| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen. www.MY-SUBS.com | |
| [00:02] | Okay, guys, my SAT score’s been posted online. | |
| [00:06] | My entire college future depends on what happens in the next minute. | |
| [00:09] | Hold up. Don’t check them yet. | |
| [00:10] | Don’t check them yet. | |
| [00:15] | It’s Kira, and I am live with my baby, who is about to get her SAT scores! | |
| [00:23] | And this is what it looks like when someone gets a perfect score of 1600! | |
| [00:29] | Although, I’d also be happy with a 1590! | |
| [00:32] | And I’m okay with a 1580. | |
| [00:37] | “Dear K.C. Cooper, your SAT score is… | |
| [00:40] | 1060″? | |
| [00:43] | Is 1060 a good SAT score? | |
| [00:45] | 1060? No way. | |
| [00:47] | We got the exact same score! | |
| [00:50] | We’re SAT twins! | |
| [00:53] | Aah, no! | |
| [00:58] | I’ll take that as a no. | |
| [01:53] | I don’t understand how this could happen to me. | |
| [01:55] | I’ve been taking practice SAT tests since I was in, like, third grade for fun. | |
| [01:58] | – It doesn’t make any sense. – Thank you. | |
| [02:00] | What kind of third grader thinks it’s fun to take an SAT practice test? | |
| [02:04] | The kind that should’ve gotten a 1600, | |
| [02:06] | not a 10… 1060. | |
| [02:10] | It doesn’t makes sense, you know? | |
| [02:12] | I mean, how could someone as smart as me get the same score as you? | |
| [02:14] | No offense. | |
| [02:15] | Oh, none taken. | |
| [02:17] | You may not like your 1060, but I’m lovin’ mine. | |
| [02:20] | My parents are actually talking about buying me a car. | |
| [02:23] | I need to stop obsessing over this test, okay? | |
| [02:26] | Maybe we should talk about something else. | |
| [02:28] | You know, anything else. | |
| [02:30] | Well, there has been a favor I’ve been meaning to ask you. | |
| [02:34] | Yeah, for sure, just name it. | |
| [02:36] | Okay. I was wondering if you would you be willing | |
| [02:40] | to talk to The Organization about officially recruiting me? | |
| [02:47] | You want them to recruit… | |
| [02:52] | Oh, Marisa, that’s good. Thank you. | |
| [02:54] | I really needed a good laugh. | |
| [02:55] | Oh, you’re serious. | |
| [02:59] | Look, you’re always telling me to set goals for myself, | |
| [03:02] | and I think I would be a good spy. | |
| [03:04] | I mean, let’s face it. I look amazing in wigs. | |
| [03:07] | Yeah, Marisa, but there’s a little bit more to it than that. | |
| [03:10] | So I’ll learn. | |
| [03:11] | Okay, um… how do I put this? | |
| [03:14] | Uh, you’re just not exactly what they’re looking for. | |
| [03:18] | Meaning? | |
| [03:20] | Meaning The Organization has, like, a certain standard. | |
| [03:24] | Like? | |
| [03:25] | Like in the area of cognitive thinking. | |
| [03:27] | – Not following. – Book learning. | |
| [03:29] | Still not gettin’ it. | |
| [03:30] | Yeah, that’s kind of the problem. | |
| [03:33] | Um, sometimes you tend to just not get it. | |
| [03:38] | Wait, I’m sorry. | |
| [03:41] | Are you saying that I’m not smart enough to be a spy? | |
| [03:45] | Okay, um, how do I put this nicely? | |
| [03:48] | Um… | |
| [03:50] | no, no, you’re not. | |
| [03:54] | That’s the nicely-est way you could have put it? | |
| [03:57] | It’s nice… | |
| [03:57] | Okay, I may not be good with fancy words, | |
| [03:59] | but don’t forget, I am the one who saved your family | |
| [04:02] | from the abandoned hospital. | |
| [04:03] | I am the one who came up with the plan to catch that bird smuggler in Rio. | |
| [04:07] | Oh, and what’s that other thing? Oh, yeah. | |
| [04:08] | I’m the one who has the same exact SAT score as you. | |
| [04:14] | That’s not the nicely-est thing you could’ve said! | |
| [04:23] | Hi, Ernie. | |
| [04:24] | Zoe. What are you doing here? | |
