| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:09] | You guys wanna hear a joke? | 你们想听个笑话吗 |
| [00:10] | No! | 不想 |
| [00:14] | Why not? | 为啥啊 |
| [00:15] | Because they’re never good. | 因为从来都不好笑 |
| [00:16] | Dad, your mouth is where jokes go to die. | 老爸 你的嘴就是笑话的葬身之地 |
| [00:20] | I can be funny. | 我会很搞笑的好吗 |
| [00:22] | It’s funny watching you try to tell a joke. | 看你想说笑话的样子很搞笑 |
| [00:26] | See, now that’s funny. | 看 现在搞笑了 |
| [00:29] | Honey, why don’t you just wait and tell your joke at lunch? | 亲爱的 等到午饭的时候再说你的笑话吧 |
| [00:32] | But I have lunch at work. | 但是吃午饭的时候我上班啊 |
| [00:36] | You know what? you guys are gonna like this one. | 知道吗 你们一定会喜欢听这个笑话的 |
| [00:38] | So, guy walks into a store with a frog on a leash– | 有个人走进一家商店 他牵着一只青蛙 |
| [00:42] | No no no! | 不 不 不 |
| [00:43] | Sorry. Frog’s on his head. | 抱歉 青蛙在他脑袋上 |
| [00:47] | So anyway, the frog says… | 反正 青蛙说 |
| [00:51] | Ah, you shouldn’t know the frog talks yet. | 你们还不应该知道青蛙说话了 |
| [00:53] | So, let’s just forget i said that, okay? | 就当我没说过 好吗 |
| [00:55] | The store owner says… | 店主人说 |
| [00:57] | And it doesn’t have to be the store owner, | 也不一定非得是店主说的 |
| [00:58] | Could just be a guy who works there. | 可能就是在那里工作的一个小伙子 |
| [01:00] | – Okay okay. – Or a girl, whatever. | -好吧好吧 -或者是个女孩 管他呢 |
| [01:02] | You know what, guys? in the interest of time, | 听我说 孩子们 为了珍惜时间 |
| [01:03] | Let’s just laugh now and get it over with. | 我们狂笑一场 走个过场吧 |
| [01:05] | Okay. go. | 好 来吧 |
| [01:09] | – good one, dad. – no no, wait. | -不错的笑话 老爸 -不 不 等等 |
| [01:10] | Wait a minute. i’m not done yet. | 等一下 我还没说完呢 |
| [01:11] | – no, but we are. – yeah. | -但我们听完了 -是啊 |
| [01:20] | Well, you wanna hear the joke, right, charlie? | 你想听那个笑话的 对吧 查莉 |
| [01:23] | Sure, daddy. | 当然啦 爸爸 |
| [01:24] | Okay, so… | 好的 那么 |
| [01:27] | Guy walks into a store with a frog– | 一个人带着一只青蛙走进了一家商店 |
| [01:30] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [01:32] | It’s not a frog. it’s a parrot. | 不是一只青蛙 是一只鹦鹉 |
| [01:37] | Parrots are funny. | 鹦鹉挺有意思的 |
| [01:38] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [01:39] | Yeah. okay. but there’s more to the joke. | 好吧 还有更有意思的呢 |
| [01:42] | It doesn’t end on “parrot.” | 笑话不是讲到“鹦鹉”就完了 |
| [01:43] | You said it again. | 你又说了一遍啊 |
| [01:48] | Today’s all burnt toast | 生活搞得一团糟 |
| [01:50] | Running late, and dad jokes | 就要迟到 爸爸在叫 |
| [01:52] | Has anybody seen my left shoe | 我左脚的鞋子有没有人看到 |
| [01:54] | I close my eyes, take a bite | 我闭上眼 咬口早餐 |
| [01:56] | Grab a ride, laugh out loud | 跳上车子 放声大笑 |
| [01:58] | There it is up on the roof | 哎呀 老爸 鞋子就在房顶上 |
| [02:01] | I’ve been there, I’ve survived | 我也曾这样生活 我已经顺利走过 |
| [02:04] | So just take my advice | 所以听取我的建议 |
| [02:08] | Hang in there, baby | 宝贝 不要放弃 |
| [02:10] | Things are crazy | 世界有很多疯狂无奈 |
| [02:11] | But I know your future’s bright | 可是我知道你会有美好将来 |
| [02:14] | Hang in there, baby | 宝贝 不要放弃 |
| [02:16] | There’s no maybe | 不要怀疑 |
| [02:18] | Everything turns out all right | 一切终会如你所愿 |
| [02:21] | Sure life is up and down | 生活有悲有喜 |
| [02:23] | But trust me it comes back around | 但是请相信我 坚持就有好结果 |
| [02:27] | You’re gonna love who you turn out to be | 你会喜欢将来的你 |
| [02:32] | Hang in there, baby. | 宝贝 不要放弃 |
| [02:43] | It’s here, it’s here! | 来了 来了 |
| [02:44] | What is? | 这是啥啊 |
| [02:45] | The email from Yale. | 耶鲁大学发来的邮件 |
| [02:47] | I’m about to find out if I got in. | 我就要知道有没有被录取了 |
