| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:19] | I can’t believe I’m sterile. | 真不敢相信我不育 |
| [00:21] | I’ve been having sex all day with both Melissa and Gail. | 我今天一直在跟梅丽莎和盖尔啪来啪去 |
| [00:26] | Before Phil died, he told me | 菲尔去世前 |
| [00:29] | that he wanted you | 跟我说他想 |
| [00:30] | to help be the father to the baby. | 让你帮忙成为孩子的父亲 |
| [00:34] | You monster! | 你这个禽兽 |
| [00:37] | Look! | 看 |
| [00:45] | You have the nerve to show your face around here. | 你竟然有脸来这里 |
| [00:47] | What is your problem, you friggin’ turd. | 你搞什么啊 混球 |
| [00:50] | Oh, come on. | 来啊 |
| [00:51] | Don’t play dumb with me, you dong. | 别跟我装傻 你这混蛋 |
| [00:52] | She was my frigging girlfriend. | 她可是我女朋友 |
| [00:54] | Whoa, hold on a second. | 等等 |
| [00:56] | Are you talking about Christine? | 你是说克丽丝汀吗 |
| [00:57] | I come down from space, | 全世界的人都死绝了 |
| [00:59] | after everyone in the whole world has died, | 我刚从太空回到地球 |
| [01:01] | and you’re talking about Christine?! | 你竟然跟我说克丽丝汀 |
| [01:03] | I’m talking about Christine. | 我就说克丽丝汀怎么了 |
| [01:05] | She wasn’t your girlfriend. | 她不是你女朋友 |
| [01:07] | I loved her! | 我爱她 |
| [01:08] | I called dibs and you know it. | 我跟你说过 你明明知道的 |
| [01:11] | Stop! Stop! | 住手 住手 |
| [01:13] | – Sand! – I’m not hungry. | -吃沙吧你 -我不饿 |
| [01:14] | Eat some frigging sand. | 你给我吃 |
| [01:15] | No, no. | 不 |
| [01:16] | Eat it. | 你给我吃 |
| [01:18] | Eat it. | 你给我吃 |
| [01:18] | Let go of me, stop it. | 放开我 你住手 |
| [01:20] | I am sorry. | 对不起 |
| [01:22] | Phil, I’m sorry, okay? | 菲尔 对不起 好不好 |
| [01:23] | I had no idea you were still hanging on to this. | 我完全不知道你还对此耿耿不忘 |
| [01:26] | I am not hanging on to anything. | 我可没耿耿不忘 |
| [01:28] | For the last three years, | 过去的三年 |
| [01:29] | I have been stuck up there, | 我一直困在太空里 |
| [01:31] | and all I have thought about is you. | 我每天想的都是你 |
| [01:34] | And now I’m here. | 现在我来了 |
| [01:36] | And we’re together. | 我们团聚了 |
| [01:38] | We shouldn’t be fighting. | 我们不应该打架 |
| [01:41] | We’re supposed to be celebrating. | 我们应该庆祝才对 |
| [01:43] | This is a miracle. | 这是个奇迹 |
| [01:44] | This is amazing. Right? | 这简直不可思议 好吗 |
| [01:46] | I’m so sorry. | 对不起 |
| [01:50] | – I’m sorry. – I’m sorry. | -对不起 -对不起 |
| [01:57] | Hey, guys, | 大家伙 |
| [01:59] | this is my little brother, Mike. | 这是我弟弟 迈克 |
| [02:04] | It’s nice meeting you guys. | 很高兴见到你们 |
| [02:09] | So then, once I got to Tucson, | 然后 我一到图森 |
| [02:11] | I-I-I went straight to Phil’s apartment | 我就直接去了菲尔的公寓 |
| [02:13] | and it actually smelled pretty good, | 闻起来味道还挺不错 |
| [02:14] | so I knew this guy hadn’t been there in a while. | 然后我就知道这家伙肯定有段时间没在那里了 |
| [02:19] | But I knew that if Phil was going to stay in Tucson, | 但我知道如果菲尔要留在图森的话 |
| [02:21] | he probably would have moved to Bonita Estates. | 他八成会去宝妮塔别墅群 |
| [02:23] | See, he had a real boner | 他真的大爱那个 |
| [02:25] | for this Arena Football League player. | 室内橄榄球联盟的球员 |
| [02:27] | You remember that? What was his name? | 你还记得吗 他叫什么 |
| [02:28] | He used to live there, wh…? | 他原来住在那里 |
| [02:29] | Brent Junkins. | 布伦特·詹金斯 |
| [02:30] | Brent Junkins, that’s right. | 布伦特·詹金斯 没错 |
| [02:32] | Yeah, oh, man, he was obsessed. | 他超级喜欢他 |
| [02:34] | He used to spy on him from across the canyon | 他原来会穿着一身奇装异服 |
| [02:36] | using those, those fancy, uh, binoculars | 然后用那个高级的双筒望远镜 |
| [02:38] | and wearing that, that, that, that crazy outfit. | 从峡谷的一边偷偷监视他 |
| [02:39] | What was that called? | 你穿的那个衣服叫啥 |
| [02:40] | A ghillie suit. | 花边套装 |
| [02:41] | Ghillie suit, right. | 花边套装 没错 |
| [02:42] | Oh, it’s disgusting. | 超丑的 |
| [02:43] | It looked like a used mop. | 看起来就像是用过的抹布 |
| [02:45] | – Or a clean-looking suit. – We’ve seen it. | -其实是个挺干净的套装啦 -我们见过 |
| [02:46] | Anyway, once I got there, I, I found a note that said, | 我一去 就看到一张便签上面写着 |
| [02:49] | “We’re in Malibu,” Right? | 我们在马里布 对吧 |
