| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Guys with kids is taped in front of a live studio audience. | 奶爸当家是在现场录影棚观众观看下录制完成的 |
| [00:03] | Hey! Hey… | 嘿 嘿 |
| [00:05] | Babe, the place looks great for your parents’ visit. | 宝贝儿 我们这儿太适合你爸妈来探访啦 |
| [00:07] | Wow. | 哇 |
| [00:08] | Got your mom some flowers. | 给你妈买了些花儿 |
| [00:10] | She loves me. Ha ha. | 她可喜欢我了 哈哈 |
| [00:12] | She did a painting of me in her art class. | 她在她的美术班里画了一张我的画像 |
| [00:14] | She called it “My Sugar.” | 并称之为”我的甜心” |
| [00:19] | Oh, I know. | 噢 我知道 |
| [00:20] | But unfortunately, my mom’s not gonna be able to make it this time. | 可不幸的是 我妈这次没法来了 |
| [00:23] | What? No Vivian? | 什么 Vivian不来 |
| [00:26] | But your dad is receiving an award from his law school. | 可你爸在法学院里获奖了啊 |
| [00:28] | How–how could she do this to him? | 她怎么能 怎么能这么对他 |
| [00:30] | And me? | 还有我 |
| [00:32] | You know I can’t handle your father without your mother. | 你知道我没了你妈没法儿应对你爸 |
| [00:36] | Gary, I don’t know how many times | Gary 亲爱的 我都不知道 |
| [00:38] | I have to tell you this, baby. | 我告诉过你多少次了 |
| [00:39] | My dad loves you. | 我爸他爱你 |
| [00:41] | It’s all in your head, | 这些都是你自己瞎想出来的 |
| [00:44] | like how you think the gap purposefully makes jeans | 这就跟你觉得你的牙缝让你看上去 |
| [00:46] | that don’t look good on you. | 不适合穿牛仔裤一样 |
| [00:48] | Baby, whenever I’m with your father | 宝贝儿 每当我跟你爸呆在一起 |
| [00:51] | I can feel his contempt. | 我都能感觉到他的轻蔑 |
| [00:52] | Then I get self-conscious, | 然后我就觉得特不自在 |
| [00:54] | and then my hands start moving around | 再然后我的手就开始到处乱摆 |
| [00:56] | like they took a tai chi class and didn’t tell me about it. | 好像它们背着我去上太极课了一样 |
| [00:59] | Where’s Vivian? How could she do this to me? | Vivian去哪儿了啊 她怎么能这么对我 |
| [01:03] | Vivian Vivian! | |
| [01:05] | See, right there. That’s the problem. | 看到没 这就是症结所在 |
| [01:07] | What? | 啥 |
| [01:08] | You’re always hiding behind my mom. | 你总是拿我妈来当挡箭牌 |
| [01:11] | You’ve never really made an effort to connect with him. | 你从没有真正努力过去和我爸交谈 |
| [01:14] | He has a lot of great interests. | 他有很多很棒的兴趣爱好 |
| [01:16] | He loves boats, | 他喜欢船 |
| [01:18] | anything to do with the space program. | 还有任何跟太空计划扯得上关系的东西 |
| [01:20] | Baby, this is the perfect opportunity | 宝贝儿 这可是你俩加深感情的 |
| [01:23] | for you two to bond. | 大好机会 |
| [01:25] | My dad’s got a tough demeanor, yes, | 我爸行为举止确实比较严厉 |
| [01:27] | but underneath all that he’s a sweetheart. | 但他内心其实是个好人 |
| [01:31] | All right, how long is he coming for? | 好吧 他要待多久 |
| [01:33] | Five days. | 五天 |
| [01:35] | Five days! | 五天 |
| [01:37] | Vivian Vivian! | |
| [01:49] | I’ve come to return your jogging stroller. | 我来还你的婴儿车 |
| [01:51] | It turns out our clothes dry much faster on the treadmill. | 我发现我们的衣服晾在跑步机上干的快多了 |
| [01:56] | How was your date the other day? | 你那天的约会怎么样了 |
| [01:59] | Was she aggressive? | 她精力充沛吗 |
| [02:00] | ‘Cause I hear single girls are really aggressive these days. | 我听说近些天来单身女人们可是相当的精力充沛 |
| [02:04] | How come you never ask me about my dates? | 为什么你从来不问我约会的事儿 |
| [02:08] | Actually, she bailed on me, | 事实上 她失约了 |
| [02:09] | but I already had the tickets, so I took– | 但因为我早已有票 所以我带了 |
| [02:12] | Me. | 我 |
| [02:13] | No! | 不 |
| [02:15] | Chris, when it scratches on the door, | Chris 当野猫挠门的时候 |
| [02:17] | you’re not supposed to let it in. | 你就该狠下心来不让它进门 |
| [02:22] | You make marshmallows look tan. | 你真黑心 |
| [02:28] | Your ex-wife was your date to the concert? | 你的前妻就是你音乐会的约会对象 |
| [02:31] | Relax, it was not a date. | 放轻松 这不是个约会 |
| [02:33] | Yeah, definitely not. | 就是 绝对不是 |
| [02:34] | Did you share a cab? | 你俩坐同一部的士了吗 |
| [02:36] | We live in the same building. | 我俩住同一栋楼 |
