| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | We are an unusual couple, ya know? | 我们是不寻常的一对 知道吧 |
| [00:07] | My wife and her flying saucers. | 我妻子和她的飞碟啊 |
| [00:09] | My husband and his indestructible head. | 我丈夫和他坚不可摧的脑袋啊 |
| [00:12] | Hello, dear. I’m Agnes, your neighbor to the right. | 亲爱的 我是艾格妮丝 你右边的邻居 |
| [00:15] | You’re like a walking computer. | 你就像台行走的电脑 |
| [00:16] | What? I most certainly am not. | 什么 我才不是呢 |
| [00:18] | Dinner with Mr. Hart and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart. | 跟哈特先生和他的好妻子一起吃饭 |
| [00:21] | What brought you here? | 你们为什么会来这里 |
| [00:22] | – How long have you been married? – Why did you come here? | -你们结婚多久了 -你们为什么搬来这里 |
| [00:25] | Damn it, why? | 该死 为什么 |
| [00:26] | Stop it. Stop it. | 停下 停下 |
| [00:30] | Vision, help him. | 幻视 帮帮他 |
| [01:15] | What was that? | 什么声音 |
| [01:26] | Wanda? | 旺达 |
| [01:27] | Yes, dear? | 怎么了 亲爱的 |
| [01:28] | Are you using your powers to turn on the light? | 你在用你的魔法开灯吗 |
| [01:31] | Yes, dear. | 是的 亲爱的 |
| [01:33] | Allow me, sweetheart. | 我来吧 亲爱的 |
| [01:40] | What do you see? | 你看到了什么 |
| [01:42] | Only your lovely rose bushes. | 只看到你那些可爱的玫瑰花丛 |
| [01:44] | That’s all? | 没别的了吗 |
| [01:46] | Are you using your night vision, Vision? | 你用了你的夜视吗 幻视 |
| [01:48] | I assure you, my love, I see nothing amiss. | 我向你保证 亲爱的 我什么都没看到 |
| [01:50] | You have absolutely no reason to be frightened… | 你根本不需要害怕… |
| [01:57] | You were saying? | 你刚刚说什么 |
| [01:59] | Actually, I did overhear a couple of lads at work | 其实最近我上班的时候听几个同事 |
| [02:01] | remarking on a few unsavory characters settling in the neighborhood. | 提起附近出现了一些麻烦人物 |
| [02:05] | Now, who knows what those ne’er-do-wells might be up to? | 谁知道那些无所事事的家伙会干什么 |
| [02:08] | Robbing houses, vandalizing property. | 抢房子啊 搞破坏啊 |
| [02:10] | Walking through walls, moving objects without touching them. | 穿墙啊 不用手就能把东西移来移去吗 |
| [02:13] | Wanda, darling, you can’t be suggesting | 旺达 亲爱的 你不会想说 |
| [02:14] | my colleagues were referring to us. | 我的同事们说的是我们吧 |
| [02:20] | One of us should really determine the source of that sound. | 我们中得有一个人搞清楚这声音到底是哪里来的 |
| [02:23] | Yes, one of us should. | 是啊 得有一个人 |
| [02:27] | Oh, this is getting ridiculous. | 真是太扯了 |
| [02:30] | I’m going to take a look. | 我要看一看 |
| [02:32] | Oh, God! Darling! | 天啊 亲爱的 |
| [02:39] | Well, I think we handled that well. | 看来我们应付得很好 |
| [02:41] | Yes, I must say I’m rather proud of myself. | 是的 我要声明我很自豪 |
| [02:43] | And look how you seized on the opportunity to redecorate. | 瞧瞧你多么会把握重新装修的机会啊 |
| [02:47] | This is better, isn’t it? | 这样更好吧 |
| [02:53] | Wanda, darling? | 旺达 亲爱的 |
| [02:54] | Yes, dear? | 怎么了 亲爱的 |
| [02:56] | Get the light. | 关灯 |
| [03:15] | ♪ WandaVision! ♪ | ♪ 旺达幻视 ♪ |
| [03:27] | ♪ WandaVision! ♪ | ♪ 旺达幻视 ♪ |
| [03:32] | 主演 旺达·马克西莫夫 | |
| [03:40] | ♪ WandaVision Wa-WandaVision ♪ | ♪ 旺达幻视 旺达幻视 ♪ |
| [03:43] | ♪ WandaVision Wa-WandaVision ♪ | ♪ 旺达幻视 旺达幻视 ♪ |
| [03:46] | ♪ WandaVision Wa-WandaVision ♪ | ♪ 旺达幻视 旺达幻视 ♪ |
| [03:49] | 旺 达 幻 视 | |
| [03:49] | 第 二 集 | |
| [03:49] | ♪ WandaVision! ♪ | ♪ 旺达幻视 ♪ |
| [03:54] | Ladies and gentlemen, for my final trick, | 女士们 先生们 最后一个魔法 |
| [03:58] | I bring you the Cabinet of Mysteries. | 我将为你们带来 神秘柜 |