| [02:50] | Melissa left that note for us. | 那个便签是梅丽莎留给我们的 |
| [02:52] | Well, thank God you did, | 幸好你留了便签 |
| [02:53] | ’cause that’s how I ended up here. | 我就是靠着那个找来的 |
| [02:55] | Hey, we are so glad you did. | 我们也很高兴你能来 |
| [02:57] | Uh, you know, I want to take a moment to just, uh, | 我想花点时间 |
| [02:59] | apologize to all you guys about that stuff on the beach earlier. | 向你们为我们俩之前在沙滩上的行为道歉 |
| [03:02] | Uh, you know, just so you all know, there was this situation | 你们要知道 我和迈克之间 |
| [03:05] | between Mike and I where, uh, | 之前有这么一件事 |
| [03:06] | I had liked this woman, uh, quite a bit, | 我之前真的很喜欢一个女人 |
| [03:08] | yes, and uh, then Mike, uh, | 没错 然后迈克 |
| [03:10] | kind of, then went in, and fooled around with her. | 就插足进来 天天撩她 |
| [03:12] | Uh, fully boned her, if I’m not mistaken. | 如果我们记错的话 总是纠缠她 |
| [03:14] | Is that, uh, would that be, uh, | 这样形容 |
| [03:16] | the way to, uh, to characterize that? | 是对的吧 |
| [03:18] | Well, I don’t know if I’d put it like that. | 我大概不会这样形容 |
| [03:20] | Oh, uh, uh, sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [03:21] | Made love to? | 和她啪啪啪了 |
| [03:22] | Don’t know if I’d put it like that, either. | 我大概也不会这样形容 |
| [03:24] | But, uh, you know, somewhere in between, uh, | 但是你也知道 就是介于 |
| [03:26] | making love and-and boning, yeah? | 啪啪啪和纠缠之间 |
| [03:30] | Yeah, I’m comfortable with that. | 这样说不错 |
| [03:31] | Anyway, you know, | 反正 |
| [03:32] | I thought that I had been, uh, | 我以为我之前已经 |
| [03:33] | pretty clear with my intentions, | 把我的意图表示得很明显了 |
| [03:35] | but I, I guess not, | 但是可能不够明显 |
| [03:36] | and that’s, uh, that’s on me, of course. | 当然 这怪我 |
| [03:37] | And then, you know, uh, uh, Mike uh, you know, | 然后 你知道 迈克 |
| [03:40] | kind of cowardly went up into, uh, space after that. | 之后有点像懦夫一样逃去了太空 |
| [03:42] | We didn’t get a chance to resolve that, uh, | 我们没能解决这问题 |
| [03:44] | but, uh, you know, thank God you’re, you’re here now. | 但谢天谢地 你来了 |
| [03:48] | To resolved issues. | 敬问题解决了 |
| [03:49] | Hear, hear. | 干杯 |
| [03:50] | – Cheers. – Cheers. | -干杯 -干杯 |
| [03:52] | Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers. | 干杯 干杯 干杯 干杯 |
| [03:54] | I want to hear more about this space stuff. | 我想多了解一点太空的事情 |
| [03:56] | Yeah, you know, I was mostly there just to do research. | 我基本上只是去做研究的 |
| [03:58] | Yeah, but I… still, you went to space. You know? | 没错 但是 你还是去了太空啊 |
| [04:01] | Yeah, no, I did, but I mean, so did chimps, right? | 没错 我是去了 但大猩猩也去了啊 |
| [04:05] | Being modest. | 别谦虚了 |
| [04:06] | You know, and speaking of hairy animals, | 说到长毛动物 |
| [04:08] | what’s with the beard, Sasquatch? | 你这胡子是什么鬼 大野人 |
| [04:09] | Hey, I think Tandy’s beard is sexy. | 我觉得坦迪的胡子可性感了 |
| [04:12] | Thank you, Carol. | 谢谢你 卡萝尔 |
| [04:13] | And why is everybody using your middle name? | 为什么大家都叫你的中间名 |
| [04:14] | Wh… uh, funny story, tragic story. | 说来话长 这是个搞笑又悲伤的故事 |
| [04:17] | You know, I’m surprised that people | 其实我挺惊讶的 |
| [04:17] | aren’t calling you by your nickname. | 大家竟然没叫你的昵称 |
| [04:20] | Well, that was, uh, a long time ago. | 那可是很久以前的事了 |
| [04:23] | And what was Tandy’s nickname? | 坦迪的昵称是啥 |
| [04:24] | Nobody wants to know about that. | 大家对这个不感兴趣的 |
| [04:27] | I don’t know if I should, I don’t… | 我也不知道该不该说 |
| [04:30] | Skidmark. | 飞机残液 |
| [04:32] | Skidmark. | 飞机残液 |
| [04:34] | Right? | 对吧 |
| [04:36] | Ah, yeah, yeah. | 没错 没错 |
| [04:38] | Yeah, my underwear were so clean | 我的内裤可干净了 |
| [04:39] | they went the other way with it. | 所以他们故意反着叫我 |
| [04:40] | Oh, yeah, that’s why people called you Skidmark, sure, yeah. | 可不是吗 就是因为这个大家才叫你飞机残液 |
| [04:45] | I’d appreciate it if we’d refrain from using that. | 大家要是不叫这个我会很高兴的 |
| [04:47] | You got it, Skidmark. | 没问题 飞机残液 |
| [04:51] | And so it begins. | 开始了 |
| [04:53] | You snuck it in there. | 你这个坏人 |
