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[00:00] | Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.MY-SUBS.com | |
[00:00] | WWW.MY-SUBS.COM | |
[00:02] | So, I just saw who’s nominated | |
[00:03] | for those yearbook award thingies. | |
[00:05] | The senior superlatives? | |
[00:07] | KC, stop with the big words that no one’s ever heard of. | |
[00:10] | Well, you clearly aren’t nominated for Best Vocabulary. | |
[00:13] | Uh, no! I am not nominated for anything! | |
[00:17] | I cannot believe I was overlooked for Most Fashionable! | |
[00:20] | Well, Marisa, people can’t see how well you dress in school | |
[00:23] | if you’re never in school. | |
[00:27] | Think about this… if you don’t get your grades up, | |
[00:29] | maybe you could win Most Fashionable next year. | |
[00:32] | KC, come on, this is really serious. | |
[00:33] | I need this on my transcript | |
[00:35] | if I want to get into the Fashion Institute of Technology. | |
[00:37] | Being Most Fashionable is like being | |
[00:40] | the president of the Smarty Club for Smarty People. | |
[00:45] | Oh, look, look. There is Amy-What’s-Her-Face. | |
[00:47] | She’s the editor of the yearbook. | |
[00:49] | I’m gonna go give her a piece of my mind. | |
[00:50] | Marisa, or you know, you could just | |
[00:52] | step up your fashion game and show her what you got. | |
[00:54] | And it wouldn’t hurt to learn her name. It’s Bishop. | |
[00:57] | No, I’m pretty sure it’s Amy. | |
[00:59] | Yes. Amy Bishop. | |
[01:04] | Aw, great. Code Red meeting at The Organization. | |
[01:07] | As much as I’d love to continue this conversation, | |
[01:09] | I gotta go. Something bad must be happening. | |
[01:11] | It’s really weird, ’cause you always get Code Red meetings | |
[01:13] | when I’m complaining about something. | |
[01:15] | Yeah, but this time I really have… I gotta go. | |
[02:04] | I keep it undercover. | |
[02:06] | I keep it undercover. | |
[02:12] | All right, folks, this is a big one. | |
[02:15] | We just got intel that enemy agents | |
[02:18] | are hiding right here in the DC Metro area | |
[02:20] | pretending to be ordinary citizens. | |
[02:23] | That is despicable… | |
[02:25] | except for when we do it. | |
[02:28] | Actually, when you do it, it’s just comically incompetent. | |
[02:33] | Judy, if you’re not gonna take this seriously, | |
[02:35] | then you don’t need to be here. | |
[02:36] | – Later, y’all! – Sit down! | |
[02:39] | So close! | |
[02:41] | As I was saying, these agents are running | |
[02:44] | a covert weapons distribution center. | |
[02:47] | They supply laser guns to enemy agencies worldwide. | |
[02:50] | We need to shut them down before The Alternate | |
[02:52] | gets their hands on these laser guns. | |
[02:53] | Right, they’re still a threat, | |
[02:54] | and the last thing we need | |
[02:55] | is for them to have a deep arsenal. | |
[02:57] | All right, good talk. | |
[02:58] | Let’s go get ’em, people! | |
[02:59] | Slow down, chicken legs! | |
[03:01] | We don’t even know where they’re located. | |
[03:04] | If I were you, I probably would’ve gotten that intel | |
[03:06] | before calling a Code Red meeting, | |
[03:07] | but, you know, you’re in charge. You do you. | |
[03:11] | What we do know is that all these laser guns | |
[03:13] | will generate a substantial energy signature. | |
[03:17] | Your scanners should pick it up when you get close, | |
[03:19] | so let’s get out there and start looking for it! | |
[03:22] | Uh, one question. | |
[03:24] | Yes, Craig, they’ll reimburse us for gas. | |
[03:26] | I wasn’t even gonna ask that! | |
[03:28] | And snacks! | |
[03:30] | Okay, then I’m good. | |
[03:34] | Okay, if anybody finds anything, | |
[03:35] | report back immediately. | |
[03:37] | All right, let’s go get ’em, people. | |
