| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Come on, Tina, we got to get to this theater. | 快点 缇娜 我们得去影院了 |
| [00:05] | Look, matinee hours end in 30 minutes, | 白天场还有30分钟就结束了 |
| [00:07] | and I’m not paying full price | 我可不想付全价 |
| [00:09] | to see The Rock beat up a hurricane. | 看巨石强森对抗台风 |
| [00:12] | Baby, we’re only late because you made us stop | 亲爱的 我们迟到都是因为你让大家停下 |
| [00:15] | and try every free sample in the store. | 把店里所有免费小样都尝一遍 |
| [00:17] | How many weenies on a toothpick can one man eat? | 一个人能吃多少根牙签香肠啊 |
| [00:21] | Well, at least we don’t have to stand in line for popcorn. | 至少我们不用排队买爆米花了 |
| [00:23] | I saved us time and money. | 既省时间又省钱 |
| [00:26] | Look, we’ll just find a birthday present for Grover and go. | 我们给葛罗弗买个生日礼物就走 |
| [00:31] | How about these nunchucks? | 双节棍怎么样 |
| [00:38] | you know he’s gonna hit Dave with these. | 他肯定会拿这个打戴夫 |
| [00:42] | Put them back, Bruce Leroy. | 放回去 布鲁斯·勒罗伊 |
| [00:45] | Gemma doesn’t want us to get him any violent toys. | 杰玛不希望我们给孩子买暴力玩具 |
| [00:48] | Fine. Well, I’m-a get them for me. | 好吧 那我自己买一副 |
| [00:53] | Oh, what about this? | 这个呢 |
| [00:54] | No. Gemma asked us | 不行 杰玛让我们 |
| [00:55] | to shy away from any toys that reinforce specific genders. | 避免任何强调特定性别的玩具 |
| [00:59] | Well, God forbid Grover finds out he’s a boy. | 上帝保佑葛罗弗不会发现自己是男孩 |
| [01:04] | How about we just cruise over to the food section | 要不我们就去食品区 |
| [01:06] | and get him a can of soup? | 给他买罐汤吧 |
| [01:09] | Gemma suggested that we get him something educational. | 杰玛建议我们给他选个有教育意义的礼物 |
| [01:12] | Well, we can get him some alphabet soup. | 那我们可以给他买字母汤 |
| [01:15] | Ooh, this is nice. | 这个不错 |
| [01:17] | A math puzzle. | 数学谜题 |
| [01:19] | Seriously? | 真的 |
| [01:20] | What did that boy ever do to you? | 那小子怎么招惹你了 |
| [01:24] | You know what? I-I really can’t believe | 知道吗 我真不敢相信 |
| [01:25] | how these parents coddle their kids nowadays. | 如今父母都是怎么宠孩子的 |
| [01:28] | We gave Malcolm and Marty plenty of violent, | 咱给马尔科姆和马蒂买过那么多暴力 |
| [01:31] | gendered toys and they turned out fine. | 和性别化玩具 他们也挺好的 |
| [01:35] | Come on, you’re dead, man! I knocked your head off. | 你死定了 我砍掉了你的头 |
| [01:37] | No, you missed. You hit that old lady! | 没有 你失手了 你打到那个老太太 |
| [01:43] | You know what? I’m gonna let you deal with this. | 那什么 你来搞定生日礼物吧 |
| [01:45] | I’m gonna go back and get some more toothpick weenies. | 我要回去再吃点牙签香肠 |
| [01:58] | Okay, the backyard is looking good, | 好了 后院情况不错 |
| [02:00] | and the entertainment should be here in half an hour. | 娱乐活动演员半小时后到 |
| [02:02] | – Oh, there’s entertainment? – Oh, yeah. | -有娱乐活动 -没错 |
| [02:05] | We got the one and only Insane Shane the Party Ma-chane. | 我们请了独一无二的派对核心人物疯子肖恩 |
| [02:10] | You got Insane Shane? | 你请了疯子肖恩 |
| [02:13] | – You’ve heard of him? – No. | -你听说过他 -没有 |
| [02:17] | He’s the premier host of kids’ birthday parties in Pasadena. | 他在帕萨迪纳是儿童生日派对最佳主持人 |
| [02:20] | Well, what makes him so special? | 他有什么特别之处吗 |
| [02:22] | Kids love him. He plays games, he juggles, | 孩子们喜欢他 他玩游戏 变戏法 |
| [02:25] | he can do the happy birthday song in armpit farts. | 他能用咯吱窝演奏生日歌 |
| [02:29] | Well, Calvin’s birthday is coming up. | 卡尔文快过生日了 |
| [02:30] | I’ll keep him in mind. | 我会记着他的 |
| [02:33] | You almost done with those cupcakes? | 你的纸杯蛋糕快弄好了吗 |
| [02:35] | Oh, I’m getting there, but I can’t believe | 正弄着呢 不过我真是没想到 |
