| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Guys with kid is taped in front of a live studio audience. | 奶爸当家是在现场录影棚观众观看下录制完成的 |
| [00:06] | – Mmm. – Oh, lord, look away Freddie, look away. | -唉 -哦 天啊 别看 Freddie 千万别看 |
| [00:11] | The good news is I’m raising him to think that | 好消息是我从他出生就一直告诉他 |
| [00:13] | this game is called slice and I’m the best in the world. | 这个游戏叫做 削球 而且我是世界上最棒的 |
| [00:17] | Chris, I’m gonna bum a diaper for later. | Chris 我一会儿要跟你要个纸尿裤 |
| [00:19] | You didn’t bring diapers again? | 你又没带吗 |
| [00:20] | What would you do if I was not around? | 如果我不在这你要怎么办呢 |
| [00:22] | Got one from Gary. | 从Gary那要一个 |
| [00:24] | No! | 不行 |
| [00:26] | Why not? | 为什么 |
| [00:27] | Because this is what didn’t happen this morning. | 因为今早我没有说这句话 |
| [00:29] | “Honey, I’m gonna spend the day with the twins, | 亲爱的 我要和双胞胎们呆一天 |
| [00:32] | but I’m gonna pack extra supplies for my adult friend.” | 而且我得为我的成年哥们儿收拾点额外的宝宝用品 |
| [00:36] | You know what, Nick? It’s… it’s fine. | 好吧 Nick |
| [00:37] | Here, take a couple. | 来 拿两个吧 |
| [00:38] | I got to run anyway and put Ernie down for his nap. | 我反正都要走了 带Ernie去打个盹儿 |
| [00:40] | Don’t go. Relax. | 别走 放松点 |
| [00:41] | You’re having fun. Ernie’s having fun. | 你不是挺开心的吗 Ernie也挺开心的 |
| [00:44] | “Relax, have fun”… you know, historically, | 放松 开开心 你说怎么着 根据以前的经历来看 |
| [00:46] | listening to that advice from you has ended badly for me. | 听你说这句话往往对我都会有坏结果 |
| [00:48] | “Relax! It’s totally cool to wear a Yankees hat at Fenway.” | 放松点 在芬威球场穿洋基队的衣服没事的 |
| [00:52] | Yeah! Yeah, we got the crap | 没错 没错 我们那天被 |
| [00:54] | kicked out of us that day. | 狼狈地踢出了球场 |
| [00:55] | I lost my peripheral vision. | 我都丧失了我的周边视觉了 |
| [00:57] | Anyway, I can’t stay. | 不管怎么说 我不能留在这了 |
| [00:58] | Ernie’s got to stay on his nap schedule. | Ernie必须遵循他的小睡计划 |
| [01:00] | – Gary, back me up on this. – Don’t look at me. | -Gary 支持我一下 -别看我 |
| [01:03] | I have four boys all under the age of eight. | 我有四个还不到8岁的儿子 |
| [01:05] | My only schedule is to cry a little every morning. | 我唯一的日程就是每天早晨小小的哭一下 |
| [01:09] | If, if Ernie doesn’t nap… | 如果 如果Ernie不小睡的话 |
| [01:10] | Chris? Chris? You know what? I get it. | Chris Chris 嗯 我明白你的意思 |
| [01:12] | It’s your first kid, okay? | 这是你第一个孩子 好吧 |
| [01:13] | But if he misses a nap once in a while, | 但是即使他偶尔错过了一次午睡 |
| [01:15] | it’s not the end of the world. | 也不意味着就世界末日了 |
| [01:17] | And if it is, I regret having a nicoise salad as my last meal. | 而且如果真的就世界末日了 我很后悔最后一餐吃的是法式尼斯沙拉 |
| [01:22] | All right, you know what? | 好吧 行 |
| [01:23] | Maybe you’re right. I’ll stay. | 也许你是对的 我留下来吧 |
| [01:24] | Good. | 很好 |
| [01:25] | Hup! | 哈 |
| [01:28] | Not again. | 又来 |
| [01:29] | Chris, why are all your new clubs so slippery? | Chris 为什么你所有的新球杆都这么滑呢 |
| [02:03] | I got to hand it to you, Nick. This day is working out. | Nick 我真是服了你了 这一天过得挺好的 |
| [02:06] | I got to play golf. Ernie napped on the subway. | 我玩了高尔夫球 Ernie也在地铁里小睡了一下 |
| [02:08] | And you napped on the subway too. | 你也在地铁里打了个盹儿 |
| [02:11] | We had a competition to see who could throw | 我们比赛看谁能在 |
| [02:12] | the most puffs in your mouth. | 你嘴里塞的泡芙最多 |
| [02:15] | This guy named Doug won. | 赢家是那个叫道格的人 |
| [02:19] | – Ready, Gary? – Oh, yep. | -Gary 好了吗 -哦 嗯 |
| [02:21] | Where you guys going? | 你们要去哪儿 |
| [02:22] | I asked your wife to help me organize my apartment. | 我让你妻子来帮我整理一下我的公寓 |
| [02:25] | You know, there’s a lot of junk up there, | 你知道的 那儿有很多垃圾 |
| [02:26] | and Marny won’t throw anything away. | Marny又什么都不会扔 |
| [02:28] | You know, we have a drawer full of baby hair and lost teeth? | 我们有个抽屉里面装满了婴儿的头发和掉的牙齿 |
| [02:32] | We could almost build another person. | 我们都可以再造出来一个人了 |
| [02:34] | Well, Gary, you got the right woman for the job. | Gary 你可是找对人了 |
| [02:36] | She keeps a label maker in a box labeled “Label maker.” | 她专门有个箱子用来装打标器 箱子上还标着 打标器 |
| [02:39] | Hmm. | 嗯 |
| [02:41] | This label maker is the only thing | Nick 这个打标器是唯一一件 |
