| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:19] | I’m a cannibal. | 我是个食人者 |
| [00:20] | I’m going to get Jasper. | 我要去找贾思博 |
| [00:21] | You knew where Jasper was this whole time? | 你一直都知道贾思博在哪里吗 |
| [00:23] | You know what you need to do. | 你们知道需要怎么做 |
| [00:24] | We have to kill him. | 我们要杀了他 |
| [00:25] | I took the liberty of cutting up some straws. | 我建议抽签 |
| [00:28] | Got it! | 搞定 |
| [00:29] | I can’t do… | 我做不到… |
| [00:43] | So? | 怎么样 |
| [00:46] | I did it. | 我做到了 |
| [00:47] | You killed him? | 你杀了他 |
| [00:49] | Oh, yeah. | 没错 |
| [00:50] | I don’t even remember pulling the trigger. | 我都不记得我扣了扳机 |
| [00:52] | I mean, my back was still to him, you know? | 我还背对着他 好吗 |
| [00:55] | And then I heard a popping sound. | 然后我听到一声炸响 |
| [00:57] | Uh, the gun must have just discharged early. | 枪肯定提早泄了 |
| [01:01] | Your gun discharged early? | 你的枪提早泄了 |
| [01:02] | Gail, this is not the time for a hurtful sexual joke. | 盖尔 现在不是说讽刺黄腔的时候 |
| [01:06] | We’re talking about a man’s life here. | 我们说的是一个人的命 |
| [01:08] | And Carol and I have been working through that problem. | 卡萝尔和我也一直在为这个问题努力 |
| [01:11] | – Yeah. – Anyway… | -没错 -不管怎么样 |
| [01:12] | – So you weren’t even aiming at him? – Yeah. | -所以你甚至都没瞄准他吗 -没错 |
| [01:14] | But, I mean, it must have ricocheted off something | 但是肯定是弹到什么东西上 |
| [01:16] | and hit him, ’cause when I turned around, | 打中了他 因为我回头后发现 |
| [01:18] | he was majorly dead. | 他已经死翘翘了 |
| [01:20] | You know, lower body still relatively intact. | 下半身还是完整的 |
| [01:23] | Upper body just went full Houdini on me, though. | 上半身已经完全不见了 |
| [01:26] | You know, just disappeared. Not there anymore. | 消失了 再也没了 |
| [01:29] | Oh, you’re… | 你… |
| [01:30] | You’re telling me. I mean, the whole room looks | 你还说呢 整个房间就像是 |
| [01:32] | like a Thanksgiving toilet after a turkey recall. | 火鸡大餐后的感恩节厕所 |
| [01:34] | Just spattered. Warped. | 溅得满墙都是 |
| [01:37] | – Gross. – Well, it just doesn’t add up. | -真恶心 -这说不通啊 |
| [01:40] | Look, maybe it’ll help | 也许我可以通过 |
| [01:41] | if I take you through an improvised recreation of the events. | 即兴发挥场景重现来帮助你们理解 |
| [01:44] | So, obviously, I opened | 当然了 我先进行了 |
| [01:45] | with your standard vase-based practice shot. | 标准花瓶练习射击 |
| [01:49] | Then, from the other room, I heard Carol say… | 然后我听到卡萝尔在隔壁说… |
| [01:52] | “Is it over?” | “结束了吗” |
| [01:53] | – Is it over? – To which I replied… | -结束了吗 -于是我说 |
| [01:56] | “Practice shot. Doing it now.” | “只是练习 正准备做” |
| [01:59] | And then a poignant final good-bye. | 经过深刻的最终告别以后 |
| [02:01] | And then I counted off ten paces. | 我数了十步 |
| [02:05] | One, | 一 |
| [02:06] | two, | 二 |
| [02:08] | three, | 三 |
| [02:10] | four, blah, blah, blah… | 四… |
| [02:12] | Yeah. | 好吧 |
| [02:13] | Six, | 六 |
| [02:15] | seven, | 七 |
| [02:16] | eight, nine, | 八 九 |
| [02:19] | ten. | 十 |
| [02:21] | Gun went off. | 拔枪 |
| [02:24] | Thanksgiving toilet. | 感恩节厕所 |
| [02:27] | Maybe it’ll make more sense if we go to the actual room. | 也许你们直接去看看就懂了 |
| [02:29] | Come on. | 走吧 |
| [02:31] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [02:33] | No, we’ll take your word for it. Thank you. | 不 我们信你 谢了 |
