| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.MY-SUBS.com | |
| [00:00] | WWW.MY-SUBS.COM | |
| [00:02] | Previously on KC Undercover… I thought you said you were | |
| [00:04] | with your sick grandma. You thought I was KC. | |
| [00:06] | Aha. I’m not. I’m her cousin Kassandra. | |
| [00:08] | Her cousin? Byron knows | |
| [00:10] | that something’s up, | |
| [00:11] | and I cannot blow my cover. | |
| [00:12] | Too bad you don’t have a secret twin | |
| [00:14] | locked in your basement. | |
| [00:15] | Hello, Bernice. | |
| [00:17] | Whassup, ugly? | |
| [00:18] | Hi, Byron! | |
| [00:19] | Remember my cousin Kassandra | |
| [00:21] | who you thought didn’t exist? | |
| [00:23] | I need to go to the bathroom. | |
| [00:25] | Uh, well, then I’ll just go with you. | |
| [00:35] | Bernice is dangerous, and it’s all my fault | |
| [00:38] | because I’m the one who let her out, and I don’t know what to do. | |
| [00:40] | What you should have done is had me wear that KC disguise | |
| [00:43] | that I wore to cover for you for the Organization. | |
| [00:45] | Nooooo, I don’t wanna go to jail. | |
| [00:49] | Good job, Marisa, you’re coming off really believable. | |
| [00:52] | Don’t make me take you, Bernice! | |
| [00:54] | Nooo, I thought you were my friend! | |
| [01:04] | I hate that I have to talk to this convict Bernice. | |
| [01:08] | Just saying her name makes me sick to my stomach… | |
| [01:10] | “Bernice.” Uggh! Sick! | |
| [01:12] | I tell you, just sick. | |
| [01:18] | Hey, sweetie, how ya holdin’ up? | |
| [01:21] | Terrible. It’s scary in here. | |
| [01:23] | I know, I know. | |
| [01:25] | Just… you know what, think about it | |
| [01:27] | as full-time detention. | |
| [01:30] | They don’t hose you down and delouse you in detention. | |
| [01:35] | To make it even worse, they have me sleeping | |
| [01:37] | on a mattress with questionable stains. | |
| [01:41] | Well, on the bright side, you’re not sleeping on the floor. | |
| [01:44] | I have to use the communal shower. | |
| [01:46] | Oh! Okay. | |
| [01:48] | So what I’m hearing is, you’re being exposed | |
| [01:50] | to lots of new people. | |
| [01:53] | I’m only allowed six squares of toilet paper a day. | |
| [01:57] | Six. Yeah. I found out the hard way | |
| [01:59] | when I wasted three on a sneeze. | |
| [02:01] | So, in other words, um… | |
| [02:05] | Uh, yeah, there’s no good spin on that one. | |
| [02:08] | Listen, just hang in there, okay? I’m getting lots of leads on Bernice | |
| [02:11] | and I should be locating her really soon. | |
| [02:13] | Okay. | |
| [02:15] | Ow. | |
| [02:17] | How the heck am I gonna find Bernice? | |
| [03:13] | Well, it looks like Marisa’s stuck in prison | |
| [03:15] | till we can find Bernice. | |
| [03:16] | You know, for once, I’d like this house | |
| [03:18] | to descend into chaos while I’m on a mission | |
| [03:20] | and your father’s at home. | |
| [03:21] | All right, what do we know? | |
| [03:24] | Nothing. Bernice could be anywhere at this point. | |
| [03:27] | We don’t even know her last name | |
| [03:29] | or if Bernice is just an alias. | |
| [03:30] | And for her sake, I hope it is, | |
| [03:32] | ’cause who names their kid Bernice? | |
| [03:34] | My original name was 6212171 | |
| [03:38] | dash X2P. | |
| [03:40] | “Bernice” doesn’t sound as bad now, does it? | |
| [03:43] | Uh, KC, there’s something you should see on the TV. | |
| [03:46] | Okay, Ernie, you can bore me with your dragon shows later, all right? | |
| [03:48] | You’re on TV. | |
| [03:50] | We have a composite sketch of the suspect, | |
| [03:53] | a young female | |