[03:42] | Sorry, I had to circle around five times to find parking! | |
[03:46] | Hey, uh, where is everyone? | |
[03:49] | Am I the only agent that takes | |
[03:51] | these Code Red meetings seriously? | |
[03:56] | I’m upset, too, Agent Johnson! They’re in for | |
[03:58] | a stern talking-to when they finally get here! | |
[04:01] | Ooh, get here early, get the good chair. | |
[04:08] | Four hours in this van, | |
[04:10] | and not a trace of the energy signature. | |
[04:12] | But I am getting a trace of stale French fries and funky sneakers. | |
[04:15] | When’s the last time you washed this van, | |
[04:17] | when Roosevelt was president? | |
[04:21] | You know, we haven’t spent this much time together | |
[04:24] | since our trip to Niagara Falls. | |
[04:26] | Ha! Yeah, I remember that. You almost fell in. | |
[04:28] | I didn’t almost fall in. You pushed me! | |
[04:31] | You told us he slipped! | |
[04:33] | He did slip. After I pushed him. | |
[04:36] | – Stop the van! – Why? | |
[04:39] | Because there’s an ice cream truck, | |
[04:41] | and I wanna buy everyone a Strawberry Shortcake. | |
[04:43] | – Really? – No! | |
[04:44] | We just drove past the energy signature! | |
[04:51] | But this can’t be the right location. | |
[04:53] | We’re on Old Stonehouse Road. | |
[04:55] | It’s practically around the corner from our house. | |
[04:57] | Wait a minute, then that would mean… | |
[04:59] | Enemy agents have been living in our own neighborhood! | |
[05:01] | Cross that house off my trick-or-treat route. | |
[05:04] | Okay, FYI, if you can drive to the house, | |
[05:06] | you’re too old to trick or treat. | |
[05:34] | Oh, hey, Amy, | |
[05:36] | I didn’t see you there. Great outfit, huh? | |
[05:45] | I didn’t know Marisa got the lead | |
[05:47] | in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. | |
[06:10] | Clear! | |
[06:12] | Clear! | |
[06:13] | Nobody’s here. | |
[06:14] | It’s all clear! | |
[06:15] | Yeah, and it’s spotless! | |
[06:18] | I need the name of their cleaner. | |
[06:20] | And their decorator. | |
[06:23] | I cannot believe this. | |
[06:25] | What, that we live so close to enemy agents? | |
[06:27] | No, this looks exactly like a vase I made for Dad | |
[06:30] | in the third grade, but he told me it got broken. | |
[06:32] | It did break. | |
[06:35] | “With all my heart, KC.” | |
[06:39] | Or maybe I sold it for a quarter at a garage sale. | |
[06:43] | They overpaid. | |
[06:46] | Guys, are we sure we have the right house? | |
[06:48] | I mean, where are they storing the weapons? | |
[06:50] | Did you think they’d be sitting | |
[06:51] | in a candy dish on the coffee table? | |
[06:53] | Look around for ’em! | |
[06:57] | Scan the walls! | |
[07:03] | There’s nothing in here. | |
[07:06] | Or is there? | |
[07:10] | Take cover! | |
[07:13] | Ready, agents? Fire! | |
[07:20] | Get out here! | |
[07:25] | Put your hands where we can see them. | |
[07:27] | Sure. | |
[07:30] | As soon as we’re done eliminating you! | |
[07:37] | Ah, we’ve always talked about redecorating the living room. | |
[07:40] | Well, no time like the present! | |
[07:43] | I actually love your pillows. | |
[07:45] | Thank you so much! | |
[07:46] | Just try not to get any blood on them. | |
[07:50] | Yeah, so if you don’t mind dying outside, | |
[07:52] | that would be great. | |
[07:54] | All right, you guys are surrounded. | |
[07:55] | Drop your weapons. | |
[07:56] | Eat laser fire! | |
[08:49] | I lied. Those pillows are hideous. | |
[08:57] | That’s right, kiss your little weapon-running operation goodbye, | |
[09:00] | because we just shut you down! | |
[09:02] | That’s right! Ha-ha! | |
[09:04] | Mom, Dad, what’s for dinner, because I am absolutely… aah! | |
[09:09] | Hands where we can see them. | |
[09:11] | KC? KC Cooper? | |