| [04:27] | I got assigned a mission | |
| [04:28] | to take down some smugglers operating out of a warehouse. | |
| [04:31] | I get to pick a partner, | |
| [04:33] | and I was thinking this Friday night maybe we could… | |
| [04:36] | I’d love to go on a mission with you. | |
| [04:38] | – Great. It’s a date. – All right. | |
| [04:45] | It’s a date? | |
| [04:53] | What are you so excited about? | |
| [04:55] | Wait. | |
| [04:56] | Never mind. I don’t care. | |
| [05:04] | Hmm. With any luck, the bad guys will stay locked up forever. | |
| [05:09] | Yeah, for sure. | |
| [05:10] | And hopefully those bad guys will stay locked up forever. | |
| [05:13] | K.C., if I wanted to talk to someone | |
| [05:15] | that doesn’t listen to me, I have a husband. | |
| [05:19] | I’m sorry. It’s just my head’s not really in it today. | |
| [05:22] | Oh, well, why don’t I call Crime and tell it to take the day off? | |
| [05:26] | I’m kind of freaked out about my SAT scores. | |
| [05:27] | I mean, I did so good on my practice tests. | |
| [05:29] | It just… It doesn’t make sense. | |
| [05:31] | I know a 1060 for a student like you must be disappointing, | |
| [05:35] | but you’ve got a lot on your plate. | |
| [05:36] | Wait a minute. How did you know my score? | |
| [05:40] | – You just told me. – No, I didn’t. | |
| [05:41] | – Yes, you did. – No, I didn’t. | |
| [05:43] | – Yes, you did. – No, I did not. | |
| [05:46] | I can’t even say that score out loud. | |
| [05:48] | I can’t even listen to my favorite radio station anymore, 1059 Plus One. | |
| [05:52] | K.C., I really feel for you. | |
| [05:55] | I know how upsetting this must be. | |
| [05:57] | But don’t let it get you down, honey. | |
| [05:59] | Thank you, Beverly. I appreciate that. | |
| [06:00] | That’s, like, the sweetest thing you’ve… | |
| [06:03] | You hacked into the system and lowered my score, didn’t you? | |
| [06:05] | That is absolutely not true. | |
| [06:09] | I had Phil from I.T. do it. | |
| [06:12] | Why would you guys do this to me? | |
| [06:14] | K.C., less than one percent of the population gets a perfect SAT score. | |
| [06:18] | It would put a spotlight on you. | |
| [06:20] | I got a perfect score? | |
| [06:21] | Perfect score! I knew it! | |
| [06:24] | And no one else will. | |
| [06:25] | Including the schools that I applied to. | |
| [06:27] | How am I supposed to get into the college of my choice? | |
| [06:29] | We invested a lot in you. | |
| [06:31] | Our choice is that you don’t go at all. | |
| [06:33] | Yeah, well, I don’t really think that’s your decision to make. | |
| [06:35] | Tell you what, you want a diploma, we’ll get you any diploma you want. | |
| [06:39] | Just name it. Harvard? Princeton? | |
| [06:41] | You want to keep it real? Howard? | |
| [06:44] | I can print it out for you right now. | |
| [06:46] | And it’s really authentic. | |
| [06:47] | Look. That’s how I got mine. | |
| [06:53] | Well, I found out why my score was so low. | |
| [06:57] | Beverly had it changed. | |
| [06:59] | She what? That’s it. | |
| [07:00] | I’m going down there and straightening out her wig. | |
| [07:02] | No, no, Mom. Okay? | |
| [07:04] | I got a better idea, okay? | |
| [07:06] | I’ll just introduce her to a couple of my friends… | |
| [07:07] | Betty and Joan. | |
| [07:10] | K.C., relax, and stop naming your fists. | |
| [07:15] | If Beverly did it, she probably had a good reason. | |
| [07:17] | Dad, why are you defending her? | |
| [07:19] | You’re supposed to be on my side. | |
| [07:20] | Well… | |
| [07:22] | Unless you knew about it, didn’t you? | |
| [07:24] | Didn’t you? | |
| [07:25] | No, of course not. Craig, tell her. | |
| [07:27] | You did, didn’t you? | |
| [07:29] | No. This is the first time I heard about it. | |