| [04:57] | Oh, God. | 天哪 |
| [05:07] | Listen, all that stuff I said at the beach, | 听着 我在沙滩说的那些话 |
| [05:09] | please, just forget I said it. | 你忘了吧 |
| [05:12] | Yeah, you were all over the place on that one. | 是啊 你可真是四处留情 |
| [05:16] | Probably, you should have told me | 也许你该私下告诉我 |
| [05:18] | about Melissa privately. | 你和梅丽莎是个什么情况的 |
| [05:19] | And you know, the whole “Big Love” thing, | 还有那个三妻四妾的事 |
| [05:22] | that was maybe not the best recovery. | 你那样做可不是最好的办法 |
| [05:23] | No, I see that now. | 是啊 我现在知道了 |
| [05:25] | Uh, big whiff. | 烂透了 |
| [05:26] | Total misfire. | 真是失败 |
| [05:27] | Just please know how sorry I am. | 我只想告诉你我真的很抱歉 |
| [05:30] | You guys talking about Todd’s proposal? | 你们是在说陶德之前的提议吗 |
| [05:32] | Yup. | 是啊 |
| [05:33] | Yeah, I’m gonna to pass, Todd. | 我就算了吧 陶德 |
| [05:34] | Yeah, no, I wa… I was just telling Gail, | 不是 我刚才正在告诉盖尔 |
| [05:36] | big whiff, total misfire. | 烂透了 真是失败 |
| [05:38] | You think? | 你知道了 |
| [05:40] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [05:41] | All right, see you later. | 那好吧 回见 |
| [05:50] | Just so you know, I don’t think I’m going to be up for your four-way. | 我只想告诉你 我不会跟你玩四人行的 |
| [05:52] | Yeah, I’m not getting any takers on that, so… | 是啊 没人赞同我 所以 |
| [05:55] | Yeah, well, when you say, | 是啊 当你和一个人说 |
| [05:56] | “Will you marry me?” to someone, | 你愿意娶我吗 |
| [05:58] | and then the other person says, | 结果那个人说 |
| [05:59] | “No, but do you want to be in a four-way with me?” | 不 但是你愿意和我玩四人行吗 |
| [06:01] | – I mean… – Yeah, no. | -我想说 -是啊 不可能 |
| [06:03] | Big misfire, whiff. | 完全失败 烂透了 |
| [06:06] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [06:08] | See you around, Casanova. | 回见了 花心情圣 |
| [06:09] | Right on. | 好 |
| [06:13] | Well, we ran out of blankets, | 我们的毯子用完了 |
| [06:14] | but I was able to find a towel in the hamper. | 但我在礼品篮里找到了一条毛巾 |
| [06:16] | Oh, that’s fine. | 那就行 |
| [06:17] | Yeah. | 好 |
| [06:19] | Thanks so much for understanding the whole lodging situation. | 非常感谢你能理解你现在寄人篱下的状态 |
| [06:22] | You know, it would just be weird for you to stay in Phil’s room. | 你也知道 要是让你住在菲尔的房间会很奇怪的 |
| [06:24] | You know, it’s kind of a shrine right now. | 那地方现在就是个神堂 |
| [06:27] | Hey, I get it. | 我明白 |
| [06:28] | I don’t want to muck anything up, you know? | 我不想搞砸任何事情 |
| [06:29] | Yeah, and of course, | 当然 还有 |
| [06:30] | that couch is taken ’cause | 这个沙发也有人占了 |
| [06:31] | Todd called dibs on that a while back. | 因为陶德之前已经说过了 |
| [06:33] | You know about dibs, right? | 你知道说过是什么意思吧 |
| [06:35] | You know, when someone calls for something, you can’t have it? | 当一个人说要什么的时候 你就不能强占了 |
| [06:37] | Sure. Yeah. Yeah. | 当然了 |
| [06:40] | You sure there’s nowhere else inside that I could sleep? | 你确定室内没有别的地方我可以睡吗 |
| [06:42] | No, you know nothing with a view of the stars, at least. | 没有 至少你在这里可以看到星空 |
| [06:44] | You know, and since I know how much you like to talk | 鉴于我知道你有多喜欢 |
| [06:46] | about space and stuff all the time, | 聊太空那些事情 |
| [06:48] | I thought that, you know, | 我就觉得 |
| [06:48] | this would probably be the best fit for you. | 这地方最适合你了 |
| [06:51] | Yeah, night-night. | 安安哦 |
| [06:53] | Burn. | 干得漂亮 |
| [06:53] | Good night, Skidmark. | 晚安 飞机残液 |
| [06:58] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [07:04] | Hey, there’s my sexy Skidmark. | 我性感的飞机残液回来了 |
| [07:07] | Carol, please. | 卡萝尔 别这样 |
| [07:09] | You must be so happy that your brother’s here. | 你弟弟来了你肯定很开心吧 |
| [07:12] | Oh, over the friggin’ moon. | 是啊 开心炸了 |
| [07:14] | Well, it looks like our family’s already growing, huh? | 看来我们的家族又扩大了 对吧 |
| [07:18] | I always pictured it’d be | 我总是想着 |
| [07:18] | with a baby instead of an adult man, | 会是一个孩子 而不是个成人 |
| [07:21] | but, wow, God’s plan, you know? | 但 天意谁知道呢 |
| [07:24] | I’m so sorry. | 我真的很抱歉 |
| [07:25] | In all the excitement, | 我弟弟来了大家都很激动 |
