| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:19] | Carol… chose… me! | 卡萝尔 选了 我 |
| [00:22] | You need to be punished! | 你需要接受惩罚 |
| [00:24] | No. | 不 |
| [00:24] | I’m leaving Malibu. | 我要离开马里布 |
| [00:25] | Carol, | 卡萝尔 |
| [00:27] | will you come with me? | 你愿意跟我一起走吗 |
| [00:28] | I’m pregnant, Phil. | 我怀孕了 菲尔 |
| [00:31] | What? | 什么 |
| [00:34] | – What did she say? – Not now. | -她说什么 -别说话 |
| [00:38] | I’m sorry, I didn’t hear, and Tandy won’t… | 抱歉 我没听清 坦迪又不… |
| [00:39] | – She said she’s pregnant. – I’m pregnant. | -她说她怀孕了 -我怀孕了 |
| [00:44] | Congratulations. | 恭喜你 |
| [00:49] | Eri-Erica! | 艾瑞 艾瑞卡 |
| [00:50] | I think you’ve said enough for one day. | 你今天已经说得够多了 |
| [00:56] | Phil, I’m gonna have to pass on your offer | 菲尔 我还是决定 |
| [00:59] | to run away with you. So… | 不和你私奔了 所以… |
| [01:03] | My God. | 天呐 |
| [01:06] | That did not go well for you. | 你可真倒霉哦 |
| [01:08] | You really blew it. | 你真的搞砸了 |
| [01:09] | Talk about a face-plant, huh? | 脸疼不疼 |
| [01:11] | – Okay, that’s enough. – Try to take my woman. | -别说了 -竟然妄想我的女人 |
| [01:13] | Facial! | 打脸啪啪啪 |
| [01:15] | – Facial express. – Tandy. Tandy. Stop it. | -噢 脸好疼 -坦迪 坦迪够了 |
| [01:17] | – Burn. – Be the bigger man about this. | -哈哈 -成熟点 |
| [01:18] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [01:19] | It’ll be fine. I promise. | 会好起来的 我保证 |
| [01:22] | Erica, | 艾瑞卡 |
| [01:24] | I’m sorry about what I said to Carol. | 很抱歉我对卡萝尔说了那些话 |
| [01:26] | If I had known about your situation, I would have… | 我要是知道你是这个情况的话… |
| [01:28] | never said that. | 我绝不会说那些话的 |
| [01:29] | So we’re calling this a situation? | 所以这对你而言只是个情况而已咯 |
| [01:31] | No, no, no. Bad-bad choice of words. I just… | 不不不 是我说错话了 我只是… |
| [01:34] | Look, we’re in this weird place right now. | 听着 我们现在处境非常尴尬 |
| [01:36] | Weird place? | 处境尴尬 |
| [01:37] | Phil, I’m having a frigging baby. | 菲尔 我肚子里有个孩子 |
| [01:40] | I think you’d better leave now. | 我看你最好还是先出去吧 |
| [01:41] | Gail, please, this is between me and Erica. | 盖尔 这是我和艾瑞卡的事 |
| [01:44] | There is nothing between you and Erica anymore. | 你和艾瑞卡之间什么也没有了 |
| [01:46] | You made that perfectly clear | 你说得可清楚了 |
| [01:48] | when you confessed your love to Carol not five minutes ago. | 你五分钟之前不还在对卡萝尔表白吗 |
| [01:51] | I’m the father of her child. | 我是她孩子的父亲 |
| [01:53] | – Not anymore. – What? | -不再是了 -你说什么 |
| [01:55] | Oh, it’ll have a father. Just not you. | 孩子会有父亲的 只是不是你而已 |
| [01:58] | The whole group is gonna be the father. | 我们大家都会是这个孩子的父亲 |
| [02:02] | Are we done here? | 说清楚了吗 |
| [02:03] | I’m not going anywhere until I hear this from her. | 她不亲口跟我说我是不会走的 |
| [02:09] | Okay. I think I heard her say, “We’re done.” | 我听到她说 我们结束了 |
| [02:12] | – You have a nice day, you hear? – Erica… | -祝你一切顺利 -艾瑞卡 |
| [02:14] | Can you believe that guy? | 你敢信吗 |
| [02:16] | He beats me up, he tries to steal my wife | 他打了我一顿 让艾瑞卡怀孕了 |
| [02:18] | while he’s got a bun in Erica’s oven. | 竟然还试图抢走我老婆 |
| [02:20] | What a friggin’ dong. | 真是个混蛋 |
| [02:22] | Well, that’s the dong | 正是这个混蛋 |
