| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Guys with kids is taped in front of a live studio audience. | 奶爸当家是在现场录影棚观众观看下录制完成的 |
| [00:14] | Gary Gary? | |
| [00:22] | I hurt everywhere. | 我全身都疼死了 |
| [00:25] | Marny, last night, I fell asleep on the floor | Marny 昨晚我在地板上睡着了 |
| [00:27] | and used a rotisserie chicken as a pillow. | 还把一只迷迭香烧鸡当成了枕头 |
| [00:31] | What did we do? | 我们都干嘛了 |
| [00:33] | Last thing I remember, | 我记得的最后一件事 |
| [00:35] | I– I climbed the Christmas tree, | 是我爬上圣诞树 |
| [00:36] | and when it fell over, I tried to ride it like a bull. | 然后它倒下来的时候我试着把它当成公牛一样骑 |
| [00:42] | Oh, Gary. | 噢 Gary |
| [00:45] | Gary Gary. | |
| [00:48] | Huh? | 啊 |
| [00:48] | I think I’m gonna die. | 我觉得我快死了 |
| [00:50] | Where are our children? | 孩子们都哪去了 |
| [00:54] | Oh, I’m pretty sure we left them with Nick and Emily. | 哦 我非常确定 我们把他们留在Nick和Emily那里了 |
| [00:57] | Oh, come on, baby, these are things we should know. | 噢 来吧 宝贝 这些才是我们该知道的事情 |
| [00:59] | No. No, no, no. | 不 不 不 不 |
| [01:01] | We went over there last night to pick them up, | 我们昨晚去过他们那儿接孩子了 |
| [01:03] | and they said that they would keep them. | 他们说 他们会照看他们的 |
| [01:06] | Oh, my God. | 噢 天呐 |
| [01:08] | Oh, I hope we didn’t embarrass ourselves. | 噢 我希望我们没丢人现眼 |
| [01:10] | Oh, impossible. | 哦 不可能 |
| [01:12] | I don’t get drunk. | 哥没有醉 |
| [01:15] | I get awesome. | 哥酷毙了 |
| [01:21] | Hold on! | 等一下 |
| [01:26] | Here are your children. | 这是你们的孩子 |
| [01:28] | Here is your bra. | 这是你的胸罩 |
| [01:35] | Uh, can I get you guys some coffee or something? | 呃 你们要喝咖啡还是什么 |
| [01:37] | After what happened last night? | 经过昨晚发生的事情之后 |
| [01:38] | We are so not talking to you. | 我们肯定不会再和你们说话了 |
| [01:41] | Awesome! | 太棒了 |
| [01:42] | Someone threw up in my bed! | 有人吐我床上咯 |
| [01:48] | When are Nick and Emily coming? | Nick跟Emily什么时候到 |
| [01:50] | Emily’s bringing the crackers, all I have is cheese. | Emily带薄脆饼干来 而我只有芝士 |
| [01:52] | This is madness. | 真是一团糟 |
| [01:54] | They should be here any minute. | 他们随时就到 |
| [01:55] | They were just taking their Christmas card picture. | 他们在照圣诞卡照片 |
| [01:56] | You know, last year they were dressed | 你知道的 去年他们穿得像 |
| [01:58] | as reindeer pulling Santa’s sleigh | 帮圣诞老人拉雪橇的麋鹿 |
| [01:59] | with a caption that read, | 还附带个说明写着 |
| [02:00] | “It’s raining deer. | “现在在下雨呢小鹿 |
| [02:02] | Hallelujah, it’s raining deer.” | 哈利路亚 现在在下雨呢小鹿 “ |
| [02:05] | There is no way they can sustain that level of cuteness. | 他们绝不可能继续保持那么可爱了 |
| [02:09] | Hi, everyone! | 大家好 |
| [02:12] | Yet they do. | 但是他们可以 |
| [02:42] | I know there’s been some talk | 我知道有些人说 |
| [02:43] | that I could not pull off green velvet. | 我穿绿色天鹅绒不好看 |
| [02:46] | I think we can all agree | 那么我觉得我们可以一致认为 |
| [02:47] | I’ve put those rumors to rest. | 我已经能让那些谣言歇菜了 |
| [02:50] | Hi, sorry I’m late. | 不好意思我晚了 |
| [02:52] | I was just trying to finish up my holiday shopping. | 我只是想搞定我的节日购物 |
| [02:54] | Shopping. Huh. | 购物 啊 |
| [02:56] | I thought you just stole all the presents out of Whoville. | 我还以为你把呼呼城里面所有的礼物都偷光了呢 |
| [03:00] | So pimp, leprechaun, or both? | 那么皮条客 爱尔兰妖精 还是都是呢 |
| [03:06] | Remember what we got each other last year? | 记得我们去年送给了对方什么吗 |
| [03:09] | – I do, a divorce. – Yeah. | -我记得 离婚嘛 -没错 |
| [03:13] | Oh, okay. Tell it again, Chris. Please? | 噢 好了 Chris 再说一遍 好吗 |
