| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:18] | – I do. Todd? – I do, too. | -我愿意 陶德 -我也愿意 |
| [00:20] | Mr. And Mrs. Chartres-Rodriguez! | 夏特尔·罗德里格斯夫妇 |
| [00:23] | You have to tell him | 你必须告诉他 |
| [00:24] | I’m delivering the baby. | 我来帮你生孩子 |
| [00:25] | The only thing that man is qualified to deliver is rancid farts. | 那个人够格生出来的唯一东西就是臭屁 |
| [00:29] | I’m ready. | 我准备好了 |
| [00:30] | You think so? | 是吗 |
| [00:31] | I know so. | 是的 |
| [00:33] | – Okay. – Oh, God. | -好了 -天哪 |
| [00:34] | There you have it, a healthy baby. | 孩子出来了 一个健康的孩子 |
| [00:36] | She wants me to deliver the baby. | 她想让我来给孩子接生 |
| [00:40] | I wouldn’t want anybody else to deliver our baby. | 我不想让别人来接生我们的孩子 |
| [00:42] | Gonna need a flight attendant. | 陶德会需要乘务员 |
| [00:44] | That would be me? | 是我吗 |
| [00:45] | Guys, my water broke. | 两位 我的羊水破了 |
| [00:49] | Oh, farts. | 糟了 |
| [00:54] | Okay, guys, it’s go time. | 好了 各位 该动身了 |
| [00:56] | Can we bring it in for a sec? | 我们能开始了吗 |
| [01:01] | Great, I’ll bring it to you. | 好吧 我来好了 |
| [01:03] | Now, we’re about to witness | 我们即将亲眼见证 |
| [01:03] | the first new life of our new world. | 新世界第一个新生命的来临 |
| [01:05] | Isn’t that exciting? Huh? | 多激动人心啊 对吧 |
| [01:08] | Now, just to avoid any confusion, | 为了避免产生误会 |
| [01:10] | I’d like to sketch out the chain of command. | 我得说明一下指挥系统 |
| [01:12] | So, uh, Gail is the pilot in here, | 所以 盖尔是正驾驶 |
| [01:14] | Todd is obviously her copilot… | 陶德显然是她的副驾驶 |
| [01:16] | …and I’m just the flight attendant, you know? | 而我则是乘务员 好吗 |
| [01:17] | The X factor, if you will. | 你们也可以称我为未知因素 |
| [01:19] | It doesn’t mean I’m not important. | 这并不是说我不重要 |
| [01:21] | Heck, I might be the, uh, most important person in here, huh? | 见鬼 我大概是这里最重要的人了 对吧 |
| [01:23] | You know, like in The Breakfast Club | 就像是《早餐俱乐部》里那样 |
| [01:25] | how that janitor is the eyes and ears of the school. | 那个清洁工其实是学校的耳目 |
| [01:28] | Well, you know, I’m like the, uh, you know, | 所以 你们懂的 我就像是 |
| [01:30] | the penis and testicles and pubic hair of this, | 这个临时搭建的产房的 |
| [01:32] | uh, makeshift delivery room. | 鸡鸡 蛋蛋 和阴毛 |
| [01:35] | But, uh, uh, Gail is the brains, | 但是 盖尔是大脑 |
| [01:36] | you know, and she runs this show, huh? | 就是说 她主导这一切 |
| [01:38] | She has the conch. | 她才是老大 |
| [01:39] | Gail, now, you, please, uh, take this baby out of Erica. | 盖尔 现在请你从艾瑞卡肚子里拿出这个孩子 |
| [01:42] | Erica, get up on the table now. Please. | 艾瑞卡 请立刻躺桌子上去 |
| [01:44] | Tandy. | 坦迪 |
| [01:45] | She’s in early labor. | 她还在生产初期 |
| [01:47] | She’s got to keep walking around to get things moving. | 她还需要不断走动 好顺利生产 |
| [01:50] | Yeah, we’ve got a few hours yet, so… | 好 那我们还有几个小时 所以 |
| [01:52] | Well, is there anything I can do? | 有什么我能帮忙的吗 |
| [01:54] | – Yes, actually, could you run and go get me some tape? – Yeah. | -有 你能去给我拿点胶带来吗 -好的 |
| [01:57] | Oh, I got some right here. | 我这里就有一些 |
| [01:59] | Sorry, it’s only Scotch, masking, and duct. | 抱歉 我只有透明胶 遮光胶纸和布基胶带 |
| [02:02] | What’s it for? | 要这些干什么 |
| [02:03] | These are the pages that I’m gonna need | 如果生产过程中出现意外 |
| [02:06] | if anything goes wonky. | 我得参考下这些书页 |
| [02:07] | I’m gonna tape them up there just in case. | 以防万一 我得把它们贴在这里 |
| [02:09] | Ugh, the day I don’t pack double-sided! | 我怎么就没带双面胶呢 |
| [02:12] | What were you thinking, Carol? | 你脑子呢 卡萝尔 |
| [02:14] | Ooh, yeah, we’ll just go with Scotch. | 好 我们用透明胶就好 |
| [02:15] | Here, let me, uh, get those for you, huh? | 我来吧 我来给你拿这些 |
| [02:17] | Thanks, Tandy. | 多谢 坦迪 |
| [02:18] | Hey, Gail, don’t even waste your friggin’ breath on thanks. | 盖尔 别费力气说谢谢了 |
| [02:22] | You got a job to do. | 你是要做大事的人 |