| [07:31] | Dad, any time you lie to me, your voice goes up two octaves. | |
| [07:33] | – No, it doesn’t. – Yeah, you’re lying. | |
| [07:35] | I am not! | |
| [07:37] | Dad, come on, how could you do this to me? | |
| [07:40] | Look, it was totally innocent. | |
| [07:41] | One minute I was having coffee with Beverly, | |
| [07:43] | the next thing you know, I was hacking into the system | |
| [07:45] | and changing your scores. | |
| [07:47] | She told me Phil from I.T. did it. | |
| [07:48] | I know. Right, I tried to stop him, but he told me… | |
| [07:52] | Okay, look, what does it even matter? | |
| [07:56] | College is supposed to prepare you for a good job, a good career. | |
| [08:00] | You already have a great career. | |
| [08:01] | – I know. – Okay. | |
| [08:02] | I mean, I don’t know. | |
| [08:04] | Look, it’s my decision to make, okay? | |
| [08:06] | I don’t even know what to say to you. | |
| [08:07] | Look, K… K.C. | |
| [08:10] | Well, I do. | |
| [08:12] | Craig Cooper, how dare you? | |
| [08:13] | You don’t discuss your daughter’s future with your boss, | |
| [08:16] | you discuss it with your wife. | |
| [08:17] | And your daughter! | |
| [08:20] | Come on. Why does K.C. even need to go to college? | |
| [08:23] | She’s brilliant. | |
| [08:25] | It’s just four more years of stuff she already knows. | |
| [08:27] | It’s also four years where she can have a little fun. | |
| [08:29] | Discover who she is. | |
| [08:30] | I mean, when else is she going to live in a dorm | |
| [08:32] | and learn to get along with a roommate she doesn’t like? | |
| [08:35] | That is good experience. | |
| [08:36] | For what? | |
| [08:38] | For when she gets married! | |
| [08:47] | Mmm. | |
| [08:54] | Ah. | |
| [08:56] | Ernie, you… | |
| [08:58] | Wow. That stinks. | |
| [09:02] | Yet it’s still better than it usually smells in here. | |
| [09:06] | What you getting all fancy for? You going on a date? | |
| [09:09] | Zoe asked me out on a solo mission. | |
| [09:12] | Ooh. Your first solo mission with a girl. | |
| [09:14] | Please. I’ve been on solo missions with girls before. | |
| [09:17] | I meant one that wasn’t a blood relative. | |
| [09:21] | K.C. and Mom are already mad at you. | |
| [09:23] | You really wanna go three for three? | |
| [09:26] | Good point. | |
| [09:28] | Ernie, I’m gonna give you a little fatherly advice, okay? | |
| [09:31] | You’re might be a little nervous, but just remember, she already likes you. | |
| [09:35] | She picked you for this mission, so you go in there with a little confidence. | |
| [09:39] | Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate you building me up. | |
| [09:42] | Ah, that’s what fathers are for. | |
| [09:43] | Now you get back in the shower. | |
| [09:45] | The bad guys are gonna smell you coming a mile away. | |
| [09:52] | Mmm. | |
| [09:55] | So, I have decided to be the bigger person and forgive you. | |
| [09:58] | It was either that or find a new best friend. | |
| [09:59] | And, frankly, I’m just too lazy for that. | |
| [10:03] | Plus you missed me? | |
| [10:04] | You know you did. You missed me. | |
| [10:06] | – You missed me. – And I missed you. | |
| [10:09] | So you want to grab a movie later? | |
| [10:11] | I would, but I gotta get some rest. | |
| [10:12] | I gotta sneak out in the middle of the night. | |
| [10:13] | What? You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say those words. | |
| [10:18] | So what kind of trouble you getting into? | |
| [10:20] | Re-taking my SATs. | |
| [10:21] | And you ruined it. | |
| [10:23] | It turns out, I did get a perfect score. | |
| [10:26] | Oh, yay. | |
| [10:27] | But The Organization changed it because they don’t want me going to college. | |
| [10:30] | So my last chance to take it is tomorrow, | |
