| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:07] | [knocking on door] | |
| [00:08] | Ooh, that can’t be Lorenzo and Claire. | |
| [00:10] | They’re never early. | |
| [00:11] | Maybe they smelled your cooking. | |
| [00:15] | [laughs]No, it’s just the freeloaders that smelled it. | |
| [00:20] | I’m sorry, I didn’t know freeloaders paid rent. | |
| [00:22] | Yeah, I still say we pay too much rent. | |
| [00:24] | Look at this place. | |
| [00:26] | All right, now, where’s that pot roast I smell? | |
| [00:27] | [laughs]: Yeah.Whoa, not so fast. | |
| [00:29] | That food is for company. | |
| [00:31] | Not for people who we love and care about. | |
| [00:33] | Get out. | |
| [00:34] | What? Wh…Oh… | |
| [00:35] | Don’t worry. Mommy made you boys some extra. | |
| [00:38] | [both laugh] | |
| [00:39] | Now get out. | |
| [00:43] | Oh, I get it. | |
| [00:45] | Y’all get a kitchen island | |
| [00:46] | and suddenly you’re too good for us. | |
| [00:49] | Suddenly? | |
| [00:50] | We were too good for y’all | |
| [00:51] | when we got the George Foreman Grill. | |
| [00:53] | Bye-bye. | |
| [00:56] | ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ | |
| [00:58] | ♪ Welcome to the hood. | |
| [01:04] | Oh, my G– I love | |
| [01:06] | the renovations, you guys.Thank you. | |
| [01:07] | Yeah, who was your contractor? | |
| [01:09] | An earthquake.[laughs] | |
| [01:11] | And just like most contractors, | |
| [01:13] | she showed up whenever she felt like it. | |
| [01:17] | Uh, hey, guys, that was Gemma. | |
| [01:19] | She’s stuck at work, so it looks like | |
| [01:20] | you’re with just Dave tonight. | |
| [01:23] | [chuckles] Solo Dave. | |
| [01:25] | Dave after dark. | |
| [01:27] | Maybe we’ll just keep the lights on. | |
| [01:31] | Hey, so Calvin said you guys used to live | |
| [01:33] | in the neighborhood. Why did you leave? | |
| [01:34] | ‘Cause the white people started moving in. | |
| [01:36] | [laughter] | |
| [01:39] | He’s joking. Yeah. | |
| [01:41] | We moved to D.C. for a few years for Lorenzo’s job. | |
| [01:44] | Yeah, and when they moved back, they moved | |
| [01:47] | to the Westside. | |
| [01:49] | Leaving us behind. | |
| [01:50] | I could never leave you behind, C. Come on. | |
| [01:53] | Even though my best man tried | |
| [01:55] | to outshine me at my own wedding. | |
| [01:57] | Hey, don’t be mad because I showed up suited and booted. | |
| [02:00] | You went with the basic black, I showed up | |
| [02:03] | with the purple tux with the Now & Later gators, man. | |
| [02:05] | [laughter] | |
| [02:08] | Well, I am so glad you guys are back. | |
| [02:10] | So here’s to picking up where we left off. | |
| [02:12] | Yeah.I love you, babe. | |
| [02:15] | And I love you, too, baby, just as much as I did back then. | |
| [02:19] | Aww. Mwah. | |
| [02:21] | Man, this makes me want to marry Gemma all over again just so you | |
| [02:24] | could be my best man. | |
| [02:26] | Remind me not to save the date. | |
| [02:29] | [laughs] | |
| [02:30] | Looks like I need a refill. | |
| [02:31] | Oh, yeah. You know where it is. Right back there. | |
| [02:34] | Mm. All right, so now that he is gone, | |
| [02:38] | we need to plan our couples trip. | |