| [04:05] | Darling, that’s your cue. | 亲爱的 你该上场了 |
| [04:06] | You said, “Cabinet of Mysteries?” | 你说了”神秘柜”吗 |
| [04:07] | I said, “The Cabinet of Mysteries.” | 我说了”神秘柜” |
| [04:12] | Oh, that’s my cue. | 那我该出场了 |
| [04:14] | Holy Toledo! | 我的老天啊 |
| [04:16] | Darling, do all the other acts in the talent show | 亲爱的 那个才艺秀的其他表演节目 |
| [04:20] | have such elaborate props? | 都要用这么精良的道具吗 |
| [04:23] | Are you kidding? | 你在开玩笑吗 |
| [04:24] | Fred and Linda are building a moat | 弗雷德和琳达要做一条护城河 |
| [04:26] | and a fully-functioning portcullis and no one even knows why. | 还有一扇能开合的吊闸 鬼知道是为什么 |
| [04:29] | Let’s keep going. | 我们继续 |
| [04:30] | Yes, yes. Where was I? Um… | 对 对 我说到哪里了 |
| [04:32] | Watch closely as I, Illusion, Master of Enigma, | 看好了 我是幻术大师 充满了神秘 |
| [04:36] | make my captivating assistant, Glamour, disappear. | 我将让我迷人的美艳助手凭空消失 |
| [04:43] | You really are very dashing. | 你真的很有范儿 |
| [04:45] | Mmm, thank you, darling. | 谢谢你 亲爱的 |
| [04:47] | Fear not, Glamour. | 不要害怕 美艳助手 |
| [04:49] | For I, Illusion, vow to bring you back exactly as you are. | 我幻术大师保证将会让你完好归来 |
| [04:55] | Abracadabra! | 阿布拉卡达布拉 |
| [05:05] | Yes, um, Wanda, you’re not at all worried | 好吧 旺达 你就不担心 |
| [05:09] | that the audience might just see through this little charade? | 这些观众可能会看穿这个小把戏吗 |
| [05:14] | Well, that’s the whole point. | 这就是这个表演的意义啊 |
| [05:15] | In a real magic act, everything is fake. | 真正的魔术表演中 一切都是假的 |
| [05:19] | Darling, the talent show fundraiser | 亲爱的 才艺秀募捐会 |
| [05:21] | is the most important event of the season | 是每季度最重要的事 |
| [05:23] | and it’s our neighborly duty to participate. | 我们住在这里就有义务参加 |
| [05:26] | Plus, it’s our chance to | 再说了 我们这样 |
| [05:27] | appear as normal as possible while doing so. | 也是一个尽量假装正常人的好机会 |
| [05:30] | Well, I don’t think that should be a problem. | 我觉得那应该不成问题 |
| [05:33] | This is our home now. | 现在这里是我们的家了 |
| [05:36] | I want us to fit in. | 我希望我们可以融入进来 |
| [05:39] | Oh, darling, we do. We shall. | 亲爱的 我们融入了 我们会的 |
| [05:43] | And we’re gonna knock their socks off, | 我们会把他们的袜子都惊艳掉 |
| [05:45] | especially with you wearing this. | 特别是等你穿上这个 |
| [05:49] | Oh, that’s actually the rest of your costume. | 这正好是从你的服装上抠出来的那一块呢 |
| [05:55] | Well, I better get going | 要是我还想赶上 |
| [05:56] | if I’m gonna make the planning committee meeting. | 筹备委员会会议 就得赶紧出发了 |
| [05:58] | That’s me off as well, actually. | 我其实也要忙这事 |
| [06:00] | There’s a gathering of the neighborhood watch | 社区联防会要在公共图书馆 |
| [06:02] | at the public library. | 集合开会 |
| [06:03] | And after last night’s excitement, | 在经过昨天刺激的一晚以后 |
| [06:06] | I want to make sure this town’s security is up to snuff. | 我要确保这个小镇的绝对安全 |
| [06:09] | That’s a swell idea. | 真是一个好主意 |
| [06:12] | You tell those tree branches who’s boss. | 告诉那些树杈子 谁才是老大 |
| [06:16] | Would you look at us? | 瞧瞧我们啊 |
| [06:18] | Wanda and Vision, Westview fitter-inners. | 旺达和幻视 融入西景的居民 |
| [06:23] | I’ll see you at curtain call. | 谢幕时见 |
| [07:35] | Look, it’s the star o’ the show. | 瞧啊 是我们的大主演 |
| [07:39] | Agnes. | 艾格妮丝 |
| [07:41] | I’m sorry. What did you say? | 不好意思 你刚刚说什么 |
| [07:43] | Oh, I brought my pet rabbit. For your magic act. | 我给你送我的宠物兔 给你们的魔术表演的 |
| [07:46] | Yes, of course! Thank you, Agnes. | 对了 谢谢你 艾格妮丝 |
