| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:19] | Melissa and I… | 梅丽莎和我… |
| [00:20] | had sex. | 做了 |
| [00:22] | Good for you. | 真有你的 |
| [00:23] | I just keep thinking about if Todd wasn’t here. | 我一直想 如果陶德没来的话会怎样 |
| [00:26] | Todd is here. | 陶德来了 |
| [00:27] | Hey, bud, want to go for a ride? | 兄弟 出去溜一圈怎么样 |
| [00:30] | Nice try, Phil. | 得了吧 菲尔 |
| [00:31] | I knew you were coming back the whole time. | 我就知道你会回来的 |
| [00:34] | So did I. | 是啊 |
| [00:37] | You know, one of the positives about no people | 你知道吗 没有人的一个好处就是 |
| [00:39] | is that we get to see the stars, huh? | 我们可以仰望星空 |
| [00:44] | Todd, thank you for helping me move my dresser upstairs. | 陶德 谢谢你帮我把梳妆台搬到楼上 |
| [00:47] | Ah, anytime, Carol. It was fun, you know? | 任你差遣 卡萝尔 其实挺有意思的 |
| [00:49] | Gave me a chance to get some one-on-one time with you. | 让我能和你单独在一起待一会儿 |
| [00:52] | So in a way, it was kind of a selfish move. | 所以 我其实也是出于私心啦 |
| [00:56] | Such a sweetie. | 你真是太贴心了 |
| [00:59] | What’s that, Melissa? | 那是什么 梅丽莎 |
| [01:01] | Well, someone went out and got me a charm bracelet. | 有人出去给我弄来了一只漂亮的镯子 |
| [01:04] | Was that someone’s name Todd? | 那个人是叫陶德吗 |
| [01:10] | Did Todd get that for you or…? | 陶德是送给你的还是… |
| [01:13] | – Yes. – I got it… I got it for her. | -是的 -是我 是我送给她的 |
| [01:14] | Todd. That’s so sweet. | 陶德 你真是太贴心了 |
| [01:17] | Phil’s never gotten me anything. | 菲尔从来没送过我任何东西 |
| [01:18] | Carol, I got you that rash cream. | 卡萝尔 我送了你那个湿疹膏 |
| [01:21] | I stand corrected. | 我纠正一下 |
| [01:23] | “Phil’s never gotten me anything.” as if. | 菲尔就像从来没送过我东西一样 |
| [01:26] | Guys, I hope you don’t mind | 伙计们 我希望你们 |
| [01:27] | giving me the floor here for a minute. | 不介意让我说两句 |
| [01:29] | I don’t know if you know this, | 我不知道你们知不知道 |
| [01:30] | but in my spare time, I like to sculpt a little bit. | 但我空闲的时候喜欢雕刻 |
| [01:32] | Anyways, I had a little time on my hands, and, uh… | 既然我现在比较闲 |
| [01:36] | I made you all this. | 我给你们做了这个 |
| [01:38] | – Oh, that is so cute. – Thanks. | -这真是太可爱了 -谢谢夸奖 |
| [01:41] | You have a real gift, Todd. | 你真是个人才 陶德 |
| [01:45] | Isn’t that amazing, Phil? | 这真是太棒了 对吧 菲尔 |
| [01:47] | I’m blown away. | 我惊呆了 |
| [01:48] | It’s so frigging awesome, Todd. | 这简直是棒呆了 陶德 |
| [01:51] | Thanks, buddy. You know, I figured we’d, | 谢谢你 你知道的 我觉得我们 |
| [01:53] | you know, leave it out here… | 就把这个放在这里 |
| [01:56] | you know, by-by the campfire. | 放在篝火旁边 |
| [01:58] | That’s a great idea! | 真是个好主意 |
| [02:01] | Give me one right here. | 过来吻我一下 |
| [02:05] | Fell for that old one. | 你又中招了 |
| [02:06] | Such a sucker. | 笨蛋 |
| [02:07] | Well, and I’d fall for it a million times over. | 无论多少次我都会中招的 |
| [02:11] | You guys are so adorable. | 你们俩真是太有爱了 |
| [02:14] | Yeah, really, really adorable. | 是啊 太太太有爱了 |
| [02:18] | Oh, G-God! | 天 天呐 |
| [02:19] | Oh, no! No! | 不会吧 不会吧 |
| [02:22] | I accidentally broke Todd’s awesome sculpture. | 我不小心弄坏了陶德精心制作的雕像 |
| [02:24] | – Ah, the Phil fell off. – It’s okay. | -菲尔摔下来了 -没事的 |
| [02:26] | Looks like it was a clean break. | 看起来断得还挺干脆的 |
| [02:28] | It actually looks good without the Phil. | 其实没有菲尔也挺好的 |
| [02:30] | You know what, I can… I can totally fix that. | 其实我可以 我完全可以修好的 |
| [02:32] | Todd. | 陶德 |
| [02:33] | What can’t you do? | 有什么是你不能做的吗 |
| [02:35] | – Stop. – Nothing. | -别说啦 -你什么都会 |
| [02:44] | Carol! | 卡萝尔 |
| [02:46] | Carol! | 卡萝尔 |
| [02:46] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [02:47] | Oh, hey. Can I borrow your DVR? | 你好 我能借一下你的录像机吗 |
| [02:49] | I’ve watched everything on mine. | 我把自己上面的都看完了 |
| [02:50] | Okay, but this one only has Cake Bosses on it. | 可以啊 但这个上面只有《蛋糕老板》 |