| [02:37] | Did you take her to dinner? | 你俩共用晚餐了吗 |
| [02:38] | We both had to eat. | 我俩都得吃饭不是 |
| [02:40] | Did you walk her to her door? | 你有没把她送回家 |
| [02:41] | Uh… | 呃 |
| [02:43] | Did you or did you not walk her to her door? | 你究竟有没有把她送回家 |
| [02:46] | – Oh, my God! – We went on a date! | – 噢 天呐 – 我俩约会了 |
| [02:49] | Why would you guys do that? | 你们俩为什么要这么做 |
| [02:51] | I don’t know. It wasn’t intentional. | 我不知道 这不是有意的 |
| [02:52] | Dating is hard. | 约会很难的 |
| [02:54] | Yeah, men are intimidated by me. | 是啊 男人们都受到我胁迫了 |
| [02:56] | Is it my brains? My courage? | 是因为我的智慧 还是我的勇气 |
| [02:58] | Both? | 难道两者都有 |
| [03:01] | Okay, Chris, let us set you up. | 好吧 Chris 让我们来帮你安排 |
| [03:03] | Yes, we are great matchmakers. | 没错 我们是超棒的媒人 |
| [03:06] | Oh, and, Sheila, we might know someone for you too. | 噢 Sheila 我们也许能给你也介绍一个哦 |
| [03:08] | Oh, that’s nice, but I don’t know | 噢 那太好了 不过我不知道 |
| [03:10] | how you would know someone I’d like. | 你们俩怎么会认识我喜欢的类型 |
| [03:14] | You already tried this in college, Nick. | Nick 这招你在大学的时候就试过了 |
| [03:16] | You set me up five times. | 你都帮我安排过五回了 |
| [03:17] | Each time, the woman was well over 6 feet tall. | 每一次那些女人都是远超六尺高的 |
| [03:20] | Those were jokes. | 那些都是玩笑 |
| [03:21] | They were joke dates. | 她们是玩笑型约会 |
| [03:23] | And you gotta admit, | 而且你得承认 |
| [03:24] | as they got taller, it got funnier. | 她们越高 约会就越搞笑 |
| [03:29] | All right, this is serious. | 好了 这可是正经事 |
| [03:30] | We will not let you down. | 我们不会让你失望的 |
| [03:32] | Okay, but nobody over 6’5″ This time, got it? | 好吧 这回别再找高于六尺五的女人了 听懂没 |
| [03:36] | I mean, quite honestly, | 老实说 |
| [03:38] | if it’s funny, I’m gonna do it. | 如果约会因此有趣 我会的 |
| [03:43] | Grandpa, I feel it. I feel the bullet. | 外公 我感觉到了 我感觉到那颗子弹了 |
| [03:45] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [03:47] | Why did that man shoot you? | 那人为什么要开枪射你啊 |
| [03:48] | A couple of reasons. | 原因可多了 |
| [03:50] | I’m a judge, | 我是个法官 |
| [03:51] | and someone unplugged the metal detector | 有人把金属探测仪拔了出来 |
| [03:53] | so they could charge their iPhone. | 给他们的iPhone充电 |
| [03:56] | Aunt Emily, you have to feel the bullet. | Emily阿姨 你必须得感受下这子弹 |
| [03:59] | Come on, do it! | 快来试试呀 |
| [04:02] | Oh, that’s so cool! | 噢 太酷了 |
| [04:04] | Look at him, | 看看他 |
| [04:06] | letting our friends touch his leg. | 他都能让我们的朋友们摸他的脚了 |
| [04:08] | There’s nothing to be afraid of. | 还有什么好害怕的 |
| [04:10] | You said you would talk to him. | 你说过你会跟他谈的 |
| [04:12] | Talk to him. | 去跟他谈谈呀 |
| [04:15] | So, Judge, you pick up that new boating magazine? | 法官大人 你翻开了那本新的滑船杂志 |
| [04:20] | You know, there’s a– there’s a big article in there | 你知道吗 那里有篇篇幅很长的文章 |
| [04:23] | about, uh… Um, boats. | 是关于 呃 船的 |
| [04:28] | Huh? | 什么 |
| [04:30] | Nothing. | 没什么 |
| [04:32] | What was that? | 这是在干嘛 |
| [04:34] | I promised her I’d make an effort towards her father | 我答应过她要努力和他爸交流 |
| [04:36] | even though I know he hates me. | 即使我知道他讨厌我 |
| [04:37] | He doesn’t hate you. | 他哪有讨厌你 |
| [04:39] | Guys, would you please talk some sense into him? | 你们两个给他讲讲道理吧 |
| [04:42] | Oh, yeah, I mean, Marny’s right, | 噢 就是 Marny说的对 |
| [04:44] | the judge is great. | 法官可棒了 |
| [04:46] | He sent me a birthday card. It said “Have a good one.” | 他给我寄了张生日卡 上面写着”生日快乐” |
| [04:47] | And I did, thanks to that card. | 多亏了那卡片 我确实过得挺开心的 |
| [04:51] | Okay, I got this. | 好吧 我懂了 |
| [04:55] | All right. | 好 |
| [04:56] | Uh… | 呃 |
| [04:59] | How ’bout that guy that jumped from outer space? | 那个从外太空跳下去的男人怎么样了 |
| [05:01] | What guy is that, Gary? | Gary 什么男人 |
| [05:05] | Uh, you know, the guy– he, uh… | 呃 你懂的 就那个 呃 |
| [05:08] | You know, he went up on that balloon, | 就那个坐着热气球一直上升 |