| [02:37] | you bought so many. | 你买了那么多 |
| [02:38] | Well, I don’t know any of the kids’ allergies, | 我不知道孩子们都对什么过敏 |
| [02:40] | so I got sugar-free, gluten-free, peanut-free, | 所以我买了无糖的 无麸质的 无花生的 |
| [02:43] | vegan, and vegan-gluten-peanut-sugar free. | 全素的 还有全素无麸质无花生无糖的 |
| [02:47] | And taste-free, too. | 而且没有味道 |
| [02:50] | I know, but I don’t care. | 明白 但无所谓 |
| [02:52] | I want to play pin the tail on the donkey, | 我想玩给小驴贴尾巴 |
| [02:54] | not jab the kid with the EpiPen. | 不想玩用肾上腺素笔戳孩子 |
| [02:57] | What up, what up? | 大家好 |
| [02:59] | All right, guys. We got the balloons. | 我们买气球了 |
| [03:01] | Oh, thank you, guys. | 谢谢你们 |
| [03:02] | No problem. | 不客气 |
| [03:04] | Yeah, there was a leaky one. | 有一只气球漏气了 |
| [03:05] | Yeah, I didn’t want to waste it. | 我不想浪费 |
| [03:10] | Gemma, disaster. Insane Shane just cancelled. | 杰玛 糟了 疯子肖恩不来了 |
| [03:13] | What? | 什么 |
| [03:13] | Yeah, apparently, he sneezed | 他抛接保龄球时 |
| [03:15] | while he was juggling bowling balls. | 打了个喷嚏 |
| [03:18] | Now he’s in the hospital with three concussions. | 他因为三重脑震荡住院了 |
| [03:22] | Insane Shane cancelled? | 疯子肖恩不来了 |
| [03:24] | But I told everybody | 但我跟学校所有人 |
| [03:25] | at school he was gonna be here. | 都说了他会来 |
| [03:27] | That’s why they’re coming. | 所以他们才来的 |
| [03:29] | No, no, buddy, they… | 才不是 宝贝 他们 |
| [03:30] | The kids are coming to celebrate you. | 小伙伴们是来给你庆祝的 |
| [03:32] | That’s what this is all about, | 这一切的目的都是如此 |
| [03:34] | how awesome and cool you are. | 都是因为你很酷很棒 |
| [03:37] | They said they were coming for Shane. | 他们说了因为肖恩才来 |
| [03:41] | Hey, you know what, Grover? | 知道吗 葛罗弗 |
| [03:42] | Malcolm and I can play party games with you guys. | 我和马尔科姆能跟你们玩派对游戏 |
| [03:44] | Can you be insane? | 你们能疯起来吗 |
| [03:46] | Totally insane. | 彻底疯起来 |
| [03:50] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [03:52] | We’re the only option you have. | 除了我们你别无选择 |
| [03:59] | – Finish him! – Now, go! | -打败他 -开始 |
| [04:00] | – Go! Go! – Finish him! Steady yourself! | -快走 -打败他 稳住了 |
| [04:02] | Go! Go! | 快啊 |
| [04:05] | Oh, yes! | 棒 |
| [04:06] | And just like that, Colby trips on a sprinkler. | 就这样 科尔比被洒水器绊倒了 |
| [04:09] | B-but he is up again, and running faster than ever. | 但他爬起来 以前所未有的速度奔跑 |
| [04:12] | In the wrong direction. | 跑错方向了 |
| [04:14] | But here comes Haley for Team Malcolm. | 现在跑来的是马尔科姆队的海莉 |
| [04:16] | And Team Malcolm wins. Yes! | 马尔科姆队赢了 真棒 |
| [04:20] | In your face. | 服不服 |
| [04:23] | Dude, what are you doing? | 兄弟 你怎么回事 |
| [04:25] | We’re just playing party games with the kids. | 我们只是在陪小孩子玩游戏而已 |
| [04:27] | Oh, you’re just saying that because I won again. | 你这么说是因为我又赢了 |
| [04:29] | I came out of Mama first, | 老妈先生的是我 |
| [04:30] | and I haven’t given up that lead since. | 从来都是我领先 |
| [04:33] | Seriously? I am an engineer. | 你认真的吗 我是工程师 |
| [04:36] | I have a great job, and my own apartment. | 我的工作很棒 还有自己的公寓 |
| [04:38] | You are unemployed, and you live at home | 你不仅待业 还跟你爸妈 |
| [04:40] | with your mama and your daddy. | 住在一起 |
| [04:42] | Yes, but who just won the egg toss? | 你说的对 但刚才扔鸡蛋谁赢了来着 |
| [04:46] | You have never beaten me at anything physical, | 在体力上你从来都不如我 |
| [04:48] | and you never will. | 以后也不会 |
| [04:50] | – Do you think that bothers me? – I think that kills you. | -你觉得我会在乎吗 -我觉得你会抓狂 |