| [10:32] | but it’s all the way in upstate New York, and it’s first thing in the morning. | |
| [10:35] | Interesting. You want to go to college, | |
| [10:38] | but The Organization is trying to stop you. | |
| [10:40] | Sort of like how I want to be a spy and you’re trying to stop me. | |
| [10:43] | You’re just not cut out to be a spy, okay? | |
| [10:45] | Well, maybe you’re not cut out to go to college. | |
| [10:47] | Well, what does that mean? | |
| [10:49] | That I think I would be a lot better at going undercover | |
| [10:51] | than you would be at getting into a sorority | |
| [10:52] | or having fun at a college party. | |
| [10:54] | Like I would ever go to a sorority or parties. | |
| [10:56] | Then what is the point of even going to college? | |
| [10:59] | To learn! | |
| [11:01] | To learn! That is good. | |
| [11:04] | And I’m the one who’s not smart. | |
| [11:07] | Okay, Marisa, look, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, okay? | |
| [11:09] | No, you know what? Just stop apologizing, ’cause clearly you’re not sorry. | |
| [11:13] | So take the test or don’t. Go to college or don’t. | |
| [11:16] | Keep stomping on people’s dreams with your gigantic feet or don’t. | |
| [11:19] | I really don’t care anymore. | |
| [11:20] | Okay, I understand you’re mad. | |
| [11:22] | Doesn’t mean you have to talk about my gigantic feet! | |
| [11:24] | I mean, my regular, proportionately sized feet. | |
| [11:33] | Hey, why aren’t you using our bathroom? | |
| [11:39] | Oh, come on. You’re not still mad at me, are you? | |
| [11:43] | Hey, hey, hey, that kind of language is uncalled for. | |
| [11:48] | Craig, you made a decision about K.C.’s future without me. | |
| [11:51] | We’re supposed to be a team. | |
| [11:53] | Now, last I checked, there’s no “U” in team. | |
| [11:55] | Don’t you mean “I”? | |
| [11:57] | You keep correcting me, and there’ll be no you in our bedroom. | |
| [11:59] | Okay. I made a mistake. | |
| [12:03] | I’m sorry. Really. | |
| [12:05] | Well, I am not the only one you owe an apology. | |
| [12:08] | K.C. was really upset, and she hasn’t been out of her room all night. | |
| [12:11] | All right, I’ll go talk to her. | |
| [12:13] | No, Craig, just… just let her cool down. | |
| [12:17] | Guess you’re right. | |
| [12:20] | Like she’d ever try to kick me out of our bedroom. | |
| [12:22] | Ha! Homey don’t play that! | |
| [12:26] | Ahh. | |
| [12:28] | Whoa! | |
| [12:30] | Oh, Ernie! This is athlete’s foot spRay! | |
| [12:37] | At the corner, turn left. | |
| [12:39] | There should be a vent that you can access. | |
| [12:41] | I don’t know why you insisted on staying behind in the van. | |
| [12:43] | I like staying behind. | |
| [12:45] | I happen to have the perfect behind for it. | |
| [12:52] | I’m in. | |
| [12:57] | Oh, no. I’ve been compromised. | |
| [12:59] | Ernie, I need… | |
| [13:01] | Zoe, are you okay?! | |
| [13:03] | Okay, Ernie, time to put on your big boy pants and go save your woman. | |
| [13:08] | I mean, partner. | |
| [13:09] | Hang on, Zoe, your partner-man is coming! | |
| [13:21] | – So where we going? – Oh! | |
| [13:25] | Judy, what are you doing in the car this late at night? | |
| [13:28] | Taking all the change from the cup holder. | |
| [13:30] | Agent Craig thinks the valet parker at The Organization is doing it. | |
| [13:33] | At this rate, we’re only a couple of quarters away from them throwing hands. | |
| [13:39] | Now what are you doing in the car this late at night? | |
| [13:47] | Okay, looks like we should be there in plenty of time | |
| [13:49] | for me to sign in and take my SAT. | |
| [13:51] | So thanks for not ratting me out, Judy. | |
| [13:54] | You don’t say squat about those quarters, I don’t say squat about this. | |
| [13:58] | Besides, I’m your sister. | |