| [05:10] | and he just went up and then… | 上升 然后 |
| [05:12] | Pffft. | 唰的一声下落 |
| [05:15] | He wasn’t in space. | 他没上太空 |
| [05:17] | He was at the edge of the atmosphere. | 他只不过在大气层的边上 |
| [05:18] | If he had been in space, | 如果他上了太空 |
| [05:20] | he would have floated away, right? | 他是会飘走的 好吧 |
| [05:25] | Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess. | 呃 对 我猜是对的 |
| [05:28] | Uh… | 呃 |
| [05:29] | Houston, we have a problem. | Houston 我们之间有问题 |
| [05:32] | That’s space talk, right? | 那番关于太空的谈话 对吧 |
| [05:34] | You ever been to Houston? I hear it’s muggy. | 你去过休斯顿没 我听说那儿很闷热 |
| [05:42] | Uh, come on, baby. Let’s go check on dinner. | 呃 来 宝贝儿 我们来看看晚餐做得怎样了 |
| [05:45] | Let’s not hit him with too much Gary all at once. | 我们还是别太操之过急了 |
| [05:49] | Chris, since the last time I saw you, | Chris 好久没见啦 |
| [05:52] | I hear you made partner. | 我听说你成了公司合伙人 |
| [05:53] | Yeah, that’s true. | 是的 没错 |
| [05:55] | And not to brag, but I am the 37th-youngest person | 不是我夸口 我是我们公司里第37个最年轻的 |
| [05:57] | at my firm to have done so. | 公司合伙人呢 |
| [05:59] | A lawyer and a commercial director. | 一个是律师 一个是广告导演 |
| [06:01] | Because of that ad you made, Nick, | Nick 因为你制作的那支广告 |
| [06:03] | I switched from soap to body wash. | 我由用香皂改成了用沐浴露 |
| [06:05] | I’m just glad you’re thinking about me in the shower, Judge. | 法官大人 我很高兴你能在泡澡的时候想起我 |
| [06:11] | Well, you guys are doing great. | 嗯 你们两个做得很不错 |
| [06:13] | Professional, hardworking fathers. | 是专业的辛勤工作的父亲 |
| [06:15] | Well, we take our inspiration from Gary. | 嗯 我们都是从Gary那儿获得灵感的 |
| [06:17] | Hardest-working father we know. | 他是我们所知道的 最辛勤工作的父亲了 |
| [06:20] | That was an amazing segue. | 这说法太了不起了 |
| [06:22] | I was working on something. You got there in one move. | 我还在想要怎么过渡呢 结果你一步到位了 |
| [06:25] | I hear there’s water on Mars now, | 我听说现在火星上有水了 |
| [06:27] | so I guess they’ll be needing boats. | 所以我想那儿的人会需要船吧 |
| [06:35] | Ten years and I still don’t get him. | 十年了 我还是没法搞懂他 |
| [06:38] | Just one time, I’d like to visit | 我只想有那么一次来访 |
| [06:40] | without that guy staring at me. | 是不受那家伙斜眼瞪我的 |
| [06:47] | Sir, if I could be honest with you, | 先生 实话跟您说 |
| [06:49] | I think that Gary’s just nervous around you. | 我觉得Gary只不过是因为您在而紧张了 |
| [06:53] | He’s got this crazy idea in his head | 他脑子里老有个疯狂的念头 |
| [06:54] | that for some reason, you just don’t like him. | 觉得您因为某种原因而不喜欢他 |
| [06:57] | He’s right. I don’t like him. | 他说的对 我是不喜欢他 |
| [07:00] | – You don’t? – I just don’t respect him. | – 您真不喜欢他 – 我只是不尊重他罢了 |
| [07:03] | – But, sir, Gary is an amazing– – Ah, don’t try and change my mind.- | – 但 先生 Gary是个完美的 – 别企图改变我的想法 |
| [07:06] | it was my job for 30 years to judge people. | 三十年来我的工作就是去评判人们 |
| [07:08] | I know what I’m doing. | 我知道我在做什么 |
| [07:10] | My verdict on Gary: He’s not much of a man. | 我对Gary的判决是 他不够男子汉 |
| [07:14] | Now how can you say that? | 你怎么能这么说 |
| [07:16] | All right, who’s hungry? | 好吧 谁肚子饿了 |
| [07:26] | My dad actually said that he doesn’t like Gary? | 我爸当真说了他不喜欢Gary这话 |
| [07:29] | And has no respect for him. None. | 并且对他没有一点儿尊重之意 |
| [07:33] | What? That’s the new information. | 怎么了 那是个新信息 |
| [07:36] | That can’t be right. | 这是不对的 |
| [07:37] | – It is right. – No. | – 这是对的 – 不 |
| [07:39] | You have a blind spot where your father’s concerned. | 你对你爸的关注中有一个盲点 |
| [07:41] | He can do no wrong in your eyes. | 他在你眼里是没有缺点的 |
| [07:43] | Other people shoot him, you know? | 可有人拿枪射他了 你知道吗 |
| [07:45] | He cannot treat you this way. | 他不能这么对你 |
| [07:48] | I’m going over to his hotel room right now | 我现在就去他酒店房间 |
| [07:50] | to set him straight. | 纠正他对你的看法 |