| [02:40] | And Dave, you and Gemma should come this time. | |
| [02:42] | Oh, well, what are we thinking? | |
| [02:43] | Aloha or buenos días? | |
| [02:46] | We’ll be lucky if it’s “welcome to Orange County.” | |
| [02:48] | [laughs] | |
| [02:49] | Yeah, Lorenzo never wants | |
| [02:51] | to go anywhere anymore. | |
| [02:52] | Neither does Calvin unless it’s on Groupon. | |
| [02:55] | Tina, you sleeping on Groupon. Literally. | |
| [02:58] | Those sheets? $25. | |
| [03:02] | Plus, 30% off on teeth whitening. | |
| [03:07] | Yeah, looks like I need a refill, also. | |
| [03:10] | All right.Yeah, me, too. | |
| [03:11] | I’m single tonight, | |
| [03:13] | so I’m gonna turn up. | |
| [03:17] | As soon as I can get away, it’ll just be you, me | |
| [03:19] | and those beautiful toes of yours. | |
| [03:21] | [laughs] | |
| [03:23] | Bring the whipped cream. [kissing sounds] | |
| [03:26] | Hey. | |
| [03:28] | Hey. Uh… | |
| [03:30] | How long you guys been standing there? | |
| [03:32] | Long enough to know that you into some freaky stuff. | |
| [03:36] | Whoa. | |
| [03:37] | What an incredible time for me to lose my hearing. | |
| [03:44] | What is going on, Zo? | |
| [03:46] | I know you not out here creeping on Claire. | |
| [03:49] | Y’all were just all lovey-dovey on the couch. | |
| [03:51] | I got a lot of love in my heart, C. | |
| [03:54] | Some of it is for Claire and some of it’s for this | |
| [03:56] | 23-year-old, beautiful dental assistant I met at Costco. | |
| [04:01] | You know what? | |
| [04:03] | We always said we’d keep it real with each other. | |
| [04:06] | Well, is this little side piece worth blowing up your marriage? | |
| [04:09] | I love Claire. | |
| [04:11] | But what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. | |
| [04:13] | And you got my back, right? | |
| [04:15] | Remember The Man Code. | |
| [04:17] | The Man Code? | |
| [04:19] | Don’t come at me with that. | |
| [04:20] | Look, I’m not down with your bull, | |
| [04:23] | but… I’m not a snitch, either. | |
| [04:25] | [quietly]: What about your boy? | |
| [04:27] | Oh, he over there telling Claire right now. | |
| [04:29] | Oh, my God…Look, look, look. | |
| [04:31] | Look, I’m just messing with you, | |
| [04:33] | but this a dangerous game you playing. | |
| [04:40] | [laughs]:Stop. | |
| [04:45] | Stop! | |
| [04:46] | Oh, my gosh, you are so funny! | |
| [04:49] | I said stop! | |
| [04:51] | Oh, okay, okay, I’ll talk to you later. | |
| [04:54] | Hey, hon. | |
| [04:57] | Hey, who, uh, who’s the comedian? | |
| [05:00] | Jameson, the school’s soccer coach. | |
| [05:02] | I’ve been helping him with scheduling. | |
| [05:03] | Oh. He really had you laughing, huh? | |
| [05:06] | Yeah, I told him he should do stand-up. | |
| [05:09] | Stand-up? | |
| [05:10] | [chuckles] | |
| [05:14] | I don’t think you ever said that to me. | |
| [05:16] | Yeah, well, there’s stand-up funny | |
| [05:18] | and then there’s “sitting around the house” funny. | |
| [05:21] | [phone ringing] | |
| [05:23] | Oh, it’s Jameson again. | |
| [05:25] | [giggles] I’m laughing already. | |
| [05:28] | Hey, Jameson. | |
| [05:29] | [laughs] | |
| [05:31] | Oh, my gosh, please stop! | |
| [05:33] | [snorts] | |