| [07:50] | We will take good care of him. | 我们会照顾好它的 |
| [07:53] | Senor Scratchy just loves the stage. | 挠挠先生最喜欢舞台了 |
| [07:56] | He played baby Jesus in last year’s Christmas pageant. | 它在去年的圣诞盛典上扮演了婴儿耶稣呢 |
| [08:03] | Oh, morning, Dennis. | 早上好 丹尼斯 |
| [08:05] | Morning, Agnes. | 早上好 艾格尼丝 |
| [08:07] | Stick ’em up. | 举起来 |
| [08:09] | Don’t shoot. I’m just a messenger. | 别开枪 我只是一个送信的 |
| [08:17] | – Shall we? – Oh, we shall. | -走吧 -好的 |
| [08:24] | So, are you ready to meet | 你准备好见见 |
| [08:26] | Queen Cul de Sac and her Merry Homemakers? | 屁股皇后和她的那群快乐的主妇了吗 |
| [08:28] | Agnes, Dottie can’t be as bad as you say. | 艾格尼丝 多蒂不会像你说的那么坏的 |
| [08:31] | Hmm, well, you’ll notice her roses bloom under penalty of death. | 你嗅一嗅她的玫瑰 就会被判死刑了 |
| [08:37] | Wanda, can I give you a bit of friendly advice? | 旺达 我能给你一点友好的建议吗 |
| [08:41] | Is it about the way how I’m dressed? | 是关于我的穿着吗 |
| [08:43] | Yes, but it’s too late for that. | 那也需要 不过已经太晚了 |
| [08:46] | Dottie is the key to everything in this town. | 多蒂是这个镇子上一切的关键 |
| [08:49] | Country club memberships, parties, school admissions… | 乡村俱乐部会员资格 派对 入学申请… |
| [08:53] | Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. | 还是别说得太早了 |
| [08:55] | You get in with Dottie and | 你和多蒂处好关系 |
| [08:56] | it’ll be smooth sailing from here on out. | 你在这里就能如鱼得水 |
| [08:59] | Just mind your P’s and Q’s and you’re gonna do just fine. | 凡事小心 你绝对没问题的 |
| [09:02] | Or maybe I could just be myself? More or less? | 或者也许我能或多或少地做我自己 |
| [09:10] | Oh, Wanda, that’s good. | 旺达 那也很好 |
| [09:16] | Everybody, hurry up please. | 大家快一点 |
| [09:19] | Hiya, Dottie! Your roses are divine. | 你好 多蒂 你的玫瑰真是太棒了 |
| [09:23] | Well, thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [09:33] | The Rotary Club is finishing the stage set-up as we speak. | 扶轮社在我们说话这会儿正在完成舞台布置 |
| [09:37] | They’ve given the gazebo a fresh coat of paint | 他们给凉亭重新刷了一层漆 |
| [09:39] | and will be installing the final decorations | 马上就要去镇广场上 |
| [09:41] | all through the town square. | 布置最后的装饰 |
| [09:43] | And if you recognize the antique footlights, | 如果你发现里面有古董脚灯 |
| [09:45] | it’s because they’re from my store. | 那是因为这是我店里出的 |
| [09:47] | And the chairs? | 椅子呢 |
| [09:51] | I’m sorry, Dottie. I didn’t ask about the chairs. | 很抱歉 多蒂 我没有问椅子的事 |
| [09:54] | So you better not ask me | 那你以后也不要问我 |
| [09:55] | if you can chair any committees in the future. | 能不能主持任何一个委员会了呢 |
| [10:01] | The devil’s in the details, Bev. | 恶魔往往藏在细节中 贝芙 |
| [10:03] | That’s not the only place he is. | 不仅仅只在细节中 |
| [10:05] | As you all know, the talent show | 大家都知道才艺秀 |
| [10:08] | is the sole fundraiser for Westview Elementary. | 是西景小学唯一的募捐会 |
| [10:11] | This might help. | 这也许能让你好过点 |
| [10:12] | In the eight years since I founded our little club, | 在我成立这个小团体的八年来 |
| [10:15] | this event has gotten bigger and better every season. | 这个盛会举办得越来越大 越来越好 |
| [10:18] | Say, those pants are peachy keen. | 这些裤子可真漂亮 |
| [10:21] | Do you really think so? | 你真的这么觉得吗 |
| [10:22] | The other ladies are in skirts. I was worried. | 其他女士都穿了裙子 我还担心呢 |
| [10:25] | We only have a few hours until show time, | 距离表演开始只有几个小时了 |
| [10:27] | so a little less cross chatter and a little more focus. | 所以少点闲聊 多点关注 |