| [07:51] | Oh, yeah, he’ll respect me more | 噢 太好了 你去那告诉孩子们最爱戴的外公 |
| [07:53] | if you run over there and tell pop-pop | 他深深伤害了我的感情之后 |
| [07:54] | he made a boo-boo on my feelings. | 他就会更尊重我了 |
| [07:57] | All right, you know, | 这下可好了 |
| [07:58] | I’d love to see him handle four screaming kids. | 我就想看看他是怎么应对四个尖叫的小孩的 |
| [08:01] | Now there’s an idea. | 这个想法不错 |
| [08:03] | Stick him with all four of your kids for ten minutes, | 让你那四个孩子缠上他十分钟 |
| [08:04] | he’s gonna want to take that bullet out of his leg | 他就会尝到 把他腿里的子弹拿出来 |
| [08:06] | and put it in his head. | 放进他脑壳里般的绝望了 |
| [08:12] | I am telling you, Jess from my spin class | 我跟你说 我室内自行车课程的同学Jess |
| [08:15] | is the perfect girl for Chris. | 是个超适合Chris的女生 |
| [08:16] | They both say things are “Too funny.” | 他俩都喜欢说事情”实在太搞笑了吧” |
| [08:20] | I already have the perfect girl for Chris, | 我早就为Chris找好了最匹配的女生 |
| [08:22] | Erica from work. | 我同事Erica |
| [08:24] | And why would your Erica be better than my Jess? | 那你凭什么说你的Erica比我的Jess好 |
| [08:27] | Jess drives a car that runs on vegetable oil. | Jess自己开车 而且用的是植物油 |
| [08:29] | That is very interesting. | 可有趣了 |
| [08:32] | Because I have a gift. | 因为我有天赋 |
| [08:34] | Admit it, I am the real matchmaker between us. | 承认吧 我才是我俩之中真正的媒人 |
| [08:36] | Where did you get that from? | 你从哪得出那结论的 |
| [08:42] | Ahh! | 啊 |
| [08:46] | Okay, you think it’s all you? | 可以啊 你觉得都是你的功劳 |
| [08:49] | How ’bout we set Chris up with both Jess and Erica | 那我们就安排Chris分别和Jess和Erica约会 |
| [08:52] | and see how each date goes? | 看看进展如何 |
| [08:53] | Then we can determine who the real matchmaker is. | 这样我们就能决定谁才是真正的媒人了 |
| [08:56] | Oh, it’s on. What are the rules? | 噢 游戏开始 规则是什么 |
| [08:59] | Two identical dates. | 两个完全相同的约会 |
| [09:00] | Same restaurant, same table, same seats. | 一样的餐厅 餐桌和椅子 |
| [09:02] | We attend both. | 我们两个约会都参加 |
| [09:03] | Chris pays. We’re lending him our talent. | Chris给钱 我们为他出谋划策 |
| [09:05] | Absolutely. | 那是当然 |
| [09:07] | If the date touches his arm, | 如果约会对象碰到了他的手臂 |
| [09:09] | that’s two points. | 得两分 |
| [09:10] | Oh, a point structure. I like that. | 噢 得分模式 我喜欢 |
| [09:12] | If she touches his leg, that’s five points. | 如果她碰了他的腿 五分 |
| [09:14] | First base, 15. | 一垒 十五分 |
| [09:16] | Ooh. | 噢 |
| [09:18] | How many points would our first date have been? | 那我们的第一次约会能拿多少分 |
| [09:21] | Like, 1,000. | 嗯 一千分 |
| [09:25] | Eh, don’t feel bad. We knew. | 呃 别不开心 我俩懂就行 |
| [09:34] | Thank you so much for getting us together. | 谢谢你把我们俩给凑一块儿了 |
| [09:36] | Oh, it’s just what a great matchmaker does. | 噢 这只是一个好媒婆的份内事罢了 |
| [09:39] | I can’t believe we both went to Camp Oscawana. | 我简直不敢相信 我们俩居然都去过奥斯卡瓦纳露营 |
| [09:41] | Who knew we had so much in common? | 谁知道咱俩居然有那么多共同点 |
| [09:43] | I did. I knew. | 我知道 |
| [09:46] | Did you know Chris’ pants | 你知道Chris的长裤 |
| [09:47] | are a blend of wool and cashmere? | 是混纺羊毛和羊绒的吗 |
| [09:50] | Wow. | 哇 |
| [09:52] | Touched the knee. Five points, moi. | 碰膝盖了哟 我加五分 |
| [09:56] | Did you know that Chris has a kid | 你知道吗 Chris有个孩子 |
| [09:58] | that he loves more than anyone? | 他爱孩子胜过任何人 |
| [10:00] | Are you comfortable never being more than a distant second | 在他心里 你最多就是第二位的 |
| [10:02] | in his heart? | 你懂这种感受不 |
| [10:04] | I get it. I’m a single parent too. | 我懂 我也是个单亲家长 |
| [10:07] | My little cutie-pie’s name is Doug. | 我的小心肝儿叫Doug |
| [10:09] | Oh, my son is Ernie. | 噢 我儿子叫Ernie |
| [10:11] | How old is Doug? | Doug多大啦 |
| [10:13] | 41. | 41岁 |
| [10:15] | 41? | 41岁 |
| [10:17] | In cat years. | 按猫龄算 |
| [10:19] | Doug is a cat. | Doug是只猫 |
| [10:21] | Doug is a cat. Doug is a cat! | Doug是只猫 Doug居然是一只猫 |
| [10:23] | Yes, that you think is a baby. | 是啊 不过你觉得它是个小宝宝 |