| [14:00] | And if you can’t count on me, then who can you count on? | |
| [14:06] | You know, if you could feel that, I know you’d be touched. | |
| [14:10] | But I can’t, so stop touching me. | |
| [14:18] | Hey, Beverly. | |
| [14:20] | I have a mission for you, K.C. | |
| [14:21] | We need you to fly in to Paris to extract an agent that’s been compromised. | |
| [14:25] | Uh, I’m a little busy right now. | |
| [14:28] | Can we move it to tomorrow? | |
| [14:31] | Okay. Sure, no problem. | |
| [14:34] | Could you do me favor and jot this number down? | |
| [14:37] | 202-555-0155. | |
| [14:41] | Okay, what number is that? | |
| [14:42] | That’s the agent’s wife. | |
| [14:44] | You can call her and find out where she’ll want the body sent. | |
| [14:48] | Sarcasm noted. | |
| [14:49] | Look, uh, Beverly, I’m with Marisa right now, | |
| [14:54] | and she has me on this road trip to some outlet mall in upstate New York | |
| [14:59] | to save a dollar on a pair of leggings. | |
| [15:01] | Look, I just… I don’t think I’m going to make it there in time. | |
| [15:03] | Well, see what you can do, K.C. | |
| [15:06] | If you can’t make it, I guess I’ll have to send in Garcia. | |
| [15:08] | Okay, um, I’ll do my best to get there in time. | |
| [15:20] | So parking the car is your way of doing your best to get there? | |
| [15:25] | I don’t know what to do, okay? | |
| [15:27] | Maybe I should listen to Beverly and go back, or maybe I shouldn’t, | |
| [15:31] | because this is my last time to take my SAT, and without the right score, | |
| [15:34] | I can’t get into the college of my choice. | |
| [15:36] | But Beverly doesn’t want me to go to college, which isn’t fair, | |
| [15:38] | because I don’t even know what I want to do. | |
| [15:39] | It’s just… I mean, it’s ridiculous. | |
| [15:42] | I knew I would have to make a decision about my future. | |
| [15:44] | I just didn’t think it would have to be this very second. | |
| [15:47] | I don’t really know what to do. | |
| [15:50] | What does your gut tell you? | |
| [15:52] | To throw up that truck stop veggie burger I just ate. | |
| [15:54] | Truckers don’t eat veggie burgers. | |
| [15:56] | What was I thinking? | |
| [15:57] | Okay, what does your head tell you? | |
| [16:01] | That if I stop thinking about the veggie burger that maybe I won’t throw up. | |
| [16:06] | I think you need to talk this through with someone. | |
| [16:09] | How about your mom? | |
| [16:11] | Baby, keep driving. | |
| [16:13] | If anyone was meant for college, it’s you. | |
| [16:17] | Fine, how about your dad? | |
| [16:20] | K.C., do what you gotta do. | |
| [16:22] | But I prefer you do what I want you to do. | |
| [16:24] | Turn this car around! College is not for you! | |
| [16:28] | Or your brother. | |
| [16:29] | Wow, you must really be desperate | |
| [16:32] | if you’re coming to me for help. | |
| [16:36] | Or you could just take my advice. | |
| [16:38] | Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. | |
| [16:40] | Just do what you think is right for you. | |
| [16:45] | Thanks, Judy. | |
| [16:48] | You know what? | |
| [16:50] | I know exactly what direction I’m heading. | |
| [16:56] | Don’t worry, Zoe. I’m here to save you. | |
| [17:03] | As soon as someone saves me. | |
| [17:05] | Ernie, you got company. | |
| [17:09] | Freeze, or I’ll shoot! | |
| [17:14] | Or should I say, “Freeze, and please don’t shoot”? | |
| [17:19] | Get him, Ernie. | |
| [17:20] | Rrrr! | |
| [17:21] | Rrrr! | |
| [17:32] | All right, now you’re starting to tick me off. | |
| [17:40] | Good one, Ernie. | |
| [17:41] | Time for a party favor. | |
| [17:46] | Whack him! | |
| [17:48] | Whack him till candy comes out of his ears! | |
| [17:55] | Now tie him up. | |
| [18:03] | Good job, Ernie. | |
| [18:05] | Thanks. | |
