25] | You’re making them in my apartment. | 你可是在我公寓做的 |
[00:27] | You can surprise her with the next batch. | 你可以再烤一盘来给她惊喜的嘛 |
[00:30] | – Hi, everyone. – Hi. | – 嗨 大家好 – 嗨 |
[00:32] | Here is our son. | 儿子带回来了 |
[00:34] | He’s clean, and I’d like him returned that way. | 很干净 我希望他被还回来的时候也是这样 |
[00:38] | You know I don’t borrow him, right? | 你知道 我这不是跟你借儿子 对吧 |
[00:43] | What is this? What is… what is this? | 搞什么 搞什么东东 |
[00:44] | – What? – There’s no sitting. | – 怎么了 – 这没位置了 |
[00:45] | You drop him off, and then you leave. | 你把你儿子放下 然后你就走 |
[00:47] | Do you not know how divorce works? | 难道你不知道离了婚的人都是这么办的吗 |
[00:49] | I’m not leaving. | 我是不会走的 |
[00:50] | I can sense Ernie’s about to say his first words, | 我感觉到Ernie准备要说第一句话了 |
[00:53] | and I’m not gonna miss it. | 而我是不会错过的 |
[00:54] | It’s gonna be “mama.” Say “mama.” | 他的第一句话肯定是 妈妈 叫 妈妈 |
[00:56] | Mama. Mama. | 妈妈 妈妈 |
[00:57] | – Say “mama.” – How did this happen? | – 叫 妈妈 – 这怎么可能 |
[00:59] | How am I stuck with your ex-wife for the rest of my life? | 我的余生里该怎么忍受你这前妻啊 |
[01:02] | Well, I’m not happy to be stuck with you either. | 呃 要忍受你 我也不是很开心咯 |
[01:05] | I feel like Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds, | 我感觉就像<非常教师>里的Michelle Pfeifferc |
[01:08] | only you don’t want to learn anything. | 只是你不想学任何东西 |
[01:11] | You know, Chris, I blame you for of this. | Chris你知道么 这都是你的错 |
[01:13] | Yeah, this would not be the case | 如果你没有娶这个美杜莎 |
[01:14] | if you hadn’t married Medusa sucks-a-lot. | 就不存在这些问题 |
[01:19] | No. No. No. | 不 不 不 |
[01:20] | If us all being stuck together is anybody’s fault, it’s yours. | 如果我们在一起是某个人的错的话 那就是你 |
[01:22] | – Mine? – Yeah. Yeah, your fault. | – 我的 – 对 对 你的错 |
[01:24] | It was the summer of 2004. | 在2004年的夏天 |
[01:26] | You and I were living together. I was dating Sage. | 你和我还是宿友 我在跟Sage约会 |
[01:28] | Rap-rock was taking the nation by storm. | 说唱摇滚正风靡大江南北 |
[01:31] | I was reporting live from that scene. | 我只是如实报道当时实况 |
[01:34] | Literally, every word that you just said made me mad. | 说实在的 你说的每一句话都让我抓狂 |
[01:38] | ♪ You’re so much fun | *你是多么有趣* |
[01:40] | ♪ we need each other | *我们需要彼此* |
[01:42] | ♪ like the sun | *就像太阳* |
[01:43] | ♪ Sage, when I’m not with you ♪ | *Sage 在我还没跟你一块儿的时候* |
[01:45] | ♪ I’m in a rage like a lion in a cage ♪ | *我像笼里的狮子 愤怒难当* |
[01:48] | ♪ I live my life up on the stage ♪ | *我活在舞台上的日子* |
[01:49] | ♪ for all the world to see, you and me… ♪ | *就是为了让这世界看到 你和我* |
[01:51] | – Chris, Chris, Chris. – What? | – Chris Chris Chris – 啊 |
[01:53] | Listen. This is really important. | 听着 这真的很重要 |
[01:55] | I need you to do me a favor. | 我要你帮我个忙 |
[01:56] | Take the “B” train up to Yonkers. | 坐B号火车到Yonkers |
[01:57] | Go to my Uncle’s house. Inside is a Civil War bayonet. | 到我舅舅家 里面有把内战时期的刺刀 |
[02:00] | I need you to grab it, bring it back here, | 我要你抢了它 拿回来这儿 |
[02:02] | and then stab me in the ears with it, | 然后用它插进我的耳朵里 |
[02:04] | so I never have to listen to that song again, okay? | 那么我就可以永远不用再听你唱那首歌了 成吗 |
[02:07] | Hey, you be nice. My boy wrote me a song. | 嘿 别这样子 我的宝贝为我写了首歌 |
[02:10] | I love that song. | 我很喜欢 |
[02:12] | You are so talented at so many things. | 你真是太有才了 |
[02:16] | Okay. | 够了 |
[02:17] | Okay, okay. Guys. | 够了够了 伙计们 |
[02:23] | Did you tell them? | 你告诉他们了吗 |
[02:24] | No, hey. Mwah. | 还没 |
[02:25] | I was waiting for you. | 我这是在等你呢 |
[02:29] | You got engaged? | 你订婚了 |
[02:32] | Oh, my God. | 噢 天呐 |
[02:32] | – You got engaged. – Yes! | – 你订婚了 – 嗯 |
[02:35] | Yep. I’m off the market. | 是的 我正式下架了 |
[02:37] | It’s a sad day for single ladies everywhere, | 对于各地的单身女孩真是悲哀的一天 |
[02:40] | but a happy one for less attractive men than myself. | 不过对于那些不如我的男人就相反了 |