| [07:26] | we never got a chance to talk about my balls. | 我们都没能好好谈谈我蛋蛋的事 |
| [07:29] | Now look, I know how badly you wanted this. | 听着 我知道你有多想要个孩子 |
| [07:31] | I’m, I’m sorry that I’m shooting blanks. | 我很抱歉让你的愿望落空了 |
| [07:33] | Na-huh. Don’t you be sorry about that, | 别这样 你不必感到抱歉 |
| [07:36] | because maybe I’m shooting blanks, too, huh? | 说不定我也不行呢 对吧 |
| [07:39] | Maybe we’re a couple of Hollywood stunt people, | 也许我们俩就是一对好莱坞特技演员 |
| [07:41] | just shooting blanks. | 打出的全是空弹 |
| [07:44] | Carol, | 卡萝尔 |
| [07:45] | I’m sure you’re very fertile. | 你肯定没问题的 |
| [07:46] | I mean, you have so many periods. | 你经期没完没了的 |
| [07:48] | I do. | 没错 |
| [07:49] | I’m the problem here. | 我才是问题所在 |
| [07:51] | You’re never the problem. | 你永远不会是问题所在 |
| [07:52] | I mean, you are the problem, sometimes, | 虽然你有时候是总是惹麻烦 |
| [07:54] | but not in this, okay? | 但不是这方面 |
| [07:56] | Listen, Skid, | 听着 小飞机 |
| [07:58] | I did not marry you so we could have a baby together. | 我嫁给你不是为了一起有个孩子 |
| [08:01] | I did the first time, | 我一开始是这样 |
| [08:03] | but not the second time, okay? | 但后来不是了 |
| [08:06] | I married you ’cause I want to be with you. | 我嫁给你是因为想和你在一起 |
| [08:09] | You’re the bee’s knees. | 你最棒了 |
| [08:12] | You’re the bee’s knees, | 你才棒 |
| [08:13] | and the femur, and the gastrocnemius, | 你最棒 你超级棒 |
| [08:15] | and the whole bee leg region. | 全世界你最棒 |
| [08:18] | Why don’t you come over here | 你怎么不过来 |
| [08:19] | and give me a little sting? | 用你的小棒棒扎我一下呢 |
| [08:21] | Little sting? Carol. | 小棒棒吗 卡萝尔 |
| [08:23] | Okay, almost average size sting. | 好吧 正常尺寸的棒棒好吧 |
| [08:27] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [08:30] | Well, so then I was like, wait a second, | 然后我就说 等等 |
| [08:32] | if this is the American flag, | 如果这是美国国旗 |
| [08:34] | then, I think I put my pants on that asteroid. | 那我好像把裤子留在那个小行星上了 |
| [08:37] | No! | 不会吧 |
| [08:39] | It’s so great being around people again. | 能再和人生活在一起真是太好了 |
| [08:41] | It really is, sorry that…, I know that’s… | 真的 很抱歉 我知道这 |
| [08:43] | Oh, look, it’s Skidmark. | 飞机残液来了 |
| [08:44] | Hello, Skidmark. | 你好啊 飞机残液 |
| [08:46] | How’s that Skidmark. | 你们好 |
| [08:47] | Good morning, Phil, how are you? | 早上好啊 菲尔 你还好吗 |
| [08:49] | Good morning. | 早上好 |
| [08:49] | How the heck did you sleep, bud? | 你睡得如何 老弟 |
| [08:51] | Uh, out there? | 在外面吗 |
| [08:52] | Um, yeah, yeah, I mean, okay. | 还行啊 |
| [08:54] | I think I’m just still on space time. | 我似乎还没从太空的时差调回来 |
| [08:57] | Mike, that’s so funny. | 迈克 太有趣了 |
| [08:59] | Oh, wait, were you up in space? | 等等 你之前去过太空吗 |
| [09:01] | Oh, I almost forgot because I hadn’t heard you | 我都差点忘了 因为我有五秒钟 |
| [09:02] | mention it in, like, five seconds. | 没听你提起了 |
| [09:04] | Burn. | 干得漂亮 |
| [09:05] | Well, maybe some of the poop from your underwear | 可能你内裤上的屎 |
| [09:06] | got stuck in your ears. | 糊住了你的耳朵吧 |
| [09:08] | Burn. | 干得漂亮 |
| [09:08] | You know what? I got something to show you. | 你知道吗 我要让你看看 |
| [09:10] | No, no, Tandy, stop it. | 不 坦迪 住手 |
| [09:13] | Now that’s where my butt usually lays against my underwear. | 通常我的菊花是放在内裤的这个位置 |
| [09:16] | Look at that, huh? | 看看 |
| [09:17] | Do you see anything? | 看到什么了吗 |
| [09:18] | – There is nothing in here. – You’re right. | -这里什么也没有 -你说得对 |
| [09:19] | – Look at this. – You’re right. | -你给我看好 -你说得对 |
| [09:20] | And you guys, I invite you to look at this as well. | 还有你们 我也邀请你们看看 |
| [09:22] | – No, we don’t need to. – No, Tandy. | -不 我们还是不看了 -不 坦迪 |
| [09:23] | Look at this, I’ll rub it all over my face. | 看看 我还能用它擦脸呢 |
| [09:25] | I’m comfortable with that, | 我舒服得不得了 |
| [09:25] | ’cause I know there’s nothing on there. | 因为我知道上面什么也没有 |
| [09:27] | And I’ve been wearing these puppies for four days straight. | 而且这条内裤我已经穿了四天了 |
| [09:29] | Oh, poor Carol. | 可怜的卡萝尔 |