| [02:38] | I killed him. | 我杀了他 |
| [02:48] | *Hungry eyes* | *渴望的眼睛* |
| [02:52] | *I see the magic between you and I* | *我看到了你我之间的魔力* |
| [02:58] | *Hungry eyes* | *渴望的眼睛* |
| [03:03] | A fitting tribute. | 最好的致敬 |
| [03:05] | We’re gathered here today to lay rest to most of Karl. | 我们聚在这里是为了哀悼卡尔 |
| [03:09] | As we all know, he was a very complex person. | 我们都知道 他是个很复杂的人 |
| [03:12] | So we bury him in two separate caskets | 所以我们将他安置在两副棺材中 |
| [03:15] | as a symbol of the two starkly contrasting sides of his personality. | 标志着他个性中截然相反的两面 |
| [03:20] | One of those sides was solid, kinda together. | 其中一面完好无缺 |
| [03:25] | The other side was just a friggin’ mess, | 另一面则是一团糟 |
| [03:27] | yeah, as represented by this loose bag of human bric-a-brac | 由这一小包我们从床帘 |
| [03:31] | that we cobbled together off the curtains | 地毯和地板上 |
| [03:33] | and rugs and floors and such. | 刮下来的人肉代替 |
| [03:36] | Karl, we send you our thoughts | 卡尔 在你尖叫挣扎着 |
| [03:37] | and prayers as you hurtle, screaming, | 通往地狱的路上 |
| [03:40] | on your terrifying journey to Hell. | 我们祝福你 |
| [03:42] | Heck, you’re probably chewing on Bill Cosby’s | 天啊 你可能正在吃比尔·科斯比的 |
| [03:45] | gallbladder right now, | 胆囊 |
| [03:47] | washing it down with a warm cup of diarrhea. | 用一杯温暖的泻药冲下去 |
| [03:50] | I don’t know much about cannibalism. | 我对食人者了解不多 |
| [03:52] | I assume that’s how it works. | 应该就是这么吃的吧 |
| [03:54] | Back to the matter at hand. | 回到正事上来 |
| [03:55] | Lucifer, it’s me again. | 路西法 又是我 |
| [03:58] | Please take care of our Karl. | 请照顾好我们的卡尔 |
| [04:01] | He was a gentle killer | 他是个温柔的凶手 |
| [04:02] | who, uh, tried very hard not to eat his friends. | 很努力地不想吃掉自己的朋友 |
| [04:06] | Upside-down amen. | 反向阿门 |
| [04:09] | Now, is there anything that anybody’d like to say about Karl? | 还有谁想和卡尔说什么吗 |
| [04:15] | Karl, | 卡尔 |
| [04:17] | in case you need a snack on your unholy journey, | 万一你在你的堕落之旅上需要吃的 |
| [04:20] | I collected some of Tandy’s dandruff and foot skin flakes. | 我收集了一些坦迪的头皮屑和脚皮 |
| [04:25] | I sprinkle them over you now. | 我把它们撒在你身上 |
| [04:43] | I’m sorry you had to die. | 很抱歉你得死 |
| [04:46] | Um, but you are a people eater, | 但是你是个吃人的人 |
| [04:48] | and I couldn’t risk you eating my baby. | 我不能冒险让你吃了我的宝宝 |
| [04:50] | Well said, Erica. | 说得好 艾瑞卡 |
| [04:52] | That job belongs to dingoes. | 那是澳洲野狗会干的事 |
| [04:54] | National tragedy, but… it’s fine. | 国家悲剧 不过…没关系 |
| [04:57] | Anybody else? | 还有人吗 |
| [05:00] | I’d like to say a few words. | 我想说几句 |
| [05:04] | I’ve been thinking. | 我一直在想 |
| [05:07] | For the first time since the virus took our world away, | 自从病毒夺走了我们世界以来 这是第一次 |
| [05:12] | I’ve been really happy. | 我感到很高兴 |
| [05:14] | Like happy to the point | 高兴到 |
| [05:16] | that I almost forgot what life was like | 我甚至到忘了以前还有人的时候 |
| [05:18] | when there were people around. | 生活是怎么样的 |
| [05:20] | But then Karl came, | 但是然后卡尔来了 |
| [05:22] | and he threatened to take all of that away from me. | 他威胁要夺走这一切 |
| [05:25] | So I just want to say, | 所以我只想说 |
| [05:28] | thank you, Tandy. | 谢谢你 坦迪 |
| [05:30] | You were right about Karl, | 你对卡尔的看法是对的 |
| [05:32] | and I was too stubborn to see it. | 我太固执了 没看清楚 |
| [05:34] | And I just want you to know | 我只是希望你知道 |