[09:23] | My parents! What have you done to them?! | |
[09:25] | We have to spell it out for you? We whupped their butts! | |
[09:28] | Don’t worry, they’ll be fine. | |
[09:31] | KC, would you please tell me what’s going on! | |
[09:33] | KC? Uh, I think you have me confused for somebody else. | |
[09:38] | I’m not KC, I’m, uh, I’m her cousin Cassandra. | |
[09:42] | Really? We doing that again? | |
[09:46] | Oh, yeah, you’re KC Cooper. | |
[09:47] | Okay, yes. Yes, I am KC, | |
[09:50] | and I know this looks a little weird, | |
[09:52] | but everything will be just fine. | |
[09:53] | Just fine? My parents are unconscious, | |
[09:58] | my… my house is trashed, | |
[09:59] | and some rando girl from my school | |
[10:01] | is pointing a weapon at me, so you wanna like take a second | |
[10:04] | and let me know how everything is gonna be just fine? | |
[10:06] | It’ll be fine because… | |
[10:09] | Because you’re not gonna remember any of this. | |
[10:13] | Oh, all right. So, what are we thinking? | |
[10:16] | Is Amy working with her parents? | |
[10:17] | Oh, please. Come on, guys, seriously? | |
[10:19] | Whoever heard of a teenaged spy? | |
[10:23] | Okay, I see your point. | |
[10:25] | But seriously, what’s gonna happen to Amy? | |
[10:28] | Well, she’ll be taken care of. | |
[10:30] | “Taken care of” like we’ll find her a nice new home, | |
[10:33] | or “taken care of” like we’ll find her a nice new prison cell? | |
[10:36] | The first one. Probably. | |
[10:40] | No, really, guys, what’s the plan? | |
[10:41] | I mean, assuming she’s innocent, | |
[10:43] | what are we gonna do, rip her away from her parents? | |
[10:45] | That’s kind of cruel. | |
[10:46] | Honey, that’s the job. | |
[10:48] | They’re enemy spies. | |
[10:49] | Yeah, but who’s gonna take her picture at prom | |
[10:52] | or who’s gonna drive her to college on the first day? | |
[10:55] | Will she even be able to go to college? | |
[10:57] | I don’t wanna ruin her life. | |
[10:59] | She should have the same opportunity | |
[11:01] | to ruin her life that I have. | |
[11:05] | KC, relax. We do this to people all the time. | |
[11:07] | Yeah, but not people I know. | |
[11:09] | Oh, now you suddenly growing a conscience? | |
[11:11] | You put more people in the hospital than trichinosis. | |
[11:14] | Guys, I have know this girl since eighth grade. | |
[11:17] | She’s not particularly friendly, | |
[11:19] | but I don’t want to ruin her life if she’s innocent. | |
[11:21] | Well, we’re gonna find out how innocent she is soon enough. | |
[11:24] | Let’s take ’em all to Headquarters for questioning. | |
[11:26] | Yep. | |
[11:57] | Marisa, we need to talk about your outfit. | |
[12:00] | Oh, I guess the fashion buzz has begun! | |
[12:02] | What do you want to tell me, Ms. Schaffer, | |
[12:04] | that my outfit is fabulous, totally unique, | |
[12:06] | the height of style? | |
[12:09] | No, that it is totally inappropriate for school. | |
[12:12] | You’re going to the principal’s office. | |
[12:14] | Well, if I don’t win Most Fashionable, | |
[12:16] | I’m a shoo-in for Most Trips to the Principal’s Office. | |
[12:18] | Mm-hmm. | |
[12:31] | Excellent work, Coopers! | |
[12:34] | We have dealt our enemies’ weapon supply chain a major blow. | |
[12:37] | Yeah, we managed to squash one cockroach, | |
[12:39] | but there’s a whole nest waiting to take its place. | |
[12:42] | Dad’s right. | |
[12:43] | Why should we just settle for slowing them down | |
[12:45] | when we can take ’em out altogether? | |
[12:46] | If these guys supply laser weapons | |
[12:48] | to every enemy agency in the world, | |
[12:50] | then that means they must have some type of distribution list | |
[12:52] | with names and addresses. | |
[12:54] | If we can get our hands on that list, then… | |
[12:56] | We could finally end the spy war! | |