| [02:23] | I’m only here to blend into the background | 我在这里只是要和背景融为一体 |
| [02:25] | and make sure everything goes exactly right. | 然后确保一切无误 |
| [02:28] | Hey, I don’t want thanks | 我和天堂里任何一个天使一样 |
| [02:29] | any more than the common angel from heaven. | 我不需要谢谢 |
| [02:32] | So what are all these things? | 这些都是什么 |
| [02:34] | Uh, all the little curveballs, you know. | 你知道的 就是些曲线球啦 |
| [02:36] | Cord stuff, uh, hemorrhaging, God forbid C-section, | 剪脐带的啦 防止出血的啦 剖腹产的啦 |
| [02:40] | that kind of stuff. | 这些东西 |
| [02:41] | Whoa, looks like there’s a lot of pages. | 看来有很多页啊 |
| [02:45] | Oh, don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [02:45] | Most likely we won’t even need those. | 我们很可能根本不需要这些 |
| [02:47] | Since we have a few hours till showtime, uh, you know, | 我们还有几个小时就要生产了 |
| [02:50] | anybody want any snacks or drinks? I’m taking orders. | 有人想要些吃的喝的吗 可以找我下订单 |
| [02:52] | Todd, what can I get for you? | 陶德 你要什么 |
| [02:53] | M-M… just water. | 我 我 水就好了 |
| [02:55] | One agua for the big guy. | 大块头要一杯水 |
| [02:56] | I can do sparkling, still, tap and toilet. | 有苏打水 河水 自来水和马桶水 |
| [02:58] | JK, there’s no tap. | 开玩笑啦 没有自来水 |
| [03:00] | You know, whatever’s fine. Thank you, but… | 随便什么都行 谢谢了 但是 |
| [03:01] | Toilet it is. | 那就马桶水 |
| [03:02] | Oh. Here comes another contraction. | 又一轮宫缩 |
| [03:05] | Oh, holy balls! | 我的老天啊 |
| [03:09] | Holy balls. | 天哪 |
| [03:11] | Okay, you know what, i’m just gonna go do… | 你知道吗 我要 |
| [03:14] | I’m just gonna go. | 我要先走了 |
| [03:15] | I just need to get out of here. | 我得出去透口气 |
| [03:20] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [03:37] | Remember when we first met in D.C. | 记得我们在华府的初遇吗 |
| [03:39] | and we thought we were the only people on the planet? | 我们还以为我们是地球上唯二活下来的人呢 |
| [03:43] | I never would have dreamed that one day | 我做梦也没想到有一天 |
| [03:45] | I’d be delivering your baby. | 我能给你的孩子接生 |
| [03:48] | Well, I always knew. | 我一直都知道 |
| [03:52] | Oh, oh, no more laughing. | 好了 我不笑了 |
| [03:53] | It hurts too much. Oh. | 太疼了 |
| [03:54] | Here, hon, have some water. | 给 亲爱的 喝点水 |
| [03:56] | Yeah, you got to stay hydrated. | 是啊 你得多喝水 |
| [04:05] | Okay, now, the stuff that I put up there on top | 好的 我给你加进去的水 |
| [04:07] | is a little bit cooler than what was already in there, | 比杯子里面原来的水更冷一些 |
| [04:10] | so I would give it a couple of minutes to settle. | 所以给它几分钟和其它水融合起来 |
| [04:18] | Should we put on some music or something? | 我们要放点音乐什么的吗 |
| [04:19] | Oh, that would be nice. | 那就太好了 |
| [04:21] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [04:22] | *When the going gets rough* | *艰难之路* |
| [04:26] | *The tough get rough* | *越来越难* |
| [04:29] | *And when the going gets rough* | *艰难之路* |
| [04:33] | *The tough get rough* | *越来越难* |
| [04:34] | I was thinking more spa music. | 我想听更疗愈一点的音乐 |
| [04:36] | Yeah, I think Melissa’s got some CDs. | 我记得梅丽莎有一些碟子 |
| [04:38] | – Yeah, that would be… – Sure. | -那很好 -好的 |
| [04:39] | *Let me sail, let me sail* | *让我远航 让我远航* |
| [04:41] | *Let the Orinoco flow* | *让奥里诺科河继续流淌* |
| [04:43] | *Let me reach, let me beach* | *让我到岸 让我停泊* |
| [04:45] | *On the shores of Tripoli* | *停泊在的黎波利的海岸* |
| [04:47] | *Sail away, sail away, sail away* | *远航 远航 远航* |
| [04:51] | *Just take a boat And sail away to Orinoco* | *乘船远去奥里诺科河* |
| [04:52] | Okay. Tandy. | 够了 坦迪 |
| [04:54] | We really could use a cold washcloth. | 我们需要一条冷毛巾 |
| [04:57] | Sure. Done and done. Yeah. | 没问题 我这就去 |
| [04:59] | What are we talking about coldwise? | 要多冷 |
| [05:01] | Like Alaskan glacier, summer breeze, uh, dank basement… | 阿拉斯加冰川 夏天的威风还是阴冷的地下室 |
