| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.MY-SUBS.com | |
| [00:00] | WWW.MY-SUBS.COM | |
| [00:03] | Excuse me. | |
| [00:05] | Excuse me. Excuse me! | |
| [00:09] | This entire school has prom fever. | |
| [00:12] | That’s all anybody can talk about. | |
| [00:14] | “I’m going with Kaitlyn, I’m going with Spencer.” | |
| [00:16] | Does anybody care about, I don’t know, the environment, | |
| [00:19] | or perhaps the state of the economy? | |
| [00:21] | Nobody asked you yet? | |
| [00:22] | No. I don’t get it; I’m fun. | |
| [00:25] | Look, KC, you still have plenty of time. | |
| [00:28] | I still haven’t even decided who I’m going with. | |
| [00:30] | How many people have asked you? | |
| [00:32] | Just four… | |
| [00:35] | …teen. | |
| [00:39] | Fourteen. Wow. Well, I’m at negative one. | |
| [00:42] | What? Okay, come on, how could you be at negative one? | |
| [00:45] | Tony Picadello asked me, then he said, | |
| [00:47] | “Just kidding,” and ran away, laughing, so… | |
| [00:50] | KC, trust me. | |
| [00:52] | Someone fantastic is gonna ask you to prom. | |
| [00:56] | KC, would you make me the happiest guy in school and… | |
| [01:00] | Yes, yes, of course. | |
| [01:02] | Talk Marisa into going to prom with me. | |
| [01:04] | Of course. Knew that. | |
| [01:09] | Negative two. | |
| [01:56] | I keep it undercover. | |
| [01:59] | I keep it undercover. | |
| [02:04] | Hey, hey, hey. | |
| [02:07] | Hey, excuse me, excuse me. | |
| [02:08] | What are you two doing? | |
| [02:10] | You’re smooshing the couch cushions. | |
| [02:12] | Okay? Papa Earl will be here any minute | |
| [02:14] | with his new fiancée. | |
| [02:15] | We don’t wanna give him any reason to criticize Dad. | |
| [02:17] | We need to make sure everything is perfect. | |
| [02:20] | You heard her, Ernie. Pack your bags. | |
| [02:23] | – Hey, do not talk to Ernie like that. – Thank you. | |
| [02:26] | At least, not while Papa Earl’s here. | |
| [02:29] | We need to maintain the illusion | |
| [02:31] | that we love each other. | |
| [02:34] | In that case, I’ll go pack my bags. | |
| [02:37] | Guys, I’m serious, okay? | |
| [02:39] | We need to be loving and supportive of Dad right now. | |
| [02:42] | What the heck are you doing, you crazy old man? | |
| [02:47] | What is this holey old shirt? | |
| [02:49] | Oh, please, KC, no matter what I do, | |
| [02:51] | my dad’s gonna be on my case. | |
| [02:52] | Your dad’s right, KC. Papa Earl is who he is. | |
| [02:55] | Yeah, mean and critical and never has a nice thing to say about me. | |
| [03:00] | Hey, Papa Earl is in the house! | |
| [03:04] | Betty, I want you to meet my beautiful family, | |
| [03:07] | and this is my pride and joy. | |
| [03:11] | Oh, yeah. | |
| [03:15] | My boy, my boy. | |
| [03:17] | Oh, Earl, what is wrong with you? | |
| [03:20] | Let him go, come on, let him go… | |
| [03:22] | so I can hug him. | |
| [03:25] | Aw, look at that. | |
| [03:27] | And you were worried about Papa Earl coming to visit. | |
| [03:38] | Listen up, listen up, listen up. | |
| [03:40] | Am I the luckiest guy on Earth? | |
| [03:43] | I mean, I got the best son in the world. | |
| [03:45] | I got the most beautiful family. | |
| [03:48] | And now, I got this fabulous woman on my arm. | |
| [03:51] | I really scored, didn’t I? | |
| [03:53] | You’re not the only one. | |
| [03:55] | Betty gave me the greatest gift I’ve ever gotten. | |
| [03:57] | I thought you said I was your greatest gift. | |
| [03:59] | Things change. Keep up. | |
| [04:02] | So how did you lovebirds meet? | |