[02:44] | – Were you surprised? – Oh, I was… | – 惊讶吗 – 噢 当然喇 |
[02:46] | Especially when halfway through the proposal, | 特别是他求婚求到一半的时候 |
[02:47] | the swan the ring was taped to started to run away. | 绑着戒指的那只天鹅就开始逃跑了 |
[02:53] | Engaged? | 订婚 |
[02:55] | I can’t… I can’t believe you. | 我实在 实在不能相信 |
[02:56] | This is not part of the plan, | 这不是计划的一部分啊 |
[02:58] | which, may I remind you, was all your plan. | 要我提醒你你的全盘计划么 |
[03:00] | You’re the one who convinced me to blow off law school | 是你让我放弃法学院 |
[03:02] | to become an actor. | 去做演员 |
[03:03] | You made me sign an agreement | 是你让我写协议 |
[03:05] | saying that we wouldn’t settle down | 写着 我们在30岁之前 |
[03:06] | till we were in our 30s. | 不能成家 |
[03:08] | Chris, we wrote that on a flour tortilla | Chris 那是我们大醉之后 |
[03:10] | when we were super drunk. | 写在面饼上的而已 |
[03:12] | You had me get that tortilla notarized. | 你想我把面饼拿出来确认的啊 |
[03:16] | Well, you know, plans change. | 额 计划有变 你懂的 |
[03:17] | And now I’m gonna have a wife. | 然后现在我就要结婚了 |
[03:19] | Okay? | 好吗 |
[03:20] | And if doctors are to be believed, a baby. | 而且如果医生可信的话 Emily有孩子了 |
[03:24] | Emily’s pregnant? | Emily 怀孕了 |
[03:25] | Yeah. And I don’t know what happened, man. | 是的 我都搞不懂状况 哥们 |
[03:27] | We were safe, like, 70%, 80% of the time. | 我们大概70% 80%的时间都是做足安全措施的 |
[03:31] | See, you got engaged,so I went to law school, | 看到没 你订婚了 所以我去念法学院 |
[03:33] | which is where I met Sheila, | 所以我在学校遇到了Sheila |
[03:34] | which is why she’s in your living room on a Sunday | 所以星期天这天她在你家的起居室里 |
[03:36] | until my son says his first word. | 要听我儿子说第一句话 |
[03:37] | Mama. Mama. Mama. | 妈妈 妈妈 妈妈 |
[03:40] | See, this right here… all your fault. | 看吧 这些 都是你的错 |
[03:44] | No, no. That cannot be true. | 不 不 不可能 |
[03:46] | I know. | 我懂了 |
[03:48] | Emily was pregnant before she got married. | Emily未婚先孕 |
[03:52] | Dad said that couldn’t happen. | 老爸说这是不可能发生的 |
[03:55] | Nice detail in front of the kids. | 在孩子面前讲这么详细 |
[03:56] | Thank you. | 真谢谢你们 |
[04:12] | Hey. Here are all my boys. | 嘿 男孩子们都在呢 |
[04:16] | – Yeah. Hmm. – So many boys. | – 对啊 嗯 – 真多男孩子 |
[04:20] | Mm. So what’s everybody doing here? | 嗯 那你们都在这做什么啊 |
[04:22] | We’re making you secret birthday cookies. | 我们在给你准备神秘生日饼干 |
[04:26] | Wait. We’re not. | 等一下 我们没有 |
[04:29] | Oh, it’s gonna be a great birthday… | 噢 这次生日肯定会很开心 |
[04:31] | cookies, the family portrait, | 饼干 还有全家福 |
[04:34] | you getting your tooth fixed before the family portrait. | 照全家福前把你的的牙补好 |
[04:38] | No, no, no. | 不 不 不 |
[04:39] | You’re making us wear | 你让我们穿白色圆领毛衣配 |
[04:41] | matching white turtlenecks and blue jeans. | 蓝色牛仔裤 |
[04:43] | My tooth will not be the weirdest thing in the photo. | 我的牙才不会是照片里的最大的亮点 |
[04:47] | Gary, why won’t you just do it? | Gary 你就不能补好牙么 |
[04:49] | Because I like my chipped tooth. | 因为我喜欢我的缺牙 |
[04:51] | The kids like it. | 孩子们也喜欢 |
[04:52] | Plus… | 并且 |
[04:54] | I can debone a chicken wing in three seconds flat. | 我能在刚好3秒内把鸡翅膀吃干净 |
[04:58] | Wait a minute. | 慢着 |
[04:59] | Wait a minute. It just came to me. | 慢着 我刚想起 |
[05:00] | I just realized why it is not my fault | 我才反应过来 我得跟Sheila待一块 |
[05:01] | that I am stuck with Sheila. | 不是我的错 |
[05:03] | You would have gone to law school | 你回不回法学院 |
[05:04] | whether I got engaged or not, | 和我结婚与否无关 |
[05:05] | because you were a terrible actor. | 因为你是个逊毙了的演员 |
[05:08] | Ha-ho! Yeah! Not my fault. | 啊吼 耶 不是我的错 |
[05:10] | I had nothing to do with you marrying Sheila. | 你和Sheila结婚与我无关 |
[05:13] | Actually, you did. | 实在上 有关系 |
[05:15] | It was the day Violet was born. | 在Violet出生的那天 |
[05:17] | I remember that day. I was there. | 我记得那天 当时我在 |
[05:20] | So was your tooth. | 当时你的牙齿也还在 |