| [09:30] | Give or take four days. | 大约四天 |
| [09:32] | Well, that means five, huh? | 那就是五天咯 |
| [09:37] | Really loving this, yeah. | 我真喜欢和你这样 |
| [09:39] | Me, too, actually. | 其实我也是 |
| [09:41] | Uh, look, hey, | 听我说 |
| [09:43] | I know we joke around and everything, | 我知道我们一直开玩笑 |
| [09:44] | but it’s really great to see you again. | 但再次见到你们真的很好 |
| [09:46] | I missed you so much, Phil. | 我好想你 菲尔 |
| [09:48] | Aw, geez, well, the feeling’s mutual. | 天啊 我也是 |
| [09:53] | Come here. | 来 |
| [09:56] | That’s so nice. | 真好 |
| [10:00] | Oh, hey, I was thinking about having a little bonfire | 对了 我想晚点去沙滩上 |
| [10:03] | down on the beach later today. | 开个篝火派对 |
| [10:04] | Why… n… why? | 为…为什么 |
| [10:05] | Uh, just a way to thank you guys | 就是感谢你们 |
| [10:06] | for bringing me in the fold so graciously, I just… | 这么好心地接纳我 我… |
| [10:09] | If you guys already have plans or something. | 如果你们已经有计划了 |
| [10:10] | No, let’s all do it, right? | 没有 我们都去吧 |
| [10:11] | I was going to drink, could I drink there? | 我本来想喝酒 我能去喝酒吗 |
| [10:13] | Not unless I drink everything first. | 除非我先把酒都喝光了 |
| [10:15] | You better not. | 你最好不要 |
| [10:17] | Okay, well then, I’m going to go down | 那好 那我去 |
| [10:18] | – and start setting things up, all right? – Right. | -开始准备了 好吗 -好 |
| [10:19] | I will see you all on the flippity. | 我们一会儿穿着内内见咯 |
| [10:23] | “See you on the flippity.” | “穿着内内见” |
| [10:25] | Flippity, flippity, that’s, uh, my thing. | 内内 内内 又说我 |
| [10:29] | Roll out the barrel… | 酒桶滚出来 |
| [10:35] | I’m bringing a little wine to the bonfire. | 我要带点酒去篝火派对 |
| [10:36] | I figure we can just burn this barrel after we tap it. | 等我们把酒喝完可以直接把这个桶烧了 |
| [10:42] | Um, could we talk? | 我们能谈谈吗 |
| [10:46] | Yeah, sure. | 好啊 |
| [10:47] | I did not mean to hurt you. | 我没想伤害你的 |
| [10:50] | You know, I was in a bad way after losing Gordon, | 失去戈登后我很难过 |
| [10:52] | and doing such a suck job on Phil’s appendix surgery. | 然后又给菲尔做阑尾手术 |
| [10:58] | I was kind of nosediving. | 我有点不知所措了 |
| [11:01] | I get it. | 我懂 |
| [11:02] | I mean, Todd’s a big teddy bear. | 陶德就像大泰迪熊一样 |
| [11:06] | He’s a big ol’ beanbag chair. | 他简直就是人肉豆袋椅子 |
| [11:09] | – Yeah, you just fall right into him. – Yeah. | -对 不知不觉就坐上去了 -是 |
| [11:11] | Sometimes, you can’t even get back out. | 有时候坐上去就起不来了 |
| [11:12] | Yeah, he’s like quicksand. | 对 就像进了流沙一样 |
| [11:14] | The good kind. | 好的那种 |
| [11:15] | Help! I’m drowning in Todd. | 救命 我快淹死在陶德里了 |
| [11:17] | Help! I can’t get out. | 救命 我出不去了 |
| [11:18] | I don’t want to get out. | 我不想出去 |
| [11:22] | No, I really did love him. | 我真的爱过他 |
| [11:24] | I know you did. | 我知道 |
| [11:27] | I really care about him, too. | 我也真的关心他 |
| [11:33] | Shall we get this party started? | 我们可以开始派对了吗 |
| [11:40] | Lucky shot. | 运气而已 |
| [11:43] | You know, you wouldn’t think it, | 你肯定想不到 |
| [11:45] | but your brother is a very gifted lover. | 你哥哥是个很有天赋的爱人 |
| [11:48] | Well, it must have been all that practice | 那肯定是因为他以前跟邻居家的狗 |
| [11:49] | with the neighborhood dogs. | 练习得多了 |
| [11:51] | Mike! | 迈克 |
| [11:53] | You are incorrigible. | 你真是老司机 |
| [11:56] | Carol, it’s been an absolute delight getting to know you. | 卡萝尔 认识你真的很开心 |
| [12:02] | Just to be clear, uh, dibs. | 说明一下 她有主了 |
| [12:04] | Oh. Oh, my gosh. | 天啊 |
| [12:05] | Understood. | 我明白 |
| [12:06] | I’ve been dibbed. | 我有主了 |
| [12:07] | I’ve never been dibbed. | 我第一次有主了 |
| [12:11] | Hey, Mike, | 迈克 |
| [12:12] | what’s with the guitars, do you play? | 带吉他来做什么 你会弹吗 |
| [12:15] | Oh, um, I don’t really play, no. | 其实算不上会弹 |
| [12:16] | I mean, I noodle a little bit. | 我就会拨几下 |
| [12:18] | A frigging guitar shark over here. | 他就是吉他界中的大鲨鱼 |
| [12:20] | He took like, like, 20 years of lessons. | 他上了有20年的吉他课 |
| [12:23] | – Wh… no, that’s not true. – What? It’s so true. | -什么 根本不是 -明明就是 |