| [04:04] | And please talk slowly. | |
| [04:05] | She could use all the pointers she can get. | |
| [04:08] | Still can’t scare up a prom date. | |
| [04:12] | It was so romantic. | |
| [04:15] | I went to his office in gastric distress. | |
| [04:18] | Ooh, I was tootin’ more than a French horn. | |
| [04:22] | Well, feel free to skip to the romantic part. | |
| [04:26] | To make a long story short, | |
| [04:29] | I said to her, “I can’t take out your gallbladder.” | |
| [04:33] | And I said, “Why not?” And he said… | |
| [04:35] | Because I’d rather take out the rest of you. | |
| [04:43] | And we’ve been together ever since. | |
| [04:47] | You know, Betty, you look really familiar. | |
| [04:49] | I guess I got one of those kind of faces, | |
| [04:50] | because if we had met, I would’ve remembered | |
| [04:53] | a beauty like you. | |
| [04:54] | She is beautiful, isn’t she? | |
| [04:57] | Takes after her dad. | |
| [04:58] | Look at that bone structure. | |
| [05:01] | Like you were carved out of marble. | |
| [05:04] | Okay. | |
| [05:06] | Okay, thank you, Daddy. Thanks. | |
| [05:10] | What is going on with my father? | |
| [05:12] | What do you mean? | |
| [05:14] | This is a sign of affection. | |
| [05:16] | The only other sign I ever got from him | |
| [05:17] | was a “Do Not Disturb Me” sign. | |
| [05:19] | Your dad’s in a good mood, | |
| [05:22] | because he’s in love and he’s happy. | |
| [05:24] | So when he’s happy, | |
| [05:27] | he actually likes me? | |
| [05:32] | Is it too soon to call you Mommy? | |
| [05:36] | Oh, yeah. | |
| [05:41] | Psst. | |
| [05:45] | Don’t tell Papa Earl I told you, | |
| [05:46] | but we’re eloping to Las Vegas next week. | |
| [05:50] | I never could keep a secret. | |
| [05:52] | Secret, huh? | |
| [05:55] | Speaking of which, don’t tell your mom, | |
| [05:57] | but that bracelet, 16 bucks at the airport gift shop. | |
| [06:01] | Mm-hm. My mama always said, | |
| [06:02] | “Don’t arrive empty-handed, | |
| [06:05] | but don’t arrive with empty pockets either.” | |
| [06:14] | I’m worried about Betty. | |
| [06:16] | She told me that she couldn’t keep a secret, | |
| [06:18] | it got me thinking. | |
| [06:20] | You remember that cold case seminar that we took | |
| [06:22] | – at the Organization? – Yeah, that was a disappointment. | |
| [06:24] | I thought it was a cold cuts seminar. | |
| [06:27] | The whole time they were droning on about unsolved cases, | |
| [06:30] | and I was just hankering for hard salami on pumpernickel. | |
| [06:34] | I was paying attention. | |
| [06:37] | Check out this Margaret Turner case file. | |
| [06:40] | Okay, so in 1977, | |
| [06:42] | Margaret Turner stole secret files | |
| [06:44] | that compromised the Organization’s agents | |
| [06:46] | all over the world. | |
| [06:47] | The Organization tracked her to a hotel on F Street, | |
| [06:50] | but the only thing they found | |
| [06:52] | was a half-eaten room service waffle and a hairbrush. | |
| [06:54] | What a waste of a perfectly good waffle. | |
| [06:58] | Anyway… | |
| [07:01] | this was the only known photo of Margaret Turner. | |
| [07:03] | See? Right there. That is her, | |
| [07:06] | the woman who’s been using our decorative hand towels, | |
| [07:08] | Margaret Turner, the traitor. | |
| [07:12] | I don’t know what you’re talking about. | |
| [07:13] | That doesn’t look like Gammy to me. | |
| [07:15] | She’s not our Gammy. | |
| [07:17] | Look, Judy, can you use your photo recognition software? | |
| [07:22] | I can confirm, it is definitely… | |