| [05:37] | Did she just snort? | |
| [05:43] | Tonight was fun. | |
| [05:45] | Yeah, nothing like old friends, right? | |
| [05:48] | Eh, there was just something different about Lorenzo. | |
| [05:52] | Really? | |
| [05:54] | He seemed like the same old loud Lorenzo to me. | |
| [05:58] | No, I mean, | |
| [06:01] | every time he went into the kitchen to freshen up his drink, | |
| [06:04] | he came back with an empty glass. | |
| [06:07] | Maybe the man was thirsty. | |
| [06:10] | You know, Calvin, I don’t mean to talk about your boy, but… | |
| [06:14] | I think he may have a drinking problem. | |
| [06:16] | Oh. You know, maybe you’re on to something with that. | |
| [06:19] | Uh, we’ll plan his intervention in the morning. Good night. | |
| [06:27] | Okay. What’s going on, Calvin? | |
| [06:30] | [scoffs] Well, the lights. | |
| [06:32] | Even though I just turned them off. | |
| [06:35] | You ain’t fooling nobody, Calvin Butler. | |
| [06:39] | You know something. | |
| [06:40] | [chuckles] Not at 11:59 at night, I don’t. | |
| [06:44] | Okay? | |
| [06:47] | What’s going on with Lorenzo? | |
| [06:50] | Babe, these are next-day questions, okay? All right. | |
| [06:53] | It’s midnight, so technically, it is the next day. | |
| [06:57] | Spill it! [shouts] | |
| [07:01] | [sighs] | |
| [07:03] | [whispering]: Okay. | |
| [07:04] | What I’m about to tell you got to be kept a secret. | |
| [07:07] | Okay, but why are you whispering? | |
| [07:09] | I don’t know. | |
| [07:15] | [normal volume]: Lorenzo’s having an affair. | |
| [07:18] | [whispers]:What? | |
| [07:20] | [whispers]: Yes. | |
| [07:22] | Oh, my God, I can’t believe that jackass. | |
| [07:26] | Claire is gonna be devastated when she finds out. | |
| [07:29] | No, she’s not. | |
| [07:30] | Because she’s not gonna find out. | |
| [07:32] | At least not from us. | |
| [07:34] | Calvin. | |
| [07:35] | Tina. | |
| [07:37] | Look, now, I’m not gonna say nothing and neither are you. | |
| [07:41] | Men, | |
| [07:43] | we live by The Man Code. | |
| [07:44] | Look, if I know you know something, | |
| [07:46] | then I could tell you. | |
| [07:48] | But if I don’t know that you know, | |
| [07:49] | then I can’t tell you, you know? | |
| [07:53] | Oh, I know. | |
| [07:55] | And that nonsense should have expired when you turned 25. | |
| [07:59] | The Man Code is stupid. | |
| [08:01] | Well, if that isn’t gender bias, I don’t know what is, Tina. | |
| [08:07] | Calvin, | |
| [08:08] | Claire and I go way back, | |
| [08:10] | just like you and Lorenzo. | |
| [08:12] | And I will be calling her in the morning. | |
| [08:23] | Tina. | |
| [08:25] | You can’t tell Claire that Lorenzo is cheating on her, | |
| [08:29] | ’cause you’d be breaking The Marriage Code. | |
| [08:33] | The Marriage Code? | |
| [08:34] | Yes. It’s sacred. | |
| [08:37] | Secrets between a husband and wife have to stay a secret. | |
| [08:43] | It’s in the Bible. | |
| [08:46] | It’s Leviticus 3:6… Mafia, or something. | |
| [08:52] | Yeah, but that does not outweigh Exodus 20:14 | |
| [08:55] | “Do not screw around on your wife.” | |
| [08:59] | All right, all I’m saying is that we should stay out | |
| [09:02] | of other people’s relationships. | |