[05:25] | I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready to be a father. | 我还没准备好 我还没准备好当爸爸 |
[05:28] | I don’t know what I’m doing. | 我不知道我在做什么 |
[05:29] | I just learned that they’re not allowed | 我只知道他们几年内 |
[05:30] | to eat tuna fish for, like, years. | 不能吃金枪鱼吧 大概 |
[05:33] | That’s all we eat! | 我们就吃那玩意 |
[05:35] | You’re going to be great. I know it. | 你会做的很好 我知道 |
[05:39] | Hi. | 嗨 |
[05:40] | I’m Emily. This is my husband, Nick. | 我是Emily 这是我老公 Nick |
[05:42] | Hi. I’m Marny. | 嗨 我是Marny |
[05:45] | And this is… | 这是 |
[05:47] | Gary Gary! | |
[05:49] | No. No, man, I’m not busy. | 不 不 老兄 我很忙 |
[05:51] | My wife just had a baby. | 我老婆刚生了个儿子 |
[05:53] | Yeah, no, no, I just got to straighten some things out here, | 耶 不 不 我要先把老婆这边的事情整顿好 |
[05:55] | and I’ll be there in half an hour. | 半小时后再谈 |
[05:57] | Gary Gary. | |
[05:58] | Okay, 45 minutes. | 好吧 45分钟后 |
[06:02] | You’re just gonna leave me here staring at a wall? | 你是打算把我一个人丢在这对着一堵墙吗 |
[06:05] | You know what? You’re right, babe. | 你猜怎么着 你是对的 宝宝 |
[06:06] | I’m gonna get you that window bed. | 我要给你安排靠窗的床 |
[06:07] | Hey. Kevin McHale. | 嘿 Kevin Mchale |
[06:09] | How much do you want for the window bed, huh? | 多少钱你才肯把你们的床位换给我 啊 |
[06:11] | I’ll give, uh, $500. | 我出 呃 500刀 |
[06:14] | I’m not selling my wife’s bed. | 我是不会卖我老婆的床位的 |
[06:15] | Gary, stop showing off. | Gary 别炫富了 |
[06:17] | – Get out of the way. – Okay, babe. | – 别挡着 – 好 宝贝 |
[06:19] | So what did you guys have? | 你生的儿子还是女儿 |
[06:21] | – A little girl. – Oh, a girl. | – 小女孩儿 – 噢 女孩儿 |
[06:24] | We were trying for a girl. | 我们可想要女孩儿了 |
[06:27] | But now we have two boys. | 结果现在生了两儿子 |
[06:30] | So many boys. | 这么多儿子 |
[06:34] | So what are you guys naming your daughter? | 准备给女儿取什么名啊 |
[06:35] | Holy crap, she still needs a name. | 我靠 还要取个名字 |
[06:38] | – Um… – Hey… | – 啊 – 嘿 |
[06:40] | Calm down, all right? | 淡定点 好吗 |
[06:41] | Having kids does not change your life. | 有了孩子也不会改变你的生活 |
[06:43] | We’ve both still have full-time jobs. | 我们夫妻两仍旧都有全职工作 |
[06:46] | We got a Russian nanny whose name is Oksana. | 我们请了个俄国保姆叫Oksana |
[06:48] | She cooks, she cleans, her “V”s sound like “W”s. | 她负责煮饭 清洁 她习惯把”V”发成”W”这个音 |
[06:52] | It amuses me. | 可笑死我了 |
[06:54] | Watch this. Hey, Oksana. | 看着 嘿 Oksana |
[06:57] | What’s the name of the car that Marny wants to get? | Marny想买的那部车叫什么来着 |
[07:00] | Volvo. | 沃尔沃 |
[07:03] | She usually does it. I don’t know what happened. | 她一般会说错 今天是怎么了 |
[07:07] | If you had a girl, what were you gonna name her? | 要是你们有个女儿 会取什么名 |
[07:10] | Violet Violet. | |
[07:10] | Oh, that’s such a pretty name. | 噢 这名字真棒 |
[07:13] | Oh, well, it’s yours if you want it. | 欧 你喜欢你也可以取这名啊 |
[07:16] | Ah, Chris. Oh, my God. You’re here. | 啊 Chris 欧 天呐 你们在这 |
[07:18] | Of course. | 当然 |
[07:19] | I’m not gonna miss the birth of my goddaughter. | 我是不会错过我的教女的出生的 |
[07:21] | Hi. | 嗨 |
[07:21] | Hey, you know, I can palm her head. | 嘿 你猜怎么 我一只手就可以捂住她的头 |
[07:24] | I’m not going to, but isn’t that messed up | 我是不会这么做的 不过这是我的第一冲动 |
[07:26] | that was my first instinct? | 不是很诡异的事情吗 |
[07:29] | Is Sage coming? | Sage来了吗 |
[07:30] | No. Uh, actually, we broke up. | 没来 嗯 其实 我们分了 |
[07:33] | – Oh, no. – Oh, my God. | – 噢 不会吧 – 噢 天呐 |
[07:34] | – Really? – Yeah. | – 真的吗 – 真的 |
[07:35] | The distance made it hard, you know. | 异地恋距离问题 你懂的 |
[07:37] | Oh, but there’s this girl at school that I really like. | 噢 但是学校有个女孩我真的很喜欢 |
[07:41] | She’s named Sheila. She’s tall and smart. | 她叫Sheila 又高挑又聪明 |
[07:43] | And she challenges me, you know. | 还有 她喜欢挑战我 |
[07:45] | But I feel like maybe she’s a little out of my league. | 但是我感觉她有点不像我的菜 |
[07:47] | Oh, my God. She’s super smoking hot. | 噢天呐 她可真是惹火的辣啊 |