| [05:36] | that we all owe you a debt of gratitude, | 我们都欠你一份情 |
| [05:40] | and that will not soon be forgotten. | 绝对不会轻易忘记的 |
| [05:44] | Oh, and, you know, I just also want to say | 我只是还想说 |
| [05:47] | that it’s really refreshing to see you listen to me | 很少看到你会听我说话 |
| [05:50] | and not have to just jump right in and toot your own horn | 而不是直接自顾自说你自己的 |
| [05:54] | or do that dumb little nose laugh thing you do. | 或者发出你那种鼻音笑 |
| [05:58] | I don’t do that. | 我才不会这么做 |
| [06:00] | Oh, you do. Y’all just do your Tandy. | 你会的 你会做你的坦迪标准式笑 |
| [06:06] | What? | 什么 |
| [06:07] | You’ve really changed. | 你真的变了 |
| [06:10] | So, keep it up. | 所以 继续下去吧 |
| [06:14] | I don’t know what to say. I, uh… | 我不知道该说什么 我… |
| [06:18] | Let’s see what else I have here. Uh… | 看看我还准备了什么 |
| [06:25] | Wouldn’t you know it, | 你们知道吗 |
| [06:26] | on every single card, it just says, | 每张卡片上都只写了 |
| [06:29] | “Hey, you guys are the heroes. | “你们才是英雄 |
| [06:32] | “I’m just a mirror | “我只是一面镜子 |
| [06:33] | reflecting your heroism.” | 反映出你们的英勇 |
| [06:36] | That’s what they all say. You can read it. | 上面就写了这些 你们可以看看 |
| [06:39] | *Amazing grace* | *奇异恩典* |
| [06:43] | *How sweet the sound* | *如此甘甜* |
| [06:48] | *That saved a wretch* | *我等罪人* |
| [06:52] | *Like him and him* | *竟蒙赦免* |
| [07:00] | Oh my God! | 天啊 |
| [07:01] | Oh, Carol. I mean, | 卡萝尔 |
| [07:03] | you saw it. She was, like, gushing with praise. | 你也看到了 她在疯狂地赞美我 |
| [07:05] | – Oh, she absolutely was. – And I was just frozen. | -绝对没错 -我都吓傻了 |
| [07:08] | I couldn’t believe it. I was like… | 我简直不敢相信 我就这样… |
| [07:12] | I mean, you saw it. | 我是说你也看到了 |
| [07:13] | I did. I was taken aback. | 没错 我被吓了一跳 |
| [07:15] | I was taken several backs. | 我被吓了好几跳 |
| [07:16] | I was like this… | 我就这样… |
| [07:18] | I saw you. | 我看到了 |
| [07:20] | But I couldn’t move. It was like… | 但我动不了 我就这样… |
| [07:22] | And I was like… | 我就这样… |
| [07:24] | I can’t do it. | 我受不了了 |
| [07:26] | I can’t move. | 我动不了 |
| [07:32] | Tandy, | 坦迪 |
| [07:33] | this is a huge breakthrough. | 这是个巨大的突破 |
| [07:37] | I don’t know about that, Care Bear. | 我不知道 小萝萝 |
| [07:38] | I-I mean, obviously, | 我是说显然 |
| [07:39] | the rest of the group really admires me, but… | 其他人都很喜欢我 但是… |
| [07:41] | Understatement of the century. | 这也太轻描淡写了 |
| [07:43] | But for Gail… | 但是盖尔… |
| [07:45] | you know, I think it’s still just, like, a very deep respect. | 我觉得还是 很深的敬意吧 |
| [07:48] | But, hey, I mean, that’s not nothing. | 但是 我是说那不算什么 |
| [07:50] | Maybe it could be not not nothing. | 可能可以不不算什么 |
| [07:53] | You mean… something? | 你是说…算什么 |
| [07:55] | You keep this up, | 你继续这样 |
| [07:57] | Gail’s gonna go from being your mother-in-law | 盖尔就会从你的丈母娘 |
| [07:59] | to a mother-in-awe. | 变姨母粉丝 |
| [08:01] | And that would be great, | 那样很好 |
| [08:03] | but that’s not what this is about, Carol. | 但我不是这个意思 卡萝尔 |
| [08:06] | This is about me being the best Tandy I can be | 只是因为我变成了最好的样子 |
| [08:09] | for no other reason than it just feels really good. | 这感觉非常棒 |
| [08:13] | Carol, what’s happening to me? | 卡萝尔 我到底怎么了 |
| [08:15] | You killed a man. | 你杀了一个人 |