[12:58] | I like the way you’re thinking. | |
[12:59] | Okay, hey, son! | |
[13:01] | Did you find any intel on the Bishops’ computer? | |
[13:04] | Nope, nothing but homework assignments, | |
[13:06] | links for a bunch of coupon websites, | |
[13:08] | and their browsing history reveals somebody in this house | |
[13:11] | is really into kitten videos. | |
[13:13] | Here’s one where a kitten can’t stop sneezing. | |
[13:16] | It’s just adorable! Look. | |
[13:18] | Ahem! We have more important things to do right now, Ernie. | |
[13:22] | Ahem, that’s right. | |
[13:25] | We’re gonna jot down the name of those coupon sites. | |
[13:28] | Nothing wrong with hunting for some bargains | |
[13:30] | while you’re hunting for clues. | |
[13:32] | Of course there’s nothing on the computer! | |
[13:34] | I mean, if you’re arming a worldwide network of secret agents, | |
[13:37] | you don’t store the guns | |
[13:38] | and the distribution list in the same place. | |
[13:41] | Well then, Amy’s parents will just have to lead us to it. | |
[13:43] | Sure, because enemy agents love helping us with our investigations. | |
[13:47] | They will if you do it the smart way. | |
[13:50] | What’s on your mind, KC? | |
[13:51] | Okay, here’s what I’m thinking. | |
[13:53] | We should memory spray the parents, okay, | |
[13:55] | then we clean this place up | |
[13:56] | and make it look exactly the way it was… | |
[13:59] | except for the vase. | |
[14:00] | This will be coming home with us. | |
[14:06] | Then, while we’re cleaning up, | |
[14:08] | we’ll also plant listening devices. | |
[14:11] | That idea actually sounds pretty cool. | |
[14:13] | No, that idea actually sounds pretty stupid. | |
[14:18] | These people are trained spies, KC. | |
[14:20] | If they wake up with a foggy memory, | |
[14:22] | the first thing they’ll suspect | |
[14:24] | is that they’ve been memory sprayed. | |
[14:26] | Then they’ll scour the house for listening devices, | |
[14:30] | they’ll know we’re on to them, | |
[14:33] | and they’ll disappear with the weapons supply | |
[14:35] | and the distribution list, | |
[14:37] | and we’ll be right back where we started. | |
[14:38] | Like I said, stupid idea. | |
[14:42] | Okay, good point, although you could’ve made it | |
[14:46] | without being so mean about it. | |
[14:50] | Okay, instead of bugging their house, | |
[14:52] | why don’t we send someone in | |
[14:54] | to win their trust and get that intel? | |
[14:55] | If we play the long game, we get the enemy list | |
[14:58] | and round them up all at once. | |
[15:00] | Okay. Okay. We’re doing this. | |
[15:02] | Start the cleanup! | |
[15:03] | We’re gonna make this place | |
[15:04] | look like we were never here. | |
[15:06] | All right, well, how does this work? | |
[15:08] | So now at least we memory-sprayed her, | |
[15:10] | so my cover hasn’t been blown. | |
[15:11] | Amy will have no idea that I’m a spy. | |
[15:13] | Which we can use to our advantage. | |
[15:20] | Hey, Dad, seriously, I am not spying on Amy. | |
[15:23] | But it makes perfect sense! | |
[15:25] | You already have a relationship. | |
[15:27] | Just buddy up to her, get into her house, | |
[15:29] | and find that weapons distribution list! | |
[15:31] | Familiar with the plan, Dad. | |
[15:32] | Kind of came up with the plan. | |
[15:34] | Don’t understand why I have to be the one to carry it out. | |
[15:37] | Well, who else is gonna do it? | |
[15:39] | Talk to a girl. | |
[15:42] | Oops, he blew it already! | |
[15:45] | KC, this mission is too important | |
[15:46] | to be trusted to anyone else. | |
[15:48] | I know, but, look, it’s one thing | |
[15:50] | to fly to Monrovia and pretend to be | |
[15:51] | an international pop star or construction worker, | |
[15:54] | because at the end of the day I get to go home | |