[07:52] | Should I go for it? | 你觉得我该追她吗 |
[07:53] | Uh, yeah, definitely. | 噢 耶 必须追 |
[07:55] | I will not be your friend anymore | 如果你不追她 |
[07:56] | if you do not go after her, okay? | 我们就绝交 懂 |
[07:57] | This is your one shot at happiness. | 机不可失 失不再来 |
[08:00] | Gary Gary. | |
[08:02] | Baby, it’s just a quick appointment, all right? | 宝贝 只是个小会议 好吗 |
[08:04] | You’ll be fine… | 没关系的 |
[08:05] | as soon as they sell me that damn window bed. | 只要他们把靠窗床位卖给我 |
[08:08] | Not gonna happen. | 不可能 |
[08:10] | I’ll give you 1,000 bucks for it. | 我出1000刀 |
[08:11] | You, out. | 你 让位 |
[08:15] | You thought I was hot. | 原来你曾经觉得我辣 |
[08:20] | It was an old phone. The resolution was terrible. | 当时电话还很落后 分辨率不是很好 |
[08:23] | You think of me often, don’t you? | 你是不是随时在想我 |
[08:26] | Get away from me. All right? | 离我远点 好吧 |
[08:28] | See, you insisted that I go out with her. | 看到没 是你坚持让我和她约会的 |
[08:31] | Nick, do you… do you like my hair up? | Nick 你是 你是喜欢我把头发扎起来 |
[08:34] | – No. – Or do you prefer it down? | – 不 – 还是喜欢不扎 |
[08:35] | Okay. All right. | 好吧 好吧 |
[08:37] | Hey, hey, Ernie, Ernie, will you please say your first word | 嘿 嘿 Ernie Ernie 你能快说你的第一句话吗 |
[08:39] | so that she will leave, huh? | 她就可以走了 |
[08:40] | “Daddy.” | 爸爸 |
[08:41] | “Cave monster.” | “老妖怪” |
[08:48] | – Damn. Sage is not on Facebook. – That’s too bad. | – 我晕 Sage没上Facebook – 弱爆了 |
[08:51] | I’ve always wondered what happened to her. | 我一直想知道她近况如何 |
[08:53] | You know, a lot of people don’t change | 对了 大多数人们的邮箱 |
[08:54] | their email address. What was hers? | 都不会变的嘛 她的邮箱地址是什么 |
[08:56] | Sageloveschris@hotmail.com Sageloveschris@hotmail.com. | |
[08:58] | I’m just gonna try “Sage Williams | 我本是打算试着 Sage Williams |
[09:00] | at a bunch of different things dot-com.” | 啥的之类.com |
[09:02] | There we go. Now, that is a birthday present. | 搞定 看 这就是生日礼物 |
[09:06] | That is sweet. | 真甜蜜 |
[09:07] | But what else are you getting Marny? | 但是你还有什么想给Marny的 |
[09:09] | You think I should get my tooth fixed? | 你是不是也想让我把牙补好 |
[09:12] | Why don’t you want to? | 你怎么就不想补好呢 |
[09:14] | I was there when you got it chipped… | 你把牙弄缺的时候我也在 |
[09:15] | not your finest moment. | 绝不是你亮点时刻咯 |
[09:17] | No, it was not. | 的确不是 |
[09:18] | – But, God, you smelled great.- Yeah. | – 但是 你身上味儿挺不错 – 没错 |
[09:21] | I was a C.K. One man back then. | 我是个C.K男(男士香水) |
[09:25] | C.K. One all day, every day. | C.K 一次管一天 天天喷 |
[09:35] | Marny, thanks for having us over for dinner. | Marny 谢谢你邀请我们到这吃饭 |
[09:37] | We really should be having you over, | 其实我们也特想请你到我们家的 |
[09:39] | since you found us an apartment in your building, | 因为你帮我们在你住的这栋楼里找了间公寓 |
[09:41] | but we don’t have any furniture. | 但是我们没点像样的家具 |
[09:43] | We’re house-poor. | 我们的房子很差 |
[09:45] | No, we are poor-poor. | 不 是 特别特别穷 |
[09:46] | We are stealing-toilet-paper from-work poor. | 我们是 在工作地方偷厕纸用 那么穷 |
[09:50] | Yeah. | 对 |
[09:52] | The boys are asleep. | 孩子们都睡了 |
[09:53] | Do not disturb them. | 别打扰他们 |
[09:55] | You’re doing that wrong. | 你这样做不对 |
[09:58] | Oksana was Chief of Police in her village. | Oksana以前在她们村警察局长 |
[10:02] | Oh, that must be your friend. | 噢 一定是你们朋友来了 |
[10:03] | Oh. | 噢 |
[10:05] | We finally get to meet Chris’ new girlfriend. | 我们终于可以看到Chris的新女友了 |
[10:07] | We are just gonna love her. I can feel it. | 我们肯定会喜欢她 我感觉得到 |
[10:08] | Me too. Yeah! | 我也是 耶 |
[10:11] | – Yay, Sheila!- Hey. | – 耶 Sheila – 嗨 |
[10:15] | – And Chris.- Come here. | – Chris – 过来 |
[10:18] | Oh, hi. So friendly. | 噢 嗨 很友好呢 |
[10:21] | Hi. I’m Marny. | 嗨 我是Marny |
[10:22] | Hi. Thank you for having us. | 嗨 谢谢你邀请我们来 |
[10:24] | Oh. She brings booze. | 噢 她带了酒来呢 |