| [08:17] | I should murder people more often. | 我应该多杀点人 |
| [08:22] | And there we go. | 好了 |
| [08:23] | Come on, Todd. | 拜托 陶德 |
| [08:24] | Just ’cause we’re in a little fight | 就因为我们吵了一小架 |
| [08:25] | doesn’t mean you need to sleep out here. | 你也不用睡在这里 |
| [08:27] | Oh, this isn’t for me. This is for you. | 这不是给我准备的 这是给你的 |
| [08:29] | It’s the liar’s couch. | 这是骗子的沙发 |
| [08:33] | That’s a chair. | 这是一张椅子 |
| [08:33] | Congratulations. | 恭喜你 |
| [08:35] | Now you know what it feels like to be lied to. | 现在你知道被骗的感受了 |
| [08:37] | Fine, Todd. | 好吧 陶德 |
| [08:39] | I am sorry I didn’t tell you about Jasper. | 我很抱歉我没告诉你贾思博的事 |
| [08:41] | Oh, she’s sorry. | 她很抱歉 |
| [08:43] | I made a promise to him. | 我向他保证过 |
| [08:44] | Y-you knew I was out there looking for him, worried sick. | 你知道我一直在出去找他 急疯了 |
| [08:47] | I mean, when were you planning on letting me know? | 你本来准备什么时候告诉我 |
| [08:49] | Do you think I wanted to be in this position? | 你以为我想处于这种境地吗 |
| [08:51] | Lying to everyone? | 向大家撒谎 |
| [08:53] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [08:53] | All I was trying to do was to make sure | 我只是想确保 |
| [08:55] | that nine-to-11-year-old little boy had a lifeline | 一个九十岁的孩子能过自己想要的生活 |
| [08:57] | so that we didn’t lose him altogether. | 我们不会永远失去他 |
| [09:01] | I made a promise. | 我保证过的 |
| [09:03] | I know, and I’m-I’m… | 我知道 我… |
| [09:05] | Geez, I’m sorry. | 天啊 我很抱歉 |
| [09:07] | Really, I’m-I’m sorry. | 真的 我…我很抱歉 |
| [09:09] | I’m sorry, too. | 我也很抱歉 |
| [09:13] | Well, I’m glad we settled that. | 很高兴我们说开了 |
| [09:16] | So, where is he? | 那他在哪里 |
| [09:18] | – Todd. – What? | -陶德 -什么 |
| [09:20] | You know I can’t tell you that. | 你知道我不能告诉你 |
| [09:21] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [09:22] | We just went over this! | 我们刚刚不是说过了 |
| [09:24] | Well, then I bid you good night! | 那我祝你晚安 |
| [09:26] | Okay? Sweet nightmares! | 好吗 做个好噩梦 |
| [09:28] | Enjoy your chair bed! | 好好享受你的椅床 |
| [09:31] | Ridiculous. | 不可理喻 |
| [09:39] | What’s going on in here? | 怎么回事 |
| [09:42] | Eh, just doing a little cleanup. | 只是打扫一下 |
| [09:43] | You cleaned up this whole room? | 你打扫了这个房间吗 |
| [09:45] | Well, I had a little help from Senor Clean. | 绅士清洁剂帮了我不少 |
| [09:48] | Tandy Miller, what’s gotten into you? | 坦迪·米勒 你这是怎么了 |
| [09:51] | It looks like the Tandy-man has become the handyman. | 看起来坦迪变成小能手了 |
| [09:55] | Hey, gals. Come on, cut it out. | 姑娘们 别这样 |
| [09:57] | We all would have done the same thing. | 换做你们也会这么做的 |
| [09:59] | – It’s no big deal. – Wait. | -没什么大不了的 -等等 |
| [10:01] | Did you just say “No big deal” | 你刚刚说”没什么大不了” |
| [10:04] | instead of saying “NBD” | 而不是”没什大” |
| [10:06] | or “Nizzle bizzle dizzy”? | 或者”没什么啦” |
| [10:08] | Fresh pot of coffee on the table. | 桌上有刚泡好的咖啡 |
| [10:10] | Help yourself. | 请便 |
| [10:16] | Um, Tandy, | 坦迪 |
| [10:18] | do we have any creamer? | 有奶油吗 |
| [10:20] | Creamer? | 奶油 |
| [10:22] | No, I don’t think that we do, no. | 好像没有 |
| [10:24] | Wait, Tandy. Come on. Really listen to me. | 等待 坦迪 你好好听我说 |
| [10:28] | Do we have any cream… her? | 我们有”奶…油”吗 |
| [10:32] | Sorry, no. | 抱歉 没有 |
| [10:33] | I can pop out to the store. | 我可以去商店拿 |
