| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:19] | If I’m so bad, then why do you want to live with me? | 如果我这么糟 你干嘛非要和我住一起 |
| [00:21] | Because I’m your wife! | 因为我是你的妻子 |
| [00:22] | I wish I could have a do-over. | 真希望能从头再来 |
| [00:25] | Oh, my God! | 我的天 |
| [00:26] | You’re all alone out here? | 你自己一个人住这里吗 |
| [00:28] | Yes. | 是啊 |
| [00:29] | Yes. | 是啊 |
| [00:30] | – Phil? – Wait. You know Phil? | -菲尔 -什么 你也认识菲尔吗 |
| [00:31] | Phil’s my husband. | 菲尔是我丈夫 |
| [00:33] | Surprise! | 惊喜吧 |
| [00:36] | You guys don’t understand. | 你们不懂 |
| [00:37] | This was gonna be an awesome joke. | 这本该是个绝妙的玩笑的 |
| [00:40] | I just can’t believe you didn’t tell us there were other people. | 简直不敢相信你竟然不告诉我们还有别的活人 |
| [00:43] | Yeah, that’s, like, the one thing | 是啊 这世上 |
| [00:44] | that’s important in this world. | 只有这事最重要了 |
| [00:45] | Yeah, and all for what, just so you can get laid? | 你这么做就是为了能睡我们吗 |
| [00:48] | No. Because I had this awesome idea for a prank. | 不 是我想出了一个绝妙的整蛊点子 |
| [00:51] | And I had it perfectly lined up. | 我都安排好了 |
| [00:53] | I mean, I had you guys thinking that I was going out camping, | 我让你们觉得我出去野营了 |
| [00:55] | and I had you guys thinking these guys didn’t exist. | 又让你们觉得世上没有别的活人了 |
| [00:58] | That’s called the perfect storm. | 绝对会有意想不到的效果 |
| [01:00] | So, there we are, about to go skinny-dipping… | 所以我们正准备去裸泳… |
| [01:02] | You were gonna go skinny-dipping?! | 你竟然要去裸泳 |
| [01:04] | as if I would ever do that. | 那是绝不可能的 |
| [01:06] | I-I am married to you, Carol. | 我可是和你结婚了呢 卡萝尔 |
| [01:08] | You told us Carol was dead. | 你分明告诉我们卡萝尔死了啊 |
| [01:10] | – What?! – What?! Oh, my God! | -什么 -什么 我的天哪 |
| [01:12] | No, a-a different Carol. | 不 不是这个卡萝尔 |
| [01:14] | Carol, I was, uh, married to this other woman named Carol | 卡萝尔 病毒爆发之前我还和另一个叫做 |
| [01:17] | before the virus. | 卡萝尔的女人结了婚 |
| [01:18] | You told me you were single. | 你分明告诉我说你之前是单身啊 |
| [01:20] | Yeah, I was– before I got married to that, uh, Carol. | 是 在我和那个卡萝尔结婚前 我是单身 |
| [01:24] | And, uh, she died in that, uh, tragic… | 然后她死在那场悲剧的… |
| [01:27] | snowmobiling accident. | 雪地摩托事故中了 |
| [01:29] | Sorry. I miss you. | 抱歉 我好想你 |
| [01:30] | You’re disgusting. | 你真恶心 |
| [01:32] | Disgustingly good at pranks! | 是非常擅长恶作剧吧 |
| [01:34] | God, you know, before I go on, can I just say, | 老天 在我继续说下去前 我能说 |
| [01:36] | this is really disrespectful to Carol. | 你们这样对卡萝尔太不尊重了吗 |
| [01:38] | The other Carol. The late Carol. | 那个卡萝尔 在天上那个卡萝尔 |
| [01:40] | Uh, but, you know, back to this prank. | 但是 说回这个恶作剧 |
| [01:42] | So, you know, god, it was gonna be such a great one, | 老天 这本来会是一个绝妙的恶作剧的 |
| [01:45] | a-and then you guys all just ruined it. | 结果被你们生生毁了 |
| [01:47] | I feel so bad for you– | 真替你们可惜 |
| [01:48] | you missed out on this wonderful thing. | 你们错过了一件这么美好的事 |
| [01:50] | I mean, see, I was gonna… | 我本来准备 |
| [01:51] | I was gonna, uh… | 我本来准备 |
| [01:56] | What… What was gonna happen was, | 我本来准备的是 |