| [04:52] | Damn it, you’re right. Kids, | 见鬼了 你说的对 孩子们 |
| [04:54] | help me get Colby out of those tomato vines. | 帮我把科尔比从番茄藤里弄出来 |
| [04:58] | Hey, everybody. | 大家好 |
| [04:59] | Oh, hey, Calvin. | 卡尔文 |
| [05:00] | Hey, baby, where you been? | 宝贝 你去哪里了 |
| [05:02] | Oh, I was just wrapping the birthday gift I got for Grover. | 我刚才在包给葛罗弗的礼物 |
| [05:06] | Oh, but we already got him the math puzzle. | 我们已经给他准备数学谜题了 |
| [05:08] | Yeah, you know, I scratched my name off that card. | 是的 但我把我的名字从卡片上刮掉了 |
| [05:12] | That’s all you now. | 现在是你一个人送的了 |
| [05:14] | Oh, don’t mind if I do. | 别介意我先吃点 |
| [05:19] | What the hell? | 怎么回事 |
| [05:23] | Okay, stop playing. Where are the real cupcakes? | 别玩了 真正的纸杯蛋糕在哪里 |
| [05:29] | Yay. Flash cards. | 真棒 单词卡 |
| [05:34] | What a great gift. | 多好的礼物啊 |
| [05:35] | Now, don’t let me catch you playing with those after bedtime. | 别让我抓到你睡觉的时候在玩这个哦 |
| [05:39] | I don’t think you’re gonna catch him | 我觉得你什么时候都不会抓到 |
| [05:40] | playing with those at any time. | 他玩那个游戏 |
| [05:43] | Sweetie, tell Colby how much you like it. | 宝贝 告诉科尔比你很喜欢这个礼物 |
| [05:45] | I thought I wasn’t supposed to lie. | 我不是不能撒谎么 |
| [05:50] | Grover. | 葛罗弗 |
| [05:50] | It’s okay, I get it. | 没关系 我能理解 |
| [05:54] | Ring toss, three-legged race, pin the tail on the donkey. | 套圈圈 两人三足跑 贴驴尾巴 |
| [05:59] | Yo, man, what are you doing? | 伙计 你说这些干吗 |
| [06:00] | I’m just recapping my wins. | 我在回顾我赢了哪些项目 |
| [06:03] | Okay, okay. Well, in that case, uh, | 好吧 这样的话 |
| [06:05] | bank account, credit score, uh, life. | 银行账户 信用记录 人生 |
| [06:11] | Those are all very good points. | 你说的很有道理 |
| [06:14] | – Don’t none of them matter right now, do they? – No! | -但是跟现在扯不上半点关系 -是的 |
| [06:19] | Great, another math puzzle. | 太棒了 又是数学谜题 |
| [06:22] | Grover, thank Miss Tina. | 葛罗弗 快谢谢缇娜阿姨 |
| [06:24] | Thanks, Miss Tina. | 谢谢 缇娜阿姨 |
| [06:26] | Your mother made me get it. | 你妈逼我挑这个的 |
| [06:29] | Well, okay, it looks like we opened up all the gifts. | 好像礼物都拆完了 |
| [06:32] | Not yet. | 还没有 |
| [06:33] | There’s one more? | 还有一个 |
| [06:35] | There you go. My man. | 拿好了 我的朋友 |
| [06:38] | Cool! | 太酷了 |
| [06:40] | A knife. | 一把刀 |
| [06:42] | A knife? | 一把刀 |
| [06:43] | A knife. | 一把刀 |
| [06:44] | Yeah, a knife. Here, hold that next to your face | 是啊 一把刀 举到面前 |
| [06:47] | so I can take a picture. | 我来拍张照 |
| [06:48] | Oh, my God. | 天哪 |
| [06:53] | Holler at your boy! | 记得呼我哦 |
| [07:05] | – Can I touch it? – Yeah. | -能让我摸一下吗 -好啊 |
| [07:07] | But you got me the flash cards, so you’re last. | 但你的礼物是单词卡 你排最后 |
| [07:11] | Calvin, what is the matter with you, getting Grover a knife? | 卡尔文 你是怎么回事 给葛罗弗一把刀 |
| [07:14] | What, were they all out of nail guns? | 店里的射钉枪卖光了吗 |
| [07:18] | Give me some credit, Tina. | 能不能表扬一下我 缇娜 |
| [07:19] | The kickback on one of those things | 射钉枪的后坐力 |
| [07:21] | would knock that boy off his feet. | 会让他一屁股坐在地上 |
| [07:24] | Okay, you know what? Everyone, back away. | 好了 各位 让开 |
| [07:27] | It’s my turn to touch it. | 轮到我摸了 |
| [07:28] | Yep. All right, why don’t we put away all the lovely gifts, | 我们现在把礼物收起来 |
| [07:32] | and the knife, | 还有这把刀 |
| [07:33] | and, uh, get back to the fun games with Malcolm and Marty? | 回去跟马尔科姆和马蒂玩游戏吧 |
| [07:36] | But everyone wants to play with it. | 但是大家都想玩刀 |
| [07:38] | I know, that’s why it’s going away. | 我知道 所以才要收起来 |