| [10:35] | Come on, Tandy. You know what she’s saying. | 拜托 坦迪 你知道她是什么意思 |
| [10:37] | Gail, set me up. | 盖尔 跟我来 |
| [10:38] | Erica, do we have any creamer? | 艾瑞卡 有奶油吗 |
| [10:39] | Creamer? I hardly knew her. Boom! Doy, duh. | 奶油 我不认识她 哈哈 |
| [10:44] | That’s very funny. | 真有意思 |
| [10:45] | But, look, I should probably just keep focused | 但我应该继续 |
| [10:47] | on the task at hand. | 打扫了 |
| [10:49] | Oh, Gail, can you pass me that cleaner-no-further-comment? | 盖尔 你能把”别再闲扯清洁工具”给我吗 |
| [10:56] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [11:07] | You’re going to see him, aren’t you? | 你要去找他 是吗 |
| [11:10] | You scared me. | 你吓到我了 |
| [11:11] | Oh. You were scared? | 你被吓到了吗 |
| [11:13] | In the… in the comfort of your own home? | 在舒适的自己的家里 |
| [11:16] | I wonder how a boy alone in the woods feels. | 真不知道一个小男孩独自在树林是会是怎样 |
| [11:19] | Todd, it’s 11:00 a.m. What are you drinking? | 陶德 现在才上午十一点 你在喝什么 |
| [11:20] | Well, I wish it was poison. | 我真希望是毒药 |
| [11:24] | But if you must know, it’s Bud Light Lime, rocks. | 但如果你非要知道 这是加冰柠檬淡啤 |
| [11:27] | And I’m already two deep. | 已经喝了两杯了 |
| [11:33] | I’m coming with you. | 我要跟你一起去 |
| [11:35] | We talked about this. | 我们说过了 |
| [11:35] | Melissa, look, this craziness has gone on long enough. | 梅丽莎 这种疯狂持续时间够久了 |
| [11:38] | I’m coming with you. I’m not taking no for an answer. | 我要跟你一起去 我不接受拒绝 |
| [11:41] | – No. – Fine! | -不行 -那好 |
| [12:00] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [12:01] | Well, uh, people have been complaining | 最近有人抱怨 |
| [12:03] | about the dirty diaper pile, | 尿不湿成山了 |
| [12:04] | so I decided to do something about it. | 所以我决定采取点措施 |
| [12:07] | And balloons is your answer? | 措施就是用气球吗 |
| [12:08] | That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. | 没见过这么蠢的行为 |
| [12:10] | I don’t know. It smells better already. | 不一定 我觉得空气清新多了 |
| [12:13] | Looks kind of fun. | 看起来很有趣 |
| [12:14] | I’m on board. | 我赞成 |
| [12:15] | Thanks, G Spot. | 谢谢 G点 |
| [12:16] | G Spot? | G点 |
| [12:18] | Tandy Miller, do you know | 坦迪·米勒 你知道 |
| [12:20] | they used to call me that in high school? | 高中的时候大家都这么叫我吗 |
| [12:22] | What? Two years ago? | 什么 那是两年前吗 |
| [12:24] | Now, you’re gonna make me blush. | 你都要让我脸红了 |
| [12:28] | Hey, where you going with that cooler, hon? | 你拿那个冷藏盒去哪里 |
| [12:30] | Gail, you know exactly where I’m going. | 盖尔 你明知故问 |
| [12:31] | So, if you want to give me any crap, just save it. | 如果你想跟我鬼扯什么 那就省省吧 |
| [12:34] | Melissa? | 梅丽莎 |
| [12:35] | What? | 干什么 |
| [12:36] | Go to him. | 去找他吧 |
| [12:44] | G Spot, you want to do one? | G点 你想来玩一个吗 |
| [12:45] | – Duh. – Well, get in here, girl. | -好啊 -那就来吧 |
| [13:09] | No. I’m being serious. | 不 我是认真的 |
| [13:10] | Blue raspberry’s not a real flavor. | 蓝莓不是真正的口味 |
| [13:12] | The Pop-Tart people just made it up. | 是做馅饼的人编造出来的 |
| [13:16] | Scored you some new comic books. | 给你找了本新漫画书 |
| [13:17] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [13:19] | So, I have to tell you something. | 我有件事得跟你说 |
| [13:21] | The others found out I know. | 其他人知道我知道了 |
| [13:23] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:24] | There was this really big emergency, | 家里有非常紧急的事 |