| [01:58] | when we got out to those hot springs, | 等我们到了温泉之后 |
| [02:00] | I was gonna say, “Hey, wait… I need my bathing suit.” | 我就会说 等等 我泳衣没拿 |
| [02:03] | Then I was gonna lead you back to our cul-de-sac, | 然后我就会把你们带回我们那儿 |
| [02:06] | introduce you to all these people | 把他们介绍给你们 |
| [02:07] | who mean the most to me in the world. | 他们是这世上对我最重要的人 |
| [02:09] | ‘Cause you do– have I ever told you guys that? | 这是真的 我有告诉过你们吗 |
| [02:12] | I wish I told you more. Yeah. | 希望我说过 真的 |
| [02:14] | Phil… Stop talking. | 菲尔 别说了 |
| [02:16] | No! No, wait! | 不 不 等等 |
| [02:17] | Because it feels to me | 因为我感觉 |
| [02:19] | like you guys still think this wasn’t a prank. | 你们还是不相信这是个恶作剧 |
| [02:22] | And that’s… | 这… |
| [02:23] | That’s not acceptable. | 这简直不能忍 |
| [02:24] | That’s where I draw the line. | 这绝对不可以 |
| [02:26] | Still think he’s a good guy? | 还觉得他是个好人吗 |
| [02:29] | Todd, come on, bud. | 陶德 别这样啊 兄弟 |
| [02:30] | There’s got to be some explanation here! | 我可以解释的 |
| [02:32] | I-I mean, there is an explanation. | 我可以解释的 |
| [02:34] | The… You know, that, uh, prank thing. | 你知道 那个 恶作剧 |
| [02:36] | Way to go, Phil. | 够了 菲尔 |
| [02:38] | He actually really liked you. | 他真的很喜欢你的 |
| [02:39] | I don’t know why, but he did. | 我不知道为什么 但这是真的 |
| [02:41] | You guys can follow us to the cul-de-sac– that’s where we live. | 你们可以跟我们回去 我们住在那里 |
| [02:44] | Because we exist! | 因为我们是活生生的人 |
| [02:46] | I… | 我 |
| [02:53] | It was a prank. | 真的是个恶作剧 |
| [02:55] | Carol… | 卡萝尔 |
| [02:56] | Wait… | 等等 |
| [02:58] | What, you’re just gonna leave me here? | 怎么 你们要把我丢在这里吗 |
| [02:59] | Wha…? | 什… |
| [03:03] | What…? | 搞什么 |
| [03:53] | This is amazing. | 太不可思议了 |
| [03:55] | I can’t believe you guys have a cow! | 简直不敢相信你们还有一头奶牛 |
| [03:58] | And Gail’s a chef, so this is, like… | 盖尔是名厨师 所以这简直 |
| [03:59] | Oh, hon, the things I can make with this. | 亲爱的 我可以做出好多好吃的 |
| [04:02] | My mind is literally spinning. | 我脑子里面已经想了无数种了 |
| [04:04] | Creme brulee, | 焦糖布丁 |
| [04:06] | dulce de leche… | 牛奶太妃 |
| [04:07] | Good morning. | 早上好 |
| [04:13] | I just came here to get some, uh… Java… | 我只是过来拿点 咖啡 |
| [04:16] | Little milk. | 一点牛奶 |
| [04:22] | These guys give you the tour? Huh? | 他们带你们逛了吗 |
| [04:24] | Show you around? | 带你们到处看看 |
| [04:30] | I’ll take that as a yes or no. | 我就当你们回答咯 |
| [04:37] | Hey… Anybody seen Carol anywhere? | 话说 有人看到卡萝尔了吗 |
| [04:45] | How long am I gonna be in the doghouse here? | 你们还要这样无视我多久 |
| [04:47] | It was a prank. | 那不过就是个恶作剧 |
| [04:50] | Okay. I get it. | 行 我懂了 |
| [04:52] | You’re giving me the silent treatment. | 你们在和我冷战 |
| [04:54] | Very mature. | 真成熟 |
| [04:55] | Well, guess what? | 你们知道吗 |
| [04:56] | I can silent treatment with the best of ’em, huh? | 我最擅长冷战了 |
| [04:58] | You want to do this? Let’s go. | 你们要玩 那就放马过来 |
| [05:32] | Boom! Silent treatment! | 哈哈 冷战 |
| [05:35] | It was a prank. | 就是个恶作剧 |
| [05:43] | Carol? | 卡萝尔 |
| [05:46] | Carol? | 卡萝尔 |