[10:26] | Ooh, I think we are going to have a lot in common. | 噢 我认为我们应该会有很多共同点 |
[10:29] | It’s from my father’s vineyard in France. | 这是来自我爸在法国的葡萄园的 |
[10:31] | You’re gonna want to pair it with a north pacific fish. | 你会想用北太平洋的鱼类来配着它吃的 |
[10:33] | Maybe not as much in common as I thought. | 可能也没我想的那么多呢 |
[10:37] | Um, do you have a decanter? | 呃 你们有盛酒瓶吗 |
[10:39] | I don’t have a couch. | 我连沙发都没 |
[10:42] | Look, I don’t care if the congregation is down 80%. | 听着 我不在乎人数是不是低于80% |
[10:46] | It’s a two-year lease. | 这就是一张两年期的租约 |
[10:47] | Well, then they better start praying. | 好吧 那他们最好开始祈祷吧 |
[10:50] | Gary, we have guests. | Gary 我们有客人呢 |
[10:53] | Hey. Gary. Nice to meet you. | 嘿 Gary 很高兴认识你 |
[10:55] | We’ve actually met before. | 其实我们以前见过的了 |
[10:57] | Nah, I don’t think so. | 不 我不这么认为 |
[11:00] | – How are you? – Hi. | -你好吗 -嗨 |
[11:01] | – Nice to meet you. – Good. | -很高兴认识你 -好 |
[11:03] | Uh, why is my football out of its case? | 呃 为什么我的橄榄球不在它本来的柜子里 |
[11:05] | I don’t know. I’m new here. | 我不知道 我新来的 |
[11:07] | The boys were play with it. | 男孩子们之前在玩它 |
[11:09] | Yeah, all right, this is signed by the ’69 Jets. | 嗯 好了 这可是被69年的喷气机队签过名的 |
[11:12] | This cost me $5,000. | 这可花了我5000刀 |
[11:13] | Well, that’s just stupid. | 哦 可蠢了 |
[11:17] | Where are you going? | 你这是要去哪 |
[11:19] | I’m going to say good night to my boys. | 我现在去跟我的男孩子们道晚安 |
[11:21] | – They’re already sleeping. – So? | -他们已经睡着了 -那又怎样 |
[11:24] | So, if you want to see them, | 所以 如果你想见他们 |
[11:26] | why don’t you come home early for once? | 为什么你不早回家哪怕一次 |
[11:30] | You know, we really should look | 你看看 我们真的应该试着 |
[11:31] | into getting one of these nannies, huh? | 找一个这样的保姆 对吧 |
[11:33] | Really warms up a home. | 屋子就真热闹了 |
[11:34] | Excuse me? | 不好意思 |
[11:35] | I do see my boys. | 我就是要去看我的孩子们 |
[11:37] | Gary Gary. | |
[11:38] | Could we not get into this again? | 我们可以不再为这事争吵吗 |
[11:41] | Yes, you see them… | 是啊 你去看他们 |
[11:43] | then you’re on your phone. | 然后你就只顾着谈电话了 |
[11:44] | And then you shush them. | 然后你还嘘他们 |
[11:47] | You make me want to “womit.” | 你简直让我想 凸 |
[11:51] | There’s the “v” thing. | 这就是她的口音啊 |
[11:52] | – It is very amusing. – Yeah. | – 的确很有趣啊 – 是啊 |
[11:55] | Take that, and why don’t you get your stuff and get out? | 拿着 为什么你还不收拾你的东西然后滚 |
[11:58] | No, no, no, no. | 不 不 不 不 |
[11:59] | No, no, Oksana. | 别 别 Oksama |
[12:02] | – Oksana, Gary doesn’t mean that. – No, no. Yes, I do. | – Oksama Gary他不是这意思 – 噢 我就是这意思 |
[12:04] | – No, no, no, you don’t. – Yes. | – 不 不 不 你不是 – 我就是 |
[12:05] | I cannot stay home from work tomorrow. | 我明天可不能不干活呆家里啊 |
[12:07] | I have a huge presentation. Who’s gonna watch the kids? | 我要进行一次大型演讲 那谁来看着孩子们 |
[12:10] | I’ll do it. | 我来看 |
[12:12] | You’re gonna watch the kids? | 你来看着孩子们 |
[12:13] | Hell, I made the babies. I can watch the babies. | 废话 我造得出这些孩子 我自然能看得住这些孩子咯 |
[12:15] | All right? | 好吧 |
[12:17] | I’ll watch ’em until we find somebody new. | 我会在我们物色到另外一个保姆之前一直照看着孩子们 |
[12:20] | So, just to be clear, you’re firing me? | 那么 只是想清楚一点 你这是要解雇我吗 |
[12:23] | Yes. You are fired. | 对 你被解雇了 |
[12:30] | Oh! | 噢 |
[12:32] | Oh, that crazy broad chipped my tooth! | 噢 那外国疯婆娘打缺了我的牙 |
[12:34] | Look at that! | 看呐 |
[12:37] | Promise me we are never coming here again. | 向我保证咱以后也不来这儿了 |
[12:42] | Oh, I’m so thirsty. | 噢 我好口渴啊 |
[12:44] | I had to run up to my apartment. | 我得跑回我的公寓里 |
[12:45] | – We have water. – Oh, no, thank you. | – 我们这有水啊 – 噢 不了 谢谢 |
[12:49] | Ernie didn’t say anything while I was gone, did he? | Ernie在我走了之后没说过任何话 对吧 |
[12:51] | Actually, he did. | 实际上 他有 |
[12:53] | As soon as you left, he said, | 你一走 他就说 |
[12:54] | “Thank God.” | 感谢上帝 |
[12:56] | See, now, Nick, I can’t tell | Nick 看 现在我可不知道 |