| [07:26] | an old grainy image of a woman | |
| [07:28] | who may or may not be our Gammy Betty. | |
| [07:31] | Not our Gammy. | |
| [07:34] | Guys, come on, don’t you find it a little suspicious | |
| [07:36] | that, out of nowhere, | |
| [07:38] | suddenly some woman falls in love with Papa Earl? | |
| [07:41] | I think you should find it inspiring. | |
| [07:43] | It may take another 50 years, | |
| [07:44] | but you’ll find a prom date eventually. | |
| [07:54] | Earl, I don’t think I’ve seen you this happy. | |
| [07:57] | That Betty has put a sparkle in your eye. | |
| [07:59] | And a hop in my step. | |
| [08:01] | Not to mention, she put baking soda in my fridge. | |
| [08:03] | Apparently, it smelled like fish and whatnot. | |
| [08:07] | It’s so good to have a woman back in my life. | |
| [08:11] | Well, it’s been a pleasure getting to know Betty, | |
| [08:12] | and she should get to know me. | |
| [08:13] | Let her know that my birthstone is Sapphire. | |
| [08:16] | I mean, you deserve every bit of happiness. | |
| [08:20] | The happier you are, the happier I am. | |
| [08:22] | And that’s why you are my favorite son. | |
| [08:24] | Technically, he’s your only son. | |
| [08:26] | Hey, don’t be correcting my daddy. | |
| [08:28] | He said I’m his favorite, so I’m his favorite. | |
| [08:31] | Hey, Dad, can I talk to you for a second | |
| [08:34] | – in the backyard? – Yeah, sure. | |
| [08:40] | Look, Dad, I, uh, I have some information. | |
| [08:43] | It turns out that Betty’s real name is Margaret Turner. | |
| [08:46] | She’s a traitor who sold Organization secrets | |
| [08:48] | – back in the 1970’s. – How do you know it’s her? | |
| [08:51] | I looked into the Organization cold case files, | |
| [08:53] | and I found a picture. | |
| [08:56] | Are you kidding me? | |
| [08:57] | I’ve seen pictures of Bigfoot clearer than this. | |
| [09:00] | Uh, excuse me. | |
| [09:03] | I have more proof. Yeah. | |
| [09:05] | She told me she couldn’t keep a secret. | |
| [09:08] | And get this. | |
| [09:10] | Mom’s fancy little bracelet, | |
| [09:11] | airport gift shop. | |
| [09:13] | Do you know how crazy you sound right now? | |
| [09:17] | Listen. | |
| [09:19] | My dad is happy, which means he suddenly likes me. | |
| [09:22] | I don’t wanna hear another word about this | |
| [09:23] | unless you have real proof. | |
| [09:25] | Oh, good morning. | |
| [09:27] | Come on in, everybody. I’m makin’ waffles! | |
| [09:31] | Yeah. | |
| [09:34] | That! That right there. | |
| [09:36] | That was another piece of information in the file. | |
| [09:38] | Margaret Turner liked waffles. | |
| [09:47] | Who’s crazy now? | |
| [09:52] | KC, everybody likes waffles. | |
| [09:54] | They have syrup-holding pockets! | |
| [09:59] | Get proof or get lost. | |
| [10:06] | Doesn’t look like Bigfoot to me. | |
| [10:13] | Well, so… | |
| [10:17] | What are you girls up to? | |
| [10:19] | Judy and I? | |
| [10:20] | We were just playing this little game | |
| [10:22] | I like to play; you should join. | |
| [10:24] | It’s called “Where Was I In the Spring of 1977”? | |
| [10:26] | Okay, I’ll go first. Um… | |
| [10:29] | I wasn’t born. | |
| [10:31] | Uh, Judy, how about you? | |
| [10:33] | Oh, wasn’t born either. | |
| [10:35] | So, Betty, you’re up. | |
| [10:39] | KC, can I tell you a little secret? | |
| [10:41] | Not that you could stop yourself. | |
| [10:43] | My memory’s not what it used to be. | |
| [10:45] | 1977… | |
| [10:48] | I can barely remember | |