| [03:15] | Okay, I will set the stage. | 好的 我来说一下故事前提 |
| [03:17] | They just had a baby, | 他们刚生了一个宝宝 |
| [03:18] | hoping it would repair their marriage. | 希望这个宝宝会修复这段婚姻 |
| [03:19] | It didn’t. | 可惜没有 |
| [03:21] | And…Go. | 然后 继续 |
| [03:26] | I remember it like it was yesterday. | 我对这事真是记忆犹新 就像昨天发生的一样 |
| [03:27] | We were getting ready for my office Christmas party. | 我们在为我的办公室圣诞派对做准备 |
| [03:30] | You were complaining about how you hated my tie. | 你当时在抱怨 说你有多讨厌我的领带 |
| [03:32] | Yes. | 没错 |
| [03:33] | Grinding my spirit down to a fine powder. | 把我的灵魂都磨成了细粉末 |
| [03:37] | And then Sheila said… | 然后Sheila说 |
| [03:39] | – If that’s the way you feel– – No, no, no. | -如果你是这样觉得的话 -不 不 不 |
| [03:41] | I do a much better you than you, apparently. | 很显然 我扮演的你比你扮演你自己好多了 |
| [03:44] | If that’s the way you feel… | 如果你是这么觉得的话 |
| [03:49] | Then maybe we just shouldn’t be together. | 那么也许我们不该在一起了 |
| [03:53] | -Nick -Nick – Nick! – Nick! | |
| [03:56] | But your divorce | 但是你的离婚 |
| [03:58] | was the best Christmas gift of all time. | 是有史以来最棒的圣诞礼物 |
| [04:00] | Except for the Christmas gift you got me last year. | 除了你去年给我的那份圣诞礼物 |
| [04:03] | He saved a memento of every date we’ve ever been on, | 他保留了我们曾经每次约会的一样纪念品 |
| [04:06] | and he made me a scrapbook of them. | 然后给我做了一个纪念簿 |
| [04:08] | So romantic. | 好浪漫哦 |
| [04:10] | He’s so desperate. | 他真是没希望了 |
| [04:13] | You jest, Big G, but don’t look too deeply into my eyes | 胖Gary 你就开玩笑吧 不过请别凝视我的目光 |
| [04:16] | because you may just fall in love. | 因为你可能会深深地爱上我 |
| [04:19] | Well, Gary and I definitely went all-out | Gary和我今年绝对是 |
| [04:22] | with our present to each other this year. | 绞尽脑汁地思考了送给对方的礼物 |
| [04:24] | Oh, my God, you guys | 噢 天呐 你们俩 |
| [04:25] | are finally taking that trip to Paris? | 终于要去巴黎旅游了吗 |
| [04:27] | Better. | 比这更好 |
| [04:29] | We got a new dishwasher! | 我们买了一台新的洗碗机 |
| [04:31] | Come see, come see! | 来看看 来看看 |
| [04:33] | Oh, I’ll just see from afar. | 噢 我远远地看就成 |
| [04:37] | Shh, listen, listen, it’s running right now. | 嘘 听 听 它正运转着呢 |
| [04:39] | – You can’t even hear it. – Oh. | -你甚至都听不到噪声 -哦 |
| [04:41] | I can hear it. | 我可以听到 |
| [04:43] | What? | 什么 |
| [04:44] | Well, I have, like, super hearing, yeah. | 那个 我有 呃 超级听觉 嗯 |
| [04:47] | During college, | 大学的时候 |
| [04:48] | at my one-man show, Chris: Just a guy, | 我有个单人节目叫 Chris 只是一个普通人 |
| [04:51] | I was actually able to hear somebody | 我真切地能听到有人 |
| [04:53] | all the way in the back row whisper, “Wonderful.” | 在后排小声说 “太棒了” |
| [04:58] | But this isn’t romantic. | 可这不浪漫啊 |
| [05:00] | Oh, the thought of not having to rinse everything | 噢 一想到不必在放进洗碗机前 |
| [05:03] | before putting it in the dishwasher? | 把所有东西都漂洗一遍 |
| [05:06] | That gets me hot. | 真是让我热血沸腾啊 |
| [05:08] | No, this stops now. | 不 给我停下 |
| [05:10] | I am staging an intervention. | 我要筹划一次干预 |
| [05:12] | My Christmas present to you guys this year | 我今年要给你们的圣诞礼物 |
| [05:13] | is to help you spice up your marriage. | 就是让你们的婚姻热火重生 |
| [05:15] | Well, thank you, | 好吧 谢了 |
| [05:16] | – but we’re fine. – Mm-hmm. | -可是我们好好的啊 -嗯哼 |
| [05:18] | Hey, you know, guys, I still have a couple DVD copies | 嘿 伙计们听着 我还留着一些我的表演 |
| [05:20] | of my one-man show, Chris: Just a guy. | 单人节目 Chris 只是一个普通人 的DVD |
| [05:24] | We should make a night of it. | 我们应该看一晚 |
| [05:25] | Yeah, the Daily Northwestern called it “Unnecessary.” | 没错 西北日报称之为 “不必要” |