| [02:52] | Okay, great. | 行 好的 |
| [02:53] | – Spoiler alert… – Oh, no, no, I don’t want to… | -给你剧透一下 -不不不 我不想 |
| [02:56] | – The cake… – Don’t. | -那个蛋糕 -别啊 |
| [02:57] | won’t fit in the… | 装不进 |
| [03:00] | You done? | 你说完了吗 |
| [03:01] | van. | 车里 |
| [03:02] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [03:03] | I gave you so many clues that I didn’t want to hear that. | 我暗示你那么多次我不想听 |
| [03:05] | I just didn’t want you to get your hopes up | 我只是不想让你白白期待 |
| [03:06] | about getting the cake there in one piece. | 那个蛋糕能完整的装进去 |
| [03:09] | Okay, I understand. Thanks for telling me. | 好吧 我知道了 谢谢你告诉我 |
| [03:11] | Hey, you know, we could commingle our DVRs | 你知道吗 我们可以把我们的录像合并一下 |
| [03:13] | if we just lived together. | 如果我们住在一起的话 |
| [03:15] | Carol, you know how I feel about my space. | 卡萝尔 你知道我多喜欢私人空间的 |
| [03:17] | I know, but the space isn’t really helping | 我知道 但你的空间不利于 |
| [03:20] | with our repopulation plan. | 我们的繁衍计划啊 |
| [03:22] | I mean, look at Todd and Melissa. | 你看看陶德和梅丽莎 |
| [03:24] | They’ve known each other for, like, | 他们相识的时间 |
| [03:26] | half the amount of time we have, | 还没有我们的一半呢 |
| [03:28] | and they’re already basically living with each other. | 而他们已经差不多住在一起了 |
| [03:30] | Carol, there’s a huge difference between | 卡萝尔 差不多住在一起和住在一起 |
| [03:33] | basically living with each other and living with each other. | 两者之间有很大的差别 |
| [03:36] | Well, can you at least fix my door, for Pete’s dragon? | 妙妙龙在上 那你能至少把我的门修好吗 |
| [03:40] | Oh, it always comes back to the frigging door! | 老天 为什么总是要说到这该死的门 |
| [03:42] | Forget about it, you scrub. | 算了 你这个混蛋 |
| [03:44] | I’ll just get Todd to do it then. | 我还是让陶德来修吧 |
| [03:46] | Oh, God! Todd this, Todd that. | 老天 陶德这 陶德那 |
| [03:49] | “Todd’s my hero.” | 陶德是我的英雄 |
| [03:50] | Todd?! | 陶德 |
| [03:51] | Todd would probably do a better job, | 陶德可能会干得更好 |
| [03:53] | and he would do it with a smile on his beautiful face. | 而且他干活的时候 帅气的脸上还面带微笑 |
| [03:56] | Carol, I get no respect in this community! | 卡萝尔 我在这个社区里毫无尊严可言 |
| [03:59] | In fact, the whole reason I came over here | 事实上 本来我来这里 |
| [04:00] | in the first place was to fix your door. | 就是为了把你的门修好 |
| [04:03] | I thought it was to borrow my DVR. | 我以为你是来借录像机的 |
| [04:05] | Yeah, borrowing your DVR is a subset of fixing this door. | 是 帮你修门顺便借一下录像机 |
| [04:08] | Okay? See? | 好吗 懂吗 |
| [04:10] | I’m taking measurements right in front of your eyes. | 我正在你眼皮子地下测量这个门 |
| [04:11] | – There we go. Got it. – All right. | -好了 了解了 -好吧 |
| [04:15] | You don’t have to fix my door, Phil. | 你不必修我的门的 菲尔 |
| [04:17] | I don’t? Oh, thank God. | 不用吗 谢天谢地 |
| [04:19] | If you let me move in with you. | 如果你让我和你住到一起的话 |
| [04:21] | Oh, no, no, no, no, no. | 不不不不不 |
| [04:23] | I’m fixing this door. | 我一定要修门 |
| [04:25] | Okay, there we go. | 好了 了解了 |
| [04:26] | Off to the door store. Gonna remember this measurement. | 我去商店了 我会记住这个尺寸的 |
| [04:31] | I don’t know how much longer I can take this whole Todd lovefest! | 我不知道我还能忍受陶德的人气多久 |
| [04:34] | “Oh, hi, I’m Todd. | 大家好 我是陶德 |
| [04:36] | “Let me kiss your ass, ladies, | 让我拍拍你们的马屁吧 女士们 |
| [04:37] | “And do a bunch of nice things for you. | 让我来帮你们很多忙吧 |
| [04:39] | “Oh, hi, I’m Todd. | 大家好 我是陶德 |
| [04:40] | Check out this stupid crappy sculpture I did.” | 看看我做的这个烂透了的雕像吧 |
| [04:43] | You guys want to see a sculpture? | 你们想要看雕像吗 |
| [04:44] | This is a frigging sculpture. | 这他妈才是雕像 |
| [04:47] | It’s Thomas. | 它叫托马斯 |
| [04:48] | He’s perfect, right? | 他简直完美 对吧 |
| [04:50] | I mean, I set up this whole frigging community! | 这整个社区都是我一手建立的 |