| [02:23] | that’s gonna get you back into this community. | 让你重新融入了这个集体 |
| [02:26] | You should be kissing that dong. | 你应该好好感谢这个混蛋 |
| [02:27] | Why should I be kissing that dong? | 我为什么要感谢那个混蛋 |
| [02:29] | I should be friggin’ punching that dong. | 我该狠狠揍那个混蛋一拳 |
| [02:31] | Have you ever seen those dogs with no back legs | 你见过那些没有后腿的狗吗 |
| [02:33] | so they give ’em the little wheels to scoot around on? | 人们会给它们安上小轮子以便它们四处走动 |
| [02:36] | It’s the cutest thing ever, right? | 那真是再可爱不过了 对吧 |
| [02:39] | I’m not really seeing the connection here. | 这有什么联系吗 |
| [02:41] | People love wounded animals, | 人们喜欢受伤的动物 |
| [02:44] | and that’s you now. | 你现在就是这个处境 |
| [02:45] | Your face is like those crippled little puppy legs, | 你的脸就像是那些瘸腿小狗的腿 |
| [02:48] | and you just got to roll around on the sidewalk for a while | 你只需要在人行道上到处走走 |
| [02:52] | to make everybody feel sorry for you. | 就可以让大家都同情你 |
| [02:54] | Sorry, Carol, no, okay? If I want people to trust me, | 抱歉 卡萝尔 我不干 我要是想让人相信我 |
| [02:57] | I got to do this the right way, okay? | 我会堂堂正正的 好吗 |
| [02:59] | And I’m not gonna play the sympathy card. | 我绝不打同情牌 |
| [03:08] | Good God. | 老天 |
| [03:09] | Somebody have, like, an aspirin or a pain reducer | 有人有阿司匹林或者止痛剂什么的吗 |
| [03:12] | or, like, a-a time machine? | 有时光机也行啊 |
| [03:15] | As if. | 有就好了 |
| [03:22] | It comes in waves. | 这痛感真是一阵阵的 |
| [03:25] | Unfortunately, it’s high tide right now, but… | 现在正是疼得厉害的时候 但是… |
| [03:28] | I’m fine though. I’m fine. | 我没事的 我没事 |
| [03:29] | Can we just change the subject? | 我们能换个话题吗 |
| [03:30] | Look at him, not wanting to talk about himself again. | 看呐 他不愿意谈自己了 |
| [03:33] | Have you guys noticed that? | 你们有注意到吗 |
| [03:35] | That eye does look pretty grim. | 你的眼睛看起来很不好 |
| [03:38] | Thanks, Melissa. | 谢谢你 梅丽莎 |
| [03:42] | So, Erica, have you thought of any baby names yet? | 艾瑞卡 你有想好给宝宝取什么名字吗 |
| [03:46] | No. | 没呢 |
| [03:47] | Well, if you could just steer clear of the name Yorbalinda, | 你要是不起尤巴林达这个名字的话 |
| [03:49] | I’d appreciate it. | 我会很高兴的 |
| [03:51] | Not a problem. | 没问题 |
| [03:52] | And also Beziqueel. | 还有巴兹奎尔 |
| [03:55] | Won’t be an issue. | 绝对没问题 |
| [03:56] | You know, I always hoped Yorbalinda would be the first baby | 我一直期望这个新世界诞生的第一个孩子 |
| [03:59] | of this new world. | 会是尤巴林达 |
| [04:00] | But Tandy and I won’t be far behind, and… | 但坦迪和我不会落后很多的 |
| [04:04] | and, if I’m being honest, | 如果我说实话的话 |
| [04:05] | getting to watch you have a baby first | 能看着你生下第一个孩子 |
| [04:07] | will really calm my nerves. | 真的会让我淡定许多 |
| [04:09] | What a luxury for you. | 真好啊 |
| [04:13] | Erica, can I, uh, talk to you for a second? | 艾瑞卡 我能和你聊聊吗 |
| [04:16] | Anything you have to say to her, | 不管你要对她说什么 |
| [04:18] | you can say to the whole group. | 你都可以对大家伙说 |
| [04:20] | Fine. I made something for you. | 好吧 我给你做了个东西 |
| [04:22] | It’s in the pool house. I’d love to… | 在游泳池边的小屋里 我很想… |
| [04:25] | love to show it to you. | 很想给你看看 |
| [04:27] | Yeah, she won’t be doing that. | 她不去 |
| [04:29] | So get along. | 滚吧 |
| [04:38] | What a turd. | 真是个混球 |
| [04:40] | I think he’s almost worse than Tandy. | 他几乎和坦迪一样混蛋了 |