| [05:34] | Oh, good, the idiot’s not here. | 好嘞 那笨蛋不在 |
| [05:36] | Oh, yes, he is! | 好嘞 俺在 |
| [05:40] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [05:41] | Look, after dinner, I started thinking | 听着 晚餐之后 我就开始回想 |
| [05:43] | about how it’s been a year since we decided to get divorced, | 我们决定离婚之后这一年是怎么过来的 |
| [05:46] | and, well, I think it’s only right | 然后 我觉得只有我把 |
| [05:49] | if I give you back our engagement ring. | 订婚戒指还给你才是正确的做法 |
| [05:51] | Oh, great. | 哇 好极了 |
| [05:52] | Now we have to travel to Mordor | 现在我们不得不去魔铎 |
| [05:54] | and throw it in the fires of Mount Doom. | 把它扔到厄运火山的烈焰中 |
| [05:57] | But, Sheila, I gave it to you | 但是 Sheila 我把它给你 |
| [05:59] | as a symbol of my undying love, | 是让它作为我对你不灭之爱的象征 |
| [06:01] | which died. | 虽然它已经死了 |
| [06:04] | Chris, just take it. | Chris 就拿着嘛 |
| [06:06] | You know I always win. | 你知道我总是赢的那个 |
| [06:07] | You’re gonna wind up with it eventually. | 最终你还是会拿着它的 |
| [06:09] | Not taking it, Sheila. | 恕难从命 Sheila |
| [06:12] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [06:13] | I will be the mature one and keep the ring. | 我就做那个成熟的人留着这戒指 |
| [06:16] | Think fast. No backsies. | 快点想 不能退还 |
| [06:20] | You give me that ring, Frodo. | 佛罗多 把戒指给我 |
| [06:22] | It’s much too powerful. | 这力量太大了 |
| [06:27] | Hey, guys. | 嘿 伙计们 |
| [06:29] | Violet, go have fun. | Violet 去玩吧 |
| [06:31] | Don’t play with those little punks | 别跟那些向滑梯上面爬的 |
| [06:32] | who climb up the slide. | 小流氓玩儿 |
| [06:34] | So what did you guys do last night? | 你们昨晚做什么了 |
| [06:36] | Actually, you’ll like this. | 事实上 你们会喜欢这样的 |
| [06:38] | – We had a little bit of a date. – Yeah. | -我们来了个小约会 -正是 |
| [06:41] | We sat in bed and read to each other. Happy? | 我们坐在床上给对方念故事 高兴了吗 |
| [06:44] | Aw, I love that. | 噢 好喜欢呐 |
| [06:45] | What did you guys read? | 你们念的都是什么 |
| [06:46] | The dishwasher manual. | 洗碗机用户指南 |
| [06:49] | Cover to cover. | 由头念到尾 |
| [06:50] | Turns out I know more Portuguese than I thought. | 最后我才发觉自己会的葡萄牙语比我以为的多 |
| [06:53] | You’re right, honey. | 亲爱的 你是对的 |
| [06:54] | Their marriage has stalled. | 他们的婚姻已经熄火了 |
| [06:56] | – Would you stop that? – I can’t! | -你能消停一下吗 -不能啊 |
| [06:58] | I see you turning into my parents. | 我看到你们正在变成我的父母 |
| [07:00] | It starts with getting each other appliances, | 这种情况就是从给对方买生活器材开始的 |
| [07:02] | and then you spend the next 40 years in a rut, | 然后你们在未来的40年中都会 |
| [07:04] | falling asleep in front of the TV. | 在电视机前睡着过着老一套的生活 |
| [07:06] | Daddy? | 爸爸 |
| [07:08] | Is his foot stuck? | 他的脚卡住了吗 |
| [07:10] | Is it stuck? | 卡住了吗 |
| [07:12] | Is it stuck? | 真卡住了吗 |
| [07:15] | Look, Emily, we are not in a rut, okay? | 听着 Eimly 我们没有过着老一套的生活 好吧 |
| [07:18] | We’re fine. | 我们都好好的 |
| [07:20] | – We go on plenty of dates. – Mm-hmm. | -我们有好多约会 -嗯哼 |
| [07:21] | Oh, like what? | 例如呢 |
| [07:22] | We returned that stepladder to home warehouse. | 我们把那凳梯放回到了家里的贮藏室 |
| [07:24] | – Mm-hmm. – We had a hot dog outside. | -嗯哼 -我们还在外面吃过热狗啊 |
| [07:27] | Hot dog combo outside. | 热狗套餐 |
| [07:29] | And before that… | 在那之前 |
| [07:31] | We took in some jazz music | 我们还在孩子们的小儿科医师 |
| [07:32] | in the waiting room of the boys’ pediatrician. | 的候诊室内听了一点爵士乐 |
| [07:35] | Pretzel guy’s here. | 卖椒盐卷饼的家伙在这 |
| [07:38] | Look, let me plan a real date for you. | 听着 让我给你们策划一次真正的约会 |