| [02:43] | standing between us and chaos, Nick. | 让我们远离杂乱不堪的东西 |
| [02:45] | Chaos. | 乱七八糟 |
| [02:47] | Can you empty the dishwasher while I’m gone? | 我走之后你能把洗碗机的东西都拿出来吗 |
| [02:49] | On it. | 知道了 |
| [02:49] | Thank you. You’ve got the boys? | 谢谢你 你看着孩子们呢吗 |
| [02:51] | Yeah, they’re in the box labeled “Boys.” | 嗯 他们在一个标签上写着孩子们的箱子里 |
| [02:54] | – Where are the boys? – They’re around here somewhere. | -孩子们呢 -他们就在这里的某个地方 |
| [02:57] | Should we put them | 为了安全起见 我们是不是应该把他们 |
| [02:58] | in the octagon, just to be safe? | 放在八边形里(一种房间内由八边形围栏围成的儿童安全玩耍范围) |
| [02:59] | Please. When I was little, my mom used to send us out | 别怕这个怕那个的 我小的时候 我妈妈过去常常把我们 |
| [03:02] | to play in the woods… | 送到森林里面玩儿 |
| [03:03] | the woods, where bears live. | 是那种有熊出没的森林 |
| [03:08] | Yeah, but your mom is… | 是的 但你妈妈是 |
| [03:10] | An angel? Is that what you were gonna say, Chris… | 一个天使 Chris 你是要这么说吗 |
| [03:12] | that my mother is an angel? | 我妈妈是个天使 |
| [03:18] | Looks like I found the boys. | 看起来我找到咱们的小伙子们了 |
| [03:22] | – What’s the matter? – Nothing. | -怎么了 -没事 |
| [03:25] | Nick, why aren’t you opening the door? | Nick 你为什么不把门打开 |
| [03:27] | Because it’s locked. | 因为它锁上了 |
| [03:28] | What? | 什么 |
| [03:32] | Huh. Look at that… it’s locked for you too. | 嗯 瞧啊 对你来说也同样是锁着的 |
| [03:37] | Declutter? | 收拾屋子 |
| [03:39] | I don’t need help de-cluttering, ’cause everything is fine. | 我不需要别人帮我收拾屋子 这里没什么不好的呀 |
| [03:43] | Really? Fine? | 真的 很好 |
| [03:44] | Without looking down, what color is our rug? | 别低头看 咱们的小地毯是什么颜色的 |
| [03:47] | We have a rug? | 咱们还有小地毯吗 |
| [03:49] | Look, sometimes it’s good to have a third party come in | 瞧 有时候让第三方加入 |
| [03:51] | to help you determine what you need and what you don’t. | 确定你需要的和你不需要的 也挺好的 |
| [03:55] | Emily, really, this is unnecessary. | Emily 真的 这没必要 |
| [03:58] | You should just be home with your family, | 你就应该在家跟你的家人呆在一起 |
| [04:00] | minding your own… | 管好你自己的 |
| [04:02] | I don’t want to say “Business,” ’cause that sounds rude. | 我不想说 事情 因为听起来很不礼貌 |
| [04:06] | I promise it’s gonna feel so good | 我保证 一旦我们开始把东西扔掉 |
| [04:08] | once we start throwing stuff out. | 你就会感觉棒极了 |
| [04:09] | Good! Hey, let’s start | 好的 嘿 咱们就从 |
| [04:10] | with her six bags of old maternity clothes. | 她那六大袋旧孕妇装开始吧 |
| [04:13] | Hold on! | 等一下 |
| [04:15] | What if I want to have another baby? | 要是我想再要个孩子怎么办 |
| [04:18] | Not with me, you’re not. | 没有我 你就不会再有一个孩子了 |
| [04:20] | Well, I might meet another man… younger, richer. | 我可能会遇到另一个男人 年轻点 有钱点 |
| [04:23] | Great! Then he can buy you new maternity clothes. | 非常好 那么他就会给你买新的孕妇装了 |
| [04:27] | Sounds like these should go in the charity pile. | 听起来这些东西要放到捐赠的那堆里面了 |
| [04:29] | Mm. Charity pile. | 嗯 捐赠部分 |
| [04:31] | – How’s this feeling? – Good. | 感觉怎么样 -好啊 |
| [04:34] | – Good. – No, not good. | -相当好 -不 不是好 |
| [04:36] | Great! Keep it going. | 而是非常棒 继续 |
| [04:39] | Oh, hey. Oh, no, no, no. | 哦 嘿 哦 不 不 不 |
| [04:41] | Emily, you don’t have to worry about those. | Emily 你不用管这些东西了 |
| [04:42] | These are mine. | 这些是我的 |
| [04:44] | Oh, well, why do you still need these? | 哦 那么 你还要这些做什么呢 |
| [04:47] | Are you still selling commercial real estate? | 你还在销售商业地产吗 |
| [04:50] | – I did. – Eight years ago! | -我销售过 -八年前了 |
| [04:53] | – Sounds like garbage to me! – No, Emily! | -对我来说就是垃圾 -不 Emily |
| [04:56] | Emily, we’re here to focus on Marny’s stuff. | Emily 我们来这是为了清理Marny的东西 |
| [04:59] | Well, I don’t see Marny’s stuff or Gary’s stuff. | 好吧 我可没看到什么Marny的东西还是Gary的东西 |
| [05:02] | I just see stuff. | 我看到的就是东西 |
| [05:03] | It’s my gift. It’s my curse. | 整理是我的天赋 是我的诅咒 |
| [05:07] | How’s that feel? | 感觉怎么样 |
| [05:09] | Good. Good. | 好 相当之好 |
| [05:13] | Yeah, no, we tried that, | 哦 不 我们试过了 |
| [05:14] | but the safety mechanism must be broken. | 但是门的安全装置肯定是坏了 |
| [05:16] | Okay, okay, just get here as soon as you can. | 好吧 好吧 最快速度过来就行 |
| [05:18] | Maintenance guy’s on his way. | 维修工已经在路上了 |
| [05:19] | Oh, we don’t need the maintenance guy. | 哦 我们不需要维修工 |