| [04:43] | Seriously, Gail? | 不会吧 盖尔 |
| [04:45] | Almost worse than me? | 几乎和我一样 |
| [04:47] | Thank you. | 谢谢你哦 |
| [05:02] | Look at this guy. | 看看他啊 |
| [05:04] | Friggin’ dip. | 让你想走 |
| [05:06] | How does it feel to be yesterday’s news, huh? | 成为昨天头条新闻的感觉如何啊 |
| [05:09] | And I’m the hot topic. | 我才是全球热闻 |
| [05:11] | “This just in, Phil’s worse than Tandy. | 插播一条新闻 菲尔比坦迪更坏 |
| [05:14] | Now over to the weather.” | 现在继续播报天气 |
| [05:15] | “Grey skies for that dong. | 那混蛋头顶乌云罩顶啊 |
| [05:17] | Clear skies in Tandyville. Back to you, Bob.” | 而坦迪村天气大好 该你了 鲍勃 |
| [05:20] | “Thanks, Tabitha. In local news, | 谢谢 塔比瑟 本地新闻 |
| [05:23] | no one cares what’s in your friggin’ house, you jagweed.” | 没人在乎你家里有啥 自私鬼 |
| [05:27] | What’s in your house, you friggin’ jagweed? | 你家里到底有什么啊 自私鬼 |
| [05:42] | What are you doing in there, you friggin’ idiot, huh? | 你在这里干什么 蠢货 |
| [05:45] | You practicing your weak punches, | 练习你那不堪一击的拳法 |
| [05:47] | pledging your love to other people’s wives? | 还是在对别人的老婆示爱 |
| [05:50] | Sitting sadly amongst a bunch of baby furnite | 悲伤的坐在一堆你给自己未出生的孩子 |
| [05:53] | you made for your unborn child? | 做的儿童家具中间吗 |
| [05:56] | No. I don’t feel bad for you, | 不 我一点也不同情你 |
| [05:59] | you friggin’ sad, sad man. | 你这个可悲的人 |
| [06:03] | Who needs someone right now. | 你现在需要安慰了吧 |
| [06:05] | Oh, God. | 老天 |
| [06:09] | Jerk. | 混蛋 |
| [06:14] | Okay, so, this is for you, Erica. | 这是给你的 艾瑞卡 |
| [06:20] | Thanks, Carol. | 谢谢你 卡萝尔 |
| [06:21] | I originally made it for Yorbalinda, | 这本来是做给尤巴林达的 |
| [06:23] | but since your baby’s coming first, | 但你的孩子会先出世 |
| [06:25] | I want you to have it. | 所以我想送给你 |
| [06:26] | Is this how big a newborn’s head is? | 新生儿的头就这么点小吗 |
| [06:29] | Well, a baby’s head’s not flat like that. | 小孩子的头没这么扁 |
| [06:32] | It’s big like a bowling ball that’s been waterlogged | 就像是经历洪灾后被晒干的 |
| [06:35] | after baking in the sun. | 保龄球那么大 |
| [06:37] | Crazy we can push something like that out of us, huh? | 我们能生出这么大的东西真是很不可思议吧 |
| [06:40] | Aw, man, we’re pretty amazing creatures, you and I. | 我们真是令人惊叹的生物啊 我们俩 |
| [06:44] | And you, too, Gail, if you got on board. | 盖尔 你也是 如果你愿意的话 |
| [06:47] | Drop it, Carol. | 得了吧 卡萝尔 |
| [06:48] | Hey, ladies, up here, coming down the stairs. | 女士们 我要从楼梯上下来了 |
| [06:50] | Let me know if there’s anything in my way. | 要是有人挡了路告诉我一下哦 |
| [06:52] | 100% vision over here, | 这边我完全能看见 |
| [06:54] | but this side is real touch-and-go. | 这边我就只能摸索着走了 |
| [06:55] | Well, is your eye still smartin’? | 你的眼睛还疼得厉害吗 |
| [06:57] | Let me take a look at it. | 让我看看 |
| [07:00] | Oh, it looks like it’s getting better. | 看起来好多了呢 |
| [07:02] | You think so? | 真的吗 |
| [07:03] | Yeah, let me check that out. | 让我看看 |
| [07:14] | That’s weird. | 真奇怪 |
| [07:15] | It looks about the same to me. | 我觉得没什么变化啊 |
| [07:16] | – Maybe even worse. – Oh, yeah. | -甚至还更糟了 -是的 |
| [07:19] | Must’ve been the lighting. | 肯定是灯光的原因 |
| [07:20] | Like I said, uh, comes in waves. | 我就说嘛 一阵一阵的 |
| [07:22] | Hold on, Tandy. | 等等 坦迪 |
| [07:25] | Got a little ol’ garter snake in our midst. | 这个老奸诈鬼又来了 |