| [02:48] | Open it! what are you waiting for? | 快打开啊 还在等什么呢 |
| [02:50] | I can’t. I’m too nervous. | 不行啊 我好紧张 |
| [02:52] | Yale is my dream school. | 耶鲁大学我的理想学校 |
| [02:54] | The next ten seconds are gonna decide | 下一个十秒即将决定 |
| [02:55] | The course of my entire life. | 我的整个人生 |
| [02:57] | Okay. easy now, honey. | 别紧张 亲爱的 |
| [02:59] | Nobody likes a drama queen. | 谁也不喜欢太戏剧化的姑娘 |
| [03:05] | What are you looking at me for? | 你们看着我干嘛 |
| [03:10] | Okay. Dad, here, you read it. | 老爸 你来读这封邮件 |
| [03:13] | I’ll be able to tell by your expression. | 我会通过你的表情看出来的 |
| [03:21] | I didn’t get in? | 我没被录取吗 |
| [03:22] | No, I sent it to trash. | 不 我把它发到垃圾箱了 |
| [03:27] | Hey, how do I get this back? “empty trash.” | 该怎么撤销啊 “清空垃圾箱” |
| [03:29] | No! | 不要 |
| [03:30] | Gosh. I’ll do it. | 天呐 我来吧 |
| [03:35] | Here goes. | 来了 |
| [03:41] | I’m on the wait list. | 我在候选名单里 |
| [03:44] | Well, that’s good. | 不错啊 |
| [03:46] | You still have a chance to get in. | 你还是有机会被录取的 |
| [03:48] | You just have to wait for a spot to open up. | 只要等到空位出现就行了嘛 |
| [03:50] | Well, yeah, but what are the odds of that? | 但是这种可能性有多大呢 |
| [03:52] | Honey, look, it’s out of your hands. | 亲爱的 这是你无能为力的 |
| [03:54] | Okay, so until you hear otherwise, | 所以在你得到确切消息之前 |
| [03:56] | You just have to do what I do. | 只要学着我的处理方式就好了 |
| [03:58] | Just relax and go with the flow. | 放松下来 顺其自然 |
| [04:05] | You’re looking at me again. | 你们干嘛又看着我 |
| [04:21] | What is that? | 这是啥 |
| [04:22] | It’s a scooter. | 滑板车 |
| [04:23] | Which i bought with my graduation money from grandpa. | 我用爷爷给的毕业红包买的 |
| [04:25] | – You didn’t graduate. – Grandpa doesn’t know that. | -你还没毕业呢 -爷爷又不知道 |
| [04:29] | Gabe, we talked about this. | 盖比 我们得谈谈 |
| [04:31] | I specifically said you could not get one of these things. | 我已经明确说过不许你买这类东西 |
| [04:33] | You said I couldn’t have a dirt bike. | 你只说过不许我买山地车 |
| [04:35] | This is an electric scooter. | 这可是一辆电动滑板车 |
| [04:36] | It’s what kids with dirt bikes make fun of. | 这是被有山地车的孩子拿来取笑的东西 |
| [04:40] | Well, whatever it is, it doesn’t look very safe. | 不管怎么样 这车看起来很不安全啊 |
| [04:43] | Listen, before you decide anything, | 听着 在你下结论之前 |
| [04:45] | How about you just take it for a spin? | 为啥不骑出去兜一圈 |
| [04:47] | Then you can see how tame it is. | 然后你就可以知道它有多听话了 |
| [04:52] | Fun, huh? so can I keep it? | 好玩吧 我可以保留它了吧 |
| [04:54] | Don’t know. Not done testing it yet. | 不知道 还没测试完呢 |
| [05:06] | Okay, Charlie, let’s go. | 好了 查莉 我们走 |
| [05:08] | Hello, Mr. Duncan. | 你好 邓肯先生 |
| [05:09] | Hello, teacher Lily. | 你好 莉莉老师 |
| [05:11] | I wanted to show you something charlie wrote about you. | 我想给你看看查莉是怎么描述你的 |
| [05:13] | it’s on the “mommy daddy” wall. | 在“妈咪爹地”墙上 |
| [05:14] | Let me apologize in advance. | 我先道个歉吧 |
| [05:16] | No. | 不是啦 |
| [05:17] | It’s good this time. | 这次是好事 |
| [05:23] | Here’s Charlie’s. | 这是查莉的 |
| [05:26] | “My daddy tells funny jokes.” | “我爸爸讲的笑话很搞笑” |
| [05:28] | My– | 我的 |
| [05:29] | Well, at least somebody appreciates me. | 至少还是有人欣赏我的 |
| [05:32] | Thank you, Charlie. | 谢谢你 查莉 |
| [05:34] | You’re welcome, daddy. | 不客气 爸爸 |
| [05:35] | Since you’re coming in for circle time tomorrow anyway, | 既然你明天要来互动教学的话 |
| [05:39] | How about telling the kids a couple of jokes? | 给孩子们讲几个笑话吧 怎么样 |
| [05:41] | Oh, I– | 我 |
| [05:42] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [05:43] | Sometimes I get a little rattled. | 其实我有点怯场 |