| [10:31] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:32] | Those little boys and girls are counting on us. | 那些小男孩和小女孩都指望着我们呢 |
| [10:35] | All of this is for the children. | 一切都是为了孩子们 |
| [10:38] | “For the children.” | 为了孩子们 |
| [10:41] | “For the children.” | 为了孩子们 |
| [10:45] | So, I want you all to give yourselves a big hand… | 所以 我希望大家都要热烈鼓掌… |
| [10:52] | …at the appropriate time, of course. | 当然了 是在恰当的时机 |
| [10:55] | But first let’s review event etiquette. | 但首先 我们来回顾一下活动礼仪 |
| [10:59] | Dress code is upscale garden party… | 着装要求是高档花园派对… |
| [11:02] | The only reason I didn’t clap is because I’m afraid to move. | 我不鼓掌的唯一原因是我吓得不敢动了 |
| [11:05] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [11:07] | I actually don’t know what I’m doing here. | 我其实不知道自己来这儿干什么 |
| [11:08] | I’m starting to feel that way myself. I’m Wanda. | 我也有这种感觉了 我叫旺达 |
| [11:12] | I’m, uh… Geraldine. | 我是杰拉丁 |
| [11:16] | And I’m irritated. | 我是很生气 |
| [11:21] | Tickets for tonight are completely sold out. | 今晚的票卖得一张都不剩了 |
| [11:24] | Now, you can clap. | 大家可以鼓掌了 |
| [11:28] | And stop. | 停 |
| [11:30] | Really, how is anybody doing this sober? | 讲真 清醒的人怎么忍得了她这一套 |
| [11:43] | – Let’s say green. – Yeah. | -绿的吧 -嗯 |
| [11:45] | I mean, the other side could be dirt. | 另一边可能是尘土 |
| [11:47] | Pardon me. Is this the neighborhood watch meeting? | 打扰了 请问这是社区联防会吗 |
| [11:51] | Oh, hiya, Vision. | 你好 幻视 |
| [11:53] | Didn’t expect to see you here. | 没想到你会来参加 |
| [11:57] | This is sort of a “members only” type deal. | 其实我们在聊”仅限内部成员”那种话题 |
| [12:01] | Certainly. Right. Well… | 是啊 对 |
| [12:04] | I’ll just stay here and be as quiet as a church mouse | 我就安安静静默不作声地待着 |
| [12:06] | till you open up the floor for new business. | 等你们说到新的话题 |
| [12:09] | Well, in truth, we were just getting to new business. | 其实我们正好要说到新话题 |
| [12:12] | Oh, splendid! | 那太好了 |
| [12:13] | Could you tell me how often you rotate security patrols? | 能告诉我你们巡逻多久换一次岗吗 |
| [12:15] | Do you interface directly with local law enforcement? | 你们直接跟本地的执法部门对接吗 |
| [12:17] | What are your protocols regarding threats | 你们对于入室盗窃 |
| [12:19] | such as burglary, graffiti, and reckless driving? | 涂鸦和危险驾驶等威胁的规程是什么 |
| [12:21] | – No, Vision. – I know these are indeed grave matters. | -不 幻视 -我知道这些事情十分重要 |
| [12:25] | “New business” actually means another round of Danish. | “新话题”其实是再吃一轮酥皮点心的意思 |
| [12:29] | Raspberry or cheese-filled? | 你要树莓馅的还是奶酪馅的 |
| [12:32] | Oh, neither for me, thank you. I don’t eat food. | 谢谢 不必了 我不吃食物 |
| [12:40] | What I mean to say is that | 我是说 |
| [12:41] | I don’t eat food in between meals but at mealtimes. | 我两顿饭之间不吃食物 三餐还是吃的 |
| [12:44] | I’m a regular eating machine. | 按时吃饭有如机器 |
| [12:49] | Hey, fellas. Vision here has got a point. | 朋友们 幻视说得有道理 |
| [12:52] | Now, listen up. I got some top secret intelligence for you. | 听我说 我有绝密情报要告诉你们 |
| [12:56] | Oh, excellent. | 太好了 |
| [12:58] | Now, you know how Johnson’s been braggin’ about | 你们知道约翰逊一直在吹嘘 |
| [13:00] | that treehouse he built for his kids? | 他亲手为孩子们建的树屋吗 |
| [13:02] | Yeah. | 知道 |
| [13:03] | It’s a prefab job. | 其实是预置的 |
| [13:06] | That blockhead can’t even swing a hammer. | 那个傻瓜连挥锤子都不会 |
| [13:09] | I can do you one better. | 我给你们讲个更好的 |