| [05:51] | – Carol. – What? | -卡萝尔 -怎么了 |
| [05:54] | Oh, there you are. | 你在啊 |
| [05:55] | Hey, I really need to talk to you. | 我真的得跟你谈谈 |
| [05:57] | Fine. | 好啊 |
| [05:58] | Let’s talk. | 我们谈谈吧 |
| [06:06] | I’m not quite… understanding what you’re… | 我不太明白 你这是… |
| [06:08] | what you’re doing there. | 你这是在做什么 |
| [06:09] | Isn’t that how ghosts talk? | 鬼不就是这样谈话的吗 |
| [06:11] | Carol… | 卡萝尔 |
| [06:11] | Well, I’m dead, right? | 我死了 不是吗 |
| [06:13] | Isn’t that what you told them? | 你不就是这样和她们说的吗 |
| [06:14] | Can I please explain? | 你能让我解释下吗 |
| [06:16] | I think it’s pretty cut-and-dry, Phil. | 我觉得没什么好谈的了 菲尔 |
| [06:18] | You told me you were going camping, | 你跟我说你去野营去了 |
| [06:20] | and then you went out skinny-dipping with two hussies. | 然后你和两个臭女人裸泳去了 |
| [06:22] | But I didn’t do anything! | 但我什么都没做啊 |
| [06:24] | Bologna on rye, Phil! | 你都箭在弦上了 菲尔 |
| [06:26] | No! Truth meat on honesty bread! | 没有 我说的都是实话 |
| [06:29] | You are nothing but a sewer rat, you dumb donkey. | 你真是只过街老鼠 你这蠢货 |
| [06:33] | Just cattin’ around like the cock of the walk. | 就知道装腔作势 到处寻花问柳 |
| [06:36] | Well, guess what, you skunk? | 结果怎么着 你这个小人 |
| [06:38] | You just sprayed the wrong dog. | 你惹错人了 |
| [06:41] | Now, get out. | 快滚吧 |
| [06:42] | Carol, this is my house. | 卡萝尔 这是我家 |
| [06:44] | Skunks don’t live in houses. | 房子不是给你这种小人住的 |
| [06:47] | And this one’s haunted, anyways. | 而且这房子闹鬼 |
| [06:55] | Get out! | 快滚 |
| [07:17] | Thanks for letting me stay here, guys. | 谢谢你们让我待在这里 伙计们 |
| [07:19] | It’s nice to feel welcome somewhere. | 还有人欢迎我真是太好了 |
| [07:22] | And don’t worry, I won’t be here long. | 别担心 我不会待太久的 |
| [07:24] | This is temporary. | 我就是暂住一下 |
| [07:25] | They’re gonna come looking for me. | 他们会来找我的 |
| [07:27] | You know, this’ll be good. | 一切都会好转的 |
| [07:28] | You know, this is a nice change of pace. | 这不过是生活节奏的一点小改变罢了 |
| [07:30] | I could use a break from people. | 我也可以好好享受这段时光 |
| [07:32] | Yeah, with all their, “Oh, Phil, do this, | 终于可以不用忍受他们总是指使我 |
| [07:34] | Do that, you’re a jerk… .” | 完了还骂我 |
| [07:37] | Oh, no, this is good, this is nice. | 不不 这样就很好 这样就很棒 |
| [07:40] | Solitude, loneliness, friends. | 独居 安静 朋友 |
| [07:42] | And this pool table makes a fine bed. Yeah. | 这个台球桌当床挺合适的 没错 |
| [07:45] | You know, it’s firm, no give– which is great for the back. | 很稳定 没弹性 对背好 |
| [07:48] | Oh, yeah. | 好啊 |
| [07:50] | Beds are overrated. | 床也没那么好 |
| [07:54] | Don’t miss beds. | 不要怀念床 |
| [07:57] | Knock, knock… | 咚咚 |
| [07:58] | – Carol? – Knock, knock. | -卡萝尔 -咚咚 |
| [08:00] | Did you hear us knocking? | 你听到我们敲门了吗 |
| [08:02] | Well, we just wanted to drop by with this pecan pie | 我们就是顺便过来给你送这个胡桃派 |
| [08:05] | and say we hope that there’s no hard feelings. | 希望你不会太难过 |
| [08:09] | Why would there be any hard feelings? | 我怎么会难过 |
| [08:12] | All you did was make a series of quick, slut-based decisions | 你们不过是瞬间做了一个非常荡妇的决定而已 |