| [10:50] | what I ate for breakfast this morning. | |
| [10:54] | It was waffles. | |
| [10:56] | Waffles and lies. | |
| [10:59] | KC, did you ever just consider | |
| [11:01] | she’s just a nice lady who likes your grandfather? | |
| [11:04] | Oh, go charge yourself. | |
| [11:10] | – Hey. – What is that? | |
| [11:12] | Just a little project I’ve been working on. | |
| [11:15] | Are you doing schoolwork? | |
| [11:16] | Oh, don’t be ridiculous. | |
| [11:20] | I came up with a solution | |
| [11:21] | to your little prom-blem. | |
| [11:26] | Prom-blem. Did you see what I did there? | |
| [11:29] | Yeah. In fact, they can see it from the space station. | |
| [11:33] | Look, I thought, instead of waiting for some guy | |
| [11:35] | to ask you, why don’t you do the asking? | |
| [11:37] | I would, but everybody’s taken. | |
| [11:38] | Bup-bup-bup. I have here in my hands | |
| [11:42] | the board of availability. | |
| [11:46] | Here’s a list of every available guy in school, | |
| [11:49] | along with their height, weight, | |
| [11:50] | and likelihood to rent a limo. | |
| [11:52] | You know, the important things. | |
| [11:54] | What about their personalities? | |
| [11:56] | Tick-tock, you want a date or not? | |
| [11:59] | Now just pick any one of these guys. | |
| [12:02] | No, except Bobby Wilcox. | |
| [12:07] | And Bobby Whitsett. | |
| [12:10] | Marisa, give it up. This whole thing is hopeless. | |
| [12:13] | Oh, come on, KC. Don’t give up the fight. | |
| [12:16] | There’s still plenty of available guys | |
| [12:18] | at Franklin, Roseland, and Morgan Park. | |
| [12:20] | Marisa, those are all junior high schools. | |
| [12:22] | Hey, you know what? Some of those guys are really mature. | |
| [12:35] | Okay, so we need to find Margaret Turner’s case file, | |
| [12:39] | and then we need to get the hairbrush out of it so we can have a DNA sample. | |
| [12:42] | Wow, this cold case storage room | |
| [12:44] | has more dirt than Marisa’s diary. | |
| [12:46] | How would you know? | |
| [12:48] | I didn’t become a hacker just to save the world. | |
| [12:52] | All right, the case files should be | |
| [12:55] | in section five. | |
| [12:57] | Row… | |
| [13:00] | double R, | |
| [13:02] | which is all the way up there. | |
| [13:04] | Ernie, start climbing. | |
| [13:06] | Why do I have to climb? Why can’t we send Judy? | |
| [13:08] | Because if I fall, it’ll cost a lot of money | |
| [13:11] | to repair me, but if you fall, no one’ll care. | |
| [13:14] | I’ll care! | |
| [13:17] | Listen, Papa Earl’s happiness depends on what we find. | |
| [13:19] | Come on, man, start climbing. | |
| [13:21] | All right. | |
| [13:23] | Just so you know, if I fall, | |
| [13:25] | I’m aiming for you. | |
| [13:33] | Not seeing a row double R up here, guys, | |
| [13:37] | but I do see some tiny adorable puppies. | |
| [13:39] | Wait, they’re not puppies. | |
| [13:41] | They’re rats. | |
| [13:43] | Rats?! | |
| [13:48] | Oh, look at that. | |
| [13:51] | Section five, row double R was down here all along. | |
| [13:57] | Perfect. There’s still some hair on it. | |
| [13:59] | Great. Now we just have to get Betty’s DNA and compare the two. | |
| [14:02] | In case anyone was wondering, I’m okay. | |
| [14:05] | The rats broke my fall. | |
| [14:20] | How do we get her DNA? | |
| [14:22] | Blood’s always best. | |
| [14:26] | Don’t you dare. | |
| [14:29] | Look, all we’re gonna do is get a strand of her hair, | |
| [14:32] | and then compare the DNA samples. | |
| [14:34] | Go ahead, Ernie. | |
| [14:36] | What’s with the “go ahead, Ernie”? | |