| [10:25] | Okay, I love this. | 好吧 我喜欢这样 |
| [10:26] | Yes, tell me everything about Doug. | 告诉我所有关于Doug的事儿吧 |
| [10:28] | Do you have pictures? | 你有没它照片 |
| [10:30] | Yes. | 有 |
| [10:32] | Here’s Doug at the renaissance fair. | 这是Doug在文艺复兴集市上 |
| [10:33] | Renaissance fair! | 文艺复兴集市 |
| [10:37] | He’s in a tiny suit of armor. | 它穿了一副小盔甲 |
| [10:40] | No! | 不 |
| [10:42] | How many points is that? | 你觉得这个可以打几分 |
| [10:44] | – Negative ten. – Negative ten. | – 负十分 – 负十分 |
| [10:47] | Meow, meow. Meow, meow. | 喵 喵 喵 喵 |
| [10:49] | Meow, meow, meow. | 喵 喵 喵 |
| [10:51] | There is no bottom in sight. | 这是个无底洞 |
| [10:59] | How long you gonna leave my dad alone with the kids? | 你打算让我爸单独和孩子们呆多久 |
| [11:02] | Uh, an hour should do it. | 呃 一个小时就差不多了吧 |
| [11:03] | Make it two. | 两个小时吧 |
| [11:06] | I wanna teach him no one hates my husband. | 我想要告诉他 没人能讨厌我老公 |
| [11:09] | Hmm. | 嗯 |
| [11:11] | Except for Natalie at the park. | 跟Natalie在公园的时候除外 |
| [11:13] | Hey, if you don’t discipline your child, | 嘿 如果你不规范你孩子们的行为 |
| [11:15] | I will do it for you. | 那就我来吧 |
| [11:17] | All right. | 好 |
| [11:18] | Mwah. | 亲一个 |
| [11:22] | So just me and you. | 现在只有我们俩啦 |
| [11:26] | Oh, no, I forgot. | 哦 不 我都给忘啦 |
| [11:29] | I thought we were gonna have such a great time | 我以为我们会有一段美好的时光 |
| [11:31] | to talk about space boats, | 来谈论太空飞船 |
| [11:34] | but I realize I have to get diapers for the kids, | 但我想起来我得去给孩子们换尿布了 |
| [11:36] | which means I’m gonna have to take all four kids, | 这就意味着我得照顾四个孩子 |
| [11:38] | and it’s cold out, which means the kids will get sick, | 而且现在外面天气冷 孩子们会病的 |
| [11:40] | then I’ll get sick, then Marny gets sick, | 然后我病了 接着Marny病了 |
| [11:42] | then you’ll get sick, | 之后你病了 |
| [11:44] | and there’s no solution to this problem. | 这个问题就没办法解决啦 |
| [11:48] | You want me to babysit the kids for you? | 你想让我替你照看孩子吗 |
| [11:49] | You think you can handle that? | 你觉得自己能行吗 |
| [11:51] | Yes, I think I can handle it. | 我觉得我能行 |
| [11:53] | Okay, great. There you go. | 好吧 太棒了 这边来 |
| [11:56] | Ah, come on, let’s go up there. | 啊 来吧 到这儿来 |
| [11:59] | And another one. Collect ’em all. | 还有一个 把他俩接好喽 |
| [12:02] | All right, come over here and talk to my boys | 好吧 到这儿来和我的儿子们说说话 |
| [12:04] | and let them know how I expect them to behave | 告诉他们在我离开的时候 |
| [12:05] | while I’m gone. | 他们应该怎么表现 |
| [12:07] | Listen, boys, I’m leaving you here with your grandfather, | 听着 孩子们 我让外公留在这儿看你们 |
| [12:09] | and this is what I need you to do. | 然后你们需要这么做 |
| [12:11] | I’m gonna need you to eat all of this sugar. | 我要你们把这些糖都吃完 |
| [12:16] | All right? | 懂了吗 |
| [12:17] | I’m gonna need you to be on your worst behavior. | 我要你们表现出你们最差的一面 |
| [12:19] | I mean, I’m talking at your cousin’s baptism behavior. | 我特指在你们表弟洗礼时的行为 |
| [12:21] | You got it? | 听懂了吗 |
| [12:22] | All right, eat up. | 好了 开始吃吧 |
| [12:24] | All right. Oh, one last thing. | 好的 噢 还有最后一件事 |
| [12:27] | These are bad for their teeth. | 这些对他们的牙齿不好 |
| [12:30] | Wait, wait, wait, Gary. | 等等 等等 Gary |
| [12:31] | Sorry, diapers. Nope. Bye. | 对不起 给他换尿布吧 不给 拜拜 |
| [12:34] | Have fun! | 玩得开心 |
| [12:35] | Whoo! | 哇哦 |
| [12:38] | – Shh shh shh. – Agh! | – 嘘 嘘 嘘 – 啊 |
| [12:46] | All right, all right, everybody calm down. | 好了好了 大家安静下来吧 |
| [12:48] | Leave your grand– | 让你们的外 |
| [12:51] | What’s going on? | 这是怎么了 |
| [12:52] | Nothing. Everything’s fine. | 没什么啊 一切正常 |
| [12:54] | They’ve been on their best behavior. | 他们一直都表现得很好 |
| [12:56] | You’ve been on your best behavior with your grandpa? | 你们居然一直在外公面前表现得那么好 |
| [13:00] | What did I tell you? | 我是怎么告诉你们的 |
| [13:01] | We’re sorry, Dad. We couldn’t help it. | 对不起 爸爸 我们控制不住 |