| [07:40] | I’m kind of an expert at this. | 这方面我可是专家 |
| [07:41] | We don’t need you to plan our dates. | 我们不需要你来策划我们的约会 |
| [07:43] | Guys, spending your Friday nights | 伙计们 周五晚上 |
| [07:45] | watching people get murdered on Dateline | 看受害者在Dateline上被杀 |
| [07:46] | is not a date. | 真不算一次约会啊 |
| [07:48] | Fine. Then will you leave us alone? | 好吧 策划之后你会让我们歇会儿吗 |
| [07:50] | – I promise. – Daddy? | -我保证会 -爸爸 |
| [07:52] | Can I have a jungle gym for Christmas? | 我可以要一个攀玩架当圣诞礼物吗 |
| [07:54] | Sure, you know, you can have this jungle gym, | 当然可以啦 你可以有这个攀玩架 |
| [07:57] | and we’ll just keep it here. | 不过我们只能摆它在这儿了 |
| [08:00] | Get off my jungle gym! | 别碰我的攀玩架 |
| [08:07] | Okay, Ernie are you getting ready? | 好了 Ernie你准备好了没 |
| [08:10] | Because this is gonna be fun. | 因为这会很好玩哦 |
| [08:11] | He is gonna just pop out. | 这玩意会弹出来 |
| [08:16] | Here it comes. Yeah? | 来咯 好吗 |
| [08:18] | Here it comes. | 来咯 |
| [08:21] | Any second now. | 就快来咯 |
| [08:22] | Just any second now. | 再等一会儿 |
| [08:24] | This is–does not usually take this long. | 呃 通常不需要那么久 |
| [08:30] | I don’t know what’s happening. | 我不知道怎么回事 |
| [08:32] | What is happening– oh! | 怎么回事呢 噢 |
| [08:35] | Oh… | 噢 |
| [08:39] | Oh, Ernie. | 噢 Ernie |
| [08:41] | Once again, your father has chosen | 又一次 你爸爸选择了 |
| [08:42] | the wrong person to engage. | 错误的对象求婚 |
| [08:50] | Oh. | 噢 |
| [08:50] | Urgent. Sweet. | 急件 好极了 |
| [09:05] | Oh, look it. | 噢 看 |
| [09:06] | Here. | 这儿 |
| [09:08] | Ready? Ready? | 准备好了吗 好了吗 |
| [09:11] | Whee. | 呼 |
| [09:30] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [09:38] | So… | 那么 |
| [09:39] | This is Nick and Emily’s favorite winter date. | 这就是Nick和Emily的最爱冬日约会 |
| [09:42] | Yeah, it’s a lovely night out for a carriage ride. | 嗯 今晚用来马车巡游多好啊 |
| [09:45] | Mm-hmm. | 嗯哼 |
| [09:48] | Would you fancy some white wine? | 你想要点白葡萄酒吗 |
| [09:51] | I would fancy some white wine. | 我想来点白葡萄酒 |
| [09:54] | Why are we talking like this? | 为什么我们这么说话 |
| [09:56] | We’re in a carriage, and we do as the carriage people do. | 因为我们坐在马车里 而且我们要像坐马车的人。 |
| [10:03] | – Oh! Oh, honey! – Son of a bitch! | -噢 噢 亲爱的 -真是该死 |
| [10:07] | Marny, I’m sorry. | 对不住 Marny |
| [10:08] | I can’t pour in this bumpy-ass thing. | 我在这么颠簸的车里没法儿倒酒 |
| [10:13] | There is no way Nick and Emily | Nick跟Emily不可能 |
| [10:14] | find this carriage ride enjoyable. | 觉得搭马车有趣啊 |
| [10:17] | I know. | 我知道啊 |
| [10:18] | How the hell could this be romantic? | 这怎么可能浪漫啊 |
| [10:19] | I’m cold, I’m wet, | 又冷 又湿 |
| [10:21] | and I can’t help but wonder | 我禁不住在想 |
| [10:22] | if there’s such a thing as horse deodorant. | 到底有没有一样东西叫马匹除臭剂 |
| [10:24] | I know, what’s up with that? Ugh. | 我知道 这是神马啊 哎呀 |
| [10:27] | Let’s just take our rut and go home. | 我们就重回常规 回家吧 |
| [10:31] | We could see if the dishwasher | 我们可以看看那洗碗机 |
| [10:33] | can get those spaghetti sauce stains out of our tupperware! | 能不能把我们的塔珀家用塑料制品上的意大利面酱污迹洗掉 |
| [10:36] | No, no, baby, look. | 不 不要 宝贝 听着 |
| [10:38] | I got a better idea. | 我有个更好的主意 |
| [10:40] | Nick and Emily have the kids. | Nick和Emily在照看孩子 |
| [10:42] | We finally have a night out to ourselves. | 我们终于能有一晚二人世界了 |
| [10:45] | Let’s tear it up how we used to do. | 就让我们像以前那样疯狂一下吧 |
| [10:48] | Oh, you wanna hit up some bars? | 哦 那你是想去泡吧 |
| [10:50] | Maybe do some cleavage body shots? | 也许还应该来点露乳沟的荡胸舞 |