| [05:05] | Whichever one’s farthest away. | 最远的那种冷 |
| [05:06] | That would be mountain stream, yeah. Oh. | 那就是山间泉水了 好的 |
| [05:07] | I think you’ll be very happy. | 我觉得你应该会很满意 |
| [05:09] | Oh, you’re gonna love this stuff. Yeah. | 你肯定会很喜欢的 |
| [05:13] | Breathe into it, sweetie. | 深呼吸 宝贝 |
| [05:15] | Just breathe into– focus on that | 深呼吸 你只要想着 |
| [05:17] | little miracle that you and Philip created. | 这是你和菲利普创造出来的奇迹 |
| [05:19] | Oh, Phil. | 菲尔 |
| [05:23] | I miss him. | 我想他了 |
| [05:24] | Yeah, we all do, but you know what? | 我们都想他 但你知道吗 |
| [05:26] | I know he’s watching over you, and he’s gonna help us today. | 他正在天上看着你 他今天会帮我们的 |
| [05:30] | He always did have a way of calming us down, didn’t he? | 他总是有办法让我们冷静下来 不是吗 |
| [05:37] | I know you can do this on your own. | 我知道你可以的 |
| [05:40] | Well, I’m off to get you guys what you need. | 我这就动身去给你们拿你们要的 |
| [05:43] | Wink, wink. | 眨眼 眨眼 |
| [05:45] | Why are you winking over a washcloth? | 拿个毛巾你眨个什么眼 |
| [05:47] | You’ll see. | 你马上就知道了 |
| [05:51] | Well, look at that. Todd’s water broke, huh? | 看呐 坦迪的水杯泼了[羊水破了] |
| [05:54] | Didn’t know you were pregnant. Boom. | 都不知道你也怀孕了 哈哈 |
| [05:57] | Water broke? I hardly knew her broke. Boom. | 羊水破了 我都不认识她 哈哈 |
| [05:59] | God, rich area. | 天哪 这个梗真是百用不厌 |
| [06:00] | Nobody walk around here. | 都没人涉足这一块儿 |
| [06:08] | Carol. | 卡萝尔 |
| [06:12] | Carol. | 卡萝尔 |
| [06:21] | What are you listening to? | 你在听什么呢 |
| [06:22] | The CD to which I am listening is called sounds of laughter. | 我听的这张碟叫笑声合集 |
| [06:27] | And it’s recordings of people laughing. | 这是人们笑声的录音 |
| [06:30] | This track is called | 这首名叫 |
| [06:31] | “Girls Night Out.” | 姑娘夜寻欢 |
| [06:33] | But my favorite is “Church Giggles.” | 但我最喜欢的是 教堂嬉笑 |
| [06:44] | So, did it happen? | 生了吗 |
| [06:46] | Not yet. | 还没 |
| [06:47] | It’s taking too long. | 这也太久了 |
| [06:48] | Something’s wrong. | 肯定出问题了 |
| [06:49] | Everything’s fine, Carol. | 没问题 卡萝尔 |
| [06:51] | Look, I was just trying to see | 听着 我只是想看看 |
| [06:52] | if Jasper could hang out with you. | 贾思博能不能和你待在一起 |
| [06:53] | I wanted to try to keep him away from the… | 我想让他远离… |
| [06:58] | You can hear it up here, too. | 在这里也能听到 |
| [06:59] | Did that sound normal to you? | 你觉得那个声音正常吗 |
| [07:02] | Yes. | 正常啊 |
| [07:03] | That sounded very normal, Carol. | 那个声音很正常 卡萝尔 |
| [07:05] | Is Erica gonna die? | 艾瑞卡会死吗 |
| [07:07] | Yes, I think so, Jasper. | 会 我觉得会 贾思博 |
| [07:09] | Carol! | 卡萝尔 |
| [07:11] | What? Did you not hear her? | 怎么了 你没听到吗 |
| [07:12] | If that didn’t sound like a death wail, | 那听起来不像死前悲鸣吗 |
| [07:14] | then I’m a paper clip. | 我又不傻 |
| [07:16] | Carol, can you try not to be so morbid around Jasper? | 卡萝尔 你能不在贾思博面前表现得这么恐怖吗 |
| [07:19] | How? Did you not see that list of things that could go wrong? | 我要怎么做 你没看到可能会出问题的那张表吗 |
| [07:22] | One of them was a prolapsed anus. | 其中一个是脱肛呢 |
| [07:24] | I did see that one. | 我看到了 |
| [07:25] | Um, Jasper, this isn’t gonna work out, either. Let’s go. | 贾思博 这里也不适合 我们走 |
| [07:29] | Carol, I’ll be back for you later. | 卡萝尔 我一会儿回来找你 |
| [07:32] | Try to stay calm. | 保持冷静 |
| [07:33] | I’m calm. | 我很冷静 |
| [07:34] | I’m cume as a calmcumber. | 我冷静得不得了 |
| [07:42] | What’s a prolapsed anus? | 脱肛是什么 |
| [07:44] | It’s when you poop your butt. | 就是你的屁股弹出来了 |
| [07:51] | Oh, I hate this. | 我不喜欢这样 |
| [07:54] | One washcloth, as requested, | 如你所需 一块毛巾 |
| [07:56] | courtesy of one | 由菲尔·米勒先生 |
| [07:58] | Mr. Phil Miller. | 倾情提供 |
| [07:59] | Oh, what are you doing? | 你这是干什么 |
| [08:02] | A little birdie named Tandy | 一位叫做坦迪的伙计 |
| [08:04] | told me that, uh, | 告诉我说 |