| [13:03] | Grandpa’s the best. | 外公最好了 |
| [13:06] | You know what? I will deal with you two later. | 我待会儿再来对付你们俩 |
| [13:08] | Come on, go. | 快来 走吧 |
| [13:11] | What was that all about? | 这是怎么一回事 |
| [13:13] | Why wouldn’t you want them | 你为什么不想让他们 |
| [13:14] | to be on their best behavior with me? | 在我面前表现得乖一点呢 |
| [13:16] | All right, fine, | 好吧 |
| [13:17] | look, the truth is I wanted you to see how hard it was | 我其实只是想让你知道 |
| [13:20] | to be a stay-at-home dad. | 做一个家庭煮男型父亲有多难 |
| [13:22] | Why would you do that? | 你为什么要这么做 |
| [13:24] | Because you don’t respect me | 因为你不尊重我 |
| [13:25] | because I stay home while your daughter works. | 因为我呆在家里 而你女儿要在外工作 |
| [13:27] | Wait, you think that’s why I don’t respect you? | 等等 你觉得我不尊重你 |
| [13:31] | That’s ridiculous. | 荒谬 |
| [13:33] | The reason I don’t respect you | 我之所以不尊重你 |
| [13:35] | is because you don’t respect me. | 是因为你不尊重我 |
| [13:39] | – What? – You know what? | – 什么 – 你知道什么呀 |
| [13:40] | Vivian never wanted me to say anything, | Vivian什么都不想让我说 |
| [13:42] | but she’s not here, so I’m just gonna do it. | 但她不在这儿 所以我打算说出来 |
| [13:46] | You never came to me | 你从不来看我 |
| [13:48] | and asked my permission to marry my daughter, like a man should. | 也没点男子汉的样子 不征求我的同意就娶了我女儿 |
| [13:54] | How can I respect that? | 我要怎么尊重你 |
| [13:56] | I’m going back to my hotel room | 我要回我酒店房间了 |
| [13:58] | and finish watching 500 Days of Summer. | 去看完<和莎莫的500天> |
| [14:05] | I cannot believe you survived a shark attack. | 我真不敢相信你从鲨鱼嘴边逃了出来 |
| [14:10] | I’ve got 17 stitches under here | 我这儿缝了17针 |
| [14:12] | and another 30 behind the knee. | 膝盖后面还缝了30针 |
| [14:14] | Wow. | 天哪 |
| [14:15] | Peek under the shirt. | 往衬衫里面偷瞄 |
| [14:16] | That’s gotta be worth at least 40 points. | 这样至少得加40分 |
| [14:19] | You know, I would just like to make a toast to Nick | 我只想敬Nick一杯 |
| [14:21] | for setting this all up. | 为他所安排的这一切 |
| [14:23] | A toast. Five points. | 敬酒 五分 |
| [14:26] | Plus a dreamy look. That’s another seven points. | 还有一种想入非非的神情 这又能加7分 |
| [14:28] | Times two for the combination. | 两者合并还可以乘以二 |
| [14:31] | Um, Erica, I have an extra ticket to go see Book of Mormon next Friday. | 呃 Erica 我还有一张下周五<摩门经>的票 |
| [14:34] | I was wondering if you’d like to come with me. | 你愿不愿意和我一起去 |
| [14:36] | Oh, um, well, thanks, | 噢 呃 谢谢 |
| [14:40] | but no. | 不了 |
| [14:41] | – Oh. – What? | – 噢 – 什么 |
| [14:43] | Tonight was nice, and you seem like a really great guy, | 今夜真美妙 你看起来也是个很不错的小伙子 |
| [14:46] | but I’m just at that point in my life | 但我刚迈入人生的新阶段 |
| [14:48] | where I’m getting a little older, | 我现在更成熟了 |
| [14:49] | and I don’t wanna waste time | 我不想浪费时间 |
| [14:51] | and talk myself into things I don’t want. | 说服自己去做我不想做的事儿 |
| [14:53] | And the truth is, | 事实上 |
| [14:56] | you’re just a little too hairy for me. | 对我来说 你毛发有点过于旺盛 |
| [15:00] | You know, if you still want | 不过如果你仍旧希望 |
| [15:01] | to go to Book of Mormon as friends… | 我们能以朋友身份一起去看<摩门经>的话 |
| [15:02] | I do not. | 我不希望 |
| [15:04] | He could shave, you know? | 你知道吗 他可以剃毛的 |
| [15:06] | Let me take him home, shave him tonight, | 我今晚带他回家 给他剃剃 |
| [15:08] | we’ll do this whole thing again tomorrow. | 明天我们再重新来一次约会 |
| [15:12] | Game over. Too hairy. | 不用了 毛实在太长了 |
| [15:18] | How did it go? | 怎么样啦 |
| [15:21] | Were the kids merciless? | 孩子们是不是铁血无情 |
| [15:22] | No, we raised them too well. | 不是 我们把他们养太好了 |
| [15:24] | They’re only merciless with us. | 他们只对我们无情 |
| [15:28] | But I did get to the bottom of it. | 但我了解到事情的根源了 |
| [15:30] | Your dad doesn’t like me | 你爸之所以不喜欢我 |
| [15:31] | because I never asked him for permission to marry you. | 是因为我娶你时没征求他同意 |