| [08:15] | about sharing your body with a man you hardly knew. | 你们决定献身给一个几乎不了解的男人 |
| [08:19] | Carol, you know we would never have done that stuff | 卡萝尔 你知道的 如果我们早知道 |
| [08:22] | if we’d known Phil was married. | 菲尔结婚了 我们绝不会这么做的 |
| [08:23] | Of course. | 当然 |
| [08:25] | I don’t hold it against you. | 我不是针对你 |
| [08:27] | You had no idea. | 你完全不了解 |
| [08:28] | And you’re not even from here. | 你们都不是这里的人 |
| [08:30] | In this country, we tend to do a bit of research | 在我们国家 在跟人约炮前 |
| [08:32] | before inviting a man into the land down under. | 通常我们会先做一点调查 |
| [08:36] | Carol, I can see that you’re hurting really badly, | 卡萝尔 我知道你现在很受伤 |
| [08:40] | and I’m hoping that we just… move past all this. | 我希望我们能跨过这道坎 |
| [08:43] | But in the meantime, | 但同时 |
| [08:44] | we’re just gonna leave this pie right here. | 我们就把这个派留在这里了 |
| [08:46] | Oh, I can’t eat that pie. | 我不能吃那个派 |
| [08:49] | Uh, are you… are you allergic to pecans? | 你 你是对胡桃过敏吗 |
| [08:51] | No. | 不是 |
| [08:52] | I just don’t enjoy hussy pie. | 我不喜欢吃荡妇做的派 |
| [08:55] | You understand. | 你懂的 |
| [08:57] | I don’t, but we’ll be taking off now. | 我不懂 那我们就走了 |
| [09:00] | Yeah. | 好的 |
| [09:02] | Okay, Gary, what’s your poison? | 加里 你想喝什么 |
| [09:04] | Tequila sunrise, huh? Okay. | 龙舌兰日出吗 好的 |
| [09:06] | That’s a fun choice. | 这选择有意思 |
| [09:10] | Oh. Let me try that again. | 我再试试 |
| [09:12] | Just grab another bottle, like so. | 再拿一瓶 像这样 |
| [09:13] | Try that. | 试试 |
| [09:15] | Cruise makes it look so easy, you know? | 克鲁斯做得挺顺手的 你知道吗 |
| [09:21] | Ow, that hurt. That really hurt. | 好疼 真疼 |
| [09:24] | They must have CGI’d those bottles, right? | 电视上那些肯定是后期特效吧 |
| [09:30] | Yeah, I’m gonna have all these tricks down | 我一定要在他们来之前 |
| [09:31] | by the time they come looking for me. | 学会怎么调酒耍酷 |
| [09:33] | It’s gonna be a fun surprise for them. | 他们肯定会大吃一惊的 |
| [09:34] | Okay, here we go. Okay. | 好的 再来一遍 |
| [09:38] | I got it! | 我成功了 |
| [09:42] | Hey, Carol. | 卡萝尔 |
| [09:43] | Can we come in? | 我们能进来吗 |
| [09:44] | Oh, absolutely. | 当然了 |
| [09:45] | Come in. Have a seat, you. | 进来吧 随便坐 |
| [09:47] | Hey, I brought you some tea. | 我给你带了点茶来 |
| [09:48] | Careful, it’s really hot, okay? | 小心点 很烫的 |
| [09:52] | So, we heard you talked with… Gail and Erica. | 我们听说你跟盖尔和艾瑞卡聊了聊 |
| [09:55] | We just wanted to come over, | 我们就想过来看看 |
| [09:57] | and see if you’re doing okay. | 看看你还好吗 |
| [10:00] | I’m fine. | 我很好 |
| [10:00] | Why wouldn’t I be? | 我怎么会不好呢 |
| [10:02] | Everything’s fine. | 一切都很好 |
| [10:03] | Carol, that’s… | 卡萝尔 那很 |
| [10:05] | Sorry, I tried to warn you… | 抱歉 我想提醒你来着 |
| [10:07] | About… | 那个… |
| [10:10] | That’s all right, Todd. | 没关系 陶德 |
| [10:12] | It’s okay. | 没关系 |
| [10:13] | Everything’s fine. | 一切都很好 |
| [10:14] | So… | 所以 |
| [10:21] | Okay… | 好吧 |
| [10:23] | I see what you’re doing over there. | 我知道你们在干什么 |
| [10:25] | What-what are we doing? | 我们在干什么 |
| [10:27] | Sitting so far apart from each other. | 你们俩坐得那么远 |