| [07:40] | Guys, could you take all the kids outside? | 伙计们 你们能不能把孩子们带出去 |
| [07:42] | All right, kids, let’s go. All right, let’s go. | 孩子们 我们走吧 |
| [07:43] | – Let’s go. – Let’s go. | -我们走吧 -我们走 |
| [07:45] | Dave, kitchen, now. | 戴夫 来厨房 马上 |
| [07:50] | Dave, trouble, in. | 戴夫 麻烦 来了 |
| [07:55] | Calvin, cupcake, find. | 卡尔文 纸杯蛋糕 去找吧 |
| [08:03] | How could Calvin give our son a knife | 卡尔文怎么能送孩子一把刀 |
| [08:05] | without talking to us first? | 还不提前跟我们说 |
| [08:06] | I know. He probably knew | 我知道 他应该是觉得 |
| [08:08] | that I couldn’t keep something that cool a secret. | 这礼物这么酷 我守不住秘密吧 |
| [08:11] | How are you not more upset about this? He gave our son a weapon. | 为什么你不生气 他送咱儿子一件武器啊 |
| [08:15] | It’s not a weapon, it’s-it’s a pocketknife. | 这不是武器 只是把小折刀 |
| [08:18] | It’s a handheld stabbing machine. | 是手持杀戮装置 |
| [08:21] | Yeah, but if they call it that, they’re not gonna sell any. | 要是叫那个名字 就卖不出去了 |
| [08:26] | Okay, look, | 听我说 |
| [08:27] | I know you just want Grover to be safe. | 我知道你只是希望葛罗弗安全 |
| [08:30] | So do I, but, you know, it’s not that big a deal. | 我也是 但也没有那么可怕 |
| [08:33] | When I was his age, I had a BB gun. | 我像他这么大时 有一把BB枪 |
| [08:35] | Yeah, and you still have a BB in your arm | 那是 你朋友用那把枪射你 |
| [08:37] | from when your friend shot you with it. | 现在你胳膊里还有颗BB弹呢 |
| [08:39] | Actually, it’s not there anymore. | 现在已经没了 |
| [08:41] | It just, it disappeared for a year, | 它消失了一年 |
| [08:43] | and then it resurfaced in my leg. | 然后又出现在我腿上 |
| [08:47] | We’ll talk about this later. | 这个等会再说 |
| [08:48] | Right now, this is going in the same drawer | 现在 这个要和你的软呢帽和激光笔 |
| [08:50] | as your fedora and your laser pointer. | 待在一个抽屉了 |
| [08:53] | What– you said that my laser pointer was stolen. | 什么 你不是说我的激光笔被偷了吗 |
| [08:58] | Can I have the knife back? | 能把刀还给我吗 |
| [09:00] | The other kids are ignoring me without it. | 没这把刀其他小孩都不理我 |
| [09:02] | Oh, honey, they’re not ignoring you. | 亲爱的 他们不是不理你 |
| [09:04] | Yeah, they probably think the party is just less fun | 对 他们可能只是觉得刀没了 |
| [09:06] | now that the knife is gone. | 这个派对变无聊了 |
| [09:09] | Gemma, I-I know you think it’s dangerous, | 杰玛 我知道你觉得这把刀很危险 |
| [09:11] | but the knife is actually pretty cool. | 但其实它挺酷的 |
| [09:14] | And isn’t that exactly what you wanted for Grover’s party? | 你不是正希望葛罗弗的派对能办得酷一点吗 |
| [09:18] | – Well, yeah, but… – Okay. Well, then, | -话是这样说 但是 -好了 |
| [09:20] | how about this: how about I’ll take the knife outside, | 要不这样 我把刀拿出去 |
| [09:23] | and I will show it to the kids? | 给孩子们看一看 |
| [09:24] | I will hold it the whole time, I promise. | 它会一直在我手里 我保证 |
| [09:28] | In fact, you know what? I won’t even open it. | 要不这样 我甚至都不打开它 |
| [09:31] | Please, Mom? It’s my birthday. | 求你了 妈妈 这是我的生日 |
| [09:35] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [09:36] | Yeah! | 太好了 |
| [09:39] | And, uh, my laser pointer? | 我的激光笔呢 |
| [09:40] | It’s in heaven now. | 已经升天了 |
| [09:45] | Come on, Team Marty! | 加油 马蒂队 |
| [09:46] | This isn’t about fun and games anymore. | 重要的不是游戏和乐趣了 |
| [09:48] | Then why are we doing it? | 那为什么我们还要玩 |
| [09:51] | So Marty doesn’t cry himself to sleep tonight. | 这样马蒂今晚就不用哭着睡着了 |
| [09:55] | I don’t do that anymore. | 我现在已经不这样了 |
| [09:57] | Stop laughing! You’re on my team. | 别笑 你是我队里的 |
| [10:00] | Here come the waterworks. | 眼泪就要夺眶而出了 |