| [08:05] | you know, my presence had been requested. | 有人需要我的陪伴 |
| [08:07] | Oh, God! | 天哪 |
| [08:10] | He also told me | 他还告诉我 |
| [08:11] | that there might be a little tension in here, | 鉴于上次大家看到 |
| [08:12] | seeing as, uh, what had happened | 我躺在手术台上 |
| [08:14] | the last time we had seen each other– | 死在你面前什么的 |
| [08:16] | my death on the operating table at your presence and such. | 大家现在可能有点紧张 |
| [08:19] | Well, thank you for putting that in our heads. | 谢谢你让我们想起来 |
| [08:21] | I don’t blame you for anything, Gail. | 我不怪你 盖尔 |
| [08:23] | My tummy was all messed up. | 我的肚子一团乱 |
| [08:26] | And there’s nothing you could have done to save me. | 你已经回天乏术 |
| [08:29] | But look, things couldn’t be better up here in heaven. | 但听着 天堂里一切都好 |
| [08:32] | I took out the guitar, and I started jamming | 我拿出我的吉他 |
| [08:35] | with Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon, | 我和吉米·亨德里克斯约翰·列侬 |
| [08:37] | and Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, | 涅槃乐队的科特·柯本 |
| [08:40] | and Tony Levin, a wonderful | 还有托尼·莱文一起演奏音乐 |
| [08:41] | session bassist who’s worked with everyone | 托尼·莱文是个很棒的低音歌手 |
| [08:44] | from King Crimson to Mr. Sledgehammer himself, | 他和很多人合作过 克里姆森国王 大锤先生 |
| [08:47] | Pete Gabriel. | 还有彼得·盖布瑞尔 |
| [08:48] | Okay, are we winding this up soon? | 好了 能快点结束吗 |
| [08:50] | And, Todd… | 陶德 |
| [08:51] | Yeah, bud? | 怎么了 兄弟 |
| [08:53] | I couldn’t be happier that you offered to take my place | 你提议说要代替我做我孩子的父亲 |
| [08:56] | as the father of my child. | 我简直不能更开心 |
| [08:58] | You know, | 你知道的 |
| [08:59] | uh, Tandy was the logical choice, | 按道理说我应该选坦迪 |
| [09:01] | but, uh, you know, I was so jealous | 但你也知道 我太嫉妒了 |
| [09:02] | that he had gone back to my ex, Carol, | 我嫉妒他重新回到了我前女友卡萝尔的怀抱 |
| [09:06] | that I offered it to you. | 所以我只好选择你 |
| [09:07] | And I’ll do my best, uh, Phil. | 我会尽我所能的 菲尔 |
| [09:10] | Do what you can. | 你好好干 |
| [09:13] | And, Erica… | 还有 艾瑞卡 |
| [09:15] | No. | 不 |
| [09:15] | – …my little bloomin’ Funyun. – No. | -我的小可爱 -不 |
| [09:18] | I got a message for you from God. | 我替上帝给你带了句话 |
| [09:21] | He says, “I can’t wait to meet you…” | 他说 我迫不及待想见你了 |
| [09:25] | “…in a hundred damn years!” | 一百年后再说 |
| [09:27] | That voice is insulting. | 你这声音简直是侮辱人 |
| [09:28] | What? My voice is dead-on! | 什么 我学得可像了 |
| [09:30] | Tandy! Tandy, get out of here! | 坦迪 坦迪 滚出去 |
| [09:32] | Tandy, leave me alone. | 坦迪 别烦我 |
| [09:34] | Gas goes bad. Gas goes bad. Tandy! | 汽油过期了 汽油过期了 坦迪 |
| [09:37] | See, there it is. | 看吧 可像了 |
| [09:39] | – No. – Oh, my face! | -够了 -我的脸 |
| [09:41] | Hey, guys, Carol’s freaking out. | 大家听着 卡萝尔吓尿了 |
| [09:42] | She needs some company. | 有人得去陪着她 |
| [09:44] | Tandy, can you take Jasper to the park? | 坦迪 你能带贾思博去公园吗 |
| [09:46] | Yes. | 好的 |
| [09:47] | Uh, but what about the waters? | 那谁来倒水 |
| [09:49] | Really liking the park idea. | 我觉得公园不错 |
| [09:51] | Say no more, big guy. | 无需多言 大块头 |
| [09:53] | Jasper, you ready, child? | 贾思博 准备好了吗 孩子 |
| [09:54] | Don’t talk like that. | 别这样说话 |
| [09:56] | Oh. Uh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:10] | “Carol Andrew Pilbasian Miller, | 卡萝尔·安德鲁·菲尔贝森·米勒 |
| [10:10] | 讣告 卡萝尔·菲尔贝森 身亡 | |
| [10:11] | “Loving wife, devoted friend, died in childbirth | 挚爱的妻子 称职的朋友 在经历了 |
| [10:13] | after a torturous, protracted, bloody labor.” | 痛苦漫长又血腥的生产后 死于分娩途中 |
| [10:16] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [10:17] | You’re not writing a damn obituary. | 你不用写讣告 |
| [10:19] | Oh, no, newspapers do it in advance all the time. | 不 报纸总是提前准备好这些的 |
| [10:22] | No, I mean you have to stop fixating | 不 我是说你不能再这样 |