| [04:52] | None of them would be here right now if it wasn’t for me. | 要不是我的话 他们都不会在这里 |
| [04:54] | And do I get any credit for that? | 但我得到了什么呢 |
| [04:56] | No, I don’t. | 我什么也没得到 |
| [04:57] | Okay, here, I got another one. | 给 我又捏了一个 |
| [05:00] | It’s Diego. | 这是迭戈 |
| [05:01] | See, Todd, anyone can do this crap! | 看见没 陶德 谁不会啊 |
| [05:04] | Look, Todd cannot come in here and steal my thunder. | 听着 陶德不能就这样抢了我的风头 |
| [05:07] | I mean, I’m the frigging | 我他妈才是 |
| [05:08] | President of the United States of America, for God’s sake. | 美国总统啊 老天 |
| [05:11] | I just wish there was some way | 真希望能有个法子 |
| [05:12] | I could remind them of how important I am. | 让他们认识到我有多重要 |
| [05:15] | Some grand gesture I could make. | 一些我能做到的惊人举动 |
| [05:18] | Something spectacular. It’s got to be spectacular. | 让人大开眼界的 一定得很厉害才行 |
| [05:20] | Got to be spectacular. | 一定得很厉害才行 |
| [05:22] | Come on, think, think, think. | 快点 想想 想想 想想 |
| [05:25] | Spectacular. What’s spectacular? | 厉害的 有什么厉害的呢 |
| [05:27] | What would really blow them away? | 什么能真的把他们都惊呆呢 |
| [05:29] | What’s a… | 到底… |
| [05:43] | You are… frigging… kidding me. | 你他妈 一定是 在逗我 |
| [05:55] | In a moment, I’m gonna open this door, | 马上 我就要打开这扇门 |
| [05:57] | and you’re gonna see something | 你们会看到一样东西 |
| [05:58] | that’s gonna knock your frigging socks off. | 肯定会把你们吓尿的 |
| [06:00] | I mean, this is a game changer. | 这绝对是一样惊天劈地的东西 |
| [06:03] | It’s… a game changer. | 是个 惊天劈地的东西 |
| [06:04] | I don’t know how else to put it. | 我不知道还能怎么描述 |
| [06:06] | – Okay, but I have a question. – Yeah? | -好的 但我有一个问题 -你说 |
| [06:08] | Is this going to change the game in any way? | 它到底怎么惊天劈地呢 |
| [06:12] | Maybe this will answer your question, okay? | 你一看就知道了 好吗 |
| [06:15] | Bam. | 锵锵 |
| [06:20] | I know, right? | 很棒 对吧 |
| [06:21] | What an incredible empty doorway. | 真是令人惊叹的空门廊 |
| [06:23] | Wh-What? Wait. | 什么 等等 |
| [06:24] | Wow, this is really gonna change the game. | 这可真是惊天劈地 |
| [06:26] | Yeah, I mean, all I’m seeing is a whole lot of empty space | 是啊 我只看到了独居男的 |
| [06:29] | for one man living all alone. | 一栋空房子 |
| [06:32] | It’s sad really. | 真可怜 |
| [06:33] | Carol, now’s not the time. | 卡萝尔 现在别说这个 |
| [06:35] | Well, it’s never the time! | 什么时候才能说 |
| [06:40] | What? Holy cow. | 我去 竟然有头牛 |
| [06:42] | Oh, my God! | 我的天哪 |
| [06:44] | I thought I’d never see another animal again! | 我还以为再也看不到其他动物了 |
| [06:47] | Hi there, little lady. | 你好啊 姑娘 |
| [06:49] | Amazing! | 太棒了 |
| [06:51] | Well, look what I did, huh? | 看看 我棒吧 |
| [06:54] | So how do you guys like your burgers? | 你们想吃什么口味的汉堡 |
| [06:55] | Ha, ha, Phil, very funny. | 哈哈 菲尔 真有意思 |
| [06:57] | The lady prefers steak? | 还是说你们女士想吃牛排 |
| [06:59] | Oh, you’re serious? | 你是认真的啊 |
| [07:01] | Phil, we have to keep this cow alive for milk. | 菲尔 我们得养着这头奶牛挤牛奶啊 |
| [07:03] | Hey, we don’t know how to take care of an animal like this. | 我们又不懂该怎么照顾这种动物 |
| [07:06] | I mean, this thing will be dead in, like, three weeks. | 这货 可能三周就会死了 |
| [07:08] | So let’s just do the humane thing | 我们还是人道一点 |
| [07:10] | and murder it now so we can have burgers tonight. | 现在杀了它 那样今晚我们就能吃汉堡了 |
| [07:13] | You know, Phil, I might be able to help us out here. | 菲尔 我也许能帮忙 |
| [07:16] | You’ve killed a cow before? | 你以前也杀过奶牛吗 |
| [07:17] | No. As a kid, I used to spend my summers on my uncle’s dairy farm. | 不 我儿时夏天在我叔叔的乳品农场待过 |
| [07:21] | So you know how to milk it? | 那你知道怎么挤奶咯 |
| [07:22] | I can get you milk, I can churn you butter. | 我可以挤牛奶 还知道怎么做黄油 |
| [07:24] | Uh, I can get you yogurt, cheese. | 我还能做出酸奶 奶酪 |
| [07:26] | Pretty much anything dairy is at our disposal now. | 我们现在要什么乳制品就有什么 |