| [13:11] | You know those bowling trophies Arthur’s always polishing? | 你们知道亚瑟常常擦拭的那些保龄球奖杯吗 |
| [13:14] | He bought ’em all at a yard sale in Hackensack. | 那些都是他从哈肯萨克的庭院跳蚤市场买的 |
| [13:17] | I knew it. I’ve never once seen him down at the lanes. | 我就知道 我从来没在保龄球场见过他 |
| [13:22] | I too have some top secret gossip to share. | 我也有绝密八卦要分享 |
| [13:28] | Norm here’s a Communist. | 诺曼是个共产党人 |
| [13:40] | Vision, you’re a real cut-up. | 幻视 你真会开玩笑 |
| [13:42] | You know, I always thought you were kind of a square. | 我总觉得你有点方头方脑的 |
| [13:44] | Me? No, I’m as round as they come. | 我吗 不 我圆得很 |
| [13:48] | Hey, care for a stick o’ Big Red? | 想来一条大红口香糖吗 |
| [13:52] | Well, hold on there a second. | 等一下 |
| [13:53] | Didn’t you hear the man? He doesn’t eat food. | 你没听他说吗 他不吃食物的 |
| [13:55] | Is gum food? | 口香糖算是食物吗 |
| [13:56] | Well, my understanding is that it’s purely for mastication. | 我觉得这种东西纯粹是为了咀嚼 |
| [14:00] | No, I don’t do that. | 我不嚼 |
| [14:03] | Well, when in Westview… Cheers. | 既然都来西景了… 干杯 |
| [14:07] | Who knew you were such a funny guy? | 原来你是个这么风趣的人 |
| [14:09] | And to think you came here | 你刚进来的时候 |
| [14:10] | all hot and bothered about protocols and nonsense. | 还一心挂念着规程什么的 |
| [14:14] | We actually thought you were serious. | 我们还以为你是认真的 |
| [14:23] | He’s funny. All right, so, back to this barbeque. | 他真逗 好了 继续说烤肉的事 |
| [14:34] | That is why you never do a seating chart on an empty stomach. | 所以安排座位前一定要填饱肚子 |
| [14:38] | Golly, you’re a whiz at all this committee stuff, Dottie. | 天啊 多蒂 你真是这些委员会事务的魔法师 |
| [14:41] | Thank you for choosing me | 谢谢你今天选择我 |
| [14:42] | to help you clean up today. I feel so lucky. | 帮你收拾现场 我觉得好幸运 |
| [14:45] | You are. | 你的确很幸运 |
| [14:52] | I can’t help but wonder if you and I | 多蒂 我不禁在想 |
| [14:53] | haven’t gotten off on the wrong foot, Dottie. | 我们是不是一开始没给彼此留下好印象 |
| [14:56] | And I would like to correct that if I can. | 如果可以 我想扭转这一点 |
| [14:59] | And how would you do that? | 你要怎么做到 |
| [15:05] | I’ve heard things about you. | 我听说过关于你的传闻 |
| [15:09] | You and your husband. | 你和你丈夫 |
| [15:12] | Well, I don’t know what you’ve been told, | 我不知道你听说了什么 |
| [15:17] | but I assure you I don’t mean anyone any harm. | 但我向你保证 我对谁都没有恶意 |
| [15:23] | I don’t believe you. | 我不相信你 |
| [15:30] | Wanda. Wanda, can you read me, over? | 旺达 旺达 能收到吗 完毕 |
| [15:35] | – Wanda? – Who is that? | -旺达 -那是谁 |
| [15:37] | Wanda? | 旺达 |
| [15:43] | Who are you? | 你又是谁 |
| [15:45] | Wanda? | 旺达 |
| [15:47] | Wanda. | 旺达 |
| [15:49] | Who is doing this to you, Wanda? | 是谁把你变成这样了 旺达 |
| [15:52] | Wanda? Wanda? Wan… | 旺达 旺达 旺… |
| [15:59] | Dottie! | 多蒂 |
| [16:05] | You… Oh! | 你… |
| [16:13] | Pop quiz, Wanda. | 突击测验 旺达 |
| [16:16] | How does a housewife get a bloodstain out of white linen? | 家庭主妇如何洗掉白亚麻布上的血迹 |
| [16:22] | By doing it herself. | 答案是 自己洗 |
| [16:32] | They say a man is never fully-dressed | 人们说男人有这两样重要配饰 |
| [16:34] | without two important accessories. | 才算盛装打扮好了 |
| [16:37] | His special lady… | 他的特别女伴 |
| [16:41] | and his Strücker. | 和他的”男爵”手表 |
| [16:49] | Strücker. He’ll make time for you. | 男爵 他会为你腾出时间 |
| [17:10] | Glad I don’t have to follow this guy. | 幸好我不是跟在这男人后面表演 |
| [17:12] | Huh? What? | 什么 |
| [17:14] | Oh, but you’re gonna be great. | 但你会表现出色的 |