| [09:04] | Agreed, but I live by The Sister Code. | |
| [09:07] | And if Claire asks me directly if I know what’s going on, | |
| [09:10] | then I have to tell her. | |
| [09:14] | [phone ringing][groans] | |
| [09:18] | Oh, my God, it’s Claire. What am I gonna do? | |
| [09:21] | All right, now, you can’t tell her. | |
| [09:23] | I been knowing Lorenzo since I was in junior high school. | |
| [09:26] | Give me a chance to talk to him, | |
| [09:27] | let him see if he can make this right. | |
| [09:29] | But what if she already knows? I got to pick up. | |
| [09:31] | Hello? | |
| [09:33] | Oh, a-are you okay? | |
| [09:35] | Oh, your car broke down. | |
| [09:37] | Ugh, that’s great. | |
| [09:40] | I mean, not-not great. I mean, | |
| [09:42] | considering the news it could’ve been, yeah, yeah. | |
| [09:44] | O-Oh, yeah, okay. | |
| [09:46] | Yeah, have it towed to the shop. | |
| [09:47] | And-and Calvin will be happy to fix it in the mistress. | |
| [09:51] | I mean, the morning. In the morning. | |
| [09:55] | Okay. | |
| [09:56] | Bye-bye. | |
| [09:57] | [laughs] | |
| [09:59] | Oh, my goodness. | |
| [10:00] | Look at my baby | |
| [10:02] | holding up The Marriage Code. | |
| [10:03] | Come on, now.Oh, yeah, it wasn’t easy. | |
| [10:06] | You lucky you cute. | |
| [10:07] | I’m cute, huh? [chuckles]Mm-hmm. | |
| [10:09] | Am I cute enough for you to come on over here? | |
| [10:13] | Good night, Calvin. | |
| [10:18] | Y-You asleep already? | |
| [10:23] | Hey, honey. I’m taking a kickboxing class. | |
| [10:24] | I’ll be back in an hour. | |
| [10:25] | Okey dokey, hot and smoky. Mwah.Mwah. | |
| [10:29] | Oh, hey, Gem, | |
| [10:30] | you forgot your phone. | |
| [10:32] | [phone chimes]Oh. | |
| [10:34] | Text from Jameson. | |
| [10:41] | “Are we still on for 6:00? | |
| [10:44] | “Make sure to bring that peach emoji. | |
| [10:48] | Winky-face emoji, don’t tell my wife.” | |
| [10:53] | “Don’t tell my wife”? | |
| [10:57] | This guy isn’t funny at all. | |
| [11:01] | Maybe I’m missing something. | |
| [11:04] | Only one way to find out. | |
| [11:06] | [phone chirping]Nope. | |
| [11:09] | What, did she change her password? | |
| [11:10] | Let me try her face. | |
| [11:14] | [phone chirping] | |
| [11:18] | [phone clicks]Oh, no. | |
| [11:21] | No, no, no. No, no, no. | |
| [11:22] | Ooh, don’t lock, don’t lock. | |
| [11:24] | Ooh, you locked. | |
| [11:26] | Darn it. | |
| [11:29] | Oh, hey, Grover, want to play Candy Crushon Mom’s phone? | |
| [11:31] | Here you go. What? | |
| [11:33] | I-It’s locked. | |
| [11:35] | What did you do? | |
| [11:39] | Nothing. You just handed it to me. | |
| [11:42] | What did youdo? | |
| [11:49] | Hey, baby.Hey, babe. | |
| [11:51] | What are you doing here? | |
| [11:52] | Well, I am taking you out on a date. | |
| [11:55] | You know, I’ve been thinking about Claire and Lorenzo | |
| [11:57] | for the past few days, and it made me realize | |
| [11:59] | how good we have it. | |
| [12:01] | Yeah, we do have it good, don’t we?Mm-hmm. | |
| [12:03] | Thou shall appreciate thy hot wife. | |
| [12:06] | That’s right. [laughs] | |
| [12:08] | So what’s wrong with the cheater’s car? | |
| [12:12] | A pair of panties in the tailpipe? | |