[12:58] | if you’re flirting with me or not? | 你是不是在跟我调情哦 |
[13:01] | You know, this is not my fault. | 你看 这可不是我的错 |
[13:02] | I am positive that I told you | 当你们开始约会的时候 |
[13:03] | as soon as you guys started dating | 我就已经很明确的表示 |
[13:05] | that she was not the right girl for you, | 她对你来说不是合适的女孩 |
[13:07] | and you didn’t listen to me, so that’s it, okay? | 然后你没听我的 所以到此为止 好吗 |
[13:08] | Conversation over. | 谈话结束 |
[13:11] | You know, it wasn’t exactly as soon as we started dating. | 你看 你并不是在我们刚开始约会就这么说的 |
[13:16] | And I vow to work on my listening every day | 我发誓我每天都听广播 |
[13:20] | and, uh, to take a shower before bed | 而且 呃 睡觉之前洗个澡 |
[13:22] | and to stop wearing baseball caps because… | 而且不再戴棒球帽了因为 |
[13:27] | Because you’re not six. | 因为你不是六岁了 |
[13:29] | Because I’m not six. | 因为我不是六岁了 |
[13:34] | And, Sheila? | 那么 Sheila |
[13:35] | No, I’m good. | 没 我不用 |
[13:38] | Do you have the rings? | 带戒指来了吗 |
[13:40] | Ah! Ah! No. | 啊 啊 哎呀 |
[13:43] | Ah, I think I forgot them in the dressing room. | 啊 我把戒指忘在更衣间了 |
[13:45] | Chris, will you help me find them, please? | Chris 不如你帮我找一下好吗 |
[13:49] | I’m just gonna get this guy a tongue scraper, | 我只是想拿个刮舌器给这家伙 |
[13:51] | ’cause I want him to really go for it at the end there. | 我得让他真刮到舌根那儿了 |
[13:56] | Where do you think you might have left it? Like… | 你觉得你可能忘在哪儿了 大概是 |
[13:59] | You cannot marry her, man. | 哥们 你不能娶她 |
[14:00] | She is not the right girl for you, okay? | 她对你来说真不是合适的女孩 好吧 |
[14:02] | Let’s cash in your honeymoon tickets. | 快点把你的蜜月机票兑现了 |
[14:03] | We’ll go to New Orleans. | 我们就去新奥尔良 |
[14:05] | We’ll tear it up for a little bit, | 我们来疯玩一下 |
[14:06] | forget this whole thing ever happened. Huh? | 忘掉已经发生过的一切 好吗 |
[14:09] | I’ll even let you go on the Anne Rice tour this time. | 我这次甚至会让你继续你那追寻安妮·赖斯的旅程 |
[14:11] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么 |
[14:13] | You cannot go through with this, okay? | 你看不透这事对吧 |
[14:15] | – She is changing you. – No, she’s not. | – 她正在改变你 – 不 她没有 |
[14:17] | Look at you! She’s got you wearing a kilt. | 看看你 她都让你穿着苏格兰短裙了 |
[14:19] | She’s not even Scottish. | 她自个儿甚至都不是个苏格兰人 |
[14:21] | It’s from our favorite movie,Four Weddings and a Funeral. | 这是来自我们最喜欢的电影 <四个婚礼和一个葬礼> |
[14:24] | That is not your favorite movie! | 这不是你最喜欢的电影 |
[14:27] | Your favorite movie is What About Bob? | 你最喜欢的电影是 天才也疯狂 |
[14:31] | What are you doing, man? | 兄弟 你在干嘛啊 |
[14:32] | You’re supposed to be my best friend. | 你本应是我最好的朋友啊 |
[14:33] | I am your best friend, okay? | 我就是你最好的朋友好吧 |
[14:35] | This is a battle for your soul. | 这是一场为了你的灵魂的战役 |
[14:37] | This is good versus evil, and I am not gonna let her win. | 这是 善良对阵邪恶 而我是不会让她赢的 |
[14:40] | Nick, I’m getting married. | Nick 我准备结婚了 |
[14:42] | To the wrong person, okay? | 跟一个错的人 好吧 |
[14:44] | And I tracked down Sage. I got her number. | 另外 我追查到Sage了 我有她的电话 |
[14:48] | – You should call her. – Wow. Okay. | – 你该打给她 -哇 好吧 |
[14:50] | You know what? Listen. | 你知道吗 听着 |
[14:51] | I’m not calling her. Give me the rings. | 我是不会打给她的 把戒指给我 |
[14:53] | No. | 不 |
[14:54] | – Give me… give me… – No. | – 给我 给我啊 -不 |
[14:56] | – Give me them. Give me… – You’re not gonna get ’em. | – 把戒指给我 给我 – 你是拿不到的 |
[14:57] | I’m not gonna give them to you. | 我是不会把他们交给你的 |
[14:59] | Don’t… okay. You know what? | 别 好了 知道么 |
[15:02] | No! No! Oh, God! | 不 不 噢 天呐 |
[15:05] | No! | 不 |
[15:07] | God, I am both revolted by and grateful for | 天呐 我是既厌恶又感激 |
[15:10] | how much hair I’m looking at right now. | 我现在看着的毛发有多浓密 |
[15:17] | Did you get the rings? | 你拿到戒指么 |
[15:19] | Yeah, right here. Let’s get ‘er done. | 诶 就在这儿 这就结了这事 |
[15:21] | Oh, right. Right, right. | 哦 对了 对了 对了 |