| [05:46] | Mr. Duncan, they’re four-year-olds. | 邓肯先生 他们是四岁的小孩 |
| [05:48] | You’re not hosting the oscars. | 又不是让你主持奥斯卡颁奖典礼 |
| [05:52] | Please, daddy. | 拜托了 爸爸 |
| [05:57] | Well, I guess I could tell a few jokes. | 好吧 我应该能讲好几个笑话的 |
| [05:59] | I mean, how hard could that be? | 我是说 那能有多难啊 |
| [06:01] | Tell the one about the parrot. | 就讲鹦鹉的那个笑话吧 |
| [06:03] | It’s so funny. | 很搞笑 |
| [06:10] | Oh, hey, Victor, if you’re not busy tomorrow night– | 维克多 如果你明天晚上有时间的话 |
| [06:13] | And, uh, I’m assuming you’re not– | 我猜你不忙 |
| [06:17] | Oh. I’m sorry. are you busy? | 抱歉 你忙吗 |
| [06:19] | No. | 不忙 |
| [06:21] | Continue. | 接着说 |
| [06:23] | Well, I could use some help with the senior prank. | 我需要有人帮我实施毕业恶作剧计划 |
| [06:25] | A prank? | 恶作剧吗 |
| [06:27] | I don’t know. that sounds like hijinks. | 我不知道 听着像恶搞狂欢 |
| [06:29] | Which borders on shenanigans. | 搭上了鬼把戏的边 |
| [06:32] | And from there it’s a slippery slope | 然后渐渐演变成 |
| [06:34] | into tomfoolery. | 一场愚蠢的闹剧 |
| [06:37] | And you wonder why you’re never busy. | 你还纳闷自己为啥从来不忙 |
| [06:41] | Look, I don’t wanna get into any trouble. | 听着 我不想陷入任何麻烦 |
| [06:43] | I have too much at stake. | 我正处在成败的重要关头 |
| [06:45] | I was just accepted at yale. | 我刚被耶鲁大学录取 |
| [06:47] | Hey! congratulations. | 祝贺你啊 |
| [06:49] | I was just wait-listed there. | 我只在候选名单上 |
| [06:52] | They didn’t reject you? | 他们没拒绝你吗 |
| [06:54] | Now I feel less good about getting in. | 我现在对录取的感觉没那么好了 |
| [06:57] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
| [06:59] | I’m sorry I didn’t get in too. | 没被录取 我的感觉也不太好 |
| [07:05] | Are you gonna go? | 那你就去耶鲁了 |
| [07:06] | Well, it’s between Harvard and Yale. | 还在耶鲁和哈佛之间选择 |
| [07:09] | Well, you are clearly a Harvard man. | 哦那你肯定去哈佛啊 |
| [07:11] | I mean, Yale is so “ehh” | 我是说 耶鲁如此小儿科 |
| [07:13] | And you’re so “whoa!” | 你又如此的棒 |
| [07:17] | Teddy, I know what you’re doing. | 泰迪 我知道你在干嘛 |
| [07:19] | You’re trying to talk me out of Yale | 你试图说服我不选耶鲁 |
| [07:20] | so that it opens up a spot for you. | 然后空出的位置就归你了 |
| [07:22] | That’s good Harvard thinking right there. | 多么棒的哈佛思维啊 |
| [07:25] | It’s not gonna work. | 这是没用的 |
| [07:26] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [07:26] | Well, will you help me with the senior prank? | 那你帮不帮我做毕业恶作剧 |
| [07:29] | Ivy was gonna do it, but she’s sick. | 本该是艾薇的事 但是她生病了 |
| [07:31] | Okay. why not? | 行吧 也没啥不好 |
| [07:33] | But I will not participate in any malarkey or monkeyshines. | 但是休想让我胡说八道或者胡作非为 |
| [07:38] | Those are some big words. | 用词很犀利啊 |
| [07:39] | I could have also gone with “poppycock” | 我还可以换成“胡邹八扯” |
| [07:41] | Or “balderdash.” | 或者“胡言乱语” |
| [07:43] | Okay, we get it. You got into Yale. | 好吧 我们说好了 你去耶鲁大学 |
| [08:00] | Going somewhere? | 打算去哪啊 |
| [08:03] | You forgot your lunch. | 你忘带午餐了 |
| [08:06] | Got it right here. | 就在这儿 |
| [08:07] | You forgot your homework. | 你忘了你的作业 |
| [08:08] | I don’t do my homework. | 我不做作业 |
| [08:11] | Well, you should. and as punishment, | 你敢不做 作为惩罚 |
| [08:13] | I’m gonna ride your scooter. | 我要骑你的滑板车 |
| [08:14] | – No, you’re not. – Why? | -不 不行 -为啥 |
| [08:17] | Why won’t you share with me? | 好东西干嘛不一起分享呢 |
| [08:18] | Because, mom, it’s bad enough I have a scooter, | 老妈 骑滑板车已经够逊了 |
| [08:21] | But a scooter that I share with my mom? | 还要把滑板车和老妈共享 |
| [08:23] | I’d beat myself up. | 我何苦为难我自己 |
| [08:27] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [08:28] | I won’t ride it anymore. | 我再也不骑了 |