| [05:22] | I will get the boys to open the door from the inside. | 我会让孩子们从里面把门打开的 |
| [05:25] | I’m coaxing them with a feather. | 我正在用一片羽毛哄骗他们 |
| [05:28] | A feather? | 一片羽毛 |
| [05:28] | Yeah, yeah, that’s how they got those Chilean miners out. | 是啊 是啊 智利矿工就是这样被救出来的 |
| [05:33] | Hey, man, I got to stop your wife. | 嘿 兄弟 我真要阻止你老婆了 |
| [05:34] | You got a taser? | 你有泰瑟枪吗(类似电击麻醉枪) |
| [05:37] | Uh, once she’s organizing, she can’t be stopped. | 嗯 一旦她开始整理 人类已经无法阻止她了 |
| [05:39] | The taser just makes her mad. | 泰瑟枪只能让她疯狂 |
| [05:41] | But she’s throwing away all my old work stuff… | 但是她正扔我以前工作的东西呢 |
| [05:44] | business cards, files, and my desktop zen garden! | 名片 文件 还有我的桌游禅宗园 |
| [05:48] | How am I supposed to relax without my desktop zen garden? | 没有了禅宗园我要怎么放松身心 |
| [05:52] | Well, you could try setting warehouse fires. | 好吧 你可以试试弄几场仓库大火 |
| [05:53] | That worked for my cousin. | 对我表哥而言挺有效的 |
| [05:56] | Chris, I’m gonna need you to store all that | Chris 我得让你把那些东西存放在 |
| [05:58] | in your apartment, all right? | 你的公寓 行吗 |
| [05:59] | We’re a little busy right now, okay? | 我们现在有点忙 看到了吗 |
| [06:00] | Nick got the kids locked in the bathroom. | Nick把孩子们锁在厕所里了 |
| [06:02] | Correction… Nick got the kids unlocked from the bathroom. | 更正一下 Nick把孩子们从厕所里解救出来了 |
| [06:06] | I got the doorknob off. | 我把门把手弄下来了 |
| [06:07] | Now watch as the door swings wide open. | 现在来看这门如何大敞四开吧 |
| [06:15] | Well, not only have I not solved the problem, | 好吧 我不光没有解决这个问题 |
| [06:18] | but I can say with confidence I have made it worse. | 但我自信地说我把问题搞的更糟了 |
| [06:22] | You know, when Freddie makes that face, | Freddie做那种表情的时候 |
| [06:24] | it means he’s going number two. | 就表示他要尿尿了 |
| [06:32] | I got it. I got it. | 找到了 找到了 |
| [06:34] | Hey. Don’t worry, kids! | 嘿 别害怕 孩子们 |
| [06:36] | String cheese coming through, all right? | 奶酪条来了 |
| [06:38] | Yeah. It’s almost like they designed string cheese | 很好 好像人们就是为了适合通过门把手 |
| [06:41] | to fit through doorknob holes. | 专门设计的奶酪条 |
| [06:42] | This must be more common than we think. | 这种事情肯定比我们想象的要常见的多 |
| [06:45] | Okay, Ernie doesn’t like string cheese. | 好吧 Ernie不喜欢奶酪条 |
| [06:47] | Plus, it’s dinnertime. | 而且 已经到晚饭时间了 |
| [06:49] | He only eats chicken vegetable medley, okay? | 他只吃鸡肉蔬菜沙拉 好吗 |
| [06:51] | And if he doesn’t get fed soon, there will be crying… | 而且如果他不马上吃到东西 他会哭的 |
| [06:53] | first from him, then from me, and I will see to it also you. | 从他开始 然后是我 然后我会修理你 |
| [06:57] | We will figure something out. | 我们会想出办法来的 |
| [06:58] | Well, how do you expect to feed him? | 那么 你想怎么给他吃的呢 |
| [07:00] | Do… do you have a spoon that’s six feet long? | 你 你有6尺长的勺子吗 |
| [07:03] | I do. | 我有 |
| [07:16] | I can’t believe this is working. | 我都不敢相信这能有用 |
| [07:17] | Yeah, I thought about this one night | 是的 有一天晚上我跟Marny一起 |
| [07:19] | sitting across the table from Marny, | 坐在桌子对面的时候想到的 |
| [07:20] | and I really wanted to eat her jell-o. | 我当时真的很想吃她的果冻 |
| [07:23] | Okay, uh, four degrees to the left. | 好的 嗯 往左四度 |
| [07:24] | – Okay. – Good, all right, | -好了 -很好 很好 |
| [07:25] | okay, almost there. | 好的 就快成功了 |
| [07:26] | Come on, Ernie. Come on. | 快点 Ernie 快点 |
| [07:27] | Take a bite… one last bite. | 吃一口 最后一口 |
| [07:29] | Okay, guys, we’re gonna have to sing the song again. | 好吧 兄弟们 我们必须得再唱一遍那首歌了 |
| [07:31] | -It’s the only way he’ll finish.- No, no. I cannot do it. | -这是让他吃完的唯一方法 -不 不 我不能唱 |
| [07:34] | I can’t sing the song, man. | 我可不能唱这首歌了 哥们儿 |
| [07:35] | It’s gonna be stuck in my head forever. | 这歌会在我脑袋中永远回荡着的 |
| [07:36] | – Come on. – Just start high. | -快点 -调起的高点 |
| [07:38] | I ate some food, and I liked it | 我吃了点东西 我很喜欢 |
| [07:42] | chicken and vegetable medley | 是鸡肉和蔬菜沙拉 |
| [07:45] | I ate some food, just to try it | 我吃了点东西 只是想试一试 |
| [07:49] | I hope my tummy don’t mind it | 希望我的胃不会介意 |
| [07:53] | food is so good, food is so right | 食物真棒 食物如此美妙 |
| [07:56] | please eat your dinner tonight | 请你享受今天的晚餐吧 |