[15:24] | I just vowed I would never say that again. | 我刚才发誓我不再说这句话 |
[15:29] | Oh, and just so you know, | 噢 只是想让你知道 |
[15:32] | I overheard all of that. | 你们的对话我都听到了 |
[15:34] | – Sheila, I was… – No. | – Sheila 我只是 -不 |
[15:35] | You know what? It’s good. | 你知道吗 这也好 |
[15:37] | I’m glad that we can now openly hate one another. | 我很高兴我们现在能公开恨对方了 |
[15:40] | Really? Oh, um, okay. | 是吗 噢 嗯 好吧 |
[15:44] | Then how many highlanders have you killed this century? | 那么究竟你在本世纪里杀了多少苏格兰高地人 |
[15:49] | Yeah, well, get your shots in while you can. | 好吧 趁你还能说的时候随便说吧 |
[15:51] | Not only are Chris and I getting married, | 我跟Chris不仅结婚了 |
[15:53] | but I’ve also arranged for both of us to have jobs | 而且我已经为我俩在三藩市的工作 |
[15:55] | in San Francisco. | 铺好路了 |
[15:57] | You will be out of our lives. | 你将会从我们的生活中消失 |
[16:00] | I win. | 我赢了 |
[16:05] | What happened? | 发生什么了 |
[16:06] | I lost. | 我输了 |
[16:08] | Yeah, I just lost my best friend. | 对 我刚刚失去了我最好的朋友 |
[16:10] | And my parting image of him is of his junk. | 而且他给我的离别印象 就是他裤裆里那玩意 |
[16:18] | You don’t know the sex of your twins yet. | 你还不知道你的双胞胎的性别呢 |
[16:19] | Are you sure you want to give me all your boy stuff? | 你确定你要把你们全部的男孩衣服给我们吗 |
[16:21] | Absolutely. | 妥妥儿的 |
[16:22] | I know in my heart these twins are not boys. | 我心里清楚的紧 这双胞胎不是男孩儿了 |
[16:28] | God wouldn’t do that to me. | 老天爷可不会这么对我 |
[16:33] | – Hey. – Hey. | – 嘿 – 嘿 |
[16:36] | Oh, my God. Chris. | 噢 天呐 Chris |
[16:40] | – It’s been forever. – Hey, Em. | – 就像永远那么久了 – 嘿 Emily |
[16:43] | It’s been three years… not that I’ve noticed. | 都三年咯 并不是说我特意记住 |
[16:46] | – Who is this? – This is Ernie. | – 看这是谁 – 这是Ernie |
[16:48] | – You have a baby. – Yeah. | – 你有孩子喇 – 是啊 |
[16:51] | And he’s your godson. | 而且他是你的教子 |
[16:53] | Sheila let us be his godparents? | Sheila肯让我们做他的教父母吗 |
[16:56] | – We’re getting divorced. – Whoa. You okay? | – 我们正在离婚 – 哇 你没事吧 |
[16:59] | Yeah, I’m okay. | 我没事呢 |
[17:00] | Well, then come on in. | 好吧 那么请进 |
[17:02] | Oh, my goodness. | 噢 我的天呐 |
[17:04] | Oh. Oh. | 噢 噢 |
[17:06] | She wasn’t the one for me, man. You were right. | 她的确不是适合我的人 哥们你对了 |
[17:08] | What was that? | 啥 |
[17:10] | You were right. | 你是对的 |
[17:11] | I’m sorry. One more time. | 抱歉 再一次 |
[17:13] | You were right. | 你是对的 |
[17:15] | Okay, in a Spanish accent. | 好嘞 西班牙口音的来一次 |
[17:19] | You were right. | 你是对的 |
[17:21] | Hello, Ernie. | 你好吗Ernie |
[17:23] | I am Nick. | 我是Nick |
[17:24] | I have so many photos to show you | 我有好多你爸喝得烂醉 |
[17:25] | of your dad passed out with obscenities | 额头写着淫秽词语的照片 |
[17:27] | written on his forehead. | 要给你看呢 |
[17:30] | Hey, how you doing, man? I’m Gary. | 嘿 你好吗 伙计 我是Gary |
[17:32] | Nice to meet you. Heard a lot about you. | 很高兴认识你 早有耳闻了 |
[17:35] | Yeah, we’ve actually met,like, three times now. | 嗯 我们其实已经见过 应该有三次了 算上这次 |
[17:38] | No. I don’t think that’s right. | 不 我觉得你是错的 |
[17:42] | Where are you staying? | 你在哪住呢 |
[17:44] | I’m living in a hotel while I look for a place. | 我现在住在酒店里 正在找个地方定居 |
[17:45] | You know, a place actually just opened up | 其实 这栋楼里其实还有空房子 |
[17:47] | – in this building. – Aha! | – 正在开售 – 啊哈 |
[17:49] | And then you told me that there was an opening | 然后你当时告诉我有间空的屋子 |
[17:51] | in this building and that I should move in here, | 在这楼里 而我应该搬进来 |
[17:53] | and then Sheila followed me here. | 然后Sheila就跟着我到这了 |
[17:54] | So, once again, it’s your fault | 那么 再一次的 是你的错 |
[17:56] | that we’re all stuck together. | 让我们困在一块 |
[17:57] | No, no, no, no, no. This cannot be my fault, okay? | 不 不 不 不 不 这绝不可能是我的错 好吧 |
[18:01] | I… I just have to think about this for a second. | 我 我得好好想一下 |
[18:06] | Okay, it’s not my fault. It’s not Chris’ fault. | 好了 这不是我的错 这也不是Chris的错 |