| [07:28] | Well-well, I already know the answer, | 虽然我早就知道答案 |
| [07:30] | but I thought I’d ask anyways. | 但我还是想问问 |
| [07:31] | I’m making a supply run. | 我准备去补给点东西 |
| [07:34] | Anybody need anything? | 你们大家有什么想要的吗 |
| [07:38] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [07:42] | What a tool. | 真是个混蛋 |
| [07:43] | I mean, if he really wanted to make amends, | 他如果真的想做出补偿的话 |
| [07:45] | he’d go get in the stocks over there. | 他就该去枷锁那边 |
| [07:47] | Yeah, it’s do the crime, do the time. | 犯了罪就要受罚 |
| [07:49] | Not do the crime, offer to get everybody supplies. | 而不是犯了罪却来问大家有什么需要的 |
| [07:52] | Tool. | 混蛋 |
| [07:53] | Which is a shame, because I’m jonesing | 说来羞愧 因为我真的 |
| [07:55] | for some tortilla chips in the worst way. | 很想吃炸玉米片 |
| [07:58] | Yeah, I’m jonesing for some stool softener in that same way. | 而我也很想要大便软化剂 |
| [08:01] | Uh, you know, for, uh, a friend, you know? | 我是给一个朋友的 |
| [08:04] | Okay. Todd, he’s got some hard stool. | 是陶德 他最近便秘 |
| [08:06] | And, uh, I guess I got to go pick that up | 我看我还是自己去 |
| [08:08] | for him, uh, myself. | 给他弄点那个吧 |
| [08:10] | Okay, well, if you’re gonna go to the store, | 如果你要去商店的话 |
| [08:12] | would you mind picking me up some tortilla chips? | 你能给我带点炸玉米片吗 |
| [08:14] | Seriously, Gail?! | 真的吗 盖尔 |
| [08:15] | You-you would, you would trust me | 你 你愿意相信我 |
| [08:17] | to get you tortilla chips? | 给你带炸玉米片吗 |
| [08:20] | It’s just tortilla chips. | 只是炸玉米片而已啦 |
| [08:22] | Hey, Gail? | 盖尔 |
| [08:24] | I’ll get you those chips. | 我一定会给你弄到炸玉米片的 |
| [08:25] | I mean, it-it’s no problem at all. | 你就放心吧 |
| [08:27] | Seriously, it-it would be an honor. | 说真的 我很荣幸 |
| [08:30] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [08:34] | 亲民小店 药店 食品杂货店 | |
| [08:38] | Don’t see any chips. | 没看见薯片什么的啊 |
| [08:40] | Maybe this aisle. | 说不定这边有呢 |
| [08:42] | Gail actually asked me to get her tortilla chips, Todd. | 盖尔真的让我给她带炸玉米片诶 陶德 |
| [08:46] | Me! I didn’t even have to offer. | 是我啊 都不用我提出来 |
| [08:47] | – She just asked! – That’s great, Tandy. | -她主动说的 -太棒了 坦迪 |
| [08:49] | I’m finally getting some traction here. | 总算有点回报了 |
| [08:52] | Thank God for Phil beefing it like that, huh? | 得感谢菲尔做出这种蠢事 对吧 |
| [08:55] | Although, I got to admit, I feel kind of bad for him. | 不过我得承认 我有点同情他 |
| [08:57] | Hey, if we hadn’t have pulled him off of you, | 要是我们当时没及时把他拉开 |
| [08:58] | he might’ve killed you, Tandy. | 他可能会杀了你的 坦迪 |
| [08:59] | Yeah, I guess so. | 是啊 我也觉得 |
| [09:01] | Oh, here’s the chip section right here. | 薯片区在这里 |
| [09:02] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [09:05] | I didn’t really give myself enough clearance. | 我没留够空间 |
| [09:06] | Okay, I guess I’ll use the sunroof here. | 看来我只能从天窗出了 |
| [09:08] | Well, do you want to come out this side? | 你想从这边出来吗 |
| [09:10] | No, I want to sunroof it! | 不 我想从天窗出 |
| [09:11] | Sunroof it. | 那就从天窗出吧 |
| [09:12] | All right. You got it? | 好吧 你出去了吗 |
| [09:14] | Already out. | 出来了 |
| [09:20] | That’s a lot of chips. | 这薯片可真多啊 |
| [09:20] | Did she say which kind she wanted? | 她有说她想要哪种吗 |