| [10:54] | I don’t know if I still have the boobs for that, | 我不知道我还有没有可以那样的双峰了 |
| [10:56] | but you can try. | 不过你可以试试 |
| [10:59] | You’re so silly. | 你真是个傻蛋 |
| [11:01] | Let’s get out of here. | 离开这儿吧 |
| [11:02] | – Yes. – All right. | -嗯 -好吧 |
| [11:06] | – One, two,three. … – Honey? | -一 二 三 -亲爱的 |
| [11:08] | Tuck and roll! | 缩起身子跳 |
| [11:09] | Gary Gary! | |
| [11:13] | Excuse me, sir. | 对不住 先生 |
| [11:15] | Would you mind stopping? | 你介意停下来吗 |
| [11:24] | Nick and Emily Thayer! | Nick和Emily Thayer |
| [11:27] | You are in your living room! | 你们在起居室哦 |
| [11:30] | Whoa. | 哇哦 |
| [11:31] | And you’re welcome. | 你们客气了 |
| [11:34] | Somebody had a good time tonight. | 某些人今晚过得可爽咯 |
| [11:35] | Yep. | 正是 |
| [11:37] | And we’re coming for the kids. | 我们是来接孩子的 |
| [11:39] | Release them. | 把他们放了 |
| [11:41] | Oh, you guys. | 噢 你们呐 |
| [11:43] | Thank you so much. | 太谢谢你俩了 |
| [11:46] | You guys… | 你俩… |
| [11:48] | I’m sorry, you’re gonna have to excuse me. | 不好意思 你们可得原谅我 |
| [11:50] | Huh? | 啥 |
| [11:51] | – This thing is just driving me crazy. – Oh. | – 这玩意儿简直要把我弄疯了 – 噢 |
| [12:01] | Yeah. Yeah, now, that part of the tree | 嗯 好吧 现在 树的那块地方 |
| [12:03] | was getting a little too kid-friendly. | 会变得有点太适合小孩子了 |
| [12:07] | You know, we will be happy to watch the kids for the night. | 我们很高兴今晚帮忙照看孩子 |
| [12:09] | Aw. | 噢 |
| [12:11] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [12:12] | Because we are going to have sex. | 因为我们要去做爱啦 |
| [12:17] | See, I am an expert. | 看到没 我是个专家 |
| [12:18] | The carriage ride worked. | 坐马车兜风见效了 |
| [12:20] | Oh, no. | 噢 才不是 |
| [12:23] | – The carriage ride sucked. – Shh. | – 坐马车兜风糟透了 – 小声点 |
| [12:27] | You guys didn’t like it? | 你们俩不喜欢它吗 |
| [12:28] | No, that’s not what she said. | 不 这可不是她刚才说的 |
| [12:30] | She said it sucked. | 她刚说的是糟透了 |
| [12:36] | Come on. | 算了吧 |
| [12:37] | – It was one of your Nick and Emily dates. – Mm-hmm. | – 那是一次Nick和Emily的约会 – 嗯哼 |
| [12:40] | It was one of your Nemily dates. | 这是一次Nemily的约会 |
| [12:44] | – Nemily? – Yeah. | – Nemily – 对啊 |
| [12:46] | You know, Nick, Emily. Nemily. | 你看 Nick Emily 合起来就是Nemily |
| [12:51] | We all call you that. | 我们大家都是这么称呼你俩的 |
| [12:54] | So, Nemily, I don’t know what you guys are trying to prove | 所以 Nemily 我不知道你俩用浪漫的信息 |
| [12:58] | with getting all romantic and stuff, | 想要证明什么 |
| [13:00] | but you’re working too hard. | 但你俩想的太多了 |
| [13:02] | And I’m gonna let you in on a little secret | 而且我打算告诉你俩一个小秘密 |
| [13:06] | because I love you, and you are watching my kids, | 因为我爱你们 还有你俩帮我看孩子 |
| [13:10] | so I can go have sex. | 以便我俩能去做爱 |
| [13:12] | Yeah, but sometimes you guys are just too cute, | 嗯 但有时候你俩简直是太可爱了 |
| [13:16] | and we think it’s ridiculous. | 但是我们都觉得这点挺可笑的 |
| [13:20] | You’re welcome. | 不用谢 |
| [13:22] | Who’s “We all”? | “我们大家”是指谁 |
| [13:24] | Honey, they’re very drunk. | 亲爱的 他们醉得太厉害了 |
| [13:25] | They don’t know what they’re talking about. | 他们都不知道自己在说些什么 |
| [13:26] | Nuh-uh, I don’t get drunk. | 才没有 哥没醉 |
| [13:29] | I get awesome. | 哥酷毙了 |
| [13:32] | I am drunk. | 我可是醉了 |
| [13:36] | Oh, I love you so much. | 噢 我太爱你了 |
| [13:38] | Mwah. | 亲一个 |
| [13:40] | Marny out. | Marny摆驾回家喽 |
| [13:47] | Well, those were the rudest carolers of all time. | 呃 那俩人一直是无礼的欢唱者 |
| [13:56] | You guys want some coffee or something? | 你俩要点咖啡还是别的 |