| [12:15] | You know, baby, I hate being put in this position | |
| [12:17] | by a two-timing, no good, | |
| [12:19] | low… | |
| [12:20] | …renzo and Claire! | |
| [12:22] | Hey, Calvin.Hey. | |
| [12:24] | Well, your car is fixed and ready to go, you guys. | |
| [12:28] | Oh, Tina, I’m so happy you’re here. | |
| [12:31] | There’s something I wanted to ask you. | |
| [12:32] | W-Why do you need to ask her? | |
| [12:34] | You can ask me anything that you need. | |
| [12:37] | Because it’s a question for Tina, | |
| [12:39] | ’cause I know she’ll be honest with me. | |
| [12:41] | [laughs] | |
| [12:50] | Okay, so, this has been bothering me | |
| [12:53] | since we hung out the other night. | |
| [12:54] | Oh, thank God. You and me both. | |
| [12:58] | I knew it. My pound cake was so dry, huh? | |
| [13:01] | Ugh. | |
| [13:02] | I think it needed more eggs.No, no, no. | |
| [13:04] | Actually, Claire, your pound cake was great. | |
| [13:08] | And so are you. | |
| [13:10] | Lorenzo’s lucky to have you. | |
| [13:12] | Thank you, Tina. | |
| [13:15] | So, what was bothering you? | |
| [13:16] | Ooh! Bae, Bae. | |
| [13:18] | Baby. | |
| [13:19] | [laughs]: Tina and Calvin are so busy. | |
| [13:22] | We should probably just get out of here, baby. | |
| [13:24] | Okay, but stop rushing me. I want to talk to our friends. | |
| [13:27] | Okay, but we… So, Calvin, | |
| [13:29] | CLAIRE:Calvin. | |
| [13:30] | So I heard you guys had fun at the game. | |
| [13:32] | The game? | |
| [13:33] | Yeah, yeah. Stop playing, C. | |
| [13:36] | The Lakers game last night. | |
| [13:38] | The Lakers game. | |
| [13:39] | Ha! Yeah, yeah. | |
| [13:40] | Yeah, the game was, uh, | |
| [13:41] | uh, it was a crazy game. | |
| [13:44] | You know what I’m saying? | |
| [13:45] | I drank a lot of them $20 beers, though, | |
| [13:47] | so, you know me, you know, I got the… all night. | |
| [13:51] | I ended up winning some money. | |
| [13:53] | I won a lot of money last night. | |
| [13:55] | And g-guess I got lucky. That’s me. | |
| [13:57] | Lucky, lucky Calvin. | |
| [14:02] | Calvin, can you help me find Lorenzo’s keys | |
| [14:04] | in the office, please? | |
| [14:07] | Looks like my luck just ran out. | |
| [14:13] | [knocking on door]Oh. | |
| [14:14] | [clears throat] | |
| [14:16] | [chuckles]: Hey. Hey, guys. | |
| [14:17] | Oh, hey.Hi. I need some help | |
| [14:20] | unlocking Gemma’s phone, and quickly, before she gets home. | |
| [14:23] | Uh, Dave, before we break into your wife’s phone, | |
| [14:25] | shouldn’t you explain why we breaking into your wife’s phone? | |
| [14:30] | Sure. She has been spending a lot of time | |
| [14:32] | with the school’s soccer coach. | |
| [14:34] | She thinks this guy is hilarious, | |
| [14:36] | but obviously he’s no me. | |
| [14:38] | I mean, I’m the funniest guy that you two know, right? | |
| [14:40] | Uh… Um… [stammers] | |
| [14:43] | Hey, you are the funniest Dave that we know. | |
| [14:47] | Yeah– Uh, oh, no. Dave Wilson. | |
| [14:49] | Oh, now, he is funny, right? | |
| [14:50] | He should do stand-up. | |
| [14:52] | Dave Wilson…Dave Wilson is a fool, boy. | |
| [14:55] | Oh, forget about Dave Wilson! | |
| [14:57] | Now, listen, | |
| [14:59] | Gemma left her phone, and I saw a text from him that said, | |