| [08:00] | Oh, good boy! Good boy, Ernie! | 哦 好儿子 好儿子 Ernie |
| [08:02] | – Okay, he ate it. – Nice work, everyone. Whoo! | -好的 他吃完了 -干得好 喔 |
| [08:04] | All right. Great. I got to get back upstairs. | 好的 好极了 我得赶紧回到楼上去了 |
| [08:07] | I can almost feel them throwing away all of my old cologne. | 我都能感觉到她们正扔我的古龙水呢 |
| [08:09] | Where am I gonna find a new bottle of canoe? | 我要到哪儿去找一瓶新的轻舟啊(一种古龙水的名字) |
| [08:12] | I got to get your wife out of my apartment. | 我必须得把你老婆从我公寓里弄出来 |
| [08:13] | Hey, no, no, no, no! You got to keep her there. | 嘿 不 不 不 不 你得把她留在那儿 |
| [08:15] | -Emily cannot know about this. -Why? | -Emily不能知道这件事 -为什么 |
| [08:18] | Because a couple years ago, Violet locked herself | 因为几年之前 Violet就把她自己 |
| [08:20] | in a bathroom very much like this one. | 锁在一个跟这个很像的洗手间里了 |
| [08:22] | Actually, it was this one, | 实际上 就是这个洗手间 |
| [08:24] | and the mechanism to pop the lock | 而且把锁从外面打开 |
| [08:26] | from the outside was broken. | 的装置也坏掉了 |
| [08:27] | You knew the lock was broken? | 你早知道这锁不好使了 |
| [08:28] | Can we save all of our questions till the end, please? | 咱们能把这些问题都留到最后吗 |
| [08:30] | Great. | 很好 |
| [08:32] | The difference was that Violet | 区别就在于当时的Violet |
| [08:33] | was old enough to open the door from the inside, | 已经长到能够从里面把门打开了 |
| [08:35] | and I told Emily that I was gonna get the lock fixed, | 而且我跟Emily说我会把锁修好的 |
| [08:37] | and then I forgot. | 但之后我就忘了 |
| [08:38] | And if she ever finds out about this, | 如果她发现了这件事情 |
| [08:40] | – she’s gonna hold it against me for the rest of my life. – Hey | – 在我的余生里 她都会用这件事来对付我的 – 嘿 |
| [08:43] | You choose to lie to your wife, that’s your problem. | 你选择跟你老婆撒谎 那是你的问题 |
| [08:46] | Gary, she’s never gonna let me swing Freddie around | Gary 她永远都不会让我再拿着Freddie的小胳膊 |
| [08:48] | by his little arms again. | 给他荡秋千了 |
| [08:49] | His arms could come out of the sockets! | 他的胳膊会脱臼的 |
| [08:51] | That’s not gonna happen. | 肯定不会的 |
| [08:52] | Look, okay, you’re gonna owe me… | 好吧 这次你会欠我 |
| [08:54] | I-I mean, big-time owe me. | 我的意思是 你欠我个大人情 |
| [08:56] | You’re gonna have to wash my high chairs. | 你必须得把我的高脚椅洗干净 |
| [08:58] | I mean, deep-clean them, like, take the covers off. | 我是说 深层清洁 就像要把外面的漆洗掉一样 |
| [09:01] | Yes. Done. Thank you. | 好的 成交了 谢谢你 |
| [09:04] | Unbelievable. | 简直不敢相信 |
| [09:05] | You knew the lock was broken, | 你早就知道这锁坏了 |
| [09:06] | and you still didn’t get it fixed. | 然后你仍然不把它修好 |
| [09:08] | You know, Chris, uh, a couple years ago, | 是这么回事 Chris 嗯 几年以前 |
| [09:10] | I did make a phone call to a guy about getting the lock fixed, | 我的确是给一个男的打电话让他来修锁了 |
| [09:12] | but, uh, you clicked in on the other line, | 但是 呃 你在另一条线上打过来了 |
| [09:15] | and I chose to take your call instead. | 然后我选择了接你的电话 |
| [09:18] | And I hoped like hell I’d never have to tell you about that. | 然后我真的希望我永远都不用告诉你这件事情 |
| [09:21] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
| [09:23] | Where the hell is the maintenance guy? | 修理工在哪个鬼地方了 |
| [09:24] | You know what? We don’t even need him. | 好吧 我们甚至都不需要他 |
| [09:26] | It’s fine. We don’t need him. | 没错 我们不需要他 |
| [09:29] | Ooh! | 噢 |
| [09:30] | What was that? | 你干什么 |
| [09:33] | I thought maybe this is one of those times | 我以为这时候应该是那种 |
| [09:34] | when a parent develops hulk strength. | 家长会爆发出绿巨人一样力量的时候了 |
| [09:37] | – Did you? – No. | -你做到了吗 -不 |
| [09:39] | – No, you didn’t. No. | -嗯 你没有 没有 |
| [09:44] | Dad! Emily threw away all of our play-doh! | 爸爸 Emily把我们所有的培乐多都扔了(一种类似橡皮泥玩具的品牌) |
| [09:47] | It’s a bloodbath! | 简直是大屠杀 |
| [09:49] | What? Come here. | 啥 过来 |
| [09:50] | Marny, I know this has been hard for you, | Marny 我知道整理东西这种事对你来说很难 |
| [09:52] | -but you have been great. -Thanks. | -但是你表现的很好 -谢谢 |
| [09:56] | You know, I actually feel lighter and clearer, | 你说怎么着 我真的觉得少了一些负担 多了些洁净 |
| [09:58] | – if you know what I mean. – I do! | -如果你懂我说的意思的话 -我懂 |
| [10:01] | I do know what you mean! | 我当然能知道你的意思 |
| [10:03] | Now, you’re gonna want to chase that organizational high | 现在 你就会想去追求 |