| [13:25] | and this guy was trying to eat us, | 有个人想吃了我们 |
| [13:27] | and then Tandy exploded him. | 然后坦迪把他炸了 |
| [13:29] | There was blood and guts everywhere. | 血肉横飞啊 |
| [13:31] | Really gross. You would have loved it. | 特别恶心 你看了肯定喜欢 |
| [13:33] | Anyway, I had to tell them, | 总之 我不得不告诉他们 |
| [13:35] | so they’re all really mad at me. | 所以他们都很生我的气 |
| [13:38] | Because they just really miss you. | 因为他们真的很想你 |
| [13:41] | Especially Todd. | 尤其是陶德 |
| [13:45] | But I won’t tell them. | 但我不会告诉他们 |
| [13:46] | I won’t tell them where you are if you don’t want me to. Okay? | 你不让我告诉他们 我是绝对不会说的 |
| [13:53] | Just keep bringing you Pop-Tarts. | 我会一直给你带馅饼来 |
| [13:56] | Such a healthy diet. | 多么健康的饮食 |
| [14:00] | Come in. | 请进 |
| [14:06] | What are you all dressed up for? | 你这盛装打扮是干什么 |
| [14:09] | – I have a date. – Oh, yeah? | -我有约会 -是吗 |
| [14:12] | What are you getting your bad self into? | 你要干什么坏事 |
| [14:14] | I’m having a drink… | 我要跟我丈母娘 |
| [14:16] | with my mother-in-law. | 一起喝一杯 |
| [14:19] | What do you say, G Spot? | 你觉得如何 G点 |
| [14:21] | Well, hooty! | 好极了 |
| [14:22] | Yeah, let’s do it! | 走吧 |
| [14:24] | – Really? – Yeah. | -真的吗 -当然 |
| [14:36] | – What the hell, Todd? – Look, I can explain. | -你搞什么 陶德 -你听我解释 |
| [14:37] | There he is. You want to talk to him so bad, go talk to him. | 他就在那边 你这么想跟他说话 那就去 |
| [14:40] | – No, I… I shouldn’t. – Then why did you come here? | -不 我不该来的 -那你为什么来 |
| [14:42] | Look, I wanted to talk to him, okay? | 我是很想跟他说话 好吗 |
| [14:46] | But then I saw you with him, | 但后来我看到你跟他在一起 |
| [14:47] | and I realized he doesn’t trust me | 我意识到他不像信任你一样 |
| [14:50] | like he trusts you. | 信任我 |
| [14:52] | All I do is freak him out. | 我就只会吓到他 |
| [14:55] | And you… | 而你 |
| [14:58] | you’re really good with him. | 你跟他真的很合得来 |
| [15:04] | – What? – It’s just funny, you know. | -什么 -就是觉得有意思 |
| [15:07] | I want to be a dad so bad, | 我那么想当爸爸 |
| [15:09] | but I just keep chunking it. | 但却一直搞砸 |
| [15:12] | You… you hate the idea of being a mom, but you’re… | 你不想当妈妈 但你却… |
| [15:14] | – Todd. – I’m just saying. | -陶德 -我就随口说说 |
| [15:16] | – Well, don’t. – All right. | -不要说 -好吧 |
| [15:18] | Look, don’t worry. I’ve given up on being a dad. | 你放心 我已经放弃当爸爸这个念头了 |
| [15:21] | You have? | 真的吗 |
| [15:22] | Yeah, it’s just not in the cards, you know. | 反正不可能了 |
| [15:24] | I can still be an uncle. | 不过我还是能当叔叔 |
| [15:26] | You know, uncle’s not bad. | 当叔叔也不错 |
| [15:29] | There are some perks. | 有它的优点 |
| [15:30] | You know? All the good stuff, none of the responsibilities. | 不用承担责任 还有好处 |
| [15:34] | And that’s enough for you? | 这对你来说足够了吗 |
| [15:36] | I guess it’s gonna have to be. | 只能如此了 |
| [15:41] | Come on, let’s go. | 我们走吧 |
| [15:49] | You want another shot? | 还想来一次吗 |
| [15:51] | Hit me. | 来吧 |
| [15:55] | Oh, boy! Yeah, that’s fantastic! | 天啊 真是太棒了 |
| [15:58] | G Spot represent! | G点万岁 |
| [16:03] | *Gary, Indiana* | *加里 印第安纳* |
| [16:04] | *Gary, Indiana* | *加里 印第安纳* |
| [16:06] | *Gary, Indiana* | *加里 印第安纳* |
| [16:13] | Hey, you know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [16:15] | I’m having a really nice time with you. | 我跟你在一起玩真的很开心 |