| [17:19] | What time is it now? | 现在几点了 |
| [17:20] | Mmm, two minutes after the last time you asked. | 从你上次问完 过了两分钟 |
| [17:23] | I don’t know where he could be. | 我不知道他在哪里 |
| [17:30] | Oh, is that him? | 那是他吗 |
| [17:32] | Well, it looks like he’s got a little hitch in his giddy-up. | 他看起来有点步履蹒跚 |
| [17:41] | Wanda, my little cabbage, you look smashing! | 旺达 我的小卷心菜 你看起来真美 |
| [17:49] | Vis. | 小幻 |
| [17:50] | Where have you been? | 你跑哪去了 |
| [17:52] | Uh, well, me and the boys were playing | 我和兄弟们玩了个 |
| [17:54] | a rather thrilling game of horses with shoes. | 很刺激的穿鞋马游戏 |
| [17:57] | No, that’s not it. | 不 不对 |
| [17:58] | Shoe horses! No. | 是鞋马 也不对 |
| [18:01] | Ah! Horse’s shoes. | 是马的鞋 |
| [18:02] | Listen, something strange happened with Dottie. | 听着 多蒂身上发生了奇怪的事 |
| [18:07] | Well, something strange happened before that, too. | 在那之前也发生了奇怪的事 |
| [18:10] | It’s hard to explain. | 我很难解释 |
| [18:11] | I was just playing with his shoes. | 我刚才在玩他的鞋子 |
| [18:15] | What is going on? | 到底怎么回事 |
| [18:16] | You are! | 该你了 |
| [18:20] | I want to thank you all for coming out | 非常感谢大家前来支持 |
| [18:22] | to support Westview Elementary, “For the children.” | 西景小学”为了孩子们”才艺秀 |
| [18:26] | “For the children.” | “为了孩子们” |
| [18:28] | And for our final act… | 最后一个节目 |
| [18:30] | I give you, Wanda and Vision. | 请欢迎 旺达和幻视 |
| [18:51] | Hey! Hey! You’re up, Cowboy! | 喂 该你上了 牛仔 |
| [18:54] | What? | 什么 |
| [18:56] | Oh! Yeah! I’ve to go! | 对 该我上了 |
| [18:59] | Hello, Westview! Good afternoon. | 下午好 西景的朋友们 |
| [19:02] | It’s so lovely to be… | 非常高兴来到 |
| [19:04] | I’m so sorry. Excuse me. | 对不起 不小心的 |
| [19:06] | I am Glamour | 我是美艳大师 |
| [19:07] | and this is my delightful assistant, Illusion. | 这是我可爱的助手 幻术小姐 |
| [19:10] | I am Glamour and he’s Illusion. | 我才是美艳小姐 他是幻术大师 |
| [19:15] | Yeah, what she said. | 她说得对 |
| [19:17] | Today, we will lie to you | 今天我们会骗你们 |
| [19:20] | and yet you will believe our little deceptions | 但你们却会相信我们的小把戏 |
| [19:23] | because human beings are easily fooled | 因为人类对宇宙的内部运作 |
| [19:25] | due to their limited | 理解有限 |
| [19:26] | understanding of the inner workings of the universe. | 所以很容易被骗 |
| [19:30] | Flourish! | 瞧好了 |
| [19:31] | You just do it, you don’t say it out loud, honey. | 别大声说出来了 赶紧表演 亲爱的 |
| [19:34] | And now my wife and I will delight | 现在我和我太太就等着看 |
| [19:38] | in your dumbstruck little faces. | 你们的蠢脸上的吃惊表情了 |
| [19:42] | Flourish! | 瞧好了 |
| [19:58] | Ha! See there? He’s using a rope. | 看到了吗 他用了绳子 |
| [20:01] | Wanda, what’s… Oh, no! Oh! No! Wanda, please! | 旺达 怎么回事 不不不 旺达 拜托 |
| [20:05] | Darling, let me down! | 亲爱的 放我下来 |
| [20:08] | I’m feeling pukey! | 我要吐了 |
| [20:16] | Uh, what’s next? | 接下来是什么来着 |
| [20:18] | Oh! Yeah, this is… This is gonna be great! | 想起来了 是非常精彩的一个节目 |
| [20:23] | A staggering feat of strength. | 展现我的超凡实力 |
| [20:32] | Illusion… | 幻术大师 |
| [20:35] | Illusion, Master of Enigma, allow me. | 充满神秘的幻术大师 让我试试 |
| [20:40] | What? | 什么 |
| [20:47] | You weren’t supposed to see how we did that trick. | 我们变戏法的秘密可不该让观众看见啊 |
| [20:51] | That was my grandmother’s piano. | 那是我祖母的钢琴 |
| [20:54] | Oh, Sherbert! Yeah, this is my old mate, Sherbert. | 谢布特 这是我的老朋友 谢布特 |
| [20:58] | Stand up, Sherbert. Say hello to the crowd. | 快起来 谢布特 跟大家问个好 |