| [08:30] | Good. thank you. | 好 谢了 |
| [08:49] | I can do this all day. | 我可以这样一整天 |
| [08:58] | So you’re telling jokes at charlie’s preschool? | 你是要到查莉的幼儿园讲笑话吗 |
| [09:00] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [09:01] | Why? | 为啥 |
| [09:06] | Look, i just wanna practice some jokes on you. | 我只是想对你练习讲几个笑话 |
| [09:09] | Just pretend you’re four years old. | 就假装你是四岁小孩 |
| [09:11] | Oh! okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:13] | All right… | 那好 |
| [09:15] | How do you make a tissue dance? | 怎么才能让纸巾跳舞 |
| [09:20] | You blow your nose in it! | 擤下你的鼻涕 |
| [09:23] | I think it goes “how do you make a tissue dance? | 我觉得应该是 “怎么才能让纸巾跳舞 |
| [09:26] | Put a little boogie in it.” | 放点鼻屎进去” |
| [09:29] | That’s what I said. | 就是我说的啊 |
| [09:31] | I may be four, but that’s not what you said. | 就算我是四岁小孩 那也不可能是你说的 |
| [09:35] | – Try another one. – All right. | -换一个试试 -好吧 |
| [09:37] | Oh! how do you make time fly? | 怎么让时间飞逝 |
| [09:40] | You throw it out the window! | 就把它扔出窗外吧 |
| [09:44] | No. no. | 不 不 |
| [09:46] | No. | 不 |
| [09:47] | To make time fly, | 想让时间飞逝 |
| [09:49] | You throw a clock out the window. | 就把钟扔出窗外吧 |
| [09:52] | That’s what I said. | 就是我说的啊 |
| [09:53] | Dad, you’re not saying the crucial word. | 老爸 你没说出关键词啊 |
| [09:55] | But I heard it inside my head. | 但是在我脑袋里听到了啊 |
| [09:59] | Did you hear me laughing inside your head? | 在你的脑袋里有没有听见我在笑啊 |
| [10:03] | You’re pretty harsh for a four-year-old. | 你对四岁小孩要求太高了吧 |
| [10:06] | Dad, you know what you need? | 老爸 你知道你需要啥吗 |
| [10:08] | Cue cards. | 提示卡片 |
| [10:09] | Then all you have to do is read the jokes. | 然后你只要照着念就好了 |
| [10:11] | But isn’t that cheating? | 那不是在作弊吗 |
| [10:13] | Let me tell you something my school counselor once told me… | 让我告诉你一些学校辅导员曾经告诉过我的事 |
| [10:17] | “Cheating is your only hope.” | 作弊是你唯一的希望 |
| [10:25] | I wonder what principal higgins is gonna say | 我想知道希金斯校长明天早上走进来 |
| [10:27] | When he walks in and sees all this tomorrow. | 看到这一切的时候他会说些什么 |
| [10:29] | Probably something like, “that’s a lot of sticky notes.” | 也许说 “好多便签啊” |
| [10:34] | And it’ll all be worth it. | 那这一切就值了 |
| [10:39] | This is really gonna get Ernie’s goat. | 厄尼一定会大发雷霆的 |
| [10:41] | You call the principal “Ernie”? | 你叫校长”厄尼” |
| [10:41] | Well, he’s given me so many awards over the years, | 他这些年给我颁了那么多次奖 |
| [10:44] | We’ve become pretty close. | 我俩已经很熟了 |
| [10:47] | Ahh! paper cut. | 纸划破手了 |
| [10:51] | My mother was right. | 我妈说对了 |
| [10:52] | Mischief always has repercussions. | 恶作剧总是会有报应的 |
| [10:55] | Calm down. It’s just a little cut. | 冷静点 这只是个小划伤 |
| [10:57] | I need first aid. did you bring some? | 我需要急救 你带急救箱了吗 |
| [10:59] | I didn’t think it was necessary, | 我认为没必要吧 |
| [11:02] | Given that we’re dealing with paper. | 毕竟只是和纸打交道啊 |
| [11:05] | It hurts! Do something! | 很痛 快啊 |
| [11:07] | Okay, fine. I have a bandage in my locker. | 好吧 我的储物柜里有创可贴 |
| [11:09] | I’ll be right back. | 我马上回来 |
| [11:18] | What’s going on here? | 怎么回事 |
| [11:19] | I can explain. | 我能解释 |
| [11:20] | Let’s go. | 走吧 |
| [11:21] | Where are you taking me? | 你要带我去哪里 |
| [11:23] | To the movies. | 去看电影 |
| [11:24] | Oh, thank goodness. | 噢 谢天谢地 |
| [11:25] | I thought you were taking me to jail. | 我还以为你要带我去拘留所 |
| [11:27] | You have the right to remain silent. | 你有权利保持沉默 |
| [11:29] | Oh, don’t worry. I never talk during the movies. | 噢 别担心 我看电影时从来不说话 |