| [03:54] | who so far has robbed 14 convenience stores. | |
| [03:58] | She’s been dubbed the Inconvenience Store Robber. | |
| [04:03] | KC! How could you?! | |
| [04:05] | Oh, yeah, that makes tons of sense, Ernie. | |
| [04:07] | While you were in the bathroom I drove to Pennsylvania | |
| [04:10] | and robbed 14 convenience stores. | |
| [04:12] | Well, you could have been. | |
| [04:13] | He was in there for over an hour. | |
| [04:16] | The girl came in, and I took one look at those evil eyes, | |
| [04:18] | I knew she was up to no good. | |
| [04:19] | She took all the cash out the register, | |
| [04:21] | and even took all the pennies out the Give A Penny, Take A Penny dish! | |
| [04:24] | Now, what kind of monster does that? | |
| [04:29] | Hey, don’t look at me, I always give a penny! | |
| [04:31] | You know what, I’m going to Pennsylvania and I’m gonna catch Bernice. | |
| [04:35] | Don’t you think we should go with you for backup? I got this. | |
| [04:38] | So you’re gonna take care of this all on your own? | |
| [04:40] | Uh, yeah, all on my own. | |
| [04:42] | Sorta like how you decided to bust Bernice out | |
| [04:45] | all on your own, and then let her escape all on your own? | |
| [04:48] | And then disguise your best friend | |
| [04:50] | and put her in jail all on your own? | |
| [04:53] | Sure, go ahead! Mess it all up again | |
| [04:56] | all on your own. | |
| [04:58] | Excuse me, are you implying I can’t do this by myself? | |
| [05:02] | I’m not implying, I’m sayin’ it. | |
| [05:04] | You know what? Your brother’s right. | |
| [05:07] | Judy, Ernie, you’re going with KC. | |
| [05:08] | What? Mom, I… They’re coming with you, KC, | |
| [05:11] | no if, ands, or buts. | |
| [05:12] | If there’s no buts, then why is Ernie going? | |
| [05:23] | Oh, no. She’s back. | |
| [05:24] | Look, the cash register’s empty, but help yourself | |
| [05:27] | to all the beef jerky you want, just don’t hurt me. | |
| [05:28] | Okay, relax, relax, | |
| [05:30] | I am not the one who robbed you, okay? | |
| [05:31] | The woman who robbed you is an escaped convict | |
| [05:33] | who got a face transplant, and… | |
| [05:36] | You know what, just give me some beef jerky | |
| [05:39] | and you go crouch in the corner somewhere. | |
| [05:42] | Um, you don’t eat beef jerky. | |
| [05:44] | Oh, it’s not for me. | |
| [05:47] | What was that for?! | |
| [05:49] | That was for coming with me | |
| [05:50] | when I clearly told you I didn’t need any help. | |
| [05:52] | You know what, Judy, go scan the parking lot for clues. | |
| [06:00] | Based on the tire tracks and paint transfer on that light pole, | |
| [06:03] | we’re looking for a 2004 American-made | |
| [06:06] | four-door sedan in midnight blue. | |
| [06:08] | The Inconvenience Store Robber has struck again | |
| [06:11] | In Cherry Hill, New Jersey. | |
| [06:13] | Looks like we’re headed to Cherry Hill. | |
| [06:15] | Cherry Hill. A township in Camden County. | |
| [06:18] | Population 71,000, making it the 15th most populous municipality | |
| [06:22] | in New Jersey. | |
| [06:23] | 71 degrees. | |
| [06:25] | Hmm. Thank goodness I’m not doing this mission alone. | |
| [06:28] | I mean, how else would I have learned those useless facts? | |
| [06:31] | Well, I guess you could have done a simple Web search | |
| [06:33] | with the key words… Okay, you know what? | |
| [06:35] | Just get in the car. | |
| [06:40] | Um, what are you doing? | |
| [06:42] | I’m righting a wrong. | |
| [06:51] | Hey, Lucy, what’s up? Hey! | |
| [06:53] | Well, I am worried sick about my daughter Marisa. | |
| [06:57] | Aw, don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll graduate… | |