| [10:29] | Oh, we’re not… No. | 我们不是… 没有 |
| [10:30] | I’m a strong woman, okay? | 我很坚强 |
| [10:32] | I can handle seeing two people being affectionate. | 看别人秀恩爱我受得了 |
| [10:37] | Please, | 来吧 |
| [10:37] | kiss each other. | 你们接吻吧 |
| [10:39] | For me. I can take it. | 为了我 我受得了 |
| [10:41] | We’re just kind of hanging out right now, | 我们就来随便坐坐 |
| [10:42] | – you know what I mean? – Carol, this is uncomfortable. | -懂我的意思吧 -卡萝尔 这样好尴尬 |
| [10:44] | You know what’s uncomfortable | 你们知道什么更尴尬吗 |
| [10:46] | is this pity party you’re throwing me. | 就是你们来组团可怜我 |
| [10:48] | Okay? | 知道吗 |
| [10:49] | Go ahead, kiss. Come on. | 快接吻吧 快点 |
| [10:52] | Kiss. For me, please. | 为了我 接吻吧 |
| [10:54] | Oh, come on, you can do better than that. | 拜托 你们接吻这么没感情吗 |
| [10:57] | Get into it! | 投入感情 |
| [10:58] | Come on, kiss like you used to! | 就跟以前一样接吻吧 |
| [11:01] | Oh, that was so fake! | 真是太假了 |
| [11:03] | Kiss! Come on! | 接吻啊 快啊 |
| [11:07] | Okay, that’s enough, Todd. | 够了 陶德 |
| [11:07] | – Yes, copy that. – This is… | -明白 -这… |
| [11:09] | – I just… Whoo! – This is weird. | -我… -好尴尬 |
| [11:10] | Very. | 是啊 |
| [11:11] | Carol, what is going on with you? | 卡萝尔 你到底怎么了 |
| [11:13] | It’s called being just fine, Melissa. | 我这叫没问题 梅丽莎 |
| [11:14] | Maybe you should try it some time. | 找个时间你也可以试试 |
| [11:16] | – Carol… – Now, if you don’t mind, | -卡萝尔 -如果你们不介意 |
| [11:17] | I’d like to be alone. Thank you. | 我想一个人待着 谢谢 |
| [11:20] | Yeah, okay. | 好的 |
| [11:22] | Okay, well, just let us know if you need anything. | 有什么需要尽管找我们 |
| [11:28] | They’re not coming. | 他们不来 |
| [11:31] | Oh, they don’t care where I am | 他们根本不在乎我在哪里 |
| [11:35] | ’cause they don’t like me. | 因为他们不喜欢我 |
| [11:37] | Which is really sad ’cause I want to go back! | 真是太伤心了 我好想回去啊 |
| [11:41] | I don’t want to live at this stupid bar… | 我不想住在这个傻逼酒吧里 |
| [11:44] | A pool table for a bed. | 不想拿台球桌当床 |
| [11:48] | I was wrong. | 我错了 |
| [11:51] | Beds are underrated. | 还是真床好啊 |
| [11:54] | And people are underrated. God. | 还是周围有人好啊 天哪 |
| [11:57] | Oh, but they don’t like me. | 但是他们不喜欢我 |
| [11:58] | They’re not gonna talk to me. | 他们不会跟我说话了 |
| [12:02] | Oh, I get it, I blew it. | 我懂 都怪我 |
| [12:04] | I really beefed it. | 我真的搞砸了 |
| [12:07] | I asked for a do-over | 我请求重新来过 |
| [12:09] | and instead I got a do-do-over. | 结果却得重新重新来过 |
| [12:11] | Boom, I still got it. | 原来还是如此 |
| [12:15] | I’m persona non grata. | 他们都不喜欢我 |
| [12:18] | Iced out. | 孤立我 |
| [12:20] | No one wants to have anything to do with old Phil Miller. | 没人想跟可怜的菲尔·米勒扯上关系 |
| [12:26] | But I mean, I am who I am. | 但我就是这样啊 |
| [12:30] | I can’t just magically change into another person. | 我无法突然就改变啊 |
| [12:45] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [12:46] | The name’s Mike Miller. | 我叫麦克·米勒 |
| [12:47] | I’m looking for my twin brother, Phil. | 我找我的双胞胎兄弟菲尔 |
| [12:49] | Oh, my God, people. | 天哪 好多人 |
| [12:50] | It’s been so long. Oh, God! | 好久没见到人了 天哪 |