| [12:24] | No, I took two years of lessons | 我就是大概八岁的时候 |
| [12:26] | when I was, like, eight years old, that’s all. | 上过两年的课而已 |
| [12:28] | – Well, play something, Mike. – Yeah. Yeah. | -来一首 迈克 -对对 |
| [12:30] | You’re playing into his hand. | 你们中他的计了 |
| [12:31] | It is exactly what he wants. | 他就想让你们这样 |
| [12:32] | Oh, come on, Mike, Mike… | 来吧 迈克 迈克 |
| [12:34] | Mike, Mike, Mike… | 迈克 迈克… |
| [12:35] | Okay, all right, all right, | 好吧好吧 |
| [12:36] | okay, okay. | 好 |
| [12:37] | – Mike, Mike, Mike. – Okay, all right, all right. | -迈克 迈克 -好 好 |
| [12:39] | This one has, uh, special significance to me now. | 这首歌现在对我有特殊的意义 |
| [12:45] | *Ground control to Major Tom* | *地面指挥呼叫汤姆上尉* |
| [12:51] | *Ground Control to Major Tom* | *地面指挥呼叫汤姆上尉* |
| [12:56] | *Take your protein pills* | *吃掉蛋白质药片* |
| [12:58] | *And put your helmet on* | *戴上头盔* |
| [13:02] | *This is Major Tom* | *我是汤姆上校* |
| [13:04] | *To Ground Control* | *呼叫地面指挥* |
| [13:07] | *I’m stepping through the door* | *我要出门了* |
| [13:12] | *And I’m floating* | *我在漂浮* |
| [13:13] | *In a most peculiar way* | *方式好奇怪* |
| [13:18] | *And the stars look very different* | *星星看起来都不一样* |
| [13:22] | *Today, for here* | *今天 这里* |
| [13:29] | *Am I sitting in my tin can* | *我坐在我的舰里* |
| [13:33] | *Far above the world* | *远离世界* |
| [13:41] | *Planet Earth is blue* | *地球蔚蓝* |
| [13:43] | *And there’s nothing I can do…* | *我却无能为力…* |
| [13:48] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [13:50] | – It’s okay, Mike. – Being all alone. | -没事 迈克 -我一直都是一个人 |
| [13:52] | There’s nothing you can do. | 你无能为力 |
| [13:53] | We’ve all been there. | 我们都经历过 |
| [13:55] | I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from. I just… | 抱歉 我也不知道自己怎么了 我… |
| [13:58] | I know, we’ve all been there, man. | 我知道 我们都经历过 |
| [14:00] | It was all the feelings that came… | 万千思绪涌上心头… |
| [14:02] | You just got to let it out. | 发泄出来就好了 |
| [14:03] | We’re here for you, Mike. | 有我们在 迈克 |
| [14:06] | Friggin’ Mike. | 该死的迈克 |
| [14:15] | Hey, great pre-party last night, huh? | 昨晚的派对预热很棒啊对吧 |
| [14:18] | Pre-party? | 派对预热 |
| [14:19] | That was a party-party. | 那明明是超级派对 |
| [14:22] | Well, maybe in the old world, but, uh, in the new world, | 在以前的世界可能是 但在新世界里 |
| [14:25] | we all know what a real party can be, huh? | 我们都知道真正的派对可以嗨成什么样 |
| [14:28] | Don’t worry, little brother, | 别担心 小弟弟 |
| [14:29] | I’ll show you how it’s done. | 我会让你知道是什么样 |
| [14:30] | That’s right, ’cause tonight, | 没错 今晚 |
| [14:32] | I’m going to throw my own little soire. | 我要办自己的小狂欢派对 |
| [14:34] | Star Amphitheater, 6:00. | 全明星剧场 六点开始 |
| [14:37] | And this party is BYOAR: Bring Your Own Ass Replacement. | 这场派对是BYOAR 多带个菊花来 |
| [14:42] | ‘Cause your asses are going to be blown away. | 因为你们肯定会嗨爆的 |
| [14:44] | New world rules, the sky’s the limit. | 新世界的规矩 不上天就行 |
| [14:48] | Not for me. | 不适用于我 |
| [14:53] | Yes, indeed. | 谁说不是 |
| [14:54] | You need to get some new material, space man, | 你得想点新梗了 宇航员 |
| [14:57] | ’cause we don’t have space for it, man. | 因为我们这座小庙容不下上天的 |
| [15:00] | Boom. Burn. | 哈哈 输了吧 |
| [15:03] | Stove’s on. | 炉子开着 |
| [15:04] | Stove’s on, guys, watch out. | 炉子开着 大家小心 |
| [15:05] | I made tea, sorry. | 我泡了茶 抱歉 |
| [15:12] | Oh, you just needed some milk. | 你只是需要喝点奶 |
| [15:14] | Now you can take a little nap. | 喝了奶快睡一觉吧 |
| [15:16] | You can do it, little baby. | 你可以的 小宝宝 |
| [15:18] | Hey, Todd, got a sec, hon? | 陶德 有时间吗 亲爱的 |
| [15:23] | Uh, we want to talk to you about something. | 我们想跟你说件事 |
| [15:28] | Yeah, we talked, | 我们谈过了 |
| [15:29] | and we think we want | 我们觉得 |
| [15:33] | to give this whole thing a go. | 可以试试你说的事 |
| [15:37] | Ha, ha, very funny. | 哈哈 好好笑 |
| [15:39] | Friggin’ Abbott and Costello, here. | 你们是在跟我演《两傻双人秀》吧 |
| [15:40] | No. No, seriously. | 不是 我们是认真的 |
| [15:42] | We’re in. | 我们愿意 |