| [07:00] | eventually. | |
| [07:01] | But this isn’t even about school. | |
| [07:04] | No, Marisa is missing. | |
| [07:05] | No, no, she’s not missing. | |
| [07:06] | Oh. Um, she’s… | |
| [07:08] | been staying here with us at our house. | |
| [07:11] | Why? | |
| [07:12] | Why? Because, you know, | |
| [07:14] | she’s… is mad. At you. | |
| [07:18] | I mean really mad. | |
| [07:21] | She ran away from home | |
| [07:23] | and only got as far as next door? | |
| [07:25] | Boy, that girl is lazier than I thought she was. | |
| [07:29] | Wait, wait. Why is she even mad at me? | |
| [07:32] | Because, you know, ’cause of that thing you did. | |
| [07:34] | Oh, because I took away… Yep, uh-huh, that’s it. | |
| [07:37] | Wow. Well, thanks so much for watching her. | |
| [07:40] | I’m just gonna take her home now. | |
| [07:41] | Oh. Uh… Marisa! | |
| [07:45] | You know what, Lucy? She’s not here right now. | |
| [07:47] | She’ll be back in an hour. | |
| [07:49] | Okay. Yeah. | |
| [07:51] | Well, she better be, because I’m coming back | |
| [07:52] | when the big hand is on the 12 | |
| [07:54] | and the little hand is on the… | |
| [07:57] | Set the timer for one hour. | |
| [08:01] | No problem… | |
| [08:05] | …that a case of prosthetics, a voice modulator, | |
| [08:07] | and a good wig can’t solve. | |
| [08:17] | Okay, so this was the last convenience store Bernice robbed. | |
| [08:20] | I’m gonna go in. You two stay here. | |
| [08:21] | I need to go with you. I need a quick recharge. | |
| [08:23] | Maybe they’ll let me plug in. | |
| [08:24] | Yeah, an eleven-year-old with a retractable cord | |
| [08:27] | that comes out of her butt and plugs into the wall? | |
| [08:28] | That’s definitely not gonna raise any suspicion. | |
| [08:31] | It’s a truck stop in Jersey. | |
| [08:33] | I guaranty they’ve seen worse. | |
| [08:35] | Listen, you two stay here. | |
| [08:38] | At least put this ski mask on. | |
| [08:39] | You don’t want the clerk to think you’re Bernice. | |
| [08:42] | He can’t think you’re a threat. | |
| [08:45] | You want me to put this ski mask on | |
| [08:48] | so that I don’t look like a robber? | |
| [08:51] | Uh… yeah. | |
| [08:55] | Well, it sounds dumb when you put it like that. | |
| [08:58] | Uh, no, it sounds dumb any way you put it. | |
| [09:05] | Uh, Judy, what the heck did you eat at that convenience store? | |
| [09:09] | I’m getting a breaking news report. | |
| [09:11] | And the infamous Inconvenience Store Robber | |
| [09:15] | has now identified herself. | |
| [09:18] | Hey. Hey. I’m KC. KC Cooper. | |
| [09:21] | That’s C-O-O-P-E-R. | |
| [09:24] | Yeah, that’s right. | |
| [09:25] | Look at this face. | |
| [09:26] | This is the face of danger. | |
| [09:28] | And I will not stop | |
| [09:30] | until I am dragged away to prison for the rest of my life. | |
| [09:34] | And I deserve to pay for my crimes. | |
| [09:36] | With these pennies. | |
| [09:42] | You guys, what am I supposed to do now? | |
| [09:43] | Everybody thinks that I’m the robber. | |
| [09:45] | I’m gonna be a wanted woman. | |
| [09:46] | Well, there’s a first time for everything. | |
| [09:54] | I think we’re catching up to her. | |
| [09:55] | According to the police scanner, | |
| [09:57] | she just robbed this convenience store | |
| [09:59] | five minutes ago. | |
| [10:00] | KC, the cops could be here any second, | |
| [10:02] | and you’ve been identified. | |
| [10:03] | So we’ll go in and talk to the store clerk. | |
| [10:05] | Well, then, what am I supposed to do? | |
| [10:07] | You just sit here, all alone, and don’t of anything. | |