| [18:08] | Oh, no, Look out, Ernie! | |
| [18:16] | Thanks for saving me, Ernie. | |
| [18:18] | It was my pleasure. | |
| [18:19] | You were awesome. | |
| [18:20] | I was, wasn’t I? | |
| [18:22] | I was confident. | |
| [18:25] | No, not was. I am confident. | |
| [18:28] | In fact, I have something I want to ask you. | |
| [18:32] | Zoe, would you be my girlfriend? | |
| [18:35] | Really? | |
| [18:38] | Yes. We’re good together, and I’d make a great boyfriend. | |
| [18:42] | I’m sweet and caring and fun. | |
| [18:44] | And I really like you. | |
| [18:47] | Oh, Ernie. I’d love to be your girlfriend. | |
| [18:52] | All right. | |
| [18:54] | But, unfortunately, I’ve been assigned to a mission | |
| [18:56] | in Antarctica for the next four years. | |
| [19:00] | Oh. | |
| [19:05] | Will you wait for me? | |
| [19:08] | Well, I spent the first 16 years solo. | |
| [19:12] | What’s another four? | |
| [19:25] | Hey, Marisa. | |
| [19:30] | Okay, I deserved that, but I owe you an apology. | |
| [19:36] | Okay, another apology. | |
| [19:38] | Okay, another, another apology. | |
| [19:41] | But this time, I really mean it. | |
| [19:44] | Okay, I’m listening. | |
| [19:46] | I just want to say that I’m sorry that I didn’t take you seriously | |
| [19:51] | when you said you wanted to be a spy. | |
| [19:52] | Ah, I knew you’d come around. | |
| [19:54] | So you are going to put in a good word for me | |
| [19:56] | with The Organization. Thank you. | |
| [19:58] | Uh, no. Marisa, I’m sorry. | |
| [20:00] | I don’t think you’re understanding me. | |
| [20:02] | I mean, I don’t feel bad that I said no. | |
| [20:06] | I just feel bad about the way that I said it. | |
| [20:08] | I should have never said that you weren’t smart. | |
| [20:10] | No, no, no, no, no, no. No, this is all wrong. | |
| [20:14] | I want the kind of apology where you admit you’re wrong, | |
| [20:16] | try to buy back my affection with a Kleckner’s gift card, | |
| [20:18] | and then give me what I want! | |
| [20:24] | Marisa, you’re not meant to be a spy, okay? | |
| [20:27] | If anybody was meant for college, it’s you. | |
| [20:29] | And not just because you’re fun at parties. | |
| [20:32] | College would be a great time for you to blossom and come into your own. | |
| [20:35] | College is what you think I want, K.C. | |
| [20:37] | What about what I really want? | |
| [20:39] | I don’t really think you know what you want. | |
| [20:40] | And know what I want? | |
| [20:41] | Yes, and it’s not being a spy. | |
| [20:44] | So in other words, you’re making the choice for me. | |
| [20:47] | That’s really interesting, ’cause all you’ve been about | |
| [20:49] | is not having other people make choices for you. | |
| [20:52] | Marisa, I’m just trying to protect you. | |
| [20:53] | Well, maybe I don’t need protecting. | |
| [20:55] | Maybe I’m not the dumb, weak friend that you seem to think I am. | |
| [20:58] | Marisa, I didn’t mean to… And you don’t care about protecting me. | |
| [21:02] | It is all about you and what you want. | |
| [21:04] | It is always about you, and I am so sick of it. So you know what? | |
| [21:08] | I am making a choice. | |
| [21:09] | I’m backing off this friendship. | |
| [21:12] | I’m taking a break from you. | |
| [21:13] | Marisa, can we just talk? | |
| [21:32] | Oh, man, it’s time. It’s time. It’s time. | |
| [21:35] | Okay, this is not a drill. | |
| [21:36] | This is not a drill. | |
| [21:44] | “Dear K.C. Cooper, your SAT score is…” | |
| [21:54] | What’s up, Dad? | |
| [21:55] | Hey. What you so happy about? | |
| [21:57] | Um, nothing. | |
| [21:59] | Is everything okay? | |
| [22:01] | Yeah. I mean, I’m not keeping score or anything, | |
| [22:03] | but, uh, yeah, everything is… perfect. | |
| [22:14] | Rob, your name’s on TV! |