| [10:24] | on all the bad things that could happen. | 老想着可能发生的不好的事了 |
| [10:27] | Just give me a bloody epidural! | 快给我打无痛分娩针 |
| [10:29] | How can I stop fixating when all I can hear | 我听到的全是艾瑞卡在鬼门关前的 |
| [10:32] | is Erica playing didgeridoo on death’s doorstep? | 大大声呼喊 这让我怎么能不担心 |
| [10:35] | Look, I know it’s scary, | 我知道很吓人 |
| [10:37] | but that’s part of the package. | 但这是必须的 |
| [10:39] | You know, it’s like turbulence on an airplane. | 就像坐飞机时遇到紊流 |
| [10:42] | Nobody likes it, but it’s a fact of flying. | 虽然没人喜欢 但坐飞机就是这样 |
| [10:44] | Well, this turbulence has been lasting | 但是这次紊流持续了 |
| [10:46] | the whole ding-a-ling flight. | 整个飞行时间 |
| [10:47] | And I’m trying to ride it out, | 我尽力安然度过 |
| [10:49] | but the seat belt sign is on, | 但是安全带系紧了 |
| [10:51] | and I have to pee like a race course. | 而我特别想去撒尿 |
| [10:53] | And I’m trying to distract myself | 我想看看杂志 |
| [10:55] | by flipping through my Hemispheres magazine | 看看贾森·比格斯在埃尔帕索 |
| [10:57] | and checking out all of Jason Biggs’ | 最喜欢的牛排馆 |
| [10:58] | favorite steak houses in El Paso, | 分散自己的注意力 |
| [11:00] | but it’s not doing the trick, ’cause this plane’s a-rockin’, | 但是不管用 因为这架飞机摇摇摆摆 |
| [11:02] | and I’m a-gonna die in childbirth. | 我快死于生孩子了 |
| [11:08] | Carol, you and Erica are going through this together. | 卡萝尔 你要和艾瑞卡一起度过这一关 |
| [11:11] | So if you aren’t gonna be a “Devoted friend,” | 所以如果你不做好一个称职的朋友 |
| [11:15] | I think you got your obituary wrong. | 那我觉得你的讣告写错了 |
| [11:17] | So what do you say? | 你说呢 |
| [11:22] | Just try it. Just give me an epidural. | 快试试 给我打无痛分娩针 |
| [11:24] | Hey, you know I can’t do that. | 你知道我做不到 |
| [11:26] | It involves placing a needle next to your spine. | 需要在你的脊椎一边插针啊 |
| [11:28] | Just try! This has to stop. | 你试试 必须给我止痛 |
| [11:30] | It could paralyze you, hon, that’s the thing. | 打了有可能让你瘫痪 亲爱的 |
| [11:32] | I don’t care! I don’t want to feel anything ever again! | 我不管 我再也不想有任何感觉了 |
| [11:35] | Oh, here comes another one. | 又来了 |
| [11:37] | It’s okay. You got this. | 没事 你可以的 |
| [11:38] | There you go, come on. You got this. Just breathe. | 没事 你可以的 深呼吸 |
| [11:40] | Breathe, honey. You can’t hold your breath. | 深呼吸 亲爱的 你不能憋着气 |
| [11:42] | Come on, sweetie. | 加油 亲爱的 |
| [11:44] | Breathe. Breathe. There you go… | 深呼吸 就是这… |
| [11:45] | – Erica! Erica! Erica. – Erica, hon. Hey! | -艾瑞卡 -艾瑞卡 亲爱的 |
| [11:48] | Erica! Breathe! | 艾瑞卡 呼吸 |
| [11:49] | Erica, can you hear me? | 艾瑞卡 听到了吗 |
| [11:50] | – Hon, can you hear me? – Oh, my God. | -亲爱的 听到了吗 -天啊 |
| [11:56] | Erica? Erica, hon. Erica? Can you hear me? | 艾瑞卡 亲爱的 听到我说话了吗 |
| [11:59] | Oh, my God, did she pass? | 天啊 她晕过去了吗 |
| [12:00] | Hon, can you hear me? | 亲爱的 听到了吗 |
| [12:02] | Put her body in a peaceful position | 趁身体还没有死后僵硬 |
| [12:03] | before rigor mortis sets in. | 让她姿势舒服一点 |
| [12:05] | She just passed out. They know what they’re doing. | 她只是晕过去了 他们知道该怎么办 |
| [12:07] | What do we do?! What do we do?! | 该怎么办 怎么办 |
| [12:09] | Todd, we talked about this. | 陶德 我们说过了 |
| [12:11] | Don’t you freak out on me right now. | 你现在不要给我大惊小怪 |
| [12:13] | Gail, I’m trying not to freak out, | 盖尔 我尽量控制自己 |
| [12:14] | but I am freaking out, okay? | 但我真的很慌啊 |
| [12:15] | This is just like last time. | 这就跟上次一样 |
| [12:16] | It’s lack of oxygen. It’s just… | 是缺氧 是… |
| [12:18] | She’s hyperventilating. Smelling salts. | 她换气过度了 用嗅盐 |
| [12:20] | Okay, you guys go see if the smelling salts are over there. | 好 你们找找那边有没有嗅盐 |
| [12:23] | Oh, the day I don’t bring my salt purse! | 我就今天没带盐袋来 |
| [12:28] | Okay, found ’em. | 好 找到了 |
| [12:33] | Gracias al santo nino de atocha. | 谢天谢地感谢上苍 |
| [12:36] | What happened? | 怎么了 |