| [15:34] | – What? – Mm-hmm. | – 什么 – 就是这样 |
| [15:36] | That’s crazy! | 这太疯狂了 |
| [15:38] | You didn’t ask him because I told you not to. | 你没去征询他意见是因为我要你别去啊 |
| [15:41] | I hate the idea of fathers marrying off their daughters. | 我讨厌父亲们把自己女儿嫁出去的主意 |
| [15:44] | He can’t give me away. | 他不能这么把我送出去 |
| [15:46] | I’m not a goat. | 我又不是一头羊 |
| [15:49] | No, you’re not. | 你当然不是 |
| [15:51] | You’re a tigress. | 你是一只母老虎 |
| [15:55] | Gary, we are not having sex right now. | Gary 我可没打算现在就做爱 |
| [15:59] | Eh, thought I’d give it a shot. | 呃 我想试试来着 |
| [16:01] | You know, I’m feeling a little frustrated. | 你知道的 我现在有点沮丧 |
| [16:04] | Chris, come on. We cannot figure out the points. | Chris 过来 我们算不出分来 |
| [16:06] | Help us settle this thing. | 帮我们解决下这件事吧 |
| [16:07] | Who won? My girl, who you liked– | 谁赢了啊 是我选的那个你倾心的女生 |
| [16:10] | Who thinks you’re a sasquatch. | 可她觉得你像北美野人 |
| [16:14] | Or my girl– | 还是我选的女生 |
| [16:15] | Who texted you a photo of her pretending to breast-feed her cat. | 她给你发了一张她装作母乳喂猫的照片 |
| [16:25] | Guys, stop, okay? | 伙计们 停下来好不好 |
| [16:27] | Nobody won tonight, and the only loser here is me. | 今晚谁都没赢 唯一的失败者是我 |
| [16:30] | So I’m glad that you have each other | 所以我很开心你们拥有彼此 |
| [16:32] | and that you’re having fun with my life, | 还能从我的生活中得到快乐 |
| [16:33] | but I’m not. | 可是我不快乐 |
| [16:37] | Wow. | 哇 |
| [16:40] | You’re really bumming me out right now. | 你现在真让我恼火 |
| [16:45] | Chris, we are so sorry. | Chris 我们真的很抱歉 |
| [16:48] | You are absolutely right. | 你一点错都没有 |
| [16:49] | We do want you to find someone that makes you happy. | 我们真的想让你找到一个能让你开心的人 |
| [16:53] | Thank you. | 谢了 |
| [16:55] | We do. We do. | 是真的 真的 |
| [16:57] | But I also want you to find someone that will benefit me in some way, | 不过我还是想你找个能带给我好处的人 |
| [17:01] | like a doctor or a local bartender. | 比如医生啦 或是当地酒保 |
| [17:04] | You know, I cannot pay $20 for a drink anymore. | 我可不能再为一杯酒花20美元了 |
| [17:06] | I won’t pay $20. | 我是不会花20美元的 |
| [17:19] | All right, I’m here. | 好吧 我来了 |
| [17:21] | What couldn’t you have told me on the phone? | 你有什么不能在电话里对我讲清楚的 |
| [17:23] | I’m taking you on a journey back to 2002. | 我要带你回到2002年的旅程 |
| [17:32] | Gary, What’s going on | Gary 你想干嘛 |
| [17:34] | Where’s Marny? Where are the kids? | Marny在哪儿 孩子们呢 |
| [17:36] | Well, I don’t have any kids. | 呃 我没有孩子 |
| [17:37] | Marny and I aren’t even married yet. | Marny和我还没结婚呢 |
| [17:39] | It’s 2002, remember? | 现在是2002年 记得吗 |
| [17:41] | Jimmy Carter just won the Nobel peace prize, | Jimmy Carter刚得了诺贝尔奖 |
| [17:44] | we lost musician Joe Strummer, | 音乐家Joe Strummer去世了 |
| [17:45] | and I’m ten years away from looking up those facts on Wikipedia. | 我跟维基百科上查得到的现实差了十年时间 |
| [17:50] | Is there a point you’re trying to make? | 你说的这些东西有意义么 |
| [17:52] | Yes. | 有啊 |
| [17:54] | I’m going back to the year that I fell madly in love with your daughter, | 我正回到我疯狂爱上你女儿的那一年 |
| [17:57] | a remarkable woman whose mix of brains and attitude scared the crap outta me. | 她是个非凡的女人 她智慧与人生态度的结合令我大吃一惊 |
| [18:04] | But I knew I had to make her my wife. | 但我知道我必须娶她 |
| [18:07] | Uh-huh. | 嗯哼 |
| [18:09] | Go on. | 继续 |
| [18:10] | Well, Mr. Baines, as you know, | 呃 Baines先生 |
| [18:13] | Marny and I are getting pretty serious, | 我和Marny之间是认真的 |
| [18:15] | so I reckon that one day– | 所以我估计有一天 |
| [18:17] | You reckon? | 你估计 |
| [18:20] | Come on, man, I’ve never done this before. | 天呐 我还从来没做过这事儿 |
| [18:23] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [18:28] | Sir, I love your daughter. | 先生 我很爱你的女儿 |
| [18:32] | She’s my best friend, | 她是我最好的朋友 |
| [18:33] | and I’m a better person with her in my life, | 是她让我成为一个更好的人 |