| [07:30] | Todd, you’re the best! | 陶德 你最棒了 |
| [07:32] | I’m gonna start calling you the milkman, milkman. | 我以后就叫你送奶工了 送奶工 |
| [07:35] | Carol. | 卡萝尔 |
| [07:36] | With all due respect to the milkman here, | 恕我冒昧 送奶工 |
| [07:38] | who definitely deserves all this praise | 他显然担得起这所有的称赞 |
| [07:40] | for basically just standing around, | 因为他就只是站在这里啥都没干 |
| [07:42] | I found this thing, so it’ll be my call what happens with it. | 牛是我发现的 该怎么处理也该由我决定 |
| [07:45] | Okay, Todd? | 对吗 陶德 |
| [07:46] | No, no, no, no, no. | 不不不不不 |
| [07:47] | Phil, just because you found the cow | 菲尔 不能因为奶牛是你发现的 |
| [07:48] | doesn’t give you the right to decide what we do with it. | 你就随意决定我们要怎么对待这头奶牛 |
| [07:51] | Yes, it does. | 没错 就是这样 |
| [07:53] | Clearly you’ve forgotten about | 你们显然忘记了 |
| [07:54] | a little something called finders keepers. | 有句话叫做谁捡到归谁 |
| [07:56] | Finders keepers? Are you five years old? | 谁捡到归谁 你五岁吗 |
| [07:59] | And like clockwork, the losers weep. | 当然 捡不到的就哭去吧 |
| [08:01] | Phil, we aren’t children, and this isn’t a playground. | 菲尔 我们不是小孩子 这里也不是游乐场 |
| [08:04] | Doy! | 当然 |
| [08:06] | Come on, Phil. | 别这样 菲尔 |
| [08:07] | Yeah, this is ridiculous! | 是啊 这太荒谬了 |
| [08:09] | Hey, hey, I’m not trying to fight with you here, okay? | 我不是想和你们吵 好吗 |
| [08:12] | I’m just trying to tell you what I could do | 我只是在告诉你们如果我是个自私的人 |
| [08:15] | if I was a selfish person. | 我能怎么做 |
| [08:16] | But what I will do, | 但因为我是个有团队精神的人 |
| [08:17] | since I’m the ultimate team player, | 我要做的是不管”谁捡到归谁” |
| [08:19] | is bypass FK and let this little mother live. | 那句屁话 养着这小母牛 |
| [08:24] | Phil, that’s very big of you. | 菲尔 你真是太伟大了 |
| [08:26] | It is a pretty big sacrifice, | 这真是很大的牺牲 |
| [08:28] | especially considering someone in our midst | 尤其是考虑到我们中有人 |
| [08:30] | might be severely lactose intolerant. | 也许患有严重的乳糖不耐症 |
| [08:33] | Are you lactose intolerant? | 你有乳糖不耐症吗 |
| [08:37] | Yes. | 是啊 |
| [08:38] | Ah, really? | 真的吗 |
| [08:40] | But no worries, you know. | 但不用担心 |
| [08:41] | Just seeing the three of you happy is my milk. | 看到你们仨都高兴我就高兴了 |
| [08:44] | Well, aren’t you a martyr? | 你真有牺牲精神 |
| [08:46] | Well, if I’m a martyr, | 如果我有牺牲精神的话 |
| [08:47] | then I guess you’re also gonna have to call Christ a martyr. | 你们大概也会说耶稣有牺牲精神吧 |
| [08:50] | Hey, Phil, you know, I have a ton of grass in my backyard. | 菲尔 我后院里有很多草 |
| [08:53] | I’d be more than happy to keep her back there if you want. | 如果你愿意的话 我很乐意把它养在那里 |
| [08:55] | Nice try, Todd. No. I found it; | 想得美 陶德 不行 是我发现的 |
| [08:57] | it’ll stay right here. | 它得待在这里 |
| [08:58] | Oh, so a barnyard animal gets to move in with you, | 一头农场动物都能和你住在一起 |
| [09:01] | but, uh, not your own wife? | 你妻子却不能和你住在一起吗 |
| [09:03] | Carol, this is perfect for the cow! | 卡萝尔 这样对奶牛来说最好了 |
| [09:05] | All these hard tiles for it to hoof around on. | 有这么些瓷砖让它走来走去 |
| [09:07] | I mean, look at her, she loves it! | 你看看它 它多高兴啊 |
| [09:08] | Wh-Whoa, where you going, girl?! | 你要去哪儿 姑娘 |
| [09:12] | Looks like she’s headed to Todd’s. | 看起来它往陶德家去了 |
| [09:15] | Oh, good, good, good. | 好啊 好啊 好啊 |
| [09:20] | Good, good, good, good. | 好啊 好啊 好啊 |
| [09:21] | Friggin’ Todd. | 又他妈是陶德 |
| [09:23] | You like that grass, don’t you, little lady? | 你喜欢这些草 对吧 小姑娘 |
| [09:26] | I’m sorry, Phil, should we take her back to your place? | 抱歉 菲尔 我们要把它带回你家吗 |
| [09:29] | Well, I’m sure she prefers my foyer, | 我相信她肯定更喜欢我家大厅 |
| [09:30] | but, uh, you know, it’s been a really big day. | 但 今天是个大好日子 |
| [09:32] | Maybe just tonight we’ll, uh, let her stay here. Sure. | 今晚我们就让她待在这里吧 |
| [09:35] | Okay, well, let’s get you tied up. | 让我把你拴起来 |