| [11:36] | Okay, Victor. | 好了 维克多 |
| [11:39] | Victor? | 维克多 |
| [11:41] | Maybe he left a note. | 也许他留了一张便条 |
| [11:45] | This could take a while. | 但找到它可要费一番功夫了 |
| [12:00] | There you are! What happened? | 终于找到你了 发生了什么 |
| [12:01] | Where did you go? | 你刚才去哪了 |
| [12:02] | Not to the movies. I’ll tell you that. | 不是去看电影 我要告诉你 |
| [12:07] | I got arrested. | 我被拘留了 |
| [12:09] | – What?! – That’s right. | -怎么会 -我说真的 |
| [12:10] | Handcuffed, fingerprinted | 带着手铐 录了指纹 |
| [12:11] | And had my mug shot taken. | 而且还留下了照片档案 |
| [12:14] | You ever been to jail, Teddy? | 你从来没去过拘留所吧 泰迪 |
| [12:16] | Super adventure land jail. | 去过大冒险乐园的拘留所 |
| [12:20] | Denver county jail is a little different. | 丹佛镇的拘留所可有一点区别 |
| [12:22] | It’s an adventure. | 确实是一次冒险 |
| [12:23] | But it’s not super! | 但是一点也不像乐园 |
| [12:26] | I have to go see the principal tomorrow. | 我明天得去见校长了 |
| [12:29] | If he presses charges, my college admission could be rescinded. | 如果他提出上诉 我的大学录取就要被废除了 |
| [12:32] | “Rescinded” means “taken away” for those of you on the wait list. | “废除”就是为了你们那些待录单上的人要“拿走”我名字 |
| [12:38] | Victor, I’m so sorry. | 维克多 我很抱歉 |
| [12:40] | Are you? | 真的吗 |
| [12:41] | I mean, wasn’t this all part of your big plan? | 我是说 这难道不是你伟大计划的一部分吗 |
| [12:44] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢 |
| [12:45] | You set me up! | 都是你安排的 |
| [12:46] | First you talk me into doing the prank, | 首先你说服我去恶作剧 |
| [12:48] | Then you conveniently disappear just before the police arrived. | 然后你在警察来之前恰好消失了 |
| [12:51] | Why would i do that? | 我干嘛要这样做 |
| [12:52] | So that my arrest would open up a spot for you at Yale. | 这样逮捕了我 你就有机会去耶鲁了 |
| [12:55] | Okay, Victor, you’re babbling. | 好了 维克多 你在胡说 |
| [12:57] | How much blood did you lose from that paper cut? | 你被纸划伤后到底失了多少血 |
| [13:00] | Not enough to kill me, | 还没多到会死 |
| [13:02] | If that’s what you were hoping for! | 如果那就是你期望的 |
| [13:09] | Ba-bam! | 当当 |
| [13:11] | Oh, what’s this? | 噢 这是什么 |
| [13:12] | I got a scooter too. | 我也弄到了一辆滑板车 |
| [13:14] | – Oh, that’s great. – Yup! | -哦 真棒 -是啊 |
| [13:15] | And now we can ride together. | 现在我们就可以一块骑了 |
| [13:17] | That’s not so great. | 这可一点也不棒 |
| [13:19] | Mom, let me explain something to you. | 妈妈 让我解释一下吧 |
| [13:22] | I’m in middle school. | 我已经上中学了 |
| [13:23] | I can’t be seen riding side-by-side | 我才不要被看见有人陪我骑车 |
| [13:25] | With my mother. | 那人还是我妈 |
| [13:27] | Look, I bought this so that we could ride together. | 瞧 我买这个就是为了能和你一起骑 |
| [13:29] | – We’re gonna ride together. – No, we’re not. | -我们会一块骑的 -不 我们不会 |
| [13:31] | – Yes, we are. – No, we’re not. | -会的 -不会 |
| [13:32] | We can go back and forth all night about this, | 我们可以这样争论整个晚上 |
| [13:34] | But the bottom line is | 但是最低要求是 |
| [13:36] | We’re going on a double scoot. | 我们可以共乘一辆双人滑板车 |
| [13:39] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [13:40] | But here are the conditions. | 但是条件是 |
| [13:40] | We go to a neighborhood where nobody knows me, | 我们得去一个没有人认识我的地方 |
| [13:44] | We scoot for no longer than 30 minutes | 我们最多一起骑30分钟 |
| [13:46] | And if at any point you tell me how cute i look, | 而且一旦有人以任何方式告诉你我看起来很可爱 |
| [13:48] | It’s over. | 骑行就立马结束 |
| [13:50] | 40 minutes and I get one “cute.” | 40分钟而且允许说一次可爱 |
| [13:52] | 35 minutes and you can pinch my cheek. | 35分钟而且你可以吻我脸颊 |
| [13:54] | Deal. | 成交 |
| [14:06] | Teddy, we are so proud of you for graduating from Yale. | 泰迪 我们为你能从耶鲁毕业而骄傲 |