| [10:03] | We got the knife! | 我们拿到那把刀了 |
| [10:12] | And then there were two. | 现在就剩我们俩了 |
| [10:13] | Oh, I see you’ve been working on your math. | 看得出你努力学数学了 |
| [10:17] | I see you haven’t been working on your arms. | 看得出你没有努力锻炼胳膊 |
| [10:19] | Okay, so it’s like that? | 好吧 就这样吗 |
| [10:21] | – Yeah. – Yeah, well, I could do this all day. | -对 -我可以坚持一整天 |
| [10:24] | I don’t have to go to work until Monday. | 我周一才去上班 |
| [10:25] | Oh, yeah? Joke’s on you. I don’t have a job. | 是吗 傻了吧你 我不上班 |
| [10:31] | Now, | 听好 |
| [10:32] | I know most of you think that the blade | 我知道你们大多数觉得 |
| [10:34] | is the coolest part of the knife, | 刀最酷的地方是刀锋 |
| [10:35] | but have you ever stopped to take a look | 但你们有没有留意过 |
| [10:38] | at the bolster? Take a look at that. | 刀架 看看这个 |
| [10:42] | Dave? | 戴夫 |
| [10:43] | What the heck are you doing? | 你在干什么呢 |
| [10:44] | Leave it up to you to make a knife boring. | 在你手上刀都能变无聊 |
| [10:47] | Open it up. | 打开 |
| [10:49] | I can’t. I promised Gemma. | 不行 我答应了杰玛 |
| [10:52] | Dave, come on. | 戴夫 行了 |
| [10:53] | These kids are starving for something fun. | 这些孩子渴望着好玩的东西 |
| [10:56] | My mom says fun is dangerous. | 我妈妈说好玩的东西很危险 |
| [11:00] | Well, your mom thinks flash cards are a great gift. | 你妈妈还觉得单词卡很适合当做礼物呢 |
| [11:05] | Now, who wants to have fun? | 谁想来点好玩的东西 |
| [11:09] | O-Okay, all right. | 好吧 |
| [11:10] | Okay, fine, I will open it. | 好吧 我把刀打开 |
| [11:12] | But only so I can teach you guys proper knife safety. | 但我只是为了教你们怎么安全地使用刀具 |
| [11:15] | I’m kind of an expert since I was an Eagle Scout. | 我当过鹰级童子军 所以算是个用刀专家 |
| [11:18] | What’s that? | 那是什么 |
| [11:20] | What’s an Eagle Scout? | 什么是鹰级童子军 |
| [11:21] | Well, it’s like one step below a Navy SEAL. | 再上一级就是海军海豹突击队了 |
| [11:26] | Dave, you’re barely one step above a real seal. | 戴夫 你再上一级连海豹都算不上 |
| [11:36] | Now, there are a few things | 当你手中拿着一把刀时 |
| [11:38] | that you should always do when handling a knife. | 应该永远记得这几点 |
| [11:41] | You should always make sure | 永远要确保 |
| [11:42] | that there is no one within arm’s reach. | 一臂之内没有别人 |
| [11:48] | And you should always make sure | 你还要永远确保 |
| [11:50] | that you are cutting away from yourself, like so. | 刀刃的方向远离自己 像这样 |
| [11:56] | Okay, all right. | 好了 |
| [11:57] | Okay, those are a few of the boring things you should always do. | 这都是些无聊的建议 告诉你应该怎么做 |
| [12:04] | Now let me show you a few cool things | 下面我让你们见识一些很酷的事 |
| [12:07] | that you should never do. | 但你们永远都不应该做 |
| [12:09] | – Kids, kids. – All right? With a knife. | -到这来 孩子们 -用刀做的事 |
| [12:12] | All right? Never… | 永远不要 |
| [12:15] | hold a knife like this. | 像这样拿着刀 |
| [12:19] | Unless there’s a zombie apocalypse, | 除非僵尸大爆发 |
| [12:22] | and you got to do what you got to do. | 你只能尽力保护自己了 |
| [12:24] | Look here. Zombie! Zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie! | 看这里 僵尸 僵尸 僵尸 僵尸 |
| [12:28] | Calvin! Cal-Calvin, that’s enough. | 卡尔文 卡尔文 行了 |
| [12:30] | Never go hand to hand. | 永远不要两只手接来接去 |
| [12:32] | Don’t want to do that. | 可别这么做 |
| [12:34] | Unless there are zombies on both sides. | 除非两边都有僵尸 |
| [12:38] | Left zombie dead! | 左边的僵尸死了 |
| [12:39] | Right zombie dead! | 右边的僵尸死了 |
| [12:41] | Okay, Calvin, that’s good. We… | 好了 卡尔文 可以了 我们 |
| [12:43] | Lis-Listen, kids, and never, ever, ever, ever | 听好 孩子们 永远永远永远不要 |