| [15:44] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [15:47] | O-okay, n-now, just t-to be clear, | 好吧 我们说清楚 |
| [15:50] | we’re talking about this, y… right? | 我们是在说这样…是吧 |
| [15:52] | But not this. | 而不是这样 |
| [15:54] | Just this. | 只是这样 |
| [15:55] | Oh, just… yeah. Yeah, just this, just this. | 只有这样 没错 |
| [15:57] | Right. | 好 |
| [15:59] | Okay, well then, | 好 那好 |
| [16:02] | let’s make this official. | 我们正式一点 |
| [16:04] | Melissa, Gail, make me the happiest man in the world. | 梅丽莎 盖尔 让我成为世上最幸福的男人吧 |
| [16:09] | – Oh, uh-uh. – What, are you frigging high? | -不是 -搞什么 你疯了吗 |
| [16:11] | Yeah, I, well, I got, | 好吧 我… |
| [16:13] | I got a little ahead of myself there, didn’t I? | 我有点操之过急了 是吗 |
| [16:15] | Yeah, you did. | 没错 |
| [16:18] | Group hug? | 一起抱抱 |
| [16:22] | – Yeah, that’s okay. – No harm in that. | -这个可以 -这个没问题 |
| [16:24] | Yeah, sure. | 是啊 |
| [16:27] | Frigging no-show turds. | 竟然放我鸽子 |
| [16:29] | They don’t show up. | 他们竟然不来 |
| [16:30] | Specific invitation, 6:00. | 我说的很具体了 六点开始 |
| [16:33] | 6:00. | 六点 |
| [16:36] | – Here we go. – All right. | -快来 -好 |
| [16:37] | Hey, look! | 快看 |
| [16:38] | It’s Queef Richards of the Blowing Stones. | 有大明星 |
| [16:41] | Yeah! | 耶 |
| [16:42] | Well, where have you guys been? | 你们怎么才来 |
| [16:43] | Mike threw a pre-party | 迈克办了个预热派对 |
| [16:44] | and we got a little preoccupied. | 我们有点抽不开身 |
| [16:47] | I’ve been waiting here for, like, three hours. | 我都等了你们有三个小时了 |
| [16:49] | Oh, sorry, Dad. | 抱歉 老爸 |
| [16:52] | What do you guys think? | 你们怎么看 |
| [16:53] | – Should we go back to Mike’s party? – Yeah! | -我们要回去继续迈克的派对吗 -好啊 |
| [16:54] | – Ah, we could. – Wait, w-w-wait. | -可以啊 -慢着慢着 |
| [16:57] | I can’t believe you guys fell for my old whiny, dweeb routine. | 真不敢相信你们竟然上了我一哭二闹的当 |
| [17:00] | I was kidding. | 我开玩笑呢 |
| [17:01] | Hey, okay, let’s get this show on the road, huh? | 我们开始表演吧 |
| [17:04] | Queef Richards, good one, bro. | 大明星 这个好 哥们 |
| [17:07] | I’m still getting used to this smoke machine, | 我还在适应这个烟雾机 |
| [17:10] | but that is all right, | 但没关系 |
| [17:12] | because I’m very used to the rock and roll machine. | 因为我特别熟悉摇滚机器 |
| [17:16] | Hello, Los Angeles! | 你好 洛杉矶 |
| [17:18] | Hey, this first one goes out to all the survivors out there. | 第一首歌送给所有幸存者 |
| [17:21] | It’s a little homage to my favorite BJ of all time. | 这是对我最喜欢的BJ致敬 |
| [17:24] | Brent Junkins? | 布伦特·詹金斯吗 |
| [17:27] | Oh, Mike, very funny. | 迈克 好好笑 |
| [17:30] | No, an even better BJ than that, | 不是他 比他更棒的一个BJ |
| [17:32] | Billy Joel. | 比利·乔尔 |
| [17:33] | Two, three, four… | 二三四 |
| [17:34] | *All alone, oh, my Lord, then you saw my billboards* | *孤身一个人 突然就看到我的广告牌* |
| [17:37] | *You came to Tucson ’cause of me* | *因为我你们来到了图森* |
| [17:39] | *I was Phil, now I’m Tandy* | *我是菲尔 现在我叫坦迪* |
| [17:40] | *Met Carol at a camp* | *在一个营地遇到卡萝尔* |
| [17:42] | *Melissa next, oh, what a champ* | *然后是梅丽莎 真是走运* |
| [17:43] | *Todd, Gail, Erica* | *陶德 盖尔 艾瑞卡* |
| [17:44] | *Then new Phil, rest in peace* | *然后是已经安息的新菲尔* |
| [17:46] | *Kicked out of Tucson* | *被赶出图森* |
| [17:48] | *Found a group in Malibu* | *在马里布找到了大伙* |
| [17:49] | *Pitbull’s yacht blown away* | *皮普保罗的游艇都炸飞了* |
| [17:51] | *What else do I have to say?* | *我还能说什么* |
| [17:52] | *We didn’t start the fire* | *不是我们放的火* |
| [17:54] | Very funny, Mike. | 好好笑 迈克 |
| [17:55] | *It was always burning* | *但大火一直烧* |
| [17:57] | *Since the world’s been turning* | *自从世界发生巨变* |
| [17:58] | *We didn’t start the virus* | *病毒不是我们的错* |
| [18:01] | Mike! Stop it, okay? | 迈克 你停下好吗 |
| [18:06] | Look, this is my time. | 现在是属于我的时间 |
| [18:07] | You had your time yesterday. | 昨天你已经做过焦点了 |
| [18:09] | Wh…I-I-I-I’m just screwing around, | 我就是闹着玩玩 |
| [18:10] | having a little fun. | 开心一下 |
| [18:11] | Look, we get it. | 我们知道 |
| [18:13] | All right, you’re cooler than me. | 你比我酷 |