| [10:05] | for the rest of your life! | 你以后生活中的这种整理快感 |
| [10:08] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:11] | Well, I guess it’s time for me to go home, | 好吧 我猜是时候该回家了 |
| [10:13] | because my job here is done. | 因为我在这儿的工作已经搞定咯 |
| [10:15] | Whoa, whoa. No, you can’t go home just yet. | 等等 等等 你还不能回家 |
| [10:17] | – Why not? – Because Nick… | -为啥 -因为Nick他 |
| [10:22] | because I’m still hiding all my old files | 因为我还藏着所有对我 |
| [10:24] | and things that are still special to me. | 有特别意义的老文件和其他东西 |
| [10:31] | Help me. I’m a hoarder. | 快帮帮我 我简直是个囤积户 |
| [10:38] | I can fix it, no problem… | 没事 我可以解决 |
| [10:41] | If some genius hadn’t taken the doorknob off. | 前提是某个天才没把这门把手拧走了的话 |
| [10:45] | You? | 是你吗 |
| [10:47] | Well, you know, that could’ve been anyone, really. | 呃 其实这有可能是任何人做的 |
| [10:50] | So there’s nothing you can do? | 所以你也是束手无策吗 |
| [10:52] | It’s really a lock problem. | 这是个门锁的问题啊 |
| [10:53] | You should’ve called a locksmith. | 你们应该找一锁匠 |
| [10:55] | Who’s the genius who called me… you? | 哪个天才叫我来的 也是你吗 |
| [10:59] | Actually, that was Chris. | 事实上这次是Chris |
| [11:01] | I don’t need to know your names. | 我不需要知道你叫啥名儿 |
| [11:04] | Thank you so much, Victor, for coming by. | 谢谢你过来 Victor |
| [11:06] | We will factor all of this into your Christmas bonus. | 我们会把这个加到你的圣诞节奖金上的 |
| [11:08] | Bonus? | 奖金 |
| [11:10] | Oh, you mean the donation you made in my name | 噢 你是说你以我名头向 |
| [11:12] | to the rock and roll museum? | 那摇滚博物馆捐的钱吗 |
| [11:14] | That’s our charity. | 那是我们慈善机构嘛 |
| [11:18] | That does not sound good. | 这不是什么好声音耶 |
| [11:21] | Oh, okay, now they’re playing in toilet water! | 哎呀 他们在玩马桶里的水 |
| [11:23] | All right, well, you don’t have to make it sound | 好吧 但你不要把它搞得听上去 |
| [11:24] | like a bad thing. | 是一件坏事 |
| [11:25] | They’re… they’re playing in toilet water! | 他们 他们在玩马桶里的水耶 |
| [11:28] | See, it’s all in the attitude. | 看吧 这都是态度问题 |
| [11:29] | -You just… you need to relax… -Do not tell me to relax! | -你得 你得放轻松 -别叫我放轻松 |
| [11:33] | Okay, you know why I’m not relaxed? | 好吧 你知道为什么我放松不下来吗 |
| [11:35] | Because I’ve hung out with you all these years. | 因为我这些年都是和你在一起 |
| [11:37] | Oh, why should I bring diapers? Chris’ll have them. | 噢 为什么我还要带尿片啊 Chris会带啊 |
| [11:40] | Why should I take notes in class? Chris’ll do it. | 为什么我上课还要记笔记 Chris会记啊 |
| [11:42] | Why should I pay rent? | 为什么我要交房租啊 |
| [11:43] | I’ll sleep on Chris’ couch for a year after college, | 毕业后我能在Chris家的沙发上睡一年啊 |
| [11:47] | chip all his mugs. | 把他的便宜都占尽了 |
| [11:50] | I will call a locksmith. Calm down. | 我会打电话叫锁匠来 冷静一下 |
| [11:52] | No, you know what? I’m done listening to you, okay? | 不 告诉你 我再也不听你的了 好吧 |
| [11:54] | Our kids are locked in a bathroom, | 我们的孩子被反锁在洗手间里 |
| [11:56] | and I’m getting them out right now. | 我现在就要把他们救出来 |
| [11:58] | Yeah, by the way, I still have your hammer. | 嗯 顺便告诉你一声 我还留着你的锤子没还 |
| [12:03] | All right, I’m gonna… I’m gonna make a hole in the wall. | 算了 我要 我要在墙上打个洞 |
| [12:05] | I’m gonna reach in. | 然后伸手进去 |
| [12:06] | I’m gonna have the kids pass me the handle. | 然后让孩子们把我的手放到门把手上 |
| [12:07] | I’m gonna pop the lock back on and open it from the inside. | 然后我再把锁拨回原位 从里面把门打开 |
| [12:09] | I’m sorry. What? | 啊 你说什么 |
| [12:10] | Don’t worry, Ernie. Daddy’s coming. | Ernie 不要怕 爸爸来救你了 |
| [12:12] | Hey, are you crazy? | 喂 你是不是疯了 |
| [12:15] | Right now? Yes! | 现在吗 没错 |
| [12:18] | What am I supposed to tell Emily? | 那我怎么向Emily交代 |
| [12:20] | Tell her to rela-a-x! | 叫她 放 轻 松 啊 |
| [12:23] | Hey, hey, hey, I can’t hold your wife off much longer. | 喂 喂 喂 我快拦不住你老婆了 |
| [12:26] | -What’s going on? -He freaked out. | -发生什么了 -他吓疯了 |
| [12:28] | He’s screwing up my apartment. | 他正把我房子搞得一团糟 |
| [12:30] | Well, you are screwing up my life, | 而你正把我的人生搞得一团糟 |
| [12:33] | which I’m used to, except that now you’re screwing up my kid. | 那我可以忍 现在你把我的孩子搞得一团糟就不行了 |
| [12:35] | Hey, hey, hey, guys! | 嘿 嘿 嘿 伙计们 |