| [14:39] | You pull the strand of hair. | |
| [14:41] | I already fell off a shelving unit and took out a family of rats. | |
| [14:43] | I like the woman. You’re the one who’s suspicious. | |
| [14:46] | You do it. | |
| [14:49] | Okay, fine. Nobody needs you. | |
| [14:51] | Judy, go ahead. | |
| [15:06] | Sh! | |
| [15:19] | Okay, Plan B. | |
| [15:22] | I’ll get the DNA. | |
| [15:26] | Goin’ in. | |
| [15:33] | Get in there good. | |
| [15:35] | Massage those gums. | |
| [15:37] | It’s where the good DNA is. | |
| [15:44] | I don’t know how you do it in D.C., | |
| [15:47] | but in Atlanta, | |
| [15:49] | we don’t stick our fingers in the houseguests’ mouths. | |
| [15:53] | Or anyplace else, for that matter. | |
| [15:55] | Would you like to tell me, what were you doing? | |
| [15:58] | Oh, we just, um… | |
| [16:00] | we noticed that you had a little something | |
| [16:02] | stuck in your teeth from lunch, and so, | |
| [16:03] | we didn’t want you to be too embarrassed. | |
| [16:06] | So wakin’ up with your hand in my mouth, that’s less embarrassing? | |
| [16:09] | We’re glad you agree. | |
| [16:12] | Okay, guys, how about we let Betty and her clean teeth | |
| [16:15] | nap in peace? | |
| [16:16] | I told you we should’ve gone with blood. | |
| [16:18] | Sh! | |
| [16:26] | KC, if this is about that old spy case again, | |
| [16:29] | you better have foolproof proof. | |
| [16:31] | Dad, we do. Okay? | |
| [16:33] | Judy ran the DNA test, and it turns out, | |
| [16:35] | it’s a 99% match. | |
| [16:38] | So what I’m hearing is, | |
| [16:41] | there’s still a one percent chance you’re wrong. | |
| [16:44] | And I’m not about to risk my happiness over one percent. | |
| [16:46] | You mean Papa Earl’s happiness? | |
| [16:47] | No, mine. | |
| [16:49] | Look, I finally got the dad I always wanted. | |
| [16:53] | I can laugh with him, I can hang out with him. | |
| [16:56] | I’m not ready to give that up. | |
| [16:59] | Craig, honey, look, I know this is upsetting, | |
| [17:01] | but we have a moral responsibility | |
| [17:03] | to enforce the law. | |
| [17:04] | But I still think I can morally keep the jewelry. | |
| [17:13] | Hey, Dad. | |
| [17:15] | How about me, you, and Ernie go out for a little bachelor party? | |
| [17:18] | Isn’t Ernie a little young for a bachelor party? | |
| [17:21] | Aren’t you a little old for one? | |
| [17:26] | I tell you, Craig, this guy is even funnier than his haircut. | |
| [17:31] | He must get his sense of humor from you. | |
| [17:33] | Oh, come on, Dad. | |
| [17:34] | I’m gonna miss happy Daddy. | |
| [17:42] | So, Betty, | |
| [17:44] | guess it’s just us gals, huh? | |
| [17:46] | Oh, are we having a bachelorette party? | |
| [17:49] | Because if a policeman comes in carrying a boom box, | |
| [17:52] | and wearing a rip-away shirt shows up, I’m in. | |
| [17:56] | Well, there definitely gonna be policemen involved. | |
| [17:58] | Just not the dancing kind. | |
| [18:01] | Do you know who had a really super fun bachelorette party? | |
| [18:03] | My twin sister when she remarried a few years ago. | |
| [18:07] | I woke up with this. Look. | |
| [18:11] | “Beast mode”? | |
| [18:12] | Seemed like a good idea at the time. | |
| [18:16] | Did it? Did it really? | |
| [18:20] | Okay, wait, you have a twin sister? | |
| [18:22] | Mm-hmm. Identical twin sister. Midge. | |
| [18:24] | And I know this is obvious, but she’s gorgeous. | |
| [18:29] | Wait a minute, your twin sister’s name is Midge? | |
| [18:32] | Which is short for Margaret. | |