| [12:37] | You passed out just for a couple seconds, | 你晕过去了几秒 |
| [12:38] | – but we’re out of the woods now. – What? | -但现在没事了 -什么 |
| [12:39] | See? A little turbulence. | 看到没 就是点紊流 |
| [12:44] | – Okay. – Okay. | -好 -好 |
| [12:46] | – Um, Todd? – Yeah? | -陶德 -怎么了 |
| [12:48] | What is it? | 怎么了 |
| [12:49] | – What is it? – No, no. | -怎么了 -不不 |
| [12:50] | What is it?! | 到底怎么了 |
| [12:51] | You’re doing great. | 你做得很好 |
| [12:53] | You’re doing so good. | 你做得特别棒 |
| [12:54] | One second, okay? | 稍等一下好吗 |
| [12:55] | I’m so proud of you. I just… | 我很为你骄傲 我… |
| [12:57] | I’ve got to check one thing with you. | 我得跟你一起看个东西 |
| [12:59] | Yeah, okay, she needs me. | 好 她需要我 |
| [13:00] | So you-you just stay and breathe. | 你就保持呼吸 |
| [13:01] | – In through your nose, out through your mouth, okay? – Okay. | -鼻子吸气 嘴巴出气 好吗 -好 |
| [13:05] | Huh? | 什么 |
| [13:06] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [13:07] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:10] | Looks like we’re back in the woods. | 看来我们又重回危险了 |
| [13:13] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:20] | Breech. | 脚朝下 |
| [13:24] | Carol! | 卡萝尔 |
| [13:24] | “Things I can’t handle” for 400, Alex. | “无法处理的情况”之一 |
| [13:27] | Gail, Gail, are you sure it’s a breech? | 盖尔 盖尔 你确定是脚朝下吗 |
| [13:29] | Of course I’m freakin’ sure. | 我当然确定了 |
| [13:31] | I felt an ass. | 我感觉到了孩子的屁股 |
| [13:32] | Well, how do you know it was an ass? | 你怎么知道是屁股 |
| [13:33] | I know what a baby’s ass feels like, Todd. | 我知道婴儿的屁股是什么感觉 陶德 |
| [13:36] | Well, you did an ultrasound yesterday, | 昨天你给她做了超声波检查 |
| [13:37] | you said the baby was in position. | 你说孩子位置没问题 |
| [13:39] | That was yesterday. | 那是昨天 |
| [13:40] | Well, why did it change? | 那为什么变了 |
| [13:41] | I don’t frickin’ know. | 我他么怎么知道 |
| [13:43] | You think somebody puts some blue scrubs on me, | 你以为我穿个白大褂 |
| [13:45] | that makes me a doctor? | 就真成医生了吗 |
| [13:46] | Okay, what do we do now? | 那现在怎么办 |
| [13:48] | What’s happening? Is something wrong? | 怎么了 出什么事了吗 |
| [13:50] | Oh, you’re doing so good! | 你做得很好 |
| [13:50] | Oh, you look amazing. | 你看上去好极了 |
| [13:52] | I mean, you’re absolutely glowing. | 你简直光彩照人 |
| [13:52] | Remember, don’t sweat the small stuff, and it is all small stuff. | 记住 不要纠结小事 这是小事 |
| [13:55] | What she said, absolutely. | 她说得对 |
| [13:56] | So proud of you. Good, good, good. | 特别为你骄傲 很好很好 |
| [13:58] | What’s the book say? | 书上怎么说 |
| [13:59] | A million different things. Oh, Lord… | 说了超级多 天啊 |
| [14:01] | Hey! Do you know what went wrong with Phil? | 你知道菲尔是哪里的问题吗 |
| [14:04] | Yeah, I couldn’t stop the bleeding. | 知道 无法止血 |
| [14:06] | Bleeding couldn’t be stopped. | 出血是止不住的 |
| [14:07] | But what went wrong was that we made you think | 但问题是我们让你们认为 |
| [14:09] | that you two had to stop it alone. | 你们二人要孤军奋战 |
| [14:11] | And I’m not gonna let that happen again. | 我不会让那种事再发生了 |
| [14:14] | Now show me what the book says. | 告诉我书上怎么说 |
| [14:20] | Okay, so all you have to do | 你只要把睡袋上 |
| [14:21] | is coat the sleeping bag in vegetable oil, | 全撒上菜籽油 |
| [14:24] | and then use it like a magic carpet down the slide. | 然后当做魔毯滑下去就好了 |
| [14:26] | Like this? | 这样吗 |
| [14:29] | Let me help you out. | 我来帮忙 |
| [14:31] | See, in the oil-sliding game, | 添油滑行游戏里 |
| [14:32] | you never skimp on the glug-glug. | 一定要好好地添油 |
| [14:35] | Now, isn’t this more fun than hanging out at home | 这是不是比在家里听他们大喊大叫 |
| [14:37] | with all that yelling and screaming? | 好玩多了 |
| [14:39] | They just didn’t want you around. | 他们只是不想让你在边上 |
| [14:41] | Didn’t want me around. | 不想让我在边上 |