[15:56] | and have a regular life and go to school. | |
[15:58] | Except now I get to sit next to the innocent girl | |
[16:01] | whose life I’m ruining. | |
[16:02] | Wait, wait, we don’t know Amy is innocent. | |
[16:04] | We know she’s not a spy! | |
[16:06] | Look, here’s what I do know, okay? | |
[16:07] | She’s got a best friend named Susie, | |
[16:08] | she gets A’s in Spanish, | |
[16:10] | and walks around everywhere with headphones on. | |
[16:12] | And what do people say about you? | |
[16:13] | She has a best friend named Marisa, she’s an A student, | |
[16:16] | and she couldn’t get a boyfriend to save her life! | |
[16:20] | Again, could’ve made your point | |
[16:22] | without being so mean about it. | |
[16:25] | Listen, honey, if we can get that weapons distribution list, | |
[16:28] | we could take down every enemy spy network | |
[16:31] | in the country… maybe even the world! | |
[16:33] | Countless lives could be saved! | |
[16:35] | I know, I know, I just don’t understand | |
[16:37] | why Ernie can’t be the one to be close to her. | |
[16:39] | So, Dad, is it normal if a girl gives me her number, | |
[16:42] | and when I try it I find out the number | |
[16:45] | belongs to a 78-year-old widow in Sacramento? | |
[16:51] | I’ll do it. | |
[16:57] | Well, there’s Amy. | |
[16:58] | All right, codename Domino. | |
[17:01] | Why Domino? | |
[17:02] | Because when she falls, | |
[17:04] | she’ll bring the rest down with her. | |
[17:07] | Reminds me of my codename for you… | |
[17:08] | Solitaire, ’cause no one wants to play with you. | |
[17:11] | All right, so all I gotta do is go say hi to her | |
[17:14] | and just let the friendship unfold. | |
[17:16] | It’s not like I haven’t done this before. | |
[17:17] | Yeah, just say what you said to Marisa. | |
[17:19] | That seems to have worked out. | |
[17:21] | Ernie, we were children. | |
[17:22] | Okay, I don’t think “Circle, circle, dot, dot, | |
[17:24] | now you got the cootie shot,” is gonna work in this situation. | |
[17:29] | Hey, ladies! | |
[17:31] | Do you mind, KC? | |
[17:33] | We’re actually in the middle of a conversation. | |
[17:35] | Oh, what are we talking about? Boys? Homework? | |
[17:37] | I was just consoling Susie. | |
[17:39] | Her goldfish died last night. | |
[17:41] | Oh, I’m so sorry about that. | |
[17:43] | Well, I mean, if it makes you feel any better, | |
[17:45] | goldfish don’t really have the cognitive thinking powers | |
[17:47] | to recognize a complex relationship, | |
[17:49] | plus, you know, he dead now! | |
[17:53] | Was there a point to you coming over here and interrupting | |
[17:56] | other than regaling us with your fish facts? | |
[17:59] | Uh, yeah, actually, I was thinking maybe we could hang out sometime, | |
[18:02] | you know, for old times’ sake. | |
[18:04] | What old times? | |
[18:05] | We’re not friends. | |
[18:07] | Of course, but like, | |
[18:09] | what better time to make old times than now? | |
[18:12] | Dude, we’re graduating in a few months. | |
[18:15] | If you really wanted to get to know me, | |
[18:17] | where were you when I first moved here in the eighth grade | |
[18:20] | and everybody said I had cooties? | |
[18:21] | Were you there to give me a cootie shot? | |
[18:23] | No. No, you weren’t. | |
[18:25] | No? I mean, “Circle, circle, dot, dot…” | |
[18:28] | Too late! | |
[18:33] | What was that about? | |
[18:35] | Better question, what is this about? | |
[18:39] | It’s tight, right? | |
[18:41] | It’s definitely tight, | |
[18:42] | so tight I’m surprised you can breathe. | |
[18:45] | No, I can breathe, KC. | |
[18:47] | It’s the yawning and the sneezing that are the problems. | |
[18:52] | But that is the price you pay to be the most… | |
[18:55] | fashionable person in school! | |
[18:58] | …which clearly I am! | |