| [15:03] | “Bring that peach emoji,” | |
| [15:05] | and then, “Don’t tell my wife.” | |
| [15:08] | What does the peach emoji even mean? | |
| [15:10] | BOTH: Oh… | |
| [15:12] | Uh… So… | |
| [15:13] | Well, uh, well, in-in the ever-evolving parlance | |
| [15:16] | of young folks, it is generally associated | |
| [15:18] | with the gluteus maximus. | |
| [15:21] | “That ass,” Dave. It means “that ass.” | |
| [15:24] | It means “that ass”? | |
| [15:25] | Yeah.Hey, hey, hey. | |
| [15:27] | There must be some misunderstanding. | |
| [15:29] | Gemma would never step out on you, man. | |
| [15:31] | I know that, but if she finds out that I was snooping, | |
| [15:32] | then she’s gonna think that I don’t trust her, | |
| [15:34] | and then she won’t trust me. | |
| [15:35] | And then the next thing you know, | |
| [15:36] | she’s hiding assets overseas | |
| [15:37] | and I’m picking up Grover on weekends. | |
| [15:39] | Okay, don’t worry, Dave. | |
| [15:41] | You got the power of the U.S. government on your side. | |
| [15:45] | This is high-tech equipment used to debug the Mars rover, | |
| [15:49] | but now I can finally use it for something important. | |
| [15:52] | All right. | |
| [15:54] | Oh! Oh… | |
| [15:58] | Did it work? | |
| [16:02] | I can’t believe you lied | |
| [16:04] | for that cheating Lorenzo. | |
| [16:05] | Look, I didn’t have no choice, Tina. | |
| [16:07] | All right? We’ve always had each other’s back. | |
| [16:10] | What kind of man would I be if I sold out my oldest friend? | |
| [16:13] | The kind of man who does the right thing, | |
| [16:16] | even when it’s hard. | |
| [16:19] | Yo, everything good in here? | |
| [16:23] | Calvin will fill you in. | |
| [16:30] | [sighs] | |
| [16:34] | So, she knows, doesn’t she? | |
| [16:35] | Tina’s not your problem. Claire is. | |
| [16:38] | Why didn’t you pick up on the Lakers thing quicker, man? | |
| [16:40] | Oh, I’m sorry. Did I not lie fast enough for you? | |
| [16:43] | It was bad enough you pulled me into your mess, | |
| [16:46] | but now you messing up my thing. | |
| [16:50] | So, you’re gonna blow up my spot? | |
| [16:51] | You blew up your spot. | |
| [16:53] | Man, you got Claire out here looking stupid, | |
| [16:55] | and we both know she doesn’t deserve that. | |
| [16:58] | You need to fix this. | |
| [16:59] | Fix what? | |
| [17:01] | Okay, now you testing my patience. | |
| [17:05] | Okay. Look, Claire. If you…These are not mine. They’re not mine. | |
| [17:07] | They’re not mine, Tina. | |
| [17:08] | Claire, if you calm down…What’s going on here? | |
| [17:10] | Oh, what’s going on? I found some hoochie’s flip-flops | |
| [17:13] | under the front seat. | |
| [17:16] | You cheating on me! | |
| [17:17] | What? | |
| [17:22] | So you have been taking other women to get pedicures? | |
| [17:27] | Look, Claire, I was just coming out here to tell you. | |
| [17:28] | I’m sorry. I know House of Toes is our place. | |
| [17:33] | Oh! | |
| [17:35] | Do something, Calvin. | |
| [17:36] | What do want me to do? The lady’s holding a tire iron. | |
| [17:39] | LORENZO: Baby, baby, baby! | |
| [17:40] | Babe, please. [exhales] | |
| [17:42] | We can fix this. | |