| [09:22] | Do you think it matters? | 你觉得这个重要吗 |
| [09:23] | Well– What am I saying? | 我这说的什么话啊 |
| [09:24] | Of course it matters. | 当然重要了 |
| [09:26] | Should we go back and ask her? | 我们要回去问问她吗 |
| [09:27] | Uh, yeah, Todd, uh, let’s do that. | 好啊 陶德 我们回去问她 |
| [09:29] | “Uh, duh, hey, excuse me, Gail. | 不好意思啊 盖尔 |
| [09:31] | Uh, what kind of chips do you want?” | 你想吃什么样的薯片 |
| [09:33] | Oh, that’d be a great way to start. | 这样去说真好啊是不是 |
| [09:34] | – All right. – Come on, Todd. | -行了 -拜托 陶德 |
| [09:35] | I don’t know. What about these? | 我也不知道啊 这个怎么样 |
| [09:37] | Scoops, Todd, really?! | 半勺薯片吗 陶德 |
| [09:39] | She’s not four years old. | 她又不是四岁小孩子 |
| [09:41] | Come on, think! | 拜托动动脑子好吗 |
| [09:42] | Oh, God! You know what? | 天啊 算了 |
| [09:44] | I’ll just get them all. | 我干脆都带回去吧 |
| [09:45] | Except for Scoops, Todd. | 除了半勺薯片 陶德 |
| [10:00] | Oh, sorry, bud, for throwing such a tizzy, | 伙计 抱歉我刚才乱丢了一气 |
| [10:02] | but, you know, the stakes are really high here | 因为这件事不做好后果太严重了 |
| [10:04] | and I’m just not myself. | 所以我有点失控 |
| [10:05] | Uh, it-it’s okay. Don’t mention it. | 没事 不用道歉 |
| [10:07] | I’ve been in a bit of a funk myself, you know? | 我自己最近也脾气不好 |
| [10:09] | Hey, bud, spill the bean dip. | 伙计 跟我说说吧 |
| [10:12] | Chips aisle, boom. | 反正我们都在这儿了 |
| [10:13] | Melissa stuff, you know? | 梅丽莎的事呗 |
| [10:15] | Everything’s been super weird | 自从培根事件之后 |
| [10:16] | since the whole bacon debacle. | 一切都超级奇怪 |
| [10:17] | She keeps saying she doesn’t want to have a baby. | 她一直说自己不想要孩子 |
| [10:19] | And blah, blah, blah. | 这之类的吧 |
| [10:20] | Well, hang in there, ’cause I know for a fact | 慢着 我明确知道 |
| [10:23] | that she’s into having babies, okay? | 她想要孩子的 知道吗 |
| [10:25] | So just relax, | 你不要紧张 |
| [10:26] | and this whole thing will blow over. | 这件事会过去的 |
| [10:29] | How do you know that? | 你怎么知道 |
| [10:32] | How do I know that? Yeah, I guess I don’t. | 我怎么知道 其实我不知道 |
| [10:34] | Uh, sorry I did– you know, | 抱歉我… |
| [10:35] | I thought you were talking about something else. | 我还以为你在说别的呢 |
| [10:37] | Tandy. Tandy! | 坦迪 坦迪 |
| [10:39] | Tandy? | 坦迪 |
| [10:40] | Be honest with me, man. | 跟我说实话 伙计 |
| [10:44] | Todd… honestly? | 陶德 要实话吗 |
| [10:47] | Tandy… be honest. | 坦迪 说实话 |
| [10:55] | Pull! | 发射 |
| [11:00] | You have anything you want to tell me? | 你有什么事想跟我说吗 |
| [11:03] | – No. – Nothing? | -没有 -没有吗 |
| [11:05] | I got a surfboard today. | 今天我弄到了一块冲浪板 |
| [11:07] | But nothing about you and Tandy going to a park | 你不要说一下你跟坦迪一起去公园 |
| [11:09] | to try to get his sperm to fertilize your egg? | 想用他的精子让你的卵子受精的事吗 |
| [11:12] | I mean, you told me it was just about having sex. | 你说你们只是想做爱 |
| [11:14] | Todd, you have to understand the circumstances. | 陶德 你得理解当时的情况 |
| [11:17] | I feel like I’m gonna be sick out of both ends. | 不管是怎样我都觉得好恶心 |
| [11:20] | I mean, you can have a baby with a guy that you’ve known | 你能跟一个你认识三天的人 |
| [11:23] | for, like, three days, | 生孩子 |
| [11:23] | but you can’t have a baby with the man you love? | 就不能跟你爱的人生吗 |