| [12:46] | hold a knife by the blade… | 握着刀刃 |
| [12:49] | unless… you’re gonna throw it at the king zombie. | 除非 你要用刀扔僵尸之王 |
| [12:59] | Calvin! That… | 卡尔文 这 |
| [13:02] | …was awesome! | 太帅了 |
| [13:08] | Gemma, I’m so sorry about Calvin. | 杰玛 我为卡尔文道歉 |
| [13:09] | He should never have given Grover that knife | 他不该不先征求你们的同意 |
| [13:11] | without asking you guys first. | 就给葛罗弗那把刀 |
| [13:14] | Funny, that’s exactly what I was gonna write | 有意思 我本来打算在 |
| [13:15] | on the thank-you card. | 感谢卡上这样写的 |
| [13:19] | What is it with boys and dangerous things? | 男孩为什么那么喜欢危险的东西 |
| [13:21] | You know, scientific studies have been done on this very subject, | 有很多针对这一课题的科学研究 |
| [13:25] | and they always come back with the same conclusion: | 而它们的结论总是惊人地相似 |
| [13:28] | boys are stupid. | 男人真幼稚 |
| [13:32] | Maybe for Christmas, I should just get Grover | 也许圣诞节我应该直接给葛罗弗 |
| [13:34] | this box of matches and a can of lighter fluid. | 这盒火柴和一罐打火机油 |
| [13:37] | Oh, please. He doesn’t need those. | 拜托 他才不需要这些 |
| [13:39] | Marty used to start fires with his magnifying glass. | 马蒂曾经用放大镜点过火 |
| [13:43] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [13:44] | You know that’s our third garage out back? | 你知道那是我们的第三个车库了吗 |
| [13:48] | Look, my point is, | 我想说的是 |
| [13:50] | no matter what you do, boys will always | 不管你怎么做 男孩总会 |
| [13:52] | find a way to make everything dangerous. | 想办法把一切变成危险品 |
| [13:55] | Well, when do they finally grow out of it? | 那他们什么时候才会长大懂事呢 |
| [13:57] | Well, Calvin bought nunchucks the other day, so, never. | 那天卡尔文买了双节棍 所以永远不会 |
| [14:01] | Great. That means I’m gonna be worried | 太好了 也就是说我这辈子 |
| [14:03] | for the rest of my life. | 都要忧心忡忡了 |
| [14:05] | Well, if it makes you feel any better, | 如果能让你好受些 |
| [14:06] | they keep it interesting. | 他们创意百出 |
| [14:08] | You know, Malcolm once stuck a fork in a light socket. | 知道吗 马尔科姆有次把叉子插到灯座里 |
| [14:13] | What happened? | 后来呢 |
| [14:14] | We had to get a new fuse box. | 我们换了个保险丝盒 |
| [14:18] | – Oh, you mean to Malcolm. – Yeah. | -你是问马尔科姆 -对啊 |
| [14:20] | He was fine once his eyebrows grew back. | 等眉毛长回来他就没事了 |
| [14:24] | Look, Gemma, | 杰玛 |
| [14:25] | if you want, I’ll make sure that Calvin takes | 如果你想的话 我就让卡尔文 |
| [14:27] | that knife back right now. | 现在就把刀收回来 |
| [14:30] | It’s okay. Dave promised | 没事的 戴夫说他保证 |
| [14:31] | they’d be careful with it. | 他们会小心的 |
| [14:41] | And that’s how you play pin-finger. | 刀戳指缝就是这么玩的 |
| [14:45] | Which you should never, ever do | 绝对绝对不要这么做 |
| [14:47] | unless you’re a pirate. | 除非你是海盗 |
| [14:48] | Or me. | 或者我 |
| [14:53] | I know what you’re thinking. | 我知道你在想什么 |
| [14:54] | You have no idea what I’m thinking. | 你根本不知道我在想什么 |
| [14:56] | “Use the force, Marty.” | “运用原力 马蒂” |
| [15:00] | Get out of my head, wizard! | 滚出我的脑袋 巫师 |
| [15:02] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [15:03] | I live in your head. | 我住在你的脑袋里 |
| [15:04] | Oh, why– did Mom and Dad finally start charging you rent? | 为啥 爸妈终于开始收你房租了吗 |
| [15:09] | I knew you would say that. | 我就知道你会这么说 |
| [15:10] | – No, you didn’t. Stop it! – No, you didn’t. Stop it! | -你不知道 别闹 -你不知道 别闹 |
| [15:13] | – I’m not playin’! – I’m not playin’! | -我没开玩笑 -我没开玩笑 |
| [15:15] | – I’m not playin’! – I’m not playin’! | -我没开玩笑 -我没开玩笑 |
| [15:18] | Do another trick! | 再耍一个把戏 |