| [14:10] | Aww. thanks, dad. | 啊 谢谢 爸爸 |
| [14:12] | But, um, why is it just you and Toby here? | 但是 嗯 怎么只有你和托比在这儿 |
| [14:15] | Oh, everybody else was busy in your mom’s dream. | 哦 其他人正在你妈妈的梦里忙着 |
| [14:17] | Tonight she’s starring in her one-woman broadway show | 今天晚上她在主演她的单人百老汇秀 |
| [14:20] | “Ba-bamalot.” | “快来看啊” |
| [14:23] | Hup, food’s here. | 哈 食物来了 |
| [14:24] | Oh. I’ll get it. | 我去拿 |
| [14:31] | Pizza delivery. | 披萨外卖到了 |
| [14:34] | Victor? | 维克多 |
| [14:35] | Hello, Teddy. | 你好 泰迪 |
| [14:37] | What? | 天呐 |
| [14:38] | You’re delivering pizza now? | 你现在在送披萨外卖 |
| [14:39] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [14:40] | After my arrest, no college would take me. | 自从我被逮捕后 就没有学校愿意录取我了 |
| [14:42] | So instead of realizing my destiny | 所以我不能完成我命定的使命 |
| [14:44] | Of becoming a brilliant scientist, | 成为一位伟大的科学家 |
| [14:46] | I work a dead-end job with no hope for the future. | 我只能做这没出路的工作而且未来也没有任何希望 |
| [14:51] | This is awkward. | 不好意思 |
| [14:53] | We didn’t order pepperoni. | 我们没有点意大利香肠 |
| [14:58] | My life is a disaster, Teddy. | 我的生活是一场灾难 泰迪 |
| [15:00] | And it’s all your fault. | 而且这全是你的错 |
| [15:02] | Fault fault… | 错 错 |
| [15:03] | What are you doing? | 你怎么了 |
| [15:05] | I thought the dream was over. | 我想这个梦要结束了 |
| [15:08] | No. I get to say when the dream is over… | 不 我才能决定这个梦什么时候结束 |
| [15:11] | Over over over… | 结束 结束 结束 |
| [15:22] | Okay, dad, showtime. All you gotta do is read the cards. | 好 爸爸 表演时间了 你要做的只是读出这些话 |
| [15:24] | Got it. | 明白 |
| [15:26] | Okay, children, we have a real treat for you today. | 好了 孩子们 我们今天要大饱眼福啦 |
| [15:29] | Let’s welcome Charlie’s daddy, Mr. Duncan. | 让我们欢迎查莉的爸爸 邓肯先生 |
| [15:35] | Ahh. | 啊 |
| [15:39] | Thank you, thank you, thank you. | 谢谢 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [15:41] | So, anybody here from outta town? | 那么 这儿有人是从镇子外面来的么 |
| [15:47] | Okay, now for a few jokes. | 好吧 现在让我们听一些小笑话 |
| [15:49] | Why did the chicken cross the road? | 为什么小鸡过马路 |
| [15:52] | To make time fly! | 为了让时间流逝 |
| [15:58] | Next joke, next joke. | 下一个笑话 下一个 |
| [16:00] | Uh, what’s black and white and red all over? | 呃 黑色白色和红色相间的是什么 |
| [16:07] | To get to the other side. | 为了到马路对面去 |
| [16:13] | You know what? They don’t get it | 你知道吗 他们不明白 |
| [16:14] | Because they don’t know what a newspaper is. | 因为他们不知道报纸是什么 |
| [16:17] | You didn’t say “newspaper.” | 你可没有说“报纸” |
| [16:20] | Wrap it up. | 到此为止吧 |
| [16:27] | Okay okay okay, look. | 好吧 好吧 好吧 你们看 |
| [16:29] | The thing is | 事实就是 |
| [16:30] | I’m not very good at telling jokes. | 我一点也不擅长讲笑话 |
| [16:32] | We know. | 我们都知道 |
| [16:39] | I guess the truth is some people just aren’t funny. | 我猜这世上总有一些人一点也不有趣 |
| [16:50] | But I’m not one of those people! | 但我可不是那种人 |
| [16:56] | Told you he was funny. | 早告诉你他很搞笑了吧 |
| [17:05] | So, what’d you wanna see me about, Ernie? | 嗨 想见我有什么事 厄尼 |
| [17:07] | Uh-uh. Principal Higgins. | 是“希金斯校长” |
| [17:10] | I lost first-name privileges? | 我失去了叫你名字的特权吗 |
| [17:13] | Are we still on for jazz fest? | 那我们的爵士节还照计划进行么 |
| [17:14] | No, we are not. | 不 不行 |
| [17:16] | Excuse me, principal higgins. | 抱歉 希金斯校长 |
| [17:18] | Sorry to interrupt. | 抱歉打扰你们 |
| [17:20] | What is it, duncan? | 怎么了 邓肯 |
| [17:20] | Look, the senior prank was my idea. | 这个恶作剧都是我的主意 |
| [17:23] | Victor wanted nothing to do with it, | 维克多本来一点也不想参与 |