| [12:54] | Damn it. | 该死 |
| [12:56] | How did that not work? | 怎么不管用呢 |
| [13:01] | That’s looking good. | 好像不错 |
| [13:04] | Good shot. | 打得不错 |
| [13:06] | I just can’t believe he put on a costume. | 真不敢相信他竟然假扮别人 |
| [13:09] | That’s what you can’t believe? | 你就不相信这个吗 |
| [13:10] | I can’t believe he thought we would believe | 我还不信他竟然会以为我们会相信 |
| [13:12] | he was his own brother. | 他是自己的双胞胎兄弟呢 |
| [13:13] | What did Carol say? | 卡萝尔怎么说 |
| [13:15] | Oh, she just slammed the door right in his face. | 她看到是菲尔直接关门了 |
| [13:17] | Good for her, poor thing. | 干得漂亮 可怜人啊 |
| [13:19] | I mean, that man is a little tossed in the head. | 那个人是不是脑子有病啊 |
| [13:21] | – Yeah, a little. – Yeah. | -是有点 -是啊 |
| [13:23] | He’s also a pathological liar. | 他还是个病态的大骗子 |
| [13:25] | Oh, what a wanker. | 真是卑鄙 |
| [13:26] | We really dodged a bullet with that guy. | 没跟他在一起真是躲过一劫 |
| [13:28] | Oh, good-bye and good riddance, Phil Cormaneau. | 再见了 你滚蛋吧 菲尔·考曼纽 |
| [13:32] | Cormaneau? | 考曼纽 |
| [13:33] | His last name’s Miller. | 他姓米勒啊 |
| [13:35] | He lied about that, too? Why? | 自己的姓他都撒谎吗 为什么 |
| [13:38] | Why not? What a liar. | 这有什么 他就是个骗子 |
| [13:39] | – I can’t believe he just lied. – What a liar. | -真不敢相信他撒谎骗我们 -大骗子 |
| [13:41] | Take is easy. | 别激动 |
| [13:42] | Okay, I’m just so disappointed… | 好 我只是失望… |
| [13:45] | I do not feel great right now. | 我现在感觉很不好 |
| [13:49] | They don’t miss me at all. | 他们一点都不想我 |
| [13:52] | Why are they so mad? | 他们为什么那么生气 |
| [13:54] | Why won’t they give me the benefit of the doubt? | 他们为什么不对我做无罪推定呢 |
| [13:56] | They think I’m just some liar. | 他们认为我就是个骗子 |
| [13:59] | I am not a liar. | 我才不是 |
| [14:01] | I mean, what have I ever done that would make them think that? | 我做了什么他们竟然那样想我 |
| [14:06] | It was a prank. I found the cow! | 是个恶作剧 我找到奶牛了 |
| [14:08] | I got the rings. | 我准备好戒指了 |
| [14:09] | I’m a pretty major tennis guy. | 我很擅长打网球 |
| [14:11] | – Are you attracted to Melissa? – No. | -你喜欢梅丽莎吗 -不喜欢 |
| [14:13] | Are you lactose intolerant? | 你患有患有乳糖不耐症吗 |
| [14:14] | Yes. I can fix a friggin’ door. Committed to this marriage. | 对 我可以修好这扇破门 对婚姻忠诚 |
| [14:16] | I’ve been very busy, Carol. | 我忙着呢 卡萝尔 |
| [14:18] | – You’re all alone out here? – Yes. | -这里没有别人了吗 -没有了 |
| [14:19] | Must’ve been a raccoon. | 一定是浣熊干的 |
| [14:20] | I used to have a VW bug. | 我以前也有辆大众甲壳虫 |
| [14:21] | I have diarrhea… Big shankhead here… | 我拉肚子了 死忠粉在此 |
| [14:23] | Cormaneau… I’m a nice person… | 考曼纽 我是个好人 |
| [14:24] | The name’s Mike Miller… Balls are clean… | 我叫麦克·米勒 蛋蛋干净了 |
| [14:27] | I am a liar. | 我真的是个骗子 |
| [14:35] | Oh, look who it is, everybody. | 看看谁来了 各位 |
| [14:37] | Mike Miller. | 麦克·米勒 |
| [14:38] | Or is it Mike Cormaneau? | 还是麦克·考曼纽 |
| [14:41] | Can I talk to you guys? | 我能跟你们谈谈吗 |
| [14:42] | No. | 不能 |
| [14:43] | I’m not leaving until I say my piece. | 不说完我是不会走的 |
| [14:45] | Fine, stay here. We’ll just ignore you. | 行 你留下 我们忽视你就好 |