| [12:36] | Calm down before we say something we can’t take back. | 在我们说一些覆水难收的话之前 先冷静一下 |
| [12:38] | You don’t need my help screwing up your kid, | 你不需要我帮你把你孩子的生活搞得一团糟 |
| [12:40] | ’cause you’re doing just fine on your own. | 因为你自己一个就能把这活干好了 |
| [12:41] | Yeah, you’re turning Ernie | 没错 你自己就会把Ernie |
| [12:43] | into an uptight mess just like yourself. | 搞成一个像你一样容易精神紧张的东西 |
| [12:44] | Well, I guarantee Freddie’s | 好吧 我保证是Freddie |
| [12:46] | the one who locked them in the bathroom | 把他们反锁在洗手间里的 |
| [12:47] | doing dumb-ass stuff like his dumb-ass dad. | 跟他笨蛋爸爸一样做一些笨蛋事 |
| [12:50] | Okay, let’s not say more than three things | 好了 不要说出超过三句 |
| [12:51] | that we can’t take back… let’s cap it at three. | 覆水难收的话 绝对不能超过三句啊 |
| [12:54] | I am done listening to you. | 我再也不会听你的了 |
| [12:57] | Ahhh… | 啊 |
| [12:58] | okay. | 好了 |
| [13:00] | I’m gonna reach in, and get this handle back on, | 我要把手伸进去 然后把门上的插销拨回去 |
| [13:02] | and get the hell out of here. | 然后马上离开这儿 |
| [13:04] | Ow. Damn it! | 哎呀 天杀的 |
| [13:06] | – What’s wrong? – I can’t get my arm out. | -怎么啦 -我的手拔不出来了 |
| [13:08] | It’s stuck on a nail or something. | 被卡在一个钉子还是什么东西上了 |
| [13:11] | Good! | 好嘞 |
| [13:12] | Oh, what’s the matter? Your little t-Rex arms | 噢 怎么了 你的霸王龙小短手 |
| [13:14] | too short to get me, huh? | 太短碰不到我了 是吗 |
| [13:15] | Ah! | 哎呀 |
| [13:18] | I misjudged the distance ’cause I have no peripheral vision. | 我错估这距离就是因为我没有周边视觉 |
| [13:27] | You know, guys, I think this will go a lot faster | 伙计们 我觉得如果直接把他的手砍下来 |
| [13:28] | if you just cut his arm off. | 那会快得多 |
| [13:32] | Oh, thank you. Thank you. | 噢 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [13:33] | Now… now, please, get the kids out. | 求求你们马上把孩子救出来吧 |
| [13:35] | – All right. – And may I suggest doing | -好的 -我建议你们尽可能多拆拆 |
| [13:36] | as much damage to the apartment as possible? | 这间房子 |
| [13:38] | Just give us some room. | 躲开点 |
| [13:39] | We’ll have them out in a couple minutes. | 几分钟就能把孩子救出来了 |
| [13:40] | Hey, I have a couple questions. | 嘿 问问你们啊 |
| [13:42] | Hey, when you got the call, did you slide down the pole? | 你们收到报警电话后 是从那杆上滑下来吗 |
| [13:45] | Did you use the siren? | 你们用了警笛了吗 |
| [13:46] | I don’t see the dog. Is the dog here? | 我没看见狗在这 警犬带过来了吗 |
| [13:48] | – Sir, please, just step back. – Okay. | -先生 麻烦你退后点 -好吧 |
| [13:50] | Hey, hey, I hear you guys eat a lot of chili… is that true? | 喂喂 我听说你们吃很多辣椒 真的吗 |
| [13:57] | Thank God you’re okay. | 上帝保佑 你没事 |
| [14:00] | I don’t want you hanging out with this kid anymore. | 我可不想你再和那孩子一块儿玩 |
| [14:01] | He’s gonna get you both thrown in jail. | 他会害得你们俩一块儿坐牢的 |
| [14:03] | Well, at least he won’t be a constant bummer like your dad. | 他起码不会像你老爸那样终日无所事事 |
| [14:06] | “We shouldn’t use the student discounts… it’s summertime”! | 我们可不能再享受这学生折扣啊 现在可是夏天 |
| [14:10] | You know what? I’m done. I’m done taking care of you. | 你说怎么着 我受不了了 我不会照顾你了 |
| [14:13] | You don’t want to be friends | 你不想和一个终日无所事事的家伙 |
| [14:14] | with someone who’s a constant bummer? | 做朋友吗 |
| [14:15] | -Guess what… you’re not anymore. -Good! | -你猜怎么这 你再也不是我朋友了 -好啊 |
| [14:19] | Yeah… | 嗯 |
| [14:20] | We never used to fight before we had kids. | 我们在有孩子之前从来不吵架 |
| [14:23] | But that’s not a dis on you. | 我可不是在说你不好啊 |
| [14:24] | I love you. | 我爱你啊 |
| [14:26] | It’s okay. | 没事咯 |
| [14:34] | Nick Nick? | |
| [14:35] | Yeah, he’s… | 嗯 他 |
| [14:36] | he did it. | 他干的 |
| [14:45] | – Is he strapped in? – No, he doesn’t like that. | -捆好他了吗 -不行 他不喜欢这样 |
| [14:47] | He’ll be fine. | 他不会有事的 |
| [14:49] | Oh, just like he was fine | 噢 就像你 |
| [14:50] | when you locked him in the bathroom? | 把他锁在洗手间里那种没事吗 |
| [14:53] | See, Freddie, I am never gonna live this down, | 看吧 Freddie 我永远都不会过了这个坎 |
| [14:55] | and because of that, we will probably never be able to play | 正因如此 我们以后也玩不了 |
| [14:57] | the “Let go of the stroller for a second on the hill” Game. | 在山丘上试着把婴儿车松开一秒钟的游戏了 |
| [15:01] | – You’re still doing that? – No! Ha! | -你还这么干呢吗 -没啊 哈 |