| [11:26] | Look, I came to my senses. I changed my mind. | 我后来想明白了 所以改主意了 |
| [11:28] | You don’t just change your mind about having a baby. | 生孩子这种事怎么能改主意呢 |
| [11:31] | I did. | 我就改了 |
| [11:33] | Well, don’t you think you should have told me about that? | 你不认为这种事你该告诉我吗 |
| [11:36] | I mean, it’s a pretty big thing to hide. | 这可是一件大事 |
| [11:37] | So is living a double life in a frickin’ bacon house. | 在堆满培根的屋子过双重生活也是大事 |
| [11:40] | I hid bacon from you! | 我藏的是培根 |
| [11:43] | Bacon! | 培根啊 |
| [11:45] | What you did is much worse! | 可你做的事更恶劣 |
| [11:47] | I guess we can’t trust each other. | 看来我们无法信任彼此了 |
| [11:49] | I guess not. | 是吧 |
| [11:52] | Don’t shoot! | 不要开枪 |
| [11:54] | Sorry. I thought you were… | 抱歉 我以为你要… |
| [11:57] | Never mind. | 算了 |
| [12:02] | Thought these would never get here. | 我还以为东西永远拿不回来了 |
| [12:04] | Well, you thought wrong ’cause they did get here, huh? | 你错了 我这不是都给你拿来了 |
| [12:06] | So what do you want? Uh, nacho cheese, Mission style, | 你想吃什么 奶酪玉米片 使命公司薯片 |
| [12:09] | unsalted, extra salt? | 不加盐的 还是多加盐的 |
| [12:11] | Do you have any Scoops? | 有半勺薯片吗 |
| [12:15] | Scoops, huh? | 半勺薯片 |
| [12:16] | You like Scoops? | 你喜欢半勺薯片吗 |
| [12:18] | They’re my favorite. | 我最喜欢了 |
| [12:22] | I don’t have any Scoops. | 这里没有半勺薯片 |
| [12:24] | Okay, well, these’ll work. | 好吧 那就吃这个吧 |
| [12:26] | Okay, well, next time, you’re gonna get Scoops, okay? | 下次我一定给你找半勺薯片来 好吗 |
| [12:28] | Yup. Gonna go take my wine for a walk. Thanks, Tandy. | 好 我去跟我的红酒去散步了 谢谢你坦迪 |
| [12:31] | You’re welcome, Gail. I should be thanking you. | 不用谢 盖尔 我应该谢谢你 |
| [12:35] | God. | 天啊 |
| [12:35] | Just remember– the Tandy man can and will. | 只要记住 坦迪无事不成 |
| [12:49] | Do not feel sad for this turd. | 不要同情这个混蛋 |
| [13:04] | Need a hand? | 需要帮忙吗 |
| [13:08] | Get away from me. | 走开 |
| [13:10] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:12] | But, look, Phil, can I offer you a little advice? | 但是 菲尔 我能给你点小建议吗 |
| [13:16] | I know you don’t want to hear it from me, but, look, | 我知道你不想听我说 但是 |
| [13:20] | I really think you should get in those stocks. | 我真的认为你应该去戴枷锁 |
| [13:24] | You’d love that, wouldn’t you? | 你就想这样 对吧 |
| [13:27] | Yeah. | 肯定 |
| [13:28] | Seeing me in those stocks, huh? | 你想看我戴上枷锁 对吧 |
| [13:31] | No, I wouldn’t love it. | 不 我不想这样 |
| [13:32] | I’m-I’m trying to help you here. | 我这是想帮你 |
| [13:35] | Well, I don’t like you, okay? | 我不喜欢你 知道吗 |
| [13:38] | And I don’t trust you. | 我也不信任你 |
| [13:41] | You are gonna regret this if you don’t do it. | 如果你不去 你会后悔的 |
| [13:45] | You know what my biggest regret is, | 你知道我最后悔的事是什么吗 |
| [13:48] | Tandy? Huh? | 坦迪 |
| [13:50] | It’s not breaking up with Erica, | 不是跟艾瑞卡分手 |
| [13:53] | or-or… or confessing my love | 或者跟卡萝尔表白 |
| [13:57] | to Carol. No. | 都不是 |
| [14:00] | My biggest regret | 我最后悔的是 |
| [14:02] | is that I saved you… from the billboard. | 我从那块广告牌上救了你 |
| [14:07] | Every day, I wish I had left you up there | 每一天我都后悔当初没把你留在那里 |
| [14:11] | to die. | 让你等死 |
| [14:13] | – You don’t mean that. – Yes, I do! | -不是这样的 -就是这样的 |
| [14:15] | You know why? Huh. | 你知道为什么吗 |