| [09:39] | My uncle taught me this knot. | 我叔叔教过我怎么打这种结 |
| [09:40] | It’s called a clove hitch. | 这个叫卷结 |
| [09:42] | Yeah, the old clove hitch. Know it well. | 是啊 老式卷结 我很清楚 |
| [09:44] | – Oh, you do? – Everyone does. | -你也知道啊 -大家都知道 |
| [09:46] | Anybody want to learn how to milk a cow? | 有人想学学怎么挤奶吗 |
| [09:48] | – Yes! I do! – Oh, I do! | -当然 我想 -我想 |
| [09:49] | – All right. – Here you go. | -好的 -你示范吧 |
| [09:50] | Here we go. | 那我就示范下 |
| [09:52] | So, first you grab the teat like this. Okay? | 首先你这样抓住奶头 |
| [09:56] | You massage the teat, | 抚摸奶头 |
| [09:57] | and then you gently tug on it. | 然后轻轻拉几下 |
| [09:59] | Did you really learn that on your uncle’s farm | 你这是在你叔叔的农场学的 |
| [10:01] | or during your summers working as a male prostitute? | 还是你暑假做鸭时学的 |
| [10:05] | That’s a good one, Phil. | 真会说笑 菲尔 |
| [10:07] | Yeah, it is a risque motion, but it gets the job done. | 动作确实淫荡 不过屡试不爽 |
| [10:12] | Milk! We have milk! Oh, my gosh! | 牛奶 我们有牛奶了 天哪 |
| [10:15] | Anybody want a sip? | 有谁想喝一口吗 |
| [10:16] | Yeah, I do! Oh, my God! I do! | 我来 天哪 我来 |
| [10:21] | It’s good, isn’t it? | 好喝吧 |
| [10:25] | Phil, you want a sip? | 菲尔 你也要喝吗 |
| [10:26] | Uh, God, I’m-I’m sorry, Phil. I forgot you’re lactose intolerant. | 抱歉菲尔 我忘记你有乳糖不耐症了 |
| [10:31] | Yeah, yeah. I did say that. | 对对 我确实说过 |
| [10:33] | Diagnosed lactose intolerant. | 我被诊断为乳糖不耐症 |
| [10:34] | – Type 2, the worst type. – Yeah. Sorry. | -继发性的 最严重的那种 -很遗憾 |
| [10:36] | Todd, tell us more about cows. | 陶德 再给我们说说奶牛的事吧 |
| [10:38] | Well, I don’t know much. | 我知道的也不多 |
| [10:39] | I know that they can go upstairs, | 我知道他们会上楼 |
| [10:41] | but they can’t come downstairs. | 但是不会下楼 |
| [10:42] | Oh, my Uncle Gary was the same way. | 我加里叔叔也是这样 |
| [10:45] | Maybe he had some cow genes in him. | 可能他身上有奶牛基因 |
| [10:48] | Maybe. | 可能吧 |
| [10:50] | And I know you can’t milk a bull. | 我还知道公牛挤不出奶 |
| [10:52] | I learned that the hard way. | 我可是吃了一番苦头才知道的 |
| [10:54] | A story for another time. | 这个故事下次再讲吧 |
| [10:56] | Yeah. | 好啊 |
| [10:57] | Oh, God. | 天哪 |
| [11:00] | You know, the odor of this milk is really triggering my intolerance. | 牛奶的味道让我很不舒服 |
| [11:03] | You know, stomach really hurting here. | 我的胃好疼 |
| [11:05] | Okay, well, | 其实 |
| [11:06] | the pain is worth it when I see the smiles on your faces. | 看到你们开心我疼也值了 |
| [11:08] | I should go, I should go. | 我该走了 我该走了 |
| [11:09] | Enjoy your milk that I found. | 享受我发现的牛奶吧 |
| [11:13] | Anybody want a White Russian? | 有人想喝白俄罗斯鸡尾酒吗 |
| [11:15] | Oh, my God. | 天哪 |
| [11:15] | Todd, you’re the best. | 陶德 你棒呆了 |
| [11:17] | Let’s get some more milk. | 我们再多挤点奶 |
| [11:19] | Oh, my God. | 天哪 |
| [11:32] | Okay, okay, okay. | 好好好 |
| [11:34] | Here we go. Yes, yes, yes. | 挤点奶 就是这样 |
| [11:37] | Okay. | 棒 |
| [12:04] | Something about a woman who can milk a cow. | 某位美女也会挤奶 |
| [12:07] | Gross, Todd. | 恶心不恶心 陶德 |
| [12:10] | Frigging Todd. | 该死的陶德 |
| [12:17] | Todd, you big undeserving hero. | 陶德你个专捡便宜的大英雄 |
| [12:20] | Looks like your clove hitch was not cloved enough. | 看来你打的卷结还不够卷啊 |
| [12:24] | And now their precious milk and cheese and yogurt | 他们珍贵的牛奶奶酪酸奶 |
| [12:28] | is going bye-bye. | 要跟他们说拜拜了 |
| [12:29] | And who’s to blame? | 这怪谁呢 |
| [12:30] | You. | 当然是你 |
| [12:32] | Come on, come on. | 来吧 来吧 |
| [12:34] | Come on, heel, heel. | 来 快逃走吧 |
| [12:35] | Mush, mush. | 快走 快 |
| [12:39] | I never thought I’d be so excited about a bowl of cereal. | 我从没这么期待一碗燕麦片 |
| [12:42] | I know. I don’t know if I can wait. | 我也是 真是等不及了 |
| [12:44] | Can we just go out to the cow | 我们能直接出去 |
| [12:45] | – and milk it directly into the bowl? – Guys! | -把牛奶挤到碗里吗 -两位 |