| [14:43] | What do you say we hit that slide? | 你为什么非要戳穿呢 |
| [14:45] | I’m just sad that Erica’s gonna die. | 我很难过 艾瑞卡要死了 |
| [14:48] | Wait, what? | 慢着 什么 |
| [14:50] | Wait, Jasper, she’s not gonna die. | 贾思博 她不会死的 |
| [14:53] | Hey, childbirth is easy. | 生孩子很容易 |
| [14:55] | That’s why I let Gail and Todd take that. | 所以我才让盖尔和陶德负责 |
| [14:58] | Heck, you have more of a chance of dying on this slide | 你玩这个死的概率 |
| [15:00] | than Erica has of dying in childbirth. | 比艾瑞卡生孩子死的概率都大 |
| [15:03] | Okay, see you at the bottom. | 好 我们另一端见 |
| [15:09] | It’s breech? | 孩子脚朝下 |
| [15:10] | Hey, Erica. It’s okay. | 艾瑞卡 没事的 |
| [15:12] | We’re just gonna take this one step at a time. | 我们只需要一步一个脚印来 |
| [15:15] | First thing we need to do is turn the baby over. | 首先我们需要把孩子调过来 |
| [15:17] | So, how do we do that, Gail? | 怎么做 盖尔 |
| [15:18] | Okay, you each need to take a leg, | 你们每人抓住一条腿 |
| [15:20] | and I’ll tell you what to do after that. | 之后我再告诉你们怎么做 |
| [15:26] | I’m scared. | 我好怕 |
| [15:27] | We’re here, okay? | 有我们在 |
| [15:34] | “Carol Andrew Pilbasian Miller has died. | 卡萝尔·安德鲁·菲尔贝森·米勒死了 |
| [15:37] | “She was remembered as a survivor of the virus, | 她是肆虐全球病毒的幸存者 |
| [15:39] | a master bedazzler…” | 手工高手 |
| [15:42] | What else? | 还有什么 |
| [15:43] | God, make it stop! | 天啊 快止痛 |
| [15:47] | And a big fat coward. | 还是个大大的胆小鬼 |
| [15:59] | Let’s do that again. | 再来一遍 |
| [16:01] | Now, Jasper, I did a little thinkeroo on my slide, | 贾思博 我滑行的时候思考了一下 |
| [16:04] | and I just want to boomerang | 如果可以 我想 |
| [16:05] | back to the Erica of it all, if I may. | 回去艾瑞卡生产的现场 |
| [16:10] | Now, look, bud, | 听我说 伙计 |
| [16:11] | she’s not dying. | 她不是快死了 |
| [16:13] | See, babies are quite large, | 婴儿是很大的 |
| [16:15] | but the openings they come out of are quite small. | 但是他们的出口很小 |
| [16:18] | It’s a design flaw. | 这是设计缺陷 |
| [16:20] | Uh, so what you were hearing was just totally natural. | 所以你听到的都很正常 |
| [16:23] | Erica’s baby had been sitting in her stomach | 艾瑞卡的孩子在她的肚子里 |
| [16:25] | for, like, nine months, | 大概待了九个月 |
| [16:26] | you know, eating her poo and drinking her pee. | 吃她的屎 喝她的尿 |
| [16:29] | And, like most nine-month-old fetuses, you know, | 就跟大多数九个月大的胎儿一样 |
| [16:31] | they start looking for a lifestyle | 他们开始想换一个 |
| [16:33] | that was a little less gross. | 不是那么恶心的生活方式 |
| [16:35] | So, they decide, very obviously, | 所以很显然 他们决定 |
| [16:36] | to move to the outside world. | 搬到外部世界中来 |
| [16:38] | And the screaming you were hearing from Erica | 你听到艾瑞卡大喊 |
| [16:40] | was just, you know, the baby | 其实只是婴儿 |
| [16:42] | winding its way through her intestines. | 在她的肠子里移动 |
| [16:45] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [16:47] | So, why’d you think she was dying? | 你为什么觉得她要死了 |
| [16:49] | Because everyone I meet dies. | 因为我认识的人都死了 |
| [16:52] | Oh, that’s not true. | 不是的 |
| [16:54] | I mean, you know, I can see why you would think that. | 我知道你为什么那么想 |
| [16:57] | I used to think that, but it’s not. | 我也那么想过 但其实不是的 |
| [17:01] | Look, Todd, Gail, Carol, | 陶德 盖尔 卡萝尔 |
| [17:03] | Erica, Melissa, you and me? | 艾瑞卡 梅丽莎 还有你我 |
| [17:06] | We’re made from something different. | 我们生来就与众不同 |
| [17:07] | Something that keeps us going that other people didn’t have. | 所以我们才能活下来 而别人没有 |
| [17:10] | And it’s gonna keep us going for a long, long time. | 我们还会继续活好久好久 |
| [17:13] | So, don’t you worry. | 所以你不要担心 |
| [17:14] | None of us are dying any time soon. | 近期我们谁都不会死的 |
| [17:17] | That’s right. | 没错 |
| [17:18] | Everything is gonna be just… | 一切都不会… |
| [17:27] | …fine? | 有事 |
| [17:35] | Okay, Melissa, you just– | 梅丽莎 你… |