| [14:18] | Because everybody’s life got worse | 因为所有人从遇见你的那一天开始 |
| [14:21] | the day they met you. | 生活都越来越糟糕 |
| [14:37] | I mean this whole Phil situation is just like | 菲尔这件事就跟那部电影 |
| [14:39] | that movie When a Man Loves a Woman. Okay, show of hands. | 《当男人爱上女人》里一样对吧 举个手 |
| [14:42] | Who’s seen it? | 谁看过 |
| [14:44] | Anyone besides Peter? | 除了彼得还有别人吗 |
| [14:46] | Oh, man, you guys got to see it! | 天啊 你们一定得看看 |
| [14:48] | Oh, it’s really good. | 那部电影真的很好看 |
| [14:49] | Meg Ryan’s got this terrible drinking problem, | 梅格·瑞恩有严重酗酒问题 |
| [14:51] | and she won’t accept help from anyone. | 而且不接受任何人的帮助 |
| [14:53] | But then, Andy Garcia comes in, and he’s all, | 但是安迪·加西亚出来说 |
| [14:55] | “Whoo-ah! No, I got to help you with that. | 不 我一定要帮你 |
| [14:58] | “I-I don’t want you to have a drinking problem. | 我不想让你酗酒 |
| [15:00] | I’m gonna help ya. I’m gonna help ya.” | 我要帮你 我一定要帮你 |
| [15:02] | And then, a bunch more words happen. | 然后就发生了更多事 |
| [15:03] | And then finally, Andy Garcia has this huge orgasm sound, | 最后 安迪·加西亚发出了很大的高潮声 |
| [15:07] | and then Rob Reiner’s mom says, like, | 然后罗伯·莱纳的妈妈说 |
| [15:10] | “I’ll have what he’s having!” | 我要跟他一样 |
| [15:12] | Referring to Meg, I guess. | 她应该是指梅格吧 |
| [15:14] | ‘Cause Meg was having something delicious | 因为安迪·加西亚在发出那种声音时 |
| [15:16] | next to Andy Garcia as he’s making the sound. | 梅格正在吃什么好吃的 |
| [15:19] | The bottom line– | 总之… |
| [15:21] | Phil is Meg Ryan, | 菲尔就是梅格·瑞恩 |
| [15:24] | and I got to be his Andy Garcia. | 我要做他的安迪·加西亚 |
| [15:27] | Hey, Erica, here’s some more baby stuff for you. | 艾瑞卡 我又给你拿了些婴儿用的东西 |
| [15:30] | All of it says | 这上面都是 |
| [15:31] | something about being the first child of the new world, so, | 关于新世界里第一个孩子的话 所以 |
| [15:34] | technically, they’re your property. | 严格来说 都是你的 |
| [15:36] | – Thanks, Carol. – Hey, you know, | -谢谢 卡萝尔 -你知道吗 |
| [15:39] | just out of curiosity, | 我就是好奇 |
| [15:40] | how long were you and Phil trying before you got pregnant? | 你怀孕前你和菲尔努力了多久 |
| [15:44] | Oh, we weren’t trying. | 我们没有努力 |
| [15:48] | Unplanned pregnancy? | 意外怀孕吗 |
| [15:50] | That’s awesome! | 好棒啊 |
| [15:52] | Phil and I have been trying for, like– | 我和菲尔都努力了… |
| [15:55] | I don’t know– six months now? | 大概有半年了吧 |
| [15:57] | And the only thing I have to show for it are some rug burns | 我们唯一得到的就是磨破的地毯 |
| [16:00] | and a deeply-satisfied lover. | 还有一个满意的爱人吧 |
| [16:03] | Six months? That long? | 半年 那么久吗 |
| [16:05] | What? That’s a long time? | 怎么 半年很久吗 |
| [16:07] | N… No, I… No, I think that’s actually quite normal. | 不…这应该很正常吧 |
| [16:12] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [16:13] | To-totally normal. | 很正常 |
| [17:10] | Phil? | 菲尔 |
| [17:30] | Todd? | 陶德 |
| [17:31] | – Todd? – Hey, Tandy. What’s up, buddy? | -陶德 -坦迪 怎么了 |
| [17:34] | Why are you sleeping on the couch? | 你为什么睡沙发 |
| [17:35] | Uh, man, I don’t want to talk about it. | 我不想说 |
| [17:37] | Okay, well, have you seen Phil? | 好吧 你见到菲尔了吗 |
| [17:39] | He’s out at the beach. | 他在海滩那边 |
| [17:40] | Well, what’s he doing on the beach? | 他去海滩做什么 |