| [16:25] | Tandy, what’s wrong? | 坦迪 怎么了 |
| [16:27] | That just means a lot | 听你这么说 |
| [16:29] | to hear you say that. | 对我意义重大 |
| [16:31] | It’s no secret. You and I have | 这不是秘密 你跟我 |
| [16:33] | gone through some rough patches with our relationship. | 经历了很多坎坷 |
| [16:36] | But it feels like we’re in a really good place right now, | 但我觉得我们现在关系真的很好 |
| [16:39] | and that’s important to me, you know? | 这对我很重要 知道吗 |
| [16:42] | Why do you care so much what I think? | 你为什么这么在乎我的看法 |
| [16:45] | Guess I’m just not used to getting praise. | 可能是因为我不习惯被表扬 |
| [16:47] | You know, growing up, my brother always got all the attention. | 从小到大 我哥哥总是得到所有关注 |
| [16:51] | He was a real overachiever. | 他真的很厉害 |
| [16:53] | My parents just ate it up. | 我父母就只关注他了 |
| [16:55] | It’s like I wasn’t even there. | 就好像我根本不存在 |
| [16:58] | So that’s why, at the funeral, | 所以在葬礼上 |
| [17:00] | when you told me I did good, | 你说我很棒的时候 |
| [17:02] | oh, man, it just made me feel like… | 让我感觉… |
| [17:08] | Like I finally made the fridge, you know? | 感觉我终于有所成就了 |
| [17:12] | You’ve come a long way since Tucson. | 图森之后 你成长了很多 |
| [17:15] | And you know what? | 知道吗 |
| [17:17] | I bet, if your parents were still alive, | 我敢打赌 如果你父母还在世 |
| [17:19] | they’d be just as proud of you as I am. | 他们肯定会跟我一样为你骄傲 |
| [17:22] | Your friendship means a lot to me. | 你的友情对我很重要 |
| [17:24] | Oh, come on. | 拜托 |
| [17:26] | Who are we kidding? Friends? | 开什么玩笑 朋友 |
| [17:28] | Oh, after all we’ve been through, | 我们一起经历了那么多 |
| [17:30] | we’re way more than just friends. | 我们可不仅仅是朋友 |
| [17:34] | You get me? | 懂吗 |
| [17:37] | Uh, yeah. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | 懂 懂 |
| [17:40] | Um, you know, I… I, uh… | 那个 我… |
| [17:42] | I should, uh, probably get back to my wife Carol. | 我应该回去找我妻子卡萝尔了 |
| [17:45] | You don’t want a little more wine? | 你不想再喝点红酒吗 |
| [17:47] | Mm, I don’t think that’d be a good idea. | 我觉得还是算了吧 |
| [18:03] | I’m thoroughly positive | 我很确定 |
| [18:04] | that Bezequille’s birthmark is growing, | 巴泽葵尔的胎记在长大 |
| [18:06] | but the Pilbasians always go | 但菲尔贝森家的人 |
| [18:08] | through a birthmark growth phase. | 都会经历胎记生长阶段 |
| [18:10] | Waxing during the baby phase, | 婴儿时期变大 |
| [18:13] | and then waning as toddlers, | 蹒跚学步时就变小 |
| [18:15] | and then really kicking into high gear during puberty. | 青春期的时候完全消失 |
| [18:18] | I see. | 知道了 |
| [18:19] | Oh, Tandy. | 坦迪 |
| [18:21] | I was having the most interesting chat with Gail. | 我刚才跟盖尔说了很有趣的话题 |
| [18:24] | And, uh, let me guess. | 我来猜猜 |
| [18:25] | Did it happen to include | 是不是说到 |
| [18:26] | how your mother wants to have sex with me? | 你妈怎么想跟我做爱了 |
| [18:29] | – Oh, Lord. – What? | -苍天 -什么 |
| [18:30] | I should’ve seen it coming, Carol. | 我早就该想到的 卡萝尔 |
| [18:32] | I mean, that whole put-on at the funeral was all | 葬礼上她演的那一出 |
| [18:34] | just a long con to get at my dong. | 只是为了得到我 |
| [18:37] | A funeral, Gail? | 葬礼 盖尔 |
| [18:38] | That’s where you like to cruise for meat, huh? | 那就是去勾搭人的地方吧 |
| [18:41] | Tandy, what the hell are you talking about? | 坦迪 你到底在说什么 |
| [18:43] | I could ask you the same question, couldn’t I? | 应该是我来问你 不是吗 |