| [14:47] | You know what, anybody want a refill? | 有人需要续杯吗 |
| [14:49] | I do. | 我要 |
| [14:50] | – Great. Don’t mind me. – Thank you very much. | -好 不用管我 -非常感谢 |
| [14:52] | I’ll just be here, uh, doing this… | 我自己在这里 这样就行 |
| [15:01] | I’ll just keep screaming until you talk to me. | 你们不跟我说话我就一直喊 |
| [15:08] | Phil. | 菲尔 |
| [15:09] | Can’t you get it through your little perm? | 你就不明白吗 |
| [15:11] | We don’t want to talk to you. | 我们不想跟你说话 |
| [15:13] | No, Melissa, let’s just over with which to get this. | 别这样 梅丽莎 我们把这件事了结了吧 |
| [15:19] | Are you guys ready for a bombshell? | 你们准备好听重磅消息了吗 |
| [15:23] | When I was gonna go skinny- dipping with Gail and Erica… | 我要去跟盖尔和艾瑞卡裸泳时 |
| [15:26] | That wasn’t a prank. | 不是恶作剧 |
| [15:29] | That was a very real effort to swim naked with women. | 我真的想脱光了和女人一起游泳 |
| [15:35] | Moving on. Melissa. | 还有 梅丽莎 |
| [15:38] | I did not want to have sex with you | 我想跟你上床 |
| [15:40] | solely for the purpose of repopulation. | 不只是为了繁衍人类 |
| [15:43] | I wanted to have sex with you | 我想跟你上床 |
| [15:45] | because you’re a friggin’ smokeshow. | 是因为你真的很惹火 |
| [15:49] | Todd… | 陶德 |
| [15:51] | I did not co-write “Fields of Gold.” | 《金色原野》不是我跟别人合作的 |
| [15:54] | The only person who wrote that song was Sting. | 那首歌的作者就只有斯廷一个人 |
| [15:59] | And finally, Carol. | 最后 卡萝尔 |
| [16:03] | I can’t even begin to count the ways | 我都不知道我有多少事 |
| [16:05] | that I’ve been dishonest with you. | 欺骗了你 |
| [16:08] | But let me start with this. | 但首先我想说的是 |
| [16:11] | We should have never gotten married. | 我们开始不该结婚 |
| [16:14] | When I said “I do,” | 我说我愿意时 |
| [16:16] | it was a lie, | 那是说谎 |
| [16:18] | ’cause I didn’t. | 因为我不愿意 |
| [16:23] | And I know I’ve hurt you… | 我知道我伤害了你 |
| [16:25] | And I’m really, really sorry. | 我真的真的很抱歉 |
| [16:30] | Look, I don’t expect this to change the way | 我不期望这样可以 |
| [16:32] | that any of you guys feel about me, | 改变你们对我的看法 |
| [16:35] | but I’d rather be an honest person with no friends | 但我宁愿做一个没有朋友的诚实的人 |
| [16:39] | than live one more day as a liar, so… | 也不想再做个骗子了 所以 |
| [16:44] | Smell ya never. | 再也不见 |
| [16:49] | Excuse me. | 失陪一下 |
| [16:58] | I knew he didn’t write “Fields of Gold.” | 我知道《金色原野》不是他写的 |
| [17:20] | So I, you know, I said my piece and, uh… | 我…我想说的都说了 |
| [17:25] | Did not get a lot of traction there, | 虽然大家都不爱搭理我 |
| [17:26] | but, uh, I feel good. | 但我感觉很好 |
| [17:28] | I-I feel… I did the right thing. | 我感觉…我做了正确的事 |
| [17:31] | I mean, it’s-it’s what I had to do. | 我必须那么做 |
| [17:34] | Phil? | 菲尔 |
| [17:37] | Phil, are you talking to balls with faces drawn on them? | 菲尔 你是在跟画了人脸的球说话吗 |
| [17:41] | Y-yes. | 嗯 |
| [17:43] | I am. | 是的 |
| [17:45] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:47] | Well, I guess they can hear this, too. | 那他们也可以听我说的 |
| [17:51] | I have a few things to say. | 我有几件事想跟你说 |
| [17:53] | If you have any questions, comments or applause, | 如果你有问题 评论 或者想鼓掌 |
| [17:55] | just save it until I’m done. | 等我说完再动 |