| [17:43] | Oh, hell no. | |
| [17:45] | And you will never see these feet again, cheater. | |
| [17:49] | Don’t do that. | |
| [17:51] | No– Baby![metal scraping] | |
| [17:52] | Oh! | |
| [17:53] | [shouts] | |
| [17:59] | Uh… | |
| [18:02] | That divorce is gonna cost you, | |
| [18:04] | but not as much as this paint job. | |
| [18:11] | Luckily, I just needed to flip the breaker. | |
| [18:13] | Yeah, unfortunately, this is gonna need a lot more help. | |
| [18:16] | [sighs] | |
| [18:19] | I’m never gonna recover from this. | |
| [18:21] | Time to start looking into high-powered divorce attorneys. | |
| [18:24] | [knocking on door]Ooh. | |
| [18:26] | [laughs] H-Hey, Gemma. | |
| [18:28] | Oh! Gemma. Gemma. | |
| [18:30] | Uh, the gem who’s a ma. | |
| [18:32] | The ma who is a gem. | |
| [18:34] | Come here, my precious stone. | |
| [18:35] | Oh, okay. | |
| [18:37] | Uh, for some reason, my tablet said my phone is here. | |
| [18:39] | Oh… | |
| [18:41] | And why does it look like | |
| [18:42] | your mom’s banana bread? | |
| [18:49] | So, I’m gonna go. | |
| [18:51] | Uh, y-you two enjoy our lovely home. | |
| [18:53] | And remember, checkout’s at 11:00. | |
| [18:54] | [door closes] | |
| [18:56] | [laughs] | |
| [18:58] | Uh… Gemma. | |
| [19:00] | Y-You are gonna laugh when you hear this story. | |
| [19:03] | Dave, what’s going on? | |
| [19:06] | Okay, look, to be honest, | |
| [19:08] | I saw a part of a text from Jameson, | |
| [19:12] | and I know it was wrong, but it made me a little jealous, | |
| [19:14] | so I tried to read the rest. | |
| [19:15] | And? | |
| [19:17] | Well, and he asked you | |
| [19:20] | to bring “that peach emoji,” which any person hip | |
| [19:24] | to the ever-evolving parlance of young folks | |
| [19:26] | knows means… “that ass.” | |
| [19:32] | Dave, he sends me peach emojis | |
| [19:35] | when he’s talking about my homemade peach cobbler. | |
| [19:38] | But he’s not supposed to eat it because him and his wife Susan | |
| [19:41] | are on a diet. | |
| [19:46] | Well, someone should tell Jameson | |
| [19:47] | what a peach emoji means. | |
| [19:49] | [sighs] | |
| [19:51] | Look, I’m sorry. | |
| [19:53] | All of this is because Calvin’s friend did something | |
| [19:56] | that just sent me into a spiral. | |
| [19:58] | Well, I don’t know what that’s about, | |
| [20:01] | but you know you can talk to me about anything. | |
| [20:03] | Yeah, I-I know that, | |
| [20:04] | and I should never have invaded your privacy. | |
| [20:07] | It’s just, you were laughing so much with that guy. | |
| [20:10] | You even snorted one time. You never snort with me. | |
| [20:14] | There’s nothing sexy about snorting. | |
| [20:17] | And I want to be sexy in front of you. | |
| [20:19] | You know you make me | |
| [20:21] | laugh harder than anybody. | |
| [20:23] | You think I could do stand-up?Nope. | |
| [20:27] | But that’s only because I want you all to myself. | |
| [20:31] | And don’t worry about Jameson. | |
| [20:34] | I could never do the whole “Chris Hemsworth-looking | |
| [20:36] | soccer coach” type. Bleh. | |
| [20:39] | “Bleh” is right. | |
| [20:42] | [chuckles] | |
| [20:43] | Chris-Chris Hemsworth? | |
| [20:44] | As in, uh, Thor, God of the Thunder? |