| [13:58] | After what happened last night? | 经过昨晚发生的事儿之后 |
| [14:00] | We are so not talking to you. | 我们肯定不会再和你们说话了 |
| [14:02] | Awesome! | 太棒了 |
| [14:03] | Someone threw up in my bed! | 有人吐在我床上了 |
| [14:06] | – Guys, look, whatever we said– – Nope. | – 伙计们 听着 无论我们说了些什么 – 别说了 |
| [14:08] | I don’t wanna hear it. | 我们不想听 |
| [14:10] | Come on, Emily. | 不要这样嘛 Emily |
| [14:11] | Don’t you mean Nemily? | 你是想说Nemily不是吗 |
| [14:15] | Thayers out. | Thayer夫妇摆驾回家喽 |
| [14:19] | – Hey, hey. – Nick! | – 嘿 嘿 – Nick |
| [14:22] | Oh, no. | 噢 坏了 |
| [14:24] | I must have done my “Marny out” Thing. | 我一定是说了我”Marny摆驾回家喽”的话 |
| [14:27] | I can’t believe I called them Nemily to their face. | 我都不能相信我居然当着他们的面叫他们Nemily |
| [14:31] | Dad, Nick promised that you were gonna take us | 爸爸 Nick答应过我们 你今天会带我们 |
| [14:33] | to ride roller coasters today. | 去坐过山车 |
| [14:34] | – Boys, I can’t– – He promised! | – 男孩们 我不能 – 他答应过的 |
| [14:41] | Do you call us Nemily? | 你是不是叫我俩Nemily |
| [14:43] | Uh… | 呃… |
| [14:44] | Do you think we’re ridiculously cute? | 你是不是觉得我俩可爱得可笑 |
| [14:45] | Are we annoying? | 我俩讨人厌吗 |
| [14:48] | Uh… | 这个嘛… |
| [14:49] | Oh, come on. | 噢 有没搞错啊 |
| [14:51] | Yeah, thank you. You’ve said enough. | 嗯 谢谢了 你说的够多了 |
| [14:56] | Uh… | 呃… |
| [15:00] | Eh. | 唉 |
| [15:03] | Everybody thinks we’re ridiculous, huh? | 每个人都觉得们可笑 是吧 |
| [15:05] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [15:06] | They are just saying we are ridiculous | 他们说我们可笑 |
| [15:08] | because they’re jealous. | 只不过是因为他们嫉妒 |
| [15:09] | That’s what it is. | 就是这么回事 |
| [15:11] | They are jealous that we don’t eat | 他们嫉妒我们 |
| [15:12] | hot dogs in parking lots. | 不在停车场里吃热狗 |
| [15:15] | Call me ridiculous, I’ll kill you! | 再说我可笑 我就杀了你们 |
| [15:19] | Okay, honey? | 还好吧 亲爱的 |
| [15:21] | Yep? | 嗯 |
| [15:21] | – Can I ask you a question? – Yep. | – 我能问你个问题不 – 可以 |
| [15:23] | Why don’t we just take the stabby things | 在我问你之前 我得先把你手上的 |
| [15:25] | out of your hands before I do? Okay. | 捅来捅去的东西停下来拿过来 好吗 |
| [15:28] | You know, these carriage rides, | 比如说这些马车兜风 |
| [15:29] | do you have fun when we go on those? | 我们兜风的时候你觉得开心吗 |
| [15:32] | Because I’m just gonna be honest for a second | 因为我只是想坦诚一下 |
| [15:34] | and just throw it out there. | 只是想把实话说出来 |
| [15:36] | Not my favorite thing. | 不是我最喜欢干的事儿 |
| [15:38] | But you always said you loved it. | 可你之前总说你喜欢啊 |
| [15:39] | I do–I love it because you love it. Okay? | 我确实喜欢这玩意儿 因为你喜欢 懂不 |
| [15:41] | But a lot of the things that we normally do | 但我们平时做的很多事儿 |
| [15:43] | aren’t things I would normally do. | 都不是我平时会去做的 |
| [15:45] | But I love that you love them. | 但我喜欢你喜欢的事情 |
| [15:48] | Okay, the carriage ride’s not my favorite. | 好吧 我也不喜欢坐马车兜风 |
| [15:51] | It’s cold and smelly. | 又冷又臭 |
| [15:52] | And I’m pretty sure that’s when my sweater got fleas. | 而且我相当肯定我的毛衣就是在那时惹上跳蚤的 |
| [15:57] | It sucked. | 糟糕透顶了 |
| [16:02] | Then why do we keep doing it? | 那我们为什么还要坚持做这事儿呢 |
| [16:04] | Because. | 因为 |
| [16:07] | Because it’s something my parents would have never done. | 因为这是我父母永远不会做的事儿 |
| [16:10] | They would never make caramel apples | 他们永远不会去做焦糖苹果 |
| [16:12] | or go swing dancing. | 或是去跳摇摆舞 |
| [16:15] | They’re just two people sharing the same space. | 他们只不过是同一屋檐下的两个人 |
| [16:18] | I swore to myself when I got married | 我向我自己发过誓 我结婚之后 |
| [16:20] | I would never turn into them. | 决不能变得跟他们一样 |