| [15:04] | All right, well, have fun at the park | 没事的 我在这修你的公寓 |
| [15:06] | while I’m here fixing your apartment. | 你们去公园里玩儿 |
| [15:10] | Yeah, thank you, Victor, for taking time away | 是啊 真感激你啊 Victor 从你的工作时间抽出来 |
| [15:12] | from your job to do your job. | 做你岗位分内的事 |
| [15:14] | Who’s smoking cigarettes for you up on the roof | 你在下面 |
| [15:16] | while you’re down here? | 那谁在屋顶上替你抽烟呢 |
| [15:18] | Don’t get mad at Victor. | 别对Victor乱生气啊 |
| [15:19] | You’re the one who destroyed our apartment. | 你才是毁我们房子的人 |
| [15:21] | Me? Okay, try Chris. | 我吗 好吧 为什么不说是Chris |
| [15:23] | He’s the one who went crazy and put a hole in our wall. | 他才是那个发疯 往墙上打洞的人 |
| [15:26] | No, Nick. He didn’t go crazy. | 不 Nick 他才没疯 |
| [15:28] | You made him crazy. | 是你让他发疯的 |
| [15:30] | I’m sorry. Are you taking his side? | 不好意思 你现在是要站在他那边吗 |
| [15:31] | There is only his side. | 这就只有他那边说得通啊 |
| [15:34] | Nick, everything you do, you always try to make it fun. | Nick 你做的每件事情 你总是试着让他更有趣 |
| [15:38] | It’s what I love about you, | 我就爱着你这点 |
| [15:40] | but you have to know that sometimes | 但是你也得知道 |
| [15:41] | it can be very exhausting to the people around you. | 有时候你身边的人可能会非常受不了这一点 |
| [15:46] | Now, I’m your wife, and you make cute babies, | 现在嘛 因为我是你老婆 你又帮我生了可爱的宝宝 |
| [15:48] | so I put up with it, and I forgive it, | 所以我忍了 并原谅你了 |
| [15:51] | but Chris doesn’t have to. | 可是Chris不需要这么做啊 |
| [15:53] | So I’m the one who owes the apology. | 那就是说我得道歉咯 |
| [15:56] | Yes, because it’s all your fault. | 是的 因为这都是你的错 |
| [16:00] | I’ll go talk to him. | 我去找他谈谈咯 |
| [16:03] | Sure. | 对啊 |
| [16:03] | Go play with your friend while I fix your place. | 我修你的房子 你去和你的朋友玩儿吧 |
| [16:07] | That’s your job. | 那是你的工作 |
| [16:08] | Yeah, and I love my job, | 嗯哼 我爱死我的工作了 |
| [16:10] | which is more than you can say. | 比你说的还要爱的更多 |
| [16:12] | I have the greatest job in the world. | 我干的是世界上最好的工作 |
| [16:13] | I direct commercials. I love my job. | 我是导演广告 我爱我的工作 |
| [16:16] | Oh. | 噢 |
| [16:21] | And the secret ingredient is… | 这秘密配料就是 |
| [16:23] | Uhh! Pear! | 啊哈 梨子 |
| [16:28] | Hey! | 嘿 |
| [16:30] | I found something very interesting | 我找到一些硬生生塞在Clark和Yoda衣柜后面 |
| [16:33] | shoved in the back of Clark and Yoda’s closet… | 的很让人感兴趣的东西哦 |
| [16:37] | all of your stuff that we threw away. | 是你所有被我们扔掉的东西 |
| [16:40] | You know, the boys must’ve done this. | 你知道的嘛 这肯定是小伙子们干的 |
| [16:43] | You know how much kids | 你知道孩子们 |
| [16:44] | love commercial real estate promotional material. | 有多喜欢这些房产推销广告的嘛 |
| [16:46] | Mm. | 就是 |
| [16:48] | Gary, look, I know I didn’t want to throw away | Gary 我知道我不想扔掉 |
| [16:51] | all the old baby stuff, but that’s just a mom thing. | 这些以前的婴儿东西 不过这就是一个母亲该做的啊 |
| [16:55] | But you… | 可是你 |
| [16:56] | Your business cards, your briefcase… | 你的名片 公文包 |
| [17:01] | What’s going on? | 究竟是怎么回事啊 |
| [17:02] | Look, babe, I know it’s hard to believe, | 亲爱的 听着 这是挺难以置信的 |
| [17:03] | but one day all of our kids | 但是终有一天我们的孩子 |
| [17:05] | are gonna be in school full-time… | 会整天地去上学 |
| [17:08] | Maybe even boarding school | 甚至是好远好远的 |
| [17:09] | somewhere far, far away! | 寄宿学校 |
| [17:13] | And I’m gonna need something to do. | 那时候我觉得我得有些事情干 |
| [17:16] | And I feel if I throw out all that stuff, | 我觉得如果我都把这些东西扔了 |
| [17:19] | somehow, I’m throwing out | 某种意义上来说 我觉得我是 |
| [17:21] | all my connections to my old life… | 在扔掉我跟以前生活的联系 |
| [17:24] | And I won’t be able to find my way back. | 而且我再也没办法找到回去的路了 |
| [17:27] | All right, I know it sounds stupid. | 好吧 我知道这听上去很傻 |
| [17:31] | Yeah. | 的确 |
| [17:34] | Gary, you were great at your job. | Gary 你把你的工作干得很出色啊 |
| [17:37] | You are great as a stay-at-home dad, | 你是一个非常好的家庭老爸 |
| [17:40] | and I have absolutely no doubt that you will be great | 所以我敢肯定的是 你接下来打算做什么 |
| [17:43] | at whatever you decide to do next. | 都会做的非常好 |
| [17:46] | So… | 那么 |
| [17:48] | Do I get to keep all my old stuff? | 我能保住我那些旧玩意吗 |
| [17:50] | If that’s what you need to do. | 如果你需要这么做的话 |