[19:03] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, | |
[19:05] | I have to go flaunt this outside. | |
[19:07] | Roger! George! | |
[19:19] | Uh, vote for me. | |
[19:20] | Vote for me. | |
[19:21] | Achoo! Ow! Ow! Ow! | |
[19:25] | This is so frustrating. | |
[19:27] | I know. | |
[19:29] | I have worn haute couture outfits every day to school this week, | |
[19:33] | and still there is no write-in campaign | |
[19:34] | to have me win most fashionable! | |
[19:36] | I mean, where is the groundswell of support | |
[19:38] | that this ensemble deserves! | |
[19:42] | The only thing that ensemble deserves is a burial at sea. | |
[19:48] | Look, I’m talking about Amy. | |
[19:49] | How am I supposed to become her best friend | |
[19:51] | when she already has a best friend? | |
[19:53] | You can’t have two best friends! | |
[19:54] | It literally contradicts the meaning of “best”! | |
[19:58] | Well, I mean, I hate to say this, | |
[19:59] | but you know who’d be really good at this? | |
[20:02] | – Brady. – Brady? | |
[20:03] | I mean, yeah. | |
[20:04] | He tricked me into liking him | |
[20:06] | just to get closer to you, | |
[20:07] | kind of like how you have to trick Amy | |
[20:10] | into liking you to get close to her family. | |
[20:12] | Yeah, well the only difference is you didn’t know Brady before, | |
[20:16] | and he didn’t really care who he hurt in the process. | |
[20:18] | This whole thing is just so icky! | |
[20:21] | I mean, icky or not, he turned me against you. | |
[20:24] | I mean, we were already in a huge fight, | |
[20:26] | but he totally took advantage of the situation. | |
[20:29] | Okay, so how am I supposed to get Amy and Susie in a big fight? | |
[20:32] | Well, I mean, I don’t know, I haven’t really had time to think this through, | |
[20:35] | but off the top of my head what if, I don’t know, you, say, | |
[20:39] | have Ernie hack into Amy’s phone, | |
[20:41] | go through her texts, | |
[20:42] | find out her deepest, darkest secret | |
[20:44] | that only her best friend would know, | |
[20:45] | spread that secret around school, | |
[20:46] | and then Amy would have no choice | |
[20:48] | but to assume Susie spilled the secret, | |
[20:49] | causing her to call off the friendship, | |
[20:50] | and then boom, you swoop in. | |
[20:54] | I cannot believe that I’m gonna say this, | |
[20:55] | but that is a really good idea. | |
[20:57] | Except now, instead of ruining one life that I know, | |
[21:00] | I will be ruining two. | |
[21:02] | So this just went from icky to ickier. | |
[21:16] | Hey, Amy, look, I don’t care what Susie says, | |
[21:19] | I do not believe her. | |
[21:22] | What are you talking about? | |
[21:24] | Oh! Oh, you don’t know? | |
[21:27] | Yeah, Susie, she’s going around school | |
[21:30] | and she’s telling people that the reason | |
[21:32] | Rick broke up with you | |
[21:34] | is because you gave him head lice. | |
[21:39] | And then you… | |
[21:40] | kissed his brother to get even with him. | |
[21:44] | She said that? | |
[21:45] | Yeah. | |
[21:50] | I hate you! | |
[21:59] | Hey, Amy, are you okay? | |
[22:01] | No, I’m not okay! | |
[22:03] | Okay, what’s wrong? | |
[22:05] | You ever have a friend you thought you could trust | |
[22:06] | and then you find out you totally couldn’t? | |
[22:08] | Well, sounds like you could use someone to talk to. | |
[22:11] | Hey, um, how about we go get some fresh air | |
[22:14] | and you can tell me all about it? | |
[22:15] | Thanks for being so nice, KC. | |
[22:18] | Yeah, no problem. Come on. | |
[22:20] | And also, I mean, if you’re up to it, | |
[22:21] | we can watch those cute little kitten videos. | |
[22:23] | I found this one where this one kid can’t stop sneezing. | |
[22:25] | I love that one! | |
[22:34] | Rob, your name’s on TV! |