| [18:35] | and I will do everything within my power | 我会尽我全力 |
| [18:37] | to keep her safe and happy. | 让她安全 快乐 |
| [18:40] | So I’m here to ask for her hand in marriage. | 所以请您让我们在一起吧 |
| [18:45] | Mr. Baines, will you grant me permission to marry your daughter? | Baines先生 您能允许我娶您的女儿吗 |
| [18:54] | No. | 不能 |
| [18:55] | Come on, man, what do you mean no? | 噢 您这话是意思啊 |
| [18:58] | – No. – No? | – 我不允许 – 不允许 |
| [18:59] | Hey, hey. What’s going on here? | 嘿 嘿 发生什么事儿了 |
| [19:02] | I just asked your father permission to marry you | 我正在向你爸爸征求同意 让我娶你 |
| [19:04] | and he told me no. | 可他不干 |
| [19:06] | Gary, I told you I didn’t want you to ask for his permission. | Gary 我跟你说了我不想让你向他征求同意 |
| [19:10] | Not then, not now, not ever. | 过去不想 现在不想 永远都不想 |
| [19:13] | Wait, you told him not to ask me? | 等等 是你让他别向我征求同意的 |
| [19:16] | Yeah. I’m not yours to give away. | 是啊 我并不想让你把我送出去 |
| [19:19] | I’m not a goat. | 我不是一头羊 |
| [19:22] | No, she’s a tigress. | 当然不是 她是一只母老虎 |
| [19:27] | It’s just a sign of respect. | 这只是一种尊敬的表示 |
| [19:29] | Dad, I’m sorry that it hurt your feelings, | 爸 我很抱歉这伤害了你的感受 |
| [19:33] | but it’s not what I wanted. | 但这并不是我想要的 |
| [19:37] | What I admire about you the most | 我最敬佩你的一点就是 |
| [19:39] | is that while you’re the very definition of old-fashioned, | 虽然你十分守旧 |
| [19:43] | you raised your daughters | 你还是养育了你的女儿 |
| [19:45] | to be as strong and independent as any man. | 使她成为一个像男人一样强大和独立的女人 |
| [19:48] | Hmm. | 嗯哼 |
| [19:49] | And I love you for that. | 我真的很爱你这一点 |
| [19:51] | Well, I am a good father. | 呃 我是一个好父亲 |
| [19:54] | The best. | 最好的父亲 |
| [19:57] | Top two. | 也就第二名吧 |
| [20:00] | Gary Gary… | |
| [20:02] | You could have told me she told you not to, | 你本来可以告诉我 是她要你别向我征求同意的 |
| [20:04] | but you didn’t, | 可你没有 |
| [20:05] | because you put Marny’s feelings over mine, | 因为你把Marny的感受看得比我的更重要 |
| [20:08] | and I have to respect that. | 我不得不敬佩这一点 |
| [20:11] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [20:13] | So you like me now? | 所以你现在喜欢我啦 |
| [20:17] | I said I respect you now. | 我是说我现在尊重你了 |
| [20:22] | That’s good enough, Dad. | 这就够了 爸 |
| [20:24] | Judge. | 是法官 |
| [20:26] | Judge Dad? | 法官爸爸 |
| [20:29] | Judge Judge. | 法官 是法官啊 |
| [20:32] | I miss Vivian. | 我很想Vivian啊 |
| [20:33] | You know, let’s not leave her at home next time. | 下次别把她单独留在家里了 |
| [20:37] | Hey! | 嘿 |
| [20:39] | Hey! | 嘿 |
| [20:40] | Hey, come here. Come here! | 嘿 到这儿来 来啊 |
| [20:42] | Yeah! | 耶 |
| [20:43] | Ah. | 啊 |
| [20:44] | Now he has a little cold tonight, | 今晚他有点儿感冒 |
| [20:46] | so have fun trying to get to sleep. | 约会真尽兴 你都可以直接去睡了 |
| [20:49] | Still be more fun than my dates. | 这是比我其他那些约会有趣得多 |
| [20:51] | Oh, well, don’t give up. | 噢 呃 别放弃啊 |
| [20:53] | Remember our first date wasn’t so great. | 记得不 我们的第一次约会并不是很棒 |
| [20:55] | The picnic? Ew. | 那次野炊么 糟透了 |
| [20:57] | That’s right. | 就是 |
| [20:59] | Oh, and then we got divorced. | 噢 然后我们就离婚了 |
| [21:02] | Listen, Chris, as hard as dating is, | 听着 Chris 虽然约会难得很 |
| [21:04] | we can’t give up. | 可我们不能放弃 |
| [21:06] | There is someone out there who will love you | 总会有人爱你的 |
| [21:08] | the way you deserve. | 这是你应得的 |
| [21:09] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [21:12] | “And there’s someone out there for you too,” | “也总会有人爱你的” |
| [21:14] | is what you were supposed to say. | 你应该这么说的 |
| [21:17] | Um, there’s somebody out there– | 呃 总会有人 |
| [21:19] | – okay, no, no, it’s too late. Have a good night. | 好了 不 不 太晚了 晚安 |
| [21:21] | Although you won’t, | 尽管你不会 |
| [21:23] | because he also has a tooth coming in. | 因为小家伙开始长牙啦 |
| [21:24] | So bye-bye. Ha ha. | 所以拜拜啦 哈哈 |