| [17:42] | I don’t know. The guy’s a total frickin’ mess. | 我怎么知道 他现在都破罐子破摔了 |
| [17:52] | Oh… farts. | 搞什么 |
| [18:01] | Phil? Phil? | 菲尔 菲尔 |
| [18:03] | Wake up! | 醒醒 |
| [18:16] | Okay, Phil, get up! Phil! | 菲尔 醒醒 菲尔 |
| [18:19] | Phil! Phil! Phil! | 菲尔… |
| [18:22] | Get up! Come on, get up, bro! Phil! | 起来啊 快起来 菲尔 |
| [18:28] | Feel free to wake up at any time and help me out. | 你想什么时候起来随便你了 |
| [18:31] | Friggin’ fart face. | 你个臭混蛋 |
| [18:33] | Surfboard limousine is… | 冲浪板豪华轿车… |
| [18:35] | open for business. | 要开动了 |
| [18:40] | There we go. That’s the culprit. | 知道了 找到罪魁祸首了 |
| [18:42] | Friggin’ surfboard fin. | 傻逼冲浪板尾 |
| [18:43] | Friggin’ idiot fin here. You seem loose enough. | 傻逼冲浪板尾 已经挺松了啊 |
| [18:53] | You bring a surfboard fin, I bring a gun. | 你有尾巴了不起啊 我有枪 |
| [19:11] | I got it. | 搞定了 |
| [19:13] | Slide it. | 滑啊滑 |
| [19:16] | Oh, hi, Phil’s penis. | 菲尔的鸡鸡 你好 |
| [19:18] | I know you didn’t mean it, huh? | 我知道你说的不是真心话 |
| [19:22] | What you said about leaving me up on that billboard. | 你说把我丢在广告版那里的事 |
| [19:25] | You know, you were frontin’, I was frontin’. | 你是装腔作势的 我也是的 |
| [19:30] | We just got off track, man, you know? | 我们只是失控了而已 |
| [19:33] | We were like two bullet trains headed straight for each other. | 我们就像两列高速火车相向而行 |
| [19:36] | There’s that penis again. | 又到了你的鸡鸡了 |
| [19:39] | Getting to know you pretty well, sir. | 这下我了解你了 先生 |
| [19:42] | It’s just that, you know, every time we got into our thing, | 每次我们有矛盾的时候 |
| [19:47] | it was like an alpha dog park. | 就好比两只狗老大相遇了 |
| [19:50] | And the problem was, | 可问题是 |
| [19:53] | we were both off leash. | 我们都没栓绳子 |
| [19:55] | I wish I was a lot more like you. | 我也希望能像你一样 |
| [19:58] | Have you ever seen When a Man Loves a Woman? | 你看过《当男人爱上女人》吗 |
| [20:01] | ‘Cause you are exactly like Meg Ryan in that. | 你就跟里面的梅格·瑞恩一模一样 |
| [20:05] | Here, I’m gonna give you a taste of my Andy Garcia. | 我要让你尝尝安迪·加西亚的厉害 |
| [20:10] | I’m sorry I’ve been a turd to you. | 很抱歉我以前对你不好 |
| [20:20] | The thing you didn’t realize is that I looked up to you, | 你没意识到 其实我很仰慕你 |
| [20:23] | like, the whole time, huh? | 一直以来都是 |
| [20:26] | You don’t believe that I’ve changed, | 你不相信我变了 |
| [20:28] | but I have. | 但我真的变了 |
| [20:29] | When we wake up tomorrow, | 等你明天醒来 |
| [20:32] | it’s gonna start a whole new chapter for us. | 我们的友谊会开启新的篇章 |
| [20:40] | It’s okay. It’s okay. | 没事 没事 |
| [20:41] | Just go back to bed. | 继续睡吧 |
| [20:45] | Hey, we’re not pregnant. | 我没有怀孕 |
| [20:47] | Oh, don’t worry. Don’t worry. Everything’s gonna be all right. | 别担心 一切都会好的 |
| [20:50] | Where were you? | 你去哪里了 |
| [20:52] | Just out helping Phil. | 出去帮了帮菲尔 |
| [20:54] | – That’s nice. – Yeah, right. Good night. | -真好 -嗯 晚安了 |
| [20:57] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [21:02] | Tandy! | 坦迪 |
| [21:05] | Is that Phil? | 那是菲尔吗 |
| [21:07] | Probably just wants to thank me. | 他可能只是想谢谢我 |
| [21:09] | Tandy! | 坦迪 |
| [21:10] | All right, I’m gonna sleep with this thing on. | 好吧 我蒙着枕头睡 |
| [21:14] | Tandy! | 坦迪 |
| [21:17] | Tandy! Tandy! | 坦迪 坦迪 |