| [12:48] | The cow’s gone! | 奶牛不见了 |
| [12:49] | – What?! – It’s gone! | -什么 -奶牛不见了 |
| [12:52] | Look, I know you guys are questioning my decision here, | 我知道你们在质疑我的决定 |
| [12:54] | but this is something I had to do. | 但我必须这么做啊 |
| [12:56] | I got to reclaim this victory. | 我得夺回属于自己的胜利 |
| [12:58] | And that’s why I got to go twice-baked potato on their ass. | 所以我要给他们二次烘焙土豆了 |
| [13:01] | That’s a weird analogy; let me explain. | 这类比很奇怪 我给你们解释 |
| [13:03] | You bake a potato once, it’s delicious. | 你把土豆烘焙一次 土豆很美味 |
| [13:05] | You bake that same baked potato again, | 你把烘焙过的土豆再烘焙一次 |
| [13:08] | and-and the flavors pop even more. | 土豆就更加香气四溢了 |
| [13:10] | It’s crisper. | 而且更爽脆 |
| [13:11] | It’s just, like, an unforgettable potato experience. | 这会让人有种非凡难忘的吃土豆经历 |
| [13:14] | But I… hey, hey, hey. | 但我…我说你 |
| [13:15] | Leave Trevor alone. | 不要招惹特雷弗 |
| [13:16] | Anyway, you know, that’s all I’m doing here. | 总之 我就是想这样 |
| [13:18] | Baking this cow situation again. | 二次利用奶牛事件 |
| [13:20] | You know, I bring the cow back home, again, | 就是我再把奶牛带回家 |
| [13:23] | and I’m a hero, again. | 我又成为英雄了 |
| [13:25] | You hang in there, girl. | 你等一会儿 乖乖 |
| [13:26] | Just got to milk this a little bit longer. | 我还要好好让他们着急一下 |
| [13:28] | Boom, I still got it. | 不过一切尽在我掌控之中 |
| [13:33] | She’s not back here. | 牛奶没回来 |
| [13:35] | Hey, there, gang. I was just in town | 大家好啊 我刚去城里 |
| [13:37] | getting this cute straw hat for the cow. | 给奶牛带回了一顶可爱的草帽 |
| [13:38] | I can’t wait to put it on her furry little head. | 真等不及要给她戴上了 |
| [13:40] | The cow’s gone. | 奶牛不见了 |
| [13:42] | Hardy har har, Carol. | 一点也不好笑 卡萝尔 |
| [13:43] | But seriously, where is that cute girl? | 不过说真的 牛去哪里了 |
| [13:45] | She ran away. | 她跑了 |
| [13:46] | Okay, okay. This is, uh… | 好吧 这… |
| [13:49] | Okay, uh… | 好… |
| [13:53] | – What?! – I don’t know what happened. | -怎么会这样 -我不知道怎么回事 |
| [13:54] | I mean, we went down there in the middle of the night, right? | 我们半夜不是去看过奶牛吗 |
| [13:56] | And sh-she was all tied up securely and everything. | 当时她还好好拴在那里 |
| [13:59] | We woke up this morning, she was just gone. | 可今早一醒来 牛就不见了 |
| [14:01] | I thought you said you tied a good clove hitch. | 你不是说你卷结打得很好吗 |
| [14:02] | I did! I mean, I… I-I thought I did. | 是打好了啊 我…我以为打好了 |
| [14:05] | I’m sorry, guys. | 对不起 各位 |
| [14:06] | Uh, this is all my fault. | 一切都怪我 |
| [14:08] | I feel like I really let us down here. | 我让大家失望了 |
| [14:10] | Well, this sucks! | 太操蛋了 |
| [14:11] | I can’t go back to cereal and water. | 我不想再水冲麦片吃了 |
| [14:13] | I need cheese. | 我想吃奶酪 |
| [14:15] | Guys, look at me and listen to me. | 各位 看着我 听我说 |
| [14:17] | I know we’re all frustrated, but hear this, okay? | 我知道大家都不高兴 但要知道 |
| [14:20] | We have to fight the very natural temptation | 我们必须抵制住诱惑 |
| [14:23] | to assign blame right now. | 不要去怪谁 |
| [14:24] | Blaming Todd is not gonna be productive. | 即使怪陶德也于事无补 |
| [14:26] | No one’s blaming Todd. | 没人怪陶德 |
| [14:28] | That’s the spirit, Meliss, okay? | 就是如此 梅丽莎 |
| [14:30] | And I want us to all keep not blaming Todd. | 大家一定不要继续怪陶德 |
| [14:33] | He’s suffering enough right now. | 他现在已经够难受了 |
| [14:35] | Because mathematically, 100% of the blame lies at his feet. | 因为毫无疑问 这事百分之百是他的错 |
| [14:39] | Hundred percent. | 百分之百无疑 |
| [14:40] | This is not your fault. | 这事不怪你 |
| [14:41] | And yet, at the same time, it is. | 虽然真的怪他 |
| [14:43] | But, hey, no worries. | 但是你不要担心 |
| [14:45] | – I got this. – What? | -交给我 -什么 |
| [14:47] | I’m gonna go find that cow, okay? | 我会把奶牛找到 |
| [14:49] | So you guys just hang here and relax, okay? | 你们在这里不要紧张 知道吗 |