| [17:36] | – you got to hold those legs. – Okay. | -你得抓住腿 -好 |
| [17:38] | What’s happening? | 到底怎么了 |
| [17:39] | It’s okay, sweetie, but we just got a stubborn little baby here | 没事 亲爱的 就是这孩子有点倔 |
| [17:42] | that doesn’t want to get into place. | 不愿意摆好姿势 |
| [17:44] | You really got to hold both… | 两条腿都得抓紧 |
| [17:46] | It’s hard for me to try– | 这样就很难了 |
| [17:47] | I can’t do both. Todd, can you grab the other leg? | 我无法抓住两条 陶德 你能抓住另一条吗 |
| [17:49] | I’m on belly here. I can’t, all right? | 我在负责肚子 我不能抓住她的腿 |
| [17:51] | Okay, well, where the hell is Carol? | 好吧 卡萝尔去哪里了 |
| [17:52] | We really could use another set of hands here. | 现在我们真的需要另一个人帮忙 |
| [17:55] | She’s too busy pussing out. | 她在忙着害怕 |
| [17:58] | Or is she too busy pussing in? | 还是她在忙着来帮忙 |
| [18:03] | Give me a leg. | 给我一条腿 |
| [18:05] | – Thank you, Carol. – Yeah. | -谢谢 卡萝尔 -没事 |
| [18:07] | Todd, I need you to apply just firm pressure | 陶德 我需要你在这里 |
| [18:09] | – right here. – Okay. | -用力 -好 |
| [18:11] | And we’re-we’re just gonna flip this little sucker, okay? | 我们要把这个小家伙调个头 |
| [18:13] | Okay, you got it. | 好 没问题 |
| [18:14] | Just coax and cajole. | 慢慢调过来 |
| [18:16] | Coax and cajole. | 慢慢调过来 |
| [18:17] | Coax and cajole. | 慢慢调过来 |
| [18:19] | Ah, I got this. | 我知道了 |
| [18:21] | Hey, little stinker. | 小家伙 |
| [18:22] | I got a present for you out here, | 我给你准备了礼物 |
| [18:24] | but it’s only for born people. Huh? | 但只有出生后才能拿到 |
| [18:27] | It’s kind of a Born Ultimatum. | 有点像”最后生谍” |
| [18:29] | That’s kind of fun. | 真好玩 |
| [18:31] | Is it gonna bug you guys | 如果我进行现场评论 |
| [18:32] | if I do some off-kilter commentary? | 你们不会介意吧 |
| [18:34] | You just do you, Carol. | 你说你的 卡萝尔 |
| [18:36] | But just remember to hold that leg. | 只要抓紧她的腿就行 |
| [18:38] | – Okay, come on, Todd. – Yeah. | -来 陶德 -好 |
| [18:40] | – Firm pressure, right there. – Copy that. | -这里用力 -好 |
| [18:42] | – Yeah. – What if instead of physical pressure, | -好 -如果不是实际用力 |
| [18:43] | Todd did verbal pressure? | 而是口头压力呢 |
| [18:45] | Like, “Hey, 20 seconds on the clock!” | 比如”就还有20秒了” |
| [18:47] | And then Todd was all like… | 然后陶德就… |
| [18:49] | Are you guys still enjoying this? | 你们还想听吗 |
| [18:50] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [18:51] | Oh, my God, we did it. | 天啊 我们做到了 |
| [18:52] | The baby’s head’s in place! | 婴儿的头位置好了 |
| [18:54] | Yes! Yeah, yes! Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [18:57] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [18:59] | Okay, Erica… | 好了 艾瑞卡 |
| [19:02] | …it’s go time. | 关键时刻来了 |
| [19:30] | What is this place? | 这是什么地方 |
| [19:34] | Okay, Erica. | 好 艾瑞卡 |
| [19:36] | You are so close. Okay, on this next push, | 就快好了 下一次用力 |
| [19:39] | give it everything you got. | 要使出全力 |
| [19:40] | Okay. Okay, here it comes, here it comes. | 好 来了 来了 |
| [19:45] | You’re doing so good, Erica. | 你做得很好 艾瑞卡 |
| [19:48] | Oh, my God, I can see the head. | 天啊 我看到头了 |
| [19:50] | It’s got hair. | 头上有头发 |
| [19:52] | I don’t why that’s getting to me, but it is. | 我不知道为什么 就是很想哭 |
| [19:56] | She comes. | 好了 |
| [19:58] | It’s a girl! | 是个女孩 |
| [20:01] | I got it, I got it, I got it! | 好了好了 |
| [20:04] | A girl. | 一个女孩 |
| [20:07] | You did it, Erica. | 你做到了 艾瑞卡 |
| [20:08] | It’s just too much! | 太感动了 |
| [20:11] | She is so beautiful. | 她好漂亮 |
| [20:26] | What are you gonna call her? | 你要给她取什么名字 |
| [20:27] | And keep in mind, you promised not to use the name Bezequeel. | 记住 你说过不会叫她贝丝奎尔 |
| [20:31] | I was thinking… Dawn. | 我想叫她…多恩 |
| [20:35] | Because it’s the dawn of a new day. | 因为这是新一天的黎明 |
| [20:39] | It really is. | 确实是 |
| [21:06] | Oh, farts. | 糟了 |