[18:09] | Okay? It’s his fault! | 好吗 都是他的错 |
[18:11] | Yes! Yeah! | 对了 对喇 |
[18:14] | Yeah, you two would’ve never seen each other again | 对了 如果不是你们在一块有了个孩子 |
[18:16] | if you hadn’t had a child together. | 你们就永远不会再见对方 |
[18:18] | Oh, we’re allowed to blame children? | 噢 原来我们可以把责任怪罪在孩子身上的啊 |
[18:20] | Oh, okay. | 噢 好吧 |
[18:21] | In that case, I never would have gone to law school, | 如果是那样的话 我不会去念法学院 |
[18:23] | hence, meeting meeting Sheila,hence, copulating with Sheila, | 而因此碰见Sheila 而因此跟Sheila发生关系 |
[18:26] | if Emily hadn’t gotten knocked up with Violet. | 如果Emily不是意外怀上了Violet |
[18:28] | It’s Violet’s fault. | 所以这是Violet的错 |
[18:30] | Yay. | 好嘞 |
[18:32] | Oh, oh, I know. | 噢 噢 我懂了 |
[18:33] | We should blame Emily | 我们该怪罪Emily |
[18:35] | for going to Colgate and being so easy. | 因为她去Colgate大学还这么随便 |
[18:42] | All right, I’ll take the blame. | 好吧 我承担责任 |
[18:47] | But I’m gonna fix it. | 不过我会尝试补偿的 |
[18:48] | It’s an email from Sage Williams. | 这是一封来自Sage Williams的邮件 |
[18:51] | Oh! | 噢 |
[18:52] | What does it say? Open it. | 写什么 打开它 |
[18:54] | Okay, well, this Sage Williams is a man. | 好吧 这Sage Williams是个男人 |
[18:56] | Hmm. | 嗯 |
[18:58] | He is interesting in meeting, and… | 他对见面感兴趣 而且 |
[19:02] | would you like to see a picture of him naked? | 你想看一下他的裸体照片吗 |
[19:06] | No, thank you. | 不了 谢谢 |
[19:07] | Well, what’s the harm? | 噢 又不会怎样 |
[19:11] | That’s the harm. | 还真会 |
[19:15] | You know, I didn’t think I would be, but… | 你知道 我没想过我会 不过 |
[19:17] | I’m actually disappointed. | 其实我好失望 |
[19:18] | Oh, you two are such dummies. | 噢 你们两个可真是蠢货 |
[19:22] | What? | 啥 |
[19:23] | When you were trying to give | 当你尝试 |
[19:25] | my ex-husband his ex-girlfriend’s phone number | 把我前夫的前女友的电话给他的时候 |
[19:28] | so that he would leave me at the altar… | 也正是这样把我留在了圣坛上 |
[19:31] | what were you wearing? | 你当时穿的是什么 |
[19:35] | Chris’ junk on my forehead. | 我额头上放着Chris的老二 |
[19:39] | My tuxedo! | 我的燕尾礼服 |
[19:41] | Yes! | 没错 |
[19:43] | Never had it cleaned! | 我从来没洗过它 |
[19:44] | Yeah, factored that in. | 啊 那也算上吧 |
[19:47] | Oh. | 噢 |
[19:50] | Go. Call her. | 去 打给她 |
[19:54] | You know, Sheila, what you just did… | Sheila 真的很感激 |
[19:56] | that was very nice of you. | 你刚才所做的 |
[19:59] | Oh, Nick. | 噢 Nick |
[20:01] | Please get over me for the both of us. | 麻烦为了我们 放下我吧 |
[20:07] | Hey, it’s ringing. | 嘿 响了 |
[20:10] | Sage? | Sage吗 |
[20:11] | Sage Sage. | |
[20:15] | He just said “Sage”! First word! | 他刚才说Sage了 他的第一句话 |
[20:18] | No! | 不 |
[20:22] | Oh. | 噢 |
[20:24] | You can come over here anytime you like, Sheila. | Sheila 只要你喜欢 随时都可以来 |
[20:25] | That was great. | 棒极了 |
[20:32] | Surprise! | 惊喜吗 |
[20:35] | – Happy Birthday! – Oh, thank you. | – 生日快乐 – 噢 谢谢你们 |
[20:37] | – We made you cookies. – Can we eat them? | – 我们给你做了饼干 – 我们可以吃吗 |
[20:40] | Sure. | 当然 |
[20:43] | And… | 而且 |
[20:47] | Gary! What? | Gary 为什么 |
[20:49] | – You didn’t get it fixed. – Nope. | – 你没去补牙 – 没啊 |
[20:51] | What about the new family photo? | 那我们新的家庭照怎么办 |
[20:53] | Well, I’m just gonna have to smile like this. | 好咯 那我只得这么笑咯 |
[20:55] | Oh. | 噢 |
[21:00] | You are ridiculous. | 你可真荒谬 |
[21:03] | But seriously, Gary, why won’t you get this fixed? | 不过说真的 Gary 为啥你不去补啊 |
[21:06] | Because my tooth reminds me of what a jerk I used to be. | 因为这牙齿能提醒我 我以前有多混蛋 |
[21:11] | And if you think back,we’re the family we are today | 而且要是你回想起来 之所以我们今天能变成这样的家庭 |
[21:14] | because of what happened that day. | 正是因为当日发生的一切 |
[21:18] | I like us better today too. | 我也更喜欢现在的我们 |
[21:21] | Truth is, Oksana punching you in your grill | 事实上 Oksama在你的烧烤架旁边打了你一拳 |
[21:24] | was the best thing that ever happened to you. | 是在你身上发生过的最好的事情呢 |