| [10:10] | You know, pretend it’s one of your regular Saturday nights. | |
| [10:14] | Ha ha ha ha. I don’t know why you’re laughing. | |
| [10:16] | That’s every night for you. | |
| [10:24] | KC Cooper, | |
| [10:26] | the Inconvenience Store Robber, | |
| [10:27] | has just been seen heading east | |
| [10:28] | on Route 78. | |
| [10:32] | Ernie, Judy, I’ve located Bernice. | |
| [10:34] | I’m gonna go get her. | |
| [10:36] | No! Don’t go alone! Wait for us! | |
| [10:39] | Guys, I got this, okay? | |
| [10:41] | I do not need your help. | |
| [10:44] | I’m in pursuit. | |
| [10:45] | Of myself. | |
| [10:55] | Hmm. | |
| [11:00] | Marisa Clarissa Miller! | |
| [11:02] | You get your butt down here right now! | |
| [11:07] | Okay… | |
| [11:08] | here comes undercover mother. | |
| [11:13] | Hello, Mother. | |
| [11:15] | I am a teenage runaway, and it is all your fault. | |
| [11:20] | Look, Marisa, I know I did that thing | |
| [11:23] | that made you mad and stuff, | |
| [11:25] | but enough is enough. | |
| [11:26] | It’s time to come home now. | |
| [11:28] | I am not coming home, Mother, | |
| [11:29] | and I honestly don’t know when I will be ready to come home. | |
| [11:32] | So until then, I bid you… adieu. | |
| [11:35] | Don’t you sass me with your fancy Cooper words. | |
| [11:39] | You’re coming home with me right now. | |
| [11:41] | No, I’m not. Yes, you are! | |
| [11:42] | No, I’m not! Yes, you are! | |
| [11:44] | No, I’m not! What if I take you shopping? | |
| [11:46] | Can we buy Kira something expensive | |
| [11:48] | to thank her for her hospitality? Sure! | |
| [11:49] | What are we waiting for, Mommy? Let’s go! | |
| [11:59] | Aha, there you are, you beautiful-on-the-outside, ugly-on-the-inside maniac. | |
| [12:06] | Okay. Ernie, Judy, I got eyes on Bernice. | |
| [12:09] | Good teamwork, KC. | |
| [12:11] | We were supposed to be doing this mission together. | |
| [12:13] | A big part of backing you up is not being left back here. | |
| [12:19] | Well, if it isn’t ugly-on-the-outide, ugly-on-the-inside KC. | |
| [12:37] | Hey! Pull over, you penny-stealing psychopath! | |
| [12:41] | Go read a dictionary, book worm! | |
| [12:45] | Having a fortitude of loquaciousness | |
| [12:48] | is nothing to be ashamed of. | |
| [12:51] | In other words, having a good vocabulary is cool! | |
| [12:57] | KC Cooper, | |
| [12:58] | we recognize your face of danger. | |
| [13:01] | Exit your vehicle with your hands up. | |
| [13:10] | Hey, uh, Ernie? | |
| [13:12] | Judy? Ha ha. | |
| [13:14] | Something kind of funny happened | |
| [13:15] | while I was trying to track down Bernice. | |
| [13:16] | We know. You’re getting arrested. | |
| [13:19] | How’d you guys know that? | |
| [13:21] | Uh, we’re watching it on the news. | |
| [13:25] | But hey, on the bright side, | |
| [13:27] | you did it all on your own. | |
| [13:32] | Hey, guys. | |
| [13:38] | Why are we raising suspicions | |
| [13:39] | by having an 11-year-old behind the wheel? | |
| [13:42] | Hey, when your feet are long enough to reach the pedals, | |
| [13:44] | you can drive. | |
| [13:46] | Why are we even bothering to help KC at this point? | |
| [13:50] | Based on Bernice’s pattern of robbery, | |
| [13:52] | she’s heading north-by-northeast, | |
| [13:54] | which means she can only be heading to one place: | |
| [13:56] | Iceland! She’s gonna hide in the Land of Fire and Ice! | |
| [14:02] | Hey, look at that, I grabbed a car that has more than one dipstick. | |
| [14:07] | Bernice is heading to Park Avenue in New York City. | |
| [14:10] | Where there are rich people, there are plastic surgeons, | |