| [16:23] | Come here, come here. | 到这儿来 到这儿来 |
| [16:24] | Listen, no matter what happens, | 听着 不管发生什么事 |
| [16:26] | we are never gonna turn into your parents, okay? | 我们都不会变成你父母那样的 好吗 |
| [16:29] | For one, I am not an auctioneer. | 首先一点 我不是个拍卖商 |
| [16:32] | And also, you don’t have a permanent wedgie. | 还有 你没有穿一辈子的紧裤 |
| [16:36] | I just think not everything we do has to be so over-the-top. | 我只是觉得并不是我们做的每件事情都非得这么不自然 |
| [16:39] | Okay, not every date, not every present, | 好吧 并不是每个约会 每样礼物 |
| [16:42] | not every picture has to be such a huge production. | 每张相片 都非得是一件如此庞大的作品 |
| [16:45] | I don’t think we’re over-the-top. | 我不觉得我们不自然啊 |
| [16:47] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [16:54] | – That’s– that is ridiculous. – Yep. | – 那个 那确实很可笑啊 – 没错 |
| [16:58] | We ordered 1,000 of those. | 我们订购了许多许多那东西 |
| [17:04] | You guys want some wine? | 你们想喝点酒不 |
| [17:07] | If you even think of opening that, | 如果你敢考虑开那瓶酒 |
| [17:09] | and if I smell it, I will beat you to death. | 或是让我闻到了味儿 我就打死你 |
| [17:13] | Baby. | 亲爱的 |
| [17:15] | Gotcha loud and clear. | 收到 一清二楚 |
| [17:17] | Super hearing. Yeah. | 超级听力 没错 |
| [17:20] | Also a great listener. | 同时也是个很棒的倾听者 |
| [17:23] | Two separate powers. | 两种不同的能力 |
| [17:25] | – Hi. – Whoa, whoa, whoa. | – 嗨 – 哇 哇 哇 |
| [17:27] | – What? – Can you please take off | – 干嘛 – 请你把鞋脱了 |
| [17:28] | your shoes and empty out your pockets? | 然后掏空你的口袋 |
| [17:29] | Chris, I don’t have the ring, | Chris 我没带那戒指 |
| [17:31] | and I’ve grown tired of this silly game. | 我已经厌倦了这愚蠢的游戏 |
| [17:34] | Mm-hmm. Turn around, please. | 嗯哼 麻烦转一个圈 |
| [17:37] | Oh, hey, guys. | 噢 嘿 伙计们 |
| [17:39] | Before you say anything, | 在你开口之前 |
| [17:41] | we are so, so sorry. | 我想说我们实在是太太对不起 |
| [17:44] | Yeah, we should have never called you Nemily. | 嗯 我们永远都不应该叫你们Nemily |
| [17:47] | We can call them that | 我们现在可以当面 |
| [17:48] | to their faces now? | 这么叫他们了吗 |
| [17:51] | You call us Nemily too? | 你也叫我俩Nemily吗 |
| [17:53] | Well, of course. | 嗯 那是当然 |
| [17:54] | I call anything that annoys me Nemily now. | 我现在把所有让我厌烦的东西都叫做Nemily |
| [17:57] | Adults with light-up shoes, Nemily. | 穿着会亮灯的鞋的成年人 Nemily |
| [18:00] | Anyone who wears shorts in November, Nemily. | 任何在十一月还穿短裤的人 Nemily |
| [18:04] | Ooh, someone who tries to start a conversation in the elevator, | 噢 企图在电梯里谈话的 |
| [18:07] | Nemily. Yeah. | 也叫Nemily 没错 |
| [18:09] | Actually, I’ve called all of you | 事实上 我已经在这事儿或那事儿上 |
| [18:10] | Nemily at one point or another. | 叫过你们所有人Nemily了 |
| [18:13] | But we don’t mean it. | 但我们不是认真的 |
| [18:15] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [18:18] | Look, we think you guys are a great couple. | 听着 我们认为你俩是一对很棒的夫妇 |
| [18:21] | And we love that you do all of that romantic stuff. | 而且我们也喜欢你们做的那些浪漫的事儿 |
| [18:24] | Thank you, but you were right. | 谢谢 但你们是对的 |
| [18:28] | We need to calm the hell down. | 我们得冷静下来 |
| [18:31] | So you guys aren’t upset with us? | 这么说你俩不生我们的气啦 |
| [18:34] | No, and I had no right to say that you guys were in a rut. | 不了 而且我们也没权说你俩生活单调乏味老一套 |
| [18:38] | No, no, no, it’s okay, really. | 不 不 没事儿 没事儿 真的 |
| [18:40] | You got us out of the house, | 你让我俩离开了家 |
| [18:42] | and that’s something we should do more often. | 这是我们应该更多去做的事儿 |
| [18:44] | Yeah, but we just can’t do it like we did it last night. | 没错 不过我们不能再像昨晚那么做了 |