| [18:34] | Which explains why it was only a 99% match. | |
| [18:37] | Um, Betty, out of curiosity, | |
| [18:41] | where does Margaret live? | |
| [18:42] | Some remote island off of Puget Sound. | |
| [18:45] | I swear, the woman’s such a recluse. | |
| [18:49] | Not for long. She’s about to get a couple of visitors. | |
| [19:00] | Who is it?! | |
| [19:02] | Delivery. | |
| [19:03] | Oh, yeah? | |
| [19:05] | Well, I got something for you, too. | |
| [19:10] | You’ll never take me alive. | |
| [19:12] | All right, we’re going in. | |
| [19:26] | Let me guess. | |
| [19:28] | Betty sold me out. | |
| [19:29] | She never could keep a secret. | |
| [19:37] | All right, KC, I finally found the perfect prom date for you. | |
| [19:40] | Marisa, please, I do not wanna hear the word prom | |
| [19:42] | for as long as I live. | |
| [19:44] | No, no, I told you someone special’s gonna ask you, | |
| [19:46] | and I was right. | |
| [19:48] | Okay, no, please, tell me. | |
| [19:50] | Who is this special, magical person | |
| [19:53] | who’s gonna show up and make all my prom dreams come true? | |
| [19:59] | KC Cooper, will you please do me the honor | |
| [20:01] | of being my prom date? | |
| [20:06] | Aww, Marisa, that’s so sweet. | |
| [20:08] | Look, I don’t care how many guys asked me. | |
| [20:10] | There’s no one I’d have a better time with than you. | |
| [20:12] | In that case… | |
| [20:15] | it’s a yes. | |
| [20:16] | Yay! | |
| [20:17] | But on one condition. | |
| [20:19] | I’m not wearing a dress. | |
| [20:21] | Oh, no, you’re lucky you have a date at all. | |
| [20:22] | You’ll wear that I tell you to wear. | |
| [20:25] | And I have narrowed it down to six options, so I’m gonna go get ’em. | |
| [20:34] | Well, it was so nice meeting everyone, | |
| [20:36] | and thank you for your hospitality. | |
| [20:37] | You are welcome here any time, | |
| [20:40] | and don’t feel it necessary to bring any more of your amazing gifts, | |
| [20:42] | especially the diamond-cut earrings that match this bracelet. | |
| [20:44] | No, you don’t have to. | |
| [20:47] | Unless you want to. | |
| [20:49] | Well, when it comes to my daughter-in-law, | |
| [20:51] | I spare no expense. | |
| [20:56] | KC, give Papa Earl a big old hug. | |
| [20:58] | Aww, we’re gonna miss you, Papa Earl. | |
| [21:00] | And you, too, Gammy. | |
| [21:02] | Oh! | |
| [21:04] | And I can’t wait for you to meet the family | |
| [21:06] | at Christmas, especially my twin sister. | |
| [21:08] | If she ever calls me back. | |
| [21:10] | I’m sure she’ll call you back… | |
| [21:11] | collect from prison. | |
| [21:14] | Hey, Dad, um, I just wanted to say, | |
| [21:17] | um, this was the best visit ever, | |
| [21:20] | and I really appreciate the way you treated me. | |
| [21:22] | What are you talkin’ about? | |
| [21:24] | What nonsense is that? | |
| [21:26] | Come on, Dad. | |
| [21:27] | I know I got on your nerves. | |
| [21:29] | Always have. | |
| [21:30] | But now you got Betty, and you’re happy. | |
| [21:33] | You’re nice to me. | |
| [21:36] | I know we’ve had our differences, son, | |
| [21:38] | but I love you | |
| [21:41] | with all my heart, | |
| [21:42] | and I have since the day you were born. | |
| [21:45] | I guess I’m just getting better | |
| [21:47] | at expressing it. | |
| [21:52] | I love you, too, Daddy. | |
| [21:54] | Now get outta my house, old man. | |
| [21:55] | I don’t wanna see you till Christmas. | |
| [22:00] | Who’s ready to put on a fashion show | |
| [22:10] | Rob, your name’s on TV. |