| [18:15] | And smarter. | 比我聪明 |
| [18:17] | And funnier and more fun. | 比我风趣幽默 |
| [18:19] | And you had a cooler job than me | 你之前的工作比我的酷 |
| [18:20] | and you got all the ladies. | 美女们都跑去你那里了 |
| [18:22] | Well, you’re not perfect, Mike. | 你并不完美 迈克 |
| [18:24] | Okay, you got your faults. | 你也有犯错的时候 |
| [18:27] | Yeah, you’re so vain. | 你特别自负 |
| [18:29] | Yeah, tell them about your nose job. | 跟他们说说你做鼻子的事 |
| [18:31] | I didn’t have a nose job. | 我没有做鼻子 |
| [18:32] | I broke my nose and had to have surgery to fix it. | 我鼻子断了然后做手术矫正好了 |
| [18:35] | That’s all he’s talking about. | 就是这么回事 |
| [18:35] | Well, it sounds like a nose job to me. | 我觉得你那就是做鼻子了 |
| [18:37] | Yeah, well tomato, to-mah-to. | 好吧 西红柿番茄 |
| [18:39] | To-mah-to. | 番茄 |
| [18:40] | Or how about, how about your senior thesis, huh? | 那你的毕业论文呢 |
| [18:43] | Perfect Mike here had to switch colleges | 完美的迈克因为抄袭被发现 |
| [18:45] | ’cause he got busted for plagiarism. | 所以不得不换了大学 |
| [18:48] | Uh, yeah, no, th… th… that’s true. | 这个啊 这是真的 |
| [18:51] | Not lyin’ there. | 他没说谎 |
| [18:53] | And how about Nana? | 奶奶呢 |
| [18:56] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [18:58] | Our grandmother was dying, | 我们的祖母快不行了 |
| [18:59] | and our whole family was with her, | 我们全家人都在陪着她 |
| [19:02] | and this guy went on a kayaking trip. | 这家伙却去独木舟旅行了 |
| [19:04] | Yeah, well, you know, uh, you’re right. | 是 你说得对 |
| [19:07] | No, I wasn’t there. | 我是没陪着她 |
| [19:09] | Well, I was. | 我陪着 |
| [19:13] | Okay, I think I’m going to go home. | 好吧 我先回家了 |
| [19:16] | – No, no, no, no. – Hey, no, it’s all right. | -不不不 -没事 |
| [19:18] | I’m okay, I’m, I’m, I’m going to go home. | 我没事 我先回家了 |
| [19:20] | – I’m going to go home. – Burn. | -我先回家了 -赢了 |
| [19:21] | Yeah. Good burn. | 你赢得漂亮 |
| [19:23] | Looks like we’re even now. | 现在我们扯平了 |
| [19:25] | No, no, we’re pretty far from even, bud. | 没有 还差得远呢 哥们 |
| [19:28] | What a square, huh? | 天道轮回 |
| [19:31] | We’re all circles, huh? | 苍天饶过谁 |
| [19:33] | I’m, I’m tired and it’s time. | 我也累了 该回去了 |
| [19:35] | What? Don’t let this sourpuss bring down the party. | 搞什么 不要让那个讨厌鬼毁了我们的派对 |
| [19:38] | Yeah, that was all you, dude. | 是你毁了派对 伙计 |
| [19:40] | Where you going? | 你们去哪里 |
| [19:42] | It’s a frigging party. | 这是派对啊 |
| [19:46] | This is crazy. | 你别胡闹了 |
| [19:48] | You owe your brother an apology. | 你应该向你弟弟道歉 |
| [19:51] | I owe him an apology? | 我应该向他道歉 |
| [19:52] | He came all the way down from space | 他刚从太空大老远回来 |
| [19:55] | and you’ve been nothing but mean to him. | 你却一直对他百般刁难 |
| [19:57] | I welcomed him into my own home. | 我把他迎到自己家里了 |
| [20:00] | Stop lying to yourself. | 不要骗自己了 |
| [20:02] | Look, don’t you see how lucky you are? | 难道你不知道自己有多幸运吗 |
| [20:05] | You are the only two people | 你是这个世界上 |
| [20:07] | in this entire world that have family. | 还有亲人的两个人之一 |
| [20:09] | Whatever problems you had in the past, | 不管你们以前有什么矛盾 |
| [20:11] | why don’t you just leave it | 何不把它留在 |
| [20:12] | in the old world where it belongs? | 矛盾应该属于的旧世界里 |
| [20:15] | You’re his big brother, | 你是他哥哥 |
| [20:16] | so why don’t you start acting like it? | 你要有做哥哥的样子 |
| [20:18] | You’re right. | 说得对 |
| [20:20] | He’s my little brother. | 他是我弟弟 |
| [20:22] | He needs my guidance. | 他需要我的指引 |
| [20:23] | My ropes showing. | 我应该做榜样 |
| [20:26] | I’m going to go apologize to him first thing in the morning. | 明天早上我起来后要先向他道歉 |
| [20:29] | That’s my Tandy. | 这才是我的坦迪 |
| [20:55] | What in heaven’s name? | 搞什么 |
| [20:59] | Mike. | 迈克 |
| [21:00] | – All kinds of crazy. – Yeah. | -都疯了 -是啊 |
| [21:01] | Everyone was like, oh, I want just the elliptical machine. | 大家都想要椭圆机 |
| [21:04] | Mike? | 迈克 |
| [21:09] | Oh, my God. | 苍天啊 |
| [21:11] | Hey, Phil. | 菲尔 |
| [21:12] | Know anything about, uh, this? | 你知道这是怎么回事吗 |
| [21:17] | Hmm. Burn? | 输了吧 |