| [17:58] | I don’t think applause will apply, | 我觉得应该用不着鼓掌 |
| [17:59] | but just hold it till the end. | 但是不管什么你都等我说完 |
| [18:02] | Okay. | 好 |
| [18:03] | Phil, what did I just ask? | 菲尔 我刚怎么跟你说的 |
| [18:05] | – Sorry. – Phil! | -抱歉 -菲尔 |
| [18:16] | Phil, what do you think about this quilt? | 菲尔 你觉得这床被子怎么样 |
| [18:23] | ‘Cause you know what I think? | 你知道我怎么认为吗 |
| [18:25] | I think it’s u-g-l-y, | 我觉得真的丑-哭-了 |
| [18:27] | this quilt ain’t got no alibi. | 证据就摆在我们面前 |
| [18:29] | It’s ugly. | 真的很丑 |
| [18:32] | It’s ugly. | 丑哭 |
| [18:34] | Do you see where I’m going with this? | 你知道我拿这个做什么吗 |
| [18:37] | You can talk. | 你可以说话 |
| [18:39] | Respectfully, I-I have no clue. | 恕我直言 我不知道 |
| [18:43] | Phil, sometimes, in quilting, | 菲尔 有时缝被子 |
| [18:46] | you just don’t have the right scraps. | 布片就是找不对 |
| [18:48] | And no matter how much effort you put in, | 所以不管你多努力 |
| [18:51] | you make a quilt that looks like this. | 最后做出的被子都会这么丑 |
| [18:54] | I will agree that it’s ugly. | 我同意这被子确实丑 |
| [18:55] | And you worked so hard on it | 你那么努力 |
| [18:58] | and you trick yourself into thinking it’s beautiful | 还骗自己说被子很好看 |
| [19:02] | and you display it proudly in the entryway on you divan. | 然后把它骄傲地放在自己家的沙发床上 |
| [19:07] | And then your friend Barbara comes over a few days later, | 几天后你朋友芭芭拉来了 |
| [19:10] | and she tells you that she thinks it’s best | 她说自己觉得你还是 |
| [19:12] | if you fold it up and put it in the closet. | 把被子收起来比较好 |
| [19:14] | You see what I’m saying now? | 你明白我的意思吗 |
| [19:17] | Barbara’s a pretty mean person and tells it like it is and… | 芭芭拉为人刻薄 不该说实话… |
| [19:22] | Right? Yes? | 是吧 对吧 |
| [19:25] | I think it’s time we put this quilt in the closet. | 我觉得我们该把这床被子收起来 |
| [19:33] | So, here. | 给你 |
| [19:41] | Divorce papers? | 离婚协议书 |
| [19:42] | They’re official, I’m a notary. | 是正式的 我是公证人 |
| [19:45] | Are you sure about this? | 你确定要这样吗 |
| [19:47] | Yeah, Phil. | 嗯 菲尔 |
| [19:49] | You’re better off without me. I’m better off without you. | 我不在时你更好 你不在时我也更好 |
| [19:53] | I just want you to be happy. | 我只想让你幸福 |
| [19:56] | Well, I just want you to be happy. | 我也想让你幸福 |
| [20:01] | Then sign. | 那就签字吧 |
| [20:09] | There. | 那边 |
| [20:10] | And there. | 还有那里 |
| [20:13] | And… Ooh, social security, right there. | 还有社保 在这边 |
| [20:16] | This is fun to notarize again. | 再次当公正员好棒 |
| [20:18] | Oh, man, once you break the seal… | 天哪 一旦你打破封条… |
| [20:22] | It’s a notary joke. | 这是公正领域的笑话 |
| [20:24] | I wish Glen were here. | 要是格伦在就好了 |
| [20:24] | He would’ve gotten a kick out of that one. | 他肯定要把那条删掉的 |
| [20:30] | It’s official. | 正式离婚了 |
| [20:32] | It’s official. | 正式离婚了 |
| [20:35] | Friends? | 做朋友 |
| [20:37] | Friends. | 做朋友 |
| [20:39] | Ah, get in here. | 来抱抱 |
| [21:03] | Well, see you back at the cul-de-sac. | 那我们围城见 |
| [21:06] | Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. | 好好 好好好 |
| [21:15] | So, that’s my ex-wife. | 刚才那是我前妻 |