| [21:00] | It’s Herbert, Herb. | 我是赫布特 赫 |
| [21:02] | Pipe down, Sherbie, and pick a card. Any card. | 安静点 谢布 选一张牌 随便选 |
| [21:06] | Yeah, put it back in the deck. | 现在放回牌堆里 |
| [21:09] | I’m not looking. All right. Watch this. | 我没看哦 好了 看我的 |
| [21:14] | Is this your card? | 这是你的牌吗 |
| [21:16] | Uh, no. | 不是 |
| [21:19] | I beg to differ. | 我可不同意 |
| [21:22] | Really? Is this your card? | 真的吗 这是你的牌吗 |
| [21:25] | Vision… | 幻视 |
| [21:28] | Is this your card? Is this your card? | 这是你的牌吗 这是你的牌吗 |
| [21:30] | Is this your card? Is this your card? | 这是你的牌吗 这是你的牌吗 |
| [21:32] | Is this your card? | 这是你的牌吗 |
| [21:35] | Argh! Is this your card? Is this your card? | 这是你的牌吗 这是你的牌吗 |
| [21:36] | – No. No. No. No. – Is this your card? | -不是 -这是你的牌吗 |
| [21:37] | Is this your card? Is this your card? | 这是你的牌吗 这是你的牌吗 |
| [21:40] | Is this your card? | 这是你的牌吗 |
| [21:42] | Oh, it is! | 这张是 |
| [21:43] | It is what? | 是什么 |
| [21:45] | It’s my card. | 是我的牌 |
| [21:46] | Well, pardon me, Herb. Have it back. | 不好意思 赫布 还给你 |
| [21:50] | Oh, no, you did the trick right. | 不 是你的魔术成功了 |
| [21:52] | Well, of course I did the trick right! I’m Illusion! | 我的魔术当然成功了 我可是幻术大师 |
| [21:54] | Flourish! | 瞧好了 |
| [22:00] | And now, for my next trick… | 现在 我的下一个魔术 |
| [22:02] | Oh, goodness me. | 我的老天 |
| [22:04] | Who stole my hat? | 谁偷走了我的帽子 |
| [22:06] | Oh! Oh, stop that rabbit! | 快 抓住那只兔子 |
| [22:08] | I gotta need to pull a hat out of it. | 我得从兔子里变出一顶帽子 |
| [22:11] | Senor Scratchy’s got real star quality, don’t you think? | 挠挠先生有当大明星的潜质 是不是 |
| [22:15] | Maybe we leave the poor bunny out this one, shall we? | 我们别折腾可怜的小兔子了 好吗 |
| [22:18] | Well then, I will just have to pull this hat… | 那好吧 那我就把这顶帽子 |
| [22:23] | …out of myself. | 从我身体里变出来 |
| [22:26] | Vision, no. | 幻视 别 |
| [22:28] | I’m doin’ it. | 我要开始了 |
| [22:36] | If only you all knew our secret. | 大家肯定不知道我们怎么变的 |
| [22:44] | Is that how mirrors work? | 镜子能起到这个作用吗 |
| [22:46] | Shut up, Bev. | 闭嘴 贝芙 |
| [22:48] | And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our grand finale. | 女士们先生们 现在是我们的压轴大戏 |
| [22:53] | I bring you, The Magnet of Crysteries! | 我为大家带来 神柜秘 |
| [22:58] | The Cabinet of Mysteries! | 是神秘柜 |
| [22:59] | Yeah, yeah. What she said. | 对 对 就是她说的这个 |
| [23:03] | I will now make my wife… | 现在 我要让我的妻子 |
| [23:07] | …disappear. | 消失不见 |
| [23:10] | Are you sure you don’t want | 你确定你不需要观众志愿者吗 |
| [23:11] | an audience volunteer named “My husband Ralph?” | 比如我丈夫拉夫 |
| [23:21] | No. Abracadabra! | 不要 阿布拉卡达布拉 |
| [23:25] | – Uh, sweetheart? – Yeah? | -亲爱的 -怎么了 |
| [23:29] | Hi. | 我在这呢 |
| [23:33] | What’s in the box? | 柜子里有什么 |
| [23:35] | What’s in the box? What’s in the box? What’s in the box? | 柜子里有什么 柜子里有什么 |
| [23:39] | Yeah, what’s in the box? | 对啊 柜子里有什么 |
| [23:40] | What’s in the box? What’s in the box? | 柜子里有什么 柜子里有什么 |
| [23:43] | What’s in the box? What’s in the box? | 柜子里有什么 柜子里有什么 |
| [23:55] | Oh, yes! | 太棒了 |
| [23:56] | Flourish. | 瞧好了 |
| [24:05] | Let’s get outta here. | 我们走吧 |
| [24:07] | Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. | 对不起 对不起 我很抱歉 |
| [24:08] | – I’m so stupid. – Vis? Vis, it’s all right. | -我太蠢了 -小幻 没关系 |
| [24:10] | It’s all right. It’s all right. It’s all right. | 没事 没关系 |