| [15:19] | All right, I’ll show you a trick. Give me the knife. | 我给你看一个把戏 把刀给我 |
| [15:21] | Really, seal boy? | 真的吗 海豹小子 |
| [15:23] | What are you gonna do– balance it on your nose? | 你要干嘛 顶在鼻子上保持平衡吗 |
| [15:26] | Okay, now, don’t tell your mom, | 别告诉你妈妈 |
| [15:29] | but this is a little trick | 但我以前曾用 |
| [15:30] | I used to wow ’em with back in scout camp. | 这个小把戏惊艳了整个童军营 |
| [15:39] | It might be good for scout camp, | 这也许能唬住童军营 |
| [15:41] | but what are you gonna do in real life when zombies attack? | 但现实生活中僵尸来袭了你要怎么办 |
| [15:46] | Want to see me throw it higher? | 想看我扔得更高吗 |
| [15:47] | Yeah! | 想 |
| [15:55] | Your dad’s cool, Grover. | 你爸爸好酷 葛罗弗 |
| [15:56] | Oh, you think that was cool? | 这你就觉得酷[凉]了 |
| [15:58] | You better put on your parka, | 那你最好把大衣穿上 |
| [16:00] | because it’s about to get downright freezing. | 因为马上就要寒风刺骨了 |
| [16:05] | Give me some room. | 让开点 |
| [16:07] | Ready? | 预备 |
| [16:08] | ♪Happy birth…♪ | ♪生日快…♪ |
| [16:13] | Right through the shoe. | 直接插进鞋里 |
| [16:15] | Oh, my God, are you okay? | 天啊 你还好吗 |
| [16:17] | – Gemma, get the car keys! – Okay, okay. | -杰玛 拿车钥匙 -好的 好的 |
| [16:19] | Get the car keys now. | 快拿车钥匙 |
| [16:23] | Guys, I… | 各位 我 |
| [16:24] | hope that is a valuable lesson to all of you | 希望这对你们来说是宝贵的一课 |
| [16:27] | that you won’t tell your parents. | 并且你们不会告诉家长 |
| [16:38] | So… | 那个 |
| [16:40] | fun party. | 派对真开心 |
| [16:45] | Yeah, it was great. | 对 开心极了 |
| [16:46] | There was blood, there was a knife. | 有血 有刀 |
| [16:47] | The only thing missing was the crime scene tape. | 就差犯罪现场的录像了 |
| [16:51] | Okay, okay. Look, I get it. | 我明白 |
| [16:53] | You’re mad. | 你生气了 |
| [16:55] | I never should have given him the knife. | 我就不该把刀给他 |
| [16:57] | You think? He’s only seven years old. | 这还用说 他只有七岁 |
| [17:00] | Oh, I was talking about Dave. | 我说的是戴夫 |
| [17:04] | Yeah… I specifically asked | 我特别嘱咐了 |
| [17:06] | that nobody get Grover a weapon, | 别给葛罗弗任何武器 |
| [17:07] | and you got him one anyway. | 但你还是给了他一把刀 |
| [17:09] | And a math puzzle. | 还有数学谜题 |
| [17:11] | No matter what the card says, | 你别管卡片上写了什么 |
| [17:12] | that was from both of us. | 那是我们夫妻一起买的 |
| [17:16] | Look, Gemma. | 杰玛 |
| [17:18] | Look, I didn’t mean to disrespect you or anything like that. | 我没有故意不尊重你的意思 |
| [17:23] | I just remember | 我只是想到 |
| [17:24] | when my grandfather gave me my first knife. | 我爷爷送我第一把刀时的情景 |
| [17:27] | It made me… | 让我觉得 |
| [17:29] | feel like a man, even though I was a kid. And so | 自己是个男子汉 虽然我当时只是孩子 |
| [17:32] | I wanted Grover to have that same feeling too. | 所以我也想让葛罗弗有同样的感觉 |
| [17:35] | But he’s not a man. | 但他还不是 |
| [17:37] | He’s a little boy. | 他只是个小男孩 |
| [17:40] | Look, I’m not naive. | 我并不天真 |
| [17:41] | I know I can’t keep him in a bubble forever. | 我知道他无法永远待在我的羽翼之下 |
| [17:44] | But he’s my baby, and I want to protect him | 但他是我的孩子 我想尽可能地 |
| [17:46] | for as long as I can. | 去保护他 |
| [17:49] | You know what? You’re right. | 知道吗 你说得对 |
| [17:51] | I guess I just never looked at it like that. | 或许我从没这样想过 |
| [17:54] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [17:59] | It’s okay. | 没关系 |
| [18:01] | Your heart was in the right place. | 你的出发点是好的 |
| [18:04] | Besides, I have to admit, | 而且我不得不说 |
| [18:06] | the knife was a huge hit. | 刀这个礼物很受欢迎 |
| [18:08] | Probably even bigger than Insane Shane would’ve been. | 可能比疯子肖恩还受欢迎 |