| [14:12] | and Bernice wants nothing more than to get her old face back. | |
| [14:15] | So she’s been robbing the convenience stores to pay for her surgery! | |
| [14:19] | What if we’re already too late and she has a new face? | |
| [14:22] | Then we’ll just beat it down till it looks like KC again. | |
| [14:29] | So, what do you feel like ordering? | |
| [14:32] | I’m wondering if they have that shrimp pasta special? | |
| [14:37] | Marisa! You’re allergic to shrimp! | |
| [14:40] | Yeah, I know, I know. | |
| [14:42] | I was just making sure that… | |
| [14:44] | that they didn’t have it | |
| [14:46] | in anything I order. | |
| [14:50] | You know, Mom, thank you so much for taking me shopping today. | |
| [14:54] | I know Kira is gonna love those expensive, fancy shoes we got her. | |
| [14:57] | You put so much thought into that gift | |
| [15:00] | you’d think you were buying ’em for yourself. | |
| [15:05] | Well, you always taught me to be generous, so… | |
| [15:08] | No… No, I didn’t. | |
| [15:12] | I did have fun with you today. | |
| [15:13] | You are really growing up. | |
| [15:15] | You know, Lucy… uh, I mean, Mom… | |
| [15:19] | I had fun too. | |
| [15:21] | I’m really lucky I have you. | |
| [15:23] | Tell me about it. | |
| [15:25] | Can you imagine if you’d be stuck with that Kira as a mother? | |
| [15:28] | Excuse me? | |
| [15:32] | Well, I mean, I… I don’t mean to talk out of turn, | |
| [15:34] | but that Kira is a real mess. | |
| [15:36] | Well, I don’t know about that. | |
| [15:39] | KC’s a straight-A student. | |
| [15:41] | Well, of course she is. | |
| [15:42] | She spends all of her time at the library | |
| [15:44] | away from that mother of hers. | |
| [15:46] | She’s… | |
| [15:48] | sketchy, that Kira. | |
| [15:52] | If by “sketchy” you mean loving, dedicated | |
| [15:55] | and still got it goin’ on. | |
| [15:56] | Well, I’ll tell ya, something’s goin’ on, | |
| [15:58] | because I once saw her at two-thirty in the morning | |
| [16:01] | getting into a van with a strange man… | |
| [16:03] | who was tied up! | |
| [16:07] | Well, you know what, maybe you should be worrying about | |
| [16:10] | where your own daughter is at night. | |
| [16:13] | Where are you at night? | |
| [16:15] | In my room, praying, | |
| [16:18] | and thinking about how grateful I am to have you as a mom. | |
| [16:21] | Now, we weren’t talking about me, | |
| [16:23] | we were talking about that hot mess Kira. | |
| [16:25] | She’s awful, isn’t she? | |
| [16:28] | Okay, let’s find Bernice. | |
| [16:30] | Excuse me. | |
| [16:32] | Dr. Depardieu? From Paris? | |
| [16:34] | Uh, yes. | |
| [16:37] | Uh, I mean, oui. | |
| [16:39] | Arent you a little young to be a plastic surgeon? | |
| [16:42] | Well, that ees because, I was, how you say it, | |
| [16:45] | child prodigy. | |
| [16:47] | I graduated medical school at fourteen. | |
| [16:50] | Oh, impressive. And you are? | |
| [16:52] | Uh, these is my surgical nurse. | |
| [16:56] | Coco Takanawa? | |
| [17:00] | Is this some kind of joke? | |
| [17:02] | This is obviously a child. | |
| [17:04] | Ha! Ha! | |
| [17:06] | A child? How flattering. | |
| [17:08] | I’m actually a patient of Dr. Depardieu’s, | |
| [17:10] | and I’m sixty-two years young! | |
| [17:12] | But shhh. Don’t tell my boyfriend. | |
| [17:16] | Wow! You are good. | |
| [17:19] | Your patient is waiting for you in operating room A. | |
| [17:21] | Is this patient’s name Bernice? | |
| [17:23] | No, it’s Harold. | |
| [17:24] | In that case, we need to consult with Dr. Tuckfeld. | |
| [17:27] | Dr. Tuckfeld is about to start surgery in operating room B. | |