| [24:12] | But what is going on with you? | 但是你到底怎么了 |
| [24:14] | I have no idea. I’ve been feeling weirdy all day. | 我不知道 我今天一直感觉很奇怪 |
| [24:18] | Okay. Okay. Okay. | 好 好的 没事 |
| [24:32] | Would you look at that? | 你看看啊 |
| [24:34] | That really gummed up my works, didn’t it? | 把我的零件都黏住了 对吧 |
| [24:40] | I’m not as funny without it, am I? | 没有这个我就没那么好玩了吧 |
| [24:42] | Well, you’re back to yourself and that’s all I care about. | 你恢复正常了 这是我唯一在意的事 |
| [24:45] | Now, let’s get out of here before Dottie | 现在 让我们赶在多蒂和规划委员会 |
| [24:47] | and the planning committee string us up for ruining the show. | 指责我们破坏了整场表演之前离开 |
| [24:59] | You two, stop right there. | 你们两个 站住 |
| [25:05] | Nothing like what you two just did up here | 我们的才艺秀上从来没有出现过 |
| [25:09] | has ever happened in the history of our talent show. | 像你们俩刚才那样的表演 |
| [25:14] | Dottie, we are so… | 多蒂 我们非常 |
| [25:17] | Hilarious. | 太搞笑了 |
| [25:21] | That was the most hilarious act we’ve ever seen. | 这是我们看过的最搞笑的表演了 |
| [25:25] | Wouldn’t you all agree? | 你们说是不是 |
| [25:27] | Yeah. | 是 |
| [25:31] | Oh, yes. | 就是这样 |
| [25:33] | You two, come on up. Come on. | 你们两个上台来 上来 |
| [25:37] | On behalf of the planning committee, | 我代表规划委员会 |
| [25:40] | I would like to award you | 向你们颁发首届 |
| [25:41] | with the inaugural Comedy Performance of the Year. | 年度最佳喜剧表演奖 |
| [25:46] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [26:03] | I have to ask. | 我想问一下 |
| [26:04] | One second, I’m backstage and in the next, | 上一秒我还在后台 下一秒 |
| [26:07] | I’m in a dark cubby hole. | 我就出现在一个小暗室里 |
| [26:09] | How’d you do it? | 你是怎么做到的 |
| [26:10] | Oh, a magician never reveals his secrets. | 一位魔术师从来不会泄露魔术的秘密 |
| [26:12] | He leaves that to his assistant. | 他都交给助手来解答 |
| [26:14] | And she’s not talking. | 助手也不会说的 |
| [26:17] | I had a feeling you’d say that. | 我就知道你会这么说 |
| [26:24] | “For the children!” | “为了孩子们” |
| [26:25] | “For the children!” | “为了孩子们” |
| [26:33] | You were tremendous, Glamour. | 你真是太棒了 美艳助手 |
| [26:36] | As were you, Illusion. | 你也是 幻术大师 |
| [26:41] | I don’t know what I was so worried about. | 我都不知道我之前在担心些什么 |
| [26:44] | It wasn’t so hard to fit in after all. | 搞好邻里关系也不是这么难呀 |
| [26:47] | And all we had to do was be ourselves. | 我们只需要做自己就好了 |
| [26:50] | Well, with a few modifications. | 但是需要做一点点的改变 |
| [26:53] | – And it was all for the children. – For the children. | -都是为了孩子们 -为了孩子们 |
| [26:57] | Well, I think the children might need some popcorn. | 我想孩子们需要来一点爆米花 |
| [27:01] | Wanda. | 旺达 |
| [27:02] | Hmm, what? | 怎么了 |
| [27:08] | Vision… Is this really happening? | 幻视 这一切是真的吗 |
| [27:15] | Yes, my love. | 是真的 亲爱的 |
| [27:17] | It’s really happening. | 这一切都是真的 |
| [27:20] | If it’s that damn tree again, | 如果还是那棵该死的树 |
| [27:22] | I am going to rip it out by the roots! | 我一定把它连根拔了 |
| [27:33] | I don’t see anything. | 我什么都没看到 |
| [27:46] | What is that? | 怎么了 |
| [27:55] | Wanda. | 旺达 |
| [28:12] | No. | 不 |
| [28:22] | Vision… Is this really happening? | 幻视 这一切是真的吗 |
| [28:28] | Yes, my love. | 是真的 亲爱的 |
| [28:31] | It’s really happening. | 这一切都是真的 |
| [28:46] | Vision… | 幻视 |
| [29:20] | Wanda? Who’s doing this to you, Wanda? | 旺达 是谁把你变成这样了 旺达 |
| [29:25] | Wanda? | 旺达 |