| [18:12] | He’s one floor up, by the way. | 对了 他的病房就在楼上 |
| [18:16] | You know, Grover did seem like he had fun. | 葛罗弗的确玩得挺开心 |
| [18:20] | I know. | 是啊 |
| [18:21] | I was so worried about him making friends, | 我之前真担心他交不到朋友 |
| [18:23] | but now all the kids think he’s cool. | 但现在所有孩子都觉得他很酷 |
| [18:25] | Well, of course. | 那当然 |
| [18:27] | They saw a dude get stabbed at his birthday party. | 他们在葛罗弗生日派对上看到有人被刺伤了 |
| [18:31] | Come Monday, he’s gonna be the man. | 下周一他就成风云人物了 |
| [18:36] | There you are. Are you okay? | 出来啦 你还好吗 |
| [18:40] | They couldn’t save the sock. | 我的袜子没能幸免 |
| [18:44] | But other than that, I’m fine. Ooh, and look. | 除此之外我很好 你们看 |
| [18:47] | They took out my BB. | 他们取出了我的BB弹 |
| [18:50] | I don’t know whether to kiss you or step on your foot. | 我不知道该亲你一下还是踩你一脚 |
| [18:54] | I know which one would be more fun to watch. | 我倒是知道哪一种看着更有趣 |
| [18:58] | I’m sorry we played with the knife. | 我为玩刀的事道歉 |
| [19:00] | Yeah. Yeah, it was a little childish. | 是有点幼稚 |
| [19:03] | But the kids were egging us on. | 但孩子们都在怂恿我们 |
| [19:06] | Yeah, and I totally would have caught it | 要是我没有因为蛋糕分心 |
| [19:08] | if I wasn’t distracted by the cake. | 是完全可以接住的 |
| [19:10] | Throwing it that high? | 扔那么高也行 |
| [19:12] | Yeah, right. | 得了吧 |
| [19:14] | I’m sorry, you-you don’t think so? | 等等 你觉得我做不到吗 |
| [19:15] | ‘Cause there’s a scalpel back in the room. | 屋里刚好有把解剖刀 |
| [19:17] | Hey, you’re talking. I don’t see you moving, though. | 嘴强王者 你倒是来啊 |
| [19:18] | Well, let’s go, then. | 那来吧 |
| [19:21] | – Guys. – I mean, you saw I was… | -两位 -你看到我 |
| [19:23] | – Sorry. You’re right. – Yeah, my bad. Bad… | -对不起 我错了 -我的错 |
| [19:30] | Meet me in the back yard tomorrow. | 明天后院见 |
| [19:32] | I’ll show you. | 我秀给你看 |
| [19:42] | Did you ask my parents if it’s okay to do this to our tree? | 在我家树上刻字经过我父母同意了吗 |
| [19:46] | No. | 没有 |
| [19:48] | That’s why I’m carving your name into it and not mine. | 所以我刻的是你的名字 不是我的 |
| [19:53] | So, how did your friends like the party? | 你朋友喜欢这个派对吗 |
| [19:56] | Yeah, they loved it. | 他们很喜欢 |
| [19:57] | I even got a bunch of play date invites. | 我还收到了一堆游戏邀约 |
| [19:59] | Well, all right. | 可以嘛 |
| [20:02] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [20:03] | I’m gonna hold onto this for you until your mom says it’s okay. | 在你妈同意给你之前 我帮你保管 |
| [20:07] | But the knife is what made me cool. | 但我有刀才酷啊 |
| [20:10] | Trust me, Grover, you were cool | 相信我葛罗弗 没有刀 |
| [20:13] | way before this knife. | 你也很酷 |
| [20:15] | You think? | 真的吗 |
| [20:16] | Definitely. And that’s coming from me, | 当然 这话是我说的 |
| [20:19] | the coolest guy you know. | 你认识的最酷的人 |
| [20:23] | Thanks, Mr. Calvin. | 卡尔文先生 谢谢 |
| [20:25] | – Good night, little man. – Good night. | -小家伙 晚安 -晚安 |
| [20:33] | All right, fellas, finish up, now. | 你们别玩了 |
| [20:35] | Come on, your mom made dinner. | 你们老妈做好晚餐了 |
| [20:36] | Oh, help me, Jesus. | 天哪 救命啊 |
| [20:39] | Face it, Marty– you will never beat me. | 马蒂承认吧 你永远也别想打败我 |
| [20:42] | I can feel it. Tonight is the night! | 我能感觉到 今晚就能赢你 |
| [20:44] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [20:45] | You’re fooling yourself. | 别自欺欺人了 |
| [20:47] | I’ll always be bigger. | 我永远更壮 |
| [20:48] | I’ll always be stronger, I’ll always be… | 永远更强 永远 |
| [20:56] | And I’ll always be smarter. | 我永远更聪明 |