| [17:24] | But I forced him to help me. | 但我强迫他来帮助我 |
| [17:26] | So if you’re gonna punish anyone… | 所以如果你要惩罚谁的话 |
| [17:30] | Punish me. | 请惩罚我吧 |
| [17:32] | I’m okay with that. | 我没啥意见 |
| [17:36] | I am very disappointed in both of you. | 我对你们俩很失望 |
| [17:39] | Two of my best students, | 两个我最好的学生 |
| [17:42] | And all you came up with was sticky notes? | 你们仅仅想到了便签条的主意吗 |
| [17:44] | That’s pathetic! | 这太可悲了 |
| [17:47] | So you’re not going to press charges? | 所以您不准备提出上诉 |
| [17:48] | For what? Lack of creativity? | 因为什么上诉 缺乏创意吗 |
| [17:52] | Next time you pull a prank, | 下一次你们再恶作剧时 |
| [17:54] | Put a cow in my office | 应该在我办公桌放一头奶牛 |
| [17:55] | Or glue the furniture to the ceiling. | 或者把家具都粘在天花板上 |
| [17:57] | Something! | 这之类的 |
| [17:59] | Now you’re thinking, Ernie. | 你真能想 厄尼 |
| [18:01] | Stop that. | 别叫我厄尼 |
| [18:05] | I gotta take this. Now, uh, | 我得接这个电话 现在 嗯 |
| [18:06] | Clean all this up. | 你们把这些打扫干净 |
| [18:12] | Thank you, Teddy. | 谢谢你 泰迪 |
| [18:14] | You didn’t have to do that. | 你没有必要做这些 |
| [18:15] | Victor, as much as i wanna go to yale, | 维克多 虽然我很想去耶鲁 |
| [18:17] | I would never do anything to hurt your chances. | 但我不会做任何妨碍到你进耶鲁的事情 |
| [18:20] | I’m glad to hear you say that. | 我很高兴听你这样说 |
| [18:22] | Because I’m accepting their offer. | 因为我已经接受了他们的录取 |
| [18:24] | You should. | 你应该的 |
| [18:26] | Yale is lucky to have you. | 耶鲁能够招到你很幸运 |
| [18:27] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [18:29] | And I hope you end up getting in too. | 而且我希望你最后也能被录取 |
| [18:32] | That… | 那个电话 |
| [18:33] | Was the north high principal. | 是北方高中校长打来的 |
| [18:36] | You know what his seniors did to him? | 你们知道他的学生对他做了什么吗 |
| [18:38] | They took apart his car | 他们拆了他的汽车 |
| [18:40] | And reassembled it in his office! | 然后在他的办公室里重新组装起来 |
| [18:42] | Now that’s a prank! | 这才是恶作剧 |
| [18:45] | We’re sorry, okay? | 我们很抱歉 行了吗 |
| [18:47] | What am I supposed to tell him? | 我应该怎么跟他说 |
| [18:48] | “Yeah, things are tough over here too. | “是啊 这儿情况也很糟糕” |
| [18:50] | I got stickied.” | “我的办公室贴满了便签” |
| [18:52] | We could trash your office if you want. | 我们可以拆了你的办公室如果你希望的话 |
| [18:57] | That’s the least you could do. | 这还算差强人意 |
| [19:07] | Whoo! This isn’t so bad, is it? | 也没那么糟 你觉得呢 |
| [19:10] | 17 minutes and counting. | 已经17分钟了 正在计时 |
| [19:14] | All right. Stop the clock. | 好吧 停下你的钟 |
| [19:16] | I need to find a bathroom. | 我得去一下洗手间 |
| [19:19] | Well well well. | 看那 看那 看那 |
| [19:21] | Gabe Duncan. | 盖比·邓肯 |
| [19:23] | Paul, what are you doing on this side of town? | 保罗 你在镇子这边干什么 |
| [19:26] | I get around. | 我随便走走 |
| [19:27] | I guess the question is | 我想现在的问题是 |
| [19:30] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [19:32] | Oh, you know, just nothing. | 哦 如你所见 没什么 |
| [19:34] | Hanging out. | 就是逛一逛 |
| [19:38] | By myself. | 我一个人 |
| [19:39] | Hey, wanna see a cute pic? | 想不想看一张可爱的照片啊 |
| [19:43] | It’s you and your mommy scooting together. | 是你和你妈妈一起骑滑板车 |
| [19:47] | You know, I think that a lot of people | 你知道 我想很多人 |
| [19:49] | Would like to see this. | 都很乐意看这张照片 |
| [19:51] | Oh, okay, let’s just calm down for a second. | 好好 我们先冷静一下 |
| [19:53] | “post album.” | 上传相册图片 |
| [19:55] | Should I? | 可以吗 |
| [19:58] | No no no. | 别 千万别 |
| [20:00] | What do you want, paul? | 你想要什么 保罗 |
| [20:01] | I’m tired of walking. | 我走累了 |
| [20:03] | I could use a little transpo. | 我想要一个小交通工具 |