| [18:49] | I can’t pee in the hamper again. | 我不能在筐子里撒尿了 |
| [18:51] | It sends the wrong message to the kids. | 这对孩子们发出了错误的信息 |
| [18:57] | What? | 什么 |
| [18:59] | Nothing. | 没什么 |
| [19:09] | How? | 怎么做到的 |
| [19:11] | I win. | 我赢了 |
| [19:17] | Sheila Sheila. | |
| [19:18] | The ring is yours. | 这戒指是你的 |
| [19:21] | Remember, I tried to give you my grandmother’s ring. | 记住 我曾经想把我奶奶的戒指给你 |
| [19:23] | You said, “No, not until she’s officially declared dead.” | 你说 “我不能要 除非已经被正式宣布她死亡了” |
| [19:26] | And you went out, and you picked this one, so– | 然后你就出去了 还选了这个 所以 |
| [19:28] | Chris, I don’t want it! | Chris 我不想要它 |
| [19:30] | Why is it so important to you | 为什么对于你来说我拿着这戒指 |
| [19:31] | that I take this back? | 这么重要 |
| [19:32] | Because! | 因为 |
| [19:34] | I feel guilty keeping it. | 因为我拿着它会有愧疚感 |
| [19:37] | That ring is a symbol of our divorce, | 那个戒指是我们离婚的象征 |
| [19:39] | which over the past year, I have come to realize | 在过去这么多年里 我已经意识到 |
| [19:43] | I was responsible for. | 我要为离婚负责 |
| [19:46] | No, come on, it was both of us. | 不是的 拜托 这是我俩共同的责任 |
| [19:51] | No. | 才不是 |
| [19:52] | It was all me. | 全是我的责任 |
| [19:54] | And I’m not the easiest person to get along with. | 而且我不是那个最容易相处的人 |
| [19:57] | And instead of trying to solve the problem, | 需要试着努力解决问题的时候 |
| [19:59] | I would just say, “This is me. | 我只会说 “这就是我 |
| [20:00] | If you don’t like it, get out.” | 如果你不喜欢 你就给我滚” |
| [20:02] | And I’m sorry for that. | 我为此道歉 |
| [20:04] | The ring is yours. | 这戒指是你的 |
| [20:06] | If you don’t like it, get out. | 如果你不喜欢 你就给我滚 |
| [20:11] | You know, the funny thing is this ring game | 你知道吗 可笑的是 这戒指游戏 |
| [20:14] | is the most fun we’ve had together in a long time. | 是我们在这么长的时间里一起玩过的最有趣的了 |
| [20:17] | Well– | 嗯 |
| [20:18] | I want you to keep it, okay? | 我想你留着它 可以吗 |
| [20:19] | As a symbol, not of our failed marriage, | 作为一个象征 但不是我们失败的婚姻 |
| [20:22] | but of our wonderful divorce. | 而是我们之间绝妙的离婚 |
| [20:26] | I like the sound of that. | 我喜欢你这么说 |
| [20:29] | Okay, Chris. | 好吧 Chris |
| [20:31] | You win. | 你赢了 |
| [20:32] | Yes! | 太好了 |
| [20:33] | Finally! | 终于赢了 |
| [20:35] | I will keep the $45,000 ring. | 我会留着这枚四万五千美金的戒指 |
| [20:41] | That’s what I told you. | 那是我跟你说的而已嘛 |
| [20:48] | This Garny date’s pretty good, huh? | 这场Garny约会超正点 对吧 |
| [20:51] | You see what I did there? | 你看到我刚刚在那儿做了什么吗 |
| [20:52] | I combined Gary and Marny, made Garny. | 我把Gary和Marny合起来做了Garny这个词 |
| [20:56] | I did see that. | 我确实看到了 |
| [20:57] | Mm. | 嗯 |
| [20:58] | We got hot dogs and chips and soda– | 我们有热狗 薯片 苏打水 |
| [21:01] | the combo, huh, what else do we need? | 和组合套餐 我们还需要点什么 |
| [21:03] | This is pretty nice. | 这真棒 |
| [21:04] | I’m not gonna post any of these photos on Facebook, | 我不会在Facebook上面发这些相片了 |
| [21:07] | but it is pretty nice. | 但确实很棒 |
| [21:08] | Well, I’m glad to hear you say that | 嗯 我很高兴听到你这么说 |
| [21:09] | because remember last year when I made you that awesome present, | 因为 你还记得去年我给你做的那个超棒的礼物的时候吗 |
| [21:14] | and even then, we were like, “Gosh, I don’t know how | 甚至那时 我们都好像处于那种 |
| [21:16] | he’s gonna top it this year”? | “天呐 我不知道他今年准备怎样把这个超过去呢”的心态 |
| [21:18] | Well, since we are calming the hell down– | 好吧 既然我俩正冷静下来 |
| [21:20] | You are gonna find a way to top it. | 你得找个办法来超过它 |
| [21:23] | I am gonna find a way to top it. | 我得找个办法来超过它 |