| [14:50] | Ah, Phil, l-let me help in some way, please. | 菲尔 让我来帮你吧 |
| [14:52] | Hey, hey, I got this. | 不用 交给我就行 |
| [14:54] | I found it the first time, I can find it again. | 我既然能找到她一次 就能找到她第二次 |
| [14:57] | Trust me. | 相信我 |
| [14:58] | You know exactly where that cow is, don’t you, Phil? | 你知道奶牛在哪里 对吗 菲尔 |
| [15:01] | What? I do not. | 什么 我不知道 |
| [15:04] | You’re lying. | 你在说谎 |
| [15:05] | Where were you this morning? | 你今早去哪里了 |
| [15:06] | Where was I this morning?! | 我今早去哪里了 |
| [15:07] | I was getting this hat for the cow this morning at a hat store. | 当然是去帽子店给奶牛弄这顶帽子了啊 |
| [15:10] | And that is why I’m holding it. | 所以我手上才拿着帽子 |
| [15:12] | Carol, help me out here. | 卡萝尔 快来帮我说话啊 |
| [15:14] | Don’t look at me, Phil. | 别看我 菲尔 |
| [15:15] | If we lived together, you’d have an alibi. | 如果我们住一起 你就会有不在场证据了 |
| [15:19] | I had nothing to do with this. | 我跟此事真的一点关系没有 |
| [15:22] | Then why don’t we all go search? | 那我们一起去找找吧 |
| [15:24] | Let’s all search? | 我们一起找 |
| [15:27] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [15:28] | Yeah, okay. | 好啊 |
| [15:29] | Yeah, let’s all search. | 我们一起去找 |
| [15:31] | So, we’ll each take a quadrant. | 我们分四块寻找 |
| [15:33] | Okay, as president, I get first choice. | 好 作为总统我第一个选 |
| [15:36] | No, I’ll take the first choice. | 不 我要第一个选 |
| [15:37] | – But, Melissa… – Where was that bar you showed me? | -但是梅丽莎 -你带我去的那家烧烤酒吧在哪 |
| [15:41] | Phil? Where’s the bar? | 菲尔 烧烤酒吧在哪里 |
| [15:43] | Uh… the bar. Oh, geez, uh, yeah. | 烧烤酒吧啊 天 想起来了 |
| [15:46] | It’s right, uh, right there. | 就在 这里 |
| [15:47] | – I want that one. – Oh, okay. | -我去那里找 -好 |
| [15:49] | Yeah, Phil, I’ll take this guy right here. | 菲尔 我去这里找 |
| [15:52] | Give Phil a big open section, | 让菲尔去块大点的地方找吧 |
| [15:54] | because he loves his space. | 因为他最喜欢私人空间了 |
| [15:56] | Did you guys hear? He won’t live with his wife. | 你们知道吧 他不想跟自己妻子住一起 |
| [15:59] | – Yeah, we’ve heard. – Yeah. | -嗯 我们知道 -嗯 |
| [16:00] | Okay, so, uh, I guess I will take this quadrant. | 好 那我就去这里找吧 |
| [16:02] | Unless anybody else, uh, wants to switch, Melissa? | 有谁 想跟我换吗 梅丽莎你想换吗 |
| [16:05] | A-Anybody? Uh… | 有人吗… |
| [16:07] | No? | 没人吗 |
| [16:08] | Would you like mine? | 你想跟我换吗 |
| [16:09] | Like, I’ll trade with… | 我可以跟你… |
| [16:10] | – No, we’ll stay with our quadrants. – Okay. | -不了 我们还是找自己的吧 -好 |
| [16:12] | Okay, so it is about 10:00 a.m. | 现在是上午十点钟 |
| [16:15] | Wherever that cow is, she’s probably hunkered down for the night. | 不管奶牛在哪里 她可能趴下准备睡觉了 |
| [16:17] | So best we just sit tight for now and, uh, you know, | 所以我们先休息休息 |
| [16:21] | hit it hard first thing in the morning? | 明天一大早再去找如何 |
| [16:22] | If you don’t mind, I’m gonna start my search right now. | 你不介意的话我就先去找了 |
| [16:24] | Uh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. | 好啊 你尽管去吧 |
| [16:55] | Oh, the cow’s gone. | 奶牛不见了 |
| [16:58] | Thank God. Thank God. | 谢天谢地 谢天谢地 |
| [17:03] | Where’s the frigging cow? | 我操 奶牛去哪里了 |
| [17:07] | Gary! | 加里 |
| [17:12] | Come on, where are you, you old piece of crap? | 你去哪里了 大傻冒 |
| [17:14] | How the heck did you get out of that bar? | 你怎么出那个酒吧的 |
| [17:22] | Frigging Todd. | 该死的陶德 |
| [17:25] | You found the cow! | 你找到奶牛了啊 |
| [17:27] | Yeah, she was just right down the street | 是啊 她就在街那头 |
| [17:29] | in somebody’s front yard. | 不知谁家的院子里 |
| [17:30] | Good for you, good for you. | 不错 真不错 |
| [17:32] | – Yeah, girls are gonna be real happy you found it. – Yeah. | -姑娘们肯定会高兴死的 -是啊 |
| [17:36] | See you back at the… yeah. | 那我们回见… |
| [17:40] | Hey, Phil. | 等等 菲尔 |
| [17:44] | If you don’t mind, | 你不介意的话 |
| [17:45] | I’m gonna tell the girls you found the cow. | 我要跟她们说是你找到了奶牛 |