| [17:31] | Well, B is where we’ll be. Right, Dr. Depardieu? | |
| [17:34] | Oui, oui. B-B. | |
| [17:36] | Bye-bye! | |
| [17:39] | Hurry it up, doc, I can’t wait to get rid of | |
| [17:41] | this disgusting excuse for a face. | |
| [17:43] | Not that I mind the business, | |
| [17:45] | but I’m not a proponent of unnecessary plastic surgery. | |
| [17:48] | Ah, who cares what you think, you quack? | |
| [17:50] | Just start slicing. | |
| [17:52] | Oh, and don’t be stingy with that night-night gas. | |
| [17:54] | I don’t want to feel a thing. | |
| [17:57] | Stop that surgery! | |
| [17:58] | Ah, come on! Seriously? | |
| [18:00] | Keep back, Dr. Tuckfeld. | |
| [18:02] | That woman is a dangerous fugitive. | |
| [18:04] | I should have known. The ones who pay | |
| [18:06] | with a backpack full of cash usually are. | |
| [18:08] | Let the doctor go. | |
| [18:10] | No. Not until I get my old face back. | |
| [18:13] | That’s what you think. Nurse? | |
| [18:15] | Ohh! I’m going back to nose jobs and butt work! | |
| [18:23] | Yahh! | |
| [18:28] | Uh, Judy, you plan on helping? | |
| [18:31] | Hey, I drove the car. Can’t you do anything on your own? | |
| [18:38] | Hey! | |
| [18:49] | Okay, fine. | |
| [18:59] | I’m an expert in 17 different kinds of martial arts. | |
| [19:02] | Which one would you prefer to be beaten up by? | |
| [19:04] | Karate? Yah! | |
| [19:06] | Kung-fu? Waaa. | |
| [19:08] | Or my personal favorite, Judy-Jitsu. | |
| [19:11] | Eeeeyaaagh! | |
| [19:18] | Aaah! Ow! | |
| [19:23] | This is too weird! | |
| [19:25] | It’s like I’m beating up my sister! | |
| [19:27] | Give up? No. It’s like I’m beating up my sis-aaah! | |
| [19:35] | Whoo! I’ve been waitin’ sixteen years to do that! | |
| [19:40] | Nurse… | |
| [19:50] | Ah, well. Welcome home, Bernice. | |
| [19:53] | I’m sure they saved a mattress with questionable stains just for you. | |
| [19:57] | Great. So I escaped for nothing. | |
| [19:59] | I’ll be stuck with these eyebrows forever. | |
| [20:01] | Seriously, what’d you do, paint them on? | |
| [20:07] | KC…- | |
| [20:09] | Wait, which one of you is KC? | |
| [20:12] | Of course I know which one of you is KC. | |
| [20:14] | I’d know my best friend anywhere. | |
| [20:15] | Hug me, I’ll cut you. | |
| [20:18] | KC! | |
| [20:19] | I’d know my best friend anywhere. | |
| [20:22] | Can I take this off now? | |
| [20:23] | Yeah, sure, go ahead. | |
| [20:25] | Whoo! | |
| [20:28] | Lucky. Last time I tried that, my face hurt for a week. | |
| [20:34] | I hate you, KC Cooper! | |
| [20:35] | Right back atcha. And I want my clothes back! | |
| [20:40] | Well, Bernice is officially behind bars. | |
| [20:47] | I want to say thank you. | |
| [20:48] | You were right. I… I need the backup, | |
| [20:51] | and I could not have pulled this whole thing off without you. | |
| [20:53] | We know, because you tried. And failed. | |
| [20:56] | And then tried again. And failed. | |
| [20:58] | And then tried again… You make it very difficult to be nice to you. | |
| [21:03] | I know. It’s kind of my thing. | |
| [21:05] | Oh, KC, look, you’re on TV. | |
| [21:08] | …In a case of mistaken identity, | |
| [21:10] | the Inconvenience Store Robber was falsely identified as KC Cooper. | |
| [21:14] | The real KC Cooper, who had nothing to do with the robberies, | |
| [21:18] | is a straight-A student, a model citizen, | |
| [21:21] | and a lover of all animals. | |
| [21:25] | Wow. You guys really think of everything. | |
| [21:27] | I didn’t call that in. Neither did I. | |
| [21:31] | What? Some stuff | |
| [21:33] | you still gotta do all on your own. | |
| [21:38] | Rob, your name’s on TV! |