| [18:45] | To think I used to look at you like a mother! | 我竟然把你当妈妈 |
| [18:48] | And then you started with the innuendo and the hand play. | 可你却开始暗搓搓摸我的手 |
| [18:53] | Tried to take us back to the moment where we first met. | 想让我回到我们刚见面的时候 |
| [18:56] | When the drinks were flowing | 那时候花天酒地 |
| [18:57] | and skinny-dipping was the topic of the day. | 整天聊着裸泳 |
| [19:00] | Well, I got the skinny for you, Gail. | 我跟你说吧 盖尔 |
| [19:02] | The dip you once knew is married. | 你曾经认识的浪子结婚了 |
| [19:06] | To your daughter! | 娶了你女儿 |
| [19:08] | And there’s not gonna be any funny business between us | 我们之间不会有什么了 |
| [19:11] | ’cause I haven’t wanted to see you naked for a long time, | 因为我已经很久不想看到你裸体了 |
| [19:13] | and dreams don’t count, okay? | 梦里不算数 好吗 |
| [19:15] | You can’t control those, and I will not be held | 人控制不了梦 所以我不会 |
| [19:17] | responsible for… them, okay? | 为此负责 好吗 |
| [19:22] | And to think… | 想到… |
| [19:24] | I called you G Spot | 我叫你G点 |
| [19:26] | when all along, I was staring right at a b-hole. | 而一直以来 我看到的都是个B人 |
| [19:31] | You’re such an idiot. | 你真是个白痴 |
| [19:35] | You two have fun. | 你们俩玩吧 |
| [19:37] | Well, uh, I-if that’s a threesome proposition, | 我…如果你是建议玩3P |
| [19:40] | I will never accept without Carol’s blessing! | 那没有卡萝尔同意 我绝不会接受的 |
| [19:43] | And I’m against you doing a twosome with each other, | 我也反对你们2P |
| [19:46] | just to be clear! | 先说清楚 |
| [19:50] | Sounds to me like you misunderstood something. | 我觉得你好像误会什么了 |
| [19:53] | She’ll get over it, Carol. | 她会缓过来的 卡萝尔 |
| [19:56] | They always do. | 他们一向如此 |
| [20:10] | Okay, so I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, | 我最近考虑了很多 |
| [20:13] | and I’ve come to a decision. | 我决定了 |
| [20:18] | I want you to have a baby. | 我想让你有个孩子 |
| [20:23] | What? | 什么 |
| [20:24] | You are always gonna want to have kids, | 你一直想要孩子 |
| [20:26] | and I never will, so, | 而我不想 |
| [20:28] | if we’re gonna get past this, I’m going to have to compromise. | 如果我们想过这道坎 那我得做出妥协 |
| [20:32] | I-I don’t know what to say! | 我都不知道该说什么了 |
| [20:35] | Well, it’s a big decision, | 这是个很重大的决定 |
| [20:36] | so there’s a lot of stuff for us to discuss. | 所以我们有很多需要讨论的 |
| [20:38] | What’s to discuss, hon? Let’s do this! | 有什么好讨论的 直接来吧 |
| [20:40] | Whoa, whoa, easy there. I’m not having a baby. | 等等 我不要生孩子 |
| [20:43] | – You… you just said that… – No, no, no, no, no, no. | -你刚才说… -不不不 |
| [20:45] | This is your deal, okay? | 这是你说的好吗 |
| [20:47] | I’m just gonna be the wife of a guy who has a kid. | 我只想当有孩子的人的妻子 |
| [20:50] | I mean, like you said earlier, I don’t want to be the mom. | 你之前也说了 我不想当妈妈 |
| [20:53] | I just want to be the aunt. | 我只想当阿姨 |
| [20:55] | Okay, well, I… I’m-I’m confused. | 好吧 我凌乱了 |
| [20:58] | I mean, there’s a… | 这其中 |
| [20:59] | serious biological impediment here, you know? | 有重大的生物学障碍吧 |
| [21:03] | Not necessarily. | 那倒未必 |
| [21:06] | Thank you so much for taking time out of your day. | 非常感谢你花时间跟我们一起坐下 |
| [21:08] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [21:08] | Um, the reason we are here is that we… | 我们来找你是因为我们… |
| [21:11] | Well, we have a question for you. | 我们有个问题问你 |
| [21:13] | We have a question for you. | 我们有个问题问你 |