| [20:04] | Oh, please take it. This thing has brought me nothing but trouble. | 拿走吧 这个东西除了麻烦什么也没带给我 |
| [20:09] | Nice doing business with you. | 与你做交易真不错 |
| [20:11] | Delete it first. | 先删了它 |
| [20:14] | Now get outta here. | 行了 走吧 |
| [20:19] | What happened to your scooter? | 你的滑板车怎么了 |
| [20:21] | – I traded it. – For what? | -我用它做了一个交易 -换了什么 |
| [20:23] | My reputation. | 我的名声 |
| [20:28] | I’ll explain later. | 我之后再跟你解释 |
| [20:29] | – Need a ride home? – Yeah. | -需要我带你回家吗 -是的 |
| [20:31] | Hop on. | 上来吧 |
| [20:35] | Okay, hold on tight, sweetie. | 好的 抓紧了 甜心 |
| [20:37] | And smile. | 然后笑一个 |
| [20:48] | Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! | 哦 天呐 哦 天呐 |
| [20:49] | What what? what is it? | 什么 什么 发生了什么 |
| [20:51] | It’s another email from Yale. | 是耶鲁的又一封邮件 |
| [20:52] | Oh, you want me to– | 哦 你想让我来 |
| [20:54] | No! | 不 |
| [20:58] | Mom, you do it. | 妈妈 你来看 |
| [20:59] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [21:04] | You got in. | 你被录取了 |
| [21:05] | I got in? | 我被录取了 |
| [21:06] | You got in. | 你被录取了 |
| [21:15] | Oh, man! We– | 哦 天啊 我们 |
| [21:17] | We are so proud of you! | 我们为你骄傲 |
| [21:19] | I’m so proud of me too. | 我也为我自己感到骄傲 |
| [21:22] | What about me? | 那我呢 |
| [21:25] | I’m gonna be the mother of a Yalie. | 我就要成为耶鲁学生的妈妈了 |
| [21:29] | You’re looking at me again. | 你们又在看我了 |
| [21:31] | No, I didn’t– | 不 我没 |
| [21:40] | Well, Charlie, I got into yale. | 查莉 我被耶鲁录取了 |
| [21:43] | You know, there’s actually | 你知道 有很多名人 |
| [21:45] | a lot of famous people that went there. | 都是从那出来的 |
| [21:47] | Several U.S. presidents, supreme court justices | 好几个美国总统 最高法院法官 |
| [21:51] | and the Circle Gurgle. | 还有咯咯一族的圈圈 |
| [21:56] | Yep, soon I will be joining that proud lineup. | 是的 马上我就要加入那个光荣的行列 |
| [22:00] | Whee! H-hey, Gabe! | 嗨 盖比 |
| [22:03] | I got your scooter back. | 我把你的滑板车带回来了 |
| [22:05] | – What? – Yeah. | -什么 -是的 |
| [22:07] | Big brother to the rescue. | 你大哥前来救援 |
| [22:09] | Saw that punk and just took it from him. | 我看见那小子 就直接从他那拿回来了 |
| [22:12] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [22:13] | He was not happy about it. | 他对此很不开心 |
| [22:16] | Yeah, thank you, | 呃 谢谢你 |
| [22:18] | But there’s just one problem. | 只有一个问题 |
| [22:20] | That’s not my scooter. | 这不是我的滑板车 |
| [22:24] | – I’ll be right back. – Yeah. | -我很快回来 -好的 |
| [22:30] | Wish him good luck, Charlie. | 祝他好运咯 小查莉 |
| [22:44] | There she is. | 她来了 |
| [22:45] | The toast of Broadway. | 百老汇的广受赞誉的人 |
| [22:46] | You were magnificent tonight. | 你今晚真的很华丽 |
| [22:48] | Great, listen, I’m gonna need you | 好的 听着 我需要你们俩 |
| [22:50] | both in my dream tomorrow night. | 明晚也来我的梦里 |
| [22:51] | Mm, no can do, mom. | 嗯 我做不到 老妈 |
| [22:53] | I gotta be in Gabe’s dream tomorrow night. | 我明晚得去盖比的梦里 |
| [22:55] | He’s getting chased by monsters | 他在被怪兽追赶 |
| [22:56] | and I do not wanna miss that. | 我可不想错过那些 |
| [22:57] | And I have to be in my own dream. | 我还得呆在自己梦里 |
| [22:59] | I’m giving a book report in front of my second-grade class in my underwear. | 我得穿着内衣在我的二年级课堂上做读书报告 |
| [23:03] | Let’s bring this back to me, okay? This is my dream. | 你们谈谈我好吗 这可是我的梦 |
| [23:06] | Where is Gabe anyway? | 对了 盖比在哪儿 |
| [23:08] | Sorry we’re late. | 抱歉我们迟到了 |
| [23:09] | Mrs. Dabney was having that nightmare again. | 达布尼太太又在做那个噩梦了 |
| [23:12] | We? | 我们 |
| [23:17] | How many of you are there? | 你们有多少个 |
| [23:19] | 3000 3,000. | |
| [23:21] | She had tacos. | 她有玉米卷饼 |