| [17:48] | What? | 什么 |
| [17:49] | I feel bad about the way Melissa came down on you, | 我觉得梅丽莎不该那样怀疑你 |
| [17:51] | and I think it’s the right thing to do. | 我觉得应该说是你找到的 |
| [17:57] | Why would you want to do something like that for me? | 你为什么愿意为我说谎 |
| [18:01] | You really don’t know, do you? | 你真的不知道吗 |
| [18:03] | Know what? | 知道什么 |
| [18:05] | Phil… | 菲尔 |
| [18:07] | you’ve done so much for me. | 你为我做了太多 |
| [18:09] | I mean, if it wasn’t for those “Alive in Tucson” billboards, | 如果不是你到处写”图森有活人” |
| [18:12] | I wouldn’t even be here right now. | 我就不会找到这里了 |
| [18:14] | But because I am, I’m with the woman of my dreams. | 正因为我来了 我才有机会跟梦中情人在一起 |
| [18:18] | I’ve got two great friends in you and Carol. | 我还交到你和卡萝尔这两位好友 |
| [18:21] | I’ve got a cow that’s gonna make me milkshakes. | 我还有一头奶牛可以挤奶做奶昔 |
| [18:23] | I’m just so happy right now. | 我现在太开心了 |
| [18:27] | That’s all because of you, man. | 这一切都多亏了你 兄弟 |
| [18:32] | Thanks, Todd. I mean… | 谢谢 陶德 我… |
| [18:35] | I don’t think I could possibly take credit for finding that… | 不过我好像不该说奶牛是… |
| [18:38] | I found the cow! | 我找到啦 |
| [18:39] | Yes! | 棒 |
| [18:49] | So good. | 太美味了 |
| [18:52] | Oh, I’ve heard those sounds before. Wink, wink. | 你们这声音我似曾相识呢 羞羞 |
| [19:02] | Hey, sorry about flipping out earlier, Phil. | 抱歉之前我错怪了你 菲尔 |
| [19:05] | Good job finding the cow. | 你找到奶牛真是太棒了 |
| [19:08] | Guess I just got lucky. | 我走运而已 |
| [19:15] | That is good. | 太好吃了 |
| [19:17] | Wait, I thought you were lactose intolerant. | 你不是有乳糖不耐症吗 |
| [19:21] | It’s my cheat day. | 今天先不管那么多了 |
| [19:35] | – You guys hear that? – Yeah. | -你们听到了吗 -嗯 |
| [19:37] | Damn it. | 怎么回事 |
| [19:38] | Carol? | 卡萝尔 |
| [19:41] | Oh, my God! | 我的天哪 |
| [19:43] | This is priceless. | 真是没想到啊 |
| [19:45] | So classic. | 叹为观止 |
| [19:46] | And remember, Todd said these things don’t go down stairs. | 还记得陶德说牛不会下楼吗 |
| [19:48] | So this thing’s in here forever. | 所以她要一直待在这里了 |
| [19:51] | Burn. | 活该 |
| [19:52] | I think the burn’s more on you, Phil. | 好像是你活该 菲尔 |
| [19:54] | What? How so? | 什么 怎么会 |
| [19:55] | I’m not bunking down with a cow. | 我才不要跟奶牛一起睡 |
| [19:58] | Big news, everyone. | 重大消息 各位 |
| [19:59] | I’m finally moving in with my husband. | 我终于要搬去跟我老公一起住了 |
| [20:02] | – Burn. – No, but-but… | -活该 -不 但是… |
| [20:04] | And just think, this could have all been avoided | 你想想 如果你把我家的门修好 |
| [20:06] | if you’d fixed my gol-dang door. | 这一切就可以避免了 |
| [20:19] | Isn’t this great? | 是不是很棒啊 |
| [20:22] | The best. | 棒呆了 |
| [20:25] | So what exactly happened again with the cow? | 话说那头奶牛到底是怎么回事啊 |
| [20:28] | It was a double clove hitch knot. | 拴的时候明明打了两个卷结 |
| [20:30] | I don’t know. It’s one of those freak happenings, you know? | 谁知道呢 世事难料啊是不是 |
| [20:35] | Here, I’ll tell you exactly how it went down. | 我来告诉你到底是怎么回事 |
| [20:39] | I couldn’t sleep. | 我睡不着觉 |
| [20:41] | So I went downstairs, and I got myself a snack. | 所以就下楼找零食吃 |
| [20:44] | And then I went to the living room, | 然后我去客厅 |
| [20:46] | and I reread a Twilight. | 重新看了遍《暮光之城》 |
| [20:49] | Then I did some knitting. | 然后又织了毛衣 |
| [20:52] | Then I got drowsy, so I walked back upstairs, | 然后我困了 于是就回了楼上 |
| [20:55] | and I got into bed, and then I fell asleep. | 我上了床 然后就睡着了 |
| [20:58] | And I woke up, and there was a cow in my face. | 然后又醒了 奶牛就在我面前了 |
| [21:03] | And that’s exactly what happened. | 就是这么回事 |
| [21:06] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [21:08] | Hey, it all worked out for the best, right? | 这样对谁都好 对吧 |
| [21:10] | Yep. | 是啊 |
| [21:13] | – Good night, Mr. President. – Good night. | -晚安 总统先生 -晚安 |