| [17:53] | Can we keep our stuff? | 我们可以保住我们的东西吗 |
| [17:56] | No! | 绝不可以 |
| [18:09] | What do you want? | 你要干嘛 |
| [18:10] | I am not here for you. I am here to speak with Ernie. | 我不是在找你的 我是来找Ernie的 |
| [18:12] | May I please enter? | 请问我可以进门吗 |
| [18:24] | Hi, Ernie. | 你好 Ernie |
| [18:26] | I, uh… | 我 那个 |
| [18:29] | I just came down here to apologize. | 我是来道歉的 |
| [18:32] | I, uh… | 我 呃 |
| [18:33] | I’m very sorry that I alone | 我很抱歉 是我把你们 |
| [18:34] | was the cause of you getting trapped in the bathroom. | 都困在洗手间里的 |
| [18:38] | I also said some things that I didn’t mean. | 我还说了一些言不由衷的话 |
| [18:41] | You are not going to be a constant bummer like your dad. | 你不会变成一个和你老爸一样终日无所事事的人 |
| [18:44] | If anything, he’s very responsible, | 有一点 他非常负责 |
| [18:47] | and that’s… that’s good, because that means | 这很好 因为也就是说 |
| [18:49] | that he’s there for me when I need him. | 每当我需要他的时候他总能出现 |
| [18:52] | If it weren’t for him, your buddy Freddie over there | 如果不是有你爸的话 你的好伙伴Freddie |
| [18:54] | would’ve died of diaper rash a long time ago, | 早就死于纸尿片引起的尿疹了 |
| [18:56] | and I would be covered in Mario brother tattoos, so… | 而我就会全身都是马里奥兄弟纹身 所以 |
| [19:00] | I just wanted to tell you that, | 我就是想来告诉你这点事 |
| [19:02] | and, uh, maybe your dad has something | 另外 呃 或者你爸也有些话 |
| [19:06] | he’d like to say to Freddie? | 想对Freddie说 |
| [19:14] | Hey, Fred. | 嘿 Fred |
| [19:18] | Uh… | 那个 |
| [19:20] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [19:22] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [19:24] | I know I said, uh, that you’re gonna end up in prison, | 我知道我说过 说你长大最终会坐牢 |
| [19:27] | but if you’re anything like your dad, | 要是你有什么地方像你爸爸的话 |
| [19:29] | it’ll be one hell of a story. | 那你可有的说了 |
| [19:31] | Montreal, new year’s Eve, 2001. | 2001年 除夕夜 蒙特利尔 |
| [19:34] | Yeah. Apparently we took a mountie’s horse | 是啊 我们牵走了一匹骑警的马 |
| [19:37] | for a joyride, | 兜了个圈 |
| [19:38] | woke up in a Canadian jail. | 醒来却在加拿大的监狱里 |
| [19:41] | They had the best breakfast buffet there. | 他们那有世界上最好的自助早餐 |
| [19:42] | We stayed for three extra days, made a whole trip out of it. | 我们多留了三天 完整的游览了一下 |
| [19:45] | It was good. | 爽赞了 |
| [19:48] | I hope you and Ernie have as much fun together | 我希望你跟Ernie也能像你的爸爸和我一样 |
| [19:51] | as your dad and I have had… | 玩得那么开心 |
| [19:53] | Without all the boating accidents, | 除了所有的乘船意外 |
| [19:55] | the torn acls, the lost security deposits. | 前交叉韧带撕裂 押金丢失 |
| [19:59] | It should say on the hot tub | 谁都知道 |
| [20:01] | that you can’t bring it out onto a balcony. | 不能把一个热气腾腾的大浴缸装在阳台上 |
| [20:04] | So, um… | 那么 呃 |
| [20:06] | What do you say, Ernie? | Ernie 你怎么看 |
| [20:09] | You forgive me? | 你肯原谅我吗 |
| [20:15] | Thank you. | 谢了 |
| [20:25] | Come here, buddy. | 过来 伙计 |
| [20:33] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [20:34] | We forgive you. | 我们原谅你了 |
| [20:38] | But this Christmas, you are not making a donation | 不过今年圣诞 你不能以他的名字 |
| [20:40] | in his name to the rock and roll museum. | 捐款到那摇滚博物馆 |
| [20:43] | I mean, I’ll have to talk to Emily, but… | 我得和Emily谈一下 不过 |
| [20:53] | Okay, come on, guys. Whose baby did it? | 好了 来吧 大伙 谁的孩子干的 |
| [20:57] | – Not it. – Not it over here. | -不是这 -也不是这 |
| [20:59] | Oh, my God, we are so it. | 天呐 肯定是我们啊 |
| [21:02] | – Here’s a diaper. – Uh, buh, buh, buh… | -这尿片 拿着 -哇 不 不 不 |
| [21:04] | you offend me, sir. | 你冒犯了我 先生 |
| [21:05] | I have fully packed my diaper bag. | 我已经充分地准备好了我的尿布包 |
| [21:07] | No. Impossible. | 哇 难以想象啊 |
| [21:09] | I got diapers, wipes, ointment, sunscreen, | 我有尿片 抹布 软膏 防晒乳 |
| [21:12] | teething tablets, burp cloths. | 出牙片 饱嗝布 |
| [21:14] | I, too, can be the responsible one. | 我 也能当个有责任心的爸爸 |
| [21:15] | – Well, lookee here! – Way to go. | -哇 看看他 -棒极了 |
| [21:18] | Unfortunately, the diaper bag itself | 不幸的是 尿布包 |
| [21:19] | is at home in my apartment… | 在我家里呢 |
| [21:22] | As is my wallet. Chris, your paying for lunch! | 还有我的钱包 Chris 这顿你付吧 |